July 30, 2024 • 32 mins
Unlock the secrets of your inner authority and transform your life with our latest episode! Imagine living each day guided by a deep, inherent wisdom, unburdened by societal expectations. We kick off by defining inner authority as a guiding compass reflecting our true essence and share compelling personal stories that illuminate the struggle of finding this voice amidst cultural conditioning. Learn how traditional parenting, educational systems, and societal norms can often derail us from our innate wisdom, and discover transformative practices like unschooling and baby-led weaning that help children stay connected to their inner guidance from an early age.
Are you ready to live authentically and make real-time decisions that honor your true self? Join us as we explore the nuances of trusting your inner voice, even when it defies societal norms or long-term expectations. Whether it means staying in a situation and changing it or leaving it behind, the freedom to honor each other's choices is crucial. We dive deep into the magic of alignment, where listening to our higher selves leads to a life brimming with pleasure and joy. Rejecting rigid notions of right and wrong, we highlight the importance of embracing our unique vibrations to contribute to a harmonious collective existence.
Finally, we emphasize the need for self-awareness and the importance of rewiring past conditioning for healthier, more aligned decisions. Discover the power of human design in fostering deeper self-awareness and how supportive individuals can aid in transforming conditioned responses. We wrap up with a heartfelt reminder of the value of seeking support in your transformative journey. Authentic connections are key, and we're here to guide you through discovering your inner authority. Tune in, reach out, and let's embark on this magical journey together!
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Episode Transcript
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Keri (00:01):
Welcome to Redefining Normal.
Join us as we questionconventional thinking and talk
about the courage it takes tocreate and live a deliciously
vibrant life.
Jamy (00:10):
This podcast is for people who know there's a better way
to do life and love how we showup in connection to others our
kids, our partners, our businessand, beyond that, our
relationship with money,vitality and, more than anything
, ourselves.
Keri (00:26):
We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to
experience the fullness of life.
Jamy (00:32):
And we're collapsing the conditioning that says you can't
live a life of pleasure, peaceand abundance in the midst of
the mundane of life,responsibilities, work and kids.
Keri (00:43):
Thank you for listening in .
Let's do this On today'sepisode of Redefining Normal.
We are talking about our innerauthority, so I want to start
this conversation by saying whatis the normal way that we show
up in life when it comes toutilizing our inner authority?
What does normally happen Inlife when it comes to utilizing
(01:05):
our inner authority?
What does normally happen solike normally, culturally?
Yeah, actually, what is innerauthority in the first place?
Let's talk about that.
Jamy (01:11):
Yeah, I mean.
Inner authority to me is mydeep inner knowing right, Like
it's the thing within me that'sguiding me through life.
It's my body, it's my soul.
It's my body, it's my soul,it's my higher self right.
It's like it's the culminationof the essence of me.
What about you?
(01:32):
What does inner authority meanto you?
Keri (01:36):
It's that, and I would say it's even that inner direction,
like our inner compass, or thething that tells us, that voice
in our head that says this iswhat you do, this is what you
don't do, our higher self, who'swho's?
Who's running the show?
Jamy (01:51):
Yeah.
So here's.
The thing, though, is that thatinner voice can often reflect
conditioning, and what you'velearned is right and wrong and
cultural stuff and all of that.
So there is this like nuancedconversation around, yeah, but
that's not right to do.
According to whom right, likewhere did we learn that?
Whose voice actually is that?
But I'm big on this topic Likethis is why I homeschooled or
(02:15):
unschooled my kids is because somuch of my own healing journey
was undoing all of these weird,dogmatic, unconscious like rules
that I was living by becausesome other authority told me
that's the way it should be, andso in my head, it was like, if
I can give my kids a connectionto what their own wisdom, their
(02:38):
own body, their own uniqueguidance says from the get go,
how amazing would that be ifthey're not having to undo all
of this in order to then findtheir own truth.
But when thinking about it, likewe're born and, of course,
we're looking to our parents forauthority, and most parents do
(02:59):
not know how to do this in a waythat isn't I know better than
you do, so just listen to me.
Right, and we're turning ourkids away from their inner
authority continually becauseprobably we're uncomfortable
with making mistakes, withpotentially painful experiences,
whatever.
So we're like no, I just knowbetter, just listen to me.
Or we like, and the one examplethat comes to mind is like when
(03:22):
parents are fighting and thenkids can see it and feel it.
We're like no, no, no, it'sfine, we're not fighting.
They can feel something andwe're telling them they're not
right.
So there's all of these littleways where we turn our littles
away from their own innerauthority and we send them to
school.
Listen to your teachers, theyknow best.
Go to work.
Listen to your boss, listen toyour government or your, you
(03:44):
know, the authorities listen toGod in religious circles and
that God is a religious God,right, not God like the God that
is you.
So think about this we areliterally from the get go
navigated away from our yes andour no, ultimately Deep inner
knowing right, Like there is athing in us that knows.
Keri (04:07):
I think it even starts and I mean, I raised my kids with
baby led weaning I think it evenstarts when we start to feed
them mashed up food that has noshape.
They have no idea what they'reeating.
And then you go, you have toeat this.
And when they spit it out andthey're at you and you're like
what if they're full?
They're at you and you're likewhat if they're full?
Well, it's not the amount thatthe doctor said you have to eat,
so I'm going to try and forcethis into your mouth.
They know they're no and wedon't trust them.
(04:27):
Yeah.
Jamy (04:28):
What if they don't like the taste of it?
There's so many like whateverthey're saying.
No, give them their no Right.
Keri (04:41):
Right, which is so like with baby led, didn't?
They didn't die, and then Ididn't have to transition them
to be like hey, you really likedthis broccoli when it was
mashed up.
Right now, you don't know whatit is Right.
And so we're actually, even inthose points, stopping our
children from understandingtheir own yes and no and not
trusting them.
And I have watched so manyparents, even from this point,
not allow a child to trust theiryes or no.
(05:02):
And I know for me and I knowboth of us have done this in our
own ways, but I know for me aswell, like I set up my house and
not only if we go, if we'regoing to deep into this like I
knew human design back whenRobbie was born, and Robbie, my
oldest one, is a manifester.
So when you understand humandesign and you sit there and you
know that you're raising amanifester, that kid is not
going to ever want to ask forpermission.
No, to ask for permission, no.
And so in order to do that likewhen you like it's a beautiful,
(05:24):
beautiful way to understandhuman like your, your inner
authority is to actuallyunderstand your design and
understand your kids' designs,because then you can actually
lead them into their own yesesand their nos and their own
strategy for their ownstrategies, and then they're
raised into that and there's nolike.
You never have to deconditionthem.
Robbie is 15 years old and he isa manifester true and true.
And I swear to God, watchinghim, at 15 years old, be a
manifester is one of the mostbeautiful things in the world,
(05:47):
because he initiates people andhe's not afraid to and he
doesn't ask.
Yet he doesn't ask permissionhalf the time, but it set up
because when he was little, Iput food in the house.
That was like if you want to goand find the food that you want
to eat, go ahead, you are youare capable to do any of this.
Jamy (06:09):
Think about that.
I mean, like I'm curious in theaudience, like how many people
are triggered by Carrie sayingmy kid does not have to ask
permission to do things likethis is a deeply conditioned.
Kids do not know.
We need to guide them.
There's a difference betweenguiding and controlling you know
, I mean like and it isuncomfortable, I get it Like
they may fall and break an arm,they may eat something that is
bad for them, they may you knowwhat I mean.
(06:30):
Like.
There is this whole range.
Keri (06:32):
And Robbie has definitely done things where he's eaten too
much sugar and he's vomited andhe hated it and he guess what
he?
