November 11, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode of Retirement Reality, Darren shares what it’s really like to walk away from work at 54 and why it still feels surreal. After decades of saving, hitting his number, and paying off the house, a company reorg gave him the push he needed to finally make the leap.
He talks about how it feels to go from structure to freedom overnight, what surprised him about early retirement, and why he refuses to see it as a “forever” decision. For Darren, this season isn’t about stopping life — it’s about living it on his own terms.
The conversation dives into what so many retirees quietly wrestle with: the emotional side of letting go, the fear of spending after years of saving, and the question of who you are without a job title. It’s honest, grounded, and a reminder that retirement isn’t an ending, it’s just a different kind of beginning.
Want to be a guest on James’ show to help others by sharing your story? Complete this form: https://vwo3759x8i7.typeform.com/to/IwyScIeR
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Darren is not a client of Root Financial Partners, LLC and received no compensation for participating in this video. His statements reflect his own opinions and experience and are not indicative of any specific client’s experience and are not a guarantee of results. No cash or non-cash compensation was provided, and no material conflicts are known.
Advisory services are offered through Root Financial Partners, LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Viewing this content does not create an advisory relationship. We do not provide tax preparation or legal services. Always consult an investment, tax or legal professional regarding your specific situation.
The strategies, case studies, and examples discussed may not be suitable for everyone. They are hypothetical and for illustrative and educational purposes only. They do not reflect actual client results and are not guarantees of future performance. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal.
Comments reflect the views of individual users and do not necessarily represent the views of Root Financial. They are not verified, may not be accurate, and should not be considered testimonials or endorsements
Participation in the Retirement Planning Academy or Early Retirement Academy does not create an advisory relationship with Root Financial. These programs are educational in nature and are not a substitute for personalized financial advice. Advisory services are offered only under a written agreement with Root Financial.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Let's assume your last day work was on a Friday.
You have the weekend.
We've always had weekends.
There's nothing different aboutthat.
But Monday rolls around, thefirst Monday of no work.
What did you do?
SPEAKER_00 (00:09):
One thing I always like, I would walk into work.
And when I walk to work, Ialways, if it was a beautiful
day out, I'd be like, I justwant to keep walking.
Like I want to like spend theday exploring and like going out
and do things.
So I think during that firstweek, I did a lot of walking.
And during the day, you know,like I would walk around outside
like with like a huge, like adumb smile on my face.
I was like just so happy andlike couldn't believe it.
Like this is basically what I'mgonna be doing now.
I'm just gonna like whenever Iwant, I can just go out, walk
(00:31):
around, go anywhere, doanything.
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
For decades, retirement was just a
theoretical number until one dayit wasn't.
Darren hit his target retirementnumber, he paid off his
mortgage, and then he waited forthe right moment.
A company reorg that opened up awindow for him to retire.
Eight months later, he's inphase one.
Walks on Tuesday afternoons,health first, and a life full of
small joys.
But what's interesting aboutDarren is he's proof that you
(00:53):
don't need a grand passion justto get started.
In today's episode, we dig intohealthcare worries, solo trips
when friends aren't free duringthe week, and a very helpful
reframing of the word retirementin the first place.
Enjoy today's episode withDarren.
Darren, thank you for joining meon today's episode of Retirement
Reality.
I would love to hear from you.
If you could describe yourretirement in just one word,
(01:15):
what would that be?
SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
Uh yeah, I guess I would probably say it's kind of
surreal.
Um yeah, it's true.
I find it very, very like afterall these years of planning,
just surreal to be able toactually do it.
Surreal.
SPEAKER_01 (01:29):
Okay, how long have you been retired?
Uh eight months.
SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
Eight months.
So eight months.
So it's still pretty stillpretty fresh.
I'd say I'm in the in thehoneymoon phase.
I'm kind of just yeah, figuringout how it goes.
And so, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (01:40):
So let's let's dive into that.
You've been retired for eightmonths, and sure, retirement
eight months in could lookdifferent potentially than
retirement three years in, fiveyears in, ten years in.
But surreal.
What was surreal aboutretirement to you?
SPEAKER_00 (01:54):
Uh yeah, I guess, you know, like, you know, I had
worked for 30 years and I hadbeen saving for much of those
many of those years for decades.
And kind of over the years, youjust kind of watch this number
go up and down until they go up.
And it's this theoretical numberthat you're just kind of looking
at.
It's very abstract.
I always treated my investmentsas like I could only put in, I
(02:15):
couldn't take out.
So I was like, it was kind oflike I didn't touch it once it
was there.
So I never saw it as a as kindof real thing.
It was just a number.
And yeah, then one day thenumber says uh you don't need to
work anymore.
And then you know, like, oh wow,okay.
This theoretical money now issomething that's actually became
very tangible.
And then one day, you know, whenI finally uh pulled the trigger,
(02:36):
then, you know, then my life isjust completely different all of
a sudden because of this likemagic number that was I had just
been watching for all this time.
So yeah, it was just very like,you know, I had a the plan was
always there.
I was you know thinking aboutit, but then one day the plan
became reality.
I'm like, oh, okay, well, thatjust kind of happened.
So kind of like surprising.
SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
I won't ask you what the specific number was, but did
you have a number in your mindwhere you said once I hit this
number, that's my trigger tooperate.
SPEAKER_00 (03:01):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
And I was working with afinancial advisor for some time
as well.
So I before I started workingwith a financial advisor, I had
a number.
And then as the years passed,that number kind of just changed
a little bit as you know theworld changed and as uh uh and
my gut feedback on the financialadvisor.
But yeah, I always kind of hadlike always had pretty much like
a number that I was shootingfor, whether that's sometimes a
(03:22):
change, but I always had anumber.
SPEAKER_01 (03:24):
When you hit that number, the day you hit that
number, either because a 401kcontribution went in or you had
a bonus that you put in, or themarket took it to hit that
number, did you feelsignificantly different than
before, or did it feel likemaybe I need a little bit more?
SPEAKER_00 (03:39):
I think probably the big thing for me was that yeah,
the number was looking good.
I had a mortgage and I kind offelt like I didn't want to
retire with a mortgage.
So that was a big like kind ofthing on my back.
I was like, I want to figure outa way to get rid of the
mortgage.
It doesn't take from myinvestments.
I don't want to retire with amortgage.
And uh so I think that wasprobably the biggest switch the
day I was able to get rid ofthat mortgage.
(04:00):
That was like a huge weight offmy back.
I'm like, okay, now uh I've donethat.
Was my last financial goal thatI had, which was not having to
deal with that.
And uh, that was the day that Icould really, really felt like
very confident that I was readyto go.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
So you you hit your number, you paid off your
mortgage.
How long between doing those twothings did it take for you to
actually stop working?
SPEAKER_00 (04:21):
Uh about four years, actually.
Yeah.
Well once I once I paid off themortgage, I was like, I can go
anytime now.
So that was kind of nice, kindof that, you know, having that
independence for the at workbecause I didn't begin to feel
quite as tied to it as I did,but you know, I still felt
stressed with everything.
But I did like my job.
And uh so I kind of just kind ofkept working for another four
years because I liked it and Iwas enjoying it and kind of just
(04:42):
waited for the right moment toto where it was I felt it was
like the best time for me to go.
So and that and that like Isaid, that could have been any
time, but it ended up being likefour years.
SPEAKER_01 (04:53):
I'm curious to know what that moment was because I I
think for a lot of people that'sa similar experience where they
have maybe a number, they havethese financial check boxes.
It might be paying off amortgage, it might be putting a
child through school, it mightbe whatever it is, and they hit
it, but that doesn't necessarilyit feels good, but doesn't
launch them into retirement.
It tends to be something elsethat actually is the impetus to
(05:15):
make that decision.
What happened four years afteryou hit those numbers that
prompted you to retire?
SPEAKER_00 (05:21):
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess one thing I'd say,you know, I've heard people say
things like, you know, youshouldn't retire away from
something, you should retiretowards something.
And I felt like I didn't haveeither.
Like I wasn't, I like my job, Ididn't want to leave it.
I didn't have a big, like otherthan kind of, you know, a lot of
various little things I want todo.
I didn't have like a hugepassion that I was trying to go
to.
So I was kind of like, well,I'll stick around at work while
I'm enjoying it, uh, or whilethings are are kind of going
(05:43):
well.
And then we had uh a re-org andI got moved into a different
division.
And I kind of saw basically agood time for me to, I was kind
of looking for the best time toleave that would cause the less
uh uh uh disruption to myteammates and stuff.
So when we did this re-org, Imoved to a different team and I
like handed off all my work tosomebody else that I was
starting to pick up new work,but I wasn't really embedded
(06:05):
that deep into that work yet.
