October 2, 2025 • 36 mins
How do wealth, parenting, and financial literacy connect when raising the next generation? In this episode, Blake Johnson and I break down how families can build lasting legacies by teaching kids the value of money and responsibility.Discover why spoiling children destroys financial discipline, how the Rockefeller vs. Vanderbilt wealth strategies shaped generations, and why creating a family banking system could be the key to raising financially independent kids.This conversation goes beyond traditional money talks—it’s about money mindset, family values, and raising children with ACCOUNTABILITY instead of entitlement.🎙️ What you’ll learn in this episode:- Why we must stop spoiling kids and give them space to struggle- How to use a family banking system to teach accountability- The role of financial literacy in parenting- The difference between the Rockefeller approach (wealth preservation) vs. Vanderbilt (wealth loss)- How to eliminate entitlement with practical strategies- Why open conversations about money strengthen families*C H A P T E R S:*0:00 - Intro 0:45 - Guest: Blake Johnson1:53 - "Money is one of the most triggering conversations."3:12 - The Rockefeller vs. Vanderbilt Approach5:20 - Teaching Financial Responsibility to Kids8:56 - Why Kids Should Struggle12:45 - Open Conversations About Money15:09 - "High-Low-Learn" Conversations16:38 - "The crushing weight of debt was just on his mind."19:07 - Building Financial and Emotional Intelligence23:24 - What is Family Banking?27:16 - Teaching Kids about Investing30:34 - The Importance of Mindset32:54 - Rapid Fire Game: This or That35:08 - Connect with Blake 35:35 - Outro🔗 Connect with Blake JohnsonWebsite: https://yourfb.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/myfamilybank#realmoney #teachingkidsaboutmoney #familybanking Find and follow Lisa Chastain:Website: https://lisachastain.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/savvymoneywithlisa/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/savvymoneywithlisa
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Why shouldn't we be spoiling ourkids?
What is it doing to our kids? If we don't let our kids
struggle, have that mental fortitude of oh, I can figure
this out, then where else are they going to learn that you
have to give them opportunities and that includes opportunities
to struggle. Welcome to the Real Money
Podcast. I'm Lisa Chastain, your host,
and today's a great conversationabout how to not spoil your kids
(00:23):
in the world of wealth. This is a hot topic and today my
guest Blake Johnson and I dig deep into what it means to 1
have of a family bank, why that's important, what
generational mindset is, and howto make sure that you're
teaching your kids the fundamentals about money.
I get this question all the timeand I'm excited for you to join
me and Blake in this really fun conversation.
(00:44):
My guest, Blake Johnson knows this first hand.
He's not only a partner at Trusted Estate Planning
Attorneys here in Vegas and in Utah, he's helping families and
business owners protect what they're building, but he's also
a dad with two boys and one on the way who is doing some things
differently, from creating a family bank to raising kids who
run their own businesses. He talks openly about that to
(01:06):
early investing. He is disrupting an old
conversation about money and entitlement.
And we're excited for you to join us today.
So let's get started. Welcome to the show.
What I really want to share withthe audience today and for those
of you who are high income earners and you are on the path
(01:28):
to wealth or you're here becauseyou want wealth, you've got to
stick with us because this is a great conversation about
parenting. This is a great conversation
about not spoiling your kids. Why we do that, why we why we
shouldn't do that. So me on the mindset side and
then Blake from his perspective.And then also we're going to
talk about family values and thefamily banking system.
(01:50):
Are you ready for it, Blake? I'm ready.
Let's do it. We're going to talk about some
touchy subjects. And when it comes to money,
money is one of the most triggering conversations, which
is why I love it because I love to get in there and poke around
and, and I'm on the side of the industry, the money industry on
the mindset side of why do we dowhat we do?
And where do these beliefs come from and what, what is
(02:11):
disrupting in the industry rightnow?
And we're having a lot of conversations where we've got
this old paradigm and money. So the Dave Ramsey camp that is
older, more boomer mindset and those of us that are younger
saying, hey, you know what, I don't like this very much.
I don't want to beat up on people.
And also, let's get really curious about why we do the
things that we do versus just taking this advice because some
(02:34):
old guy lot, for lack of a better term, tells us that we
have to do it this way. And so I grew up.
I'm a blue collar girl, Blake. I grew up in Las Vegas, in the
northwest side of town. And I didn't grow up around
money. Money was very triggering in my
family. And the way that wealthy people
were perceived was also very triggering.
And the way that wealthy people were talked about was very
triggering for people. I've had to bust through those
(02:55):
conversations to be able to attract and generate my own
wealth because it wasn't always perceived as a good thing.
And so when I hear you say the word spoiled, I'd love to dig
into that because before we jumped on, there's this book out
there, if you haven't read it, it's about life insurance.
But we're not going to talk about life insurance.
I want to talk about the mindsetthat goes behind it between the
Rockefellers and the Vanderbilt's.
(03:16):
And this book called What Would the Rockefellers Do?
Is speaking into exactly what you're talking about Is that
these spoiled kids aren't becoming the best kind of kids
or people on the planet, and you're saying, hey, we've got to
stop spoiling our kids. Why?
Yeah, there's there's a lot to unpack there.
I know, let's. Do it so I have my own podcast
(03:37):
as well and one of my guests on there he talked about how our
traumas actually carry in our DNA.
And so we have, you know, from just my grandfather, you know,
lived through the Great Depression.
And so there's a lot of scarcityand other stuff that comes from
that. And so you're right, it's, we
have to do some work and think through that and, and make sure
(03:59):
that, you know, we're intentional with what we're
doing. And we're not just reacting to
whatever, you know, our, our history was or what we were
taught about money if it's the wrong thing.
But I think that's the, the first step.
And you know, with the Rockefellers, we have the
Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts, 2 very prominent
(04:21):
families. And at one time in history, each
of those individuals were the wealthiest people in the world.
And still by today's standards, if you made it modern, they
still would have been the two wealthiest people in the world.
Maybe Elon's close to to catching up to that.
But like massive amounts of wealth.
Well, then how did they handle it?
(04:41):
You have Vanderbilt who just like, let his kids have money,
let them throw all these expensive parties, kind of got
one son in the business and he took over when when Vanderbilt
died suddenly. But within 3 generations, 3 to 4
generations, all of his wealth was gone, completely gone.
And we're talking about the equivalent of hundreds of
(05:04):
billions of dollars today gone in three generations.
That's where that term shoe strings to shoe strings in three
generations come from. Pivot that to the Rockefellers.
He comes in right after Vanderbilt.
There's some history there with,you know, them competing against
each other. But you know, what he did is
he's like, I don't want this to be gone.
I want this to be a lasting legacy.
(05:25):
And so he thought about that. He one got his kids involved in
his business very early on and he did a lot of estate planning
and structuring of his entities and trusts and everything else.
So that way it wasn't ever all just going to one generation.
And then they were responsible to set up.
It was set up in a way that theycould profit from it if they did
(05:46):
certain things. But they also could borrow from
the assets and then go build their own wealth.
And there was training involved,lots of education around here's
what we believe is a family, lots of family value talks.
And they were a very close knit family.
And so you still had that wealthpreserved and and still is
around to this day. I think what people who come
(06:09):
from nothing and become successful do is they, they're
super generous. They're so excited, like, hey, I
have all this. I want to give my kids
everything, everything that I didn't have.
The problem is if you do that, how did you make your wealth?
How were you successful? It was the struggle.
It was going through the, the, the times where things were, you
(06:31):
know, were meager. That's what created you and
helped you to be successful, to be creative, find, find avenues
and get around different things.If we don't let our kids have
those same opportunities, they're never going to develop
those skills. It's just like being in the
weight room. If you don't ever lift weights,
you're not going to get stronger.
(06:52):
You have to use them. You have to have those
experiences, that slight breakdown in your muscles for it
to grow. It's the same thing with
anything else in our life. If we don't let our kids
struggle and have that mental fortitude of, oh, I can figure
this out, then where else are they going to learn that they're
going to come into something andhave no idea what to do because
(07:14):
they haven't learned along the way.
They haven't built those muscles.
And what I was hearing you say when I picture it in my mind,
talking about the Vanderbilts isSchitt's Creek.