Jamy (06:37):
didn't do it again.
Keri (06:39):
Right.
Jamy (06:39):
Next year at.
Keri (06:40):
Halloween.
He's like mom, I'm not doingthat again.
Jamy (06:42):
I'm like good choice then.
Say my kids I had.
They had unlimited sugar andthey were like yeah, no, thanks,
Right.
Keri (06:48):
Right, yeah, and I like I want to preface, by the way,
robbie, when I say this becauseit's a little child like there
is definitely ways that we canexpand what they're allowed to
and not allowed to do with withand without permission.
And raising a manifestor Isthis safe for you, is this safe
for others and is this safe forthe world?
This is one of my biggest rulesin my home Is this safe for you
, safe for others and safe forthe world?
If it is okay.
(07:09):
But if this is going to besomething where you're going to
leave, like I'd say to Robbie,if you need to leave the house,
you need to do something that Ineed to be informed.
This is part of understanding,being a manifest friends.
He's like mom, I want to go seethis person if he needs my
support or if it's going to besomething I need to do.
(07:29):
Mom, I really want to go andsee this friend.
I've made the plans.
Can you take me?
Are you available at this time?
What time are you available?
Can you do that?
It's not a hey, mom.
Do I have permission to go hangout with my friends?
Jamy (07:45):
ask permission.
I don't have manifestors, butmy kids also do not.
I mean that's a part of hisstrategy.
But if you don't know humandesign, if you don't appreciate
human design, this conversationgoes beyond that because, beyond
understanding your strategy andthis isn't even a parenting I
mean like it starts therebecause this is where most of us
stop recognizing our innerauthority, but it goes
throughout life.
I mean like I think about nowhow quickly we outsource to
(08:09):
science or to medical authority,but they must know what's right
.
I didn't think this was quiteright but my doctor said I
should whatever right, like howoften we see what we perceive as
experts for a very generalizedpublic and we outsource to their
opinion or to theirprofessional, educated whatever
(08:32):
they are not more educated onyou and you.
This is like a big conversationof learning to come back to
your inner knowing and this isnot an over.
None of the things we talkabout here are just these.
Overnight, all of a sudden, Ijust listened to myself.
Right, but what we're trying todo is plant seeds for these,
(08:54):
these things that we can dodifferently that create big
changes in the way we experiencelife.
Keri (09:00):
Yes.
So, for example, when I startto talk to clients about this
type of work and really startingto understand your inner
authority, one of the thingsthat I will say because I also
teach muscle testing, right,like when we can actually start
to learn muscle testing and thistype of a thing and I know you
do as well and so I'll say, like, don't try and do this like for
your big decisions in liferight away, right, but start
with like, hey, what do I wantto eat right now?
(09:22):
And listen to that.
Do I actually want thischocolate, yes or no?
No, don't eat it.
Listen to that, because thenyou're building trust, or don't.
Jamy (09:31):
And recognize the discomfort right Like.
This is how we learn.
You're going to make like I.
Have people that are like whatif I?
Keri (09:38):
do it wrong.
Jamy (09:40):
And it's like you will, you a hundred percent will, but
that's going to give youinformation on how to refine and
get it more right.
You know, like Carrie and I'vebeen doing this for years, we
still get it wrong.
We're still like oh yeah, Imisread that one.
But we don't interpret it asnegative.
We interpret it as data torefine our process, to refine
(10:03):
the communication with ourbodies, with our inner knowing,
and you do start to trust itmore.
You're like I'm.
I mean like I trust that thisis happening for a reason.
So I'm going to follow it.
Even if it blows up in my face,I'm going to learn something
from it, you know.
So this, this is a big deal,because when we are outsourcing
to others, because when we areoutsourcing to others, we are
(10:24):
not free.
Keri (10:26):
Yeah, we are limited and we are trapped, you know, in a
dynamic or a story that is notours.
I'm like, I'm like wonderingwhat other negative effects come
from outsourcing our authority.
(10:46):
I would say disease, dis-easein our bodies, disharmony in our
relationships.
Jamy (10:52):
I'm thinking about how many people are in marriages,
are parenting, are in schools,are in what in some place in
their life that they do not?
How many of you listening arelike I am in my job because I
went to college because at 18,somebody my parents or teacher,
somebody told me I need todecide what I want to do.
Forever, got a degree, got thejob.
(11:13):
I fucking hate it.
Like I have no joy in what I'mdoing.
I actually want to be an artist.
I actually want to.
I skate, I want to.
It is Right.
Like, how many people are in astory that is not theirs?
Right, because they listen tosomebody else's authority, right
?
Keri (11:33):
And oftentimes it is like it is the conditioning from the
teachers, the parents, the worldprior to having anything to do
with us.
Yeah, yeah, like it'sinteresting, because when I had
my tooth pulled a few weeks ago,this tooth, this tooth was
related to intuition and I waslike I don't get it.
I listened to my intuition allthe time, like I live my life by
(11:56):
intuition.
Why would I want to pull myintuition?
Why would I want to pull atooth by my intuition?
And when I really sat with itfor a moment and I think this is
like a huge moment here in thisinner authority it was like
actually, carrie, you knew yearsbefore you separated and
divorced your husband by the way, we're almost done with divorce
, we're going to have to have aparty and a celebration on here,
right.
But you knew years prior, yearsprior, that this was not the
(12:23):
right person anymore for you andI didn't listen and I didn't
listen to my inner authority andI made it because the world
says I'm supposed to have itthis way and how am I going to
do it otherwise?
And I'm not safe enough.
And really the voice in my mindwas I can't survive without a
man and I am, I am, I'm notsuccessful if I don't have a man
by my side, right, and thoseinner voices that were so deep
(12:44):
underneath me were bypassing myown inner authority and I ended
up in a marriage that I lookback and I'm like man.
That was a lot of years in mylife that I went like, huh, that
sucked, I'll embrace that suck,right, right.
And I had to go through thegrieving process, because I did
have a grieving process ofthinking, wow, I wasted so many
(13:06):
years of my life, I'm not thereanymore.
I think everything isabsolutely fucking divinely
timed and perfect and I'mgrateful for every moment of
everything that happened to getme to this place.
But, yes and yes, and I did notlisten to my inner authority,
and I know, I'm sure I'm surethere are some of you out there
listening right now who are inthe same exact place, wondering,
wondering, like my innerauthority says get the fuck out.
(13:30):
Where is it saying to you Getthe fuck out?
Is it your job or the?
Jamy (13:34):
flip side of stay.
Work this out Right.
Everything in your mind is likeno, fuck this, I don't want to
do it anymore.
It's so subtle and it's abouttrusting the next action, right?
Yes, it can't be.
I'm going to do this nowbecause, 15 years down the road,
it's like in this moment whatis true for me.
(13:58):
And practice listening to it,even if it blows up in your face
.
Just listening.
Keri (14:06):
Yeah, actually, I think I think what's really cool
actually about what you said isthat in like what I said about
get out, and I want to honor you, jamie, because what you did
both of us like we've said thisbefore, but both of us came to
this place in our marriageswhere we're both like this
doesn't feel good anymore.
Yeah, and what I really loveand honor about what you did,
jamie, is that yours was stayand change it.
(14:28):
And how can we open things to away that makes me happy in here
, right?
And so you've also had thingsthat have happened in your
marriage that are outside thebox, that the world would say,
no, that's fucked up, you're notallowed to do.
That you guys couldn't possiblydo what you've done.
You couldn't possibly, you know, and you did.
(14:49):
And because you did and becauseyou listened to the inner
authority when the world saidthis would be a crazy ass idea,
when even your own heart andsoul was like I don't know how
this is going to go, I don'tknow if this is going to work, I
don't know if I'm going to likeit.
