March 4, 2024 • 17 mins
Did you know that only 8% of people follow through on their new year's resolutions? Yup. Not so hot, is it?
But that's ok, my friend! In this episode you'll learn to be self-compassionate and revise your goals/intentions/resolutions so that they are BETTER and more doable.
Have a listen!
If you're looking for help and accountability in this, I can help!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, hello, everyone, andwelcome back to Real, Brave, and
(00:03):
Unstoppable.
I forget what episode this is,but it doesn't really matter.
You can see it in the title.
But this is the episode thatyou've been waiting for, your
guide to creating sustainablegoals or New Year's resolutions
or whatever you might wanna callit.
I'm getting this episode out alittle later than I wanted to,
(00:25):
but it is February.
And most of people that have setNew Year's resolutions or goals
or whatever by now have fallenoff the wagon.
So it's like it's a very smallpercentage of people who
actually follow through.
So if that's you, this is theepisode for you.
(00:47):
New Year's resolutions are kindof a loaded topic, wouldn't you
say?
I mean, we're kind of a cultureof people who are always looking
for improvement and growth, yet,like I said, the majority of
people don't stick toresolutions.
So if you set them, like I likeI said before, like, you may
have already ditched them.
I decided to do this episodeactually after seeing the
(01:10):
slogan, new year, new you,approximately 5 gazillion times
over the end of December andthroughout January.
And I totally hate that slogan.
Like, what what's wrong with theold you?
To me, that suggests that you'resomething to be fixed.
Next.
I also saw many graphics withthe word new crossed out or
(01:33):
replaced by better, new year,better you.
And, again, there's nothingwrong with being better, wanting
to be better, but it stilldoesn't really feel right to me.
I like something that sort ofspeaks a little bit more to
acceptance.
And when I say acceptance, itdoesn't mean you can't wanna
improve yourself, but, like,it's accepting the person that
you are along the way.
Right?
(01:53):
So then I saw the perfectslogan, which was new year true
you.
So I thought that was beautiful.
Because what if we all aspire tobe true to ourselves, uh, to
make choices that align with ourvalues?
Sounds amazing.
Right?
And even in the attainment ofgoals, like how we treat
ourselves as we grow towards ourgoals, how we assess progress
(02:15):
and all of that stuff.
Instead of looking to what theoutside world has to say about
that, what if we were to lookinward?
So since I love statistics, bysome estimates, according to an
article in Time magazine online,as many as 80 percent of people
quit their New Year'sresolutions by February.
(02:38):
Only 8 percent of people stickwith them the entire year.
So why even set them?
Or more importantly, maybe, whyare those numbers so grim?
Because people they'll set themin a way that's not sustainable,
motivating, or inspiring.
They don't connect theirresolutions to their core values
(02:58):
or what's really important tothem or even how they want what
they're working towards to makethem feel.
Because, really, that's the onlyreason we ever do something,
Right?
It's because we think it'll makeus feel a certain way.
So the resolutions aren't reallyauthentic or true to who they
are.
1 thing that I see in women,maybe not just women, but my
(03:20):
experience talking about myexperience.
And so I I see this sometimes inmyself too, is is that when we
hit our mid to late forties, westart to notice some of the
changes that passing timebrings, like weight gain,
wrinkles, grays, less energy,brain fog, you know, stuff like
that.
And we tend to really focus onthat stuff, how it makes us feel
not as attractive, not as sexy,irrelevant, unnoticeable.
(03:45):
And me and it becomes a problembecause we're letting what we
don't like overshadow all of thegood that is there.
aNd the number of women that Italk to who wanna lose weight is
also astounding at any age.
And I've been there too.
I totally get it.
We're socialized that there's acertain number on the scale that
signals that we meet to thatstandard for beauty or even
(04:06):
health that the world has setforth for us.
Right?
And we're told that that, like,number or that standard equals
worth.
It's annoying to put it mildly.
But really getting older and,like, living at any age is
really about feeling good,having energy to live the life
that you Wanna Live, feelingcomfortable in your own skin,
(04:28):
managing emotions without food,feeling strong and empowered,
and etcetera, etcetera.
So if you're thinking, oh, Iwish I I wish I were thinner.
