November 6, 2025 • 41 mins
I sit down with Emily Reuschel to uncover how women in rural communities are rewriting their money stories, building confidence through self-trust, and stepping into authentic leadership rooted in community and purpose.
CONNECT with Emily ReuschelWebsite: https://www.emilyreuschel.com/
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
No one talking about the intersection between personal
growth and development and womenin small towns and rural
communities. I think a lot of women in small
towns buy into this idea of if you want to do something more
important like go to the city. And then I'm like, well, I don't
want that. But like I cannot go through the
rest of my life just going through the motions.
The number of times I've had theconversation with women, they're
(00:20):
like, I just, I'm afraid I'm going to outgrow my husband.
They're becoming more self aware, more aligned, more filled
with purpose and who they're meant to be.
And their partners are simply not interested.
If I want to continue doing lifewith this person, that comes
with a willingness to sit into discomfort.
As we are going through massive identity evolutions.
(00:41):
Like there has to be the willingness to be uncomfortable.
Hey, I'm Lisa and this is real money.
Forget the spreadsheets for a minute.
Money is emotional 1st and that's where real change begins.
Today we're talking about money,community, and the courage to
lead differently. My guest Emily is a Community
builder podcast host and she runs this amazing community
(01:02):
called The Coven. She is teaching women how to
lead with authenticity, how to rise together.
And today we're talking about how Emily rose from small town
roots. She lives in a town of 43 to
today building a huge platform that gives women permission to
be themselves and lead with love.
And it all has to do with money.Let's get started.
Emily, welcome to the show. The reason that I brought you
(01:28):
onto the show is that you're doing some really progressive,
amazing, disruptive work for women in the Midwest.
I was on your podcast, Gosh, over a year ago.
I know I was thinking about thatlike kind of a long time ago.
And I have a total girl crush onyou and I love what you're doing
and I love your podcast and I love you.
(01:50):
So please check out Emily on Instagram.
We'll give you everything's in the show notes.
And what I really want to talk about is my experience of women
in the Midwest and the work thatyou're doing to disrupt
conversations and art working for women in the Midwest.
I love this, This is going to begood.
Yeah, and there's the whole, andthis isn't just women in this
isn't just women in the Midwest,but like there's this whole trad
(02:11):
movement, trad wife movement, people wanting to go back to the
way things were for women politically.
There's a lot of conversations about what women's roles are.
Should they be in the military? Should they be stay at home
moms? And you're blowing this
conversation wide open. What do you think about all
this? I think you bring up so many
(02:31):
interesting points in so many ofthese conversations.
I feel like it's really easy forus to get hyper fixated on the
one topic at hand. And I think especially the past,
gosh, 18 months or so, not only with what's been going on within
me, but also in response to whatis happening in our country and
externally in the world, I have been starting to see like, oh,
(02:56):
this is all so deeply interconnected and so much more
than the conversation that's right in front of us.
Like I just kept seeing the samethrough line with my clients of,
you know, this like total disconnection from self, this
perceived lack of confidence that actually comes from the
fact that they don't know love and trust themselves, right?
(03:16):
And so it was like, what has contributed to all of these
brilliant, passionate, beautiful, smart, kind, caring
women, like having this like crisis of I've checked all the
boxes, I've done all the things and like, why am I so miserable?
But why am I so stuck trying to do what I want to do?
And so it's peeled back all of these very systemic layers in
(03:39):
religion, in politics, in the way that we were raised.
And then even going back generations and generations
further, like, Oh my God, man, we could really go on so many
different rabbit holes of, you know, patriarchal conditioning,
like the onset of colonization, like the onset of the church as
an institution, as a means of power, and the way that that has
been manipulated over time. And like what we see right in
(04:02):
front of us isn't even rooted inthe reality of what actually
happened, right? And so it's been this really
messy, complicated unraveling. And I think especially 2020 till
now, but especially especially the last year has kind of been
this explosive awakening. It really has for women,
(04:22):
especially being like all of these things that we were told
is the truth or is what we need to be doing or is the path
forward. Like none of this is working
anymore. And to your point, like I've
been seeing for years, these little like pockets of
awakening, like questioning the school system, questioning the
food system, questioning hustle culture, this, that and the
other. And now I feel like more and
(04:45):
more women, at least the ones that I'm connected to, are
starting to be like, OK, but this is like, everything.
And what does this mean? And where do we go from here?
What does this mean and where dowe go from here?
Emily, that's a great question. Where do we?
What does it mean? Well, that's how long do we
have. We have the time that we need
for the woman who is wanting to have a healthy relationship with
(05:05):
money. That's why she's in my world.
But also in the sense of disruption.
We're we're redefining real timewhat it means to be a woman on
the planet today. And women with money, which is
where you and I connected, was like, holy shit, this is a lot
to take in. And this is the work that we
have to do right now as women. We have to step up into the
(05:26):
leadership role of our lives. We have to be having more
conscious conversations, aware of our generational patterns.
Yes. And owning our choice, not just
by default, that this is who we have to be as women.
Yeah. And this is where this whole
other layer to your point comes in, you know, specifically
talking about the Midwest or primarily the the women I work
(05:47):
with are in small towns, rural communities, you know, and so
there's this extra perceived or real layer of expectations.
And that's ultimately what. What are the?
Expectations. This is ultimately what it comes
down to. Expectations around, like you
said, who a woman should be, howshe should show up, how she
should work, how she should be in the home, like how to be a
(06:08):
good mom, a Good Wife, a good employee.
And there isn't just one, right?Yeah, So many of the women in my
world are unconsciously and consciously living into this
laundry list of expectations that they have been handed over
the course of a lifetime. And then we have these, like,
little tiny computers, dopamine machines, which is such a
(06:29):
blessing, right? I've gotten to meet you and so
many incredible people in my life through it.
But we have this, like, ever present measuring stick that
tells us that we're not enough or that we should be doing it
differently or that we're doing it wrong.
And So what I have found is likethe most common in how we help
women regain their power. And I think that this is in, in
(06:50):
money in life and autonomy, in purpose.
Is that reconnection with self, Right.
If every woman genuinely knew, love and trusted herself, we'd
be having a totally different conversation.
But we've been living into all of these other layers of
conditioning and expectations that have severed that self
(07:12):
trust, totally disconnected it. So of course we are at the whim
of all of these external factorstelling us how to define our
lives and what we should be doing.
If we trusted ourselves, if we trust ourselves because I've had
this conversation in small ruralcommunities with women, that
would mean that we would also have to make changes in our
(07:34):
lives that we may or may not want to make.
I had a woman tell me specifically, Lisa, if I if I
make more money than my husband,I'm afraid he's going to leave
me. What are you hearing on the back
of the other side of that conversation?
If we trusted ourselves, if I trusted myself, holy, I would
(07:55):
Blank. Yeah.
Well, I think this goes back to the roles that we feel like we
need to play. And you know, on this
conversation of even looking at like a hetero marriage dynamic,
right? Like it is in so many ways.
And again, this is my perceived experience from my point of
view, from my life and from the women I work with.
I am not an expert in this by any means.
(08:16):
So if someone's listening and they're like, no, no, no, you're
wrong, please, by all means, send me your information.
I am a student of life. You are you're an expert because
you're an expert in your own life.
OK, there we go. But so many women of I would say
our generation or around us havebeen empowered to have it all to
lead to like step into doing allof these things.
(08:37):
We've cultivated inner self-awareness.
We have a growth mindset, right?And I don't feel like men have
been conditioned to do the same.So there was someone who was on
my podcast a while ago who was talking about how so many women
are living in like a very masculine space, almost like a
(08:58):
wounded masculine space. And how many men are actually
living in a very wounded feminine space.
Like they have not been empowered to have the autonomy
over their lives and they are equally as reactive.
So when a woman is stepping intoher power, potentially earning
more, trusting herself, like bending the rules and
expectations of the community, the church, the political
(09:18):
narrative, the generational things that have been passed
down like that feels very threatening because they haven't
necessarily been taught or empowered to step into the
fullness of their, you know, divine masculinity or really
even their power in themselves, right?
We have all these, like, false narratives of what it means to
be a man that isn't really rooted in their, you know,
(09:41):
mental and emotional health either.