He doesn't know if he's goingto like it, we don't know if
we're going to end up together,but you both listened and you
dug in and you went.
You know what my, my higherself, myself, says this is the
(15:10):
way for right now.
Yeah, in this moment.
Jamy (15:13):
this is what it is, yeah.
Keri (15:15):
And so I think it is really important to bring that
to.
Like I said, it was the rightthing to end, but it might be
the right thing to stay andcompletely remove a box and go.
How can we do this in adifferent box?
Jamy (15:24):
Yeah, and it is not.
Has nothing to do with, um,like, I don't stay for 20 years
down the road.
I don't stay because I wantthis future thing.
It's like in this moment, whatdoes my inner authority say?
And that's what I listened to,cause I think it's so easy to
(15:45):
create a future story staying ornot staying, doing the thing,
quitting the job, whatever it isright.
It's like that that decisionhinges on all these things that
could or could not be createdfrom.
It has nothing to do with thosethings.
It has to do with the momentright now.
And what is it?
And learning, like I have tofully acknowledge, I don't
(16:07):
always hear my own innerauthority correctly.
I am much better at it than Iwas a decade ago, but this is
the human experience.
I'm continually learning andthere is no.
This is another episode.
Actually is like reframingmistakes and understanding what
they are, but there are nomistakes, right, it's all data,
(16:29):
it's all learning.
Keri (16:30):
And it's like choosing to be free learn right Like make
the mistake.
And choosing today, choosing tolisten today, and also, I think
this is really important.
What you just said is that inour inner authority it can
change.
Like I was talking to Tomyesterday and I said I'm a woman
, I reserve the right to changemy mind In this moment actually.
In this moment I want this, butif you ask me tomorrow, I might
(16:54):
not.
Jamy (16:54):
Yeah, no, we've been going to dinner heading to a
restaurant.
I'm like I don't want thatanymore.
I think I want something else.
Keri (17:01):
Right.
So I think this is also reallyimportant that our intuition and
our inner authority can change.
Yes, and just because it wasright yesterday doesn't mean
that you have to be like I'mstuck in that place.
It's like, well, no, today itwants this, no, right, today it
wants this.
And we are allowed to change,and we are allowed to change our
minds and we are allowed to,and there's nothing right and
there's nothing wrong with that.
(17:21):
You're not a bad person forthat and you're not like, oh my
God, but yesterday you said this, so now you said this today,
and now you're there's noobligation to maintain some past
version of yourself.
Jamy (17:31):
Every day you are new and that's scary right In a lot of
ways, this unknown, unknownexpression of self in a world
where it's like but I know youthrough your personality, so you
need to like be consistent, soI know who I'm talking to.
I say fuck that, like be whoyou are in this moment.
(17:51):
That's, that's authenticexpression and that's how you
understand what your inner, yourhigher self, your inner
authority, your understand whatyour inner, your higher self,
your inner authority, your, you,your voice, your soul, whatever
you want to call it is evensaying it will not make sense to
people around you all the time.
Keri (18:06):
It won't.
So, on that note, I'm curiousto like dive deeper into for a
moment what happens in life whenwe actually start to listen,
like when we actually start toreally deeply, even when we make
the mistakes, even when we messthis up.
What happens in life when westart to really listen to our
inner authority?
What do you see happen?
Jamy (18:24):
with your self-inclusion.
I call it magic, I call italignment.
So I don't know if you've everread the.
I think it's called, like thissurrender experiment or
something, but it's a good book.
He talks about how, like thereis a current of life, right,
(18:46):
like there is a current that'shappening.
It was happening before youwere born, it is going to
continue after you pass away.
And then we drop in and thinkthat we're going to like, manage
it and control it and direct itand make it work for us, versus
how do I get out of my own wayand follow the current of life?
And to me, that's what happenswhen we start to listen to our
(19:09):
inner authority.
It isn't like our mind, itisn't our preference, it isn't
what we think it should looklike.
Our deepest truth, our deepesttruth, our deepest inner knowing
will align us with life.
So we find less conflict, wefind less like.
It's almost like to me, becauseI have a.
(19:32):
I have a like aversion to rightand wrong like, but there is a
place and time for these.
But we find ourselves in lesswrong places and even if it's
uncomfortable, even if it'smessy, even if it is a quote
unquote mistake, it's not thewrong place, it's still right
for exactly what I need tounderstand and learn and
experience right now, and itteaches me something that I need
(19:56):
as a foundation for the nextthing I'm here to do, because I
definitely and I know you do toobelieve that we are not just
physical beings, that we aresource, incarnate, and we are
here to experience our uniquevibration.
And so, to me, the reason thatinner authority is so big is
(20:17):
because we actually needindividuation.
We need everybody to beoccupying their unique vibration
in order to create thebeautiful symphony that is
humanness, that is life itself,and what we have is a lot of
conformity, is a lot ofhomogenous expression that is
(20:38):
like well, this is how everybodyelse is doing it, so I'm going
to craft myself to be acceptable, even though I'm dying inside,
because I really want to sing inthis different tune.
Yeah, it's liberation, and itis like I think that if we don't
do it, we keep doing it, wekeep coming back to learn the
(20:59):
fricking lesson until we learnit, and so, just you know like,
lean in for humanity's sake,because we're interconnected in
a way too.
So it's like, as we all honorour unique expression, we are
creating a new harmony, a newreality, a new experience a new
(21:21):
vibration on this planet.
Keri (21:21):
Quite literally, yeah, exactly yeah.
I think everything you said andto add to that I would say what
happens when we live by our ownauthority is more pleasure.
Yeah, plain, and simply likeyeah, you will find more
pleasure, and like I love thatyou said magic, but more
pleasure in your life Likepleasure, yes, Not like the
surface, shit Not like, like youknow, tom asked me yesterday
(21:46):
when we were talking about likelife and pleasure and feeling
turned on, and he's like well,what turned you on?
What do you mean?
I'm like what do you mean?
What do I need to have turnedme on?
Yeah, like life turns me onRight Like yeah, everything I
don't like.
I could go and smell theflowers and the flowers, the
roses and the rose garden, andthat was right.
Jamy (22:03):
Right.
Keri (22:04):
Yeah, like because I'm so aligned to my yes and I'm doing
the things that bring me joy,because, yeah, I listened to my
heart and soul and it took.
And again, like, if you know,throughout these, you know
episodes, you'll hear it took meyears to get to this place.
Like, this isn't an overnightthing, but last year I spent a
lot of time like I tookeverything off my plate because
(22:25):
I couldn't even hear it.
You guys, when I came out ofdivorce, I could not hear my
voice and I didn't trust it tosave my soul, right.
And so I did nothing.
I just sat until there was ayes because I couldn't hear any
of it, and in those times it waslike, well, there's nothing, so
I'm just going to sit hereuntil I have a yes, until I have
a full yes.
And then, the more that I'vewalked towards my yeses, the
(22:46):
more that I'm like my life isone lit up thing after another,
and, like today, I have meetingsfrom 8.30 AM to 7 PM, which
I've not done in a long ass time.
And I look at it though, I'mlike every single one of them is
a yes.
Like I'm not busy for the sakeof busy.
I'm like I am in a fullyaligned fuck yes day, and by the
end of this day I'm like I'msure I'll be tired, but I'm
(23:07):
going to probably be so turnedon that it'll actually be hard
for me to actually wind downbecause I get to do so much that
I love yes, right.
And that's what happens when westart to say yes to our
authority and not do the thingsthat we don't really want to do,
again, remembering thatsometimes we have to do things
that are a little bit sucky, butbut it's still what we want,
it's still in alignment withwhat we want, right?
