Unleashing Your Soulful Power | The Power of Choice - Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hello and welcome to real men field.
I am your host author coach and healer Indy Grant.
Please visit v&e great.com to learn more about that room and
feel exist to remind men that they are human beings and they
have the right to experience andexpress all of their emotions.
We have the conversations that most men aren't having but that
all men can benefit from while 2023 is still a very fresh year.

(00:24):
I'm reminded of the opening of ATale of Two Cities.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times it was
Was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.
It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity.
It was the season of light. It was the season of Darkness.
It was the spring of hope. It was the winter of Despair.
We had everything before us. We had nothing before us.

(00:47):
We were all going direct to heaven and were all going direct
the other way. Now to me that can describe
today, as well as when it was written in 1859.
So I found myself wondering, youknow, how might someone step?
To serve the light to, to add tothe wisdom, to create the best
of times. My guest today is Christian

(01:08):
Delaware. Te with 30 years of experience,
Christian is a sought-after spiritual teacher, personal
transformation coach, and leading voice in the breathwork
community. He has traveled the world
offering inspiring and transformative for treats,
combining psychological and spiritual teachings, with
lasting and life-changing effects.
His newest book, his newest book, Awakening the soul of
power has won multiple Awards and was Bye.

(01:30):
Grammy Award winner Gloria Estefan as a balm for the soul
of anyone searching for truth and answers to Life's difficult
questions. Welcome to real Midfield
Christian and they thanks so much.
Thanks for having me and wow. What a beautiful reading you
started as out with? Yeah, I think everyone
remembers, you know, best of times.
The worst of times I went to look it up and make sure I'm

(01:50):
like, oh, there's a whole wonderful paragraph but you
know, since high school, I've forgotten.
Yeah, me too me too. I've forgotten what a beautiful
way. That's that begins.
Yeah, and I feel like Again at the dawn of a new year, probably
every year is like that, you have the opportunity to go both
ways for the for the best or theworst to see the like to see the
darkness and what I really like about your work and your message

(02:14):
is that call to make the choice to decide for yourself to to add
value, to the world, to be a hero to the world or not.
Is that is that accurate? Yeah, you know it's like it's
that you reading resonated so much with me because I do
believe that we're in those kindof really critical times, I

(02:35):
believe we're like Make It or Break It times.
The planet will be fine and might take several million years
but life will continue. The planet will find homeostasis
again, Consciousness will continue evolving, who knows?
Maybe it turns out to be an enlightened cockroach Planet.
Whether we make it, that's what we're beginning to face.

(02:56):
We're just now beginning. Getting to witness and to
experience, whatever it is that we have Unleashed on the
environment of which covid is a symptom of our relationship to
Nature. So, if anybody watching this has
the slightest inkling, that the slightest suspicion that they

(03:17):
have features as healers as activists and promoters of
change. This is it?
This is the time that we've beenwaiting for.
Yeah, cool. And so, you write a lot and
speak a lot about Is no power and heroism, heroism.
Have you always felt that that sense of your own heroic self?
Oh my God, are you kidding me? I struggled with owning you know

(03:41):
that word hero or even owning the word, a teacher.
My adolescence was one long depression I know self-doubt, in
fact, I know self-hatred and I also know how you can get out of
it, right? Because that's flash-forward.
Today I no matter what doesn't whether a project succeeds or

(04:04):
fails and quotes, never ever. Ever do.
I question my sense of self. My self-worth is unshakeable and
and so I know that, that, that can happen to me.
It can happen in anybody. And that's part of what those my
work is about is helping people to that level of empowerment and
freedom. So you mentioned your child was,

(04:26):
was just really a long depression and I know Your, you
don't have a traditional childhood so tell me tell me a
bit about your upbringing. I was born in Cuba and I lived,
you know, and a Communist Regimefor the first 10 years of my
life. And so I always kind of felt
like the outsider. I don't like something like,

(04:47):
like, I didn't belong when we came to this state, we lived in
Georgia, the rural Georgia the Milledgeville Georgia for the
first three years. And I didn't speak a word of
English. So really, you know, felt
different really never felt thatI belong there, either.
And an about a minute that your family applied for a visa to