Yes. They were just lavish and they
went for it and they had unnecessary things and then they
lost it all. And then we have the
Rockefellers who and. The kids attitude about it too
is exactly the same. Like you know, I think of the
(07:37):
episode with the write off people.
You can just write it off. No knowledge of how things
actually work. Just write it off.
And yeah, that's true. It's basically free.
I remember that episode. And so we all get a laugh on it.
But also, can't we say that quote UN quote, rich people have
been have that stigma? I remember watching Paris
(07:58):
Hilton. Paris Hilton and Nikki, I think
her best friend or whatever. There was a whole show about
their privileged way of being and how they just had no clue
how money actually worked. And that's not everybody that
has money. To your point, you and your
family are doing it differently.You should check out Blake's
LinkedIn page. There's a lot of great content
(08:19):
there about how you're raising your kids and teaching your boys
and how they do. They still have their apple
caramel apple business. Yeah, caramel apples are coming
up soon. We're gearing up for it.
And so the Rockefellers, to yourpoint, didn't just pass on
knowledge which that was important to them, but one, they
made their kids work for it. They could borrow money, but
they had to pay it back. So nothing was handed to them as
(08:41):
it would be perceived that some rich families do to their kids
is they just hand it to them andthen they don't appreciate it.
But that culture is changing. That culture of money is
changing. And you're having that active
conversation about why we, we should not be spoiling our kids.
So let's talk about that. Why shouldn't we be spoiling our
kids? What is it doing to our kids?
There is a misconception that, you know, the rich just spoil
(09:03):
their kids. They're, you know, they hit the
lottery from being in that family.
The the reality is there is sometruth to that because they're
exposed to more information, they're exposed to more
opportunities. And why not?
Why should we not help our kids?I don't think there's anything
wrong with that, but it's in theway that we help them.
If it's just give them everything, that's the wrong
(09:26):
way. But like, for instance, in in my
situation, I couldn't have afforded a law firm.
I couldn't have gone out on my own.
I couldn't get a loan from a bank.
So yeah, it was a huge opportunity that someone else
wouldn't have had if they hadn'tbeen, you know, my dad's son.
So yes, it's a huge opportunity and there's nothing wrong with
giving them opportunities. But I still had to work for it.
(09:49):
I still had to pay them back. I still had to make sure the
business survived, but it was definitely a big step up than
than coming in from nothing. And I recognize that.
So I think that's where we need to, you know, shift our mindset
of you are still helping your kids immensely by giving them
opportunities, but we don't wantto spoil them.
(10:10):
My big thing is entitlement thatand we, I'm developing a program
hopefully be out by the time this podcast comes gets
published, but it's called the entitlement elimination program.
And it's where I go through and talk about the things I'm doing
with my kids about how do you teach your kids about money?
How do you teach your kids aboutbusiness?
(10:31):
Making sure they have chores to do.
Those chores do not get paid forbecause that's their rent for
living in my house. They need to do those things.
And there's all these stats thatback it up about how much more
successful your kids will be if you may do those things with
them. So it just still comes back to
that. You have to give them
opportunities. That includes opportunities to
(10:52):
struggle, and that's the hardestpart because we never want to
see our kids struggle. We never want to see them hurt,
but we have to let them be in those situations if we want them
to actually grow and learn. I agree.
I totally agree. And coming from a different
background than you where we knew, we just knew as kids that
if we wanted anything, no one was giving us anything.
My, my parents, thankfully for each one of us, we moved out, we
(11:15):
got a couple $1000, which came from my great aunt.
So thank you. You know, there was a little leg
up, but we pretty much knew, Hey, our family, there's not a
whole lot here other than a lot of love.
And I'm grateful for that, right.
So that's one of our, that's oneof our generational things that
my dad is passing down to us is love and connection.
OK, I digress. So then there there's I talk
about this in my book, it's called a financial set point.
(11:38):
We all have our own financial set point.
What I'm hearing you say is thatyour financial set point was
that you didn't struggle, like your family wasn't struggling.
I don't know your whole family history, but your dad was able
to say like, hey, I'm going to support you here, but it's not a
just a, I'm going to give it to you, Blake.
You have to do certain things inorder to earn it.
(11:58):
And one of those things is you're going to buy me out and
you're going to make a successful business happen.
But your financial set point is different than some other
people's financial set point, right?
What I see a lot that happens iswhen someone's financial set
point is from struggle or poverty and they come into
money, they have a propensity toreverse model that with their
(12:20):
kids and give them everything because they didn't have it.
But that's not necessarily helping your kids either because
they're not getting that that that patterning, that history of
you need to work for it. And then all of a sudden they
wake up at 2223 years old and they're like, what the fuck?
What? I didn't have to work for this.
And these are the people that I'm seeing in my office when it
(12:41):
comes to money mindset, trying to make sense of all of this.
And what I love about the work that you're doing is you're
bringing your kids up through being intentional with this is
how you invest. This is how you read a profit
and loss statement. So first of all, parents, you
need to know how to do that yourself.
But the best thing that you can do is now transfer this into
(13:02):
your kids worlds. How are you doing this real time
with your kids? There's a lot that we're doing
and it takes time. I think the biggest thing is
starting somewhere with there's so much around.
We don't talk about money. We money is a taboo topic.
Why? Why is it such a taboo topic?
We use it every single day. It's a big part of our life from
(13:25):
planning. It's what it helps determine
whether we're going to have a successful marriage or not.
And so why are we not talking about it?
And what I found is that the themost successful families that
have things continue. They talk about money and they
talk about it a lot. Not in the sense of we have so
much, we have this, but it's here's how you can utilize money
correctly. Here's how we're being
(13:46):
charitable with what we're doing.
Like you said, a profit and lossstatement works.
My favorite thing is when clients come in and they're
like, I just don't want my kids to know how how wealthy we are.
You live in a 20,000 square foothouse.
I'm pretty sure they know. You don't think they?
Know, are you kidding me? Like, yeah, they probably don't
know the extent, but they know they know that you're well off
(14:08):
and instead of you when you hideit, that's where the problems
create because they're guessing they're creating things in their
heads about where where things are.
Whereas if you give them clarity, like, Hey, here's you
don't have to tell them everything, but here's how I
make an investment decision. I pulled my kids in on
investment decisions. One of my my youngest son saved
me a ton of money because he's like, he asked some questions
(14:30):
that I was like, that's a good question.
Went and asked him like, yeah, that does that does sound too
good to be true. And we didn't invest and it went
under. So it's like, you know, those
are the conversations. It's involving them along the
way. And obviously as their maturity
level grows, that's when you give them more information.
I don't tell. I wouldn't tell a 5 year old
exactly how much money you make and how your investments are.
(14:51):
It'll be over their head. But then they're going to go to
their friends and be like friends, so much dollars or
whatever. But with everything on the
Internet, people know what your house is worth.
They'll go look it up on Zillow.The kids do that in class
because they want to know. So I think it's, you need to
start sharing and having those open conversations and, you
know, share what you know and share what you don't know.
(15:12):
Hey, I don't know the answer to this.
I'm unsure about this. I, I'm going to meet with my
financial advisor because he'll know and I can ask those
questions. Would you like to come along
and, and be part of that conversation and then make sure
you're continuously learning as well so that you can pass that
on? The easiest thing is do you have
a dinner? Do you guys actually sit down
(15:32):
for dinner with your family and take the time to have that 30
minutes together? And then what I do is we, we
have what's called our high low learned what's our high for the
day, best moment, What's the lowfor the day?
And what did we learn that day? And it can be anything.
It doesn't have to be what you learned in school.
It's usually not because they don't remember anything they
learned in school like, you know, ironically.
(15:54):
And so I'll use that to be like,particularly like, Hey, I, I
learned about this investment strategy or this thing because
I, you know, go to lunch with a lot of financial advisors.
And so those are the kinds of things I can bring up.
And then they ask questions about it.
So it's creating that open communication so they can feel
comfortable with you, because ifthey don't get that now, it's
(16:14):
going to be a lot harder to establish that when they're out
of the house and they have bigger questions about those
things. That's right.
When I'm starting on is like thecoaching aspect of it, you're
really, you're coaching them. You're not giving them a black
or white. Do this.
Don't do this. I mean, there's obviously some
things that that would be with, but yeah, it's more of giving
(16:35):
them the guidance. Here's my thoughts on it, but
here's what you can do. So for instance, my son wanted
an E bike and my wife and I refused to buy anything electric
for mode of transportation because they have pedal bikes
and and a push scooter. But he came with a plan for his
business because he does a lawn mowing business.