It's never about the weight orbeing thinner, really.
It's about feeling good, feelinghealthy, feeling strong.
And maybe I'm generalizing, butI think that most people would
agree that if they were living ahealthy life and felt great at a
(04:52):
a particular weight or shape.
It wouldn't necessarily matterthat they hit the number that's
in their mind on the scale.
So bringing this back to goals.
A lot of women and men too setgoals around their appearance-
losing weight, getting in shape,things like that.
And these types of goals aresome that people tend to quit
(05:12):
the fastest.
Or maybe you have another typeof goal or intention or
resolution that you kind of letgo of.
So let's talk about how you canget back on track in a way
that's gonna work for you.
I have a few tips that I thinkyou'll find really helpful.
So first of all, we have to setbetter goals.
(05:33):
Most people set kind of randomarbitrary goals, intentions or
resolutions.
For example, I had a goal formany years to lose enough weight
to weigh the same as I did whenI was 25.
That was my wait before I hadkids.
What was that number based on?
Uh, that would be nothing.
It had no basis.
So the goal had no why that madeany sense at all.
(05:56):
Was I happy with my body at 25?
No.
I wasn't even happy with my bodyat 25.
So why the hell would I evencare if I was that weight?
So I kinda pulled that goal outof thin air and didn't really
think about the reality of it orwhy I would even like, why or
what it would take to get there,let alone sustain it.
(06:16):
And most people don't thinkabout this.
So you want your goals to feellike a hell yes.
Like, you want your goals tofeel exciting and that they're
driven from within.
Not like what you think otherpeople will say about you go you
know, going after something oreven achieving it.
So what does that look like?
Well, here's the thing that I'velearned in the last few years is
(06:39):
and I I coach a lot of peoplearound.
well, that's the first thingthat I do when I work with
someone as we talk about goals.
And, uh, most of the time, wewill do, like, some work around
values.
So I like to start with thevalues first.
What's really important to you?
Because, if we don't havesomething meaningful behind a
goal.
It's gonna be really hard toreach it.
(07:01):
When you're connecting with yourvalues, like, asking yourself,
like, how do you feel why isthat desirable?
What's possible when you'realigned with what's really true
for you that isn't when you'renot aligned?
So I also like to ask thequestion about aliveness.
What goal feels alive?
Like, visioning is reallyimportant here too.
(07:21):
asking questions like, what willbe available to me when I hit
that goal that isn't availableto me right now?
So when I do this work withpeople, like, we dig really
deep.
And what I found was that mostpeople say, for example, like, I
wanna get in shape and end uprealizing that their goal isn't
really about the weight.
It's about, like, confidence orhealth or having more energy or
(07:44):
strength or just feeling moreempowered.
A few years ago, I did a NewYear's challenge called goals
with soul.
And this was based on DanielleLaPorte's book, the desire map
where she talks about herprocess of setting goals based
on core desired feelings.
After all, like like I saidearlier, the only reason we
wanna achieve something isbecause how we think it will
(08:06):
make us feel.
So I not start there.
So setting goals based on what'simportant to you and how you
wanna feel.
That is gonna help you.
Like, it's gonna help you form areally solid why.
And we need that to be able to,find meaning in those goals and
to stay on track.
Okay.
Moving on.
(08:27):
Number 2.
Are your goals realistic?
This is important.
I mentioned earlier that formany years, 1 of my goals was to
lose enough weight to weigh whatI did before I had kids.
Well, I was, like, 40.
That's probably not superrealistic.
(08:47):
Or even in my mid forties, I hadthat goal.
And then I realized, That'sprobably not super realistic or
sustainable.
But when I set goals withclients, I always ask, like, on
a scale of 1 to 10, how doable,or how likely do you think
you're able to reach this, inthe time frame we're looking at.
And if doability is anythingless than 7, like, we go back to
(09:10):
the drawing board and tweak thegoal until the believability or
the doability is, like, 7 orhigher.
You know, if your if your goalis to read a hundred books this
year.
You have to look at how manybooks that means you have to
read per week, which is about 2.
Some people for some people,that's totally doable, but
there's that's a lot of booksfor most people.
So if I ask you if 2 books aweek is realistic and you say
(09:31):
it's 50 50, we wanna tweak thatgoal.
