November 28, 2025 • 32 mins
Breaking the Chains: Reframing Trauma
In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with Eugene Z. Bertrand, a master of social work candidate at Columbia University, advocate for trauma-informed mental healthcare, and first-time author. Eugene discusses his journey of turning pain into purpose by reframing trauma as resilience and the significance of vulnerability for healing.
Topics include dismantling myths and stigma around domestic violence, betting on oneself, the intersection of trauma and mental health with incarceration, and the importance of representation and support systems. Eugene also shares about his impactful book 'Resilience: Breaking the Chains' and his role as a mitigation specialist in a federal public defender's office.
00:00 Introduction and Myths Around Domestic Violence
00:23 Meet Eugene Z. Bertrand
01:21 Eugene's Journey and Impact of Real Men Feel
02:03 Discussing the Man Box and Male Vulnerability
04:35 Creativity as a Healing Tool
06:01 Eugene's Book: Resilience Breaking the Chains
12:06 Challenges and Opportunities in Mental Health for Black Men
16:38 Mitigation Specialist Role and Rehabilitation
23:08 Betting on Yourself and Personal Growth
26:54 Final Thoughts and Connection
Connect with Eugene
Eugene Z Bertrand — https://eugenezbertrand.com/
LinkedIn — linkedin.com/in/eugene-bertrand
Resources
Resilience: Breaking the Chains by Eugene Z Bertrand — https://amzn.to/44oc8Sq
200 Powerful Positive Affirmations and 6 Simple Tips to Put Them to Work by Andy Grant — https://amzn.to/4p2k8kd
Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 381
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What are some of the biggest myths or stigma around domestic
violence or trauma in general that you were out to dismantle?
This doesn't happen to me that you're a worse.
You're somehow looked at as small or weak for naming those
wounds, for having emotions, fortalking about them.
(00:23):
Hello and. Welcome to Real Men feel, I'm
your host Andy Grant. Today we have a very special
conversation. My guest is Eugene Z Bertrand, a
master of social work candidate at Columbia University, an
advocate for trauma informed mental health care and a first
time author. Eugene is also someone who told
me that Real Men Feel single handedly changed his life, which
(00:44):
makes this moment even more meaningful for both of us.
In this episode, Eugene shares his journey of turning pain into
purpose, reframing trauma as resilience, and naming the
wounds we're so often told to stay silent about.
We'll explore how vulnerability leads to healing, why
representation and mental healthmatters, and what it looks like
(01:04):
to bet on yourself. And if you want to continue
conversations like this, join myprivate online community,
Authentic AF, at realmenfeel.org/group.
Let's do it. Hello Eugene, and welcome to
Real Men Feel. Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me. Eugene, when we first spoke, you
shared that real men feel had had a real impact on your life
(01:26):
and it was a big moment for you to even decide to reach out.
So what does it mean for you to be here today, which I I believe
is your first podcast? Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Yeah. Listen, man, being here is it's
it's almost like surreal becauseI think sometimes what tends to
happen is you have the imposter syndrome.
You're like, should I reach out?Should I not reach out?
(01:48):
Am I good enough to even reach out?
And sometimes you just have to take the chance on yourself and
just do it. I think being here is, it's just
a testament to like all the, thegreat work that you're doing.
And I'm, I'm, I'm really happy just to be here and just kind of
being in the community. I think what inspired me to
reach out was talking more aboutthe man box with my friends that
(02:10):
I learned about here. So how does that go?
How how do you bring up the man box in in chatting with friends?
Often times what ends up happening is we're, we're just
having a casual conversation. And then there's just, there's
just things that are said and I'm just like, no, like you
don't have to respond in that way.
You don't have to think in this way.
There's another option. I think so often, Andy, a lot of
(02:34):
men are, are, are trained to have like one way of thinking.
Like you're not supposed to feel, you're not supposed to
have these emotions. And I've always been the type of
person to kind of just say what's on my mind and the
respect the way, of course. And I was like, listen, bro,
like it does not have to be thisway.
I know, especially for black men.
Shout out to my brother Dawood. I was watching that episode and
(02:55):
he talked about the man box in the black community.
And it is much smaller because there is such a stigma with male
vulnerability and talking about your emotions.
And, you know, I think when I'm talking about the man box and
having those conversations with my brothers, it's just all about
having the opportunity to to to encourage them to think about
(03:17):
things in a different way because it doesn't always have
to be the way that society has taught us to think about things.
So I've heard you say that you want to exist for who you are,
not just what you've gone through.
So what does that distinction mean to you?
Yeah. So I am a survivor of domestic
violence myself. And as I was writing my book, I
(03:40):
was recognizing that the best way to kind of heal is to
express yourself creatively. That's through poetry.
That's through whatever type of creative writing that is.
And I think that so often we canbecome defined by what we've
been through. And I try to just challenge
myself every single day to acknowledge it, recognize that,
(04:03):
Have grace for what's happened, have that radical acceptance for
the situation, whatever type of situation that has occurred in
my life. But really try to encourage
myself to just be the best person that I can be.
Show up every single day and look myself in the mirror and
say, Eugene, you got this, Eugene, you're destined for
great things. Eugene, you deserve XY and Z.
(04:23):
And honestly, man, like that's the best thing I've ever done in
my life. And I just learned how to do
that a few months ago myself. And from there, everything has
just been great in my life. But it starts with yourself.
Cool and I'm glad you said creativity 'cause that's
something that a lot of guys don't lean into, don't explore.
But you know, I believe regardless of any religious
beliefs, the the power that creates worlds is literally
(04:47):
within all of us. A. 100%, I agree with you 100%.
And I think again, I think it goes towards that point of
society. Like I think often times we
think about things through one specific way.
And I think creativity is another way that we can kind of
open up and say, oh, you can express yourself through
creativity. You can express yourself through
(05:09):
art. You can express yourself through
singing, through spoken word poetry.
All of these great things that can help you reinvest within
yourself can really be so transformative.
And and even like I explained, creativity to really have no
bound. So if you pave streets for a
living, yeah, you know, that's creating something that's
creating something. It's artistic.
(05:31):
But you maybe you, you have pride in making.
I'm making the best Dang street I can make today, right?
Best Dang street I can make today, man, And that's the
that's what I really try to justencourage myself to do everyday
and just have that acceptance, like and just recognizing that
there are so many ways you can express yourself.
At least for me when I was mentioning my book, that's
that's that's how I to express myself.
(05:54):
It's through creativity, poetry,spoken word, writing, different
things, a whole bunch of great things, you know?
