September 24, 2024 • 31 mins
Ever catch yourself fantasizing about "what could have been" even when everything seems perfect? Join us this week on Redefining Normal as Jamie and I uncover why our minds drift into these "what if" scenarios and how they steal joy from our present moments. Through a recent personal story about selling a house, we'll illustrate how even the best outcomes can lead to unnecessary mental wanderings. We'll discuss how this mindset impacts every facet of life—from relationships and parenting to business goals—and share strategies for balancing future aspirations with a peaceful appreciation of the present.
Explore the delicate balance between contentment and the desire for change with us. We emphasize the importance of internal alignment, gratitude, and the courage to make necessary changes when something isn’t serving us. We'll also dive into the transformative power of shifting your inner dialogue. Learn how changing your mindset can bring about profound peace and contentment, even if your external circumstances remain the same. Packed with personal anecdotes and practical affirmations, this episode is your guide to cultivating a more serene and abundant life.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Redefining Normal.
Join us as we questionconventional thinking and talk
about the courage it takes tocreate and live a deliciously
vibrant life.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
This podcast is for people who know there's a better
way to do life and love how weshow up in connection to others
our kids, our partners, ourbusiness and, beyond that, our
relationship with money,vitality and, more than anything
, ourselves.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to
experience the fullness of life.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
And we're collapsing the conditioning that says you
can't live a life of pleasure,peace and abundance in the midst
of the mundane of life,responsibilities, work and kids.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Are you ready?
Let's do this.
This week, Jamie and I aregoing to drop into a
conversation around contentment,which doesn't sound very
exciting, but I promise you willchange your life.
And what was the other thing?
We were just saying?
What?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
were we just talking about the grass being greener?
The?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
grass being greener, that's right.
The grass being greener on theother side, yeah, so go ahead,
jamie.
What do you want to?
How do you want to start this?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah.
So this has been playing a lotfor me lately the mind's
tendency to play in fantasy andlike what, if, what could be,
which really is not real.
It's just ideas.
I have an open head and Ajna,and so ideas come in and out of
me a lot and I'm starting torecognize how that plays out in
my contentness.
The thing that highlighted thisfor me is we recently sold our
(01:35):
house.
We set a price and we put it onthe market within 20 hours.
We had a full offer, sale,quick closing, very few
contingencies, everything wewanted, everything we wanted,
and immediately it was like oh,should we have priced it higher?
(01:56):
Should we have waited?
What if a better offer came?
In All these imaginary scenariosthat do not exist, they're all
fantasy, they're all pretend.
Things started playing and thena guy, like a week later, drove
by the house and he's like it'salready sold.
Oh my gosh, how much I wasinterested, you know, and I was
like again could we have mademore money?
Could we have?
You know?
(02:16):
It was like wow, how quicklythe mind could pull me out of
deep contentment for theuniverse, literally saying yes
to everything I asked for, and Icouldn't just sit with
contentment with that you know,it was like to just be super
grateful to have had every,every checkbox, every checkbox
(02:40):
met right, and how easily it wasto get pulled into this.
The grass is greener in, ofcourse it is.
In fantasy land that doesn'texist, that's all imaginary, the
grass can be greener, butlooking at where it pulls us out
of deep contentment for what isand our capacity to just be
(03:01):
with what is, you know, likewhat is right in front of us,
what is real, and how oftenwe're not responding to that
because we're playing in mental,intellectual potential versus
probability of the now and thenrelationships.
(03:21):
We see this all the time andparenting and business and life
in general, right, like we soquickly want to I don't know
play in the idea of what couldhave been, what could be, versus
what is life showing me rightnow.
(03:42):
What is life showing me rightnow?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
How do I be content and grateful for all of the
gifts in this moment?
It's interesting.
Something I really started toadd on to this, something I
started thinking about a coupleof years ago, was around goal
setting and putting ourselvesout into the future vision,
right, and having this goal thatin a year's time I'm going to
have this, in five years timeI'm going to have this, dah, dah
, dah.
And then we put this uh, itfeels like a rubber band,
(04:14):
tension between where we are nowto where that is, and there's a
constant need to hold thistension that ultimately creates
anxiety in my body.
This is what I started to payattention to.
It was like the further out Iwould want to put a goal and the
more that I would attach to orwant that or think about that or
have to move towards that, themore tension there has been in
(04:35):
my body.
Now I say this, you guys, as aperson who teaches money,
manifestation things and wealthclearing and wealth
consciousness like, of course,we're going to put out into the
future what we fricking want,right?
