November 21, 2025 • 49 mins
Overcoming Addiction and Adversity: The Kelley Gulledge Story
In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant speaks with former professional baseball player Kelley Gulledge, who shares his powerful journey from battling crack cocaine addiction to achieving sobriety and overcoming multiple sclerosis. Kelley opens up about his struggles, the pivotal moments that led to his recovery, and the importance of faith, family, and perseverance.
This inspirational conversation delves into the depths of addiction, the road to redemption, and the strength needed to rebuild one’s life.
00:00 A Shocking Introduction
00:32 Meet Kelley Gulledge
01:28 Growing Up in a Baseball Family
02:51 College Decision and Early Career
04:11 The Dark Turn: Addiction Begins
05:01 The Struggle with Crack Cocaine
08:00 Hitting Rock Bottom
12:07 The Road to Recovery
15:16 Finding Sobriety and Purpose
17:02 A Spiritual Awakening
23:03 Returning to Baseball
24:06 Struggles with Sobriety and Morality
26:39 Finding Support and Love
28:55 Health Scare and Diagnosis
33:12 Adopting a New Lifestyle
36:36 Career Transition and Giving Back
41:37 Pride in Family and Faith
47:27 Final Reflections and Connection
Connect with Kelley
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelley-gulledge-22845248/
Resources
The Wahls Protocol: A Radical New Way to Treat All Chronic Autoimmune Conditions Using Paleo Principles, by Dr Terry Wahls — https://amzn.to/4a6sH93
Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 380
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So here I am, naked girl, drunk,crack pipe in my hand.
I hit the crack. OK?
I was like, my God, this is the only reason why I make money.
This is the only reason why I'm here on this planet.
And it was that, you know, it was one time.
And it's like, and everybody, you know, that's been an addict
or an alcoholic knows what I'm talking about.
(00:20):
I mean, it was that one. And I was done.
It, it, it had me and it was over with, you know, there was
no fighting it whatsoever. I I I had no control.
Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel.
I'm your host Andy Grant. My guest today is Kelly
Gullridge. Drafted into professional
baseball, Kelly went on to play 12 years in the pros.
(00:42):
But behind that dream, he was spiraling into crack cocaine
addiction that nearly destroyed his life and career.
In 2006, Kelly hit rock bottom and show sobriety and got his
life. Back.
But just when things seem settled down, Kelly faced
another curveball, the diagnosisof multiple sclerosis.
Today, we'll explore what it takes to overcome addiction,
rediscover purpose, heal againstthe odds, and live fully in
(01:05):
recovery and redemption. And if you want to continue
conversations like this, join myprivate online community,
Authentic AF, at realmenfield.org/group.
Now, let's do it. Hello Kelly, and welcome to Real
Men Field. Hey, it's good to be with you,
Andy. I'm, I'm happy to be here, man.
Yeah, I'm happy you're here too.You've had quite a rich life.
(01:26):
Let's say I know you, you, you grew up in a baseball family.
So let let's go back to the beginning and and what was it
like being raised in that environment?
He wasn't per SE a professional ball player, but he's been with
the Rangers for 40 plus years. He's kind of the voice of the
Texas Rangers. And so, yeah, you know, I, I
that's, that's the environment Igrew up in.
(01:47):
We were, I was just talking to my neighbor about it the other
day. Like, you know, it wasn't, you
know, I I didn't work on cars orbuild things or, you know, it
was, it was baseball. And and that was great because I
ended up loving it and, you know, it, it, it became my life.
So it, it, it was a good, it, itwas good growing up like that.
Andy. Even as a kid, did baseball seem
to mean more to you than than friends and brothers or anyone
(02:11):
else? As time grew on, as I got older,
I'd say around the age of 12, that's when it became it, it
started becoming more important than everything.
And you know, I, I really loved it.
And you know, I, I, I, over the years I've seen like my dad, you
know, like I said, it's, it's life for him.
He, he bleeds blue and red Ranger blood, you know, and it's
(02:34):
not, it's not to say he's God, but it, it, it means a lot to
him. And you know, as, as time
progressed, it became kind of it, it, it overwhelmed my life
and it became, it became who I was, you know, my job and
everything became who I was. Because yeah, you were drafted
out of high school, but you decided to go to college.
(02:55):
So what? What went into that decision?
Right. So I got, I got, I got drafted
at 25th round out of high schooland everybody had been saying I
was going to go higher and, and it didn't happen.
The last thing on earth I wantedto do was go to college and you
know, so the, the money wasn't there.
And then it was a last minute decision.
(03:15):
Like I, I'd been to UT, I'd beento A&M, other places on official
visits and Alabama. I mean, that was, dude, I don't
want to go to Alabama. You know, it's, I don't know, it
just didn't sound very appealing, But I ended up
that's, that was the decision I made.
It was actually a really good decision.
Those were three of the best years of my life.
(03:37):
Got to play in the Cosworld series, and then my junior year
I got drafted again by the Minnesota Twins when the 10th
round, and the money was right that time.
So it ended up being a really great decision going to the
University of Alabama. But in the beginning, the last
thing I wanted to do is go to college, so.
What? What was so off putting about
the idea of college? And I want to play pro ball.
(03:59):
I mean that I wanted to get going.
You know, it's that was that's what I had been bred to do man
was play professional baseball. And and it just, it had been put
on hold for another three years.So, you know, I had to wait it
out. So you're with the Minnesota
Twins, You're a pro ball player.Dreams come true.
So what was the reality? How did that feel?
I was great, man. I, you know, it was, I was where
(04:21):
I wanted to be. Everything was going really
well. You know, the, the things they
don't realize, like the, you know, I've gotten a big signing
bonus and that money was partially available.
It was in a mutual fund, but I had a card, you know, but at the
time, that first year with the Twins, I'm getting paid $850 a
month. You're I was in the Midwest
(04:43):
League. So the bus that's, we were based
out of Davenport, IA. So the bus trips are 810 hours
and didn't have any friends. Very lonely living in hotel
rooms. I had a girlfriend, but not
really, you know, and that this is kind of this is kind of where
the story starts starts to trailoff.
But, you know, spent a lot of time at strip clubs and you want
(05:04):
to talk about a lonely place, man, that's, you know, and that
that's where a lot of my time tospend.
So early in your career, were you playing as much?
Were you progressing through theranks?
Was where were things going as quickly as you had hoped?
Yeah, so, you know, I 2001 was my first full season, and by the
(05:25):
end of that season I was #10 on the prospect list for the
Minnesota Twins. So they had me listed out of all
their minor league players #10 and to preface that, man, you
know, this is this is where the story gets kind of crazy.
So that same year we're in Lansing, MI, we're playing the
Lansing lug nuts. I said things are going great.
(05:48):
Never really drank a little bit.Never ever done a drug ever in
my life. Right.
Like I like I said earlier, you know, I said there was a lot of
strip clubs and it had been it had become an art at this point,
like going to a strip club and being able to pick up a girl and
take her home. It was a lot easier than going
to a bar. It was a lot easier than having
(06:08):
a girlfriend. That was that was my lifestyle.
Wasn't everybody's lifestyle, but it was the way it was the
way I rolled. And so one night in Lansing, MI,
after a game, this about midway through the 2001 season, go to
the strip club hanging out. Girl comes up talking to her and
she's like, I'm going to take you home.
And I said, OK, let's go. And so, you know, at the end of
(06:29):
the night, I'm waiting outside. She comes around front picks me
up in her car and we go back to her house.
Well, you know, I, I grew up in the Dallas Ford area and I'd
been around people that have done cocaine and seen it 100
times, you know, but I was inebriated.
There's a naked girl sitting in front of me.
She breaks out a test tube, cooks the cocaine up in the
(06:49):
crack and naked girl drunk. OK, you know, and, and, and
nobody tell no that, you know, that all the DARE education,
George W Bush actually came to my DARE graduation in elementary
school, you know, don't do drugs, right.
But nobody, nobody really explained to me the significance
(07:09):
of it or how powerful a drug is.It like, you know, I know, I
didn't know. You know, I, I, I'm Kelly
Gulledge. I'm a professional baseball
player. I'm more powerful than that is.
It's going to take a lot more than one time to knock me down.
So here I am, naked girl drunk crack pipe in my hand.
I hit the crack, OK, most, I mean, you know, it's one of
(07:33):
those things that knocked you back.
I was like, my God, this is the only reason why I make money.
This is the only reason why I'm here on this planet.
And it was that, you know, it was one time.
And it's like, and everybody, you know, that's been an addict
or an alcoholic knows what I'm talking about.
I mean, it was that one. And I was done.
It, it, it had me and it was over with, you know, there was
(07:56):
no fighting it whatsoever. I, I, I had no control.
So that one time led to A7 year ordeal, man, You know, I was, I
was addicted to crack cocaine for seven years.
And you should always when I tell this story, you know, it's,
it's some people laugh, you know, because I went straight
from alcohol to crack, man. There was no, there was no, but
that's how I am man 100% all thetime, man.
(08:19):
All in, baby. So yeah, I was all in with the
crack man. Yeah.
So it, it, it started in O 1 andI didn't really get sober till O
6. And, you know, there was yeah.
I don't want to get into many war stories, but I'll tell I I
can tell a couple things along the way.
You know, that it's I'm gratefulto be here today.
I mean, there was a there was a night in Juarez, Mexico, where I
(08:42):
probably should have never been able to come home.
I, I got, got out of, went over to Juarez, smoked crack phone,
got phone, ran out of juice, cards got cut off.
I'm standing in this line at 9:00 in the morning to get back
over into America and there's a turnstile and you have to throw
a, you know, like, I don't know what it was a peso or, you know,
(09:04):
some kind of a coin into this turnstile to walk back across
the bridge at El Paso. Well, I didn't have any money on
me. Like I said, my card had been
cut off by my bank. And so I get up to the turnstile
and I, I act like I put a coin in and I hit the turnstile and
the federally or whatever he is comes running up.
He's like, and I'm like put a put money in.
(09:24):
I put money in He and thank God he let me across because I had
no means of getting back to America and he let me across.
Walk into downtown El Paso, the Holiday Inn where the team's
staying at is about 10 miles away from downtown.
Like I said, cards cut off, phone doesn't work.
Walking through downtown, there's a bike sitting on the
side of this building. Grabbed a bike and then bike it
(09:47):
down I-10 back to my hotel room.Get there around, I guess it was
like 11 O clock, you know, mid morning, lay down in my hotel
room bed, sleep for a couple hours, get up, get on the bus
and then proceed to hit two homeruns that night.
And that's the story of my life,too, to the the candles burning
at both ends, you know, because on one hand, I'm smoking crack
(10:11):
and I'm going on these binges, and on the other hand, I'm still
playing well. And so it seems like it's all
working out, you know, and in the meantime, I'm losing family,
friends and money and relationships.
And. But like I said, the baseball
part was working out. So, you know, it's.
Yeah, that's. Amazing that you could still
function, but function at a highlevel in a major in a major.
(10:34):
Sport, right? So, yeah, the part of, you know,
hitting, they a lot of people say hitting is one of the
hardest things to do in sports, hitting a baseball, right?