(05:09):
emigrate to leave. You were labeled gusano which
means warm bike, even by the teachers in, you know, first
second, third grade. And then once had finally
learned English and had this Great Southern accent, we move
back to Miami were, you know, went to a Jesuit High School,

(05:30):
that was 90, probably 95% cuban-american.
So I stood out again all over Because I sounded like a Georgia
Peach. So yeah, I think that that theme
of feeling different of feeling like the other has been
prevalent in me all my life and challenging for sure going up

(05:53):
and there's a lot of, you know, wisdom and value that comes from
that from from feeling differentfrom not belonging to me though
it's all of it was part of what helped me become who I I am
today. So today, how would you define
heroism? You know, that's, that's how I

(06:14):
start the book because like me, I know many people struggle with
the word heroism. In fact, I had a couple of
publishing, you know, writing Consultants is that.
No, don't don't put that word because people don't know what
to do with that. And the reason for that is is
because we it's really easy for us to project that outside and
to honor, you know, heroism in somebody else like a like a

(06:35):
warrior first. Van Der, you know, and even EMT
fire firefighters, the pandemic I think helped us to expand that
a little bit. So now most of us I think would
include our Healthcare practitioners or doctors or
nurses or respiratory therapist or really Place their lives at
risk and I would even include intheir grocery store clerks on

(06:58):
delivery, people who had in the worst of it made a lot of
sacrifices to keep that the restof us fat and provided for it.
Taking care of and then the question becomes, well, what
about the rest of us? And so, what I write in the in
this book, it's like ways of living that are nothing less

(07:19):
than heroic. So, so, for example, it's really
easy to react and and big. When somebody says or does
something that we interpreted aspainful and to get them back and
say, something back to them or take revenge on them, anybody
can do that too. To take a pause to take a deep
breath to feel that ouch and choose otherwise like, actually

(07:45):
just bringing Choice back into the equation to me, as heroic,
you know, to Splatter somebody against the wall, anybody can do
that to take the high road. So it's a different story here
to have to walk around rather than to be willing to dive deep
inside. And to face or inner demons are

(08:08):
our shadow stuff rather than going through life.
You know, just numbing out like most of us do and and
self-medicating with substances and food and sex and gaming, and
social media and workaholism. And all of the ways in which we
are. So creatively numb out and run
away from our feelings like, like you're like your podcast

(08:33):
often talks about to be willing to To do that is to learn how to
feel. Like if you would have asked me
30 years ago, you know what I was feeling, I had no idea I
couldn't tell you because I had no idea and so to, you know,
we've got this whole misunderstanding that to feel is
weakness. And I think it's the other way
around to look to know what we're feeling and to learn how

(08:56):
to communicate those feelings responsibly like owning that
there are feelings and nobody can make us feel anything. 2 & 2
in a way with courage, because it's always going to take
courage to communicate that compassion in the moment.
And, and communicate them gracefully meaning in a way that
the other person can hear it, not just dumping them like, a

(09:19):
two-year-old, and pointing the finger and blaming them, which
is only going to cause a shutdown on the other side, to
me, that's nothing short of heroic.
Yep. I agree.
And I love that you said, you know, going inward because I
certainly didn't realize this while I was growing up, but I've
come to really realize an experience that the my greatest

(09:41):
fears are in me. Like, it was easier to blame and
look around and but that's the easy stuff.
But yeah, it took a shitload of Courage, typically to look at my
own personal darkness, and why am I so depressed?
And why do I think I'm better off dead?
And it's all in us and our are darker Center.
Light is in us and our heroic ISM and our Item is it's all

(10:04):
inside of us and that's why I love all you saying that her
heroism is really pausing and making that choice.
Yes. Because we all do have that
power to choose, always always, and to the intermediate also
heroic, just to pop ourselves out of that old and boring react
and regret cycle. Right?