It's totally disruptive. It's totally changing things,
yeah. So I think this is another
example of how we're seeing thislike bubble popping of this
like, again, deep severance fromself, this deep emotional
immaturity and not knowing what to do about it.
(10:01):
And so like the number of times I've had the conversation with
women, they're like, I just, I'mafraid I'm going to outgrow my
husband, right? Whether or not this is related
to money, when they're on a personal growth journey or
they're focusing on their healthor, you know, they're diving
into their spirituality or whatever, there's this like
they're moving onward and upward.
They're becoming more self aware, more aligned, more filled
with purpose and you know who they're meant to be.
(10:23):
And their partners are simply not interested, of course, like
they're going to grow apart. And most women that I talked to
are not asking their partners tonecessarily grow in the same
way. Like you don't have to agree
with me. You don't have to be on this,
but like you got to be on your own path.
And my husband and I have been very open about what this looked
like in our relationship. When I kind of started my
(10:44):
personal growth and health journey, it was kind of like a
whoa, what is happening here? My wife is becoming different
than, you know, who we were whenwe agreed in this like marriage
situation. And it took a few years of him
also sitting in the very real fear of, my gosh, what if she
outgrows me? What if she leaves me?
What if we're not compatible anymore?
(11:05):
Before he had to rise the occasion and be like, well,
that's a choice. Like, OK, how do I do this too?
And like, I can't do it for him,right?
I can't make him go to therapy. I can't make him read the book.
I can't make him listen to the podcast.
Like it had to be his self ownership to be like, if I want
to continue doing life with thisperson, like I need to step the
fuck up and figure out the ways that I need to grow and pursue
(11:27):
my own journey. That's right.
But that comes with a willingness to sit in the
discomfort. And this is true for men and
women, right? As we are pursuing growth of any
kind, as we're pursuing change, as we're taking in new ideas, as
we are going through massive identity evolutions, like there
has to be the willingness to be uncomfortable.
And I know that you speak on that too, with especially
(11:48):
conversations around money. There is no other transfer of
energy that has so much emotional weight behind it.
Or no, something you speak on too is like, you have to get
uncomfortable. You have to be willing to sit in
that messy middle, to be able tolook in the mirror, to be able
to face and befriend your shadows in order to actually get
(12:08):
from where you are to where you wanna be.
And the truth is, like, that is a very intentional choice
because it's not fun. It's very messy, and it doesn't
happen quickly. We live in a world that just
wants, like, the easy button. Like, I'm gonna listen to this
podcast and I'm immediately gonna know what to do and I'm
gonna apply it. My life is gonna be perfect
forever. Like periods of evolution,
especially when it's related to our identity and rearranging our
(12:33):
worldview and belief system. Whether it's around money, you
know, the way that we parent, our marriage, our self, mental
health, like whatever. Like, it comes with this like
shadow period this wintering, this like going inward and
taking it all apart and putting it back together before we see
the fruits of our labor. And that's where, you know, this
(12:56):
understanding of seasonality hasbeen also really important for
me. Do you want me to dive into that
or is there something another direction you want to go?
There's there's a lot that we can cover.
The point of all of this is thatEmily's amazing and she you're
having these conversations on the daily.
But I do want to slow it down because for a woman who is who's
(13:18):
listening and she's like, just tell me what to do because what
I'm doing isn't working anymore.What I'm what I'm seeing real
time on the political landscape.America is in crisis right now.
We have a mental health crisis. All the things that you were
just speaking into is that thereis an unfolding and undoing of
things. And you have to lean in.
(13:41):
Yeah. And realize that this isn't the
end. This is the beginning, not just
for women, but for men, because those conventional ways of being
are being challenged and ripped apart.
And we're seeing toxic masculinity raise its head right
now because it's like, what? We've had all of this
unawareness and have and. And now you're telling me that
(14:03):
I'm wrong. Yeah, And we're saying no, dude,
there's just another way. And we're tired of the way it's
been. And So what do you do?
You lean in. And then the second thing that
you do is you join a community of women where you have the
support and the sisterhood to take the time that you need to
(14:24):
figure things out. So don't just jump off the
diving board. Yes, Yeah.
But join the conversation. This is an invitation for you to
join the conversation and speak the fuck up.
Speak up, speak into your pain, speak into your discomfort,
speak into your like your weariness, speak into your
questions, your rage, your rage,your rage.
(14:46):
I was literally thinking this, Ihave eczema on my foot right
now. TMI, whatever.
I have eczema on my foot and being an NLP practitioner, I'm
like, what is this about? It's on my left foot.
And this morning it came to me like boom, right out of the
shower. It's rage.
It's on communicated rage and sadness and worry and knowing
that you and I, we have the microphone, we have the power,
(15:08):
we have the voice, we use our voice.
We want women to join us in thisconversation.
Yeah, it's so true. You know, for years we have been
taught that women are our competition.
You know, I don't know about you, but I feel like I was
raised in, like, the height of mean girl culture.
Totally. Literally, we have every teen
movie about it, right? Like, she is out to get you.
(15:31):
Like, she's here to ruin your life.
Like, let's fight over this, like crusty boy, Right?
And that is intentional because when women come together, magic
happens. And I'm not being dramatic when
I say that I have led, LED enough women's circles,
retreats, masterminds conversations where when we
enter into a space with the intention of safety and being
(15:53):
seen, heard and understood, likewalls come down so quickly.
One of the most powerful words in our language is me too.
And realizing like the things that we are deeply wrestling
with, We're not alone in that. Like we were meant to do life
together. If you think about like the
earliest of peoples, women have always been side by side,
raising our kids, having conversations like asking
(16:16):
questions and just being together.
And here we sit in these little concrete boxes, staring at
various sized screens, theoretically more accessible
than ever, but more deeply disconnected than for most of
humanity. And so, so much of the is the
willingness to lay down those wounds of sisterhood and be able
(16:41):
to step in to spaces that are having conversations like this
and not feel like we have to have it all figured out.
Like that's so much of what I'm trying to create right now is,
you know, most of the women in my world identify as being
achievers to some capacity. Like we want to have the answers
before we do anything with it because we don't we don't want
to be seen as like wrong or ill prepared or dumb or whatever.
(17:06):
Yes, imperfect. That's the exactly the word.
And it's like I'm on a forever journey of curiosity and taking
a new information and changing my mind and figuring things out.
If I wait until I have everything perfect to say
anything like it's never going to happen.
No, and often we not even often all the time when we engage in
(17:28):
these meaningful dialogues without the expectation of
imperfection is actually when weconnect the dots and are able to
speak from this like healed healthy place to be able to
drive our thoughts, our ideas, our missions.
For sometimes it feels like it'stoo big.
Sometimes it feels like, I don'tknow if you watch the morning
show on it's on Apple. It's a show that Jennifer
(17:49):
Aniston and Reese Witherspoon have done together.
Masterful. It's masterful, yes.
Put it on your list, everybody put it on your list.
And in a very beautiful way, they are painting the picture of
what it's like to be a corporatewoman today, corporate woman in
media today, and what the relationship is with the media
and the public. And it feels very big.
(18:11):
And it feels like you have to beJennifer Aniston, who's running
this billion dollar media company to get anything done.
But the the truth is, and to thepoint of your whole community is
it's done with your neighbors and your sisters.
And in rural America, we're speaking to you right now in
your heart is that it happens inyour communities, it happens in
your schools. It happens with intentional
(18:33):
raising of our children to be less competitive, which is the
masculine way, and lean in to support each other.
And we don't have to be marchingdown the street in Washington,
DC to get anything accomplished.And I would say when it comes to
money specifically, where it's accomplished is where we spend
our money every single day and by making new choices.
(18:57):
All of that to say is where where are you bridging this
conversation with money? Because I know our first
conversation was eye opening andI know you're still talking
about money in your communities.But for a woman who wants to
make change in her life financially, what are the ways
that she can do that today, right now, in the moment?
I think a really important part of this conversation that comes
(19:18):
up a lot for the women I work with is even just trying to
understand what are the stories that they have around money.
And this is true no matter what journey you're on, whether
money, mental health, parenting or beyond.
But what are the capital T truths that you believe because
someone else told you or you absorbed along the way?
(19:38):
Like what is guiding your thoughts, your ideas, your
decisions around this idea of money?