And so I'm a thinker and thinking can get you in trouble
when you get in that batter's box.
And so if I had smoked crack allnight and hadn't slept, the last
thing on earth I was thinking about was hitting a baseball,
(10:57):
you know, because my head's ringing, my heart's still going
nuts. And so I kind of get better,
man. And that's, that's the sick part
of it, you know, 'cause I did, Iwasn't, I wasn't thinking about
what I was doing. And it just happened.
Were team mates aware of what you're doing?
I'm pretty sure towards the end I had a roommate of mine that
called my mom. We were in Fort Myers and my mom
(11:20):
just kind of dropped in on me inFort Myers FL.
He flew in from Texas and just trying to check up on me and see
if and everything was OK. I think I, I, you know, a good
addict alcoholic really thinks that they're hiding it from
everybody. But I'm pretty sure a lot of
people knew, you know, so I, I know for sure at least one
teammate knew because he called my mom on me, you know, and
(11:42):
we're grown men. And here's my mom coming to Fort
Myers, you know, checking in on me, you know, part of it was,
and I said I, I, I grew up in a Leave It to Beaver family.
My mom and dad are great, but mydad being in baseball, you know,
all this stuff going on and they, they couldn't put a finger
on it. But he's, you know, it's part of
the lie he tell my mom. It's part of the lifestyle.
And she's like, no, I think something bigger is going on.
(12:04):
And I'll tell the story how I got sober.
I was in a big league spring training with the Cincinnati
Reds in 2006 and my roommate wasfrom West Palm Beach.
He'd obviously driven over to Sarasota and I'd flown in for
spring training. So, you know, once he gets the
same old story man, we got done with practice that day, he's
(12:24):
like, hey, you want to go to strip clubs this year?
So we jump in, his in his car, drive a strip club, have few
drinks, then drive back to the hotel.
So we're in a hotel and I'm sitting there and I'm waiting
for him to pass out because I'm going to get the keys to his
BMW, go down MLK to the crack house and get some crack.
He passes out, I grab the keys to his brand new BMW, drive down
(12:48):
to the crack house in Sarasota, FL Going to the crack house had
a couple $100 on me smoked crack, you know, it's gone in an
hour or two. And one guy approaches me and
hey, hey, can I borrow that car to go to Tampa?
And this is like 3 or 4 O clock in the morning.
I said sure man, take the car. And so he takes the car.
Well I'm still sitting in this crack house around 7:30 in the
(13:11):
morning. No car cracked out of my mind.
Practice starts at 8:00 and I'm I'm careful like, you know, this
is part of it, like because I'venever had a fault like this ever
in my life. But I remember while I'm walking
down, you know, it's so vivid. I'm walking down U.S. 41 time
Miami Trail in Sarasota. And I remember thinking, hey,
(13:33):
man, it's all over. You know, you just, you've
thrown everything in the trash. It's all gone and all.
And I was, you know, I've never really had suicidal thoughts
before. You know, it's gone, as I'll
explain later, when I got into rehab, like I'm like AI felt
like I was my you know, I was I'm I'm God.
You know, that's kind of how I saw myself and I wanted to just
(13:55):
throw myself in front of a car. You know, that morning and never
really that that's the only timein my life I've ever had it
fought like that where I wanted to kill myself.
But something grabbed a hold of me that morning and I walked
over to a pay phone, called my mom and you know, I'm trying to
cry on you. But my mom, she said, hey, get
back to the hotel. We're going to get you back to
(14:17):
Texas. I said.
I said, all right, so you know, I did what she told me to do.
Got back to the hotel. The police were there still no
car. You know, guards in some crab
dealers hands, you know, and good part of the story.
The car came back the next day. I guess I wasn't there to to see
it. I was already on a plane back to
Texas. Cincinnati Reg released me on
(14:38):
the spot. I went back to Texas and then
that's when we started trying tofigure things out.
So but yeah, got back to Texas and you know, even at that point
and you know, in this whole 7 years, three MLB drug tests
failed, lost two cars. At this point I lost my own.
I had a big truck on 24 inch wheels, you know that I same
(15:04):
type of thing had happened and it never came back.
Lost this guy at BMW and all these bad things have happened
and still here I am. I finally agreed to go to rehab
and I'm in rehab and I still don't think I have a problem.
You know, I'm looking at this isback in Dallas and back then and
it still may be the case, but black tar heroin was a big
(15:25):
problem in the Dallas Fort Wortharea.
And so I'm in this rehab with about 100 hundred people.
It's Coed and, you know, a couple people Oded and died and,
you know, I'm looking around at all these people like 10.
These people are losers. You know, why am I here?
You know that I do not belong here.
I shouldn't be part of this. Like, you know, I am way better
(15:46):
than these people. And so I go on for a couple
weeks thinking that way while I'm in rehab.
And lo and behold, you know, it's part of my problem too.
There was a girl in there and I ended up sleeping with this girl
in rehab, which, you know, any kind of rehab that's it's
totally against the rules. And so I slept with this girl in
rehab. Well, I guess she decided that
(16:07):
she needed to tell her counselorthe next day.
She told her counselor. So my counselor comes to me that
next day. He goes, hey, you got something
to tell me? I said no, I'm good.
And he goes, hey, you slept withso and so I said no man, I
didn't do that. He goes, yeah, you did.
He said you got 2 choices. A you can get the hell out of
here or B, you can tell the patient group that you put them
(16:32):
in danger. You can tell your parents and
you can tell your girlfriend. My girlfriend is my wife now.
My girlfriend I had met three years previously.
I met her in 2003. I am married to her today.
And so with those options, options in front of me and be in
the pussy that I am, I was like,I'm leaving.
(16:54):
So I go back to my room and I'm packing my shit up, about to
walk out of my room. And you know, I've talked about
this lot. There's, you know, 99% of this
is Jesus. And I did, I put Jesus on the
shelf and I'm about to walk out of that room.
And, you know, it's it, it's most like for a spiritual
(17:18):
relationship, most of it takes it's long.
You know, it takes time. But then there's some of those
burning Bush moments you have. And I was about to walk out of
my room and I had a burning Bushmoment and it hit me smack dab
in the face. It's like, dude, where am I
going to go? I'm the only one getting kicked
out of here. What does that mean?
(17:38):
Like I'm the biggest loser in here.
And I started thinking about like being in these rooms, you
know, where you get your emotions out and you talk about
the trauma and things like you're, you know, and then
that's what sucks, man. Like the people that were in
there with me had been abused, had been sexually molested, had
loved ones die. They had all these wonderful
(17:59):
excuses to use drugs, right? You know that that a normal put,
you know, that sucks, man. And I get it, man.
And I understand why you use drugs.
Nothing like that ever happened to me.
I didn't have any excuses. I just wanted to have more fun,
you know, and that it hit, I waslike, dude, I'm the most selfish
person in here. I'm, I'm a son of a bitch, you
(18:20):
know? And then, then like I said, I
that's when I made the decision.I was like, dude, I got to take
this seriously. And I'm really screwed up
because I don't have these excuses.
I don't have anywhere to go and I have serious problem.
I can't stop on my own, you know, And so I may, I took that
first step and the next two weeks were a breeze.
I got out of there, man. You know, my my wife now.
(18:43):
He was. Yeah.
I had to tell my parents and my girlfriend at the time, who is
my wife now. Like, things got, things got
crazy. It wasn't good.
But dude, I stayed sober, man. And, you know, got out of rehab.
I did the whole yeah, that's part of the story too, man.
Like, yeah, I grew up Catholic. Yeah.
And I've always, I can, dude, I can go to a church and RIP it
(19:03):
apart, right. And so I got out of got out of
rehab, didn't really want to go to church.
I was like, I'm going to try to say anything.
So, you know, I was doing two tothree meetings a day.
And I get it hard, man. I was a sponsor within a couple
months that there was this really aggressive program in
(19:24):
Dallas that I went to and they were all about getting through
the steps as quick as you can and then, you know, getting
starting to be a sponsor. And so I hit the a, a hard, did
it for years. But I, I, I remember, I
remember, yeah, like I said, I could tear a church apart and,
you know, part of it, man, like,you know, I was looking at it as
(19:45):
a religion and you know, that that's the whole thing.
It's a, it's a, it's your own spiritual relationship.
And I should have listened to those words because I remember
being in a A1 day. This is years into it.
And the guy in the back stood up.
He's like, hey, my name is so and so.
And, you know, I got 30 years sobriety, my higher powers, the
future. And when I heard that, man, I,
(20:06):
you know, 'cause there's crackheads fresh off the street
in there and I'm thinking the future, man, come on, dude.
You know, it just kind of rubbedme the wrong, wrong way.
And I was like, a, A is a church.
I'm getting the hell out of here, man.
So I left a A for years, man. But you know, through my
sobriety, man, like I've learneda a church nature, my family,
(20:30):
anything and everything I do, it's all rules just to help me
grow my spiritual relationship. And so I try to go in with an
open mind everywhere I go now and use whatever it may be to
help grow my own relationship with God with Jesus Christ.
So, you know, Jesus is real. And the other, I was thinking
about this man. It was, it was this was in 2003
(20:54):
in New Britain, CT. And you know, when it first
happened and a year or two afterwards, I'd forgotten about
it. I just thought it was a dream.
And I remember I, you know, I, Iwas midway in my addiction heavy
into it. And I was doing, you know, this
is New Britain CT. There was tons of what I needed
(21:14):
up there as far as drugs. And I was laying in bed and like
I said, I thought it was a dream, but I was awoken to 4
hooded figures. I had two at my shoulder and two
at my feet. You know, they, they had hoods
on, their faces were pitch black.
You, you couldn't see any facialfeatures.
And I remember being scared out of my mind and I couldn't move,
(21:37):
I couldn't talk. And then that was the scary part
because I couldn't move my arms,I couldn't move my legs.
It was like they were holding medown.
They were pinning me. And I, you know, I, I remember
letting out after I don't know how long it was, I finally got
out of yell and then they disappeared.
And for the longest time I thought it was a dream and I
(21:58):
didn't think it was real. And, you know, over the years,
like I've come to find out, I mean, dude like that man that,
that I don't want to give him too much time on your show.
But the devil exists, man. The evil is out there, man.
And you know, that evil was in my heart.
You know what? That and I'm, I'm grateful that
I've got the relationship I havenow and that I've been been able
(22:20):
to, I like the word Andy, 'causeyou know, when you, when you're
growing up Catholic, man, repentsounds terrible.
I got to get in front of this priest and tell him all these
bad things I've done. But all it means is just turn
around, you know, and it's nevertoo late to turn around, man.
And I and I got the chance to turn around and and change my
(22:41):
life for the better man so. Yeah, I'm.
I'm sure I've just one of many in your life, all in your life
that are glad you did that and, you know, glad you're here to,
to share. You know, as you said, the war
stories, but more importantly, you come through them all.
You know, one thing that amazes me is that through all of this,
you end up back in baseball somehow.
(23:03):
Right. Yeah.
So I, I, I never thought it would happen.
And it's when I first got sober,I was like, no way I'm going to
be able to put myself back in that environment.