Jamy (23:28):
And so we just get to have a life of pleasure, and I do
want to note pleasure, um,collectively, is associated with
sex, um, and this, likephysicality, pleasure goes so
far beyond what we, what wenormally associate it with.
It is the sensation of feelinggood and full and alive in your
(23:50):
own body, so far beyond any likesexual connotation that we've
been fed right, like just toknow, sitting and eating a peach
or a mango can be the mostpleasurable experience.
Keri (24:02):
And, like people, when they watch me, they're like here
, you're like having mouthgasmsand I'm like yes, yes, why not?
It feels good.
I love this.
This is so pleasurable, like.
Let's enjoy it and let's stopand embrace these moments,
because that's what life is like.
What are we here for otherwise?
Jamy (24:16):
What are we here for otherwise?
What are we here for Right,exactly.
Keri (24:18):
So I know we've got to wrap this and I have one more
thing here, that's we'resupposed to say, which is around
tips, but we've just given one.
So are there any other tips thatyou would say, besides really
sitting here and being like,okay, say your yeses, listen to
them, say your no's, listen tothem, really feel into the
pleasure and allowing ourselvesto embrace these moments that
are like yes, and again,sometimes it might just be a
moment and then there might besomething else that comes up
(24:40):
that you've got to go and dealwith but like really embracing
those moments when you're inyour yes and you're in your
pleasure, and allow yourself tofeel that pleasure.
And it feels good.
Right, we are here having ahuman experience, and if you've
got to have the suck, you'regoing to have the pleasure.
We can't have one without theother, right?
And so when we're in all of it,like yes to it, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes.
What other things do you haveto think about or tips that you
(25:00):
could add in here that are waysthat we can stop outsourcing our
authority and bring ourauthority back to ourselves.
Jamy (25:09):
Well, we mentioned human design.
I think that, if you're open toit, explore that, because Reach
out to either of us, because weboth do.
It changed my parenting, itchanged my marriage.
Marriage it changed myrelationship to self, to
understand, kind of themechanics of the way my auric
field works and carries and mykids and the way we work
together, like all of thesethings are really powerful.
Um, if you're not open to that,I my biggest tip that I give
(25:34):
clients is to set aside time tojust even listen, like you said
after your divorce, like do Ieven have an inner voice?
Like what you know?
It is not normal.
It is natural.
It is our innate state.
It is not normal in today'scurrent society existence
collective kind of conditioning,society existence collective
(25:56):
kind of conditioning.
So you have to intentionally setaside time to ask, to tune in,
to start to explore your own yesand no and what it feels like
in your body, seek help, keeplistening here, because this is
a big thing for both of us andthe way we navigate life Ask
questions and then the thing Imentioned before is experiment,
(26:18):
like stop being afraid ofgetting it wrong.
You 100%, if you are livinglife in this human existence,
you will get it wrong over andover again.
There is nothing bad about that.
There is like utilize it torefine and improve.
Just accept that, yeah, likesometimes you're going to follow
and it's not going to have theoutcome that you thought, and
(26:40):
use that information.
Keri (26:42):
Yes, but do it do something right, Right.
And I will add to that, actually, because everything that you
said is a yes, yes, yes, yes,yes.
And in addition, I will say,especially coming out of
marriage, for me, um, one of thethings that I really noticed
and I've worked really, reallydiligently about over these last
few years is when we areconditioned to believe that.
(27:02):
I will say for me that mynervous system was conditioned
to believe that some reallyshitty things were love, right,
some really uncomfortable thingsand the ways that people
treated me were love, and Icannot tell you the amount of
times that Jamie would say,carrie, that's not it, Come back
, he's just this, we're love.
And I cannot tell you theamount of times that Jamie would
say, carrie, that's not it,come back, he's just this.
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
But my body and my yes was a yesto things that were not okay
(27:23):
for me, and so it took me awhile and this is really
important because, like she said, like I messed this up a lot,
right, because my body wasconditioned, my mind was
conditioned, my conditioning wasconditioned to think that
things were not good for me weregood for me, and what we have
to start to look at is okay.
Is this serving me, is this waythat my yes is coming into me,
(27:43):
serving me?
And when I started to see no,these are not okay for me, I
would sometimes literally I'dhave to come to my friends
because my inner authority wasnot being kind to me.
It was still treating me likein the conditioning of what
wasn't okay, and so we have tostart again.
This is the awareness inourselves, right, hey, this is
what my old self would have saidyes to.
(28:07):
Yes, right, honesty withyourself Like it is brutal and
it was brutal sometimes to hearmy friends tell me Carrie, like
oh, the amount of times thatCarrie has wanted to flip me off
or smack me or just completelyignore me Like damn it, fine,
okay, but what I can say is,like you know and we'll get into
probably some of those storiesbefore but there was a moment in
(28:28):
time where I knew like I knewwholeheartedly, like my body
wanted to go as a yes tosomething that was so fucking
wrong for me and I was like, butI couldn't, my body couldn't,
like.
Anytime I would come to theother side of it, I would get
more anxious, yeah, and so itwas in those moments that we had
to actually choose.
No, I'm going to reprogram thisto a new way and if we have
been designed and if we've beensorry, conditioned because we're
(28:50):
not designed to, if we've beenconditioned into suffering and
struggle, your body willcontinue to choose it because
that's what it knows is.
It's yes and it's true.
And it takes some time torewire this.
So you will mess this up andhave faith and have trust and
surround yourself with people,or work with people like Jamie
and I, who this is our work todo is literally to help you
rewire your patterning so thatyou don't do this anymore, so
(29:12):
that you can actually start torewire.
To what I said earlier today,which is, I now have a very
different view and my yes is avery different yes, and it is so
much more peaceful, it is somuch more aligned to what my
desires are, and when thoseother things that would have
come up in the past now I haveis like oh, that's a tingle.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That is now a no, not a yes,and so it's been a huge shift
(29:35):
for me, but it's work.
I messed it up a lot.
I surrounded myself with peoplewho were like Carrie, I see
your future self and I'm goingto hold you into it, because you
don't know how to do that yet.
And that's really important,because sometimes we do need
that, sometimes we do need thosepeople around me.
We are built to live incommunity.
Jamy (29:53):
We are not isolated individuals.
We are interconnected,interdependent, and that is an
important thing to acknowledge.
And I love that questionbecause it is like in a moment
the feel could be yes, but theclarifying question really is so
powerful that you offered oflike is this does this take me
to a better place?
Is this good for me?
(30:14):
Because you are going to makechoices that put you in places
that are not good for you.
And that's not the end of theworld.
You have to mess it up.
But if you can stop and ask andhonestly answer yourself, is
this really in service to me?
That's where you get to seewhat is in deeper alignment and
the nuance and the clues aboutwhere you can focus to create
(30:39):
changes, subtle changes, brief,momentary changes that add up to
create something of a newexperience, a new life, a new
reality.
Keri (30:50):
A new timeline?
Yeah, beautiful, I think.
Do you have anything else youwant to add to this?
Jamy (30:56):
No, no, I'm, I am good I love these conversations, um, I
think to just an invitation tothe audience to to ask us
questions, cause I know thatthese are deep, like nuanced,
like wait a second.
But how does this work then?
Like, bring it on, we, I'm agenerator, I love to respond to
(31:16):
things.
Does this work that?
Like, bring it on, we, I'm agenerator, I love to respond to
things.
Um, so, bring bring it.
Like it adds to theconversation, it tells Carrie
and I what we can be talkingmore deeply into and, of course,
we'll start to share ourpersonal stories and how we've
navigated real life stuff that'sbrought us to this place, and
you know, hopefully, theirexperiences that many of you can
relate to.