Otherwise, it's gonna feelreally overwhelming, and our
brains don't like to feeloverwhelmed.
Motivation wanes and peoplequit.
So if you wanna set a goalaround reading books, like, you
ask yourself, like, what do Ithink you know, it might be a
little stretch, but 7 or 8 outof 10.
(09:52):
Like, what do you think that or9 or 10, but, like, what what's
the likelihood that I I thinkyou know, what's the
believability of, like, like,can I succeed at this?
Setting a goal where you'resaying, yeah, I probably am not
gonna reach this.
What's the point?
It.
Right?
Okay.
So number 3, are your goalsrelevant?
(10:15):
This is a little bit related tothe number 1 that, like, you
know, about, you just have toset better goals that are
related to values and, how youwanna feel.
But, just asking yourself, iswhat you're going after
something you actually careabout?
Like, is the work you'll put ingoing to benefit you in some
way.
Is the goal internally driven,or is it driven by the potential
(10:37):
of a lot of external validation?
Like, that's a really importantthing.
And, again, it's it really kindagoes with the first bullet
point.
Okay.
So number 4 is to have a plan.
This is probably the thing thattrips people up the most.
If you set a goal and don't lookat how you're gonna get there,
the likelihood of getting thereis not so great.
(10:57):
So last week, I coached theclient on overwhelm and anxiety
because his to do list was huge.
And he didn't have a plan toknock things off of it, so he
kept procrastinating doinganything.
So, of course, that just made itworse because the to do list
kept growing, and he felttotally out of control and
really, like, overwhelmed anddisempowered.
So we literally went through andbrain dumped all the things he
(11:20):
had on his mental list into aGoogle Doc.
For every item on his to dolist, we came up with all of
the, uh, like, subtasks that,you know, that item was made up
of.
And we kept chunking these itemsdown into little tasks as far as
we could go.
His list had a lot of thingsthat were actually contingent on
something else getting done.
So with this level of, like,chunking this down.
(11:43):
He was able to prioritize andfocus on the next step in front
of him rather than seeing, like,all of the steps and getting
overwhelmed.
So same thing with goals.
You need to be able to identifythe next action steps that will
get you closer to your goalbecause seeing all the steps
isn't necessarily helpful in themoment.
You need to break it down andkind of reverse engineer how
(12:03):
you'll get there.
So number 5 related to this...
This is related.
Focus on really tiny short termgoals if you're having a hard
time staying on track.
I recently listened to a podcastthat talked about Navy SEALs and
the mindset training that theygo through.
And 1 of the things they talkabout is, having really tiny
(12:25):
short term goals.
Basically, this is breakingthings up into, like, these
minuscule little sub goals.
So, like, if you're like, NavySeals, if they're, like, in a
really tough situation, they'renot thinking about the entire
mission.
They're thinking about eachstep.
So, for example, like, if youhave a hard time getting up in
the morning to work out, focuson each step of getting there.
(12:47):
That's a a mini goal.
So number 1.
You hear your alarm going off.
Okay.
My goal is to get out of bed.
Okay.
And then I get out of bed.
Next goal.
My goal is to to the bathroomand brush my teeth.
Okay.
Done.
Next goal, put on my workoutclothes.
Done.
Okay.
Next goal is get on my shoes.
Okay.
(13:07):
Done.
You get the idea.
Right?
So it's, like, every littlestep.
You're hyper focusing on that 1little thing.
The and the point is that we'rejust looking at the tiniest of
steps as goals, and then we'resetting a new 1 once we reach
it.
Because, like, small steps addup to really big progress.
Also, this strategy works superwell if you're under a lot of
(13:30):
stress or dealing with a lot ofemotions.
It's like just focusing on thetiniest little thing can be
really helpful.
So, number 6, and this isactually my last 1, is tracking
progress, reviewing, you know,course correcting your plan, and
also celebrating your wins alongthe way, even the really small
ones.
(13:50):
Don't get wrapped up in what youdidn't do.
That's where the negativefeelings like guilt for not
having done something we thoughtwe were supposed to do come in.
And there's nothing wrong withthe feeling itself, but if we
don't take time to unhook fromthat and normalize it, we can
get stuck in a very unhelpfuland unproductive place.