Well, I guess I started going tothat really aggressive group in,
in Dallas and had a mentor theresponsor, whatever you want to
call him. But he's like, you can go
(23:23):
anywhere. You can do anything as long as
your motives are in check. And I'm like, all right.
And he started getting in my head and I started learning more
and I'm like, dude, I can go anywhere.
I can do anything as long as I know why I'm there and the, and
the reasons are good. And so I get started getting,
you know, some months of sobriety under my belt, agents,
(23:47):
you know, hey, why don't you give us another shot?
So I did. And so in 2007, I've just got, I
went and played for an independent team called the 4th
Cats. You know, it's 20 minutes from
my house. Had a really good season with
the 4th Cats. And the next thing I know I'm in
Dodger Blue Man playing AAA baseball.
And The funny thing about that is 2008.
(24:09):
So I'm about, I don't know, a year and a half, two years sober
and I'm living in the gold nugget on the on the downtown in
Las Vegas, man. And, you know, I was sober man,
but I still wasn't a good person, you know, and, and it,
it, it took me, God, my, my, my sexual misconduct, man, I was,
(24:30):
it took me forever to clean thatup, man.
I, I, it took me until about 2011, end of 2011 before I
became a one woman man. And, you know, as far as my
morals go and what, what Jesus wants me to do and that, you
know, that to the standard I am now, you know, but back, you
know, in Vegas, I was a wild man, but I stayed sober man.
(24:53):
So, you know, but yeah, I got, Igot to play, I got to play for
another six years after that man, you know, and I don't know
how much it weighed into it, youknow, cuz the three MLB drug
tests I've failed, you know, it and the, some of the things I
had done, I don't know how much I drug my name through the dirt.
And I wasn't given the greatest opportunity, but I was given an
(25:17):
opportunity, man. I'm blessed for that.
Cuz, you know, I got a uniform on man, and I'm getting paid to
play baseball. So yeah, it's it's, it's fine.
So. In hindsight, any idea what was
the final thing? Or maybe it was wasn't the final
thing, but that they got your, as you said, your morality just
(25:38):
to lock in finally. It was just like I kept growing
in the growing in the spirit man.
And so, you know, and I, I had another guy explained to me,
he's like, he's like, dude, you know, it may have been a
hypothetical character that he was talking about.
He's like, you know, I got a buddy, I had a buddy of mine who
got sober and, you know, his goal was to sleep with one woman
(26:00):
a week. And, and so he got to that goal.
He stopped sleeping with multiple women a week.
And so he started sleeping with one woman a week.
And then he was, he's like, you know, I'm going to sleep with
one woman a month. And, you know, one woman a year.
I'm going to have, I'm going to make it a goal to have a
girlfriend and just be faithful to her.
And then, you know, I'm going tomake it a goal to get married
(26:22):
and have a wife that I'm faithful to.
And, and it was kind of like that for me, man.
Like, you know, it was step by step, you know, and with that
being said to like I said, I'm aself.
I was, I still am a selfish person, not as much as I was
back then, but my wife Sylvia, who I met in 2003, has been, has
(26:48):
been unbelievable, you know, andhad my back and she's seen well,
the way she explains it, she's like, I know what you were
capable of and that's why I stayed.
And, you know, we have a great marriage.
Like I said, we've, we've been together since 2003.
We got married in 2013. And it took me forever to see,
(27:09):
see that, you know, because I was such a selfish person, I
couldn't see past myself, you know, her love and I see I'm
grateful, man. I get to wake up every day with
her man, and it's awesome feeling and so, but it was it
was step by step man, like I I like I said, I was screwed up
sexually too, man, I was AI was a hoe, you know, so.
You know one of the things that is amazing in all of your roller
(27:34):
coaster ride and we're. We're not done.
I know Yeah. The the the thing the only
things that really still bring out the emotion in you is
talking about your mom and talking about your wife.
Yeah, man. So we talk about like divine
intervention in Jesus, but man is just, is there divine
motherly love? Is it?
Is it someone seeing you the wayyou don't see yourself like?
(27:55):
Well, you know, that's the thingtoo.
And that's what, you know, I don't, you know, I don't go to a
a lot. I go, I, we go to church every
Sunday. But as far as giving back, you
know, I got, I'll see a guy out on the streets, you know, that's
probably a drug addict and I'll look at him and I'm like, damn,
it's got to suck, man. Because for me, dude, I had a
(28:17):
great support system, man. I had a mom and a dad that loved
me that would go to the end of the earth for me.
I had a girlfriend and a wife. Now that I mean, she had my,
she's my, she's got a hat that says she's first generation
Mexican man. And she's got a hat that says
ride or die. You know, she's got got a little
gangster in her, but she's like,I'm your ride or die bitch.
(28:38):
And I'm like, I know you are so.But yeah, man, I, I was blessed
in that fact too, because I had people around me that really
freaking cared. And I, and I know other people
do too, but some don't, man, youknow?
And then that sucks. And so I, I'm grateful for that
man. At some point, the next thing
(28:59):
for you, you begin waking up with kind of a, a feeling of
numbness, right? So.
Towards the end of my career I would have these.
This was in 2011, 2012. I'd have these weird things
where I'd tilt my head down and I get these electric shocks in
my fingers and toes. And so I just I just marked it
off of being tired. You know, I'm wearing myself out
(29:19):
playing baseball every day. You know, that's what it is and
progress. The 2013 I wake up and my left
foot's numb. You know, I was like, why is my
you know, I had no idea why it was numb and it stayed numb the
entire freaking day. And it was.
I had never experienced that thing anything like that.
My wife in my life, so Long story short, by the end of the
(29:43):
fifth day, neck down was numb, couldn't feel anything, lost
control of my bowels. When I would try to walk, I
couldn't feel the ground. So I didn't know where I was
stepping. I was halfway falling down.
And at that point, you know, it was that fifth day my wife come
home and she said, but she wasn't we were, we were about to
get married and she said, you know, you need to go emergency
(30:03):
room. I said, no, it's you know, it'll
be fine. It's going to go away.
Well, she convinced me and I, wegot up there, you know, I'm
thinking I've had a stroke or something and they run the MRI
and everything and they come back that, that first time in
2013, they said I had this thingcalled transverse myelitis and
they said, hey, you got transverse myelitis.
(30:26):
You know, five years from now, if you don't have another event,
you're fine. Well, you know, I took that all
I, I took that as a with a grainof salt over all right, one time
event, no big deal. You know, it's, I don't know
what caused it, but I should be fine.
Well, Fast forward to 2017. I'm here at Al in Alabama.
(30:47):
We moved here. My mom and daddy got divorced in
2012 and she moved to Alabama tobe closer to her sister.
So in 2016 we moved here to be closer to my mom. 2017, same
exact thing happens. I go to the University of
Alabama Birmingham medical clinic.
(31:08):
They run an MRII. Remember this, this is funny
story. So I'm in, I'm in the bed, I'm
laying there and they have there's a Med student in the
room. He'd come in that morning before
the doctor and he's like, hey, we got the results of your MRI
back. And I was like, yeah, I was
like, and I already been doing abunch of research on my phone at
this point. And he goes, yeah, man.
And wait for a doctor to come inand then explain it to you.
(31:29):
I said, well, what did you see? He goes, well, I was like, what
was it? And he goes, well, we saw a
couple lesions and when he said the word lesion dude, I just big
dude just started falling right.And Med student runs out of the
room scared to death. But at that point I knew I had
multiple sclerosis man. And for the next God man for the
(31:52):
next like 3 or 4 weeks, all it was I was, I was, I was
depressed man. I mean, I cried every single
day. And to that point, he, I guess
my son was, she was old enough to walk.
You know, he didn't understand what was going on.
But I'm looking at this kid, my son, and I'm like, he's going to
have a daddy that's going to be in a wheelchair.
(32:13):
You know, I like this terrible. I'm this is.
Yeah, I just, I was devastated. And, you know, it was a just got
diagnosed with a chronic debilitating disease.
And you see all these, read all these stories about people in
wheelchairs and they can't walk and this and that.
I, I didn't, I didn't know what I was going to do.
(32:34):
And I went ahead, gone home and laid in bed for three weeks,
didn't move. And my wife and my mom had been
hovering over me and doing a bunch of research, didn't get a
ton of direction from the neurologist.
You know, we're handed a bunch of packets with different
medications, had no idea which one to take.
And my wife and, and my mom had found this doctor name is Doctor
(32:57):
Terry Walls. She's written a book called The
Walls Protocol. And it's, it's a lifestyle, it's
a way to live. It's a healthy type living
lifestyle. And it, it has food, vitamins,
minerals, hormones, you know, the whole gamut, man.
And they had been studying all this and I remember it was about
3 or 4 weeks in. I just, I, I woke up one day and
(33:19):
I'm like, dude, I got to move and I got up and I took a shower
and put a smile on my face and then grabbed the book that my
wife and mom had gotten me. And I was like, dude, I'm going
to, I'm going to beat this shit.And so I started living that
way, man. And it's like, you know, you
know, no gluten, no grains, no dairy, no nightshades.
There's a plethora of pills overthere.
(33:40):
But the, my mainstay is D3. And you know, a lot of people
cringe when they hear how much D3 I take a day.
But dude, I've been taking 30,000 IU and D3 daily
consistently. For how long has it been?
It's seven years, you know, and knock on wood, man, I don't have
any symptoms, man. I say, and this is another thing
(34:01):
I'm a big advocate for. I was, it was about a month out,
well, two months out at this point.
And I'd read where women are three times more likely to get
met multiple sclerosis than men.A lot of that has to do with
testosterone. So I was like, no, I'm going to
damn hormone clinic. So I go to hormone clinic and
got tested and I was like 110 and you're supposed to be
between 300 and 800, right? And so I get prescribed
(34:23):
testosterone and literally was like in a month, like everything
went away like that. Somehow down the road, my
hormones got screwed up, which screwed up my immune system,
flipped it on its head. And when my hormones got right,
when my blood got right, it was like everything went away.
(34:44):
And then I, you know, my and my prayers at night, like you know,
I, like I said, I, I leave with Jesus and I say I, Jesus, take
away my lesions. Jesus, take away my Ms. give me
the strength to get up and go tomorrow.
And so, you know, I can talk andpray all I want to Jesus, but I
got to put in the work too, right?
And so I did this morning. This morning was cardio day and
(35:06):
I went, 4I climbed 4000 feet on the Stairmaster in less than an
hour. It's, it's almost 400 floors,
you know. And so with all this being said,
like, you know, in my current role, I call on neurologist,
right? So I, I sometimes I'm around Ms.
patients and, you know, and anytime I am addressing somebody
(35:27):
who's Ms., you know, I tell themwhat works for me.
But, and then like, most people aren't going to wake up at 3:00
in the morning and go climb a Stairmaster on 4000 feet in the
morning. But I swear by like, you know,
the way I eat, the hormones, thevitamins and minerals, the
exercise and dude, I'm perfectly, I'm, I'm in better
shape now. Like I, I'm almost in, I mean, I
(35:48):
can't say I don't, I'm not goingto take my shirt off on your
program, but I'm about 5% body fat for being in being
competition ready. And like, all I'd have to do is,
you know, they'd be, I'm, I'm 8 weeks out for the competition
ready at any point. And so, you know, I explained
all that to people that have MSIsaid this is what works for me.