(10:26):
Because we react as somebody got, uh, somebody said something
that was hurtful and so we get them back but what happens, you
know, though, the the adrenalinedoes It's again, our letter was
like later, we're like, oh my God, I can't believe I said
that. That was so mean I did.
That's not what I really wanted to say and we cause harm to
other people into our relationships and ultimately we
don't really want to be that way, but it's the way that we've

(10:48):
been conditioned and it's kind of what happens where as you
know, when we suppress your emotions, what used to be
spiritual teaching. That, that everything is energy.
Now, we know from quantum physics, it's all energy.
That includes the body. That includes the emotions.
We know from physics to that energy cannot be destroyed.
So all those times those countless times that we have

(11:10):
stuffed our emotions that we have suppressed them because we
didn't, we didn't feel safe because little boys, don't cry
because we didn't want to be perceived as weakness, because
we didn't want to rock the boat too much.
And so, we wanted to maintain that illusion of peace.
That stuff doesn't go away. It gets it gets lodged in the

(11:31):
tissues of the body. And what happens is that After
years and Decades of suppressing, emotions of the
lifetime. In some of our cases, we walk
around with layers and layers and layers of repressed.
Emotional crap, and unhealed past trauma.
Which would then start projecting, we're trying to have
a relationship in the present moment.
In all of it is getting filteredthrough all that and he'll

(11:52):
stuff. Like to me, it's amazing.
It's mind-boggling that any relationships can work because
we haven't been taught, like, how to hold them, how to
approach him. And we haven't been taught about
During our stuff so that we stopped, you know throwing it on
each other's lap and yeah, go ahead.
I often say that yeah every emotion will be felt and if it's

(12:14):
something we stuff it's got to come out sideways and distorted
and in response to something that has nothing to do with the
original trauma incident. Whatever, that feeling was yet,
you decided you decided to suppress, so, right?
And and especially for guys, youknow, because you know what, I
think is that I get into the book is have a chapter that that
all about what it means to be a man.
In the 21st century because thisconflicted and build that

(12:36):
relationship. We've had with power for the
several units, thousand years ofthe patriarchy which is more
power about hierarchy about my way or the highway Cowboy
mentality. You know power over power
related to fear fourth domination control.

(12:57):
I'm going to push you down and step on you.
In order for me to feel powerfulof course, women and The
Feminine. Have have have paid a price for
that. The feminine energies have have
paid a price for that, but so have men.
And so do men still like the to me.
That's one of the reasons why the mortality rate is so
different, like in the US, womenoutlive Men by five years

(13:21):
globally, by seven years. And I think that part of the
reason for that is because we'vegot this mistaken idea of what
it means to be a man. And so we walk around like
there's uncaring unfeeling. IRobot, and those energies have
to come out, one way or the other.
So they start showing up as physical symptoms, as illness

(13:43):
disease cancer, heart attacks all sir.
And and it's part of the reason why we're so unhappy too because
it's such a limited and limitingperspective and of what it means
to be a man. So what, what is the healthiest
most fulfilling way to express masculinity today?

(14:08):
Hmm, that's a great question. That's, that's part of what.
I, what I did in that chapter is, look at some of the
traditional ways in which, you know, which we associate as
traditional male roles and, and kind of update them redefine
them for the 21st century. So, let's look at the one of
them. The provider it was It's such a

(14:29):
part of the identity for so manyof us, as guys.
You know, I'm the one who bringshome the bacon.
But if we look at the numbers, Ithink the last numbers that I
have of her 2017, I need to get the more recent figures but in
2017 in forty percent of heterosexual households in the
US, the woman is it has higher income is bringing in more than

(14:53):
the man. And 50% more than 50% of college
graduates are now women. So we can see which way this is
going for by men were being replaced by Robotics and
computers and out sourced by, you know, to Global it by
globalization. And so no wonder that so many

(15:14):
men are having an identity crisis.
Know if I'm not the provider then who am I?
And so no wonder that. So there's so many men who are
having a crisis right now, I think that I was reading the
couple of days ago eight millionmen in the US have just given
up, they're not even trying to define a job when they're plenty
of jobs available to be had and and no wonder that so many men

(15:35):
are wanting to go back to the way that it was in the 50s is
idealized version of of life in the 50s and so you notice it's
like I look at that as like whatabout a different way of what it
means to provide like that's it,are we really going to Fine
ourselves as a man by the size of our paycheck.