And a lot of times for the womenI work with, it's like, money is
bad. People who have money are bad.
But then there's also the juxtaposition that's like, make
as much money as possible, but also like, don't tell anyone
that you're make. Like there's just so much drama.
(19:59):
It is a lot of drama. Around money, you know, then
you're talking about the way that you earn and your role in
the house and like all of this. And so I think one of the most
powerful things that we can do is even just recognize the
conditioning, the stories, the expectations we have around
whatever it is that we're desiring to understand or change
and just bringing a sense of neutrality to it.
(20:19):
Like, of course, I feel this waybecause of this story I was told
in my childhood. Of course, I feel this way
because of this thing that I've absorbed.
And then I think it can be really helpful to be like, OK,
but is that something that I want to continue to be true for
me anymore, right. And often times the answer is
no. And so then I think it comes
from this place of curiosity around, OK, well, how can I
(20:41):
start healing or changing that? Because then unfortunately it's
not as simple as like, OK, Yep, I don't want to believe it
anymore. I guess it's gone.
It's not. That easy.
I wish it was that easy. I wish.
It was too, I know. But a lot of times when we have
the recognition around the story, then we feel shame.
I wish I wasn't this way, or I feel terribly about this, like I
(21:01):
hate this about myself. Like shame serves absolutely no
one. Literally no one.
Well, so just people who are trying to control you, well
that's it serves who are trying to be right.
If they're going to be right, they're going to shame you for
being wrong. That's so true.
It doesn't serve us to. Sit.
It does not serve us. But it does, it does serve,
especially in the finance industry, it serves a lot of
(21:22):
people. That's such a good point.
OK, so, but for the person listening, I think even just
bringing to the state of neutrality of like this is where
I'm at, of course, that this is where I'm at now.
What can I do from here? And then, you know,
unfortunately, there's not a super easy answer, but I think
you have a million resources of directions that you can then go
(21:43):
to start healing, to start making changes, right?
Maybe it's working with Lisa. Maybe it's a podcast, maybe it's
a book, maybe it's therapy. Like maybe it's some sort of
like energetic, the healing work, right?
Like I know for such a long timeI tried to intellectualize my
way through solving my problems,right?
Because I'm a smart girl and I can figure anything out.
And the first time my therapist was like, but how does that make
(22:05):
you feel? I was like, bloody lead.
What? Gross.
And so that's what led me down like deeper paths of like
somatic breath work or Reiki or just working with different
types of practitioners or peoplewho have ideas around rewiring
mindsets and limiting beliefs. And like clearing some of those
(22:27):
cords and attachments we have to, I mean, there's so many
different directions we can go, right?
And it's not one-size-fits-all, but at the very basic
understanding how you're experiencing it, what you're
feeling about it, what you're thinking about it, where that
came from, bringing it to a place of neutrality and then
deciding where to go from there and doing it.
And then do it. That's such a great point.
And then go do it. When was your awakening to this?
(22:51):
Being in a rural community, you are not the majority of
thinkers. And I'm imagining in your own
community, you are not the majority of thinkers.
So you came to this on your own somehow, some way.
So let's start there and then let's talk about for the women
who are not in the majority, whoare thinking more progressively,
more outside the box. My friend Morgan comes to mind,
(23:13):
who came to one of your conferences or a conference that
you spoke at where she feels really isolated.
So how did it happen for you? Yeah.
And this is, I feel like it was a layered journey for me.
So 2019, I had had my second child and as so many of us do,
had like checked all the boxes. I was just trying to be so good
for everyone. I didn't have the language for
(23:34):
it at the time, right? How old are you?
How young were you? Let's see, I would have been 29.
I was born in 90. So math is like to figure out.
So I was 29, I had had my first,I changed careers, I had had my
second. I went back to work way too
early. Was working like 60 hours a
week, pumping like 8 times a day, nursing around the clock,
had a baby, had a toddler, had ahusband, we renovated a house,
(23:55):
we bought land. Like we did all the things
right. And I had this moment of
realization of like, I have everything I've ever won in and
that we worked so hard for and I'm grateful and miserable.
Yeah. Like I low key hate this.
I'm so burnt out. I'm so frustrated.
I didn't even have the language for it at the time, but I was
just like, I hate this. And I don't know why.
There has to be a better way to live my life.
(24:16):
And so that started with a health journey rooted in love
instead of shame for the first time.
Like I can't. I don't care about ellipticaling
skinny or about like some weird diet.
Like I just want to feel. I just want to feel better,
right? Like it was the first time I
really listened to myself to be like how do different foods make
me feel? Turns out like gluten and dairy
(24:36):
were waging war on my body. But I had known because before I
became a mom, I spent eight years binge drinking, right?
So of course, I felt like garbage.
And that ultimately led me to the world of personal growth and
development, which helped me understand goals and habits and
really what it looked like to build my day-to-day from a place
intentionality instead of just default, right?
(24:58):
And I've always been like an ambitious person who is doing
good things. But it was like, OK, but how do
I want to feel? How do I want to experience
this? How do I want to show up?
So again, but it was like through this lens of trying,
trying to listen to like what I really needed, not just like,
here's the checklist that someone else has said is going
to make me feel better, but like, what do I actually need
and want in the season I. Love that.
(25:19):
For you, Yeah. And so then, to your point, I
started to realize there was no one talking about the
intersection between personal growth and development and women
in small towns and rural communities.
My husband and I live on a farm in West central Illinois in a
town of 43 people. Takes us 45 minutes to get to
the grocery store and we love ithere.
(25:39):
Like I love walking out of my back patio and seeing green and
the stars and my kids run muck, right.
It's beautiful. And also, I think a lot of women
in small towns buy into this idea of, like, OK, this is it.
If you want to do something moreimportant, like go to the city
or something, like, right, There's all this, like, bullshit
(26:00):
stuck in there. And I'm like, well, I don't want
that. But like, I cannot go through
the rest of my life just going through the motions.
So I did what any sane person does during the pandemic.
And I started an Instagram account just being like, I can't
be the only person who's thinking about this.
Yeah. And it turns out I wasn't.
There was thousands and thousands more women who live in
places like this all around in the world, who were feeling
(26:20):
similarly, who were feeling likealiens for wanting to be
intentional mother differently. Talk about goals, dig into
personal growth related things. So I jumped in and started a
coaching business which I thought was going to be rooted
in goals and habits and mindset.Work.
Yeah, no. Lol no no but quickly you know,
(26:41):
became a community builder and brought together women through
masterminds who were interested in bringing their goals and
dreams to life and felt like aliens in their zip code and
sprinting towards that led me toanother season of burnout that
got me into therapy for the first time which started.
That last That was 2020. To what?
So I officially left my job in August of 21 and it was by
(27:06):
probably October of 2022 that I was like I am not OK.
So still in that achiever. Drowning, yes.
You were still in that achiever mode, right?
Yes. So it was in therapy that I
finally understood and confronted my addiction to
approval and achievement and accolades as a means of earning
love and worthiness. And I have never been a person
(27:29):
that's motivated by money. Like, I was an elementary school
teacher making $26,000 a year. Like, I just wanted to be loved
for, like, how impactful I was, Right?
I just wanted to make a difference.
I wanted to help people. You still.
But that was my driving force. Yeah.
Yeah. And now I make a shit ton of
money. It's amazing, right?
(27:50):
But it was like I was constantlychasing like, if I can just do
enough for someone else, then I will be enough.
So that kind of changed the conversation around mental
health. And then, you know, as I was
growing my business, more and more women in small towns, rural
communities started being reallycurious around like, wow, you're
really building this life of like playing by a different set
of rules of financial and time freedom, Like how do I do that
(28:11):
too? And so that led me into working
with more aspiring or new entrepreneurs.
And not that entrepreneurship ismy passion, but at the time,
especially women who were wanting to claim autonomy on
their own life and throw the rules out the window and really
dive into like, what do I reallywant and how do I craft that for
(28:32):
myself through the vehicle of entrepreneurship was so
exciting. And that's where the
conversations around money and worth come up so much.
You know, a lot of women are very comfortable with like the
transaction of like, you hired me.