So I saw there was a windowthere where I felt like if I
leave now, uh, first of all, youknow, if I go to this new team,
I probably am signing up to bethere for a little while because
I don't want to go to a new teamand then like leave any, you
know, half a year or whatever.
And I've also handed off my oldstuff.
So it was this like nice windowwhere I uh I felt it was like
not gonna be disruptive.
(06:27):
And also coincidentally, thatwas right around my like exact
30-year uh working time.
So I felt like everything linedup.
It was like it was 30 years, itwas like at the end of the year,
so it was coming into the newyear.
I was changing teams, I'd handedeverything off.
I was like, this like just feelslike the time to do it.
So everything just kind of likealigned.
SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
In retrospect, so you know, it at the time
everything aligned, a regorg washappening, you hit your 30
years, you had already hit yournumbers that you wanted to hit.
Knowing what you know now, beingeight months into retirement,
was that the right time?
Do you wish you had retiredsooner?
Is there any part of you thatwishes you had stayed on?
How are you feeling today?
SPEAKER_00 (07:06):
I actually feel like it was pretty perfect.
Uh like, you know, uh yeah,since I didn't have uh anything
like I was really going towards,I didn't feel like a retiring
sooner would have like uh helpedme too much more.
I think it would have been maybenice.
But I guess the probably themain thing is that the working
extra four years that I did um,you know, was four years less
that I have to support myself inretirement and four years more
(07:28):
income that I made.
So that like also cushionedthings a little bit.
It also gave me like padded mynumbers a little of where I felt
even more confident.
Um, and yeah, so I think justbecause of that situation, uh I
felt like it was kind of likethe perfect timing.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
You you mentioned before you said uh a lot of
people, they have a passion,they want to retire too.
There's something that theyreally want to do that works,
maybe preventing them fromdoing.
And and correct me if I'm wrong,but it sounds like there wasn't
necessarily something, onespecific thing that you couldn't
wait to do once you stoppedworking.
So what has like has it been anadjustment?
Has it been hard to adjust tothe new reality?
SPEAKER_00 (08:03):
Yeah, I think uh a surprise that I found is that I
like settled into uh not workingvery easily.
Uh like uh I I talked to manypeople before I, you know,
stopped working.
Uh and you know, many people arelike, oh, it's gonna be so
different, and it is verydifferent, and you know, you're
gonna have to, you know, youknow, you could be bored.
You know, my dad, he retired andthen kept going back to work.
And you know, you you see thatkind of happened.
(08:24):
Uh so like I didn't know it waslike uncharted territory.
I'm like, I don't know what'sgonna happen.
I was telling people that, like,I don't know, in a month I could
be bored and I'll be like comingback, trying to come back to
work or looking for another jobor three months or six months.
And yeah, probably that was thebiggest surprise was that uh for
me, I mean, everybody's verydifferent.
I have, you know, my the way Iwork, the way I like approach
(08:45):
things, and I just like lovedit.
I was just immediately likewaking up every day without
anything that you have to dospecifically.
And I didn't have one big thingI wanted to do, but I'd like I
have like lots of little things.
So I've like always like Ialways have things that that
kind of keep me busy.
And none of them are likeimportant or earth-shattering.
They're just like things I liketo do and things I have on my
list of things to do for years.
(09:05):
And now I just kind of work myway through them and and like
yeah, just kind of do whatever Ifeel like on the day.
SPEAKER_01 (09:11):
A list of things that you've had on your list for
years.
Well, how how did that is wasthis a physical list that you
kept that these are things Iwant to do, or was it more of a
mental list of more of a mentallist, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:20):
Yeah.
Like for example, like I hadmany video games I wanted to
play.
So I have been sort of startingto play video games, books I
wanted to read.
I had like all sorts of projectsaround the house that I wanted
to do.
Um actually, probably my numberone uh you know thing I started
doing when I uh when I stoppedworking was basically to focus
more on fitness, like health andfitness.
So working out more.
I had, you know, in the in thepast few years, with work being
(09:42):
kind of busy, I had allowed uhmyself to like not, you know, do
as much health, like exercise asmuch.
So I basically really that waslike probably my number one goal
when I stopped was to like getinto regular exercise routines,
uh, eat better.
And like now my job essentiallyis you know to be as healthy as
I can be.
That's like my number one job.
And then so that that kind ofwas my main focus and then doing
(10:03):
all those kind of other thingsas well.
SPEAKER_01 (10:05):
Yeah.
I'm I'm curious, Darren, whatthe last eight months has been
like.
So I'm let's let's assume yourlast day of work was on a
Friday.
You have the weekend, we'vealways had weekends, there's
nothing different about that,but Monday rolls around, the
first Monday of no work.
What did you do?
unknown (10:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (10:19):
Well, yes.
Uh for me, it was I think Mondaywas a holiday, so I made a
mistake.
I should have resigned on theMonday and then got the pay for
that last day.
So if Monday was, I didn'tconsider that my first day
because that was actually like along weekend.
Um, but yeah, I think the firstday, yeah, I just I yeah, I
probably got up and just likeone thing I always like, I would
walk into work.
And when I walk to work, Ialways, if it was a beautiful
(10:40):
day out, I'd be like, I justwant to keep walking.
Like I want to like spend theday exploring and like going out
and do things.
So I think you know, in thatfirst week, I did a lot of
walking and during the day, youknow, like being able to go like
go around and like take a take abig long walk on like a Tuesday
afternoon or a Wednesdayafternoon when it's like nice
out.
And instead of being like stuckat an office, I was like, I
think for that first month ortwo, I would walk around outside
(11:03):
like with like a huge, like adumb smile on my face.
I was like just so happy andlike couldn't believe it.
Like this is basically what I'mgonna be doing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna likewhenever I want, I can just go
out, walk around, go anywhere,do anything.
Uh so yeah, I think probablyjust getting out a a lot more in
that first uh while and I stilldo that a lot a lot.
But that was like a big one.
It was like, okay, now I like Ican just do anything during the
day.
I don't, I'm not in the officelike nine to five all the time.
(11:25):
And if it's a beautiful day, I'mnot looking out a window wishing
I was outside.
SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
Does your day-to-day look the same today?
So so first Tuesday afterretiring, you're just walking
and you're smiling the wholetime because it's just so new.
You're eight months now, eightmonths in now.
Are you still waking up andwalking?
What does the routine look liketoday that it maybe didn't look
like day one?
SPEAKER_00 (11:46):
Yeah, yeah, it's probably like pretty similar.
I think I kind of feel like it,you know, I'm still like maybe
this will be like I I imagineprobably as I am not retired for
longer, I'll be going throughphases.
This is, I feel like still I'vebeen at that first phase of like
I kind of do the same things.
Like I get up, I usually uh, youknow, do some exercise in the
morning, work on the computer.
I've got lots of like, you know,like uh computer projects, like
(12:08):
programming projects and thingsthat I kind of work on, and then
you know, have some lunch andthen go for a walk.
And yeah, so I kind of like sooften, yeah, and go for a walk.
And yeah, maybe I'll go see amovie in the afternoon, uh,
stuff like that.
So I think it hasn't changedsignificantly.
I think maybe it's become I I'mdefinitely very like
routine-oriented.
So I kind of follow kind of thesame routine, kind of every day
(12:30):
or variations of routines oncertain days and stuff.
So yeah, I feel like it hasn'tactually evolved significantly,
but I do feel like probablythere, you know, will be a time
when, you know, basically maybeI go to some other phase where
maybe I change some other thing,some of the ways I'm operating.
SPEAKER_01 (12:46):
If you can rewind uh 12 months ago, so you weren't
yet retired, you're about fourmonths out.
Is what life looks like todaywhat you imagined it would look
like going into retirement, ordid you have a different vision
for what the day-to-day mightlook like?
SPEAKER_00 (13:01):
Yeah, I think probably the biggest thing that
hasn't really come uh to furtherthe way I thought it would was
travel.
Like I do travel uh like usuallyonce a month, I'll travel
somewhere like in North Americaor or you know, something kind
of small.
But uh yeah, before I before Ileft my job, I was like, I'm
gonna do all the travel, I'mgonna go to Europe for a month,
and I'm gonna like go here or gothere.
They had really big travelplans.
(13:22):
So I was I would have envisionedI would be like living somewhere
or like staying somewhereoverseas for like a couple
months.
And I haven't really done thatyet.
And I that's kind of still onthe plan.
That's when I talk about thephases.
Maybe the next phase I'm doingmore traveling.
But I've been happy just becauseI've really enjoyed uh kind of
decompressing from work, doingall the things around kind of
(13:44):
where I live in my in my homeand in the city that I kind of
had wanted to do over over thepast many years.
I'm kind of just like enjoyingthat and not like pressuring
myself to go and like jump intodoing a bunch of travel just
yet.
Um and you know, that'll come.
But right now I'm I'm yeah, moreand just like kind of doing you
know stuff around aroundlocally.