(16:00):
It's like, wow, that's really limiting if that's what you
think of yourself and your role in who you are as a human being,
that's by by the size of your paycheck.
Yikes. But so many of us do.
And so, so for example, another way that we can express that.
What about big providing for your family, for your household,
for your loved ones, a safe environment, where

(16:22):
psychologically emotionally, safe word, Where everybody can
just Blossom and you know that that that role as The Rock and
that out that's going to always going to have your back and then
all of our kids, our family can just Blossom and explore with
who they are and and that is priceless to be able to have
that is priceless infinitely more valuable than the size of

(16:48):
the contribution of a paycheck, right?
And they pointed out because I have never met anyone that talks
about Their experiences as a child and their dad like, oh
yeah, payday was the favorite need.
Show us his check and we all celebrated, but it's all about,
you know, being a provider of love, and joy.
And that's what makes the positive memories and yes, it

(17:11):
tight family, and, and can change the world for the better.
Exactly, exactly. Well, the Explorer, you know,
it's another traditional role ofthat men have played as the
Explorer, and at least on this little planet, we're running.
Running out of space, has two places to explore less.
You go deep deep, deep into the ocean or far into outer space.

(17:32):
But what about exploring yourself in?
What about what you were just talking about the, you know,
being willing to die, then an Explorer like to have to face
our shadow, to face our fears face or inner demons that is
heroic. That is the stuff of Heroes.
And let me know if you're seeingthis, I'm seeing more men doing

(17:53):
that and younger and Younger. Like the the yes the newest
generation seem willing to dive in at much earlier ages and then
I really gives me hope for everything so you speak about
Soulful power often. So could you define Soulful
power? Yeah, and let me zoom out a
little bit to talk a little bit about talk a little bit more
about to set the context for it.I think most of us have an

(18:17):
ambivalent, and I would even sayconflicted relationship to power
part of us wants it part of us is afraid of it.
And I think, you know, the more that I dive into this and
Retreats and with coaching clients, I think what we fear
that if we really stepped into our power, into all of who we
are, that other people might notbe able to accept to do handle

(18:37):
it and that we might end up rejected alone and who wants
that? I think we also fear that we
might abuse it and no wonder howmany times throughout our lives.
Have we witnessed and experienced abuses of power.
And then on top of that we've been corrupted we've been Stand
conditioned to believe that powers bad that power corrupts.

(18:59):
Absolute power corrupts, absolutely and what good-hearted
person wants to be corrupted. So when you add to the mix, the
fact that we have also been conditioned that the emotions
and feelings are bad and weakness.
We hate conflict. We avoid confrontation.
What happens is that we end up giving away our power.

(19:21):
We end up selling out on our ourinnate Inherent power that
nobody can give to us. Nobody can take away.
We are the only ones who give itaway.
And what I find most tragic about that is the reasons for
which we give it away. So how many times have we said?
Yes, when inside, we really feelno like inside, it's really not.

(19:42):
Okay. With us, but we settle for that.
Illusion of Peace for an illusion of acceptance, a false
sense of security and and we settle for morsels crumbs.
Of pseudo love. So I don't think it's a very
healthy and effective strategy to give away our power.

(20:02):
So part of the part of the journey than to beginning to
reclaim our power is realizing that there's different types.
So I talked about worldly power,the way that the world relates
to power or EGO power the way that that ego part of us,
expresses power in the world which is that more that
hierarchical power over approach.

(20:26):
Which and I can contrast that tosoulful power, which is to me,
call it spiritual power, in our power, authentic power, whatever
you want to call it. It's so there are key
differences. So, for example, a few of them
worldly power is all about externals.
So we tend to associate power with people who have money,
Fame, who are high up in some kind of hierarchy, whether it's

(20:49):
the corporate ladder or some other kind of structure to think
about all those kinds of Power. Is that because they're outside
of us? They're fickle here.
Today, gone tomorrow. So contract contrasting, that
with the inner power, which likeI was saying before, is like,
it's there nobody. Nobody can give it to us.

(21:11):
And we are the only ones who give it away.
Nobody can really take it away from us.
The worldly power is all about agenda, so it's always trying to
get something for itself and it's always going to prove how
big and powerful it is. So it's all about facades and
being perceived as whereas Soulful power.