So let's get to your book. Your book is called Resilience,
Breaking the Chains and you talkabout reframing trauma and
turning pain into purpose. What was the spark that made you
want to write this? I think that's a great question,
(06:15):
Andy. I think what made me want to sit
down and say, oh, I'm going to write this book was first, you
know, after enduring my own situation with domestic violence
and, you know, really having theopportunity to sit with it and
acknowledge that I am a survivor.
And I think when, especially as a man talking about it, it can
(06:37):
get so stigmatized. And when I'm so grateful for the
community that I have, my brothers, I call my friends that
are men, my brothers. Having that community there for
me was really great in so many different ways, but it was also
extremely transformative becausewhen I was able to have that
conversation, like, bro, like this really just happened to me
and this is how it's making me feel.
(06:58):
I was embraced and I was, you know, grateful to be in a
position where they were able tolisten to me and they were able
to actually emphasize and relateto my experience.
And so I think the motivation with writing my book, Andy, was
recognizing my own experience was too powerful and too
familiar with other men to keep to myself.
(07:19):
Because another thing that I recognized in having a
conversation with my brothers was them saying Eugene, like
this also happened to me. Domestic violence can have so
many different forms, but hearing them actually say the
word domestic violence was so transformative.
So again, really my motivation in writing it was just really
(07:40):
recognizing that it's so much more than me.
There's so many other men that are dealing with this that have
dealt with it, and it's so stigmatized.
So the book really helps to justkind of challenge that stigma.
And you talk about naming woundsand why that's important instead
of the things that society says keep quiet about.
So might you name your experience more clearly?
(08:03):
What, like what? What exactly had you gone
through? Yeah.
So it was, it was, it was a number of situations, Andy, but
I endured a situation where I almost died.
And I think going into a situation like that and coming
out of it and actually living, not only is it incredibly
traumatizing, but it's also extremely transformative again,
(08:28):
because you're able to really live another day.
I think so often we take our lives for granted and you know,
we do stupid stuff all the time.But I can confidently say that I
almost lost my life and that wasdue to domestic violence.
And every single day after that,I've just really tried my best
(08:49):
to live my every single day likeit's my last and to just make
sure that I'm being kind and I'mbeing vulnerable.
Because I could say that before that situation happened to me
where I almost lost my life due to domestic violence, I can't
say I was always the most vulnerable.
I can't say that I was always the person that wore their heart
(09:11):
on their sleeve. I'm sure I did in some capacity,
but now I really tried to make it a point to be very
intentional with actions that I take those interpersonally as
well. I really just tried to be very
cautious and just be extremely mindful of, you know, every
single day because it could be taken from you like this.
(09:34):
What are some of the biggest myths or stigma around domestic
violence or trauma in general that you are out to dismantle?
This doesn't happen to me that you're a wuss that you you're
somehow looked at as small or weak for naming those wounds,
(09:58):
for having emotions, for talkingabout them, especially talking
about them with their kids, talking about them with your
community, whoever that might beor whichever community that
might be. But I really, I think the top
three would just be those and just really trying to just kind
of dismantle that whole, you know, I don't have emotions
(10:19):
thing because you do. Oh, that whole I'm a wuss if I
talk about these emotions because you're not.
And oh, if I talk about it like I'm going to be looked at as
small and that's just not the reality.
I think we have to learn that wehave to also recognize that we
are in 2025. Things are changing and
(10:40):
conversations are very differentthan they were in 1925 or 1825.
I think we have to really try tostart being comfortable with
saying I'm in need of support and I really need to lean on you
for that. I'm in need of support and I
need some support from you in order for me to feel comfortable
(11:00):
in the getting that support. Right.
Yeah, I often say that the bravest thing a man can do often
is ask for help. 100 percent, 100%.
Like I think the other thing that I've noticed, Andy, is that
when asking for help as a man, it's almost, well, it, it is
stigmatized and it's almost not always met with compassion.
(11:24):
Sometimes it's met with why do you, you can't do this?
You're a man, you could do this,but that's not the reality.
You know, like, I think we all need to have some type of space
and the community to say, I needsupport and I need it now and
have that be something that's, you know, looked at as highly
(11:45):
rather than something that's frowned upon.
You know, 2025, like I said, man, we have to, we really need
to kind of come out of that, that, that that whole mindset
because what's happening, and I talk about it in my book, we're
losing our fathers, we're losingour brothers, we're losing our
sons because people don't feel like they have that support.
(12:07):
So you already mentioned that the man box is even more
constrictive for Black men. So as a Black man going into the
mental health profession, what are some of the unique
challenges and opportunities that you'll face?
In terms of asking for help, in terms of accessibility,
sometimes the help is not alwaysaccessible.
(12:28):
Sometimes you can't get that. And that can be a manner of
things like, man, how much time do you have?
I, I think that's, there's so many different things that us
black men feel like we can't getthat support.
I think often times we need to kind of see it in order to feel
comfortable doing it. And often times it's comes from
(12:50):
generations back from generations and generations and
generations. If we don't see our fathers
saying, you know, I need help, you know, I need some support, I
really would like for this to change in my life.
If we don't see that vulnerability in front of our
faces, most likely we're not going to be able to do the same
(13:11):
thing. I think when it's seen, it's
easier to kind of say, you know what, I could do this too,
because it's accepted. Oftentimes what happens in the
black community, especially whenit comes to men in mental
health, you're, you're, you're encouraged to kind of keep
things in the home. Oftentimes what's said is what
happens at home stays at home, what happens in the house stays
(13:32):
in the house, and that doesn't really do anybody any good.
Is there anything a man can do to sort of take a small step or
practice vulnerability since so many messages are telling him
shut up? Yeah.
Yeah, that's a really good question, Andy.
I think the first thing that I could kind of say would be to
look at yourself every single day in the mirror, like maybe
(13:53):
very intentional about it and practice it like regularly say,
I deserve to be the best person I can be.
I'm strong, I am worthy, I am vulnerable because you know,
the, the power of the tongue is so strong, man.
I'm sure you know, the power of the tongue is just so strong.
And if you're looking at yourself in the mirror and
(14:16):
you're saying this, nine times out of 10, your brain will be
able to restructure that and your brain will be able to say,
you know what you are. You're going to start believing
these things that you are saying, even if you don't
necessarily believe it now, who's to say that you're not
going to believe it two weeks from now?
And I'm saying that this works because I'm a testament that
(14:37):
I've done it myself and it's worked wonders.
Like I said, man, I almost lost my life and I did a total 180.