(36:09):
I'm not a doctor, but this is, this is, this is how I stay
healthy. This is how I don't, I don't
have any, I don't have any tingling or anything.
I said I've been living that wayfor going on 8 years now man so.
That's amazing. So you've mentioned previously a
number of times that the importance of sharing and giving
back. So, so how is that showing up
(36:31):
that you just how, how are you talking to those patients?
What? What's bringing you in front of
people these days? Right.
So when I, when I first, when I first retired from baseball, you
know, IA, lot of the people thatI'd known over the years that
have retired early had gone intomedical device cells or
pharmaceutical cells. So that's back in 2012, 2013, I
(36:53):
was applying for these jobs, right?
And I get in these interviews and they, you know, and this is
our, this is I, I had become an extrovert at this point because
I, I, you know, where I was 711 or wherever.
Hey, man, I'm a crackhead. You know, they're on that big
cloud addict, you know, the sobriety deal.
And so I was real open and have a good personality and those the
(37:15):
interview, the interviewers go, hey, man, we love your
personality. You're great, but you don't have
any experience. And you know, that went off for
a while and I had a buddy call me and he said, hey, man, come
with me to get a car tomorrow. And I said, all right.
And then what do I, I, that's why I own a repo company.
That's OK, I'll do I need a gun.He said, no, just just come
with. So I go with him, We pick up
(37:36):
this car. He we pull up to the car, he
lets me out of the car and givesme the keys.
So I just go get that car out ofthe driveway.
OK, So you know, not thinking I'm walking up in this driveway
and then all of a sudden it hit me and my heart's racing.
I'm like, Oh my God, this is crazy.
And take the car and like it's like gone in 60 seconds.
Nicolas Cage, but legal, right? We get back to the lot and I
(38:00):
asked was how much do you make the car?
And he said 608 hundred a car and I do 4 to 6 a day.
So I rolled repo on cars for thenext three or four years with
him back in the Dallas 4th area and totally put the pharma
cells, medical device cells on the back burner.
Well, you know, over that time period we had decided, hey, my
(38:21):
mom's in Alabama, let's move to Alabama.
We ain't got nothing going on. So I took the thing first thing
I came across in Birmingham and it was selling copiers.
And so came to Birmingham, AL selling copiers and that was God
awful, but it gave me the experience I needed.
And that's when I made the jump into pharmaceutical cells.
(38:44):
And then it progressed really quickly.
I, I was, I started off an entrylevel position.
But This is why I am grateful for Ms. man, because you know,
over the years just doing the study and on my own, I'm not an
expert on neurodegenerative and neuromuscular diseases, but it's
my hobby, man. I study it.
(39:05):
I read everything on it and I made the jump from entry level
to rare disease, which most of these, my team, they all have 15
or 20 years experience, whereas I have, I have six years, you
know, And so I, I made a huge jump from entry level to rare
disease that we do, I work for Johnson and Johnson and, and,
(39:26):
and our I educate neurologist onmy city of Gravis and I teach
them how to treat it. So, yeah, so that's, that's my
current role. And Ms. played a huge part in
that. And so I get to be around
neurologists all day. I get to talk to them about how
I live. You know, sometimes I run into
patients, talk to them about howI live and, and what works for
(39:48):
me. And, and yeah, that's, that's
part of the giving back, you know, but, but the biggest part
of giving back is, like I said, I don't spend a lot of time in a
A and we go to church once a week.
And I've discovered over the years that, like I said, talking
about 7-11, but like 711 or Circle K or at the gym or when I
pull up at a stop sign. And then, you know, and this may
(40:10):
be controversial, but if there'sa dude at a stop sign asking for
cash, dude, I know what it is not to have money.
I know what it is to want to be high and not be able to get
high. And.
I'm giving the dude, if I got $100 on me, I'm giving him $100.
You know, I'm giving him $100. Say, hey, dude, Jesus loves you.
It ain't got to be like this, you know, do what you need to
(40:31):
do, man. You know, and, and if he takes
$100 and goes and buys whatever,man, that's man, at least, hey,
at least he got some comfort too.
At least he was, he didn't do anything crazy like steal
something to rob somebody, man. And so those are the things that
I do, man, like talk, just talking to people in my daily
life. Like just yesterday, yeah, I had
(40:52):
a nurse come in and she's like, she's like, man, you have an
awesome testimony. We'll, we tell my friend.
And, you know, so I, I don't, I don't worry if people judge me.
I and I've seen it in some people's eyes, like when you
tell them you're a crackhead. And, you know, like, sometimes I
do it for the shock value and other times I just tell them I'm
an addict. You know, it's great.
So sometimes you want to see people's, people's aghast at it,
(41:14):
you know, just so 'cause they don't picture that, you know, it
is what it is. But anywhere I'm at, man, as if
I have the opportunity, man, I'mtelling my testimony, you know,
'cause there's, I mean, you know, there's addicts and
alcohol. It's, you know, it's a, it's a
epidemic, man. And run into them every day.
And if they hear me talk about it, maybe it might help them in
(41:37):
the future, man. So Kelly, looking back on your
whole journey, what stands out as the thing that you are most
proud of most? Proud of, there's a couple
things, man, but I'm most proud of the relationship because my
mom is. So it's funny story.
(41:57):
So yeah, I grew up Catholic. My mom's still Catholic, right?
And she was the spiritual personin our family.
Like I said, my dad, I love my dad.
He's a great guy. I'm going to tell him to listen
to this dude. I love him, you know, and but my
mom was a spiritual backbone andshe was the one that always
tried to make church a priority and get us to Sunday school and
(42:20):
do things like that. And, you know, baseball was such
a priority and it and it for me,it was a priority, man.
It wasn't just my dad, man. I was like, what God practice
got to do this, got to do that, man.
If we're playing on Sunday, all right, we're on a date, we're
going to baseball game, you know, and my mom, that's all she
wanted us. She wanted us to have a
(42:41):
relationship with God. She wanted us to know Jesus
Christ. And I was just this was just
last week, you know, my mom, I remember, I'll never forget it.
Like I go to a non denominational church.
You know, I'm just, I don't, I hate labels, man.
And you know, politically I'm I'm a libertarian Religiously,
(43:02):
I'm just a follower of Jesus, man.
Like I don't, I don't want to belabeled left or right.
I don't want to be labeled as a Catholic or Baptist or whatever,
you know, I do. I just follow Jesus, man.
And I don't you know. So anyways, you know, I got re
baptized. My mom's like, what did you do?
They got re baptized. Mom, this is years back and
(43:23):
she's like, that's that religious.
You've already been baptized. And I'm like, yeah, mom, that
was for you. This one was for me, you know,
so I wanted people to know that I have a relationship with God,
with Jesus. And she's, she's kind of been
accepting of that. But just last week we were
talking and she's like, you know, I've been reading the
Bible and been going to church, been going to mass and I would,
(43:45):
it would be awesome if you started going back to mass and I
was like, mom, look, I, I have arelationship with Jesus.
You try not to cry again, but I have a relationship with Jesus,
mom, and you should be proud of that because you're the one that
got that going. You're the one that planted that
(44:07):
seed in my heart from the very get go.
And now I have a relationship with Jesus because of you.
All right, so I don't need to goto Catholic mass.
I'm going to go where I damn well please.
You know, so I'm, I'm proud of the relationship I have with
Jesus and I'm also really proud of my family, man, because
through it all, in my, in my buzz, in all the confusion of
(44:34):
being doped out of my mind for seven years, I came through that
hell with the most perfect person, you know, And I am proud
of my family and I'm proud of mywife, man, because God, how did
that happen, dude? You know, So, you know, and I
don't know if you, you know, sick people seek sick people,
(44:56):
you know, and I'm not, I can't say that she's gonna listen to
this. But I didn't say she was sick.
But, you know, she didn't grow it along the way too.
So she she might have been, she might have been a, what is it
called? A codependent.
Codependent. There you go, man.
She, she's never had a drug and alcohol problem, but she she had
a Kelly problem. She liked to fix Kelly and that
(45:19):
she no longer has to fix Kelly, man.
So beautiful. Yeah, that's those are the
things I'm most proud of. I'm proud of my relationship
with Jesus and I'm proud of my family, man, because, dude, it's
just it's it's a miracle. You know, I, I didn't even tell
the the story. How you know, it's a miracle how
we we met and we met and and this is dude.
Have you ever been to Stockton, CA?
(45:42):
No, it's Stockton is like the worst place for somebody
addicted, addicted to crack cocaine to be.
It's terrible there. So I was in Stockton in 2003
and, you know, at the height of my addiction.
And I remember we'd gone out thenight before and I, I was trying
to talk to this girl and this Mexican girl would come up to me
(46:03):
and she, he totally cock blockedme and he like just holy, ruined
my game. And she was kind of, she was a
little heavier set. She was very vulgar and you
know, I was taken aback by it and what I what I was doing that
night didn't happen because of this girl.
(46:23):
So the next night after the game, we go out and if there was
this we've been invited this house party.
We go this house party and I walk in and I see that same girl
that had cock blocked me the night before and standing next
to her was this dark hair, dark skin.
She had a short little Jean miniskirt on man.
(46:45):
She was beautiful and she had a beautiful smile.
And I wanted to talk to her so bad, but there was this girl
that was just had really ruined it the night before and she was
with her all night and I finallygot the nerve to go over and
talk to her. And that was my wife, man.
We met in 2003 in Stockton, CA. And that girl, it's name is
(47:07):
Monique and that's her best friend.
Monique's a stand up comedian inLA now, man.
But yeah, we met in Stockton, CAand it was a long distance
relationship for a while. It's just, it's a miracle how
everything worked out, man. So proud of my wife, proud of my
son, proud of the relationship Ihad with Jesus, you know?
Kelly, what's the best way for people to connect with you or
(47:29):
you want any social media platforms or.
The the only social media I haveright now, I, I, I'm on
LinkedIn. A long time ago it was I, I'd
had, I had Facebook and things like that, but I realized like
it was more drama than, you know, anything.
So I've, I've limited myself to LinkedIn, but you can find me on
(47:52):
LinkedIn if you want to send me a message or you don't want to
talk. It's just type in Kelly
Gulledge. You'll find me on LinkedIn So.
And finally, Kelly, what do you wish more men knew?
What what I expressed earlier, man, that the cause, like I
said, when I was a kid and growing up, that word repent was
scary. And it's never too late.
(48:15):
You know what I'm saying? It's never too late to do the
right thing. It's never too late to turn
around. You always have an opportunity
until your last breath to turn around.
I don't always say this to people.
I know if I ever say this to people, I am super proud of you.
Thanks dude. We we've just talked twice in
our lives. You're such a genuine, grounded,
(48:36):
real dude. I'm amazed.
You're making me cry, Andy. I'm amazing you could ever be
called an introvert, but yeah, you were, you know, divine
intervention. You're blessed.