(16:56):
And so he's like, hey, if I get an E bike, I can pull my own
gear. You guys don't have to drive me
around to all the gigs. That's a win for me.
Yeah, I'll finance the bike for that.
And so we negotiated on that andI was gone the next night after
he did that was on a word trip. And I guess the crushing weight
of debt was just on his mind. The very first day he's like, I
(17:17):
got to send the bike back. I don't know that I'm going to
be able to make these payments. Just wow.
And my wife is sitting there like trying to comfort him, but
inside she's just like, yes, like, because now I know that
when he turns 18 and can get a credit card, he's not going to
go blow it on something crazy because he's going to remember
this. And so, you know, it's, it takes
(17:37):
time. It's really hard to see him
struggle or to not get involved or to not make all the
decisions. But when you have a moment like
that, the payoff is like, OK, it's working.
He's learning. He's learning.
Yeah. I get asked this all the time
about why we don't teach financials in school.
And I'm in my own conversation about why I feel like it would
(17:59):
be more important to do it at home.
And one of those is that our kids mirror what they see, not
what they're told. And they can go to school and
learn whatever. But if it's not being modeled at
home, they more than likely won't model it themselves, even
conceptually, right? It's not the school's job to
teach financial literacy. And you know, maybe some concept
(18:20):
concepts, but it's really our job as parents.
So there are there are people who have wealth and you're
working with people who are wealthy in the estate planning
realm and wealth management realm.
And you're having these conversations at a high level.
But let's talk about the middle class or upper middle class for
people who maybe weren't necessarily raised around
(18:40):
wealth, but have money now and they want to start having these
conversations. Where do they start?
Because maybe for a lot of people, people aren't talking
about money because they don't know how.
And so as a parent, if I wasn't around it for me, I've had my, I
stepped into the industry to figure this stuff out for
myself. But where do people, where do
they go? Who are you following?
Who should they listen to? First of all, Shameless plug,
(19:02):
listen to Blake and follow Blakeand learn from Blake.
There's some really cool stuff coming out.
But where else can they go to increase their own financial
intelligence and emotional intelligence to then be able to
model this stuff with their kids?
There's a lot of resources out there, but it's trying to sift
through a lot of it. I think the biggest thing is, is
exposing yourself to a lot of itso that you figure out what
(19:24):
works for you. Because not everything that I do
is necessarily going to be rightfor you and your family.
You know, yes, there's core principles about having
emergency savings and, you know,living within your means and
those kind of things. But outside of that, what
investments work for, what your personality is.
(19:46):
It may be real estate, it may beprivate equity, it may be just
be stocks and bonds. That's the stuff you have to
figure out. So I think you got to read, I
think you talk to multiple financial advisors, talk to if
you have more successful people in your, you know, circle of
friends, circle of influence, you know, you do that.
(20:07):
I don't know that there's necessarily A1 place to start,
but I think good exposure and then it's kind of a trial and
error thing. What resonates with you, you
know, like personally, one of the things I know most people
just won't agree with me is I don't like retirement accounts.
It's just something that for some reason that just has never
stuck with me. And so I don't do that.
(20:28):
But it doesn't mean it's not badfor somebody else or that it is
bad for someone else. It's you got to figure out your
what your financial path looks like.
I think one of my favorite thingfor kids, for teaching kids
about some of these concepts is there's a show called The Tuttle
Twins, and it started as a book series and now they have ATV
series. It's on Angel Guild.
(20:50):
But they talk a lot about like what is the Federal Reserve and
what is basic economics and those kind of things so they can
get a broader picture and then you can watch together, have a
conversation. So that's.
One resource that comes to mind.That's great.
I love that. I've never heard of them before,
so we'll definitely check them out and put them in the show
notes. Thanks for that.
And I agree with you. Just join them where you are,
(21:13):
watch the show together, have curious conversations together
and when money can be a place ofopen, honest conversation versus
control and fear, because a lot of parents parents you're you're
parenting out of fear, shift theshift the conversation into open
honest. I know for my son, I used to not
so much anymore because he's 17 and doesn't care what I'm doing.
(21:35):
But when he was younger, I'd be on my laptop, I'd be in my
spreadsheet, I'd be tracking my money, I'd be paying bills, I'd
be in my bank account. He's like, we have that much
money. I'm like, yeah, we do.
Because I was intentional about not wanting to embed the
scarcity conversation into him. Like, let's just open it up.
Let's be honest, let's talk about what it means.
And I think that's some of the best parenting that we can do.
(21:57):
I think you got to teach the thevalue of a dollar.
If they don't have to work for something, they're not going to
understand that. But also, if they don't have any
idea of what you make versus what you know, bills actually
cost, they go to the grocery store.
Especially now because it's justswipe a card.
You don't think about it. You figure out how to pay it
when you go to here at the end of the month or whatever.
(22:17):
Versus when I was growing up, myparents got me a checking
account with a checkbook and my mom would help me balance it at
the end of every month even though I was just spending on
dumb fun stuff. Yeah.
But like that exercise is like, oh, OK, like I've got to put it
in every time, make sure I have enough in there before I buy
something. I feel like that was a lot
easier to for me to learn than just swipe swipe.
(22:39):
Totally, totally. Yeah.
Both of our boys have bank accounts.
My 17 year old bought his own truck, he bought his own car and
now he's selling his truck and he's getting a new truck and it
you're right, it's not fun. My husband and I will be sitting
on the couch at night. My 17 year old would come in
after work and he's in it. He's in it emotionally, he's
resisting us and he wants to throw a 17 year old tantrum.
(23:01):
And we just hold firm. We're like, no, these are
principles that you must learn now, that we want you to learn
now. And we're sorry it's hard, but
this is the time to teach them. So parents, if you get nothing
else out of this conversation, teach your kids now.
Join the conversation now. Because of what I know with
neurolinguistic programming in printing years is before 7
modeling years is 7 to 14. Now is the time.
(23:24):
Can we switch? Here's Blake.
Let's do it. Can you explain to us what a
family bank really is and how itworks?
So my version of family bank is instead of gifting stuff to your
kids for what they need, it's you lend them, you know, the
money to make it happen. So really there's there's three
(23:46):
different types of ways that youcan buy something, you can save
up for it and pay cash for it. You can finance it or you can
get a gift to do it right. That's really it.
Or you get it from someone else.That's how you get things.
So it's one of those three things which any type of
(24:06):
scenario you can think of, or I guess maybe the it's gift slash
rent. Maybe you do that on, you know,
every interaction with money. That's what you what you do.
So sometimes the answer may be, hey, work for it.
I want you to get delayed gratification and pay for it
upfront. But a situation like this with
my son where he's trying to makemore money for his lawn mowing
(24:28):
business because he's growing that and also he's trying to
save up for buying his first car.
OK, Well, if I make him save up the $600.00 for his E bike,
that's going to take forever forhim to get there and he's not
going to be able to do as many jobs and, and all that stuff.
So it makes sense to have it leveraged on top of the fact
that I want him to learn that concept.
(24:48):
And so the family bank is nothing more than instead of
going to a bank, an actual financial institution to lend,
then you become the bank and youlend it to your kids or your
nieces and nephews or whoever else that you you want to have
an impact on. And so it can be as simple as
that, just like you do it with your kids, direct paperwork.
(25:11):
That's what it is. What we do is we take that
concept and we grow it a little bit more with our wealthier
clients. Now you have just from an estate
planning breakdown, if you have like super, super high wealth,
most of the families that are over $100 million in net worth,
they have what's called their own private family office and
they do this all the time. They have someone who manages
(25:32):
all their investments, they lendto their kids, They do all that
stuff. Most people are not going to get
to the point where they can afford it.
And So what we do is we take those concepts and we bring it
into something where more peoplecan can afford and do some of
those things. And so we use the trusts and the
different tools that they have and we bring it into more of a,
a middle class affordability andcreate these, these permanent
(25:54):
structures that allow for the same concept to be perpetuated.
Now, I don't want to be misunderstood.
Gifting is still OK. That doesn't mean you can't give
your kids gifts ever. It's just saying be intentional
about which things you are doingwith that and so you're not just
gifting everything. You know, as soon as your kid
turns 16, don't just give them acar, make them earn it.