Like I was a great man before inmy opinion.
But I think what I recognized was that there was such a stigma
with vulnerability, male vulnerability.
So the the first book I ever wrote was all about positive
(14:58):
affirmations. And more than the list of
affirmations, it was how to use them and mirror work.
Looking in the mirror is one of my favorite ways.
I find it incredibly powerful. But when I started, I could not
hold my own gaze. Like that's how afraid of being.
I didn't want myself to see myself.
It's not easy at all, man. Like I think we have to, in
order to break the silence, we would have to really talk about
(15:20):
it. Like if you talk about it in so
many different ways, whether that's through affirmations or
that's with trusted family, friends or whoever.
Because in real life, you know when you're able to tell your
friends, 9 times out of 10 they know somebody or it's happening
to them, something that you're going through, other people are
also going through. Yeah, and I said especially for
(15:42):
men, if, if, if you're in a men's circle, even just casually
with friends. And yeah, the first guy that
shares something, there's often like that's when the
competitiveness of guys will kick in.
Like, Oh well, if you're going to share something deep, let me
let me show you this. Yeah, 100%.
And just normalizing things thatsold for so long were were were
(16:03):
so stigmatized, normalizing those, having those difficult
conversations, having communities like the authentic
AF community that I'm so happy to be a part of, naming these
communities where you're able tocommute and have conversations
that are always the easiest to have can really be life
changing, man. It's just that change culture.
Like we can really work togetherin solidarity to challenge that
(16:27):
man up message and affirm thingsthat affirm things like
vulnerability and affirm that that vulnerability is indeed
strength. So I know you work as a
mitigation specialist in a federal public defender's
office. Can you explain what that role
is? So basically what we do is we
(16:49):
work hard to try to look at someof the other factors that folks
are charged with with federal crimes.
So I think often times what endsup happening is folks are being
presented in front of the judge and the judges is looking at the
charge. So with our job, what I like to
say is that we are helping the client have a voice.
(17:12):
So we're going back generations,generations, sometimes 1-2
generations back to talk about what were those other factors
that might have contributed to committing XY and Z crime.
Why is it important to have alternatives to incarceration?
Because you know. I'm a firm believer that there
(17:35):
has to be rehabilitation becauseyou sitting in some type of
confinement thinking about your crime will do what you'll leave
prison or you'll leave being incarcerated and most likely
recommit you are in some types of groups throughout the day.
(17:56):
You're sitting there doing XY and Z, but often times when you
leave, you're leaving the same person that you came in.
And having that rehabilitation, having access to resources,
having access to things like therapeutic support, having
access to things like having a community, doing things like
(18:18):
going into the garden and gardening, enjoying things that
aren't just being confined in some type of solidary
confinement can be so, so transformative.
Listen, man, I'm all about that rehabilitation because being
incarcerated, it's not going to do anything.
Yes, I committed the crime, but me committing the crime and me
(18:40):
coming out to become a conscientious member of society
are two very different things. Having alternatives to
incarceration is incredibly significant in my opinion.
Yeah, we've developed into nothing but a system of
punishment only. Yeah.
Especially we have to also recognize that there are
communities of people that have only seen punishment.
(19:04):
And I think what I really love about my work doing mitigation
work is that it helps to bring in another lens that a lot of
people don't always see from just looking at the paper of
what the charges are. We're talking about their
upbringing. We're talking about, oh, maybe
mom and dad were addicted to XY and Z drug.
(19:25):
They didn't have the support that they needed because they
were, you know, too busy trying to sell drugs in order to help
pay the bills so that they can go to school.
Having those conversations can go so far and being able to be
vulnerable in that way and seeing somebody help to fight
(19:45):
for you to be able to either getset free or be able to kind of
lessen a sentence that is extremely harsh that you might
have committed at 21 years old so you're not sitting in there
until you're 43 years old is amazing.
Sometimes you need to see somebody fight for you to
recognize. How much power you have within
(20:07):
yourself and that you do mean something and people are here to
show you that you do matter. From your perspective, what's
the connection between trauma, mental health, and
incarceration? I.
Think that's a really good question.
I think that the connection, I think it's all really
interconnected. I think that with incarceration,
(20:31):
there are some folks that are inthere that might have a long
scent of trauma that's not talked about.
Is that because one, there was never a space to be created to
talk about those things? Is it because it was
stigmatized? Is it because they don't know
how to verbalize that and whether it's coming out it's
(20:51):
through anger, which is why theyare incarcerated in the 1st
place? Is it because they are suffering
from some type of mental health diagnosis that has not been
diagnosed yet? I think they're all very
interconnected. And I think that with our
incarceration system, it hasn't always thought about it in that
(21:12):
way, but we talked about it in asocial sense.
But I think what ends up happening is that when it is
going up in front of a court, when it's going up in the front
of a judge, I think when it getsto legalities and things like
that, I think we kind of forget.And we look at the crime and we
look at the statue, the charge. How does this ride to X amount
(21:33):
of statute? How does this rise to this
level? And the amount of years that
we're going to give them withoutrecognizing the trauma, without
recognizing the mental health status, the mental health
diagnosis, and what that family history could have been and how
that could have and how all of those things really could have
contributed to X amount of crimes which led to this
(21:57):
outcome. So is that what a a trauma
informed justice system looks like, taking all those things
into consideration? Or is it more?
I think it's a whole bunch. Like I, I think you really have
to come from a lens of power, race, oppression and privilege
in our society and recognize that these things are so
(22:18):
multifaceted and we can't look at it through 1 lens because or
one person making a decision forsomebody that might not have
experienced what they've experienced through what I'm
learning at Columbia, the prop lens, power, race, depression
and privilege. That's one sided.
You're not attacking the issue because what's going to happen,
(22:38):
you're going to give them all these years.
But when they come out and if they recommit, that's a life
that could have been a conscientious member of society,
but it's almost doing their disservice to them because
they're not, You're not. You're not going back and
saying, listen, let me talk to like a human.
Let me understand from my understanding why you might have
(23:03):
committed this crime. I've heard you use the phrase
betting on yourself. Yeah.
What does that mean to you and how can others practice it?
Yeah, man, betting on yourself. Listen, let me start with how
can other? Well, let me start with the
story. So growing up, I had ADHD and
anxiety, and I grew up in a community where they were not
(23:26):
giving me support and I really had to bet on myself and I had
to have grace with recognizing that my brain just functions
different than other people's. And there's really nothing wrong
with that. That was my first experience of
having vulnerability within myself and having to share that
with other people. So that was really interesting,
(23:48):
but I think betting on yourself really does mean that you have
to take the chance on yourself because too often, man, I think
what ends up happening is we don't do those things that we
wish we could have done because of that imposter syndrome,
because we feel like, you know, it might not work on our favor.