I do this exact kind of work andthen I get this exact kind of
salary, right? And not that there's not all
(28:53):
sorts of other things we could take apart in there, but helping
women gain the clarity and confidence to be or be
compensated for who they are andthe gifts that they bring to the
table, independent of what someone else that's right
expected from them. Like was a whole another layer
of money mindset work. And even one more layer past
(29:14):
that, Like the number of entrepreneurs I work with who
like, say, for example, it's like, OK, well, I have this
amount of beef, you give me thisamount of money that feels good.
Or I create this amount of social media posts, you give me
this amount of money that feels good.
And then when they want to step into like a thought leadership
related business and it's like, wait, people are going to pay me
for my time and my presence. And my energy and.
(29:36):
In my opinion and my ideas like that is very, very unsettling
and another really big thing to work through.
And again it comes back to that like self, inner trust and
worth. This is the future for women.
Listen up. Listen up.
What Emily speak. This is happening in a in a town
of 43 people. And this is in the heartland of
America. And this is where the majority
(29:58):
of Americans, we have a lot of people in the city.
But this is this is the heartbeat.
This is the pulse of women in America today.
And you need to hear this, that our future is not in corporate
America. Yeah.
We are paving a new way connected to value and vision
and purpose, and we're learning how to make money that is not
dependent upon a corporation. So this is the disruption
(30:21):
happening real time. Which is crazy because if you go
back far enough, like this is how it's always been.
Like women were the spiritual guys of their community, they
were the healers, they were the doulas, they were the creators
of of life and everything and beyond.
And so interestingly enough, I feel like we're just coming back
to we're coming home to ourselves, to each other and to
(30:44):
like the way we were always meant to be.
But that is really unsettling for this like capitalistic
patriarchal machine that we've been running in for the past
couple 100 years, you know, and it was like before the
agricultural and industrial revolution, like women's time
and value and presence was valued very differently than
(31:05):
when it became like a transaction of goods and money
in exchange. Here's what I know about women
when good women, good people in general, but especially women,
have money in their hands. They do really good things.
We do. We do.
It is circulated in communities.We pay each other generously,
(31:26):
like we support artisans. We focus on our healing and the
well-being of the people in our lives.
Like when money is in the hands of women, like it circulates and
it moves and it does so, so muchgood.
And so I always like to say, like, you are not a bad person
for desiring financial resourcesbecause you will do so many good
(31:49):
things with them. And when women are well
resourced, they are able to showup better for their families.
They're able to do really empowering, incredible things
for their communities. Like, it is actually the most
like selfless thing you can do to charge what you're worth and
step into your powder and own your shit and like, let go of
(32:10):
this conditioning that says likeyou're not good enough or you're
not worthy enough to be compensated.
Like bullshit. You're so smart and you're so
passionate and you're so good atwhat you do.
Like, just keep going on. Just keep doing it.
I pray everyday because I am. I am a woman of faith.
I was raised Southern Baptist, fell away from the church.
(32:31):
I found Jesus again. I'm so grateful for Jesus.
And also, I'm not a Bible thumper.
And I believe that God is love and that when we have more
money, there will be more love in the world.
When money runs through the hands of women because we are
the life givers. We are the ones that want
sustainability. We want the environment to win.
(32:52):
And you know what Emily? Men want that too.
They just haven't been given much permission or space or
respect for wanting that, too. And it's time.
And it will happen when this is the predominant conversation for
women and money, Yeah. I mean, I think if more people
had the willingness to come hometo themselves and break out of
(33:13):
the boxes they feel like they have to live in, like so many
beautiful good things would happen so much.
It's happening. Hatred that we see, so much
projection, so many just yucky things that are happening are
coming from, like, people who are deeply unhealed and
repressed and angry. And it's, you know, how do we
change the world? We heal ourselves.
Yeah. It influences our partners.
(33:34):
It influences our friendships. It influences our communities.
It influences our kids. Like, you know, I came into
teaching because I wanted to make the world a better place.
So what I have learned is we make the world a better place
through our own hearts and through our own healing
journeys. And then the way that we stand
in community with other women because by nature we value
reciprocity, we value community,we value like everyone having
(33:58):
what they need and then some. But it has to come from this
willingness to like, lay down the rules we don't want to play
by anymore. Agreed.
Totally agree. And this is the conversation
that we are having on Real Money.
This is the conversation that you're having on your podcast.
Wild and waking. I know it's it's rebranded since
you were on it. It used to be called Gather and
(34:18):
Growth and it needed some. It needed some more fire behind
it after everything I've been through.
I love that we invite you as a part of the Real Money community
to keep having this conversation.
Share this episode out to another woman who is wild, who
is waking, who has seen that there's another possibility.
Come join the conversation with us.
Just because someone who has 300million followers said it
(34:40):
doesn't make it true. So question what's what's
happening in the media? Question what's happening in
your communities, question otherpeople.
Do it with love and courage. And on those days where you
don't feel as strong, come hang out with us and we'll give you
the courage. We'll lift you up because that's
the work that you're doing, Emily.
Yeah. Ultimately, I mean, there are
just too many women who feel like they're the only ones.
(35:01):
Yeah. And it stops them from using
their voice. And of course, like when women
use their voice, really big change happens.
And that's very threatening to asystem that does not like that.
But we are so much stronger together.
I mean, that's like the most cliche thing to say, but it's.
It's true. And so when we sit in circles,
when we sit in rooms, when we sit in conversations, we're
(35:23):
like, oh, my gosh, I'm not the only one.
Like we get to lean on each other's courage and bravery to
really change the conversation, and that's what excites me.
Agreed, and it's not just for wealthy women in Manhattan
anymore. It's for every woman.
You're doing it in small town America, which is beautiful and
agricultural America, which is beautiful.
(35:45):
I'm doing it here in Las Vegas. However we do it, we do it.
This is your invitation as a listener to do it yourself too
and figure out the pathway for yourself and lean into love
because love wins at the end of the day.
I truly believe that it. Truly does, yeah.
And I, I really think we are in a whether you call it a season,
a portal, a period right now of women, especially leading the
(36:07):
charge and like waking up and asking harder questions and
diving into themselves and healing and learning and growing
and challenging. And I know that this timeline
feels so disoriented, like it's impossible to not open your
phone right now and just want tothrow it out the window and
scream into the abyss. Yeah.
But I I forever optimist and I also believe that like this is
(36:29):
happening for a reason, right? Like things have to explode and
crumble sometimes before the phoenix can rise from the ashes.
And I think that's what we're seeing in real time.
I agree. I think a lot of us worry like
how bad is it gonna be before wegrumble and have to rebuild?
But I hold on to the trust and the faith and the hope that we
will. And the work like you and I are
(36:51):
doing, and the women in our communities who are doing the
same thing, are going to be the ones that put it back together
and lead the charge from a healed, healthy space that is
rooted in love and reciprocity and just beautiful, beautiful
things. That's right.
That's right. Great way to end the show.
Thank you for being here today. I I do have a rapid fire round
(37:11):
that I love to play. This is one of my favorite games
to play with kids. My favorite game to play on road
trips. And so we're going to play an
old fashioned game of this or that.
Are you ready? I am so ready.
Morning person or night owl? Become a morning person.
OK, cook at home or eat out. So far away from here, it's like
we have no options, no delivery,no restaurants, nothing.
So you must cook. She must cook.
(37:33):
I must cook. I had to get really good at
grocery shopping. It's terrible.
Podcasts or books? Oh, I can't choose.
Pick one. Books.
Beach vacation or mountain retreat?
Mountain. Me too.
Save or spend? Spend Me too.
Big city or small town? Small town.
We knew that we knew that summer.
(37:54):
But I do love, I do love to visit the city.
Yeah, but then go home. I could be happy anywhere.
Like I love to hang out on the beach.
Like I'm not the person that's like going to get a vacation
home in one place. Like I want to see it all.
I want to do it all. I want to explore.
I want to be everywhere. Sneakers or heels?
Sneakers for sure. Planet or wing it?
Wing it. We do You're like my spirit
sister. Netflix binge or outdoor
(38:17):
adventure? Outdoor adventure for sure.
Dream big or stay grounded. Dream big while staying
grounded. I thought the same thing.
Yes, that's exactly what I thought too.
Why we have to pay? Yeah, I mean.