It's okay to have the feeling,but just accept you're having it
(14:12):
and move on towards your biggerpicture.
We tend to get locked into agoal and see tweaking it or
changing it as failure.
But we change.
Life changes.
Circumstances change.
And sometimes times our goalsaren't even relevant or really
even desirable anymore.
So it's okay to let go of a goalif the process of reaching it
isn't bringing you the feelingyou want or even important to
(14:33):
you anymore.
It's really important to checkon progress frequently too.
Like, where are you?
Do do you feel like you know, isyour plan working?
Where are you getting trippedup?
Like, how can you tweak how youget over obstacles?
and then also, super importantto celebrate your progress.
Okay?
So you need to look at, and andI have a client right now who's
(14:55):
doing that every day.
He's looking at just a couplelittle wins for the day.
So he's he's starting because hetends to be really judgmental on
himself.
Because he doesn't get all hisbig tasks done.
So his challenge for the week isto, every day after work, just
make a little short list of afew things that were, like,
accomplishments, even if they'retiny.
(15:16):
So it trains your brain to lookat that side of things because
our brains don't naturally dothat.
So, really important to do that.
I highly recommend keeping,like, a journal or a a Google
Doc or something, and you canput those in there because then
you can go back and see seethat.
I don't think it's reallynecessarily enough to mentally
check-in with it because youforget.
(15:37):
So I think it's really helpfulto write it down.
So, anyway, friends, that is itfor this episode.
Just remember, you're not aloneif you falling off the wagon
with all your New Year's goals.
Like, in fact, you're in themajority.
So just remember that.
It's totally normal, but you cancourse correct, you can get back
on track.
So hopefully, these tips arehelpful to you in regrouping and
(15:59):
setting some goals that arealigned with your values and
creating a plan to reach themthat is sustainable and doable.
If you have any questions aboutanything, please feel free to
reach out.
I'm happy to talk about thisstuff with you.
And, finally, if you're enjoyingthe show or enjoyed this
episode, I would reallyappreciate it if you could go to
(16:19):
whatever streaming serviceyou're listening to this podcast
on and leave a 5 star rating anda review for me.
It's the best way to help otherpeople find the show, and that's
what we want.
So thanks again, friends, and Iwill see you next time.
Well, hello, everyone, andwelcome back to Real, Brave, and
(00:03):
Unstoppable.
I forget what episode this is,but it doesn't really matter.
You can see it in the title.
But this is the episode thatyou've been waiting for, your
guide to creating sustainablegoals or New Year's resolutions
or whatever you might wanna callit.
I'm getting this episode out alittle later than I wanted to,
(00:25):
but it is February.
And most of people that have setNew Year's resolutions or goals
or whatever by now have fallenoff the wagon.
So it's like it's a very smallpercentage of people who
actually follow through.
So if that's you, this is theepisode for you.
(00:47):
New Year's resolutions are kindof a loaded topic, wouldn't you
say?
I mean, we're kind of a cultureof people who are always looking
for improvement and growth, yet,like I said, the majority of
people don't stick toresolutions.
So if you set them, like I likeI said before, like, you may
have already ditched them.
I decided to do this episodeactually after seeing the
(01:10):
slogan, new year, new you,approximately 5 gazillion times
over the end of December andthroughout January.
And I totally hate that slogan.
Like, what what's wrong with theold you?
To me, that suggests that you'resomething to be fixed.
Next.
I also saw many graphics withthe word new crossed out or
(01:33):
replaced by better, new year,better you.
And, again, there's nothingwrong with being better, wanting
to be better, but it stilldoesn't really feel right to me.
I like something that sort ofspeaks a little bit more to
acceptance.
And when I say acceptance, itdoesn't mean you can't wanna
improve yourself, but, like,it's accepting the person that
you are along the way.
Right?
(01:53):
So then I saw the perfectslogan, which was new year true
you.
So I thought that was beautiful.
Because what if we all aspire tobe true to ourselves, uh, to
make choices that align with ourvalues?
Sounds amazing.
Right?
And even in the attainment ofgoals, like how we treat
ourselves as we grow towards ourgoals, how we assess progress
(02:15):
and all of that stuff.