(21:36):
It's humble, like, it doesn't need to prove anything to
anybody. It knows that the how much power
it has. And it doesn't need to doesn't
need validation by anybody, it'sinternally referenced internally
validated. So, I think about Gandhi or
Gandalf, if you, if you're untilthe Lord of the Rings in their

(21:57):
simple monastic, robes, their sandaled feet from looking at
him. You'd never know how much power
they hold but when it's Needed, get out of the way if we think
about it, Gandhi, brought the British Empire to its knees.
When it was at its highest pointin terms of global inflows and
Global reach without ever shooting a gun or Landing a

(22:20):
single punch that's power. And we all have access to that
Beyond taking an Empire down. What what are more practical
realistic you know? Down-to-earth your individual
What are some examples of being in that Soulful power place?
Oh my God. You it's what?

(22:42):
I was just saying before like not needing getting to that
place where you no longer need anyone's approval or validation,
that that's powerful. That's having your being in your
personal agency. Self-sufficiency, not that you,
we don't have other relationships that are deeply
meaningful, but we're not needing anybody's approval of

(23:02):
validation, which is incredibly empowering.
You to be able to navigate powerstruggles.
I said, rather than the way thatwe most of us have done it,
which is all of this stuff gets subconscious.
We're projecting on each other, all of our self, doubts and not
feeling good enough. The I'm not worthy but we don't
want to face that stuff. So we overcompensate for those

(23:24):
things because they're too uncomfortable to look at.
And so then we get caught up in EGO egoic power struggles.
Like, you know, I say this you say that I said, You said are
booming, Just One of Us explodesand then we cause harm to our
relationships. So by understanding, by being
willing, to go inside and understand why we do the things

(23:46):
we do, what are our triggers? What are our patterns?
Why do certain people trigger mewhere certain type of
relationships? Trigger, me and Trigger my mud,
my self-doubt, or my insecurities by being willing to
do that, we can do something about it because we can't do
anything about what. We can't see.
And and one As we begin to do that healing work.
And that work of realizing he's like, wait a minute.

(24:08):
All those feelings of not feeling, good of an adequacy
that there's something wrong with me.
They're just misunderstandings of a young mind that didn't know
any better incredibly empoweringincredibly liberating.
And then, you know, we have relationships that work better
because we can stand in our power, not threatened by anybody

(24:31):
else's power. So we don't have to get it stuck
in those in those power. Rules with very healthy
boundaries, very clear boundaries.
We know what works for us, what doesn't work for us.
If we need to we take a stand for ourselves but we don't have
to walk around with those those those layers and layers of
armor. That may have served at some

(24:53):
point in our lives. But now they're just keeping
those in that prison and we walkaround especially as guys like
in his huge arms thinking that that that's powerful, that's not
powerful. That's prison.
All right, we walk around in Defcon 1, just waiting for the
next shoe to drop waiting for the next attack sometimes,
sneaking in the first punch, just in case that what a way to

(25:14):
live, right? If we think about it, this
relationship to life. It's much more powerful because
I'm coming from a place that I know that.
Hey, life, Come at me. Whatever you throw at me.
I got this right. So they got, this is resilience
and bravery and the courage to go within.

(25:35):
So, yes. Is there any ideal first step to
help someone make that, that start to make that switch from
the egoic power to more in touchwith their soul?
Yeah, I mean we're doing it right now.
First part is understanding thatyou know what we've been doing
in our misunderstandings so it and it's to go back to what
we're talking about earlier, go within.
That's the first step. Being self-aware because again,

(25:58):
we can't do anything if we're not aware of what we're doing.
So figuring out why we do the things.
We do, see ya with without awareness, nothing can change.
So that, whenever whenever effect with clients and they
realize, oh, I did that in like,oh, celebrate that you noticed,
something in the past, you were just unconsciously doing those
things. That now you don't like.
So that's, that's a win. It's a total win is definite

(26:21):
progress and in your own experience.
Was this that whether the journaling meditation like, what
helped you go within when you first realize something,
something's off and I want to dosomething about it.
Well, I've always been kind of introspective more of an

(26:43):
introvert, which, you know, there's there's a book called
The introvert advantage. And from current perspective, I
see that now because I was asking, you know, difficult
challenging About myself at an early age.
So I kind of had a head start and that area in terms of