Because for a long time, like somuch of my platform was about
like, go after the goals, go after the big dreams.
And I still wholeheartedly believe like, you can bring
freaking anything to life. But if it's rooted in this like
(38:37):
expectation and need to prove yourself and it's not coming
from a healthy place, that's also not good either.
So I think it's part of like getting really aligned and clear
on you and your desires and yourpurpose and freaking going for
the stars. But it has to be coming from a
healed health the whole place orelse it's just another fast
track to burnout, obviously. We've seen this story right
(38:59):
itself over and over and over again that unhealed, ungrounded
people drink, dream big, go big,somehow attract the results, and
then burnout and even die in the.
Process, yes, it's like the I think it's called officially the
arrival fallacy. But the lie of ones once I do
this, then I'll be happy once I do this, then I'll be happy.
Once I do this, then I'll be happy.
And the truth is, your life happens everywhere in between.
(39:20):
Like big goals, big dream, big ideas.
Like amazing love that. But your life consists of the
way you feel on a Tuesday morning and the depths of your
relationships and like what you're thinking about when your
head hits the pillow every night.
And so there has to be this rooted, grounded intention
behind reaching for the stars. I totally agree.
(39:41):
Thank you. That was not a very good this or
that, but that's my. That was great, That was great,
that was great. I appreciate your heart.
I appreciate you as a human, as a woman, as someone who is on a
mission similar but in our very different ways.
If you don't follow Emily, make sure to follow Emily.
Let us know what you loved aboutthis episode.
Let us know what you learned. We're all over Instagram.
(40:03):
We'll be all over YouTube. And we'll have you back on the
show. Emily, thank you for being here.
Thank you for being who you are.Yeah.
Anything else you want to share while before we head out?
Man, that's like, that's like the hardest question.
Like what's the one piece of advice?
What is it? What's in your heart?
What's in your heart right now? What's in my heart right now?
I think that it is safe to be you.
(40:26):
It is safe to be the weird, the wild, the curious, the
emotional, the empathetic, the out there.
Like whatever it is, people are there and so much of the what
are they going to think that we drown in is completely
fabricated or not meant for you in the 1st place.
It's safe to come home to yourself and in fact, it's a
(40:48):
really beautiful place to be. Love that, love you.
Thank you. Love you.
Thank you, this was amazing. It was amazing.
All right, everyone, you heard it.
Be yourselves, love yourselves. This is real money because when
you change your relationship with money, you change
everything. We'll see you next time on REAL
MONEY and have a beautiful day everyone.
No one talking about the intersection between personal
growth and development and womenin small towns and rural
communities. I think a lot of women in small
towns buy into this idea of if you want to do something more
important like go to the city. And then I'm like, well, I don't
want that. But like I cannot go through the
rest of my life just going through the motions.
The number of times I've had theconversation with women, they're
(00:20):
like, I just, I'm afraid I'm going to outgrow my husband.
They're becoming more self aware, more aligned, more filled
with purpose and who they're meant to be.
And their partners are simply not interested.
If I want to continue doing lifewith this person, that comes
with a willingness to sit into discomfort.
As we are going through massive identity evolutions.
(00:41):
Like there has to be the willingness to be uncomfortable.
Hey, I'm Lisa and this is real money.
Forget the spreadsheets for a minute.
Money is emotional 1st and that's where real change begins.
Today we're talking about money,community, and the courage to
lead differently. My guest Emily is a Community
builder podcast host and she runs this amazing community
(01:02):
called The Coven. She is teaching women how to
lead with authenticity, how to rise together.
And today we're talking about how Emily rose from small town
roots. She lives in a town of 43 to
today building a huge platform that gives women permission to
be themselves and lead with love.
And it all has to do with money.Let's get started.
Emily, welcome to the show. The reason that I brought you
(01:28):
onto the show is that you're doing some really progressive,
amazing, disruptive work for women in the Midwest.
I was on your podcast, Gosh, over a year ago.
I know I was thinking about thatlike kind of a long time ago.
And I have a total girl crush onyou and I love what you're doing
and I love your podcast and I love you.
(01:50):
So please check out Emily on Instagram.
We'll give you everything's in the show notes.
And what I really want to talk about is my experience of women
in the Midwest and the work thatyou're doing to disrupt
conversations and art working for women in the Midwest.
I love this, This is going to begood.
Yeah, and there's the whole, andthis isn't just women in this
isn't just women in the Midwest,but like there's this whole trad
(02:11):
movement, trad wife movement, people wanting to go back to the
way things were for women politically.
There's a lot of conversations about what women's roles are.
Should they be in the military? Should they be stay at home
moms? And you're blowing this
conversation wide open. What do you think about all
this? I think you bring up so many
(02:31):
interesting points in so many ofthese conversations.
I feel like it's really easy forus to get hyper fixated on the
one topic at hand. And I think especially the past,
gosh, 18 months or so, not only with what's been going on within
me, but also in response to whatis happening in our country and
externally in the world, I have been starting to see like, oh,
(02:56):
this is all so deeply interconnected and so much more
than the conversation that's right in front of us.
Like I just kept seeing the samethrough line with my clients of,
you know, this like total disconnection from self, this
perceived lack of confidence that actually comes from the
fact that they don't know love and trust themselves, right?
(03:16):
And so it was like, what has contributed to all of these
brilliant, passionate, beautiful, smart, kind, caring
women, like having this like crisis of I've checked all the
boxes, I've done all the things and like, why am I so miserable?
But why am I so stuck trying to do what I want to do?
And so it's peeled back all of these very systemic layers in
(03:39):
religion, in politics, in the way that we were raised.
And then even going back generations and generations
further, like, Oh my God, man, we could really go on so many
different rabbit holes of, you know, patriarchal conditioning,
like the onset of colonization, like the onset of the church as
an institution, as a means of power, and the way that that has
been manipulated over time. And like what we see right in
(04:02):
front of us isn't even rooted inthe reality of what actually
happened, right? And so it's been this really
messy, complicated unraveling. And I think especially 2020 till
now, but especially especially the last year has kind of been
this explosive awakening. It really has for women,
(04:22):
especially being like all of these things that we were told
is the truth or is what we need to be doing or is the path
forward. Like none of this is working
anymore. And to your point, like I've
been seeing for years, these little like pockets of
awakening, like questioning the school system, questioning the
food system, questioning hustle culture, this, that and the
other. And now I feel like more and
(04:45):
more women, at least the ones that I'm connected to, are
starting to be like, OK, but this is like, everything.
And what does this mean? And where do we go from here?
What does this mean and where dowe go from here?
Emily, that's a great question. Where do we?
What does it mean? Well, that's how long do we
have. We have the time that we need
for the woman who is wanting to have a healthy relationship with
(05:05):
money. That's why she's in my world.
But also in the sense of disruption.
We're we're redefining real timewhat it means to be a woman on
the planet today. And women with money, which is
where you and I connected, was like, holy shit, this is a lot
to take in. And this is the work that we
have to do right now as women. We have to step up into the
(05:26):
leadership role of our lives. We have to be having more
conscious conversations, aware of our generational patterns.
Yes. And owning our choice, not just
by default, that this is who we have to be as women.
Yeah. And this is where this whole
other layer to your point comes in, you know, specifically
talking about the Midwest or primarily the the women I work
(05:47):
with are in small towns, rural communities, you know, and so
there's this extra perceived or real layer of expectations.
And that's ultimately what. What are the?
Expectations. This is ultimately what it comes
down to. Expectations around, like you
said, who a woman should be, howshe should show up, how she
should work, how she should be in the home, like how to be a
(06:08):
good mom, a Good Wife, a good employee.
And there isn't just one, right?Yeah, So many of the women in my
world are unconsciously and consciously living into this
laundry list of expectations that they have been handed over
the course of a lifetime. And then we have these, like,
little tiny computers, dopamine machines, which is such a
(06:29):
blessing, right? I've gotten to meet you and so
many incredible people in my life through it.
But we have this, like, ever present measuring stick that
tells us that we're not enough or that we should be doing it
differently or that we're doing it wrong.
And So what I have found is likethe most common in how we help
women regain their power. And I think that this is in, in
(06:50):
money in life and autonomy, in purpose.
Is that reconnection with self, Right.