Keri (31:36):
So, yeah, and to add to that, like we did say, this
isn't to be done alone.
Truly, this work is not to bedone alone.
So if you're wanting support,we both have you know.
We'd love to chat with youabout supporting you as clients
and doing this on so many levelsthat both of us do this on.
So reach out to us if you'reinterested in support and
shifting this experience andreally learning your inner
(31:58):
authority, because it willcompletely, totally and utterly
change your life.
Absolutely.
Jamy (32:03):
Until next week, see you guys, if you enjoyed this show,
let us know.
We're all about authenticconnections, so come chat with
us on social media or email.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
Keri (32:15):
And please make sure to subscribe to the podcast on your
favorite platform and share themagic on your socials.
Welcome to Redefining Normal.
Join us as we questionconventional thinking and talk
about the courage it takes tocreate and live a deliciously
vibrant life.
Jamy (00:10):
This podcast is for people who know there's a better way
to do life and love how we showup in connection to others our
kids, our partners, our businessand, beyond that, our
relationship with money,vitality and, more than anything
, ourselves.
Keri (00:26):
We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to
experience the fullness of life.
Jamy (00:32):
And we're collapsing the conditioning that says you can't
live a life of pleasure, peaceand abundance in the midst of
the mundane of life,responsibilities, work and kids.
Keri (00:43):
Thank you for listening in .
Let's do this On today'sepisode of Redefining Normal.
We are talking about our innerauthority, so I want to start
this conversation by saying whatis the normal way that we show
up in life when it comes toutilizing our inner authority?
What does normally happen Inlife when it comes to utilizing
(01:05):
our inner authority?
What does normally happen solike normally, culturally?
Yeah, actually, what is innerauthority in the first place?
Let's talk about that.
Jamy (01:11):
Yeah, I mean.
Inner authority to me is mydeep inner knowing right, Like
it's the thing within me that'sguiding me through life.
It's my body, it's my soul.
It's my body, it's my soul,it's my higher self right.
It's like it's the culminationof the essence of me.
What about you?
(01:32):
What does inner authority meanto you?
Keri (01:36):
It's that, and I would say it's even that inner direction,
like our inner compass, or thething that tells us, that voice
in our head that says this iswhat you do, this is what you
don't do, our higher self, who'swho's?
Who's running the show?
Jamy (01:51):
Yeah.
So here's.
The thing, though, is that thatinner voice can often reflect
conditioning, and what you'velearned is right and wrong and
cultural stuff and all of that.
So there is this like nuancedconversation around, yeah, but
that's not right to do.
According to whom right, likewhere did we learn that?
Whose voice actually is that?
But I'm big on this topic Likethis is why I homeschooled or
(02:15):
unschooled my kids is because somuch of my own healing journey
was undoing all of these weird,dogmatic, unconscious like rules
that I was living by becausesome other authority told me
that's the way it should be, andso in my head, it was like, if
I can give my kids a connectionto what their own wisdom, their
(02:38):
own body, their own uniqueguidance says from the get go,
how amazing would that be ifthey're not having to undo all
of this in order to then findtheir own truth.
But when thinking about it, likewe're born and, of course,
we're looking to our parents forauthority, and most parents do
(02:59):
not know how to do this in a waythat isn't I know better than
you do, so just listen to me.
Right, and we're turning ourkids away from their inner
authority continually becauseprobably we're uncomfortable
with making mistakes, withpotentially painful experiences,
whatever.
So we're like no, I just knowbetter, just listen to me.
Or we like, and the one examplethat comes to mind is like when
(03:22):
parents are fighting and thenkids can see it and feel it.
We're like no, no, no, it'sfine, we're not fighting.
They can feel something andwe're telling them they're not
right.
So there's all of these littleways where we turn our littles
away from their own innerauthority and we send them to
school.
Listen to your teachers, theyknow best.
Go to work.
Listen to your boss, listen toyour government or your, you
(03:44):
know, the authorities listen toGod in religious circles and
that God is a religious God,right, not God like the God that
is you.
So think about this we areliterally from the get go
navigated away from our yes andour no, ultimately Deep inner
knowing right, Like there is athing in us that knows.
Keri (04:07):
I think it even starts and I mean, I raised my kids with
baby led weaning I think it evenstarts when we start to feed
them mashed up food that has noshape.
They have no idea what they'reeating.
And then you go, you have toeat this.
And when they spit it out andthey're at you and you're like
what if they're full?
They're at you and you're likewhat if they're full?
Well, it's not the amount thatthe doctor said you have to eat,
so I'm going to try and forcethis into your mouth.
They know they're no and wedon't trust them.
(04:27):
Yeah.
Jamy (04:28):
What if they don't like the taste of it?
There's so many like whateverthey're saying.
No, give them their no Right.
Keri (04:41):
Right, which is so like with baby led, didn't?
They didn't die, and then Ididn't have to transition them
to be like hey, you really likedthis broccoli when it was
mashed up.
Right now, you don't know whatit is Right.
And so we're actually, even inthose points, stopping our
children from understandingtheir own yes and no and not
trusting them.
And I have watched so manyparents, even from this point,
not allow a child to trust theiryes or no.
(05:02):
And I know for me and I knowboth of us have done this in our
own ways, but I know for me aswell, like I set up my house and
not only if we go, if we'regoing to deep into this like I
knew human design back whenRobbie was born, and Robbie, my
oldest one, is a manifester.
So when you understand humandesign and you sit there and you
know that you're raising amanifester, that kid is not
going to ever want to ask forpermission.
No, to ask for permission, no.
And so in order to do that likewhen you like it's a beautiful,
(05:24):
beautiful way to understandhuman like your, your inner
authority is to actuallyunderstand your design and
understand your kids' designs,because then you can actually
lead them into their own yesesand their nos and their own
strategy for their ownstrategies, and then they're
raised into that and there's nolike.
You never have to deconditionthem.
Robbie is 15 years old and he isa manifester true and true.
And I swear to God, watchinghim, at 15 years old, be a
manifester is one of the mostbeautiful things in the world,
(05:47):
because he initiates people andhe's not afraid to and he
doesn't ask.
Yet he doesn't ask permissionhalf the time, but it set up
because when he was little, Iput food in the house.
That was like if you want to goand find the food that you want
to eat, go ahead, you are youare capable to do any of this.
Jamy (06:09):
Think about that.
I mean, like I'm curious in theaudience, like how many people
are triggered by Carrie sayingmy kid does not have to ask
permission to do things likethis is a deeply conditioned.
Kids do not know.
We need to guide them.
There's a difference betweenguiding and controlling you know
, I mean like and it isuncomfortable, I get it Like
they may fall and break an arm,they may eat something that is
bad for them, they may you knowwhat I mean.
(06:30):
Like.
There is this whole range.
Keri (06:32):
And Robbie has definitely done things where he's eaten too
much sugar and he's vomited andhe hated it and he guess what
he?
Jamy (06:37):
didn't do it again.
Keri (06:39):
Right.
Jamy (06:39):
Next year at.
Keri (06:40):
Halloween.
He's like mom, I'm not doingthat again.
Jamy (06:42):
I'm like good choice then.
Say my kids I had.
They had unlimited sugar andthey were like yeah, no, thanks,
Right.
Keri (06:48):
Right, yeah, and I like I want to preface, by the way,
robbie, when I say this becauseit's a little child like there
is definitely ways that we canexpand what they're allowed to
and not allowed to do with withand without permission.
And raising a manifestor Isthis safe for you, is this safe
for others and is this safe forthe world?
This is one of my biggest rulesin my home Is this safe for you
, safe for others and safe forthe world?
If it is okay.