(27:04):
practices, the one that really changed, my life was breath,
work. And we don't have time to really
get into breathwork here. It's a, it's a, it's a large
umbrella term, there's deep breathing practices and
breathing breathing techniques that have a lot of benefits.
The type of breath work that I'mdoing is you breathe in a
certain way, just circular connected way for about an hour,

(27:24):
an hour and a half and I'm amazing shit.
Happens in my dad was a psychiatrist.
My degrees in Psychology. I was gonna I was on a track to
get a PhD in Psychology. And when I discovered breath
work, after my first session, I jump tracks, I never went for
the PHD, because it works so fast and heals so profoundly in

(27:47):
so many ways. 30 years later, I've yet to come across anything
that, that heals past trauma as effectively, and as quickly.
And in, Many levels. Yeah, I think nine times I've
done holotropic breathwork. Hmm.
Which very similar if not the exact thing your time about do
is 90 minutes to two hour long. And yeah, the first time I did

(28:08):
it, I was just completely blown away and it was the, it was the
first time. So I've attempted suicide
multiple times and his breath work session.
I finally mourned it. Hmm.
Like I was in tears, I like mourned and recognized that I
had survived attempted murder and then I was the attempting to
murder myself. And the next day I sent a

(28:31):
bouquet of flowers, a bouquet ofroses to my mother and to my
father and to myself as just nothing something some sort of
action in but is like that's really started and I couldn't
more knit and I could grieve it.And in the breadth of experience
I was I was tasting the highs oflife and just having an amazing
time. And then they would crash

(28:52):
because I tried to throw this away.
Like, it was just up and it was the most, by Pollux means ever
had. But it was also incredibly Ling.
And yeah, funded. This are each of our own inner
healer in her wisdom, comes out,and breath work somehow, and,
and Susan the heels. So, yeah, it's amazing how it
works. And thank you, by the way, for
so much for sharing that. It's so moving that Visual and I

(29:17):
was so, sorry, that day, I totally relate, I never tried,
but I certainly had the fantasy throughout my entire
adolescence. So I my heart goes out to you
and And celebrate with you that you breathed your way out of
that. And it is only one big thing
about awareness. Once I was willing to be wrong

(29:39):
about everything. I thought was right.
That's what open a door for me. Yeah, so it was yeah, and so
many men, like it's more important to be right than be
happy. And we, that's totally reversed
which, by the way, goes back to the ego, that's one of the
functions of the egos. One of the shenanigans of the
egos, did it thinks that it's right, always.
And in like you're pointing to is like even if we are right who

(30:01):
cares like said we so much of our identity is tied into beer
being right is like what is that?
What is that? To me, that's part of that
symptom of overcompensating Because deep deep deep down
inside, we don't feel good enough.
So we attach on, hold on to moresuperficial expressions like
being, right? And that's going to give me

(30:22):
meaning. And then when somebody
challenges that that I take it as a challenge to the to my very
Foundation of my deepest identity.
It's like no man you just it's okay to be wrong once in a
while. There's I mean anything about
you so again kind of mixed up inall of Of this, this notion of
mass and want to be, right? And when we first spoke, you

(30:43):
would shared an experience of self-sabotage in high school and
I had done very similar the samething.
So might you tell us a little bit about that.
Yeah. You know, one of the things
about being an introvert was that I was a good student and
especially coming to a differentcountry, a country, which I
didn't speak the language. I and haven't been raised in

(31:06):
Cuba where we had a TV but therewas nothing worth Watching I
grew up reading. So I had a Annie's with learning
had a propensity for learning soI had a 4.0 in high school
except for one be my last semester.
I know that was the next-to-lastup some of the semester and as a

(31:28):
senior and I didn't set out to do this consciously, but looking
back on it, I know I don't have the slightest doubt that I
sabotage my GPA because it was aself guided study.
All had to do is read a book anddo a book report which I've done
a ton of but I turned it in lateand that was enough for me to
get a b instead of an A and thatwas enough for me to get to

(31:50):
knock me out of the running, to be the valedictorian because
there is No, freaking way that Icould have gotten up then in
front of an auditorium filled with hundreds and hundreds of
people and speak. There's no way.
No way I could have done that and Flash Forward, you know.
Now I speak all over the world. Yeah.
Speaking of dozens and dozens ofuniversities and conferences and

(32:13):
on the tedx stage. So I know from personal
experience in my cells at all this stuff, all these fears that
we have allowed to hold those back, that all can be healed.
All can be transcended. Yeah, yeah, fact that the things
that I've been most fearful of and terrified of the longest are
the things I need to do and thenjust make life better.