So I'm not saying to you not toactually have a goal or a dream
or a vision, but what I startedto pay attention to was how far
like the space between it, howwe can play with that, and
(04:58):
sometimes it's just like, okay,I'm going to put that out there
for me now.
It's like, okay, I know, thisis what I'm working towards.
It's out there somewhere,there's no attachment.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It brings us back to that attachment as well.
Like this is the vision, butI'm not attached to it looking
any certain way.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Because it can't, we have no idea.
Like it could be even so muchbetter, right.
So I go this or somethingbetter, right?
So there's this thing that I'mworking towards, right, like
there's the action that I needto do now, what is in my present
moment here, and then come backto this present space.
And as long as we keep tickinginto these spaces where we're
taking action and being presentinto this moment, then we don't
(05:35):
we don't have to hold thatrubber band right, that rubber
band tension, and it's so muchnicer to our nervous system and
I think it's a really fine line.
But I think this is ultimatelycontentment, right?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
right.
This is as you're saying this.
I'm recognizing the differencebetween be playing in fantasy
from a place of lack, like whatdon't I have, what didn't I get,
what could I have had more of.
It's from this like lack place,versus from a place of
contentment and expanding intomore, because we are always
(06:10):
going to look to the future andwe are creating with our fantasy
, like we are telling theuniverse what we want.
But if we're holdingcontentment for what is and
acceptance of what is, thatpathway is clear versus what
could have been I don't have it.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
It's not here, yeah yeah because then ultimately
we're sending that signal intothe, into the world I don't have
it, it's not here yet.
And, like you, look at yourlife and ultimately you probably
have so much more than youthink and again that creates a
disconnect because you'retelling the universe I don't
even have what I want, it'snever going to.
I don't even have what I want,it's never going to be enough.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, versus, I have everything I want and I will
come more.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
And if you even think about this, this is something
really interesting to thinkabout.
If you think about this, likewhere you are sitting in this
moment, at some point in timeyou probably dreamed of this.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah Right, maybe five years ago, not even in your
wildest dreams, this is beyondwhat you dream, right, right,
right.
Even if and I'm going to saylook, even in this part here, I
didn't dream to be divorced,that's for sure, yeah, right.
So beyond my dreams, yes, waybeyond your dreams, but way
better, yeah, right.
Like I'm sad that I'm notmarried, I will always have a
(07:22):
grief in my heart that I'm, thatI don't get to have that
experience of, like lifeexperience, raising our kids
together, all these things, yeah.
But also my life is so muchbetter, right, and his too, and
my kids too, right, yeah, yeah.
So we can't know, and so Ithink it's a really interesting
thing to really just payattention to that.
Yeah, really having gratitudefor being in the I am here,
(07:48):
where I created and this dream,because maybe not at the
beginning of my marriage, butcertainly at the end of my
marriage, I dreamed to be here,that's damn sure, right.
And now I can sit here in suchgratitude that even after
heartbreak, I am still sofreaking grateful for the love,
I'm so grateful for how muchthat shared with me, I'm so
grateful in this moment that, oh, my God, look at all these
(08:09):
other things that are here tomove on from.
Yeah Right, like we can sit inthese moments, even in the even,
like I mean truly you guys whenheartbreak, when this shock
happened.
Jamie was the first person Ireached out to and I think the
third sentence that she said tome was Carrie, what amazing
thing is going to come from theshock?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right.
So even in the moment when Iwas like crushed to the
crushedness of crushed, I couldsit there and have gratitude.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah and you can.
You can hold both like this isthe paradox of being human.
It doesn't have to be one orthe other.
No, you can be completelydevastated and still recognize
something beautiful is seatinghere, you know, know, I think
that it really does stem fromthe internal state of where you
(08:55):
know where you're at.
Have you ever seen a guy thatit's, you know, like a meme or
something that I just saw onsocial media?
I've seen it before, though, soI'm curious if you've seen it.
But a guy talks about you know,if you're ever sick of your girl
and she's frustrated, annoyingand whatever you're frustrated.
If you're ever sick of yourgirl and she's frustrated,
annoying and whatever you'refrustrated with her, take her
picture and make a Tinderprofile, and he was like I put
(09:16):
her picture out there and shehad, you know, like 300, 300
dudes.
Like what, wait a second.
Now I'm competing with 300dudes, all these guys would love
to be with her.
And here I am complaining, andthen, like it kept updating and
he's like, now she's at like2000, now she's.
He's like, oh my gosh, I've gotto protect this.
I'm gonna, like, make herdinner and massage her feet and,
(09:37):
you know, like all of thisstuff.