You're chosen. You were meant to not just
survive this, but to thrive this.
Yeah. Man, and just kudos to you and
(48:57):
nothing but love for you and your entire family.
Dude, I appreciate it Andy, and thanks for giving me this
opportunity. You know, this is another way to
give back, man. So I really.
Appreciate it man. What an incredible journey for
Kelly. From despair to purpose.
Multiple times, Kelly reminds usall that no matter how far down
you might fall, you can always come back.
Redemption is always possible. If today's conversation moved
(49:20):
you, remember you don't have to go through life alone.
Join me and other men committed to living with authenticity,
courage, and connection inside my online community.
Authentic AF where the real conversations can happen.
Sign up at realmenfeel.org/groupand until next time, be good to
yourself.
So here I am, naked girl, drunk,crack pipe in my hand.
I hit the crack. OK?
I was like, my God, this is the only reason why I make money.
This is the only reason why I'm here on this planet.
And it was that, you know, it was one time.
And it's like, and everybody, you know, that's been an addict
or an alcoholic knows what I'm talking about.
(00:20):
I mean, it was that one. And I was done.
It, it, it had me and it was over with, you know, there was
no fighting it whatsoever. I I I had no control.
Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel.
I'm your host Andy Grant. My guest today is Kelly
Gullridge. Drafted into professional
baseball, Kelly went on to play 12 years in the pros.
(00:42):
But behind that dream, he was spiraling into crack cocaine
addiction that nearly destroyed his life and career.
In 2006, Kelly hit rock bottom and show sobriety and got his
life. Back.
But just when things seem settled down, Kelly faced
another curveball, the diagnosisof multiple sclerosis.
Today, we'll explore what it takes to overcome addiction,
rediscover purpose, heal againstthe odds, and live fully in
(01:05):
recovery and redemption. And if you want to continue
conversations like this, join myprivate online community,
Authentic AF, at realmenfield.org/group.
Now, let's do it. Hello Kelly, and welcome to Real
Men Field. Hey, it's good to be with you,
Andy. I'm, I'm happy to be here, man.
Yeah, I'm happy you're here too.You've had quite a rich life.
(01:26):
Let's say I know you, you, you grew up in a baseball family.
So let let's go back to the beginning and and what was it
like being raised in that environment?
He wasn't per SE a professional ball player, but he's been with
the Rangers for 40 plus years. He's kind of the voice of the
Texas Rangers. And so, yeah, you know, I, I
that's, that's the environment Igrew up in.
(01:47):
We were, I was just talking to my neighbor about it the other
day. Like, you know, it wasn't, you
know, I I didn't work on cars orbuild things or, you know, it
was, it was baseball. And and that was great because I
ended up loving it and, you know, it, it, it became my life.
So it, it, it was a good, it, itwas good growing up like that.
Andy. Even as a kid, did baseball seem
to mean more to you than than friends and brothers or anyone
(02:11):
else? As time grew on, as I got older,
I'd say around the age of 12, that's when it became it, it
started becoming more important than everything.
And you know, I, I really loved it.
And you know, I, I, I, over the years I've seen like my dad, you
know, like I said, it's, it's life for him.
He, he bleeds blue and red Ranger blood, you know, and it's
(02:34):
not, it's not to say he's God, but it, it, it means a lot to
him. And you know, as, as time
progressed, it became kind of it, it, it overwhelmed my life
and it became, it became who I was, you know, my job and
everything became who I was. Because yeah, you were drafted
out of high school, but you decided to go to college.
(02:55):
So what? What went into that decision?
Right. So I got, I got, I got drafted
at 25th round out of high schooland everybody had been saying I
was going to go higher and, and it didn't happen.
The last thing on earth I wantedto do was go to college and you
know, so the, the money wasn't there.
And then it was a last minute decision.
(03:15):
Like I, I'd been to UT, I'd beento A&M, other places on official
visits and Alabama. I mean, that was, dude, I don't
want to go to Alabama. You know, it's, I don't know, it
just didn't sound very appealing, But I ended up
that's, that was the decision I made.
It was actually a really good decision.
Those were three of the best years of my life.
(03:37):
Got to play in the Cosworld series, and then my junior year
I got drafted again by the Minnesota Twins when the 10th
round, and the money was right that time.
So it ended up being a really great decision going to the
University of Alabama. But in the beginning, the last
thing I wanted to do is go to college, so.
What? What was so off putting about
the idea of college? And I want to play pro ball.
(03:59):
I mean that I wanted to get going.
You know, it's that was that's what I had been bred to do man
was play professional baseball. And and it just, it had been put
on hold for another three years.So, you know, I had to wait it
out. So you're with the Minnesota
Twins, You're a pro ball player.Dreams come true.
So what was the reality? How did that feel?
I was great, man. I, you know, it was, I was where
(04:21):
I wanted to be. Everything was going really
well. You know, the, the things they
don't realize, like the, you know, I've gotten a big signing
bonus and that money was partially available.
It was in a mutual fund, but I had a card, you know, but at the
time, that first year with the Twins, I'm getting paid $850 a
month. You're I was in the Midwest
(04:43):
League. So the bus that's, we were based
out of Davenport, IA. So the bus trips are 810 hours
and didn't have any friends. Very lonely living in hotel
rooms. I had a girlfriend, but not
really, you know, and that this is kind of this is kind of where
the story starts starts to trailoff.
But, you know, spent a lot of time at strip clubs and you want
(05:04):
to talk about a lonely place, man, that's, you know, and that
that's where a lot of my time tospend.
So early in your career, were you playing as much?
Were you progressing through theranks?
Was where were things going as quickly as you had hoped?
Yeah, so, you know, I 2001 was my first full season, and by the
(05:25):
end of that season I was #10 on the prospect list for the
Minnesota Twins. So they had me listed out of all
their minor league players #10 and to preface that, man, you
know, this is this is where the story gets kind of crazy.
So that same year we're in Lansing, MI, we're playing the
Lansing lug nuts. I said things are going great.
(05:48):
Never really drank a little bit.Never ever done a drug ever in
my life. Right.
Like I like I said earlier, you know, I said there was a lot of
strip clubs and it had been it had become an art at this point,
like going to a strip club and being able to pick up a girl and
take her home. It was a lot easier than going
to a bar. It was a lot easier than having
(06:08):
a girlfriend. That was that was my lifestyle.
Wasn't everybody's lifestyle, but it was the way it was the
way I rolled. And so one night in Lansing, MI,
after a game, this about midway through the 2001 season, go to
the strip club hanging out. Girl comes up talking to her and
she's like, I'm going to take you home.
And I said, OK, let's go. And so, you know, at the end of
(06:29):
the night, I'm waiting outside. She comes around front picks me
up in her car and we go back to her house.
Well, you know, I, I grew up in the Dallas Ford area and I'd
been around people that have done cocaine and seen it 100
times, you know, but I was inebriated.
There's a naked girl sitting in front of me.
She breaks out a test tube, cooks the cocaine up in the
(06:49):
crack and naked girl drunk. OK, you know, and, and, and
nobody tell no that, you know, that all the DARE education,
George W Bush actually came to my DARE graduation in elementary
school, you know, don't do drugs, right.
But nobody, nobody really explained to me the significance
(07:09):
of it or how powerful a drug is.It like, you know, I know, I
didn't know. You know, I, I, I'm Kelly
Gulledge. I'm a professional baseball
player. I'm more powerful than that is.
It's going to take a lot more than one time to knock me down.
So here I am, naked girl drunk crack pipe in my hand.
I hit the crack, OK, most, I mean, you know, it's one of
(07:33):
those things that knocked you back.
I was like, my God, this is the only reason why I make money.
This is the only reason why I'm here on this planet.
And it was that, you know, it was one time.
And it's like, and everybody, you know, that's been an addict
or an alcoholic knows what I'm talking about.
I mean, it was that one. And I was done.
It, it, it had me and it was over with, you know, there was
(07:56):
no fighting it whatsoever. I, I, I had no control.
So that one time led to A7 year ordeal, man, You know, I was, I
was addicted to crack cocaine for seven years.
And you should always when I tell this story, you know, it's,
it's some people laugh, you know, because I went straight
from alcohol to crack, man. There was no, there was no, but
that's how I am man 100% all thetime, man.
(08:19):
All in, baby. So yeah, I was all in with the
crack man. Yeah.
So it, it, it started in O 1 andI didn't really get sober till O
6. And, you know, there was yeah.
I don't want to get into many war stories, but I'll tell I I
can tell a couple things along the way.
You know, that it's I'm gratefulto be here today.
I mean, there was a there was a night in Juarez, Mexico, where I
(08:42):
probably should have never been able to come home.
I, I got, got out of, went over to Juarez, smoked crack phone,
got phone, ran out of juice, cards got cut off.
I'm standing in this line at 9:00 in the morning to get back
over into America and there's a turnstile and you have to throw
a, you know, like, I don't know what it was a peso or, you know,
(09:04):
some kind of a coin into this turnstile to walk back across
the bridge at El Paso. Well, I didn't have any money on
me. Like I said, my card had been
cut off by my bank. And so I get up to the turnstile
and I, I act like I put a coin in and I hit the turnstile and
the federally or whatever he is comes running up.
He's like, and I'm like put a put money in.
(09:24):
I put money in He and thank God he let me across because I had
no means of getting back to America and he let me across.
Walk into downtown El Paso, the Holiday Inn where the team's
staying at is about 10 miles away from downtown.
Like I said, cards cut off, phone doesn't work.
Walking through downtown, there's a bike sitting on the
side of this building. Grabbed a bike and then bike it
(09:47):
down I-10 back to my hotel room.Get there around, I guess it was
like 11 O clock, you know, mid morning, lay down in my hotel
room bed, sleep for a couple hours, get up, get on the bus
and then proceed to hit two homeruns that night.
And that's the story of my life,too, to the the candles burning
at both ends, you know, because on one hand, I'm smoking crack
(10:11):
and I'm going on these binges, and on the other hand, I'm still
playing well. And so it seems like it's all
working out, you know, and in the meantime, I'm losing family,
friends and money and relationships.
And. But like I said, the baseball
part was working out. So, you know, it's.
Yeah, that's. Amazing that you could still
function, but function at a highlevel in a major in a major.
(10:34):
Sport, right? So, yeah, the part of, you know,
hitting, they a lot of people say hitting is one of the
hardest things to do in sports, hitting a baseball, right?
And so I'm a thinker and thinking can get you in trouble
when you get in that batter's box.
And so if I had smoked crack allnight and hadn't slept, the last
thing on earth I was thinking about was hitting a baseball,
(10:57):
you know, because my head's ringing, my heart's still going
nuts. And so I kind of get better,
man. And that's, that's the sick part
of it, you know, 'cause I did, Iwasn't, I wasn't thinking about
what I was doing. And it just happened.
Were team mates aware of what you're doing?
I'm pretty sure towards the end I had a roommate of mine that
called my mom. We were in Fort Myers and my mom
(11:20):
just kind of dropped in on me inFort Myers FL.