(32:35):
And I used to I dropped out of college to avoid a mandatory
public speaking class. I just stopped stopped going
went from, he's two F's and was incomplete and kicked out was
like oh thank God as all to avoid a class.
That was afraid of and in high school, Midway through senior
year, the class rankings came out Out and I was third in my
class was like, what the fuck, how can this be?

(32:58):
Like I was I was in the advancedclasses but I was not trying
their other ones trying to get valid to him, trying to do this
and doing things for the collegeapplications and I was depressed
and miserable and I didn't realize till later how afraid I
was. So I was afraid to go to college
and be discovered as a fraud. I thought I was ranked third in
my class because I was just the chief idiot in a sea of morons

(33:19):
and I do just, that was it. I was just like the third-ranked
of of this town of idiots. That's How I see it again.
Blame everybody else because I couldn't accept what, you know
what I thought of myself, well, right.
But that's, yeah, I consciously tried to flunk out of high
school, so, I would not graduate, that's amazing,
amazing. The things we do, and most of it

(33:41):
not even consciously at to me, that the saddest part, I didn't
do this, I didn't set out to do this, and you didn't set out to
do this. We were just being driven by
Under the surface. We weren't even aware of the
deep-seated. Deep-rooted feelings of lack of
self-love and like that impostersyndrome that if they really

(34:01):
knew me they would see how how stupid I am or how filling the
blank I am and all of it, all ofit.
That's the try to tragic part. All of it is just a
misunderstanding and it's all fixable malleable changeable.
Yes. Yeah.
Because even the, the man who insists are not feeling it
denying. Emotions I find that they are

(34:22):
living in the most fear. Because it's fear in one
thinking that they have a heart that they feel that they're saw
that they might even cry. It's fear of anyone, knowing
their truth. That keeps them living a lie.
Yeah, it's hard. I think that I think it's.
Yeah. I think it's another aspect of
that is you know that we think that a to show feelings is
feminine because little boys don't cry.

(34:43):
Well way is that because only two little girls cries like wait
a minute. Let's let's look at that because
there's so many does this some faulty premises in that one?
Is that the emotions are we? Weakness.
It's like, wait a minute. Emotions are not weakness,
they're not strength either. They're not, they're not good.
They're not bad. They're Just Energy.
Depending on how we express themto have a good or not.

(35:03):
So good effect but the, the emotion itself is just an
energy. And then that the that the
assumption that the feminine is weaknesses, like wait a minute.
You want to tug our courage resilience ability to withstand
pain. Let's talk about the power of
creation that resides in a female body and I think of the

(35:26):
story of, you know, from Betty White him who left his in the be
about a year ago and in our unique way I think she's so the
story goes something like this. She was being interviewed in one
of those. One of those TV shows with
multiple celebrities so it was adiscussion going on and somebody
said something about having balls and she goes, wait, just a

(35:47):
minute. Would we get this Association
that with balls and having courage or strength?
You know you thought those little things and the guy
collapses bends over in severe pain you want to talk courage,
you want to talk strength. Let's talk about China's those
things. Take a pounding.

(36:08):
Yeah, it's going to be all that,but it's so true and just shows
like how far back are distorted thinking goes and what we've
been taught. And again, that's going back to
the generations. I'm seeing younger than ours,
they're waking up. They're recognizing these
falsehoods much quicker. Yes.
So again, I really backed up thebest of times.

(36:29):
The worst of times, we really are at the love, the potential
for this dawn of a new time for,for all humans.
And Men, especially to be able to lead the way from A Soulful.
Not in the Golic one, not a power over things but it is a
powerful ability to to open up. That's right behind it with I
guess I'm in my power. Why would I possibly be
threatened by you being in your power?

(36:50):
I can celebrate that. I can share that.
I can honor that sec. I know who I am.
I can handle whatever you throw my way.
So Awakening the solar power. You say it's book one in a
calling all heroes series, correct.
Can you give any teasers about what's to come?
What What you have in plan as towhich I just committed.
I just facilitated many years and years, virtual Retreat.