So it's like you have to begrateful for where you're at,
not not looking for somethingbetter to replace what you
already have created, likewanting to not be here, to be
somewhere else versus beingfully here and expanding into
whatever comes next.
(09:58):
And they are very differentfrequencies very different, very
different frequencies.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Also, I'm going to say as a side to that piece that
jamie said you, you know likeyou can be here and move and
open to expand.
But truly I'm also going togive permission here that if
this is the wrong thing, ifsomething in your life is not,
if you're not content, yes, orthe opposite of content, yes.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
If you're being honest with yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
And it's not right for you.
Get the fuck out.
Yeah, whatever the thing is.
Yeah, whatever the thing is,yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Like, don't worry, that's an equally difficult
conversation to have to be superhonest with yourself that this,
this familiar, comfortableplace is not serving me.
Yes, to uproot all of that isas equally as challenging as
being deeply content with whereyou're at and not trying to be
somewhere else.
Right, this is the paradox ofbeing human, and they're both
(10:49):
true and they both exist,oftentimes with the same fucking
people and the situations andthe same dynamics yeah, totally
yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
And I think the other thing if we add into here
because you wanted to talk about, grass is greener and something
we were talking about before wegot on the call around grass is
greener on the other side,which also comes back to
contentment, right, like that wecan be.
And we were talking aboutrelationships and I was actually
saying how I was listening tosome married people talk about
the, the conversation aroundfinances in relationship, and it
was, you know, like there wasnothing bad about any of it.
(11:22):
It was a very normal, normalconversations that humans have
to have when they're inrelationships.
And I said to Jamie Jamie, Ihaven't had to have that, like
it's weird to think about havingthat conversation Right, and
and I was like, huh, I kind oflike the singleness of it.
And then I was like no, no, Idon't actually, because actually
I crave having someone to work,to do life with, yeah, and
(11:45):
that's going to mean thatfinancially, we're going to be
doing things together, whichmeans we need to know about each
other's finances, which meanswe need to have these
conversations Right, exactly.
And so it's really interestingbecause, like, we can sit here
even in and I hear this all thetime with couples, right?
Oh my God, it's so good to besingle.
Look at you.
You have so much freedom.
I'm like, oh my God, you knowhow nice it is that you get to
(12:06):
go home at the end of the dayand talk to your partner.
The grass is always greener.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
The thing that you don't have to functionally deal
with always looks moreattractive.
But every reality has itschallenges and its blessings,
and when you can consider all ofit as the whole and not tired
of the challenges withoutremembering the beauty in those
same challenges, you know likethey are two sides of the same
(12:28):
coin.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Those same challenges , you know like they are two
sides of the same coin, I think,and I think the importance of
this, because you know, I thinkthis is I think it's a really
important thing for people toactually get for the reason of
that, when you can come into thespace of contentment again, you
know, throughout all of theseconversations we're having,
we're talking about vibrationright and actually being able to
, as Jamie said, open to thatwhich we want to receive, which
(12:50):
is very different than beingneedy and clingy If you go to
our last conversation onattachment right, having needy
clinginess that needs to be likeI need to have it this way,
right and then, from that space,when we're content, like our
energetic field which is why Iwas having that conversation
with Jamie before, because Iknow my energy right now is is
feeling a lot in my body Right,and so this has been my journey
(13:13):
to actually calm this down,because I know that when I do,
because I am a far morecomfortable in my own body, but
it also means that my frequencyto that which I desire is far
more aligned.
And it's really important tohave this awareness because when
we up-level, when we shiftthrough different paradigms and
different dynamics, when we havethese shocks, when we have
(13:34):
these conversations with ourpartners, when these things and
we get dysregulated, oftentimesthere's something that can be
gained out of it.
Oftentimes it's because we'veshell, we've opened something
that we didn't know existed, orwe've had a trigger come up, or
that we've had something thatwe've had to touch that we
didn't touch before, didn't knowexisted, or we've had a trigger
come up, or we've had somethingthat we've had to touch that we
didn't touch before.
And if we ignore it, then itonly like we end up in, probably
, resentment, anger, bitterness,blah, blah, blah, which are low
(13:56):
vibration energies, anxiety,all these different things which
are low vibration energies.
And well, anxiety isn't a lowvibration.
It is a vibration and it willtake you further from what you
desire.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yep, and think about how this ripples into your life.
I mean, we are energetic beings, we are frequency, and so if
I'm operating in frustration oranger or you know whatever, the,
the not self is and and that'sgonna impact all of the people
around me in the way thatthey're relating to me as well,
(14:34):
so it just continues to createresonance with the thing that
I'm feeling, versus when I takeresponsibility for my
satisfaction, for your peace,for projector success, for
projector success.