(07:09):
But if this is going to besomething where you're going to
leave, like I'd say to Robbie,if you need to leave the house,
you need to do something that Ineed to be informed.
This is part of understanding,being a manifest friends.
He's like mom, I want to go seethis person if he needs my
support or if it's going to besomething I need to do.
(07:29):
Mom, I really want to go andsee this friend.
I've made the plans.
Can you take me?
Are you available at this time?
What time are you available?
Can you do that?
It's not a hey, mom.
Do I have permission to go hangout with my friends?
Jamy (07:45):
ask permission.
I don't have manifestors, butmy kids also do not.
I mean that's a part of hisstrategy.
But if you don't know humandesign, if you don't appreciate
human design, this conversationgoes beyond that because, beyond
understanding your strategy andthis isn't even a parenting I
mean like it starts therebecause this is where most of us
stop recognizing our innerauthority, but it goes
throughout life.
I mean like I think about nowhow quickly we outsource to
(08:09):
science or to medical authority,but they must know what's right
.
I didn't think this was quiteright but my doctor said I
should whatever right, like howoften we see what we perceive as
experts for a very generalizedpublic and we outsource to their
opinion or to theirprofessional, educated whatever
(08:32):
they are not more educated onyou and you.
This is like a big conversationof learning to come back to
your inner knowing and this isnot an over.
None of the things we talkabout here are just these.
Overnight, all of a sudden, Ijust listened to myself.
Right, but what we're trying todo is plant seeds for these,
(08:54):
these things that we can dodifferently that create big
changes in the way we experiencelife.
Keri (09:00):
Yes.
So, for example, when I startto talk to clients about this
type of work and really startingto understand your inner
authority, one of the thingsthat I will say because I also
teach muscle testing, right,like when we can actually start
to learn muscle testing and thistype of a thing and I know you
do as well and so I'll say, like, don't try and do this like for
your big decisions in liferight away, right, but start
with like, hey, what do I wantto eat right now?
(09:22):
And listen to that.
Do I actually want thischocolate, yes or no?
No, don't eat it.
Listen to that, because thenyou're building trust, or don't.
Jamy (09:31):
And recognize the discomfort right Like.
This is how we learn.
You're going to make like I.
Have people that are like whatif I?
Keri (09:38):
do it wrong.
Jamy (09:40):
And it's like you will, you a hundred percent will, but
that's going to give youinformation on how to refine and
get it more right.
You know, like Carrie and I'vebeen doing this for years, we
still get it wrong.
We're still like oh yeah, Imisread that one.
But we don't interpret it asnegative.
We interpret it as data torefine our process, to refine
(10:03):
the communication with ourbodies, with our inner knowing,
and you do start to trust itmore.
You're like I'm.
I mean like I trust that thisis happening for a reason.
So I'm going to follow it.
Even if it blows up in my face,I'm going to learn something
from it, you know.
So this, this is a big deal,because when we are outsourcing
to others, because when we areoutsourcing to others, we are
(10:24):
not free.
Keri (10:26):
Yeah, we are limited and we are trapped, you know, in a
dynamic or a story that is notours.
I'm like, I'm like wonderingwhat other negative effects come
from outsourcing our authority.
(10:46):
I would say disease, dis-easein our bodies, disharmony in our
relationships.
Jamy (10:52):
I'm thinking about how many people are in marriages,
are parenting, are in schools,are in what in some place in
their life that they do not?
How many of you listening arelike I am in my job because I
went to college because at 18,somebody my parents or teacher,
somebody told me I need todecide what I want to do.
Forever, got a degree, got thejob.
(11:13):
I fucking hate it.
Like I have no joy in what I'mdoing.
I actually want to be an artist.
I actually want to.
I skate, I want to.
It is Right.
Like, how many people are in astory that is not theirs?
Right, because they listen tosomebody else's authority, right
?
Keri (11:33):
And oftentimes it is like it is the conditioning from the
teachers, the parents, the worldprior to having anything to do
with us.
Yeah, yeah, like it'sinteresting, because when I had
my tooth pulled a few weeks ago,this tooth, this tooth was
related to intuition and I waslike I don't get it.
I listened to my intuition allthe time, like I live my life by
(11:56):
intuition.
Why would I want to pull myintuition?
Why would I want to pull atooth by my intuition?
And when I really sat with itfor a moment and I think this is
like a huge moment here in thisinner authority it was like
actually, carrie, you knew yearsbefore you separated and
divorced your husband by the way, we're almost done with divorce
, we're going to have to have aparty and a celebration on here,
right.
But you knew years prior, yearsprior, that this was not the
(12:23):
right person anymore for you andI didn't listen and I didn't
listen to my inner authority andI made it because the world
says I'm supposed to have itthis way and how am I going to
do it otherwise?
And I'm not safe enough.
And really the voice in my mindwas I can't survive without a
man and I am, I am, I'm notsuccessful if I don't have a man
by my side, right, and thoseinner voices that were so deep
(12:44):
underneath me were bypassing myown inner authority and I ended
up in a marriage that I lookback and I'm like man.
That was a lot of years in mylife that I went like, huh, that
sucked, I'll embrace that suck,right, right.
And I had to go through thegrieving process, because I did
have a grieving process ofthinking, wow, I wasted so many
(13:06):
years of my life, I'm not thereanymore.
I think everything isabsolutely fucking divinely
timed and perfect and I'mgrateful for every moment of
everything that happened to getme to this place.
But, yes and yes, and I did notlisten to my inner authority,
and I know, I'm sure I'm surethere are some of you out there
listening right now who are inthe same exact place, wondering,
wondering, like my innerauthority says get the fuck out.
(13:30):
Where is it saying to you Getthe fuck out?
Is it your job or the?
Jamy (13:34):
flip side of stay.
Work this out Right.
Everything in your mind is likeno, fuck this, I don't want to
do it anymore.
It's so subtle and it's abouttrusting the next action, right?
Yes, it can't be.
I'm going to do this nowbecause, 15 years down the road,
it's like in this moment whatis true for me.
(13:58):
And practice listening to it,even if it blows up in your face
.
Just listening.
Keri (14:06):
Yeah, actually, I think I think what's really cool
actually about what you said isthat in like what I said about
get out, and I want to honor you, jamie, because what you did
both of us like we've said thisbefore, but both of us came to
this place in our marriageswhere we're both like this
doesn't feel good anymore.
Yeah, and what I really loveand honor about what you did,
jamie, is that yours was stayand change it.
(14:28):
And how can we open things to away that makes me happy in here
, right?
And so you've also had thingsthat have happened in your
marriage that are outside thebox, that the world would say,
no, that's fucked up, you're notallowed to do.
That you guys couldn't possiblydo what you've done.
You couldn't possibly, you know, and you did.
(14:49):
And because you did and becauseyou listened to the inner
authority when the world saidthis would be a crazy ass idea,
when even your own heart andsoul was like I don't know how
this is going to go, I don'tknow if this is going to work, I
don't know if I'm going to likeit.
He doesn't know if he's goingto like it, we don't know if
we're going to end up together,but you both listened and you
dug in and you went.
You know what my, my higherself, myself, says this is the
(15:10):
way for right now.
Yeah, in this moment.
Jamy (15:13):
this is what it is, yeah.
Keri (15:15):
And so I think it is really important to bring that
to.
Like I said, it was the rightthing to end, but it might be
the right thing to stay andcompletely remove a box and go.
How can we do this in adifferent box?
Jamy (15:24):
Yeah, and it is not.
Has nothing to do with, um,like, I don't stay for 20 years
down the road.
I don't stay because I wantthis future thing.
It's like in this moment, whatdoes my inner authority say?