SPEAKER_01 (14:03):
Yeah.
How old were you when youretired, Darren?
Uh 54.
How many of your friends orpeople that you worked with are
retired, given that you'reretired at a young age?
SPEAKER_00 (14:15):
Yeah, uh maybe two.
I'm not that many.
Yeah, I know maybe two peopledirectly that uh kind of my
peers that that have retired.
SPEAKER_01 (14:22):
Has that been a challenge, being retired, having
all the free time in the world,but a lot of your peers are
still working?
SPEAKER_00 (14:29):
Yeah, yeah, it definitely means like the
weekdays and the weekends aredifferent because weekdays
everybody's kind of working.
So, you know, you kind of are onyour own a lot, which is which
I'm fine with.
I like just uh you know beingwith my thoughts.
Uh but yeah, it's definitelyharder to find people to do
things with.
And like, you know, if I go ontrips, I will, you know, I can
go in the middle of the week, Ican go anytime, but not
everybody can can do that.
(14:51):
People want to do things overthe weekend.
So yeah, so it does mean kind ofweekdays and weekends.
I sort of have kind of likedifferent some different
activities because it's youknow, uh, you know, there's more
people available to hang out onweekends.
Uh so yeah, it's been a littlebit of a challenge, but like I
say, it doesn't really botherme.
I don't mind uh doing things onmy own.
I'm pretty happy doing that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:06):
Yeah.
I want to go back to what yousaid at the very beginning about
surreal being the word that youwould describe retirement.
Is surreal to you more of thethe life that you get to live
and how happy you are, or is itjust surreal this fact that you
spent 30 years building up thisportfolio planning for this
moment, and now that moment'sarrived, and it just is hard to
fully grasp that.
SPEAKER_00 (15:27):
Yeah, I think I think it's just yeah, the you
know, I guess more more aboutthe my life.
Like now, my you know, the uhplan that was so theoretical for
so long now is basically this,and like this is what my life
could be like forever if I wantit to be.
Uh so it's very nice, and I cancraft my life to be whatever I
want, whatever I want it to benow.
Uh, you know, I have the freedomto to kind of do whatever I
(15:49):
want.
Uh so yeah, I think that's kindof like just the uh yeah, just
feeling very lucky and likeprivileged that I'm able to was
able to retire so early and uhnow just kind of do what I want.
SPEAKER_01 (16:02):
Yeah.
I know you mentioned thatthere's the re-org, and that's
what was the final thing thatpushed you into retirement, but
you enjoyed work.
Is there any aspect of you thatmisses work or misses the
structure or misses co-workersor misses any aspect of that
previous job?
SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
Uh yeah, I think um not as much as I would have
thought.
I would have thought maybe Imissed a whole like a bunch of
things about like have you knowseeing people every day, being
in the workplace, uh, because Idid go into the office and I
liked going into the officeseeing people, but uh I still uh
do meet up with my co-workers.
I go back into the officeactually like once once a month
usually to see them.
Uh so yeah, probably the biggestthing is like not being able to
(16:43):
see my coworkers as oftenbecause I did I did like my
coworkers.
But other than that, nothing,nothing really.
I you know, like I did like myjob and I felt it was, you know,
I I like the type of work I did,but like I didn't feel like uh,
you know, it wasn't fulfillingin a way that feel like I'm
missing some some you know, somepiece of my life of the actual
work that I was doing.
So yeah, so not that muchactually.
(17:04):
Surprisingly, that is a surprisetoo.
SPEAKER_01 (17:06):
Yeah.
Um, one of the things that yousaid earlier was it sounded like
you talked to a lot of peoplebefore actually retiring and
they gave you feedback of, oh,are you gonna be bored or oh,
are you gonna miss a structure?
Oh, are did you feel like yougot how how accurate was a lot
of the advice that you felt likeyou got from friends or
coworkers or whoever you werespeaking to?
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
Yeah.
Uh I think probably because Igot a not a lot, but a couple
warnings of people like, oh, youknow, you know, it's it's gonna
you're gonna be bored, or youknow, uh, or like you could be
bored, or didn't, you know, likepeople that were hesitant.
Like so.
SPEAKER_01 (17:36):
And were these retired people, Darren?
Were these people who'd alreadyretired or people starting?
SPEAKER_00 (17:40):
A mix.
A mix, yeah.
I think one, I think one retiredperson said something along
those lines, and and othernon-retired people, like triple
people said, you know, areraised those kind of sentiments
as well.
So yeah, I think there would,yeah.
So I think that kind of was apretty uh common piece piece of
potential feedback, which is whyI was concerned about it.
Uh, but I think, like I say, forme personally, that hasn't been
(18:03):
a problem.
I I certainly could see thatbeing a problem for some people,
but for me, uh that I was like,you know, and I also felt like
if that's gonna be the case, thesooner I find out about it, the
better.
Right.
And the only way to really Ididn't know if that's gonna be
the a problem is to just jumpinto it.
So I'm like, I'm young now.
If I did uh start getting superbored, I could just go back to
work or I could, you know, findsome other thing uh to do.
(18:25):
And so I'd rather know now thatI need to like readjust myself
because at some point I'm gonnahave to stop working.
At some point I'm gonna have touh be prepared for this.
So you know, might as wellfigure it out now.
SPEAKER_01 (18:35):
Well, that that I think you're starting to answer
my next question is how did youemotionally prepare for that?
I mean, you know this moment'sgonna be surreal.
You know you've been planningfor this moment for 30 years.
There's aspects of your job thatyou truly did enjoy.
You have friends or colleaguesgiving you feedback that you're
gonna be bored, don't do it.
I would imagine you're tooyoung, you've got so you've got
good earnings years in front ofyou.
(18:56):
How much more could you do?
How did you emotionally prepareyourself to say, you know what,
I'm just gonna do it when itsounds like there's maybe a good
number of voices and rationalreasons not to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:06):
Yeah, yeah.
I wouldn't say a lot of peoplesaying it, but they're
definitely that kind offeedback.
Uh, but yeah, I think mainly I Ithink emotionally, or I guess
because of this window, thislike good timing for me to leave
at work, I just really felt likethat was that was kind of giving
me like calmness or likeconfidence that it was the right
thing to do because I'm like, ifI don't do it now, it's it's I'm
(19:28):
gonna miss the window and I'mgonna I'll regret it.
Like I, you know, I I uh youknow, I didn't know I was
actually gonna like resign untillike the day I booked the man
the meeting with my manager, Iwas like, you know, I was always
like, I'm 90% sure, I'm 90%sure, but I was like, I just
pulling the actually pulling thetrigger is like really
difficult.
Uh so you know, it's obviously abig decision to make.
So yeah, I was kind of like,until I actually booked the
(19:49):
meeting and sat down and told mymanager I wasn't actually sure I
was gonna do it, but I reallyhad a feeling that uh if I
didn't do it and take advantageof this opportunity in and I
would be kicking myself in twomonths or three months.
Uh so yeah, I kind of felt likejust everything was aligned
enough that made me feelconfident that it was the right
decision to make and and youknow take the risk.
How did your manager take thenews?
(20:12):
Uh good.
Yeah, she was really good aboutit.
Yeah, she was, of course,disappointed, but uh that I was
leaving.
But uh yeah, was like, you know,very supportive about, you know,
basically the, you know, me notbeing having to work and stuff.
So yeah, it was quite good.
They did ask me to stay a littlebit longer than I had
anticipated, but since I didn'treally have any specific place
to be, I like stuck around alittle a little longer than I
(20:34):
than I had expected.
But that was great because I hadlots of time to say goodbye to
people and to wrap things up uheven more and stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (20:40):
You know, one thing that um what was interesting to
me as I started working withclients in this phase of life is
there's the fear of retirementthat people have.
But then once they make thedecision to do that, there's a
real fear of letting your bossdown or letting your team down
or letting your company downthat a lot of people feel.
Did you feel any of that?
Of oh, what are they am Iletting them down?
(21:01):
How did how did you wrestle withthose emotions?
SPEAKER_00 (21:04):
Yeah, that was tough.
I, you know, really in mythird-year career, I only had
two jobs.
So I only ever resigned from twojobs.
So I wasn't like very good at itor wasn't very used to of having
to resign.
So I was very nervous about it.
And you know, I was moving tothis new project that was kind
of a high profile, likeimportant project.
Now I and my manager was reallyrelying on me to like work on
(21:24):
that project.
So I knew that would have beenthat was like not ideal.
So I was like, yeah, I was quitenervous coming into it.
Uh, but you know, uh at the endof the day, I knew it was, knew
it was the right thing to do.
And then, like I said, you know,she was very supportive and
like, you know, it went, it wentquite well.
It was uh it was, you know, shejust helped help me a lot
through it to make sure that itwas as smooth as possible.