You know, it's like when wetake responsibility for that
vibration within ourselves, itripples into the world in
service to the people closest tous and even, you know, an
(14:57):
extension of us beyond whoever'sclosest to us.
Like I just shared on Facebooktoday.
Actually, I had no idea that,following my satisfaction, um,
and that sacral, sell the houseand move out to the country and
ignoring the minds like but whatabout?
But wait a second and figuringout of the details, it was like
none of that matters.
(15:17):
Do this thing right now that itwould lead to Rumi finding her
satisfaction here, like itwasn't.
It wasn't.
That wasn't a part of theequation initially, but because
I followed my satisfaction, itled to more of that in the
people around me.
So we ended up moving into avalley which is Rumi's
(15:39):
environment and human design,and to watch a different child
operate like clarity andcuriosity and excitement about
things in a short amount of time, it's like holy, holy shit,
like I had no idea.
It was so kind of baselinenormal that I didn't even know
(16:01):
that it wasn't healthy until wegot out here and I'm like, oh my
gosh, this is what you should,this is where she should be
operating.
And that happened because I wasfocused on my satisfaction and
following my sacral response.
And so it's like thisrecognition that we are
responsible for our alignmentand trusting that it's going to
(16:25):
create beautiful ripples in theworld and the people around us,
and that doesn't happen whenwe're wishing we were somewhere
else.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Mm.
Uh-oh, right, Uh-oh.
I think that I think.
On top of that, I'd like to addas well that one of the things
that I feel that's important inthis as well is that if we don't
come to contentness inourselves and where we are in
our lives, we're actuallytelling the universe that it's
not enough and that we're notenough, and that it, like it
(16:56):
doesn't matter what you give me,it's never enough.
Yeah, so it will stop giving toyou.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Yeah, cause even when you said, if this isn't an
alignment for you, make a change.
But you can't even become clearon that, if you're always
wishing it was something else,in order to get the clarity of
what is right for me, you haveto be an acceptance of what is
it, of where you're at now, likea surrender to the what is in
(17:20):
order to know what would bebetter.
But if you're always like I'mjust going to avoid this and I'm
going to hope and wish forsomething different, you're not.
You're not creating an openingfor real change to get you to
the right place, cause even ifyou leave this and go to
something else, you're stillavoiding what is, and so you're
going to end up in anothersituation that just reflects the
(17:41):
same dynamic.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, and you're actually avoiding yourself,
right?
If you can't find thecontentment in yourself or get
rid of the things that are notserving you, then you're
avoiding something in yourselfand running from a pattern in
yourself that is keeping youtrapped on the hamster wheel.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, it's just not.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
And if you want to get off that jet that's what
Jamie and I do, by the way yeah,get off that damn hamster wheel
.
You want to talk about moneystuff?
Talk to me.
And talk about parenting stuff?
Talk to Jamie, and it is.
It's really it's like you know,the work that we do in our, in
our groups and with our, withour own one-on-one work with
people.
This is ultimately how we helpeach help people is to come into
themselves and and see theirpatterns and be able to make
(18:20):
changes so that they can becontent and all relationships
start here.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Like all relationships start with your
relationship to self.
Whether it's money or a partneror kids or whatever the change
it's, it has to happen in you.
You can't change all the otherthings without starting right
here at home.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
So I always think it's fascinating when I look at,
when I watch clients and Ioften say to people you don't
have to make massive changes inyour life to actually change
your state Right, and a lot ofpeople might come feeling really
unhappy about something, butit's like you can still be in
the same exact position of yourlife, like I'm, have the same
job, the same parents, the samehusband or wife or kids or
(19:01):
whatever friends circle.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
All that stuff can stay the same and it's amazing
how much it will change when youactually change your inner
dialogue with yourself and youcome to this contentment, when
you can come to this place of umtruly finding peace in life
yeah, it's like when you takecharge of the narrative, because
the mind will run some bullshitstories, fuck yeah, um, but if
(19:23):
you, if you begin to be incharge of the narrative, the
inner narrative, yeah, all theexternal stuff can be exactly
the same, but the storyinternally flips and it's a
completely different experienceand it might mean, and it might
mean, people do leave your life,I mean, and it's okay, yeah,
right and that's okay, it's likeyeah, it feels if I mean I'm
(19:46):
like I said I'm going through it, it feels heart-wrenching at
the time, but also it's okay,like this or something better,
this or something.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
this or something better, this or something better
, this or something better, thisor something better, this or
something better.