Instead of looking to what theoutside world has to say about
that, what if we were to lookinward?
So since I love statistics, bysome estimates, according to an
article in Time magazine online,as many as 80 percent of people
quit their New Year'sresolutions by February.
(02:38):
Only 8 percent of people stickwith them the entire year.
So why even set them?
Or more importantly, maybe, whyare those numbers so grim?
Because people they'll set themin a way that's not sustainable,
motivating, or inspiring.
They don't connect theirresolutions to their core values
(02:58):
or what's really important tothem or even how they want what
they're working towards to makethem feel.
Because, really, that's the onlyreason we ever do something,
Right?
It's because we think it'll makeus feel a certain way.
So the resolutions aren't reallyauthentic or true to who they
are.
1 thing that I see in women,maybe not just women, but my
(03:20):
experience talking about myexperience.
And so I I see this sometimes inmyself too, is is that when we
hit our mid to late forties, westart to notice some of the
changes that passing timebrings, like weight gain,
wrinkles, grays, less energy,brain fog, you know, stuff like
that.
And we tend to really focus onthat stuff, how it makes us feel
not as attractive, not as sexy,irrelevant, unnoticeable.
(03:45):
And me and it becomes a problembecause we're letting what we
don't like overshadow all of thegood that is there.
aNd the number of women that Italk to who wanna lose weight is
also astounding at any age.
And I've been there too.
I totally get it.
We're socialized that there's acertain number on the scale that
signals that we meet to thatstandard for beauty or even
(04:06):
health that the world has setforth for us.
Right?
And we're told that that, like,number or that standard equals
worth.
It's annoying to put it mildly.
But really getting older and,like, living at any age is
really about feeling good,having energy to live the life
that you Wanna Live, feelingcomfortable in your own skin,
(04:28):
managing emotions without food,feeling strong and empowered,
and etcetera, etcetera.
So if you're thinking, oh, Iwish I I wish I were thinner.
It's never about the weight orbeing thinner, really.
It's about feeling good, feelinghealthy, feeling strong.
And maybe I'm generalizing, butI think that most people would
agree that if they were living ahealthy life and felt great at a
(04:52):
a particular weight or shape.
It wouldn't necessarily matterthat they hit the number that's
in their mind on the scale.
So bringing this back to goals.
A lot of women and men too setgoals around their appearance-
losing weight, getting in shape,things like that.
And these types of goals aresome that people tend to quit
(05:12):
the fastest.
Or maybe you have another typeof goal or intention or
resolution that you kind of letgo of.
So let's talk about how you canget back on track in a way
that's gonna work for you.
I have a few tips that I thinkyou'll find really helpful.
So first of all, we have to setbetter goals.
(05:33):
Most people set kind of randomarbitrary goals, intentions or
resolutions.
For example, I had a goal formany years to lose enough weight
to weigh the same as I did whenI was 25.
That was my wait before I hadkids.
What was that number based on?
Uh, that would be nothing.
It had no basis.
So the goal had no why that madeany sense at all.
(05:56):
Was I happy with my body at 25?
No.
I wasn't even happy with my bodyat 25.
So why the hell would I evencare if I was that weight?
So I kinda pulled that goal outof thin air and didn't really
think about the reality of it orwhy I would even like, why or
what it would take to get there,let alone sustain it.
(06:16):
And most people don't thinkabout this.
So you want your goals to feellike a hell yes.
Like, you want your goals tofeel exciting and that they're
driven from within.
Not like what you think otherpeople will say about you go you
know, going after something oreven achieving it.
So what does that look like?
Well, here's the thing that I'velearned in the last few years is
(06:39):
and I I coach a lot of peoplearound.
well, that's the first thingthat I do when I work with
someone as we talk about goals.
And, uh, most of the time, wewill do, like, some work around
values.
So I like to start with thevalues first.
What's really important to you?
Because, if we don't havesomething meaningful behind a
goal.
It's gonna be really hard toreach it.
(07:01):
When you're connecting with yourvalues, like, asking yourself,
like, how do you feel why isthat desirable?
What's possible when you'realigned with what's really true
for you that isn't when you'renot aligned?
So I also like to ask thequestion about aliveness.
What goal feels alive?