And that's what I listened to,cause I think it's so easy to
(15:45):
create a future story staying ornot staying, doing the thing,
quitting the job, whatever it isright.
It's like that that decisionhinges on all these things that
could or could not be createdfrom.
It has nothing to do with thosethings.
It has to do with the momentright now.
And what is it?
And learning, like I have tofully acknowledge, I don't
(16:07):
always hear my own innerauthority correctly.
I am much better at it than Iwas a decade ago, but this is
the human experience.
I'm continually learning andthere is no.
This is another episode.
Actually is like reframingmistakes and understanding what
they are, but there are nomistakes, right, it's all data,
(16:29):
it's all learning.
Keri (16:30):
And it's like choosing to be free learn right Like make
the mistake.
And choosing today, choosing tolisten today, and also, I think
this is really important.
What you just said is that inour inner authority it can
change.
Like I was talking to Tomyesterday and I said I'm a woman
, I reserve the right to changemy mind In this moment actually.
In this moment I want this, butif you ask me tomorrow, I might
(16:54):
not.
Jamy (16:54):
Yeah, no, we've been going to dinner heading to a
restaurant.
I'm like I don't want thatanymore.
I think I want something else.
Keri (17:01):
Right.
So I think this is also reallyimportant that our intuition and
our inner authority can change.
Yes, and just because it wasright yesterday doesn't mean
that you have to be like I'mstuck in that place.
It's like, well, no, today itwants this, no, right, today it
wants this.
And we are allowed to change,and we are allowed to change our
minds and we are allowed to,and there's nothing right and
there's nothing wrong with that.
(17:21):
You're not a bad person forthat and you're not like, oh my
God, but yesterday you said this, so now you said this today,
and now you're there's noobligation to maintain some past
version of yourself.
Jamy (17:31):
Every day you are new and that's scary right In a lot of
ways, this unknown, unknownexpression of self in a world
where it's like but I know youthrough your personality, so you
need to like be consistent, soI know who I'm talking to.
I say fuck that, like be whoyou are in this moment.
(17:51):
That's, that's authenticexpression and that's how you
understand what your inner, yourhigher self, your inner
authority, your understand whatyour inner, your higher self,
your inner authority, your, you,your voice, your soul, whatever
you want to call it is evensaying it will not make sense to
people around you all the time.
Keri (18:06):
It won't.
So, on that note, I'm curiousto like dive deeper into for a
moment what happens in life whenwe actually start to listen,
like when we actually start toreally deeply, even when we make
the mistakes, even when we messthis up.
What happens in life when westart to really listen to our
inner authority?
What do you see happen?
Jamy (18:24):
with your self-inclusion.
I call it magic, I call italignment.
So I don't know if you've everread the.
I think it's called, like thissurrender experiment or
something, but it's a good book.
He talks about how, like thereis a current of life, right,
(18:46):
like there is a current that'shappening.
It was happening before youwere born, it is going to
continue after you pass away.
And then we drop in and thinkthat we're going to like, manage
it and control it and direct itand make it work for us, versus
how do I get out of my own wayand follow the current of life?
And to me, that's what happenswhen we start to listen to our
(19:09):
inner authority.
It isn't like our mind, itisn't our preference, it isn't
what we think it should looklike.
Our deepest truth, our deepesttruth, our deepest inner knowing
will align us with life.
So we find less conflict, wefind less like.
It's almost like to me, becauseI have a.
(19:32):
I have a like aversion to rightand wrong like, but there is a
place and time for these.
But we find ourselves in lesswrong places and even if it's
uncomfortable, even if it'smessy, even if it is a quote
unquote mistake, it's not thewrong place, it's still right
for exactly what I need tounderstand and learn and
experience right now, and itteaches me something that I need
(19:56):
as a foundation for the nextthing I'm here to do, because I
definitely and I know you do toobelieve that we are not just
physical beings, that we aresource, incarnate, and we are
here to experience our uniquevibration.
And so, to me, the reason thatinner authority is so big is
(20:17):
because we actually needindividuation.
We need everybody to beoccupying their unique vibration
in order to create thebeautiful symphony that is
humanness, that is life itself,and what we have is a lot of
conformity, is a lot ofhomogenous expression that is
(20:38):
like well, this is how everybodyelse is doing it, so I'm going
to craft myself to be acceptable, even though I'm dying inside,
because I really want to sing inthis different tune.
Yeah, it's liberation, and itis like I think that if we don't
do it, we keep doing it, wekeep coming back to learn the
(20:59):
fricking lesson until we learnit, and so, just you know like,
lean in for humanity's sake,because we're interconnected in
a way too.
So it's like, as we all honorour unique expression, we are
creating a new harmony, a newreality, a new experience a new
(21:21):
vibration on this planet.
Keri (21:21):
Quite literally, yeah, exactly yeah.
I think everything you said andto add to that I would say what
happens when we live by our ownauthority is more pleasure.
Yeah, plain, and simply likeyeah, you will find more
pleasure, and like I love thatyou said magic, but more
pleasure in your life Likepleasure, yes, Not like the
surface, shit Not like, like youknow, tom asked me yesterday
(21:46):
when we were talking about likelife and pleasure and feeling
turned on, and he's like well,what turned you on?
What do you mean?
I'm like what do you mean?
What do I need to have turnedme on?
Yeah, like life turns me onRight Like yeah, everything I
don't like.
I could go and smell theflowers and the flowers, the
roses and the rose garden, andthat was right.
Jamy (22:03):
Right.
Keri (22:04):
Yeah, like because I'm so aligned to my yes and I'm doing
the things that bring me joy,because, yeah, I listened to my
heart and soul and it took.
And again, like, if you know,throughout these, you know
episodes, you'll hear it took meyears to get to this place.
Like, this isn't an overnightthing, but last year I spent a
lot of time like I tookeverything off my plate because
(22:25):
I couldn't even hear it.
You guys, when I came out ofdivorce, I could not hear my
voice and I didn't trust it tosave my soul, right.
And so I did nothing.
I just sat until there was ayes because I couldn't hear any
of it, and in those times it waslike, well, there's nothing, so
I'm just going to sit hereuntil I have a yes, until I have
a full yes.
And then, the more that I'vewalked towards my yeses, the
(22:46):
more that I'm like my life isone lit up thing after another,
and, like today, I have meetingsfrom 8.30 AM to 7 PM, which
I've not done in a long ass time.
And I look at it though, I'mlike every single one of them is
a yes.
Like I'm not busy for the sakeof busy.
I'm like I am in a fullyaligned fuck yes day, and by the
end of this day I'm like I'msure I'll be tired, but I'm
(23:07):
going to probably be so turnedon that it'll actually be hard
for me to actually wind downbecause I get to do so much that
I love yes, right.
And that's what happens when westart to say yes to our
authority and not do the thingsthat we don't really want to do,
again, remembering thatsometimes we have to do things
that are a little bit sucky, butbut it's still what we want,
it's still in alignment withwhat we want, right?
Jamy (23:28):
And so we just get to have a life of pleasure, and I do
want to note pleasure, um,collectively, is associated with
sex, um, and this, likephysicality, pleasure goes so
far beyond what we, what wenormally associate it with.
It is the sensation of feelinggood and full and alive in your
(23:50):
own body, so far beyond any likesexual connotation that we've
been fed right, like just toknow, sitting and eating a peach
or a mango can be the mostpleasurable experience.
Keri (24:02):
And, like people, when they watch me, they're like here
, you're like having mouthgasmsand I'm like yes, yes, why not?
It feels good.
I love this.
This is so pleasurable, like.
Let's enjoy it and let's stopand embrace these moments,
because that's what life is like.