(26:17):
Maybe it's OK, I'll buy it, but you're going to make me monthly
payments over time to help do that.
Great, that works too. We have a hybrid method where
we're helping our kids setting up businesses and stuff so they
can save up now and we'll match whatever they pay, they have
money saved up for it. So once again comes back to
what's what works for your family.
But the basic concept is I'm thebank now instead of an actual
(26:40):
bank. Love it.
Which is less. It's cheaper money, you know you
can borrow it. Quicker access to money, it
doesn't go in your credit report.
It, you know, helps. Yeah, you can set the interest
rates lower than probably what normal are.
So all those things then. And then like for instance, with
my dad, he loved being the bank because now he deferred his
(27:02):
capital gains over that five year period that I paid him
instead of recognizing it all inone year.
So it was still to his advantageas well.
Yeah, and you're helping. You're helping families figure
out the intricacies of those things.
What do you do when a kid can't pay you back?
What happens? Well, so that's, that's the
beauty of having it be in the family.
You can, you can be a little bitmore merciful.
(27:25):
You can, you can spread things out.
You can, you know, delay some ofthe payments, whatever, but I'd
still make them figure out a wayto do it.
It might just be okay. I won't charge you interest for
the next 6 months while you get your stuff figured out or while
during let's say it's basketballseason they're competitive and
there's no way they can have a job.
(27:46):
Okay, well we won't have required payments during that
three month window cuz we still want you to do that, but they
resume when you can start working again.
But you do need to hold firm. Now what we do on the trust side
when we get a little bit bigger loans and what not you, we have
a third party trustee who's kindof that facilitator.
So they're the bad guy. Not necessarily mom and dad, but
(28:08):
there does need to be accountability otherwise it
won't work. That's right.
I agree. Yeah.
If they just know in the back oftheir head, listen, our
unconscious mind is not stupid, it's strategic.
And so they just know in the back of their head that they're
never going to have to pay it back.
They're going to behave differently than if they know
somehow they're going to be heldaccountable.
I love that. What are some, what are some of
the ways that you're teaching your kids to invest?
(28:29):
So they have their own, they have their own apple, caramel
apple business. One of your sons it sounds like
has his own delivery business. What about investing?
Where can parents go to help their kids?
One of my favorites is Green Light because it has different
buckets and helps them differentand helps them with cash flow.
Where are you sending your kids to invest and learn how to
(28:50):
invest? So another one is tricrew.com.
They're similar to Green Light. So I just happen to know the
guys who started it. So I like them.
It's a very similar platform, OK.
But I think with investments, it's, you know, starting to have
them be part of the conversationwhen you are doing stuff.
(29:11):
And so like, hey, here's what I'm looking at for investing, or
here's my financial advisor, have them explain some of the
stuff. We just actually set up the
first investment account for my older son because he's just
looking at he's like, you know, yeah, when I get to be 14 or 15,
I can get a real consistent job.I can earn more money.
But he's like, I don't know thatI'm going to have enough for the
car that I want. So how do I grow my money
(29:32):
faster? And so he's looking at doing
some index funds, but it initially was just, hey, open it
up. You get the sign up bonus for
what you put in there. And it's in a higher interest
rate than than the checking account he had it in before.
And so, yeah, I think it's, it'shard.
Like there's not a, hey, here's how you do it.
I have some basics in that the program we're coming out with,
(29:55):
but it's really exposure about what you're doing and then
letting them make that decision.A great one.
I know like a lot of financial platforms will have paper
trading courses where so they can have an account, they're not
actually trading money, but theycan pretend like they're
investing money. So they get the hang of what
they're doing and what, what those costs would be for every
(30:16):
transaction that's traded and, and what the market does.
And so I'd say do that before they actually invest their
money. Yeah, that's a great idea.
They do that in some schools where they have those programs
and in college and and trading schools actually will have you
do some of that work before you actually put your money in the
market. So I love that as a fundamental,
Very cool. I love what you're doing, Blake.
(30:38):
I think that this conversation is so important and disruptive
in the world of money. Why not just open it up?
Why not just talk about it? Why not address our fears and
our emotions? I know I'm more on the emotional
side of money and helping peopleidentify those things.
But you're you're doing both like you're teaching your kids.
You've got some very strategic ways that you're doing that.
(30:58):
I agree with you that spoiling anyone doesn't work over time.
I know it's a triggering conversation when it comes to
money, but it's so, so important.
So thank you for being here today on REAL MONEY.
Yeah, No, thank you for having me.
I, I love this topic. I think it's, it's vitally
important. I think the reason people, you
know, especially the professionals, is it's easy to
talk about with the, you know, how much money we can make for
(31:21):
this person or in my world, how much estate taxes we can save,
how much money can we pass on the next generation without
having that taxed or taken away?Because that's a calculable
100%. This is if we do this, this,
these conversations don't guarantee anything.
Even if you do everything that I've talked about with my kids,
I still don't know if they're going to turn out good.
You know, they have their agency, they're going to be able
(31:42):
to make those decisions, you know, so it, it's really hard
from that perspective because you don't have a guaranteed
outcome. And it is a lot more work, but I
think it'd be, it's a lot more worth it to give them that leg
up and give them that chance to succeed because I'm not always
going to be there for. I agree.
And to your point, to the book of, you know, to the point of
(32:02):
the what would the Rockefellers do?
And what we're discovering with money is that mindset is
generational and let's, let's doour best.
Money may or may not be there. Most legacies are gone within 3
generations. But if we can couple it with
mindset, then hopefully what you're teaching them will pass
down to your grandkids and your great grandkids.
(32:22):
And how cool would that be? Yeah.
And that's one of the beauties of the family bank because we
can set it up so it is multi generational trust can go on for
hundreds and hundreds of years. Yeah, so cool.
All right, so I end the show with something more fun so our
listeners can get to know you more personally.
Again, check him out on LinkedIn.
We'll put this all in the show notes that you can get a really
good feel for the family and thefamily dynamic.
(32:44):
And Blake is expecting a baby boy here.
When is he due? April.
In April, so one more boy added to the family.
But we my favorite game to play with kids is this or that or on
road trips. So we're gonna play this or
that. Are you ready?
All right, I like it. All right, pizza night or
popcorn in a movie? Oh, pizza, I need something more
(33:07):
filling, okay. Beach house or family farm?
Beach House. Board games or video games?
Card games, not board games. Card games.
We play trash. That's our favorite card game.
As a family, we can pay it for hours and hours and hours.
Road trip or airplane adventure?Airplane I hate driving.
We have a rule that if it's oversix hours, we fly no matter
(33:28):
what. Right on camping or hotel
resort. I'm kind of a 5050 but if it's a
family thing is definitely a hotel.
My wife doesn't camp unless there's a shower and a working
toilet. Yeah, my husband's the same way.
Ice cream or cookies? Ice cream.
Chocolate. Chocolate ice cream.
I love it. Baseball or football?
Football, yeah. Theme park or National Park?
(33:52):
National, Well, normally I wouldsay National Park because
there's less crowds, but lately they've been so crowded it's
about the same. So I don't know do.
You have a favorite theme park? We loved Universal in Florida
because we're big Harry Potter fans and we have a deal with our
kids that if they've read all the books, then they get a
one-on-one trip with mom and dadto go to Harry Potter World.
(34:14):
So my, my younger one just finished not too long ago.
So we got to we got to find a time to go to the new epic world
they just opened up. Amazing.
I love that. All right, so we're going to
split the camps here. Dogs or cats?
Neither. I'm not a pet, no.
Do your boys want a dog or a cat?
They want dog, they want a dog, but they've.
(34:36):
My wife's sister lives within a mile of us, my sister lives
within 10 minutes of us, and they both have dogs so they get
plenty of that way. The only way they get a dog, my
wife has said is if I die then they'll get a dog to replace.
Well, that's good to know. Blake Yeah.
So if I'm off, that's probably why.
And they get a dog. They're.
(34:57):
Gonna get a dog. I love it.
Our last question. Big family reunion or quiet
weekend getaway? Depends which side of the
family, but usually I'd rather stay at home and just be us.
I love it, I love it, I love it.In addition to your LinkedIn
page, where would you like listeners to go to find more
about you and your work? Yeah, our website is your FB as
(35:18):
in your family bank.com. So that's probably the best one.