SPEAKER_01 (21:43):
Yeah.
I think this is an importanttheme to pick up, even as people
are listening, is you had thesefears, you had these concerns,
you had these unknowns, whetherit's about retirement, whether
it's about the finances, whetherit's about how do you let them
know.
But there is a sense of what I'mhearing is if not now, when type
of a thing, or I can always goback if this doesn't work out.
(22:03):
I can always make you can't getthese years back though if you
don't do that.
SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And the other thing was I had Iactually had a red line in the
sand, which was 55.
I said they will not work past55.
Uh like so, regardless of howthings are like timing at work
or other things, I'm like, Ijust have to stop at some point.
Uh, you know, like yeah, it'syou know, I since I hit all my
financial goals, what is keepingme going?
You know, and it's inertia justthat's gonna keep me going.
(22:29):
And at some point, you youreally have no idea how long
you're gonna have your health,you're gonna have, you know,
things can change so quickly.
So I'm like, uh, you know, ifthere's no reason for me to
financially be working, uh,then, you know, I should I
really owe it to myself to liketake the uh take the jump and do
it.
And then yeah, like I say, if itdoesn't work out, I could always
consider going back and then Ihave to figure out what the
future looks like from there.
(22:50):
Um, but yeah, but like I said,55 was really the hard deadline.
I'm like, I'm not gonna go backto 55.
Uh so even if I hadn't quitearlier this year, I would have
I would have uh quit uh you knowlater in the year.
SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
How much I I've talked to several people who
that probably not too dissimilarfrom you, but have hit their
number.
They have enough.
They run the projections, theprojections look good, the Monte
Carlo looks good, the stresstest looks good.
But there's something aboutretiring in their 50s that
doesn't feel right becauseSocial Security is not kicking
in, or they don't yet haveMedicare.
And it doesn't matter how muchwe model out the fact that your
(23:22):
investments can support this,you can get other medical
coverage.
There's still this mental blockof it.
It's hard to know that yourinvestments are what you're
fully living off of.
Did you experience any of that,or did hitting your number give
you the reassurance that youwere good regardless?
SPEAKER_00 (23:38):
Yeah, definitely that is a concern.
I mean, you know, yeah, youdon't have a paycheck covered
every week or month at everytime now you have to pay for
healthcare.
That's like a big, a big change.
Uh I think probably like I hadmentioned earlier with the
mortgage, once I get rid of themortgage, the mortgage is you
know, a big monthly payment, andI'm like, well, once I get rid
of the mortgage, that money thatI would have been putting
towards the mortgage nowessentially will easily cover my
(23:58):
healthcare costs or my likeinsurance health insurance.
So I'm kind of like, I don'twant to have too big these, you
know, like I don't want to addanother expense.
But if I can get rid of themortgage expense, then basically
uh I feel more comfortable withlike having this increased
expense with healthcare.
Um but yeah, definitely that'sthat's a that's a a bit of a
it's you know a tough one havingto all of a sudden pay for pay
for healthcare.
SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
Yeah.
Um changing gears a little bit,Darren, I find that sometimes
when people retire, they they'reso used to the day-to-day, the
busyness, they have deadlines,they have jobs, high stress.
There's not a lot of time tojust even explore the really
bigger questions of life.
Who am I?
What do I like doing?
Is there they almost don't knowwho they are by the time they
(24:39):
actually retire.
Have you learned anything aboutyourself that surprised you in
these past eight months of nothaving that corporate job
anymore?
SPEAKER_00 (24:48):
Yeah, I guess yeah, I I don't think any huge
surprises.
I think I kind of uh it kind ofturned out the way I kind of
expected, which is a surprise inof itself, because I wasn't sure
it was gonna was gonna turn outuh kind of well where I was like
enjoying it so much.
Yeah.
I think maybe one thing is thatI uh even though I, like I said,
(25:09):
I'm generally pretty routineoriented.
So I always do have like a listof things I want to do every
day.
And I still find myself likerushing around to do like I have
this thing to do it, I have thisthing to do.
And so I kind of make this likefalse stress for myself or some
of these like false deadlines.
So I also have to like stopmyself and go, like, what are
you doing?
Like you're you don't need to bestressed by things.
Like, don't like schedule twothings to do, and there are
(25:32):
three things to do in a day,like spread it out through the
week.
Don't you know, meet somebodyfor lunch and you have to get a
haircut and then you're gonna gosee a movie, and like I don't
need to do three things a day, Ican just do one thing a day.
So I felt like yeah, I feel likemaybe one thing is I kind of am
trying to like likesubconsciously introduce more
stress kind of back to my life,and I have to like purposely go
like, why are you doing that?
You know, just relax.
Uh, there's no you don't need tobe rushing around all the time.
(25:53):
Um uh yeah, just enjoy it andnot not not you know, not not
cause yourself uh unnecessarygrief.
SPEAKER_01 (26:00):
Yeah, yeah, love it.
Um going back to what I said alittle bit before, one thing
that strikes me about you isyou've you have felt all the
same fears and concerns andmaybe the anxieties that people
leave in this position feel, butyou went ahead and did it
anyways.
Is there a piece of advice youwould give to the audience or
something you would tell them,whether it's how to emotionally
(26:20):
prepare, how to financiallyprepare, how to psychologically
prepare?
What advice would you givepeople who are sitting maybe in
your shoes 12 months ago andknowing financially I can do
this?
I like work, I don't love it,but I don't know if I can bring
myself to actually do the scarything and tell my boss I'm gonna
go retire.
SPEAKER_00 (26:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I'd say like, youknow, it's not I, you know, I
don't, I don't even really likelike to use the retirement, uh,
the word retirement.
I genuinely tried to say stopworking.
And when I left my work, Ididn't tell people I was
retiring.
I told people I was taking ayear off, uh, which was
potentially true.
I didn't know if I was onlygonna take a year off.
So, you know, to me, I even dosee a possibility of the future
where I might uh work again insome capacity, like I uh like
(27:03):
part-time or contract work orsomething like that, if I felt
if an opportunity came along andI felt like I wanted to do it.
Um so yeah, so I feel like, youknow, it is a big step to make,
but uh I think the sooner you doyou if you can do it, you kind
of owe it to yourself to do it.
And then don't consider it theend of the line.
You do have, you know, you havethere's still lots of
opportunity to work and thingsyou can do.
(27:24):
Um so uh yeah, so I think youknow, for me, uh I I felt the
soonest sooner I could do it thebetter.
And you know, but you you canalways readjust later if you
need to, as long as you havedone the due diligence of your
finances.
So if like you truly don't needto work again, then you kind of
owe it to yourself, I think, totake the opportunity and do it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
I I'm serious.
I I think there's more wisdom towhat you just said, even that
I'm realizing for the first timein some ways, that the way we
frame things really matters.
And if this is framed asretirement, there's a certain
amount of both finality to thatthat can be very scary.
And there's this level ofDarren's like retirement carries
this connotation of I'm I'mdone, I'm not working hard
(28:08):
anymore, I'm just I'm retiringand you know, just lounge off in
this life of nothingness now.
But you're pursuing your healthlike you've never pursued.
You're doing these things thatyou've never been.
So there's this sense that youcan still maintain this life
full of vigor and excitement andadventure.
It just is different than whatlife looked like before.
So I think that what I'm hearingyou say is the way you frame it
(28:29):
is really important.
I think there's actually achargement of wisdom in that
that this isn't our final.
This is not setting anything instone.
And this isn't saying it's theend of the line for you.
This is the beginning of a brandnew adventure that can be filled
with far more joy and structureand community and all the above
if you approach it the right wayand if you make the commitment
(28:49):
to doing it.
SPEAKER_00 (28:50):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, you know, yeah,retirement's a nice shorthand
because people understand itwhen you say it, but like uh and
it's complicated to be seg well,you know, adding a lot of uh,
you know, qualifiers to things.
But yeah, I I'm like, you know,who knows what, like I say, I'm
in phase one, who knows whatphase two or phase three looks
like.
And, you know, now I'm youngenough that I can, you know, I
still have other things that Icould do.
(29:11):
So I feel, you know, whileyou've got your health, uh, you
know, you know, do it and thenjust figure it out.
SPEAKER_01 (29:17):
Yeah.
Um, Darren, thank you very muchfor all this.
If if you could tell theaudience any final words, any
final words of wisdom of whythey should retire earlier.
I'm using that word retire.
I know we said just don't useit, but it's why they should
potentially consider leavingtheir current employers early.
What kind of words of wisdomwould you give them?
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
Uh yeah, yeah.
I guess uh, like I said, I'dprobably recommend, you know,
doing it as soon as you can, butalways make sure you're doing
your due diligence.
And, you know, so I guess uhweigh the pros and cons.
Like there's a practical side ofit.