He flew in from Texas and just trying to check up on me and see
if and everything was OK. I think I, I, you know, a good
addict alcoholic really thinks that they're hiding it from
everybody. But I'm pretty sure a lot of
people knew, you know, so I, I know for sure at least one
teammate knew because he called my mom on me, you know, and
(11:42):
we're grown men. And here's my mom coming to Fort
Myers, you know, checking in on me, you know, part of it was,
and I said I, I, I grew up in a Leave It to Beaver family.
My mom and dad are great, but mydad being in baseball, you know,
all this stuff going on and they, they couldn't put a finger
on it. But he's, you know, it's part of
the lie he tell my mom. It's part of the lifestyle.
And she's like, no, I think something bigger is going on.
(12:04):
And I'll tell the story how I got sober.
I was in a big league spring training with the Cincinnati
Reds in 2006 and my roommate wasfrom West Palm Beach.
He'd obviously driven over to Sarasota and I'd flown in for
spring training. So, you know, once he gets the
same old story man, we got done with practice that day, he's
(12:24):
like, hey, you want to go to strip clubs this year?
So we jump in, his in his car, drive a strip club, have few
drinks, then drive back to the hotel.
So we're in a hotel and I'm sitting there and I'm waiting
for him to pass out because I'm going to get the keys to his
BMW, go down MLK to the crack house and get some crack.
He passes out, I grab the keys to his brand new BMW, drive down
(12:48):
to the crack house in Sarasota, FL Going to the crack house had
a couple $100 on me smoked crack, you know, it's gone in an
hour or two. And one guy approaches me and
hey, hey, can I borrow that car to go to Tampa?
And this is like 3 or 4 O clock in the morning.
I said sure man, take the car. And so he takes the car.
Well I'm still sitting in this crack house around 7:30 in the
(13:11):
morning. No car cracked out of my mind.
Practice starts at 8:00 and I'm I'm careful like, you know, this
is part of it, like because I'venever had a fault like this ever
in my life. But I remember while I'm walking
down, you know, it's so vivid. I'm walking down U.S. 41 time
Miami Trail in Sarasota. And I remember thinking, hey,
(13:33):
man, it's all over. You know, you just, you've
thrown everything in the trash. It's all gone and all.
And I was, you know, I've never really had suicidal thoughts
before. You know, it's gone, as I'll
explain later, when I got into rehab, like I'm like AI felt
like I was my you know, I was I'm I'm God.
You know, that's kind of how I saw myself and I wanted to just
(13:55):
throw myself in front of a car. You know, that morning and never
really that that's the only timein my life I've ever had it
fought like that where I wanted to kill myself.
But something grabbed a hold of me that morning and I walked
over to a pay phone, called my mom and you know, I'm trying to
cry on you. But my mom, she said, hey, get
back to the hotel. We're going to get you back to
(14:17):
Texas. I said.
I said, all right, so you know, I did what she told me to do.
Got back to the hotel. The police were there still no
car. You know, guards in some crab
dealers hands, you know, and good part of the story.
The car came back the next day. I guess I wasn't there to to see
it. I was already on a plane back to
Texas. Cincinnati Reg released me on
(14:38):
the spot. I went back to Texas and then
that's when we started trying tofigure things out.
So but yeah, got back to Texas and you know, even at that point
and you know, in this whole 7 years, three MLB drug tests
failed, lost two cars. At this point I lost my own.
I had a big truck on 24 inch wheels, you know that I same
(15:04):
type of thing had happened and it never came back.
Lost this guy at BMW and all these bad things have happened
and still here I am. I finally agreed to go to rehab
and I'm in rehab and I still don't think I have a problem.
You know, I'm looking at this isback in Dallas and back then and
it still may be the case, but black tar heroin was a big
(15:25):
problem in the Dallas Fort Wortharea.
And so I'm in this rehab with about 100 hundred people.
It's Coed and, you know, a couple people Oded and died and,
you know, I'm looking around at all these people like 10.
These people are losers. You know, why am I here?
You know that I do not belong here.
I shouldn't be part of this. Like, you know, I am way better
(15:46):
than these people. And so I go on for a couple
weeks thinking that way while I'm in rehab.
And lo and behold, you know, it's part of my problem too.
There was a girl in there and I ended up sleeping with this girl
in rehab, which, you know, any kind of rehab that's it's
totally against the rules. And so I slept with this girl in
rehab. Well, I guess she decided that
(16:07):
she needed to tell her counselorthe next day.
She told her counselor. So my counselor comes to me that
next day. He goes, hey, you got something
to tell me? I said no, I'm good.
And he goes, hey, you slept withso and so I said no man, I
didn't do that. He goes, yeah, you did.
He said you got 2 choices. A you can get the hell out of
here or B, you can tell the patient group that you put them
(16:32):
in danger. You can tell your parents and
you can tell your girlfriend. My girlfriend is my wife now.
My girlfriend I had met three years previously.
I met her in 2003. I am married to her today.
And so with those options, options in front of me and be in
the pussy that I am, I was like,I'm leaving.
(16:54):
So I go back to my room and I'm packing my shit up, about to
walk out of my room. And you know, I've talked about
this lot. There's, you know, 99% of this
is Jesus. And I did, I put Jesus on the
shelf and I'm about to walk out of that room.
And, you know, it's it, it's most like for a spiritual
(17:18):
relationship, most of it takes it's long.
You know, it takes time. But then there's some of those
burning Bush moments you have. And I was about to walk out of
my room and I had a burning Bushmoment and it hit me smack dab
in the face. It's like, dude, where am I
going to go? I'm the only one getting kicked
out of here. What does that mean?
(17:38):
Like I'm the biggest loser in here.
And I started thinking about like being in these rooms, you
know, where you get your emotions out and you talk about
the trauma and things like you're, you know, and then
that's what sucks, man. Like the people that were in
there with me had been abused, had been sexually molested, had
loved ones die. They had all these wonderful
(17:59):
excuses to use drugs, right? You know that that a normal put,
you know, that sucks, man. And I get it, man.
And I understand why you use drugs.
Nothing like that ever happened to me.
I didn't have any excuses. I just wanted to have more fun,
you know, and that it hit, I waslike, dude, I'm the most selfish
person in here. I'm, I'm a son of a bitch, you
(18:20):
know? And then, then like I said, I
that's when I made the decision.I was like, dude, I got to take
this seriously. And I'm really screwed up
because I don't have these excuses.
I don't have anywhere to go and I have serious problem.
I can't stop on my own, you know, And so I may, I took that
first step and the next two weeks were a breeze.
I got out of there, man. You know, my my wife now.
(18:43):
He was. Yeah.
I had to tell my parents and my girlfriend at the time, who is
my wife now. Like, things got, things got
crazy. It wasn't good.
But dude, I stayed sober, man. And, you know, got out of rehab.
I did the whole yeah, that's part of the story too, man.
Like, yeah, I grew up Catholic. Yeah.
And I've always, I can, dude, I can go to a church and RIP it
(19:03):
apart, right. And so I got out of got out of
rehab, didn't really want to go to church.
I was like, I'm going to try to say anything.
So, you know, I was doing two tothree meetings a day.
And I get it hard, man. I was a sponsor within a couple
months that there was this really aggressive program in
(19:24):
Dallas that I went to and they were all about getting through
the steps as quick as you can and then, you know, getting
starting to be a sponsor. And so I hit the a, a hard, did
it for years. But I, I, I remember, I
remember, yeah, like I said, I could tear a church apart and,
you know, part of it, man, like,you know, I was looking at it as
(19:45):
a religion and you know, that that's the whole thing.
It's a, it's a, it's your own spiritual relationship.
And I should have listened to those words because I remember
being in a A1 day. This is years into it.
And the guy in the back stood up.
He's like, hey, my name is so and so.
And, you know, I got 30 years sobriety, my higher powers, the
future. And when I heard that, man, I,
(20:06):
you know, 'cause there's crackheads fresh off the street
in there and I'm thinking the future, man, come on, dude.
You know, it just kind of rubbedme the wrong, wrong way.
And I was like, a, A is a church.
I'm getting the hell out of here, man.
So I left a A for years, man. But you know, through my
sobriety, man, like I've learneda a church nature, my family,
(20:30):
anything and everything I do, it's all rules just to help me
grow my spiritual relationship. And so I try to go in with an
open mind everywhere I go now and use whatever it may be to
help grow my own relationship with God with Jesus Christ.
So, you know, Jesus is real. And the other, I was thinking
about this man. It was, it was this was in 2003
(20:54):
in New Britain, CT. And you know, when it first
happened and a year or two afterwards, I'd forgotten about
it. I just thought it was a dream.
And I remember I, you know, I, Iwas midway in my addiction heavy
into it. And I was doing, you know, this
is New Britain CT. There was tons of what I needed
(21:14):
up there as far as drugs. And I was laying in bed and like
I said, I thought it was a dream, but I was awoken to 4
hooded figures. I had two at my shoulder and two
at my feet. You know, they, they had hoods
on, their faces were pitch black.
You, you couldn't see any facialfeatures.
And I remember being scared out of my mind and I couldn't move,
(21:37):
I couldn't talk. And then that was the scary part
because I couldn't move my arms,I couldn't move my legs.
It was like they were holding medown.
They were pinning me. And I, you know, I, I remember
letting out after I don't know how long it was, I finally got
out of yell and then they disappeared.
And for the longest time I thought it was a dream and I
(21:58):
didn't think it was real. And, you know, over the years,
like I've come to find out, I mean, dude like that man that,
that I don't want to give him too much time on your show.
But the devil exists, man. The evil is out there, man.
And you know, that evil was in my heart.
You know what? That and I'm, I'm grateful that
I've got the relationship I havenow and that I've been been able
(22:20):
to, I like the word Andy, 'causeyou know, when you, when you're
growing up Catholic, man, repentsounds terrible.
I got to get in front of this priest and tell him all these
bad things I've done. But all it means is just turn
around, you know, and it's nevertoo late to turn around, man.
And I and I got the chance to turn around and and change my
(22:41):
life for the better man so. Yeah, I'm.
I'm sure I've just one of many in your life, all in your life
that are glad you did that and, you know, glad you're here to,
to share. You know, as you said, the war
stories, but more importantly, you come through them all.
You know, one thing that amazes me is that through all of this,
you end up back in baseball somehow.
(23:03):
Right. Yeah.
So I, I, I never thought it would happen.
And it's when I first got sober,I was like, no way I'm going to
be able to put myself back in that environment.
Well, I guess I started going tothat really aggressive group in,
in Dallas and had a mentor theresponsor, whatever you want to
call him. But he's like, you can go
(23:23):
anywhere. You can do anything as long as
your motives are in check. And I'm like, all right.
And he started getting in my head and I started learning more
and I'm like, dude, I can go anywhere.
I can do anything as long as I know why I'm there and the, and
the reasons are good. And so I get started getting,
you know, some months of sobriety under my belt, agents,
(23:47):
you know, hey, why don't you give us another shot?
So I did. And so in 2007, I've just got, I
went and played for an independent team called the 4th
Cats. You know, it's 20 minutes from
my house. Had a really good season with
the 4th Cats. And the next thing I know I'm in
Dodger Blue Man playing AAA baseball.