And then, yeah, we've got I am on Instagram.
I think it's Blake Johnson, Esquire.
Blake B Johnson, Esquire. Linkedin's probably the best.
That's where I'm the most active.
All right, and that's in the show notes.
And here's our call to action today.
You guys, if you don't want to raise spoiled kids, you cannot
leave it by chance. Get in tune with your mindset
(35:41):
and the reason that you're making the decisions in the 1st
place. Build your family bank.
Disrupt the cycle of entitlementfor the next generation.
Blake, thank you so much for being here.
This was a real fun conversation.
Thanks, Lisa. I know it's been we've been
trying to do this for a while, so it's good to finally have
that conversation. Yeah, let us know.
So let us know what you're learning about the family bank
system. Let us know what questions you
(36:01):
have, and we'll see you next time on REAL MONEY.
Thanks for joining us.
Why shouldn't we be spoiling ourkids?
What is it doing to our kids? If we don't let our kids
struggle, have that mental fortitude of oh, I can figure
this out, then where else are they going to learn that you
have to give them opportunities and that includes opportunities
to struggle. Welcome to the Real Money
Podcast. I'm Lisa Chastain, your host,
and today's a great conversationabout how to not spoil your kids
(00:23):
in the world of wealth. This is a hot topic and today my
guest Blake Johnson and I dig deep into what it means to 1
have of a family bank, why that's important, what
generational mindset is, and howto make sure that you're
teaching your kids the fundamentals about money.
I get this question all the timeand I'm excited for you to join
me and Blake in this really fun conversation.
(00:44):
My guest, Blake Johnson knows this first hand.
He's not only a partner at Trusted Estate Planning
Attorneys here in Vegas and in Utah, he's helping families and
business owners protect what they're building, but he's also
a dad with two boys and one on the way who is doing some things
differently, from creating a family bank to raising kids who
run their own businesses. He talks openly about that to
(01:06):
early investing. He is disrupting an old
conversation about money and entitlement.
And we're excited for you to join us today.
So let's get started. Welcome to the show.
What I really want to share withthe audience today and for those
of you who are high income earners and you are on the path
(01:28):
to wealth or you're here becauseyou want wealth, you've got to
stick with us because this is a great conversation about
parenting. This is a great conversation
about not spoiling your kids. Why we do that, why we why we
shouldn't do that. So me on the mindset side and
then Blake from his perspective.And then also we're going to
talk about family values and thefamily banking system.
(01:50):
Are you ready for it, Blake? I'm ready.
Let's do it. We're going to talk about some
touchy subjects. And when it comes to money,
money is one of the most triggering conversations, which
is why I love it because I love to get in there and poke around
and, and I'm on the side of the industry, the money industry on
the mindset side of why do we dowhat we do?
And where do these beliefs come from and what, what is
(02:11):
disrupting in the industry rightnow?
And we're having a lot of conversations where we've got
this old paradigm and money. So the Dave Ramsey camp that is
older, more boomer mindset and those of us that are younger
saying, hey, you know what, I don't like this very much.
I don't want to beat up on people.
And also, let's get really curious about why we do the
things that we do versus just taking this advice because some
(02:34):
old guy lot, for lack of a better term, tells us that we
have to do it this way. And so I grew up.
I'm a blue collar girl, Blake. I grew up in Las Vegas, in the
northwest side of town. And I didn't grow up around
money. Money was very triggering in my
family. And the way that wealthy people
were perceived was also very triggering.
And the way that wealthy people were talked about was very
triggering for people. I've had to bust through those
(02:55):
conversations to be able to attract and generate my own
wealth because it wasn't always perceived as a good thing.
And so when I hear you say the word spoiled, I'd love to dig
into that because before we jumped on, there's this book out
there, if you haven't read it, it's about life insurance.
But we're not going to talk about life insurance.
I want to talk about the mindsetthat goes behind it between the
Rockefellers and the Vanderbilt's.
(03:16):
And this book called What Would the Rockefellers Do?
Is speaking into exactly what you're talking about Is that
these spoiled kids aren't becoming the best kind of kids
or people on the planet, and you're saying, hey, we've got to
stop spoiling our kids. Why?
Yeah, there's there's a lot to unpack there.
I know, let's. Do it so I have my own podcast
(03:37):
as well and one of my guests on there he talked about how our
traumas actually carry in our DNA.
And so we have, you know, from just my grandfather, you know,
lived through the Great Depression.
And so there's a lot of scarcityand other stuff that comes from
that. And so you're right, it's, we
have to do some work and think through that and, and make sure
(03:59):
that, you know, we're intentional with what we're
doing. And we're not just reacting to
whatever, you know, our, our history was or what we were
taught about money if it's the wrong thing.
But I think that's the, the first step.
And you know, with the Rockefellers, we have the
Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts, 2 very prominent
(04:21):
families. And at one time in history, each
of those individuals were the wealthiest people in the world.
And still by today's standards, if you made it modern, they
still would have been the two wealthiest people in the world.
Maybe Elon's close to to catching up to that.
But like massive amounts of wealth.
Well, then how did they handle it?
(04:41):
You have Vanderbilt who just like, let his kids have money,
let them throw all these expensive parties, kind of got
one son in the business and he took over when when Vanderbilt
died suddenly. But within 3 generations, 3 to 4
generations, all of his wealth was gone, completely gone.
And we're talking about the equivalent of hundreds of
(05:04):
billions of dollars today gone in three generations.
That's where that term shoe strings to shoe strings in three
generations come from. Pivot that to the Rockefellers.
He comes in right after Vanderbilt.
There's some history there with,you know, them competing against
each other. But you know, what he did is
he's like, I don't want this to be gone.
I want this to be a lasting legacy.
(05:25):
And so he thought about that. He one got his kids involved in
his business very early on and he did a lot of estate planning
and structuring of his entities and trusts and everything else.
So that way it wasn't ever all just going to one generation.
And then they were responsible to set up.
It was set up in a way that theycould profit from it if they did
(05:46):
certain things. But they also could borrow from
the assets and then go build their own wealth.
And there was training involved,lots of education around here's
what we believe is a family, lots of family value talks.
And they were a very close knit family.
And so you still had that wealthpreserved and and still is
around to this day. I think what people who come
(06:09):
from nothing and become successful do is they, they're
super generous. They're so excited, like, hey, I
have all this. I want to give my kids
everything, everything that I didn't have.
The problem is if you do that, how did you make your wealth?
How were you successful? It was the struggle.
It was going through the, the, the times where things were, you
(06:31):
know, were meager. That's what created you and
helped you to be successful, to be creative, find, find avenues
and get around different things.If we don't let our kids have
those same opportunities, they're never going to develop
those skills. It's just like being in the
weight room. If you don't ever lift weights,
you're not going to get stronger.
(06:52):
You have to use them. You have to have those
experiences, that slight breakdown in your muscles for it
to grow. It's the same thing with
anything else in our life. If we don't let our kids
struggle and have that mental fortitude of, oh, I can figure
this out, then where else are they going to learn that they're
going to come into something andhave no idea what to do because
(07:14):
they haven't learned along the way.
They haven't built those muscles.
And what I was hearing you say when I picture it in my mind,
talking about the Vanderbilts isSchitt's Creek.
Yes. They were just lavish and they
went for it and they had unnecessary things and then they
lost it all. And then we have the
Rockefellers who and. The kids attitude about it too
is exactly the same. Like you know, I think of the
(07:37):
episode with the write off people.
You can just write it off. No knowledge of how things
actually work. Just write it off.
And yeah, that's true. It's basically free.
I remember that episode. And so we all get a laugh on it.
But also, can't we say that quote UN quote, rich people have
been have that stigma? I remember watching Paris
(07:58):
Hilton. Paris Hilton and Nikki, I think
her best friend or whatever. There was a whole show about
their privileged way of being and how they just had no clue
how money actually worked. And that's not everybody that
has money. To your point, you and your
family are doing it differently.You should check out Blake's
LinkedIn page. There's a lot of great content
(08:19):
there about how you're raising your kids and teaching your boys
and how they do. They still have their apple
caramel apple business. Yeah, caramel apples are coming
up soon. We're gearing up for it.