If you work longer and you savemore money, you're gonna be more
comfortable versus, you know, soyou have to find that balance
for yourself of like how, youknow, when uh you know, when I
(29:58):
was like looking at at uhretiring.
I also looked at like you knowmoving to lower cost uh places
of living or you're movingoverseas to lower cost places
like I looked at kind of all thespectrum of what is available to
you.
So yeah so I think basicallyit's up to you yourself to like
understand your comfort comfortlevel when you feel like you can
retire.
And to me, once you feelconfident you could retire in
(30:20):
the manner that you feel uh youknow financially uh that fits
your lifestyle, you kind of oweit to yourself to do it.
Uh so I would I would encourageI would encourage people
encourage people to do it.
SPEAKER_01 (30:30):
Yeah.
Well very good Darren thank youso much.
Thank you for joining me on thisepisode of Retirement Reality.
Appreciate you sharing uh howthe last eight months have gone
and best of luck for everythingahead.
Great yeah thank you for havingme
Let's assume your last day work was on a Friday.
You have the weekend.
We've always had weekends.
There's nothing different aboutthat.
But Monday rolls around, thefirst Monday of no work.
What did you do?
SPEAKER_00 (00:09):
One thing I always like, I would walk into work.
And when I walk to work, Ialways, if it was a beautiful
day out, I'd be like, I justwant to keep walking.
Like I want to like spend theday exploring and like going out
and do things.
So I think during that firstweek, I did a lot of walking.
And during the day, you know,like I would walk around outside
like with like a huge, like adumb smile on my face.
I was like just so happy andlike couldn't believe it.
Like this is basically what I'mgonna be doing now.
I'm just gonna like whenever Iwant, I can just go out, walk
(00:31):
around, go anywhere, doanything.
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
For decades, retirement was just a
theoretical number until one dayit wasn't.
Darren hit his target retirementnumber, he paid off his
mortgage, and then he waited forthe right moment.
A company reorg that opened up awindow for him to retire.
Eight months later, he's inphase one.
Walks on Tuesday afternoons,health first, and a life full of
small joys.
But what's interesting aboutDarren is he's proof that you
(00:53):
don't need a grand passion justto get started.
In today's episode, we dig intohealthcare worries, solo trips
when friends aren't free duringthe week, and a very helpful
reframing of the word retirementin the first place.
Enjoy today's episode withDarren.
Darren, thank you for joining meon today's episode of Retirement
Reality.
I would love to hear from you.
If you could describe yourretirement in just one word,
(01:15):
what would that be?
SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
Uh yeah, I guess I would probably say it's kind of
surreal.
Um yeah, it's true.
I find it very, very like afterall these years of planning,
just surreal to be able toactually do it.
Surreal.
SPEAKER_01 (01:29):
Okay, how long have you been retired?
Uh eight months.
SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
Eight months.
So eight months.
So it's still pretty stillpretty fresh.
I'd say I'm in the in thehoneymoon phase.
I'm kind of just yeah, figuringout how it goes.
And so, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (01:40):
So let's let's dive into that.
You've been retired for eightmonths, and sure, retirement
eight months in could lookdifferent potentially than
retirement three years in, fiveyears in, ten years in.
But surreal.
What was surreal aboutretirement to you?
SPEAKER_00 (01:54):
Uh yeah, I guess, you know, like, you know, I had
worked for 30 years and I hadbeen saving for much of those
many of those years for decades.
And kind of over the years, youjust kind of watch this number
go up and down until they go up.
And it's this theoretical numberthat you're just kind of looking
at.
It's very abstract.
I always treated my investmentsas like I could only put in, I
(02:15):
couldn't take out.
So I was like, it was kind oflike I didn't touch it once it
was there.
So I never saw it as a as kindof real thing.
It was just a number.
And yeah, then one day thenumber says uh you don't need to
work anymore.
And then you know, like, oh wow,okay.
This theoretical money now issomething that's actually became
very tangible.
And then one day, you know, whenI finally uh pulled the trigger,
(02:36):
then, you know, then my life isjust completely different all of
a sudden because of this likemagic number that was I had just
been watching for all this time.
So yeah, it was just very like,you know, I had a the plan was
always there.
I was you know thinking aboutit, but then one day the plan
became reality.
I'm like, oh, okay, well, thatjust kind of happened.
So kind of like surprising.
SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
I won't ask you what the specific number was, but did
you have a number in your mindwhere you said once I hit this
number, that's my trigger tooperate.
SPEAKER_00 (03:01):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
And I was working with afinancial advisor for some time
as well.
So I before I started workingwith a financial advisor, I had
a number.
And then as the years passed,that number kind of just changed
a little bit as you know theworld changed and as uh uh and
my gut feedback on the financialadvisor.
But yeah, I always kind of hadlike always had pretty much like
a number that I was shootingfor, whether that's sometimes a
(03:22):
change, but I always had anumber.
SPEAKER_01 (03:24):
When you hit that number, the day you hit that
number, either because a 401kcontribution went in or you had
a bonus that you put in, or themarket took it to hit that
number, did you feelsignificantly different than
before, or did it feel likemaybe I need a little bit more?
SPEAKER_00 (03:39):
I think probably the big thing for me was that yeah,
the number was looking good.
I had a mortgage and I kind offelt like I didn't want to
retire with a mortgage.
So that was a big like kind ofthing on my back.
I was like, I want to figure outa way to get rid of the
mortgage.
It doesn't take from myinvestments.
I don't want to retire with amortgage.
And uh so I think that wasprobably the biggest switch the
day I was able to get rid ofthat mortgage.
(04:00):
That was like a huge weight offmy back.
I'm like, okay, now uh I've donethat.
Was my last financial goal thatI had, which was not having to
deal with that.
And uh, that was the day that Icould really, really felt like
very confident that I was readyto go.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
So you you hit your number, you paid off your
mortgage.
How long between doing those twothings did it take for you to
actually stop working?
SPEAKER_00 (04:21):
Uh about four years, actually.
Yeah.
Well once I once I paid off themortgage, I was like, I can go
anytime now.
So that was kind of nice, kindof that, you know, having that
independence for the at workbecause I didn't begin to feel
quite as tied to it as I did,but you know, I still felt
stressed with everything.
But I did like my job.
And uh so I kind of just kind ofkept working for another four
years because I liked it and Iwas enjoying it and kind of just
(04:42):
waited for the right moment toto where it was I felt it was
like the best time for me to go.
So and that and that like Isaid, that could have been any
time, but it ended up being likefour years.
SPEAKER_01 (04:53):
I'm curious to know what that moment was because I I
think for a lot of people that'sa similar experience where they
have maybe a number, they havethese financial check boxes.
It might be paying off amortgage, it might be putting a
child through school, it mightbe whatever it is, and they hit
it, but that doesn't necessarilyit feels good, but doesn't
launch them into retirement.
It tends to be something elsethat actually is the impetus to
(05:15):
make that decision.
What happened four years afteryou hit those numbers that
prompted you to retire?
SPEAKER_00 (05:21):
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess one thing I'd say,you know, I've heard people say
things like, you know, youshouldn't retire away from
something, you should retiretowards something.
And I felt like I didn't haveeither.
Like I wasn't, I like my job, Ididn't want to leave it.
I didn't have a big, like otherthan kind of, you know, a lot of
various little things I want todo.
I didn't have like a hugepassion that I was trying to go
to.
So I was kind of like, well,I'll stick around at work while
I'm enjoying it, uh, or whilethings are are kind of going
(05:43):
well.
And then we had uh a re-org andI got moved into a different
division.
And I kind of saw basically agood time for me to, I was kind
of looking for the best time toleave that would cause the less
uh uh uh disruption to myteammates and stuff.
So when we did this re-org, Imoved to a different team and I
like handed off all my work tosomebody else that I was
starting to pick up new work,but I wasn't really embedded
(06:05):
that deep into that work yet.
So I saw there was a windowthere where I felt like if I
leave now, uh, first of all, youknow, if I go to this new team,
I probably am signing up to bethere for a little while because
I don't want to go to a new teamand then like leave any, you
know, half a year or whatever.
And I've also handed off my oldstuff.
So it was this like nice windowwhere I uh I felt it was like
not gonna be disruptive.
(06:27):
And also coincidentally, thatwas right around my like exact
30-year uh working time.
So I felt like everything linedup.
It was like it was 30 years, itwas like at the end of the year,
so it was coming into the newyear.
I was changing teams, I'd handedeverything off.
I was like, this like just feelslike the time to do it.
So everything just kind of likealigned.
SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
In retrospect, so you know, it at the time
everything aligned, a regorg washappening, you hit your 30
years, you had already hit yournumbers that you wanted to hit.
Knowing what you know now, beingeight months into retirement,
was that the right time?
Do you wish you had retiredsooner?
Is there any part of you thatwishes you had stayed on?
How are you feeling today?