I think that's a perfect way toend this one.
Love you, love you.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
If you enjoyed this show, let us know.
We're all about authenticconnections, so come chat with
us on social media or email.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So come chat with us on social media or email.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
No-transcript no-transcript.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
We're all about authentic connections, so come
chat with us on social media oremail.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
And please make sure to subscribe to the podcast on
your favorite platform and sharethe magic on your socials.
Welcome to Redefining Normal.
Join us as we questionconventional thinking and talk
about the courage it takes tocreate and live a deliciously
vibrant life.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
This podcast is for people who know there's a better
way to do life and love how weshow up in connection to others
our kids, our partners, ourbusiness and, beyond that, our
relationship with money,vitality and, more than anything
, ourselves.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to
experience the fullness of life.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
And we're collapsing the conditioning that says you
can't live a life of pleasure,peace and abundance in the midst
of the mundane of life,responsibilities, work and kids.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Are you ready?
Let's do this.
This week, Jamie and I aregoing to drop into a
conversation around contentment,which doesn't sound very
exciting, but I promise you willchange your life.
And what was the other thing?
We were just saying?
What?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
were we just talking about the grass being greener?
The?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
grass being greener, that's right.
The grass being greener on theother side, yeah, so go ahead,
jamie.
What do you want to?
How do you want to start this?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah.
So this has been playing a lotfor me lately the mind's
tendency to play in fantasy andlike what, if, what could be,
which really is not real.
It's just ideas.
I have an open head and Ajna,and so ideas come in and out of
me a lot and I'm starting torecognize how that plays out in
my contentness.
The thing that highlighted thisfor me is we recently sold our
(01:35):
house.
We set a price and we put it onthe market within 20 hours.
We had a full offer, sale,quick closing, very few
contingencies, everything wewanted, everything we wanted,
and immediately it was like oh,should we have priced it higher?
(01:56):
Should we have waited?
What if a better offer came?
In All these imaginary scenariosthat do not exist, they're all
fantasy, they're all pretend.
Things started playing and thena guy, like a week later, drove
by the house and he's like it'salready sold.
Oh my gosh, how much I wasinterested, you know, and I was
like again could we have mademore money?
Could we have?
You know?
(02:16):
It was like wow, how quicklythe mind could pull me out of
deep contentment for theuniverse, literally saying yes
to everything I asked for, and Icouldn't just sit with
contentment with that you know,it was like to just be super
grateful to have had every,every checkbox, every checkbox
(02:40):
met right, and how easily it wasto get pulled into this.
The grass is greener in, ofcourse it is.
In fantasy land that doesn'texist, that's all imaginary, the
grass can be greener, butlooking at where it pulls us out
of deep contentment for what isand our capacity to just be
(03:01):
with what is, you know, likewhat is right in front of us,
what is real, and how oftenwe're not responding to that
because we're playing in mental,intellectual potential versus
probability of the now and thenrelationships.
(03:21):
We see this all the time andparenting and business and life
in general, right, like we soquickly want to I don't know
play in the idea of what couldhave been, what could be, versus
what is life showing me rightnow.
(03:42):
What is life showing me rightnow?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
How do I be content and grateful for all of the
gifts in this moment?
It's interesting.
Something I really started toadd on to this, something I
started thinking about a coupleof years ago, was around goal
setting and putting ourselvesout into the future vision,
right, and having this goal thatin a year's time I'm going to
have this, in five years timeI'm going to have this, dah, dah
, dah.
And then we put this uh, itfeels like a rubber band,
(04:14):
tension between where we are nowto where that is, and there's a
constant need to hold thistension that ultimately creates
anxiety in my body.
This is what I started to payattention to.
It was like the further out Iwould want to put a goal and the
more that I would attach to orwant that or think about that or
have to move towards that, themore tension there has been in
(04:35):
my body.
Now I say this, you guys, as aperson who teaches money,
manifestation things and wealthclearing and wealth
consciousness like, of course,we're going to put out into the
future what we fricking want,right?
So I'm not saying to you not toactually have a goal or a dream
or a vision, but what I startedto pay attention to was how far
like the space between it, howwe can play with that, and
(04:58):
sometimes it's just like, okay,I'm going to put that out there
for me now.
It's like, okay, I know, thisis what I'm working towards.
It's out there somewhere,there's no attachment.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It brings us back to that attachment as well.
Like this is the vision, butI'm not attached to it looking
any certain way.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Because it can't, we have no idea.
Like it could be even so muchbetter, right.