If every woman genuinely knew, love and trusted herself, we'd
be having a totally different conversation.
But we've been living into all of these other layers of
conditioning and expectations that have severed that self
(07:12):
trust, totally disconnected it. So of course we are at the whim
of all of these external factorstelling us how to define our
lives and what we should be doing.
If we trusted ourselves, if we trust ourselves because I've had
this conversation in small ruralcommunities with women, that
would mean that we would also have to make changes in our
(07:34):
lives that we may or may not want to make.
I had a woman tell me specifically, Lisa, if I if I
make more money than my husband,I'm afraid he's going to leave
me. What are you hearing on the back
of the other side of that conversation?
If we trusted ourselves, if I trusted myself, holy, I would
(07:55):
Blank. Yeah.
Well, I think this goes back to the roles that we feel like we
need to play. And you know, on this
conversation of even looking at like a hetero marriage dynamic,
right? Like it is in so many ways.
And again, this is my perceived experience from my point of
view, from my life and from the women I work with.
I am not an expert in this by any means.
(08:16):
So if someone's listening and they're like, no, no, no, you're
wrong, please, by all means, send me your information.
I am a student of life. You are you're an expert because
you're an expert in your own life.
OK, there we go. But so many women of I would say
our generation or around us havebeen empowered to have it all to
lead to like step into doing allof these things.
(08:37):
We've cultivated inner self-awareness.
We have a growth mindset, right?And I don't feel like men have
been conditioned to do the same.So there was someone who was on
my podcast a while ago who was talking about how so many women
are living in like a very masculine space, almost like a
(08:58):
wounded masculine space. And how many men are actually
living in a very wounded feminine space.
Like they have not been empowered to have the autonomy
over their lives and they are equally as reactive.
So when a woman is stepping intoher power, potentially earning
more, trusting herself, like bending the rules and
expectations of the community, the church, the political
(09:18):
narrative, the generational things that have been passed
down like that feels very threatening because they haven't
necessarily been taught or empowered to step into the
fullness of their, you know, divine masculinity or really
even their power in themselves, right?
We have all these, like, false narratives of what it means to
be a man that isn't really rooted in their, you know,
(09:41):
mental and emotional health either.
It's totally disruptive. It's totally changing things,
yeah. So I think this is another
example of how we're seeing thislike bubble popping of this
like, again, deep severance fromself, this deep emotional
immaturity and not knowing what to do about it.
(10:01):
And so like the number of times I've had the conversation with
women, they're like, I just, I'mafraid I'm going to outgrow my
husband, right? Whether or not this is related
to money, when they're on a personal growth journey or
they're focusing on their healthor, you know, they're diving
into their spirituality or whatever, there's this like
they're moving onward and upward.
They're becoming more self aware, more aligned, more filled
with purpose and you know who they're meant to be.
(10:23):
And their partners are simply not interested, of course, like
they're going to grow apart. And most women that I talked to
are not asking their partners tonecessarily grow in the same
way. Like you don't have to agree
with me. You don't have to be on this,
but like you got to be on your own path.
And my husband and I have been very open about what this looked
like in our relationship. When I kind of started my
(10:44):
personal growth and health journey, it was kind of like a
whoa, what is happening here? My wife is becoming different
than, you know, who we were whenwe agreed in this like marriage
situation. And it took a few years of him
also sitting in the very real fear of, my gosh, what if she
outgrows me? What if she leaves me?
What if we're not compatible anymore?
(11:05):
Before he had to rise the occasion and be like, well,
that's a choice. Like, OK, how do I do this too?
And like, I can't do it for him,right?
I can't make him go to therapy. I can't make him read the book.
I can't make him listen to the podcast.
Like it had to be his self ownership to be like, if I want
to continue doing life with thisperson, like I need to step the
fuck up and figure out the ways that I need to grow and pursue
(11:27):
my own journey. That's right.
But that comes with a willingness to sit in the
discomfort. And this is true for men and
women, right? As we are pursuing growth of any
kind, as we're pursuing change, as we're taking in new ideas, as
we are going through massive identity evolutions, like there
has to be the willingness to be uncomfortable.
And I know that you speak on that too, with especially
(11:48):
conversations around money. There is no other transfer of
energy that has so much emotional weight behind it.
Or no, something you speak on too is like, you have to get
uncomfortable. You have to be willing to sit in
that messy middle, to be able tolook in the mirror, to be able
to face and befriend your shadows in order to actually get
(12:08):
from where you are to where you wanna be.
And the truth is, like, that is a very intentional choice
because it's not fun. It's very messy, and it doesn't
happen quickly. We live in a world that just
wants, like, the easy button. Like, I'm gonna listen to this
podcast and I'm immediately gonna know what to do and I'm
gonna apply it. My life is gonna be perfect
forever. Like periods of evolution,
especially when it's related to our identity and rearranging our
(12:33):
worldview and belief system. Whether it's around money, you
know, the way that we parent, our marriage, our self, mental
health, like whatever. Like, it comes with this like
shadow period this wintering, this like going inward and
taking it all apart and putting it back together before we see
the fruits of our labor. And that's where, you know, this
(12:56):
understanding of seasonality hasbeen also really important for
me. Do you want me to dive into that
or is there something another direction you want to go?
There's there's a lot that we can cover.
The point of all of this is thatEmily's amazing and she you're
having these conversations on the daily.
But I do want to slow it down because for a woman who is who's
(13:18):
listening and she's like, just tell me what to do because what
I'm doing isn't working anymore.What I'm what I'm seeing real
time on the political landscape.America is in crisis right now.
We have a mental health crisis. All the things that you were
just speaking into is that thereis an unfolding and undoing of
things. And you have to lean in.
(13:41):
Yeah. And realize that this isn't the
end. This is the beginning, not just
for women, but for men, because those conventional ways of being
are being challenged and ripped apart.
And we're seeing toxic masculinity raise its head right
now because it's like, what? We've had all of this
unawareness and have and. And now you're telling me that
(14:03):
I'm wrong. Yeah, And we're saying no, dude,
there's just another way. And we're tired of the way it's
been. And So what do you do?
You lean in. And then the second thing that
you do is you join a community of women where you have the
support and the sisterhood to take the time that you need to
(14:24):
figure things out. So don't just jump off the
diving board. Yes, Yeah.
But join the conversation. This is an invitation for you to
join the conversation and speak the fuck up.
Speak up, speak into your pain, speak into your discomfort,
speak into your like your weariness, speak into your
questions, your rage, your rage,your rage.
(14:46):
I was literally thinking this, Ihave eczema on my foot right
now. TMI, whatever.
I have eczema on my foot and being an NLP practitioner, I'm
like, what is this about? It's on my left foot.
And this morning it came to me like boom, right out of the
shower. It's rage.
It's on communicated rage and sadness and worry and knowing
that you and I, we have the microphone, we have the power,
(15:08):
we have the voice, we use our voice.
We want women to join us in thisconversation.
Yeah, it's so true. You know, for years we have been
taught that women are our competition.
You know, I don't know about you, but I feel like I was
raised in, like, the height of mean girl culture.
Totally. Literally, we have every teen
movie about it, right? Like, she is out to get you.
(15:31):
Like, she's here to ruin your life.
Like, let's fight over this, like crusty boy, Right?
And that is intentional because when women come together, magic
happens. And I'm not being dramatic when
I say that I have led, LED enough women's circles,
retreats, masterminds conversations where when we
enter into a space with the intention of safety and being
(15:53):
seen, heard and understood, likewalls come down so quickly.
One of the most powerful words in our language is me too.
And realizing like the things that we are deeply wrestling
with, We're not alone in that. Like we were meant to do life
together. If you think about like the
earliest of peoples, women have always been side by side,
raising our kids, having conversations like asking
(16:16):
questions and just being together.
And here we sit in these little concrete boxes, staring at
various sized screens, theoretically more accessible
than ever, but more deeply disconnected than for most of
humanity. And so, so much of the is the
willingness to lay down those wounds of sisterhood and be able
(16:41):
to step in to spaces that are having conversations like this
and not feel like we have to have it all figured out.
Like that's so much of what I'm trying to create right now is,
you know, most of the women in my world identify as being
achievers to some capacity. Like we want to have the answers
before we do anything with it because we don't we don't want
to be seen as like wrong or ill prepared or dumb or whatever.