SPEAKER_00 (07:06):
I actually feel like it was pretty perfect.
Uh like, you know, uh yeah,since I didn't have uh anything
like I was really going towards,I didn't feel like a retiring
sooner would have like uh helpedme too much more.
I think it would have been maybenice.
But I guess the probably themain thing is that the working
extra four years that I did um,you know, was four years less
that I have to support myself inretirement and four years more
(07:28):
income that I made.
So that like also cushionedthings a little bit.
It also gave me like padded mynumbers a little of where I felt
even more confident.
Um, and yeah, so I think justbecause of that situation, uh I
felt like it was kind of likethe perfect timing.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
You you mentioned before you said uh a lot of
people, they have a passion,they want to retire too.
There's something that theyreally want to do that works,
maybe preventing them fromdoing.
And and correct me if I'm wrong,but it sounds like there wasn't
necessarily something, onespecific thing that you couldn't
wait to do once you stoppedworking.
So what has like has it been anadjustment?
Has it been hard to adjust tothe new reality?
SPEAKER_00 (08:03):
Yeah, I think uh a surprise that I found is that I
like settled into uh not workingvery easily.
Uh like uh I I talked to manypeople before I, you know,
stopped working.
Uh and you know, many people arelike, oh, it's gonna be so
different, and it is verydifferent, and you know, you're
gonna have to, you know, youknow, you could be bored.
You know, my dad, he retired andthen kept going back to work.
And you know, you you see thatkind of happened.
(08:24):
Uh so like I didn't know it waslike uncharted territory.
I'm like, I don't know what'sgonna happen.
I was telling people that, like,I don't know, in a month I could
be bored and I'll be like comingback, trying to come back to
work or looking for another jobor three months or six months.
And yeah, probably that was thebiggest surprise was that uh for
me, I mean, everybody's verydifferent.
I have, you know, my the way Iwork, the way I like approach
(08:45):
things, and I just like lovedit.
I was just immediately likewaking up every day without
anything that you have to dospecifically.
And I didn't have one big thingI wanted to do, but I'd like I
have like lots of little things.
So I've like always like Ialways have things that that
kind of keep me busy.
And none of them are likeimportant or earth-shattering.
They're just like things I liketo do and things I have on my
list of things to do for years.
(09:05):
And now I just kind of work myway through them and and like
yeah, just kind of do whatever Ifeel like on the day.
SPEAKER_01 (09:11):
A list of things that you've had on your list for
years.
Well, how how did that is wasthis a physical list that you
kept that these are things Iwant to do, or was it more of a
mental list of more of a mentallist, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:20):
Yeah.
Like for example, like I hadmany video games I wanted to
play.
So I have been sort of startingto play video games, books I
wanted to read.
I had like all sorts of projectsaround the house that I wanted
to do.
Um actually, probably my numberone uh you know thing I started
doing when I uh when I stoppedworking was basically to focus
more on fitness, like health andfitness.
So working out more.
I had, you know, in the in thepast few years, with work being
(09:42):
kind of busy, I had allowed uhmyself to like not, you know, do
as much health, like exercise asmuch.
So I basically really that waslike probably my number one goal
when I stopped was to like getinto regular exercise routines,
uh, eat better.
And like now my job essentiallyis you know to be as healthy as
I can be.
That's like my number one job.
And then so that that kind ofwas my main focus and then doing
(10:03):
all those kind of other thingsas well.
SPEAKER_01 (10:05):
Yeah.
I'm I'm curious, Darren, whatthe last eight months has been
like.
So I'm let's let's assume yourlast day of work was on a
Friday.
You have the weekend, we'vealways had weekends, there's
nothing different about that,but Monday rolls around, the
first Monday of no work.
What did you do?
unknown (10:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (10:19):
Well, yes.
Uh for me, it was I think Mondaywas a holiday, so I made a
mistake.
I should have resigned on theMonday and then got the pay for
that last day.
So if Monday was, I didn'tconsider that my first day
because that was actually like along weekend.
Um, but yeah, I think the firstday, yeah, I just I yeah, I
probably got up and just likeone thing I always like, I would
walk into work.
And when I walk to work, Ialways, if it was a beautiful
(10:40):
day out, I'd be like, I justwant to keep walking.
Like I want to like spend theday exploring and like going out
and do things.
So I think you know, in thatfirst week, I did a lot of
walking and during the day, youknow, like being able to go like
go around and like take a take abig long walk on like a Tuesday
afternoon or a Wednesdayafternoon when it's like nice
out.
And instead of being like stuckat an office, I was like, I
think for that first month ortwo, I would walk around outside
(11:03):
like with like a huge, like adumb smile on my face.
I was like just so happy andlike couldn't believe it.
Like this is basically what I'mgonna be doing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna likewhenever I want, I can just go
out, walk around, go anywhere,do anything.
Uh so yeah, I think probablyjust getting out a a lot more in
that first uh while and I stilldo that a lot a lot.
But that was like a big one.
It was like, okay, now I like Ican just do anything during the
day.
I don't, I'm not in the officelike nine to five all the time.
(11:25):
And if it's a beautiful day, I'mnot looking out a window wishing
I was outside.
SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
Does your day-to-day look the same today?
So so first Tuesday afterretiring, you're just walking
and you're smiling the wholetime because it's just so new.
You're eight months now, eightmonths in now.
Are you still waking up andwalking?
What does the routine look liketoday that it maybe didn't look
like day one?
SPEAKER_00 (11:46):
Yeah, yeah, it's probably like pretty similar.
I think I kind of feel like it,you know, I'm still like maybe
this will be like I I imagineprobably as I am not retired for
longer, I'll be going throughphases.
This is, I feel like still I'vebeen at that first phase of like
I kind of do the same things.
Like I get up, I usually uh, youknow, do some exercise in the
morning, work on the computer.
I've got lots of like, you know,like uh computer projects, like
(12:08):
programming projects and thingsthat I kind of work on, and then
you know, have some lunch andthen go for a walk.
And yeah, so I kind of like sooften, yeah, and go for a walk.
And yeah, maybe I'll go see amovie in the afternoon, uh,
stuff like that.
So I think it hasn't changedsignificantly.
I think maybe it's become I I'mdefinitely very like
routine-oriented.
So I kind of follow kind of thesame routine, kind of every day
(12:30):
or variations of routines oncertain days and stuff.
So yeah, I feel like it hasn'tactually evolved significantly,
but I do feel like probablythere, you know, will be a time
when, you know, basically maybeI go to some other phase where
maybe I change some other thing,some of the ways I'm operating.
SPEAKER_01 (12:46):
If you can rewind uh 12 months ago, so you weren't
yet retired, you're about fourmonths out.
Is what life looks like todaywhat you imagined it would look
like going into retirement, ordid you have a different vision
for what the day-to-day mightlook like?
SPEAKER_00 (13:01):
Yeah, I think probably the biggest thing that
hasn't really come uh to furtherthe way I thought it would was
travel.
Like I do travel uh like usuallyonce a month, I'll travel
somewhere like in North Americaor or you know, something kind
of small.
But uh yeah, before I before Ileft my job, I was like, I'm
gonna do all the travel, I'mgonna go to Europe for a month,
and I'm gonna like go here or gothere.
They had really big travelplans.
(13:22):
So I was I would have envisionedI would be like living somewhere
or like staying somewhereoverseas for like a couple
months.
And I haven't really done thatyet.
And I that's kind of still onthe plan.
That's when I talk about thephases.
Maybe the next phase I'm doingmore traveling.
But I've been happy just becauseI've really enjoyed uh kind of
decompressing from work, doingall the things around kind of
(13:44):
where I live in my in my homeand in the city that I kind of
had wanted to do over over thepast many years.
I'm kind of just like enjoyingthat and not like pressuring
myself to go and like jump intodoing a bunch of travel just
yet.
Um and you know, that'll come.
But right now I'm I'm yeah, moreand just like kind of doing you
know stuff around aroundlocally.
SPEAKER_01 (14:03):
Yeah.
How old were you when youretired, Darren?
Uh 54.
How many of your friends orpeople that you worked with are
retired, given that you'reretired at a young age?
SPEAKER_00 (14:15):
Yeah, uh maybe two.
I'm not that many.
Yeah, I know maybe two peopledirectly that uh kind of my
peers that that have retired.
SPEAKER_01 (14:22):
Has that been a challenge, being retired, having
all the free time in the world,but a lot of your peers are
still working?
SPEAKER_00 (14:29):
Yeah, yeah, it definitely means like the
weekdays and the weekends aredifferent because weekdays
everybody's kind of working.
So, you know, you kind of are onyour own a lot, which is which
I'm fine with.
I like just uh you know beingwith my thoughts.
Uh but yeah, it's definitelyharder to find people to do
things with.