So I go this or somethingbetter, right?
So there's this thing that I'mworking towards, right, like
there's the action that I needto do now, what is in my present
moment here, and then come backto this present space.
And as long as we keep tickinginto these spaces where we're
taking action and being presentinto this moment, then we don't
(05:35):
we don't have to hold thatrubber band right, that rubber
band tension, and it's so muchnicer to our nervous system and
I think it's a really fine line.
But I think this is ultimatelycontentment, right?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
right.
This is as you're saying this.
I'm recognizing the differencebetween be playing in fantasy
from a place of lack, like whatdon't I have, what didn't I get,
what could I have had more of.
It's from this like lack place,versus from a place of
contentment and expanding intomore, because we are always
(06:10):
going to look to the future andwe are creating with our fantasy
, like we are telling theuniverse what we want.
But if we're holdingcontentment for what is and
acceptance of what is, thatpathway is clear versus what
could have been I don't have it.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
It's not here, yeah yeah because then ultimately
we're sending that signal intothe, into the world I don't have
it, it's not here yet.
And, like you, look at yourlife and ultimately you probably
have so much more than youthink and again that creates a
disconnect because you'retelling the universe I don't
even have what I want, it'snever going to.
I don't even have what I want,it's never going to be enough.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, versus, I have everything I want and I will
come more.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
And if you even think about this, this is something
really interesting to thinkabout.
If you think about this, likewhere you are sitting in this
moment, at some point in timeyou probably dreamed of this.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah Right, maybe five years ago, not even in your
wildest dreams, this is beyondwhat you dream, right, right,
right.
Even if and I'm going to saylook, even in this part here, I
didn't dream to be divorced,that's for sure, yeah, right.
So beyond my dreams, yes, waybeyond your dreams, but way
better, yeah, right.
Like I'm sad that I'm notmarried, I will always have a
(07:22):
grief in my heart that I'm, thatI don't get to have that
experience of, like lifeexperience, raising our kids
together, all these things, yeah.
But also my life is so muchbetter, right, and his too, and
my kids too, right, yeah, yeah.
So we can't know, and so Ithink it's a really interesting
thing to really just payattention to that.
Yeah, really having gratitudefor being in the I am here,
(07:48):
where I created and this dream,because maybe not at the
beginning of my marriage, butcertainly at the end of my
marriage, I dreamed to be here,that's damn sure, right.
And now I can sit here in suchgratitude that even after
heartbreak, I am still sofreaking grateful for the love,
I'm so grateful for how muchthat shared with me, I'm so
grateful in this moment that, oh, my God, look at all these
(08:09):
other things that are here tomove on from.
Yeah Right, like we can sit inthese moments, even in the even,
like I mean truly you guys whenheartbreak, when this shock
happened.
Jamie was the first person Ireached out to and I think the
third sentence that she said tome was Carrie, what amazing
thing is going to come from theshock?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right.
So even in the moment when Iwas like crushed to the
crushedness of crushed, I couldsit there and have gratitude.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah and you can.
You can hold both like this isthe paradox of being human.
It doesn't have to be one orthe other.
No, you can be completelydevastated and still recognize
something beautiful is seatinghere, you know, know, I think
that it really does stem fromthe internal state of where you
(08:55):
know where you're at.
Have you ever seen a guy thatit's, you know, like a meme or
something that I just saw onsocial media?
I've seen it before, though, soI'm curious if you've seen it.
But a guy talks about you know,if you're ever sick of your girl
and she's frustrated, annoyingand whatever you're frustrated.
If you're ever sick of yourgirl and she's frustrated,
annoying and whatever you'refrustrated with her, take her
picture and make a Tinderprofile, and he was like I put
(09:16):
her picture out there and shehad, you know, like 300, 300
dudes.
Like what, wait a second.
Now I'm competing with 300dudes, all these guys would love
to be with her.
And here I am complaining, andthen, like it kept updating and
he's like, now she's at like2000, now she's.
He's like, oh my gosh, I've gotto protect this.
I'm gonna, like, make herdinner and massage her feet and,
(09:37):
you know, like all of thisstuff.
So it's like you have to begrateful for where you're at,
not not looking for somethingbetter to replace what you
already have created, likewanting to not be here, to be
somewhere else versus beingfully here and expanding into
whatever comes next.
(09:58):
And they are very differentfrequencies very different, very
different frequencies.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Also, I'm going to say as a side to that piece that
jamie said you, you know likeyou can be here and move and
open to expand.
But truly I'm also going togive permission here that if
this is the wrong thing, ifsomething in your life is not,
if you're not content, yes, orthe opposite of content, yes.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
If you're being honest with yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
And it's not right for you.