And so the Rockefellers, to yourpoint, didn't just pass on
knowledge which that was important to them, but one, they
made their kids work for it. They could borrow money, but
they had to pay it back. So nothing was handed to them as
(08:41):
it would be perceived that some rich families do to their kids
is they just hand it to them andthen they don't appreciate it.
But that culture is changing. That culture of money is
changing. And you're having that active
conversation about why we, we should not be spoiling our kids.
So let's talk about that. Why shouldn't we be spoiling our
kids? What is it doing to our kids?
There is a misconception that, you know, the rich just spoil
(09:03):
their kids. They're, you know, they hit the
lottery from being in that family.
The the reality is there is sometruth to that because they're
exposed to more information, they're exposed to more
opportunities. And why not?
Why should we not help our kids?I don't think there's anything
wrong with that, but it's in theway that we help them.
If it's just give them everything, that's the wrong
(09:26):
way. But like, for instance, in in my
situation, I couldn't have afforded a law firm.
I couldn't have gone out on my own.
I couldn't get a loan from a bank.
So yeah, it was a huge opportunity that someone else
wouldn't have had if they hadn'tbeen, you know, my dad's son.
So yes, it's a huge opportunity and there's nothing wrong with
giving them opportunities. But I still had to work for it.
(09:49):
I still had to pay them back. I still had to make sure the
business survived, but it was definitely a big step up than
than coming in from nothing. And I recognize that.
So I think that's where we need to, you know, shift our mindset
of you are still helping your kids immensely by giving them
opportunities, but we don't wantto spoil them.
(10:10):
My big thing is entitlement thatand we, I'm developing a program
hopefully be out by the time this podcast comes gets
published, but it's called the entitlement elimination program.
And it's where I go through and talk about the things I'm doing
with my kids about how do you teach your kids about money?
How do you teach your kids aboutbusiness?
(10:31):
Making sure they have chores to do.
Those chores do not get paid forbecause that's their rent for
living in my house. They need to do those things.
And there's all these stats thatback it up about how much more
successful your kids will be if you may do those things with
them. So it just still comes back to
that. You have to give them
opportunities. That includes opportunities to
(10:52):
struggle, and that's the hardestpart because we never want to
see our kids struggle. We never want to see them hurt,
but we have to let them be in those situations if we want them
to actually grow and learn. I agree.
I totally agree. And coming from a different
background than you where we knew, we just knew as kids that
if we wanted anything, no one was giving us anything.
My, my parents, thankfully for each one of us, we moved out, we
(11:15):
got a couple $1000, which came from my great aunt.
So thank you. You know, there was a little leg
up, but we pretty much knew, Hey, our family, there's not a
whole lot here other than a lot of love.
And I'm grateful for that, right.
So that's one of our, that's oneof our generational things that
my dad is passing down to us is love and connection.
OK, I digress. So then there there's I talk
about this in my book, it's called a financial set point.
(11:38):
We all have our own financial set point.
What I'm hearing you say is thatyour financial set point was
that you didn't struggle, like your family wasn't struggling.
I don't know your whole family history, but your dad was able
to say like, hey, I'm going to support you here, but it's not a
just a, I'm going to give it to you, Blake.
You have to do certain things inorder to earn it.
(11:58):
And one of those things is you're going to buy me out and
you're going to make a successful business happen.
But your financial set point is different than some other
people's financial set point, right?
What I see a lot that happens iswhen someone's financial set
point is from struggle or poverty and they come into
money, they have a propensity toreverse model that with their
(12:20):
kids and give them everything because they didn't have it.
But that's not necessarily helping your kids either because
they're not getting that that that patterning, that history of
you need to work for it. And then all of a sudden they
wake up at 2223 years old and they're like, what the fuck?
What? I didn't have to work for this.
And these are the people that I'm seeing in my office when it
(12:41):
comes to money mindset, trying to make sense of all of this.
And what I love about the work that you're doing is you're
bringing your kids up through being intentional with this is
how you invest. This is how you read a profit
and loss statement. So first of all, parents, you
need to know how to do that yourself.
But the best thing that you can do is now transfer this into
(13:02):
your kids worlds. How are you doing this real time
with your kids? There's a lot that we're doing
and it takes time. I think the biggest thing is
starting somewhere with there's so much around.
We don't talk about money. We money is a taboo topic.
Why? Why is it such a taboo topic?
We use it every single day. It's a big part of our life from
(13:25):
planning. It's what it helps determine
whether we're going to have a successful marriage or not.
And so why are we not talking about it?
And what I found is that the themost successful families that
have things continue. They talk about money and they
talk about it a lot. Not in the sense of we have so
much, we have this, but it's here's how you can utilize money
correctly. Here's how we're being
(13:46):
charitable with what we're doing.
Like you said, a profit and lossstatement works.
My favorite thing is when clients come in and they're
like, I just don't want my kids to know how how wealthy we are.
You live in a 20,000 square foothouse.
I'm pretty sure they know. You don't think they?
Know, are you kidding me? Like, yeah, they probably don't
know the extent, but they know they know that you're well off
(14:08):
and instead of you when you hideit, that's where the problems
create because they're guessing they're creating things in their
heads about where where things are.
Whereas if you give them clarity, like, Hey, here's you
don't have to tell them everything, but here's how I
make an investment decision. I pulled my kids in on
investment decisions. One of my my youngest son saved
me a ton of money because he's like, he asked some questions
(14:30):
that I was like, that's a good question.
Went and asked him like, yeah, that does that does sound too
good to be true. And we didn't invest and it went
under. So it's like, you know, those
are the conversations. It's involving them along the
way. And obviously as their maturity
level grows, that's when you give them more information.
I don't tell. I wouldn't tell a 5 year old
exactly how much money you make and how your investments are.
(14:51):
It'll be over their head. But then they're going to go to
their friends and be like friends, so much dollars or
whatever. But with everything on the
Internet, people know what your house is worth.
They'll go look it up on Zillow.The kids do that in class
because they want to know. So I think it's, you need to
start sharing and having those open conversations and, you
know, share what you know and share what you don't know.
(15:12):
Hey, I don't know the answer to this.
I'm unsure about this. I, I'm going to meet with my
financial advisor because he'll know and I can ask those
questions. Would you like to come along
and, and be part of that conversation and then make sure
you're continuously learning as well so that you can pass that
on? The easiest thing is do you have
a dinner? Do you guys actually sit down
(15:32):
for dinner with your family and take the time to have that 30
minutes together? And then what I do is we, we
have what's called our high low learned what's our high for the
day, best moment, What's the lowfor the day?
And what did we learn that day? And it can be anything.
It doesn't have to be what you learned in school.
It's usually not because they don't remember anything they
learned in school like, you know, ironically.
(15:54):
And so I'll use that to be like,particularly like, Hey, I, I
learned about this investment strategy or this thing because
I, you know, go to lunch with a lot of financial advisors.
And so those are the kinds of things I can bring up.
And then they ask questions about it.
So it's creating that open communication so they can feel
comfortable with you, because ifthey don't get that now, it's
(16:14):
going to be a lot harder to establish that when they're out
of the house and they have bigger questions about those
things. That's right.
When I'm starting on is like thecoaching aspect of it, you're
really, you're coaching them. You're not giving them a black
or white. Do this.
Don't do this. I mean, there's obviously some
things that that would be with, but yeah, it's more of giving
(16:35):
them the guidance. Here's my thoughts on it, but
here's what you can do. So for instance, my son wanted
an E bike and my wife and I refused to buy anything electric
for mode of transportation because they have pedal bikes
and and a push scooter. But he came with a plan for his
business because he does a lawn mowing business.
(16:56):
And so he's like, hey, if I get an E bike, I can pull my own
gear. You guys don't have to drive me
around to all the gigs. That's a win for me.
Yeah, I'll finance the bike for that.
And so we negotiated on that andI was gone the next night after
he did that was on a word trip. And I guess the crushing weight
of debt was just on his mind. The very first day he's like, I
(17:17):
got to send the bike back. I don't know that I'm going to
be able to make these payments. Just wow.
And my wife is sitting there like trying to comfort him, but
inside she's just like, yes, like, because now I know that
when he turns 18 and can get a credit card, he's not going to
go blow it on something crazy because he's going to remember
this. And so, you know, it's, it takes
(17:37):
time. It's really hard to see him
struggle or to not get involved or to not make all the
decisions. But when you have a moment like
that, the payoff is like, OK, it's working.