(24:09):
We might be let down, if I'm being so honest, Andy, like we
kind of talked about earlier, I was nervous to even reach out.
I watch, I, I listen to real menfeel all the time.
And like I, I had to tell myselflike you have to really bet on
yourself, Eugene, because I, youknow, you really feel like
there's a message that you can share that can be so
(24:29):
transformative and really changepeople's lives.
Like the like the lessons and experiences that you've heard
that have changed your life. This is tough of mine right now
for me so I I just want to throwthis out there but I am much
more likely to respond to Someone Like You reaching out
than the internationally known author on his 10th book and just
(24:50):
being another stop at someone's book tour.
I ignore those people all the time so if there's anyone else
like Wayne I think I get a storyto tell like that.
Why this exists? Listen, man, I agree.
I think you really have to allowpeople the opportunity to grow.
You have to allow people the opportunity to bet on
themselves, really, because everybody has to start
somewhere. You know what I'm saying, man,
(25:11):
Everybody really does have to start somewhere.
And if you don't have that that that starting place, it's hard
to find your grounding. And kind of similar to betting
on yourself, a phrase I've heardof.
And you know you are the best investment you've got.
So anything you give to yourself, writing your book,
going on podcast is all only going to support you and others
(25:33):
even. Yeah, that's a man.
I think as much as you can pour into others, you really have to
be able to pour into yourself. And I think for me, you know,
that looks like eating well, exercising, very like I go to
the gym every single morning at 5:00.
And I mean, I'm normally just anearly riser.
And I mean, Andy, if I'm being honest, I can't hang.
I can't go to sleep at 12. AMI can't do that.
(25:55):
I'm in bed by like 930. I can't do it.
That's also sleep hygiene. That's taking care of yourself.
And you're the best investment, like you said, that you can make
in yourself. As much as you can pour into
other people, you have to be able to pour into yourself to
really feel that gratification in order for your brain to say
good job. Yeah, you can't give what you
(26:16):
don't have. Can't you?
You can't. You just can't, man.
And that's another thing that I really also talk about in my
book. It's, it's investing in
yourself. When something traumatizing
happens to you, oftentimes people just say, oh, I went to
therapy and it was fine. Well, what other things did you
do? Did you invest in yourself by
eating well? Did you invest in yourself by
(26:38):
surrounding yourself with peoplethat make you feel good?
Did you learn a new hobby? Did you look at yourself in the
mirror and really fit and and and have gratitude and have that
radical acceptance for what has occurred without really judging
it? So looking ahead, as you finish
your Masters of social work, what sort of impact do you hope
(27:00):
to have in in private practice and general advocacy?
Yeah, Listen, man, I, I really want to be able to do something
very simple. I the only thing that I want to
be able to do is be a conscientious member of society
and also encourage others to do the same.
I think that can look different to so many different people,
(27:22):
whether that's doing something as simple as cutting any of this
song if they didn't ask you to and knowing that your neighbor
is ill or disabled and they're going to have to hire somebody.
And just leaning more into vulnerability through that and
just really encouraging other people to do the same thing,
especially men. Eugene, is there a, a practice,
(27:44):
a book, or a mindset shift that really helped you that you would
like to share? I think listening to brown noise
has really, really helped me. It's a higher frequency than or
I think it's a lower frequency actually than white noise.
It helps you focus. It helps you just kind of hone
(28:05):
in and really kind of get into things.
Like I mentioned earlier, I grewup and I struggled with ADHD and
when I found out the power of brown noise changed my life.
And I think the also the also then another thing that I'd like
to share is that you really haveto be very intentional with
investing in yourself. I know we talked about that a
(28:26):
lot, but again, like doing thosedaily affirmations every single
morning I wake up, I drink my water, I go right into the
bathroom, I turn my light on even if I'm exhausted and you
know, it hurts when you see the light.
Like, you know what I'm saying? I have affirmations all over my
house and I specifically have these three, I have three, these
(28:49):
three affirmations on my mirror and it says you are strong, you
are capable and you are resilient.
Because if I'm saying that to myself first thing in the
morning, that's it. I have the control over my day.
That's, that's it. You know, those are the three
things that I say to myself every single morning.
And when it comes to mind for me, so when I was really
(29:11):
depressed and struggling with suicidal thoughts on my mirror,
it said the most important thingtoday is that I feel good.
Yeah, see. And that was it.
Yeah, and how did they make you?Feel sometimes not good.
But you, yeah, good. Not real, I think.
Like, I think affirmations are meant if they all feel
comfortable, you got to change them.
(29:32):
Yeah, I think I found they're meant to stir some things up.
Stir up the lies. 90% right. Yeah. 100% man like, but that's
also really healing. I feel like it's it's it's
you're helping to kind of refrain your mindset, refrain
your brain. And you know, I'm a firm
believer that healing, healing really does begin in the moment
that, you know, you refuse to carry whatever type of sounds
(29:54):
that you're carrying any longer.And I don't know, I feel like
that's how you're able to break the chains in my book results
breaking the chains. But I feel like that's how we're
able to kind of break those chains by or break those chains
by by doing things like investing in yourself, being
vulnerable, speaking, by reaching out and by really just
(30:17):
choosing yourself, man, just remembering that healing it, it
really does begin the moment that you refuse to carry the
silence any longer, wherever that silence may be, whether
that be you're dealing with domestic violence, whether that
be you're dealing with depression, anxiety, suicidal
thoughts. But that's how you're able to
break the chains once you're able to refuse to carry that any
(30:40):
longer. But I think that, you know,
everybody has their own journey.And I really do think that if
you start those mornings with those affirmations and you're
saying to yourself, I trust myself through those lens, you
know, you might be OK. Eugene, what's the best way for
people to connect with you and learn more about all you're?
(31:02):
Up to absolutely. So you can go to my website
eugenezbertrand.com and I'm alsoon LinkedIn and that's the best
way to connect with me. And finally, what's one thing
you wish more men knew? Being vulnerable isn't a
weakness. Being vulnerable is a strength.
And really tuning into that masculinity with being
(31:27):
vulnerable and naming that is transformative within itself.
You just have to take that chance and be vulnerable.
Awesome. Thanks so much for joining me.