And The funny thing about that is 2008.
(24:09):
So I'm about, I don't know, a year and a half, two years sober
and I'm living in the gold nugget on the on the downtown in
Las Vegas, man. And, you know, I was sober man,
but I still wasn't a good person, you know, and, and it,
it, it took me, God, my, my, my sexual misconduct, man, I was,
(24:30):
it took me forever to clean thatup, man.
I, I, it took me until about 2011, end of 2011 before I
became a one woman man. And, you know, as far as my
morals go and what, what Jesus wants me to do and that, you
know, that to the standard I am now, you know, but back, you
know, in Vegas, I was a wild man, but I stayed sober man.
(24:53):
So, you know, but yeah, I got, Igot to play, I got to play for
another six years after that man, you know, and I don't know
how much it weighed into it, youknow, cuz the three MLB drug
tests I've failed, you know, it and the, some of the things I
had done, I don't know how much I drug my name through the dirt.
And I wasn't given the greatest opportunity, but I was given an
(25:17):
opportunity, man. I'm blessed for that.
Cuz, you know, I got a uniform on man, and I'm getting paid to
play baseball. So yeah, it's it's, it's fine.
So. In hindsight, any idea what was
the final thing? Or maybe it was wasn't the final
thing, but that they got your, as you said, your morality just
(25:38):
to lock in finally. It was just like I kept growing
in the growing in the spirit man.
And so, you know, and I, I had another guy explained to me,
he's like, he's like, dude, you know, it may have been a
hypothetical character that he was talking about.
He's like, you know, I got a buddy, I had a buddy of mine who
got sober and, you know, his goal was to sleep with one woman
(26:00):
a week. And, and so he got to that goal.
He stopped sleeping with multiple women a week.
And so he started sleeping with one woman a week.
And then he was, he's like, you know, I'm going to sleep with
one woman a month. And, you know, one woman a year.
I'm going to have, I'm going to make it a goal to have a
girlfriend and just be faithful to her.
And then, you know, I'm going tomake it a goal to get married
(26:22):
and have a wife that I'm faithful to.
And, and it was kind of like that for me, man.
Like, you know, it was step by step, you know, and with that
being said to like I said, I'm aself.
I was, I still am a selfish person, not as much as I was
back then, but my wife Sylvia, who I met in 2003, has been, has
(26:48):
been unbelievable, you know, andhad my back and she's seen well,
the way she explains it, she's like, I know what you were
capable of and that's why I stayed.
And, you know, we have a great marriage.
Like I said, we've, we've been together since 2003.
We got married in 2013. And it took me forever to see,
(27:09):
see that, you know, because I was such a selfish person, I
couldn't see past myself, you know, her love and I see I'm
grateful, man. I get to wake up every day with
her man, and it's awesome feeling and so, but it was it
was step by step man, like I I like I said, I was screwed up
sexually too, man, I was AI was a hoe, you know, so.
You know one of the things that is amazing in all of your roller
(27:34):
coaster ride and we're. We're not done.
I know Yeah. The the the thing the only
things that really still bring out the emotion in you is
talking about your mom and talking about your wife.
Yeah, man. So we talk about like divine
intervention in Jesus, but man is just, is there divine
motherly love? Is it?
Is it someone seeing you the wayyou don't see yourself like?
(27:55):
Well, you know, that's the thingtoo.
And that's what, you know, I don't, you know, I don't go to a
a lot. I go, I, we go to church every
Sunday. But as far as giving back, you
know, I got, I'll see a guy out on the streets, you know, that's
probably a drug addict and I'll look at him and I'm like, damn,
it's got to suck, man. Because for me, dude, I had a
(28:17):
great support system, man. I had a mom and a dad that loved
me that would go to the end of the earth for me.
I had a girlfriend and a wife. Now that I mean, she had my,
she's my, she's got a hat that says she's first generation
Mexican man. And she's got a hat that says
ride or die. You know, she's got got a little
gangster in her, but she's like,I'm your ride or die bitch.
(28:38):
And I'm like, I know you are so.But yeah, man, I, I was blessed
in that fact too, because I had people around me that really
freaking cared. And I, and I know other people
do too, but some don't, man, youknow?
And then that sucks. And so I, I'm grateful for that
man. At some point, the next thing
(28:59):
for you, you begin waking up with kind of a, a feeling of
numbness, right? So.
Towards the end of my career I would have these.
This was in 2011, 2012. I'd have these weird things
where I'd tilt my head down and I get these electric shocks in
my fingers and toes. And so I just I just marked it
off of being tired. You know, I'm wearing myself out
(29:19):
playing baseball every day. You know, that's what it is and
progress. The 2013 I wake up and my left
foot's numb. You know, I was like, why is my
you know, I had no idea why it was numb and it stayed numb the
entire freaking day. And it was.
I had never experienced that thing anything like that.
My wife in my life, so Long story short, by the end of the
(29:43):
fifth day, neck down was numb, couldn't feel anything, lost
control of my bowels. When I would try to walk, I
couldn't feel the ground. So I didn't know where I was
stepping. I was halfway falling down.
And at that point, you know, it was that fifth day my wife come
home and she said, but she wasn't we were, we were about to
get married and she said, you know, you need to go emergency
(30:03):
room. I said, no, it's you know, it'll
be fine. It's going to go away.
Well, she convinced me and I, wegot up there, you know, I'm
thinking I've had a stroke or something and they run the MRI
and everything and they come back that, that first time in
2013, they said I had this thingcalled transverse myelitis and
they said, hey, you got transverse myelitis.
(30:26):
You know, five years from now, if you don't have another event,
you're fine. Well, you know, I took that all
I, I took that as a with a grainof salt over all right, one time
event, no big deal. You know, it's, I don't know
what caused it, but I should be fine.
Well, Fast forward to 2017. I'm here at Al in Alabama.
(30:47):
We moved here. My mom and daddy got divorced in
2012 and she moved to Alabama tobe closer to her sister.
So in 2016 we moved here to be closer to my mom. 2017, same
exact thing happens. I go to the University of
Alabama Birmingham medical clinic.
(31:08):
They run an MRII. Remember this, this is funny
story. So I'm in, I'm in the bed, I'm
laying there and they have there's a Med student in the
room. He'd come in that morning before
the doctor and he's like, hey, we got the results of your MRI
back. And I was like, yeah, I was
like, and I already been doing abunch of research on my phone at
this point. And he goes, yeah, man.
And wait for a doctor to come inand then explain it to you.
(31:29):
I said, well, what did you see? He goes, well, I was like, what
was it? And he goes, well, we saw a
couple lesions and when he said the word lesion dude, I just big
dude just started falling right.And Med student runs out of the
room scared to death. But at that point I knew I had
multiple sclerosis man. And for the next God man for the
(31:52):
next like 3 or 4 weeks, all it was I was, I was, I was
depressed man. I mean, I cried every single
day. And to that point, he, I guess
my son was, she was old enough to walk.
You know, he didn't understand what was going on.
But I'm looking at this kid, my son, and I'm like, he's going to
have a daddy that's going to be in a wheelchair.
(32:13):
You know, I like this terrible. I'm this is.
Yeah, I just, I was devastated. And, you know, it was a just got
diagnosed with a chronic debilitating disease.
And you see all these, read all these stories about people in
wheelchairs and they can't walk and this and that.
I, I didn't, I didn't know what I was going to do.
(32:34):
And I went ahead, gone home and laid in bed for three weeks,
didn't move. And my wife and my mom had been
hovering over me and doing a bunch of research, didn't get a
ton of direction from the neurologist.
You know, we're handed a bunch of packets with different
medications, had no idea which one to take.
And my wife and, and my mom had found this doctor name is Doctor
(32:57):
Terry Walls. She's written a book called The
Walls Protocol. And it's, it's a lifestyle, it's
a way to live. It's a healthy type living
lifestyle. And it, it has food, vitamins,
minerals, hormones, you know, the whole gamut, man.
And they had been studying all this and I remember it was about
3 or 4 weeks in. I just, I, I woke up one day and
(33:19):
I'm like, dude, I got to move and I got up and I took a shower
and put a smile on my face and then grabbed the book that my
wife and mom had gotten me. And I was like, dude, I'm going
to, I'm going to beat this shit.And so I started living that
way, man. And it's like, you know, you
know, no gluten, no grains, no dairy, no nightshades.
There's a plethora of pills overthere.
(33:40):
But the, my mainstay is D3. And you know, a lot of people
cringe when they hear how much D3 I take a day.
But dude, I've been taking 30,000 IU and D3 daily
consistently. For how long has it been?
It's seven years, you know, and knock on wood, man, I don't have
any symptoms, man. I say, and this is another thing
(34:01):
I'm a big advocate for. I was, it was about a month out,
well, two months out at this point.
And I'd read where women are three times more likely to get
met multiple sclerosis than men.A lot of that has to do with
testosterone. So I was like, no, I'm going to
damn hormone clinic. So I go to hormone clinic and
got tested and I was like 110 and you're supposed to be
between 300 and 800, right? And so I get prescribed
(34:23):
testosterone and literally was like in a month, like everything
went away like that. Somehow down the road, my
hormones got screwed up, which screwed up my immune system,
flipped it on its head. And when my hormones got right,
when my blood got right, it was like everything went away.
(34:44):
And then I, you know, my and my prayers at night, like you know,
I, like I said, I, I leave with Jesus and I say I, Jesus, take
away my lesions. Jesus, take away my Ms. give me
the strength to get up and go tomorrow.
And so, you know, I can talk andpray all I want to Jesus, but I
got to put in the work too, right?
And so I did this morning. This morning was cardio day and
(35:06):
I went, 4I climbed 4000 feet on the Stairmaster in less than an
hour. It's, it's almost 400 floors,
you know. And so with all this being said,
like, you know, in my current role, I call on neurologist,
right? So I, I sometimes I'm around Ms.
patients and, you know, and anytime I am addressing somebody
(35:27):
who's Ms., you know, I tell themwhat works for me.
But, and then like, most people aren't going to wake up at 3:00
in the morning and go climb a Stairmaster on 4000 feet in the
morning. But I swear by like, you know,
the way I eat, the hormones, thevitamins and minerals, the
exercise and dude, I'm perfectly, I'm, I'm in better
shape now. Like I, I'm almost in, I mean, I
(35:48):
can't say I don't, I'm not goingto take my shirt off on your
program, but I'm about 5% body fat for being in being
competition ready. And like, all I'd have to do is,
you know, they'd be, I'm, I'm 8 weeks out for the competition
ready at any point. And so, you know, I explained
all that to people that have MSIsaid this is what works for me.
(36:09):
I'm not a doctor, but this is, this is, this is how I stay
healthy. This is how I don't, I don't
have any, I don't have any tingling or anything.
I said I've been living that wayfor going on 8 years now man so.
That's amazing. So you've mentioned previously a
number of times that the importance of sharing and giving
back. So, so how is that showing up
(36:31):
that you just how, how are you talking to those patients?
What? What's bringing you in front of
people these days? Right.