He's learning. He's learning.
Yeah. I get asked this all the time
about why we don't teach financials in school.
And I'm in my own conversation about why I feel like it would
(17:59):
be more important to do it at home.
And one of those is that our kids mirror what they see, not
what they're told. And they can go to school and
learn whatever. But if it's not being modeled at
home, they more than likely won't model it themselves, even
conceptually, right? It's not the school's job to
teach financial literacy. And you know, maybe some concept
(18:20):
concepts, but it's really our job as parents.
So there are there are people who have wealth and you're
working with people who are wealthy in the estate planning
realm and wealth management realm.
And you're having these conversations at a high level.
But let's talk about the middle class or upper middle class for
people who maybe weren't necessarily raised around
(18:40):
wealth, but have money now and they want to start having these
conversations. Where do they start?
Because maybe for a lot of people, people aren't talking
about money because they don't know how.
And so as a parent, if I wasn't around it for me, I've had my, I
stepped into the industry to figure this stuff out for
myself. But where do people, where do
they go? Who are you following?
Who should they listen to? First of all, Shameless plug,
(19:02):
listen to Blake and follow Blakeand learn from Blake.
There's some really cool stuff coming out.
But where else can they go to increase their own financial
intelligence and emotional intelligence to then be able to
model this stuff with their kids?
There's a lot of resources out there, but it's trying to sift
through a lot of it. I think the biggest thing is, is
exposing yourself to a lot of itso that you figure out what
(19:24):
works for you. Because not everything that I do
is necessarily going to be rightfor you and your family.
You know, yes, there's core principles about having
emergency savings and, you know,living within your means and
those kind of things. But outside of that, what
investments work for, what your personality is.
(19:46):
It may be real estate, it may beprivate equity, it may be just
be stocks and bonds. That's the stuff you have to
figure out. So I think you got to read, I
think you talk to multiple financial advisors, talk to if
you have more successful people in your, you know, circle of
friends, circle of influence, you know, you do that.
(20:07):
I don't know that there's necessarily A1 place to start,
but I think good exposure and then it's kind of a trial and
error thing. What resonates with you, you
know, like personally, one of the things I know most people
just won't agree with me is I don't like retirement accounts.
It's just something that for some reason that just has never
stuck with me. And so I don't do that.
(20:28):
But it doesn't mean it's not badfor somebody else or that it is
bad for someone else. It's you got to figure out your
what your financial path looks like.
I think one of my favorite thingfor kids, for teaching kids
about some of these concepts is there's a show called The Tuttle
Twins, and it started as a book series and now they have ATV
series. It's on Angel Guild.
(20:50):
But they talk a lot about like what is the Federal Reserve and
what is basic economics and those kind of things so they can
get a broader picture and then you can watch together, have a
conversation. So that's.
One resource that comes to mind.That's great.
I love that. I've never heard of them before,
so we'll definitely check them out and put them in the show
notes. Thanks for that.
And I agree with you. Just join them where you are,
(21:13):
watch the show together, have curious conversations together
and when money can be a place ofopen, honest conversation versus
control and fear, because a lot of parents parents you're you're
parenting out of fear, shift theshift the conversation into open
honest. I know for my son, I used to not
so much anymore because he's 17 and doesn't care what I'm doing.
(21:35):
But when he was younger, I'd be on my laptop, I'd be in my
spreadsheet, I'd be tracking my money, I'd be paying bills, I'd
be in my bank account. He's like, we have that much
money. I'm like, yeah, we do.
Because I was intentional about not wanting to embed the
scarcity conversation into him. Like, let's just open it up.
Let's be honest, let's talk about what it means.
And I think that's some of the best parenting that we can do.
(21:57):
I think you got to teach the thevalue of a dollar.
If they don't have to work for something, they're not going to
understand that. But also, if they don't have any
idea of what you make versus what you know, bills actually
cost, they go to the grocery store.
Especially now because it's justswipe a card.
You don't think about it. You figure out how to pay it
when you go to here at the end of the month or whatever.
(22:17):
Versus when I was growing up, myparents got me a checking
account with a checkbook and my mom would help me balance it at
the end of every month even though I was just spending on
dumb fun stuff. Yeah.
But like that exercise is like, oh, OK, like I've got to put it
in every time, make sure I have enough in there before I buy
something. I feel like that was a lot
easier to for me to learn than just swipe swipe.
(22:39):
Totally, totally. Yeah.
Both of our boys have bank accounts.
My 17 year old bought his own truck, he bought his own car and
now he's selling his truck and he's getting a new truck and it
you're right, it's not fun. My husband and I will be sitting
on the couch at night. My 17 year old would come in
after work and he's in it. He's in it emotionally, he's
resisting us and he wants to throw a 17 year old tantrum.
(23:01):
And we just hold firm. We're like, no, these are
principles that you must learn now, that we want you to learn
now. And we're sorry it's hard, but
this is the time to teach them. So parents, if you get nothing
else out of this conversation, teach your kids now.
Join the conversation now. Because of what I know with
neurolinguistic programming in printing years is before 7
modeling years is 7 to 14. Now is the time.
(23:24):
Can we switch? Here's Blake.
Let's do it. Can you explain to us what a
family bank really is and how itworks?
So my version of family bank is instead of gifting stuff to your
kids for what they need, it's you lend them, you know, the
money to make it happen. So really there's there's three
(23:46):
different types of ways that youcan buy something, you can save
up for it and pay cash for it. You can finance it or you can
get a gift to do it right. That's really it.
Or you get it from someone else.That's how you get things.
So it's one of those three things which any type of
(24:06):
scenario you can think of, or I guess maybe the it's gift slash
rent. Maybe you do that on, you know,
every interaction with money. That's what you what you do.
So sometimes the answer may be, hey, work for it.
I want you to get delayed gratification and pay for it
upfront. But a situation like this with
my son where he's trying to makemore money for his lawn mowing
(24:28):
business because he's growing that and also he's trying to
save up for buying his first car.
OK, Well, if I make him save up the $600.00 for his E bike,
that's going to take forever forhim to get there and he's not
going to be able to do as many jobs and, and all that stuff.
So it makes sense to have it leveraged on top of the fact
that I want him to learn that concept.
(24:48):
And so the family bank is nothing more than instead of
going to a bank, an actual financial institution to lend,
then you become the bank and youlend it to your kids or your
nieces and nephews or whoever else that you you want to have
an impact on. And so it can be as simple as
that, just like you do it with your kids, direct paperwork.
(25:11):
That's what it is. What we do is we take that
concept and we grow it a little bit more with our wealthier
clients. Now you have just from an estate
planning breakdown, if you have like super, super high wealth,
most of the families that are over $100 million in net worth,
they have what's called their own private family office and
they do this all the time. They have someone who manages
(25:32):
all their investments, they lendto their kids, They do all that
stuff. Most people are not going to get
to the point where they can afford it.
And So what we do is we take those concepts and we bring it
into something where more peoplecan can afford and do some of
those things. And so we use the trusts and the
different tools that they have and we bring it into more of a,
a middle class affordability andcreate these, these permanent
(25:54):
structures that allow for the same concept to be perpetuated.
Now, I don't want to be misunderstood.
Gifting is still OK. That doesn't mean you can't give
your kids gifts ever. It's just saying be intentional
about which things you are doingwith that and so you're not just
gifting everything. You know, as soon as your kid
turns 16, don't just give them acar, make them earn it.
(26:17):
Maybe it's OK, I'll buy it, but you're going to make me monthly
payments over time to help do that.
Great, that works too. We have a hybrid method where
we're helping our kids setting up businesses and stuff so they
can save up now and we'll match whatever they pay, they have
money saved up for it. So once again comes back to
what's what works for your family.
But the basic concept is I'm thebank now instead of an actual
(26:40):
bank. Love it.
Which is less. It's cheaper money, you know you
can borrow it. Quicker access to money, it
doesn't go in your credit report.
It, you know, helps. Yeah, you can set the interest
rates lower than probably what normal are.
So all those things then. And then like for instance, with
my dad, he loved being the bank because now he deferred his
(27:02):
capital gains over that five year period that I paid him
instead of recognizing it all inone year.
So it was still to his advantageas well.