Thanks so much for reaching out.Yeah, thanks so much for doing
the work on yourself. I believe the ripple effect of
you being you is going to be deep, wide and profound.
(31:49):
I appreciate that man, it's justyou have to bet on yourself
sometimes. All the time.
All the time, all the time, every single time.
I appreciate you having me man. Thank you so much.
Big thanks to Eugene for his courage, his vision, and his
willingness to make his very first podcast appearance with us
here on Real Men Feel. His story is a reminder that our
(32:09):
wounds do not define us. They can guide us to resilience,
connection, and purpose. If today's conversation
resonated with you, remember youdo not have to walk this path
alone. Join me and other men, including
Eugene, who are choosing authenticity, courage, and
growth inside the authentic AF community.
Visit realmenfeel.org/group. It's where men stop pretending
(32:31):
and start connecting. Until next time, be good to
yourself.
What are some of the biggest myths or stigma around domestic
violence or trauma in general that you were out to dismantle?
This doesn't happen to me that you're a worse.
You're somehow looked at as small or weak for naming those
wounds, for having emotions, fortalking about them.
(00:23):
Hello and. Welcome to Real Men feel, I'm
your host Andy Grant. Today we have a very special
conversation. My guest is Eugene Z Bertrand, a
master of social work candidate at Columbia University, an
advocate for trauma informed mental health care and a first
time author. Eugene is also someone who told
me that Real Men Feel single handedly changed his life, which
(00:44):
makes this moment even more meaningful for both of us.
In this episode, Eugene shares his journey of turning pain into
purpose, reframing trauma as resilience, and naming the
wounds we're so often told to stay silent about.
We'll explore how vulnerability leads to healing, why
representation and mental healthmatters, and what it looks like
(01:04):
to bet on yourself. And if you want to continue
conversations like this, join myprivate online community,
Authentic AF, at realmenfeel.org/group.
Let's do it. Hello Eugene, and welcome to
Real Men Feel. Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me. Eugene, when we first spoke, you
shared that real men feel had had a real impact on your life
(01:26):
and it was a big moment for you to even decide to reach out.
So what does it mean for you to be here today, which I I believe
is your first podcast? Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Yeah. Listen, man, being here is it's
it's almost like surreal becauseI think sometimes what tends to
happen is you have the imposter syndrome.
You're like, should I reach out?Should I not reach out?
(01:48):
Am I good enough to even reach out?
And sometimes you just have to take the chance on yourself and
just do it. I think being here is, it's just
a testament to like all the, thegreat work that you're doing.
And I'm, I'm, I'm really happy just to be here and just kind of
being in the community. I think what inspired me to
reach out was talking more aboutthe man box with my friends that
(02:10):
I learned about here. So how does that go?
How how do you bring up the man box in in chatting with friends?
Often times what ends up happening is we're, we're just
having a casual conversation. And then there's just, there's
just things that are said and I'm just like, no, like you
don't have to respond in that way.
You don't have to think in this way.
There's another option. I think so often, Andy, a lot of
(02:34):
men are, are, are trained to have like one way of thinking.
Like you're not supposed to feel, you're not supposed to
have these emotions. And I've always been the type of
person to kind of just say what's on my mind and the
respect the way, of course. And I was like, listen, bro,
like it does not have to be thisway.
I know, especially for black men.
Shout out to my brother Dawood. I was watching that episode and
(02:55):
he talked about the man box in the black community.
And it is much smaller because there is such a stigma with male
vulnerability and talking about your emotions.
And, you know, I think when I'm talking about the man box and
having those conversations with my brothers, it's just all about
having the opportunity to to to encourage them to think about
(03:17):
things in a different way because it doesn't always have
to be the way that society has taught us to think about things.
So I've heard you say that you want to exist for who you are,
not just what you've gone through.
So what does that distinction mean to you?
Yeah. So I am a survivor of domestic
violence myself. And as I was writing my book, I
(03:40):
was recognizing that the best way to kind of heal is to
express yourself creatively. That's through poetry.
That's through whatever type of creative writing that is.
And I think that so often we canbecome defined by what we've
been through. And I try to just challenge
myself every single day to acknowledge it, recognize that,
(04:03):
Have grace for what's happened, have that radical acceptance for
the situation, whatever type of situation that has occurred in
my life. But really try to encourage
myself to just be the best person that I can be.
Show up every single day and look myself in the mirror and
say, Eugene, you got this, Eugene, you're destined for
great things. Eugene, you deserve XY and Z.
(04:23):
And honestly, man, like that's the best thing I've ever done in
my life. And I just learned how to do
that a few months ago myself. And from there, everything has
just been great in my life. But it starts with yourself.
Cool and I'm glad you said creativity 'cause that's
something that a lot of guys don't lean into, don't explore.
But you know, I believe regardless of any religious
beliefs, the the power that creates worlds is literally
(04:47):
within all of us. A. 100%, I agree with you 100%.
And I think again, I think it goes towards that point of
society. Like I think often times we
think about things through one specific way.
And I think creativity is another way that we can kind of
open up and say, oh, you can express yourself through
creativity. You can express yourself through
(05:09):
art. You can express yourself through
singing, through spoken word poetry.
All of these great things that can help you reinvest within
yourself can really be so transformative.
And and even like I explained, creativity to really have no
bound. So if you pave streets for a
living, yeah, you know, that's creating something that's
creating something. It's artistic.
(05:31):
But you maybe you, you have pride in making.
I'm making the best Dang street I can make today, right?
Best Dang street I can make today, man, And that's the
that's what I really try to justencourage myself to do everyday
and just have that acceptance, like and just recognizing that
there are so many ways you can express yourself.
At least for me when I was mentioning my book, that's
that's that's how I to express myself.
(05:54):
It's through creativity, poetry,spoken word, writing, different
things, a whole bunch of great things, you know?
So let's get to your book. Your book is called Resilience,
Breaking the Chains and you talkabout reframing trauma and
turning pain into purpose. What was the spark that made you
want to write this? I think that's a great question,
(06:15):
Andy. I think what made me want to sit
down and say, oh, I'm going to write this book was first, you
know, after enduring my own situation with domestic violence
and, you know, really having theopportunity to sit with it and
acknowledge that I am a survivor.
And I think when, especially as a man talking about it, it can
(06:37):
get so stigmatized. And when I'm so grateful for the
community that I have, my brothers, I call my friends that
are men, my brothers. Having that community there for
me was really great in so many different ways, but it was also
extremely transformative becausewhen I was able to have that
conversation, like, bro, like this really just happened to me
and this is how it's making me feel.