(17:06):
Yes, imperfect. That's the exactly the word.
And it's like I'm on a forever journey of curiosity and taking
a new information and changing my mind and figuring things out.
If I wait until I have everything perfect to say
anything like it's never going to happen.
No, and often we not even often all the time when we engage in
(17:28):
these meaningful dialogues without the expectation of
imperfection is actually when weconnect the dots and are able to
speak from this like healed healthy place to be able to
drive our thoughts, our ideas, our missions.
For sometimes it feels like it'stoo big.
Sometimes it feels like, I don'tknow if you watch the morning
show on it's on Apple. It's a show that Jennifer
(17:49):
Aniston and Reese Witherspoon have done together.
Masterful. It's masterful, yes.
Put it on your list, everybody put it on your list.
And in a very beautiful way, they are painting the picture of
what it's like to be a corporatewoman today, corporate woman in
media today, and what the relationship is with the media
and the public. And it feels very big.
(18:11):
And it feels like you have to beJennifer Aniston, who's running
this billion dollar media company to get anything done.
But the the truth is, and to thepoint of your whole community is
it's done with your neighbors and your sisters.
And in rural America, we're speaking to you right now in
your heart is that it happens inyour communities, it happens in
your schools. It happens with intentional
(18:33):
raising of our children to be less competitive, which is the
masculine way, and lean in to support each other.
And we don't have to be marchingdown the street in Washington,
DC to get anything accomplished.And I would say when it comes to
money specifically, where it's accomplished is where we spend
our money every single day and by making new choices.
(18:57):
All of that to say is where where are you bridging this
conversation with money? Because I know our first
conversation was eye opening andI know you're still talking
about money in your communities.But for a woman who wants to
make change in her life financially, what are the ways
that she can do that today, right now, in the moment?
I think a really important part of this conversation that comes
(19:18):
up a lot for the women I work with is even just trying to
understand what are the stories that they have around money.
And this is true no matter what journey you're on, whether
money, mental health, parenting or beyond.
But what are the capital T truths that you believe because
someone else told you or you absorbed along the way?
(19:38):
Like what is guiding your thoughts, your ideas, your
decisions around this idea of money?
And a lot of times for the womenI work with, it's like, money is
bad. People who have money are bad.
But then there's also the juxtaposition that's like, make
as much money as possible, but also like, don't tell anyone
that you're make. Like there's just so much drama.
(19:59):
It is a lot of drama. Around money, you know, then
you're talking about the way that you earn and your role in
the house and like all of this. And so I think one of the most
powerful things that we can do is even just recognize the
conditioning, the stories, the expectations we have around
whatever it is that we're desiring to understand or change
and just bringing a sense of neutrality to it.
(20:19):
Like, of course, I feel this waybecause of this story I was told
in my childhood. Of course, I feel this way
because of this thing that I've absorbed.
And then I think it can be really helpful to be like, OK,
but is that something that I want to continue to be true for
me anymore, right. And often times the answer is
no. And so then I think it comes
from this place of curiosity around, OK, well, how can I
(20:41):
start healing or changing that? Because then unfortunately it's
not as simple as like, OK, Yep, I don't want to believe it
anymore. I guess it's gone.
It's not. That easy.
I wish it was that easy. I wish.
It was too, I know. But a lot of times when we have
the recognition around the story, then we feel shame.
I wish I wasn't this way, or I feel terribly about this, like I
(21:01):
hate this about myself. Like shame serves absolutely no
one. Literally no one.
Well, so just people who are trying to control you, well
that's it serves who are trying to be right.
If they're going to be right, they're going to shame you for
being wrong. That's so true.
It doesn't serve us to. Sit.
It does not serve us. But it does, it does serve,
especially in the finance industry, it serves a lot of
(21:22):
people. That's such a good point.
OK, so, but for the person listening, I think even just
bringing to the state of neutrality of like this is where
I'm at, of course, that this is where I'm at now.
What can I do from here? And then, you know,
unfortunately, there's not a super easy answer, but I think
you have a million resources of directions that you can then go
(21:43):
to start healing, to start making changes, right?
Maybe it's working with Lisa. Maybe it's a podcast, maybe it's
a book, maybe it's therapy. Like maybe it's some sort of
like energetic, the healing work, right?
Like I know for such a long timeI tried to intellectualize my
way through solving my problems,right?
Because I'm a smart girl and I can figure anything out.
And the first time my therapist was like, but how does that make
(22:05):
you feel? I was like, bloody lead.
What? Gross.
And so that's what led me down like deeper paths of like
somatic breath work or Reiki or just working with different
types of practitioners or peoplewho have ideas around rewiring
mindsets and limiting beliefs. And like clearing some of those
(22:27):
cords and attachments we have to, I mean, there's so many
different directions we can go, right?
And it's not one-size-fits-all, but at the very basic
understanding how you're experiencing it, what you're
feeling about it, what you're thinking about it, where that
came from, bringing it to a place of neutrality and then
deciding where to go from there and doing it.
And then do it. That's such a great point.
And then go do it. When was your awakening to this?
(22:51):
Being in a rural community, you are not the majority of
thinkers. And I'm imagining in your own
community, you are not the majority of thinkers.
So you came to this on your own somehow, some way.
So let's start there and then let's talk about for the women
who are not in the majority, whoare thinking more progressively,
more outside the box. My friend Morgan comes to mind,
(23:13):
who came to one of your conferences or a conference that
you spoke at where she feels really isolated.
So how did it happen for you? Yeah.
And this is, I feel like it was a layered journey for me.
So 2019, I had had my second child and as so many of us do,
had like checked all the boxes. I was just trying to be so good
for everyone. I didn't have the language for
(23:34):
it at the time, right? How old are you?
How young were you? Let's see, I would have been 29.
I was born in 90. So math is like to figure out.
So I was 29, I had had my first,I changed careers, I had had my
second. I went back to work way too
early. Was working like 60 hours a
week, pumping like 8 times a day, nursing around the clock,
had a baby, had a toddler, had ahusband, we renovated a house,
(23:55):
we bought land. Like we did all the things
right. And I had this moment of
realization of like, I have everything I've ever won in and
that we worked so hard for and I'm grateful and miserable.
Yeah. Like I low key hate this.
I'm so burnt out. I'm so frustrated.
I didn't even have the language for it at the time, but I was
just like, I hate this. And I don't know why.
There has to be a better way to live my life.
(24:16):
And so that started with a health journey rooted in love
instead of shame for the first time.
Like I can't. I don't care about ellipticaling
skinny or about like some weird diet.
Like I just want to feel. I just want to feel better,
right? Like it was the first time I
really listened to myself to be like how do different foods make
me feel? Turns out like gluten and dairy
(24:36):
were waging war on my body. But I had known because before I
became a mom, I spent eight years binge drinking, right?
So of course, I felt like garbage.
And that ultimately led me to the world of personal growth and
development, which helped me understand goals and habits and
really what it looked like to build my day-to-day from a place
intentionality instead of just default, right?
(24:58):
And I've always been like an ambitious person who is doing
good things. But it was like, OK, but how do
I want to feel? How do I want to experience
this? How do I want to show up?
So again, but it was like through this lens of trying,
trying to listen to like what I really needed, not just like,
here's the checklist that someone else has said is going
to make me feel better, but like, what do I actually need
and want in the season I. Love that.
(25:19):
For you, Yeah. And so then, to your point, I
started to realize there was no one talking about the
intersection between personal growth and development and women
in small towns and rural communities.
My husband and I live on a farm in West central Illinois in a
town of 43 people. Takes us 45 minutes to get to
the grocery store and we love ithere.
(25:39):
Like I love walking out of my back patio and seeing green and
the stars and my kids run muck, right.
It's beautiful. And also, I think a lot of women
in small towns buy into this idea of, like, OK, this is it.
If you want to do something moreimportant, like go to the city
or something, like, right, There's all this, like, bullshit
(26:00):
stuck in there. And I'm like, well, I don't want
that. But like, I cannot go through
the rest of my life just going through the motions.
So I did what any sane person does during the pandemic.
And I started an Instagram account just being like, I can't
be the only person who's thinking about this.