(37:13):
And I committed to finish book tour this year about 50% done.
And, because writing is what? I resist the most, what I
procrastinate on the most buttery, but I made the
commitment and I'm recommitting here publicly.
So, that one is on relationships, like, how to do
relationships consciously. And I think, because most of us,

(37:34):
that's the area where we give away our power.
And, and the book is about Relationships that is going to
have a particular focus on romantic intimate relationships.
And so how did what does it meanto have them consciously?
And so if you are in relationship and you've got the
basic human needs for love and sex and companionship, and

(37:54):
family and all that good stuff. Then what how do we use that
container of the relationship tofast-track our own process of
healing and transformation? Which is what we're here for
ultimately I hope it everybody listening to listening to this
or watching this now knows that there.
Isn't anybody out there who's going to make us happy?

(38:16):
Not going to happen and it's nottheir job to if that's how we're
approaching relationship, you'regoing to make me happy.
Forget it, hang it up. It's not going to happen and how
unfair to put that responsibility on somebody else,
not even fair. So only we can make ourselves
happy obviously. And and so then how do if you're

(38:36):
not a relationship and would like to be how do we identify
and remove release the subconscious patterns that have
a sabotaging, our relationship, Ships sometimes.
Before they get go by attractingpeople by Falling for people who
are not a match, who are not available there already with
somebody else or they live on the other side of the world or

(38:58):
they're just not there. So what's going on with that?
You know why? If we say we want relationship,
why do we end up doing this? Hmm, you know, like career but
not too close, right? And so we look at what's going
on under the surface so that we can clear.
Are those subconscious patterns and, and stop blocking love in

(39:21):
our lives. I love the work.
You're doing powerful conversation.
It's a powerful book. I highly recommend it.
I highly recommend people experience breath work because
when I first experienced that I thought, you know, if we brought
this to high schools drug use would stop because the power to
have these amazing experiences and visualizations and you know,
just just have the trippy as experience I ever had came from

(39:43):
my own breath and that just continues to amaze me.
Yes. But Christian, what's the best
way for people to learn more about about you and and the book
and everything you've got going on?
Well, if they want to find out more about breathwork, my tedx
talk is on the power of the breath.
So just Google the power of the breath.
Oh look it up on YouTube. In terms of the book is

(40:04):
available wherever you want to wherever books are sold.
So if you want your not support,your local bookstore, order it
there. If you want to, if not, you just
get it on Amazon or any of thoseonline websites, that sell
books. In terms of reaching me,
probably my website is the best way to do that.
And once they go there, they canaccess my Social.
Via the website is Soulful, power.com sou, LF you elle.com,

(40:30):
I mean power.com and then for for your audience, anybody who
goes and gets on my email list and we know how easy it is to
click unsubscribe. If it doesn't work for you down
the road, but anybody who gets on our email list, will send
them, a sample sample, chapter of the book, and it happens to
be the one that that talks aboutwhat it means to live heroically

(40:50):
in the 21st century. So, Back to your very first
question will send them some power practices, so designed to
integrate the teaching. So they don't stay at the level
of information because we don't need more information.
We've got information overload. What we need is transformation
and that only comes from really,applying and living from a set

(41:13):
of teachings and then we'll sendthem a meditation.
I did a short teaching and I gota meditation on how to find
trust how to move to a place of trust.
During these times in which we live of chaos and fear and
uncertainty. Well, thanks again so much
Christian for sharing what trip to with us getting the book out

(41:35):
there, sharing your life experiences because you're
exactly the kind of man, I love to talk to on real Midfield, a
man willing to share what he's gone through and then share how
he's being of service to the world and we all have the
potential to be of service to the world and it starts with
serving yourself without a doubt.
Yeah, so get out of here into your soul.

(41:56):
Awesome. Thanks again for joining us.
Thanks very much for listening. Wherever you're discovering real
men, feel please do all the things.
The platform allows you to do. Like, follow subscribe, share,
comment, whatever it is, you cando there.
We appreciate the support. You can always reach out to me
at real men. Feel at gmail.com, always glad
to hear from you. And until next time, be good to
yourself, love yourself and be willing to be the hero in your

(42:19):
life.

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