What are we here for otherwise?
Jamy (24:16):
What are we here for otherwise?
What are we here for Right,exactly.
Keri (24:18):
So I know we've got to wrap this and I have one more
thing here, that's we'resupposed to say, which is around
tips, but we've just given one.
So are there any other tips thatyou would say, besides really
sitting here and being like,okay, say your yeses, listen to
them, say your no's, listen tothem, really feel into the
pleasure and allowing ourselvesto embrace these moments that
are like yes, and again,sometimes it might just be a
moment and then there might besomething else that comes up
(24:40):
that you've got to go and dealwith but like really embracing
those moments when you're inyour yes and you're in your
pleasure, and allow yourself tofeel that pleasure.
And it feels good.
Right, we are here having ahuman experience, and if you've
got to have the suck, you'regoing to have the pleasure.
We can't have one without theother, right?
And so when we're in all of it,like yes to it, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes.
What other things do you haveto think about or tips that you
(25:00):
could add in here that are waysthat we can stop outsourcing our
authority and bring ourauthority back to ourselves.
Jamy (25:09):
Well, we mentioned human design.
I think that, if you're open toit, explore that, because Reach
out to either of us, because weboth do.
It changed my parenting, itchanged my marriage.
Marriage it changed myrelationship to self, to
understand, kind of themechanics of the way my auric
field works and carries and mykids and the way we work
together, like all of thesethings are really powerful.
Um, if you're not open to that,I my biggest tip that I give
(25:34):
clients is to set aside time tojust even listen, like you said
after your divorce, like do Ieven have an inner voice?
Like what you know?
It is not normal.
It is natural.
It is our innate state.
It is not normal in today'scurrent society existence
collective kind of conditioning,society existence collective
(25:56):
kind of conditioning.
So you have to intentionally setaside time to ask, to tune in,
to start to explore your own yesand no and what it feels like
in your body, seek help, keeplistening here, because this is
a big thing for both of us andthe way we navigate life Ask
questions and then the thing Imentioned before is experiment,
(26:18):
like stop being afraid ofgetting it wrong.
You 100%, if you are livinglife in this human existence,
you will get it wrong over andover again.
There is nothing bad about that.
There is like utilize it torefine and improve.
Just accept that, yeah, likesometimes you're going to follow
and it's not going to have theoutcome that you thought, and
(26:40):
use that information.
Keri (26:42):
Yes, but do it do something right, Right.
And I will add to that, actually, because everything that you
said is a yes, yes, yes, yes,yes.
And in addition, I will say,especially coming out of
marriage, for me, um, one of thethings that I really noticed
and I've worked really, reallydiligently about over these last
few years is when we areconditioned to believe that.
(27:02):
I will say for me that mynervous system was conditioned
to believe that some reallyshitty things were love, right,
some really uncomfortable thingsand the ways that people
treated me were love, and Icannot tell you the amount of
times that Jamie would say,carrie, that's not it, Come back
, he's just this, we're love.
And I cannot tell you theamount of times that Jamie would
say, carrie, that's not it,come back, he's just this.
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
But my body and my yes was a yesto things that were not okay
(27:23):
for me, and so it took me awhile and this is really
important because, like she said, like I messed this up a lot,
right, because my body wasconditioned, my mind was
conditioned, my conditioning wasconditioned to think that
things were not good for me weregood for me, and what we have
to start to look at is okay.
Is this serving me, is this waythat my yes is coming into me,
(27:43):
serving me?
And when I started to see no,these are not okay for me, I
would sometimes literally I'dhave to come to my friends
because my inner authority wasnot being kind to me.
It was still treating me likein the conditioning of what
wasn't okay, and so we have tostart again.
This is the awareness inourselves, right, hey, this is
what my old self would have saidyes to.
(28:07):
Yes, right, honesty withyourself Like it is brutal and
it was brutal sometimes to hearmy friends tell me Carrie, like
oh, the amount of times thatCarrie has wanted to flip me off
or smack me or just completelyignore me Like damn it, fine,
okay, but what I can say is,like you know and we'll get into
probably some of those storiesbefore but there was a moment in
(28:28):
time where I knew like I knewwholeheartedly, like my body
wanted to go as a yes tosomething that was so fucking
wrong for me and I was like, butI couldn't, my body couldn't,
like.
Anytime I would come to theother side of it, I would get
more anxious, yeah, and so itwas in those moments that we had
to actually choose.
No, I'm going to reprogram thisto a new way and if we have
been designed and if we've beensorry, conditioned because we're
(28:50):
not designed to, if we've beenconditioned into suffering and
struggle, your body willcontinue to choose it because
that's what it knows is.
It's yes and it's true.
And it takes some time torewire this.
So you will mess this up andhave faith and have trust and
surround yourself with people,or work with people like Jamie
and I, who this is our work todo is literally to help you
rewire your patterning so thatyou don't do this anymore, so
(29:12):
that you can actually start torewire.
To what I said earlier today,which is, I now have a very
different view and my yes is avery different yes, and it is so
much more peaceful, it is somuch more aligned to what my
desires are, and when thoseother things that would have
come up in the past now I haveis like oh, that's a tingle.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That is now a no, not a yes,and so it's been a huge shift
(29:35):
for me, but it's work.
I messed it up a lot.
I surrounded myself with peoplewho were like Carrie, I see
your future self and I'm goingto hold you into it, because you
don't know how to do that yet.
And that's really important,because sometimes we do need
that, sometimes we do need thosepeople around me.
We are built to live incommunity.
Jamy (29:53):
We are not isolated individuals.
We are interconnected,interdependent, and that is an
important thing to acknowledge.
And I love that questionbecause it is like in a moment
the feel could be yes, but theclarifying question really is so
powerful that you offered oflike is this does this take me
to a better place?
Is this good for me?
(30:14):
Because you are going to makechoices that put you in places
that are not good for you.
And that's not the end of theworld.
You have to mess it up.
But if you can stop and ask andhonestly answer yourself, is
this really in service to me?
That's where you get to seewhat is in deeper alignment and
the nuance and the clues aboutwhere you can focus to create
(30:39):
changes, subtle changes, brief,momentary changes that add up to
create something of a newexperience, a new life, a new
reality.
Keri (30:50):
A new timeline?
Yeah, beautiful, I think.
Do you have anything else youwant to add to this?
Jamy (30:56):
No, no, I'm, I am good I love these conversations, um, I
think to just an invitation tothe audience to to ask us
questions, cause I know thatthese are deep, like nuanced,
like wait a second.
But how does this work then?
Like, bring it on, we, I'm agenerator, I love to respond to
(31:16):
things.
Does this work that?
Like, bring it on, we, I'm agenerator, I love to respond to
things.
Um, so, bring bring it.
Like it adds to theconversation, it tells Carrie
and I what we can be talkingmore deeply into and, of course,
we'll start to share ourpersonal stories and how we've
navigated real life stuff that'sbrought us to this place, and
you know, hopefully, theirexperiences that many of you can
relate to.
Keri (31:36):
So, yeah, and to add to that, like we did say, this
isn't to be done alone.
Truly, this work is not to bedone alone.
So if you're wanting support,we both have you know.
We'd love to chat with youabout supporting you as clients
and doing this on so many levelsthat both of us do this on.
So reach out to us if you'reinterested in support and
shifting this experience andreally learning your inner
(31:58):
authority, because it willcompletely, totally and utterly
change your life.
Absolutely.
Jamy (32:03):
Until next week, see you guys, if you enjoyed this show,
let us know.
We're all about authenticconnections, so come chat with
us on social media or email.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
Keri (32:15):
And please make sure to subscribe to the podcast on your
favorite platform and share themagic on your socials.
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