And like, you know, if I go ontrips, I will, you know, I can
go in the middle of the week, Ican go anytime, but not
everybody can can do that.
(14:51):
People want to do things overthe weekend.
So yeah, so it does mean kind ofweekdays and weekends.
I sort of have kind of likedifferent some different
activities because it's youknow, uh, you know, there's more
people available to hang out onweekends.
Uh so yeah, it's been a littlebit of a challenge, but like I
say, it doesn't really botherme.
I don't mind uh doing things onmy own.
I'm pretty happy doing that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:06):
Yeah.
I want to go back to what yousaid at the very beginning about
surreal being the word that youwould describe retirement.
Is surreal to you more of thethe life that you get to live
and how happy you are, or is itjust surreal this fact that you
spent 30 years building up thisportfolio planning for this
moment, and now that moment'sarrived, and it just is hard to
fully grasp that.
SPEAKER_00 (15:27):
Yeah, I think I think it's just yeah, the you
know, I guess more more aboutthe my life.
Like now, my you know, the uhplan that was so theoretical for
so long now is basically this,and like this is what my life
could be like forever if I wantit to be.
Uh so it's very nice, and I cancraft my life to be whatever I
want, whatever I want it to benow.
Uh, you know, I have the freedomto to kind of do whatever I
(15:49):
want.
Uh so yeah, I think that's kindof like just the uh yeah, just
feeling very lucky and likeprivileged that I'm able to was
able to retire so early and uhnow just kind of do what I want.
SPEAKER_01 (16:02):
Yeah.
I know you mentioned thatthere's the re-org, and that's
what was the final thing thatpushed you into retirement, but
you enjoyed work.
Is there any aspect of you thatmisses work or misses the
structure or misses co-workersor misses any aspect of that
previous job?
SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
Uh yeah, I think um not as much as I would have
thought.
I would have thought maybe Imissed a whole like a bunch of
things about like have you knowseeing people every day, being
in the workplace, uh, because Idid go into the office and I
liked going into the officeseeing people, but uh I still uh
do meet up with my co-workers.
I go back into the officeactually like once once a month
usually to see them.
Uh so yeah, probably the biggestthing is like not being able to
(16:43):
see my coworkers as oftenbecause I did I did like my
coworkers.
But other than that, nothing,nothing really.
I you know, like I did like myjob and I felt it was, you know,
I I like the type of work I did,but like I didn't feel like uh,
you know, it wasn't fulfillingin a way that feel like I'm
missing some some you know, somepiece of my life of the actual
work that I was doing.
So yeah, so not that muchactually.
(17:04):
Surprisingly, that is a surprisetoo.
SPEAKER_01 (17:06):
Yeah.
Um, one of the things that yousaid earlier was it sounded like
you talked to a lot of peoplebefore actually retiring and
they gave you feedback of, oh,are you gonna be bored or oh,
are you gonna miss a structure?
Oh, are did you feel like yougot how how accurate was a lot
of the advice that you felt likeyou got from friends or
coworkers or whoever you werespeaking to?
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
Yeah.
Uh I think probably because Igot a not a lot, but a couple
warnings of people like, oh, youknow, you know, it's it's gonna
you're gonna be bored, or youknow, uh, or like you could be
bored, or didn't, you know, likepeople that were hesitant.
Like so.
SPEAKER_01 (17:36):
And were these retired people, Darren?
Were these people who'd alreadyretired or people starting?
SPEAKER_00 (17:40):
A mix.
A mix, yeah.
I think one, I think one retiredperson said something along
those lines, and and othernon-retired people, like triple
people said, you know, areraised those kind of sentiments
as well.
So yeah, I think there would,yeah.
So I think that kind of was apretty uh common piece piece of
potential feedback, which is whyI was concerned about it.
Uh, but I think, like I say, forme personally, that hasn't been
(18:03):
a problem.
I I certainly could see thatbeing a problem for some people,
but for me, uh that I was like,you know, and I also felt like
if that's gonna be the case, thesooner I find out about it, the
better.
Right.
And the only way to really Ididn't know if that's gonna be
the a problem is to just jumpinto it.
So I'm like, I'm young now.
If I did uh start getting superbored, I could just go back to
work or I could, you know, findsome other thing uh to do.
(18:25):
And so I'd rather know now thatI need to like readjust myself
because at some point I'm gonnahave to stop working.
At some point I'm gonna have touh be prepared for this.
So you know, might as wellfigure it out now.
SPEAKER_01 (18:35):
Well, that that I think you're starting to answer
my next question is how did youemotionally prepare for that?
I mean, you know this moment'sgonna be surreal.
You know you've been planningfor this moment for 30 years.
There's aspects of your job thatyou truly did enjoy.
You have friends or colleaguesgiving you feedback that you're
gonna be bored, don't do it.
I would imagine you're tooyoung, you've got so you've got
good earnings years in front ofyou.
(18:56):
How much more could you do?
How did you emotionally prepareyourself to say, you know what,
I'm just gonna do it when itsounds like there's maybe a good
number of voices and rationalreasons not to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:06):
Yeah, yeah.
I wouldn't say a lot of peoplesaying it, but they're
definitely that kind offeedback.
Uh, but yeah, I think mainly I Ithink emotionally, or I guess
because of this window, thislike good timing for me to leave
at work, I just really felt likethat was that was kind of giving
me like calmness or likeconfidence that it was the right
thing to do because I'm like, ifI don't do it now, it's it's I'm
(19:28):
gonna miss the window and I'mgonna I'll regret it.
Like I, you know, I I uh youknow, I didn't know I was
actually gonna like resign untillike the day I booked the man
the meeting with my manager, Iwas like, you know, I was always
like, I'm 90% sure, I'm 90%sure, but I was like, I just
pulling the actually pulling thetrigger is like really
difficult.
Uh so you know, it's obviously abig decision to make.
So yeah, I was kind of like,until I actually booked the
(19:49):
meeting and sat down and told mymanager I wasn't actually sure I
was gonna do it, but I reallyhad a feeling that uh if I
didn't do it and take advantageof this opportunity in and I
would be kicking myself in twomonths or three months.
Uh so yeah, I kind of felt likejust everything was aligned
enough that made me feelconfident that it was the right
decision to make and and youknow take the risk.
How did your manager take thenews?
(20:12):
Uh good.
Yeah, she was really good aboutit.
Yeah, she was, of course,disappointed, but uh that I was
leaving.
But uh yeah, was like, you know,very supportive about, you know,
basically the, you know, me notbeing having to work and stuff.
So yeah, it was quite good.
They did ask me to stay a littlebit longer than I had
anticipated, but since I didn'treally have any specific place
to be, I like stuck around alittle a little longer than I
(20:34):
than I had expected.
But that was great because I hadlots of time to say goodbye to
people and to wrap things up uheven more and stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (20:40):
You know, one thing that um what was interesting to
me as I started working withclients in this phase of life is
there's the fear of retirementthat people have.
But then once they make thedecision to do that, there's a
real fear of letting your bossdown or letting your team down
or letting your company downthat a lot of people feel.
Did you feel any of that?
Of oh, what are they am Iletting them down?
(21:01):
How did how did you wrestle withthose emotions?
SPEAKER_00 (21:04):
Yeah, that was tough.
I, you know, really in mythird-year career, I only had
two jobs.
So I only ever resigned from twojobs.
So I wasn't like very good at itor wasn't very used to of having
to resign.
So I was very nervous about it.
And you know, I was moving tothis new project that was kind
of a high profile, likeimportant project.
Now I and my manager was reallyrelying on me to like work on
(21:24):
that project.
So I knew that would have beenthat was like not ideal.
So I was like, yeah, I was quitenervous coming into it.
Uh, but you know, uh at the endof the day, I knew it was, knew
it was the right thing to do.
And then, like I said, you know,she was very supportive and
like, you know, it went, it wentquite well.
It was uh it was, you know, shejust helped help me a lot
through it to make sure that itwas as smooth as possible.
SPEAKER_01 (21:43):
Yeah.
I think this is an importanttheme to pick up, even as people
are listening, is you had thesefears, you had these concerns,
you had these unknowns, whetherit's about retirement, whether
it's about the finances, whetherit's about how do you let them
know.
But there is a sense of what I'mhearing is if not now, when type
of a thing, or I can always goback if this doesn't work out.
(22:03):
I can always make you can't getthese years back though if you
don't do that.
SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And the other thing was I had Iactually had a red line in the
sand, which was 55.
I said they will not work past55.
Uh like so, regardless of howthings are like timing at work
or other things, I'm like, Ijust have to stop at some point.
Uh, you know, like yeah, it'syou know, I since I hit all my
financial goals, what is keepingme going?
You know, and it's inertia justthat's gonna keep me going.
(22:29):
And at some point, you youreally have no idea how long
you're gonna have your health,you're gonna have, you know,
things can change so quickly.