(06:58):
I was embraced and I was, you know, grateful to be in a
position where they were able tolisten to me and they were able
to actually emphasize and relateto my experience.
And so I think the motivation with writing my book, Andy, was
recognizing my own experience was too powerful and too
familiar with other men to keep to myself.
(07:19):
Because another thing that I recognized in having a
conversation with my brothers was them saying Eugene, like
this also happened to me. Domestic violence can have so
many different forms, but hearing them actually say the
word domestic violence was so transformative.
So again, really my motivation in writing it was just really
(07:40):
recognizing that it's so much more than me.
There's so many other men that are dealing with this that have
dealt with it, and it's so stigmatized.
So the book really helps to justkind of challenge that stigma.
And you talk about naming woundsand why that's important instead
of the things that society says keep quiet about.
So might you name your experience more clearly?
(08:03):
What, like what? What exactly had you gone
through? Yeah.
So it was, it was, it was a number of situations, Andy, but
I endured a situation where I almost died.
And I think going into a situation like that and coming
out of it and actually living, not only is it incredibly
traumatizing, but it's also extremely transformative again,
(08:28):
because you're able to really live another day.
I think so often we take our lives for granted and you know,
we do stupid stuff all the time.But I can confidently say that I
almost lost my life and that wasdue to domestic violence.
And every single day after that,I've just really tried my best
(08:49):
to live my every single day likeit's my last and to just make
sure that I'm being kind and I'mbeing vulnerable.
Because I could say that before that situation happened to me
where I almost lost my life due to domestic violence, I can't
say I was always the most vulnerable.
I can't say that I was always the person that wore their heart
(09:11):
on their sleeve. I'm sure I did in some capacity,
but now I really tried to make it a point to be very
intentional with actions that I take those interpersonally as
well. I really just tried to be very
cautious and just be extremely mindful of, you know, every
single day because it could be taken from you like this.
(09:34):
What are some of the biggest myths or stigma around domestic
violence or trauma in general that you are out to dismantle?
This doesn't happen to me that you're a wuss that you you're
somehow looked at as small or weak for naming those wounds,
(09:58):
for having emotions, for talkingabout them, especially talking
about them with their kids, talking about them with your
community, whoever that might beor whichever community that
might be. But I really, I think the top
three would just be those and just really trying to just kind
of dismantle that whole, you know, I don't have emotions
(10:19):
thing because you do. Oh, that whole I'm a wuss if I
talk about these emotions because you're not.
And oh, if I talk about it like I'm going to be looked at as
small and that's just not the reality.
I think we have to learn that wehave to also recognize that we
are in 2025. Things are changing and
(10:40):
conversations are very differentthan they were in 1925 or 1825.
I think we have to really try tostart being comfortable with
saying I'm in need of support and I really need to lean on you
for that. I'm in need of support and I
need some support from you in order for me to feel comfortable
(11:00):
in the getting that support. Right.
Yeah, I often say that the bravest thing a man can do often
is ask for help. 100 percent, 100%.
Like I think the other thing that I've noticed, Andy, is that
when asking for help as a man, it's almost, well, it, it is
stigmatized and it's almost not always met with compassion.
(11:24):
Sometimes it's met with why do you, you can't do this?
You're a man, you could do this,but that's not the reality.
You know, like, I think we all need to have some type of space
and the community to say, I needsupport and I need it now and
have that be something that's, you know, looked at as highly
(11:45):
rather than something that's frowned upon.
You know, 2025, like I said, man, we have to, we really need
to kind of come out of that, that, that that whole mindset
because what's happening, and I talk about it in my book, we're
losing our fathers, we're losingour brothers, we're losing our
sons because people don't feel like they have that support.
(12:07):
So you already mentioned that the man box is even more
constrictive for Black men. So as a Black man going into the
mental health profession, what are some of the unique
challenges and opportunities that you'll face?
In terms of asking for help, in terms of accessibility,
sometimes the help is not alwaysaccessible.
(12:28):
Sometimes you can't get that. And that can be a manner of
things like, man, how much time do you have?
I, I think that's, there's so many different things that us
black men feel like we can't getthat support.
I think often times we need to kind of see it in order to feel
comfortable doing it. And often times it's comes from
(12:50):
generations back from generations and generations and
generations. If we don't see our fathers
saying, you know, I need help, you know, I need some support, I
really would like for this to change in my life.
If we don't see that vulnerability in front of our
faces, most likely we're not going to be able to do the same
(13:11):
thing. I think when it's seen, it's
easier to kind of say, you know what, I could do this too,
because it's accepted. Oftentimes what happens in the
black community, especially whenit comes to men in mental
health, you're, you're, you're encouraged to kind of keep
things in the home. Oftentimes what's said is what
happens at home stays at home, what happens in the house stays
(13:32):
in the house, and that doesn't really do anybody any good.
Is there anything a man can do to sort of take a small step or
practice vulnerability since so many messages are telling him
shut up? Yeah.
Yeah, that's a really good question, Andy.
I think the first thing that I could kind of say would be to
look at yourself every single day in the mirror, like maybe
(13:53):
very intentional about it and practice it like regularly say,
I deserve to be the best person I can be.
I'm strong, I am worthy, I am vulnerable because you know,
the, the power of the tongue is so strong, man.
I'm sure you know, the power of the tongue is just so strong.
And if you're looking at yourself in the mirror and
(14:16):
you're saying this, nine times out of 10, your brain will be
able to restructure that and your brain will be able to say,
you know what you are. You're going to start believing
these things that you are saying, even if you don't
necessarily believe it now, who's to say that you're not
going to believe it two weeks from now?
And I'm saying that this works because I'm a testament that
(14:37):
I've done it myself and it's worked wonders.
Like I said, man, I almost lost my life and I did a total 180.
Like I was a great man before inmy opinion.
But I think what I recognized was that there was such a stigma
with vulnerability, male vulnerability.
So the the first book I ever wrote was all about positive
(14:58):
affirmations. And more than the list of
affirmations, it was how to use them and mirror work.
Looking in the mirror is one of my favorite ways.
I find it incredibly powerful. But when I started, I could not
hold my own gaze. Like that's how afraid of being.
I didn't want myself to see myself.
It's not easy at all, man. Like I think we have to, in
order to break the silence, we would have to really talk about
(15:20):
it. Like if you talk about it in so
many different ways, whether that's through affirmations or
that's with trusted family, friends or whoever.