Yeah, and you're helping. You're helping families figure
out the intricacies of those things.
What do you do when a kid can't pay you back?
What happens? Well, so that's, that's the
beauty of having it be in the family.
You can, you can be a little bitmore merciful.
(27:25):
You can, you can spread things out.
You can, you know, delay some ofthe payments, whatever, but I'd
still make them figure out a wayto do it.
It might just be okay. I won't charge you interest for
the next 6 months while you get your stuff figured out or while
during let's say it's basketballseason they're competitive and
there's no way they can have a job.
(27:46):
Okay, well we won't have required payments during that
three month window cuz we still want you to do that, but they
resume when you can start working again.
But you do need to hold firm. Now what we do on the trust side
when we get a little bit bigger loans and what not you, we have
a third party trustee who's kindof that facilitator.
So they're the bad guy. Not necessarily mom and dad, but
(28:08):
there does need to be accountability otherwise it
won't work. That's right.
I agree. Yeah.
If they just know in the back oftheir head, listen, our
unconscious mind is not stupid, it's strategic.
And so they just know in the back of their head that they're
never going to have to pay it back.
They're going to behave differently than if they know
somehow they're going to be heldaccountable.
I love that. What are some, what are some of
the ways that you're teaching your kids to invest?
(28:29):
So they have their own, they have their own apple, caramel
apple business. One of your sons it sounds like
has his own delivery business. What about investing?
Where can parents go to help their kids?
One of my favorites is Green Light because it has different
buckets and helps them differentand helps them with cash flow.
Where are you sending your kids to invest and learn how to
(28:50):
invest? So another one is tricrew.com.
They're similar to Green Light. So I just happen to know the
guys who started it. So I like them.
It's a very similar platform, OK.
But I think with investments, it's, you know, starting to have
them be part of the conversationwhen you are doing stuff.
(29:11):
And so like, hey, here's what I'm looking at for investing, or
here's my financial advisor, have them explain some of the
stuff. We just actually set up the
first investment account for my older son because he's just
looking at he's like, you know, yeah, when I get to be 14 or 15,
I can get a real consistent job.I can earn more money.
But he's like, I don't know thatI'm going to have enough for the
car that I want. So how do I grow my money
(29:32):
faster? And so he's looking at doing
some index funds, but it initially was just, hey, open it
up. You get the sign up bonus for
what you put in there. And it's in a higher interest
rate than than the checking account he had it in before.
And so, yeah, I think it's, it'shard.
Like there's not a, hey, here's how you do it.
I have some basics in that the program we're coming out with,
(29:55):
but it's really exposure about what you're doing and then
letting them make that decision.A great one.
I know like a lot of financial platforms will have paper
trading courses where so they can have an account, they're not
actually trading money, but theycan pretend like they're
investing money. So they get the hang of what
they're doing and what, what those costs would be for every
(30:16):
transaction that's traded and, and what the market does.
And so I'd say do that before they actually invest their
money. Yeah, that's a great idea.
They do that in some schools where they have those programs
and in college and and trading schools actually will have you
do some of that work before you actually put your money in the
market. So I love that as a fundamental,
Very cool. I love what you're doing, Blake.
(30:38):
I think that this conversation is so important and disruptive
in the world of money. Why not just open it up?
Why not just talk about it? Why not address our fears and
our emotions? I know I'm more on the emotional
side of money and helping peopleidentify those things.
But you're you're doing both like you're teaching your kids.
You've got some very strategic ways that you're doing that.
(30:58):
I agree with you that spoiling anyone doesn't work over time.
I know it's a triggering conversation when it comes to
money, but it's so, so important.
So thank you for being here today on REAL MONEY.
Yeah, No, thank you for having me.
I, I love this topic. I think it's, it's vitally
important. I think the reason people, you
know, especially the professionals, is it's easy to
talk about with the, you know, how much money we can make for
(31:21):
this person or in my world, how much estate taxes we can save,
how much money can we pass on the next generation without
having that taxed or taken away?Because that's a calculable
100%. This is if we do this, this,
these conversations don't guarantee anything.
Even if you do everything that I've talked about with my kids,
I still don't know if they're going to turn out good.
You know, they have their agency, they're going to be able
(31:42):
to make those decisions, you know, so it, it's really hard
from that perspective because you don't have a guaranteed
outcome. And it is a lot more work, but I
think it'd be, it's a lot more worth it to give them that leg
up and give them that chance to succeed because I'm not always
going to be there for. I agree.
And to your point, to the book of, you know, to the point of
(32:02):
the what would the Rockefellers do?
And what we're discovering with money is that mindset is
generational and let's, let's doour best.
Money may or may not be there. Most legacies are gone within 3
generations. But if we can couple it with
mindset, then hopefully what you're teaching them will pass
down to your grandkids and your great grandkids.
(32:22):
And how cool would that be? Yeah.
And that's one of the beauties of the family bank because we
can set it up so it is multi generational trust can go on for
hundreds and hundreds of years. Yeah, so cool.
All right, so I end the show with something more fun so our
listeners can get to know you more personally.
Again, check him out on LinkedIn.
We'll put this all in the show notes that you can get a really
good feel for the family and thefamily dynamic.
(32:44):
And Blake is expecting a baby boy here.
When is he due? April.
In April, so one more boy added to the family.
But we my favorite game to play with kids is this or that or on
road trips. So we're gonna play this or
that. Are you ready?
All right, I like it. All right, pizza night or
popcorn in a movie? Oh, pizza, I need something more
(33:07):
filling, okay. Beach house or family farm?
Beach House. Board games or video games?
Card games, not board games. Card games.
We play trash. That's our favorite card game.
As a family, we can pay it for hours and hours and hours.
Road trip or airplane adventure?Airplane I hate driving.
We have a rule that if it's oversix hours, we fly no matter
(33:28):
what. Right on camping or hotel
resort. I'm kind of a 5050 but if it's a
family thing is definitely a hotel.
My wife doesn't camp unless there's a shower and a working
toilet. Yeah, my husband's the same way.
Ice cream or cookies? Ice cream.
Chocolate. Chocolate ice cream.
I love it. Baseball or football?
Football, yeah. Theme park or National Park?
(33:52):
National, Well, normally I wouldsay National Park because
there's less crowds, but lately they've been so crowded it's
about the same. So I don't know do.
You have a favorite theme park? We loved Universal in Florida
because we're big Harry Potter fans and we have a deal with our
kids that if they've read all the books, then they get a
one-on-one trip with mom and dadto go to Harry Potter World.
(34:14):
So my, my younger one just finished not too long ago.
So we got to we got to find a time to go to the new epic world
they just opened up. Amazing.
I love that. All right, so we're going to
split the camps here. Dogs or cats?
Neither. I'm not a pet, no.
Do your boys want a dog or a cat?
They want dog, they want a dog, but they've.
(34:36):
My wife's sister lives within a mile of us, my sister lives
within 10 minutes of us, and they both have dogs so they get
plenty of that way. The only way they get a dog, my
wife has said is if I die then they'll get a dog to replace.
Well, that's good to know. Blake Yeah.
So if I'm off, that's probably why.
And they get a dog. They're.
(34:57):
Gonna get a dog. I love it.
Our last question. Big family reunion or quiet
weekend getaway? Depends which side of the
family, but usually I'd rather stay at home and just be us.
I love it, I love it, I love it.In addition to your LinkedIn
page, where would you like listeners to go to find more
about you and your work? Yeah, our website is your FB as
(35:18):
in your family bank.com. So that's probably the best one.
And then, yeah, we've got I am on Instagram.
I think it's Blake Johnson, Esquire.
Blake B Johnson, Esquire. Linkedin's probably the best.
That's where I'm the most active.
All right, and that's in the show notes.
And here's our call to action today.
You guys, if you don't want to raise spoiled kids, you cannot
leave it by chance. Get in tune with your mindset
(35:41):
and the reason that you're making the decisions in the 1st
place. Build your family bank.
Disrupt the cycle of entitlementfor the next generation.
Blake, thank you so much for being here.
This was a real fun conversation.
Thanks, Lisa. I know it's been we've been
trying to do this for a while, so it's good to finally have
that conversation. Yeah, let us know.
So let us know what you're learning about the family bank
system. Let us know what questions you
(36:01):
have, and we'll see you next time on REAL MONEY.
Thanks for joining us.
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