Get the fuck out.
Yeah, whatever the thing is.
Yeah, whatever the thing is,yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Like, don't worry, that's an equally difficult
conversation to have to be superhonest with yourself that this,
this familiar, comfortableplace is not serving me.
Yes, to uproot all of that isas equally as challenging as
being deeply content with whereyou're at and not trying to be
somewhere else.
Right, this is the paradox ofbeing human, and they're both
(10:49):
true and they both exist,oftentimes with the same fucking
people and the situations andthe same dynamics yeah, totally
yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
And I think the other thing if we add into here
because you wanted to talk about, grass is greener and something
we were talking about before wegot on the call around grass is
greener on the other side,which also comes back to
contentment, right, like that wecan be.
And we were talking aboutrelationships and I was actually
saying how I was listening tosome married people talk about
the, the conversation aroundfinances in relationship, and it
was, you know, like there wasnothing bad about any of it.
(11:22):
It was a very normal, normalconversations that humans have
to have when they're inrelationships.
And I said to Jamie Jamie, Ihaven't had to have that, like
it's weird to think about havingthat conversation Right, and
and I was like, huh, I kind oflike the singleness of it.
And then I was like no, no, Idon't actually, because actually
I crave having someone to work,to do life with, yeah, and
(11:45):
that's going to mean thatfinancially, we're going to be
doing things together, whichmeans we need to know about each
other's finances, which meanswe need to have these
conversations Right, exactly.
And so it's really interestingbecause, like, we can sit here
even in and I hear this all thetime with couples, right?
Oh my God, it's so good to besingle.
Look at you.
You have so much freedom.
I'm like, oh my God, you knowhow nice it is that you get to
(12:06):
go home at the end of the dayand talk to your partner.
The grass is always greener.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
The thing that you don't have to functionally deal
with always looks moreattractive.
But every reality has itschallenges and its blessings,
and when you can consider all ofit as the whole and not tired
of the challenges withoutremembering the beauty in those
same challenges, you know likethey are two sides of the same
(12:28):
coin.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Those same challenges , you know like they are two
sides of the same coin, I think,and I think the importance of
this, because you know, I thinkthis is I think it's a really
important thing for people toactually get for the reason of
that, when you can come into thespace of contentment again, you
know, throughout all of theseconversations we're having,
we're talking about vibrationright and actually being able to
, as Jamie said, open to thatwhich we want to receive, which
(12:50):
is very different than beingneedy and clingy If you go to
our last conversation onattachment right, having needy
clinginess that needs to be likeI need to have it this way,
right and then, from that space,when we're content, like our
energetic field which is why Iwas having that conversation
with Jamie before, because Iknow my energy right now is is
feeling a lot in my body Right,and so this has been my journey
(13:13):
to actually calm this down,because I know that when I do,
because I am a far morecomfortable in my own body, but
it also means that my frequencyto that which I desire is far
more aligned.
And it's really important tohave this awareness because when
we up-level, when we shiftthrough different paradigms and
different dynamics, when we havethese shocks, when we have
(13:34):
these conversations with ourpartners, when these things and
we get dysregulated, oftentimesthere's something that can be
gained out of it.
Oftentimes it's because we'veshell, we've opened something
that we didn't know existed, orwe've had a trigger come up, or
that we've had something thatwe've had to touch that we
didn't touch before, didn't knowexisted, or we've had a trigger
come up, or we've had somethingthat we've had to touch that we
didn't touch before.
And if we ignore it, then itonly like we end up in, probably
, resentment, anger, bitterness,blah, blah, blah, which are low
(13:56):
vibration energies, anxiety,all these different things which
are low vibration energies.
And well, anxiety isn't a lowvibration.
It is a vibration and it willtake you further from what you
desire.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yep, and think about how this ripples into your life.
I mean, we are energetic beings, we are frequency, and so if
I'm operating in frustration oranger or you know whatever, the,
the not self is and and that'sgonna impact all of the people
around me in the way thatthey're relating to me as well,
(14:34):
so it just continues to createresonance with the thing that
I'm feeling, versus when I takeresponsibility for my
satisfaction, for your peace,for projector success, for
projector success.
You know, it's like when wetake responsibility for that
vibration within ourselves, itripples into the world in
service to the people closest tous and even, you know, an
(14:57):
extension of us beyond whoever'sclosest to us.
Like I just shared on Facebooktoday.
Actually, I had no idea that,following my satisfaction, um,
and that sacral, sell the houseand move out to the country and
ignoring the minds like but whatabout?