Because in real life, you know when you're able to tell your
friends, 9 times out of 10 they know somebody or it's happening
to them, something that you're going through, other people are
also going through. Yeah, and I said especially for
(15:42):
men, if, if, if you're in a men's circle, even just casually
with friends. And yeah, the first guy that
shares something, there's often like that's when the
competitiveness of guys will kick in.
Like, Oh well, if you're going to share something deep, let me
let me show you this. Yeah, 100%.
And just normalizing things thatsold for so long were were were
(16:03):
so stigmatized, normalizing those, having those difficult
conversations, having communities like the authentic
AF community that I'm so happy to be a part of, naming these
communities where you're able tocommute and have conversations
that are always the easiest to have can really be life
changing, man. It's just that change culture.
Like we can really work togetherin solidarity to challenge that
(16:27):
man up message and affirm thingsthat affirm things like
vulnerability and affirm that that vulnerability is indeed
strength. So I know you work as a
mitigation specialist in a federal public defender's
office. Can you explain what that role
is? So basically what we do is we
(16:49):
work hard to try to look at someof the other factors that folks
are charged with with federal crimes.
So I think often times what endsup happening is folks are being
presented in front of the judge and the judges is looking at the
charge. So with our job, what I like to
say is that we are helping the client have a voice.
(17:12):
So we're going back generations,generations, sometimes 1-2
generations back to talk about what were those other factors
that might have contributed to committing XY and Z crime.
Why is it important to have alternatives to incarceration?
Because you know. I'm a firm believer that there
(17:35):
has to be rehabilitation becauseyou sitting in some type of
confinement thinking about your crime will do what you'll leave
prison or you'll leave being incarcerated and most likely
recommit you are in some types of groups throughout the day.
(17:56):
You're sitting there doing XY and Z, but often times when you
leave, you're leaving the same person that you came in.
And having that rehabilitation, having access to resources,
having access to things like therapeutic support, having
access to things like having a community, doing things like
(18:18):
going into the garden and gardening, enjoying things that
aren't just being confined in some type of solidary
confinement can be so, so transformative.
Listen, man, I'm all about that rehabilitation because being
incarcerated, it's not going to do anything.
Yes, I committed the crime, but me committing the crime and me
(18:40):
coming out to become a conscientious member of society
are two very different things. Having alternatives to
incarceration is incredibly significant in my opinion.
Yeah, we've developed into nothing but a system of
punishment only. Yeah.
Especially we have to also recognize that there are
communities of people that have only seen punishment.
(19:04):
And I think what I really love about my work doing mitigation
work is that it helps to bring in another lens that a lot of
people don't always see from just looking at the paper of
what the charges are. We're talking about their
upbringing. We're talking about, oh, maybe
mom and dad were addicted to XY and Z drug.
(19:25):
They didn't have the support that they needed because they
were, you know, too busy trying to sell drugs in order to help
pay the bills so that they can go to school.
Having those conversations can go so far and being able to be
vulnerable in that way and seeing somebody help to fight
(19:45):
for you to be able to either getset free or be able to kind of
lessen a sentence that is extremely harsh that you might
have committed at 21 years old so you're not sitting in there
until you're 43 years old is amazing.
Sometimes you need to see somebody fight for you to
recognize. How much power you have within
(20:07):
yourself and that you do mean something and people are here to
show you that you do matter. From your perspective, what's
the connection between trauma, mental health, and
incarceration? I.
Think that's a really good question.
I think that the connection, I think it's all really
interconnected. I think that with incarceration,
(20:31):
there are some folks that are inthere that might have a long
scent of trauma that's not talked about.
Is that because one, there was never a space to be created to
talk about those things? Is it because it was
stigmatized? Is it because they don't know
how to verbalize that and whether it's coming out it's
(20:51):
through anger, which is why theyare incarcerated in the 1st
place? Is it because they are suffering
from some type of mental health diagnosis that has not been
diagnosed yet? I think they're all very
interconnected. And I think that with our
incarceration system, it hasn't always thought about it in that
(21:12):
way, but we talked about it in asocial sense.
But I think what ends up happening is that when it is
going up in front of a court, when it's going up in the front
of a judge, I think when it getsto legalities and things like
that, I think we kind of forget.And we look at the crime and we
look at the statue, the charge. How does this ride to X amount
(21:33):
of statute? How does this rise to this
level? And the amount of years that
we're going to give them withoutrecognizing the trauma, without
recognizing the mental health status, the mental health
diagnosis, and what that family history could have been and how
that could have and how all of those things really could have
contributed to X amount of crimes which led to this
(21:57):
outcome. So is that what a a trauma
informed justice system looks like, taking all those things
into consideration? Or is it more?
I think it's a whole bunch. Like I, I think you really have
to come from a lens of power, race, oppression and privilege
in our society and recognize that these things are so
(22:18):
multifaceted and we can't look at it through 1 lens because or
one person making a decision forsomebody that might not have
experienced what they've experienced through what I'm
learning at Columbia, the prop lens, power, race, depression
and privilege. That's one sided.
You're not attacking the issue because what's going to happen,
(22:38):
you're going to give them all these years.
But when they come out and if they recommit, that's a life
that could have been a conscientious member of society,
but it's almost doing their disservice to them because
they're not, You're not. You're not going back and
saying, listen, let me talk to like a human.
Let me understand from my understanding why you might have
(23:03):
committed this crime. I've heard you use the phrase
betting on yourself. Yeah.
What does that mean to you and how can others practice it?
Yeah, man, betting on yourself. Listen, let me start with how
can other? Well, let me start with the
story. So growing up, I had ADHD and
anxiety, and I grew up in a community where they were not
(23:26):
giving me support and I really had to bet on myself and I had
to have grace with recognizing that my brain just functions
different than other people's. And there's really nothing wrong
with that. That was my first experience of
having vulnerability within myself and having to share that
with other people. So that was really interesting,
(23:48):
but I think betting on yourself really does mean that you have
to take the chance on yourself because too often, man, I think
what ends up happening is we don't do those things that we
wish we could have done because of that imposter syndrome,
because we feel like, you know, it might not work on our favor.
(24:09):
We might be let down, if I'm being so honest, Andy, like we
kind of talked about earlier, I was nervous to even reach out.
I watch, I, I listen to real menfeel all the time.
And like I, I had to tell myselflike you have to really bet on
yourself, Eugene, because I, youknow, you really feel like
there's a message that you can share that can be so
(24:29):
transformative and really changepeople's lives.
Like the like the lessons and experiences that you've heard
that have changed your life. This is tough of mine right now
for me so I I just want to throwthis out there but I am much
more likely to respond to Someone Like You reaching out
than the internationally known author on his 10th book and just
(24:50):
being another stop at someone's book tour.