Like, visioning is reallyimportant here too.
(07:21):
asking questions like, what willbe available to me when I hit
that goal that isn't availableto me right now?
So when I do this work withpeople, like, we dig really
deep.
And what I found was that mostpeople say, for example, like, I
wanna get in shape and end uprealizing that their goal isn't
really about the weight.
It's about, like, confidence orhealth or having more energy or
(07:44):
strength or just feeling moreempowered.
A few years ago, I did a NewYear's challenge called goals
with soul.
And this was based on DanielleLaPorte's book, the desire map
where she talks about herprocess of setting goals based
on core desired feelings.
After all, like like I saidearlier, the only reason we
wanna achieve something isbecause how we think it will
(08:06):
make us feel.
So I not start there.
So setting goals based on what'simportant to you and how you
wanna feel.
That is gonna help you.
Like, it's gonna help you form areally solid why.
And we need that to be able to,find meaning in those goals and
to stay on track.
Okay.
Moving on.
(08:27):
Number 2.
Are your goals realistic?
This is important.
I mentioned earlier that formany years, 1 of my goals was to
lose enough weight to weigh whatI did before I had kids.
Well, I was, like, 40.
That's probably not superrealistic.
(08:47):
Or even in my mid forties, I hadthat goal.
And then I realized, That'sprobably not super realistic or
sustainable.
But when I set goals withclients, I always ask, like, on
a scale of 1 to 10, how doable,or how likely do you think
you're able to reach this, inthe time frame we're looking at.
And if doability is anythingless than 7, like, we go back to
(09:10):
the drawing board and tweak thegoal until the believability or
the doability is, like, 7 orhigher.
You know, if your if your goalis to read a hundred books this
year.
You have to look at how manybooks that means you have to
read per week, which is about 2.
Some people for some people,that's totally doable, but
there's that's a lot of booksfor most people.
So if I ask you if 2 books aweek is realistic and you say
(09:31):
it's 50 50, we wanna tweak thatgoal.
Otherwise, it's gonna feelreally overwhelming, and our
brains don't like to feeloverwhelmed.
Motivation wanes and peoplequit.
So if you wanna set a goalaround reading books, like, you
ask yourself, like, what do Ithink you know, it might be a
little stretch, but 7 or 8 outof 10.
(09:52):
Like, what do you think that or9 or 10, but, like, what what's
the likelihood that I I thinkyou know, what's the
believability of, like, like,can I succeed at this?
Setting a goal where you'resaying, yeah, I probably am not
gonna reach this.
What's the point?
It.
Right?
Okay.
So number 3, are your goalsrelevant?
(10:15):
This is a little bit related tothe number 1 that, like, you
know, about, you just have toset better goals that are
related to values and, how youwanna feel.
But, just asking yourself, iswhat you're going after
something you actually careabout?
Like, is the work you'll put ingoing to benefit you in some
way.
Is the goal internally driven,or is it driven by the potential
(10:37):
of a lot of external validation?
Like, that's a really importantthing.
And, again, it's it really kindagoes with the first bullet
point.
Okay.
So number 4 is to have a plan.
This is probably the thing thattrips people up the most.
If you set a goal and don't lookat how you're gonna get there,
the likelihood of getting thereis not so great.
(10:57):
So last week, I coached theclient on overwhelm and anxiety
because his to do list was huge.
And he didn't have a plan toknock things off of it, so he
kept procrastinating doinganything.
So, of course, that just made itworse because the to do list
kept growing, and he felttotally out of control and
really, like, overwhelmed anddisempowered.
So we literally went through andbrain dumped all the things he
(11:20):
had on his mental list into aGoogle Doc.
For every item on his to dolist, we came up with all of
the, uh, like, subtasks that,you know, that item was made up
of.
And we kept chunking these itemsdown into little tasks as far as
we could go.
His list had a lot of thingsthat were actually contingent on
something else getting done.
So with this level of, like,chunking this down.
(11:43):
He was able to prioritize andfocus on the next step in front
of him rather than seeing, like,all of the steps and getting
overwhelmed.
So same thing with goals.
You need to be able to identifythe next action steps that will
get you closer to your goalbecause seeing all the steps
isn't necessarily helpful in themoment.