But wait a second and figuringout of the details, it was like
none of that matters.
(15:17):
Do this thing right now that itwould lead to Rumi finding her
satisfaction here, like itwasn't.
It wasn't.
That wasn't a part of theequation initially, but because
I followed my satisfaction, itled to more of that in the
people around me.
So we ended up moving into avalley which is Rumi's
(15:39):
environment and human design,and to watch a different child
operate like clarity andcuriosity and excitement about
things in a short amount of time, it's like holy, holy shit,
like I had no idea.
It was so kind of baselinenormal that I didn't even know
(16:01):
that it wasn't healthy until wegot out here and I'm like, oh my
gosh, this is what you should,this is where she should be
operating.
And that happened because I wasfocused on my satisfaction and
following my sacral response.
And so it's like thisrecognition that we are
responsible for our alignmentand trusting that it's going to
(16:25):
create beautiful ripples in theworld and the people around us,
and that doesn't happen whenwe're wishing we were somewhere
else.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Mm.
Uh-oh, right, Uh-oh.
I think that I think.
On top of that, I'd like to addas well that one of the things
that I feel that's important inthis as well is that if we don't
come to contentness inourselves and where we are in
our lives, we're actuallytelling the universe that it's
not enough and that we're notenough, and that it, like it
(16:56):
doesn't matter what you give me,it's never enough.
Yeah, so it will stop giving toyou.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Yeah, cause even when you said, if this isn't an
alignment for you, make a change.
But you can't even become clearon that, if you're always
wishing it was something else,in order to get the clarity of
what is right for me, you haveto be an acceptance of what is
it, of where you're at now, likea surrender to the what is in
(17:20):
order to know what would bebetter.
But if you're always like I'mjust going to avoid this and I'm
going to hope and wish forsomething different, you're not.
You're not creating an openingfor real change to get you to
the right place, cause even ifyou leave this and go to
something else, you're stillavoiding what is, and so you're
going to end up in anothersituation that just reflects the
(17:41):
same dynamic.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, and you're actually avoiding yourself,
right?
If you can't find thecontentment in yourself or get
rid of the things that are notserving you, then you're
avoiding something in yourselfand running from a pattern in
yourself that is keeping youtrapped on the hamster wheel.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, it's just not.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
And if you want to get off that jet that's what
Jamie and I do, by the way yeah,get off that damn hamster wheel
.
You want to talk about moneystuff?
Talk to me.
And talk about parenting stuff?
Talk to Jamie, and it is.
It's really it's like you know,the work that we do in our, in
our groups and with our, withour own one-on-one work with
people.
This is ultimately how we helpeach help people is to come into
themselves and and see theirpatterns and be able to make
(18:20):
changes so that they can becontent and all relationships
start here.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Like all relationships start with your
relationship to self.
Whether it's money or a partneror kids or whatever the change
it's, it has to happen in you.
You can't change all the otherthings without starting right
here at home.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
So I always think it's fascinating when I look at,
when I watch clients and Ioften say to people you don't
have to make massive changes inyour life to actually change
your state Right, and a lot ofpeople might come feeling really
unhappy about something, butit's like you can still be in
the same exact position of yourlife, like I'm, have the same
job, the same parents, the samehusband or wife or kids or
(19:01):
whatever friends circle.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
All that stuff can stay the same and it's amazing
how much it will change when youactually change your inner
dialogue with yourself and youcome to this contentment, when
you can come to this place of umtruly finding peace in life
yeah, it's like when you takecharge of the narrative, because
the mind will run some bullshitstories, fuck yeah, um, but if
(19:23):
you, if you begin to be incharge of the narrative, the
inner narrative, yeah, all theexternal stuff can be exactly
the same, but the storyinternally flips and it's a
completely different experienceand it might mean, and it might
mean, people do leave your life,I mean, and it's okay, yeah,
right and that's okay, it's likeyeah, it feels if I mean I'm
(19:46):
like I said I'm going through it, it feels heart-wrenching at
the time, but also it's okay,like this or something better,
this or something.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
this or something better, this or something better
, this or something better, thisor something better, this or
something better.
I think that's a perfect way toend this one.
Love you, love you.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
If you enjoyed this show, let us know.
We're all about authenticconnections, so come chat with
us on social media or email.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So come chat with us on social media or email.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
No-transcript no-transcript.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
We're all about authentic connections, so come
chat with us on social media oremail.
Links are listed in the shownotes.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
And please make sure to subscribe to the podcast on
your favorite platform and sharethe magic on your socials.
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