So I'm like, uh, you know, ifthere's no reason for me to
financially be working, uh,then, you know, I should I
really owe it to myself to liketake the uh take the jump and do
it.
And then yeah, like I say, if itdoesn't work out, I could always
consider going back and then Ihave to figure out what the
future looks like from there.
(22:50):
Um, but yeah, but like I said,55 was really the hard deadline.
I'm like, I'm not gonna go backto 55.
Uh so even if I hadn't quitearlier this year, I would have
I would have uh quit uh you knowlater in the year.
SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
How much I I've talked to several people who
that probably not too dissimilarfrom you, but have hit their
number.
They have enough.
They run the projections, theprojections look good, the Monte
Carlo looks good, the stresstest looks good.
But there's something aboutretiring in their 50s that
doesn't feel right becauseSocial Security is not kicking
in, or they don't yet haveMedicare.
And it doesn't matter how muchwe model out the fact that your
(23:22):
investments can support this,you can get other medical
coverage.
There's still this mental blockof it.
It's hard to know that yourinvestments are what you're
fully living off of.
Did you experience any of that,or did hitting your number give
you the reassurance that youwere good regardless?
SPEAKER_00 (23:38):
Yeah, definitely that is a concern.
I mean, you know, yeah, youdon't have a paycheck covered
every week or month at everytime now you have to pay for
healthcare.
That's like a big, a big change.
Uh I think probably like I hadmentioned earlier with the
mortgage, once I get rid of themortgage, the mortgage is you
know, a big monthly payment, andI'm like, well, once I get rid
of the mortgage, that money thatI would have been putting
towards the mortgage nowessentially will easily cover my
(23:58):
healthcare costs or my likeinsurance health insurance.
So I'm kind of like, I don'twant to have too big these, you
know, like I don't want to addanother expense.
But if I can get rid of themortgage expense, then basically
uh I feel more comfortable withlike having this increased
expense with healthcare.
Um but yeah, definitely that'sthat's a that's a a bit of a
it's you know a tough one havingto all of a sudden pay for pay
for healthcare.
SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
Yeah.
Um changing gears a little bit,Darren, I find that sometimes
when people retire, they they'reso used to the day-to-day, the
busyness, they have deadlines,they have jobs, high stress.
There's not a lot of time tojust even explore the really
bigger questions of life.
Who am I?
What do I like doing?
Is there they almost don't knowwho they are by the time they
(24:39):
actually retire.
Have you learned anything aboutyourself that surprised you in
these past eight months of nothaving that corporate job
anymore?
SPEAKER_00 (24:48):
Yeah, I guess yeah, I I don't think any huge
surprises.
I think I kind of uh it kind ofturned out the way I kind of
expected, which is a surprise inof itself, because I wasn't sure
it was gonna was gonna turn outuh kind of well where I was like
enjoying it so much.
Yeah.
I think maybe one thing is thatI uh even though I, like I said,
(25:09):
I'm generally pretty routineoriented.
So I always do have like a listof things I want to do every
day.
And I still find myself likerushing around to do like I have
this thing to do it, I have thisthing to do.
And so I kind of make this likefalse stress for myself or some
of these like false deadlines.
So I also have to like stopmyself and go, like, what are
you doing?
Like you're you don't need to bestressed by things.
Like, don't like schedule twothings to do, and there are
(25:32):
three things to do in a day,like spread it out through the
week.
Don't you know, meet somebodyfor lunch and you have to get a
haircut and then you're gonna gosee a movie, and like I don't
need to do three things a day, Ican just do one thing a day.
So I felt like yeah, I feel likemaybe one thing is I kind of am
trying to like likesubconsciously introduce more
stress kind of back to my life,and I have to like purposely go
like, why are you doing that?
You know, just relax.
Uh, there's no you don't need tobe rushing around all the time.
(25:53):
Um uh yeah, just enjoy it andnot not not you know, not not
cause yourself uh unnecessarygrief.
SPEAKER_01 (26:00):
Yeah, yeah, love it.
Um going back to what I said alittle bit before, one thing
that strikes me about you isyou've you have felt all the
same fears and concerns andmaybe the anxieties that people
leave in this position feel, butyou went ahead and did it
anyways.
Is there a piece of advice youwould give to the audience or
something you would tell them,whether it's how to emotionally
(26:20):
prepare, how to financiallyprepare, how to psychologically
prepare?
What advice would you givepeople who are sitting maybe in
your shoes 12 months ago andknowing financially I can do
this?
I like work, I don't love it,but I don't know if I can bring
myself to actually do the scarything and tell my boss I'm gonna
go retire.
SPEAKER_00 (26:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I'd say like, youknow, it's not I, you know, I
don't, I don't even really likelike to use the retirement, uh,
the word retirement.
I genuinely tried to say stopworking.
And when I left my work, Ididn't tell people I was
retiring.
I told people I was taking ayear off, uh, which was
potentially true.
I didn't know if I was onlygonna take a year off.
So, you know, to me, I even dosee a possibility of the future
where I might uh work again insome capacity, like I uh like
(27:03):
part-time or contract work orsomething like that, if I felt
if an opportunity came along andI felt like I wanted to do it.
Um so yeah, so I feel like, youknow, it is a big step to make,
but uh I think the sooner you doyou if you can do it, you kind
of owe it to yourself to do it.
And then don't consider it theend of the line.
You do have, you know, you havethere's still lots of
opportunity to work and thingsyou can do.
(27:24):
Um so uh yeah, so I think youknow, for me, uh I I felt the
soonest sooner I could do it thebetter.
And you know, but you you canalways readjust later if you
need to, as long as you havedone the due diligence of your
finances.
So if like you truly don't needto work again, then you kind of
owe it to yourself, I think, totake the opportunity and do it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
I I'm serious.
I I think there's more wisdom towhat you just said, even that
I'm realizing for the first timein some ways, that the way we
frame things really matters.
And if this is framed asretirement, there's a certain
amount of both finality to thatthat can be very scary.
And there's this level ofDarren's like retirement carries
this connotation of I'm I'mdone, I'm not working hard
(28:08):
anymore, I'm just I'm retiringand you know, just lounge off in
this life of nothingness now.
But you're pursuing your healthlike you've never pursued.
You're doing these things thatyou've never been.
So there's this sense that youcan still maintain this life
full of vigor and excitement andadventure.
It just is different than whatlife looked like before.
So I think that what I'm hearingyou say is the way you frame it
(28:29):
is really important.
I think there's actually achargement of wisdom in that
that this isn't our final.
This is not setting anything instone.
And this isn't saying it's theend of the line for you.
This is the beginning of a brandnew adventure that can be filled
with far more joy and structureand community and all the above
if you approach it the right wayand if you make the commitment
(28:49):
to doing it.
SPEAKER_00 (28:50):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, you know, yeah,retirement's a nice shorthand
because people understand itwhen you say it, but like uh and
it's complicated to be seg well,you know, adding a lot of uh,
you know, qualifiers to things.
But yeah, I I'm like, you know,who knows what, like I say, I'm
in phase one, who knows whatphase two or phase three looks
like.
And, you know, now I'm youngenough that I can, you know, I
still have other things that Icould do.
(29:11):
So I feel, you know, whileyou've got your health, uh, you
know, you know, do it and thenjust figure it out.
SPEAKER_01 (29:17):
Yeah.
Um, Darren, thank you very muchfor all this.
If if you could tell theaudience any final words, any
final words of wisdom of whythey should retire earlier.
I'm using that word retire.
I know we said just don't useit, but it's why they should
potentially consider leavingtheir current employers early.
What kind of words of wisdomwould you give them?
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
Uh yeah, yeah.
I guess uh, like I said, I'dprobably recommend, you know,
doing it as soon as you can, butalways make sure you're doing
your due diligence.
And, you know, so I guess uhweigh the pros and cons.
Like there's a practical side ofit.
If you work longer and you savemore money, you're gonna be more
comfortable versus, you know, soyou have to find that balance
for yourself of like how, youknow, when uh you know, when I
(29:58):
was like looking at at uhretiring.
I also looked at like you knowmoving to lower cost uh places
of living or you're movingoverseas to lower cost places
like I looked at kind of all thespectrum of what is available to
you.
So yeah so I think basicallyit's up to you yourself to like
understand your comfort comfortlevel when you feel like you can
retire.
And to me, once you feelconfident you could retire in
(30:20):
the manner that you feel uh youknow financially uh that fits
your lifestyle, you kind of oweit to yourself to do it.
Uh so I would I would encourageI would encourage people
encourage people to do it.
SPEAKER_01 (30:30):
Yeah.
Well very good Darren thank youso much.
Thank you for joining me on thisepisode of Retirement Reality.
Appreciate you sharing uh howthe last eight months have gone
and best of luck for everythingahead.
Great yeah thank you for havingme
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Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com