You need to break it down andkind of reverse engineer how
(12:03):
you'll get there.
So number 5 related to this...
This is related.
Focus on really tiny short termgoals if you're having a hard
time staying on track.
I recently listened to a podcastthat talked about Navy SEALs and
the mindset training that theygo through.
And 1 of the things they talkabout is, having really tiny
(12:25):
short term goals.
Basically, this is breakingthings up into, like, these
minuscule little sub goals.
So, like, if you're like, NavySeals, if they're, like, in a
really tough situation, they'renot thinking about the entire
mission.
They're thinking about eachstep.
So, for example, like, if youhave a hard time getting up in
the morning to work out, focuson each step of getting there.
(12:47):
That's a a mini goal.
So number 1.
You hear your alarm going off.
Okay.
My goal is to get out of bed.
Okay.
And then I get out of bed.
Next goal.
My goal is to to the bathroomand brush my teeth.
Okay.
Done.
Next goal, put on my workoutclothes.
Done.
Okay.
Next goal is get on my shoes.
Okay.
(13:07):
Done.
You get the idea.
Right?
So it's, like, every littlestep.
You're hyper focusing on that 1little thing.
The and the point is that we'rejust looking at the tiniest of
steps as goals, and then we'resetting a new 1 once we reach
it.
Because, like, small steps addup to really big progress.
Also, this strategy works superwell if you're under a lot of
(13:30):
stress or dealing with a lot ofemotions.
It's like just focusing on thetiniest little thing can be
really helpful.
So, number 6, and this isactually my last 1, is tracking
progress, reviewing, you know,course correcting your plan, and
also celebrating your wins alongthe way, even the really small
ones.
(13:50):
Don't get wrapped up in what youdidn't do.
That's where the negativefeelings like guilt for not
having done something we thoughtwe were supposed to do come in.
And there's nothing wrong withthe feeling itself, but if we
don't take time to unhook fromthat and normalize it, we can
get stuck in a very unhelpfuland unproductive place.
It's okay to have the feeling,but just accept you're having it
(14:12):
and move on towards your biggerpicture.
We tend to get locked into agoal and see tweaking it or
changing it as failure.
But we change.
Life changes.
Circumstances change.
And sometimes times our goalsaren't even relevant or really
even desirable anymore.
So it's okay to let go of a goalif the process of reaching it
isn't bringing you the feelingyou want or even important to
(14:33):
you anymore.
It's really important to checkon progress frequently too.
Like, where are you?
Do do you feel like you know, isyour plan working?
Where are you getting trippedup?
Like, how can you tweak how youget over obstacles?
and then also, super importantto celebrate your progress.
Okay?
So you need to look at, and andI have a client right now who's
(14:55):
doing that every day.
He's looking at just a couplelittle wins for the day.
So he's he's starting because hetends to be really judgmental on
himself.
Because he doesn't get all hisbig tasks done.
So his challenge for the week isto, every day after work, just
make a little short list of afew things that were, like,
accomplishments, even if they'retiny.
(15:16):
So it trains your brain to lookat that side of things because
our brains don't naturally dothat.
So, really important to do that.
I highly recommend keeping,like, a journal or a a Google
Doc or something, and you canput those in there because then
you can go back and see seethat.
I don't think it's reallynecessarily enough to mentally
check-in with it because youforget.
(15:37):
So I think it's really helpfulto write it down.
So, anyway, friends, that is itfor this episode.
Just remember, you're not aloneif you falling off the wagon
with all your New Year's goals.
Like, in fact, you're in themajority.
So just remember that.
It's totally normal, but you cancourse correct, you can get back
on track.
So hopefully, these tips arehelpful to you in regrouping and
(15:59):
setting some goals that arealigned with your values and
creating a plan to reach themthat is sustainable and doable.
If you have any questions aboutanything, please feel free to
reach out.
I'm happy to talk about thisstuff with you.
And, finally, if you're enjoyingthe show or enjoyed this
episode, I would reallyappreciate it if you could go to
(16:19):
whatever streaming serviceyou're listening to this podcast
on and leave a 5 star rating anda review for me.
It's the best way to help otherpeople find the show, and that's
what we want.
So thanks again, friends, and Iwill see you next time.
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