I ignore those people all the time so if there's anyone else
like Wayne I think I get a storyto tell like that.
Why this exists? Listen, man, I agree.
I think you really have to allowpeople the opportunity to grow.
You have to allow people the opportunity to bet on
themselves, really, because everybody has to start
somewhere. You know what I'm saying, man,
(25:11):
Everybody really does have to start somewhere.
And if you don't have that that that starting place, it's hard
to find your grounding. And kind of similar to betting
on yourself, a phrase I've heardof.
And you know you are the best investment you've got.
So anything you give to yourself, writing your book,
going on podcast is all only going to support you and others
(25:33):
even. Yeah, that's a man.
I think as much as you can pour into others, you really have to
be able to pour into yourself. And I think for me, you know,
that looks like eating well, exercising, very like I go to
the gym every single morning at 5:00.
And I mean, I'm normally just anearly riser.
And I mean, Andy, if I'm being honest, I can't hang.
I can't go to sleep at 12. AMI can't do that.
(25:55):
I'm in bed by like 930. I can't do it.
That's also sleep hygiene. That's taking care of yourself.
And you're the best investment, like you said, that you can make
in yourself. As much as you can pour into
other people, you have to be able to pour into yourself to
really feel that gratification in order for your brain to say
good job. Yeah, you can't give what you
(26:16):
don't have. Can't you?
You can't. You just can't, man.
And that's another thing that I really also talk about in my
book. It's, it's investing in
yourself. When something traumatizing
happens to you, oftentimes people just say, oh, I went to
therapy and it was fine. Well, what other things did you
do? Did you invest in yourself by
eating well? Did you invest in yourself by
(26:38):
surrounding yourself with peoplethat make you feel good?
Did you learn a new hobby? Did you look at yourself in the
mirror and really fit and and and have gratitude and have that
radical acceptance for what has occurred without really judging
it? So looking ahead, as you finish
your Masters of social work, what sort of impact do you hope
(27:00):
to have in in private practice and general advocacy?
Yeah, Listen, man, I, I really want to be able to do something
very simple. I the only thing that I want to
be able to do is be a conscientious member of society
and also encourage others to do the same.
I think that can look different to so many different people,
(27:22):
whether that's doing something as simple as cutting any of this
song if they didn't ask you to and knowing that your neighbor
is ill or disabled and they're going to have to hire somebody.
And just leaning more into vulnerability through that and
just really encouraging other people to do the same thing,
especially men. Eugene, is there a, a practice,
(27:44):
a book, or a mindset shift that really helped you that you would
like to share? I think listening to brown noise
has really, really helped me. It's a higher frequency than or
I think it's a lower frequency actually than white noise.
It helps you focus. It helps you just kind of hone
(28:05):
in and really kind of get into things.
Like I mentioned earlier, I grewup and I struggled with ADHD and
when I found out the power of brown noise changed my life.
And I think the also the also then another thing that I'd like
to share is that you really haveto be very intentional with
investing in yourself. I know we talked about that a
(28:26):
lot, but again, like doing thosedaily affirmations every single
morning I wake up, I drink my water, I go right into the
bathroom, I turn my light on even if I'm exhausted and you
know, it hurts when you see the light.
Like, you know what I'm saying? I have affirmations all over my
house and I specifically have these three, I have three, these
(28:49):
three affirmations on my mirror and it says you are strong, you
are capable and you are resilient.
Because if I'm saying that to myself first thing in the
morning, that's it. I have the control over my day.
That's, that's it. You know, those are the three
things that I say to myself every single morning.
And when it comes to mind for me, so when I was really
(29:11):
depressed and struggling with suicidal thoughts on my mirror,
it said the most important thingtoday is that I feel good.
Yeah, see. And that was it.
Yeah, and how did they make you?Feel sometimes not good.
But you, yeah, good. Not real, I think.
Like, I think affirmations are meant if they all feel
comfortable, you got to change them.
(29:32):
Yeah, I think I found they're meant to stir some things up.
Stir up the lies. 90% right. Yeah. 100% man like, but that's
also really healing. I feel like it's it's it's
you're helping to kind of refrain your mindset, refrain
your brain. And you know, I'm a firm
believer that healing, healing really does begin in the moment
that, you know, you refuse to carry whatever type of sounds
(29:54):
that you're carrying any longer.And I don't know, I feel like
that's how you're able to break the chains in my book results
breaking the chains. But I feel like that's how we're
able to kind of break those chains by or break those chains
by by doing things like investing in yourself, being
vulnerable, speaking, by reaching out and by really just
(30:17):
choosing yourself, man, just remembering that healing it, it
really does begin the moment that you refuse to carry the
silence any longer, wherever that silence may be, whether
that be you're dealing with domestic violence, whether that
be you're dealing with depression, anxiety, suicidal
thoughts. But that's how you're able to
break the chains once you're able to refuse to carry that any
(30:40):
longer. But I think that, you know,
everybody has their own journey.And I really do think that if
you start those mornings with those affirmations and you're
saying to yourself, I trust myself through those lens, you
know, you might be OK. Eugene, what's the best way for
people to connect with you and learn more about all you're?
(31:02):
Up to absolutely. So you can go to my website
eugenezbertrand.com and I'm alsoon LinkedIn and that's the best
way to connect with me. And finally, what's one thing
you wish more men knew? Being vulnerable isn't a
weakness. Being vulnerable is a strength.
And really tuning into that masculinity with being
(31:27):
vulnerable and naming that is transformative within itself.
You just have to take that chance and be vulnerable.
Awesome. Thanks so much for joining me.
Thanks so much for reaching out.Yeah, thanks so much for doing
the work on yourself. I believe the ripple effect of
you being you is going to be deep, wide and profound.
(31:49):
I appreciate that man, it's justyou have to bet on yourself
sometimes. All the time.
All the time, all the time, every single time.
I appreciate you having me man. Thank you so much.
Big thanks to Eugene for his courage, his vision, and his
willingness to make his very first podcast appearance with us
here on Real Men Feel. His story is a reminder that our
(32:09):
wounds do not define us. They can guide us to resilience,
connection, and purpose. If today's conversation
resonated with you, remember youdo not have to walk this path
alone. Join me and other men, including
Eugene, who are choosing authenticity, courage, and
growth inside the authentic AF community.
Visit realmenfeel.org/group. It's where men stop pretending
(32:31):
and start connecting. Until next time, be good to
yourself.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.