So when I, when I first, when I first retired from baseball, you
know, IA, lot of the people thatI'd known over the years that
have retired early had gone intomedical device cells or
pharmaceutical cells. So that's back in 2012, 2013, I
(36:53):
was applying for these jobs, right?
And I get in these interviews and they, you know, and this is
our, this is I, I had become an extrovert at this point because
I, I, you know, where I was 711 or wherever.
Hey, man, I'm a crackhead. You know, they're on that big
cloud addict, you know, the sobriety deal.
And so I was real open and have a good personality and those the
(37:15):
interview, the interviewers go, hey, man, we love your
personality. You're great, but you don't have
any experience. And you know, that went off for
a while and I had a buddy call me and he said, hey, man, come
with me to get a car tomorrow. And I said, all right.
And then what do I, I, that's why I own a repo company.
That's OK, I'll do I need a gun.He said, no, just just come
with. So I go with him, We pick up
(37:36):
this car. He we pull up to the car, he
lets me out of the car and givesme the keys.
So I just go get that car out ofthe driveway.
OK, So you know, not thinking I'm walking up in this driveway
and then all of a sudden it hit me and my heart's racing.
I'm like, Oh my God, this is crazy.
And take the car and like it's like gone in 60 seconds.
Nicolas Cage, but legal, right? We get back to the lot and I
(38:00):
asked was how much do you make the car?
And he said 608 hundred a car and I do 4 to 6 a day.
So I rolled repo on cars for thenext three or four years with
him back in the Dallas 4th area and totally put the pharma
cells, medical device cells on the back burner.
Well, you know, over that time period we had decided, hey, my
(38:21):
mom's in Alabama, let's move to Alabama.
We ain't got nothing going on. So I took the thing first thing
I came across in Birmingham and it was selling copiers.
And so came to Birmingham, AL selling copiers and that was God
awful, but it gave me the experience I needed.
And that's when I made the jump into pharmaceutical cells.
(38:44):
And then it progressed really quickly.
I, I was, I started off an entrylevel position.
But This is why I am grateful for Ms. man, because you know,
over the years just doing the study and on my own, I'm not an
expert on neurodegenerative and neuromuscular diseases, but it's
my hobby, man. I study it.
(39:05):
I read everything on it and I made the jump from entry level
to rare disease, which most of these, my team, they all have 15
or 20 years experience, whereas I have, I have six years, you
know, And so I, I made a huge jump from entry level to rare
disease that we do, I work for Johnson and Johnson and, and,
(39:26):
and our I educate neurologist onmy city of Gravis and I teach
them how to treat it. So, yeah, so that's, that's my
current role. And Ms. played a huge part in
that. And so I get to be around
neurologists all day. I get to talk to them about how
I live. You know, sometimes I run into
patients, talk to them about howI live and, and what works for
(39:48):
me. And, and yeah, that's, that's
part of the giving back, you know, but, but the biggest part
of giving back is, like I said, I don't spend a lot of time in a
A and we go to church once a week.
And I've discovered over the years that, like I said, talking
about 7-11, but like 711 or Circle K or at the gym or when I
pull up at a stop sign. And then, you know, and this may
(40:10):
be controversial, but if there'sa dude at a stop sign asking for
cash, dude, I know what it is not to have money.
I know what it is to want to be high and not be able to get
high. And.
I'm giving the dude, if I got $100 on me, I'm giving him $100.
You know, I'm giving him $100. Say, hey, dude, Jesus loves you.
It ain't got to be like this, you know, do what you need to
(40:31):
do, man. You know, and, and if he takes
$100 and goes and buys whatever,man, that's man, at least, hey,
at least he got some comfort too.
At least he was, he didn't do anything crazy like steal
something to rob somebody, man. And so those are the things that
I do, man, like talk, just talking to people in my daily
life. Like just yesterday, yeah, I had
(40:52):
a nurse come in and she's like, she's like, man, you have an
awesome testimony. We'll, we tell my friend.
And, you know, so I, I don't, I don't worry if people judge me.
I and I've seen it in some people's eyes, like when you
tell them you're a crackhead. And, you know, like, sometimes I
do it for the shock value and other times I just tell them I'm
an addict. You know, it's great.
So sometimes you want to see people's, people's aghast at it,
(41:14):
you know, just so 'cause they don't picture that, you know, it
is what it is. But anywhere I'm at, man, as if
I have the opportunity, man, I'mtelling my testimony, you know,
'cause there's, I mean, you know, there's addicts and
alcohol. It's, you know, it's a, it's a
epidemic, man. And run into them every day.
And if they hear me talk about it, maybe it might help them in
(41:37):
the future, man. So Kelly, looking back on your
whole journey, what stands out as the thing that you are most
proud of most? Proud of, there's a couple
things, man, but I'm most proud of the relationship because my
mom is. So it's funny story.
(41:57):
So yeah, I grew up Catholic. My mom's still Catholic, right?
And she was the spiritual personin our family.
Like I said, my dad, I love my dad.
He's a great guy. I'm going to tell him to listen
to this dude. I love him, you know, and but my
mom was a spiritual backbone andshe was the one that always
tried to make church a priority and get us to Sunday school and
(42:20):
do things like that. And, you know, baseball was such
a priority and it and it for me,it was a priority, man.
It wasn't just my dad, man. I was like, what God practice
got to do this, got to do that, man.
If we're playing on Sunday, all right, we're on a date, we're
going to baseball game, you know, and my mom, that's all she
wanted us. She wanted us to have a
(42:41):
relationship with God. She wanted us to know Jesus
Christ. And I was just this was just
last week, you know, my mom, I remember, I'll never forget it.
Like I go to a non denominational church.
You know, I'm just, I don't, I hate labels, man.
And you know, politically I'm I'm a libertarian Religiously,
(43:02):
I'm just a follower of Jesus, man.
Like I don't, I don't want to belabeled left or right.
I don't want to be labeled as a Catholic or Baptist or whatever,
you know, I do. I just follow Jesus, man.
And I don't you know. So anyways, you know, I got re
baptized. My mom's like, what did you do?
They got re baptized. Mom, this is years back and
(43:23):
she's like, that's that religious.
You've already been baptized. And I'm like, yeah, mom, that
was for you. This one was for me, you know,
so I wanted people to know that I have a relationship with God,
with Jesus. And she's, she's kind of been
accepting of that. But just last week we were
talking and she's like, you know, I've been reading the
Bible and been going to church, been going to mass and I would,
(43:45):
it would be awesome if you started going back to mass and I
was like, mom, look, I, I have arelationship with Jesus.
You try not to cry again, but I have a relationship with Jesus,
mom, and you should be proud of that because you're the one that
got that going. You're the one that planted that
(44:07):
seed in my heart from the very get go.
And now I have a relationship with Jesus because of you.
All right, so I don't need to goto Catholic mass.
I'm going to go where I damn well please.
You know, so I'm, I'm proud of the relationship I have with
Jesus and I'm also really proud of my family, man, because
through it all, in my, in my buzz, in all the confusion of
(44:34):
being doped out of my mind for seven years, I came through that
hell with the most perfect person, you know, And I am proud
of my family and I'm proud of mywife, man, because God, how did
that happen, dude? You know, So, you know, and I
don't know if you, you know, sick people seek sick people,
(44:56):
you know, and I'm not, I can't say that she's gonna listen to
this. But I didn't say she was sick.
But, you know, she didn't grow it along the way too.
So she she might have been, she might have been a, what is it
called? A codependent.
Codependent. There you go, man.
She, she's never had a drug and alcohol problem, but she she had
a Kelly problem. She liked to fix Kelly and that
(45:19):
she no longer has to fix Kelly, man.
So beautiful. Yeah, that's those are the
things I'm most proud of. I'm proud of my relationship
with Jesus and I'm proud of my family, man, because, dude, it's
just it's it's a miracle. You know, I, I didn't even tell
the the story. How you know, it's a miracle how
we we met and we met and and this is dude.
Have you ever been to Stockton, CA?
(45:42):
No, it's Stockton is like the worst place for somebody
addicted, addicted to crack cocaine to be.
It's terrible there. So I was in Stockton in 2003
and, you know, at the height of my addiction.
And I remember we'd gone out thenight before and I, I was trying
to talk to this girl and this Mexican girl would come up to me
(46:03):
and she, he totally cock blockedme and he like just holy, ruined
my game. And she was kind of, she was a
little heavier set. She was very vulgar and you
know, I was taken aback by it and what I what I was doing that
night didn't happen because of this girl.
(46:23):
So the next night after the game, we go out and if there was
this we've been invited this house party.
We go this house party and I walk in and I see that same girl
that had cock blocked me the night before and standing next
to her was this dark hair, dark skin.
She had a short little Jean miniskirt on man.
(46:45):
She was beautiful and she had a beautiful smile.
And I wanted to talk to her so bad, but there was this girl
that was just had really ruined it the night before and she was
with her all night and I finallygot the nerve to go over and
talk to her. And that was my wife, man.
We met in 2003 in Stockton, CA. And that girl, it's name is
(47:07):
Monique and that's her best friend.
Monique's a stand up comedian inLA now, man.
But yeah, we met in Stockton, CAand it was a long distance
relationship for a while. It's just, it's a miracle how
everything worked out, man. So proud of my wife, proud of my
son, proud of the relationship Ihad with Jesus, you know?
Kelly, what's the best way for people to connect with you or
(47:29):
you want any social media platforms or.
The the only social media I haveright now, I, I, I'm on
LinkedIn. A long time ago it was I, I'd
had, I had Facebook and things like that, but I realized like
it was more drama than, you know, anything.
So I've, I've limited myself to LinkedIn, but you can find me on
(47:52):
LinkedIn if you want to send me a message or you don't want to
talk. It's just type in Kelly
Gulledge. You'll find me on LinkedIn So.
And finally, Kelly, what do you wish more men knew?
What what I expressed earlier, man, that the cause, like I
said, when I was a kid and growing up, that word repent was
scary. And it's never too late.
(48:15):
You know what I'm saying? It's never too late to do the
right thing. It's never too late to turn
around. You always have an opportunity
until your last breath to turn around.
I don't always say this to people.
I know if I ever say this to people, I am super proud of you.
Thanks dude. We we've just talked twice in
our lives. You're such a genuine, grounded,
(48:36):
real dude. I'm amazed.
You're making me cry, Andy. I'm amazing you could ever be
called an introvert, but yeah, you were, you know, divine
intervention. You're blessed.
You're chosen. You were meant to not just
survive this, but to thrive this.
Yeah. Man, and just kudos to you and
(48:57):
nothing but love for you and your entire family.
Dude, I appreciate it Andy, and thanks for giving me this
opportunity. You know, this is another way to
give back, man. So I really.
Appreciate it man. What an incredible journey for
Kelly. From despair to purpose.
Multiple times, Kelly reminds usall that no matter how far down
you might fall, you can always come back.
Redemption is always possible. If today's conversation moved
(49:20):
you, remember you don't have to go through life alone.
Join me and other men committed to living with authenticity,
courage, and connection inside my online community.
Authentic AF where the real conversations can happen.
Sign up at realmenfeel.org/groupand until next time, be good to
yourself.
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