Yeah. And it turns out I wasn't.
There was thousands and thousands more women who live in
places like this all around in the world, who were feeling
(26:20):
similarly, who were feeling likealiens for wanting to be
intentional mother differently. Talk about goals, dig into
personal growth related things. So I jumped in and started a
coaching business which I thought was going to be rooted
in goals and habits and mindset.Work.
Yeah, no. Lol no no but quickly you know,
(26:41):
became a community builder and brought together women through
masterminds who were interested in bringing their goals and
dreams to life and felt like aliens in their zip code and
sprinting towards that led me toanother season of burnout that
got me into therapy for the first time which started.
That last That was 2020. To what?
So I officially left my job in August of 21 and it was by
(27:06):
probably October of 2022 that I was like I am not OK.
So still in that achiever. Drowning, yes.
You were still in that achiever mode, right?
Yes. So it was in therapy that I
finally understood and confronted my addiction to
approval and achievement and accolades as a means of earning
love and worthiness. And I have never been a person
(27:29):
that's motivated by money. Like, I was an elementary school
teacher making $26,000 a year. Like, I just wanted to be loved
for, like, how impactful I was, Right?
I just wanted to make a difference.
I wanted to help people. You still.
But that was my driving force. Yeah.
Yeah. And now I make a shit ton of
money. It's amazing, right?
(27:50):
But it was like I was constantlychasing like, if I can just do
enough for someone else, then I will be enough.
So that kind of changed the conversation around mental
health. And then, you know, as I was
growing my business, more and more women in small towns, rural
communities started being reallycurious around like, wow, you're
really building this life of like playing by a different set
of rules of financial and time freedom, Like how do I do that
(28:11):
too? And so that led me into working
with more aspiring or new entrepreneurs.
And not that entrepreneurship ismy passion, but at the time,
especially women who were wanting to claim autonomy on
their own life and throw the rules out the window and really
dive into like, what do I reallywant and how do I craft that for
(28:32):
myself through the vehicle of entrepreneurship was so
exciting. And that's where the
conversations around money and worth come up so much.
You know, a lot of women are very comfortable with like the
transaction of like, you hired me.
I do this exact kind of work andthen I get this exact kind of
salary, right? And not that there's not all
(28:53):
sorts of other things we could take apart in there, but helping
women gain the clarity and confidence to be or be
compensated for who they are andthe gifts that they bring to the
table, independent of what someone else that's right
expected from them. Like was a whole another layer
of money mindset work. And even one more layer past
(29:14):
that, Like the number of entrepreneurs I work with who
like, say, for example, it's like, OK, well, I have this
amount of beef, you give me thisamount of money that feels good.
Or I create this amount of social media posts, you give me
this amount of money that feels good.
And then when they want to step into like a thought leadership
related business and it's like, wait, people are going to pay me
for my time and my presence. And my energy and.
(29:36):
In my opinion and my ideas like that is very, very unsettling
and another really big thing to work through.
And again it comes back to that like self, inner trust and
worth. This is the future for women.
Listen up. Listen up.
What Emily speak. This is happening in a in a town
of 43 people. And this is in the heartland of
America. And this is where the majority
(29:58):
of Americans, we have a lot of people in the city.
But this is this is the heartbeat.
This is the pulse of women in America today.
And you need to hear this, that our future is not in corporate
America. Yeah.
We are paving a new way connected to value and vision
and purpose, and we're learning how to make money that is not
dependent upon a corporation. So this is the disruption
(30:21):
happening real time. Which is crazy because if you go
back far enough, like this is how it's always been.
Like women were the spiritual guys of their community, they
were the healers, they were the doulas, they were the creators
of of life and everything and beyond.
And so interestingly enough, I feel like we're just coming back
to we're coming home to ourselves, to each other and to
(30:44):
like the way we were always meant to be.
But that is really unsettling for this like capitalistic
patriarchal machine that we've been running in for the past
couple 100 years, you know, and it was like before the
agricultural and industrial revolution, like women's time
and value and presence was valued very differently than
(31:05):
when it became like a transaction of goods and money
in exchange. Here's what I know about women
when good women, good people in general, but especially women,
have money in their hands. They do really good things.
We do. We do.
It is circulated in communities.We pay each other generously,
(31:26):
like we support artisans. We focus on our healing and the
well-being of the people in our lives.
Like when money is in the hands of women, like it circulates and
it moves and it does so, so muchgood.
And so I always like to say, like, you are not a bad person
for desiring financial resourcesbecause you will do so many good
(31:49):
things with them. And when women are well
resourced, they are able to showup better for their families.
They're able to do really empowering, incredible things
for their communities. Like, it is actually the most
like selfless thing you can do to charge what you're worth and
step into your powder and own your shit and like, let go of
(32:10):
this conditioning that says likeyou're not good enough or you're
not worthy enough to be compensated.
Like bullshit. You're so smart and you're so
passionate and you're so good atwhat you do.
Like, just keep going on. Just keep doing it.
I pray everyday because I am. I am a woman of faith.
I was raised Southern Baptist, fell away from the church.
(32:31):
I found Jesus again. I'm so grateful for Jesus.
And also, I'm not a Bible thumper.
And I believe that God is love and that when we have more
money, there will be more love in the world.
When money runs through the hands of women because we are
the life givers. We are the ones that want
sustainability. We want the environment to win.
(32:52):
And you know what Emily? Men want that too.
They just haven't been given much permission or space or
respect for wanting that, too. And it's time.
And it will happen when this is the predominant conversation for
women and money, Yeah. I mean, I think if more people
had the willingness to come hometo themselves and break out of
(33:13):
the boxes they feel like they have to live in, like so many
beautiful good things would happen so much.
It's happening. Hatred that we see, so much
projection, so many just yucky things that are happening are
coming from, like, people who are deeply unhealed and
repressed and angry. And it's, you know, how do we
change the world? We heal ourselves.
Yeah. It influences our partners.
(33:34):
It influences our friendships. It influences our communities.
It influences our kids. Like, you know, I came into
teaching because I wanted to make the world a better place.
So what I have learned is we make the world a better place
through our own hearts and through our own healing
journeys. And then the way that we stand
in community with other women because by nature we value
reciprocity, we value community,we value like everyone having
(33:58):
what they need and then some. But it has to come from this
willingness to like, lay down the rules we don't want to play
by anymore. Agreed.
Totally agree. And this is the conversation
that we are having on Real Money.
This is the conversation that you're having on your podcast.
Wild and waking. I know it's it's rebranded since
you were on it. It used to be called Gather and
(34:18):
Growth and it needed some. It needed some more fire behind
it after everything I've been through.
I love that we invite you as a part of the Real Money community
to keep having this conversation.
Share this episode out to another woman who is wild, who
is waking, who has seen that there's another possibility.
Come join the conversation with us.
Just because someone who has 300million followers said it
(34:40):
doesn't make it true. So question what's what's
happening in the media? Question what's happening in
your communities, question otherpeople.
Do it with love and courage. And on those days where you
don't feel as strong, come hang out with us and we'll give you
the courage. We'll lift you up because that's
the work that you're doing, Emily.
Yeah. Ultimately, I mean, there are
just too many women who feel like they're the only ones.
(35:01):
Yeah. And it stops them from using
their voice. And of course, like when women
use their voice, really big change happens.
And that's very threatening to asystem that does not like that.
But we are so much stronger together.
I mean, that's like the most cliche thing to say, but it's.
It's true. And so when we sit in circles,
when we sit in rooms, when we sit in conversations, we're
(35:23):
like, oh, my gosh, I'm not the only one.
Like we get to lean on each other's courage and bravery to
really change the conversation, and that's what excites me.
Agreed, and it's not just for wealthy women in Manhattan
anymore. It's for every woman.
You're doing it in small town America, which is beautiful and
agricultural America, which is beautiful.
(35:45):
I'm doing it here in Las Vegas. However we do it, we do it.
This is your invitation as a listener to do it yourself too
and figure out the pathway for yourself and lean into love
because love wins at the end of the day.
I truly believe that it. Truly does, yeah.
And I, I really think we are in a whether you call it a season,
a portal, a period right now of women, especially leading the
(36:07):
charge and like waking up and asking harder questions and
diving into themselves and healing and learning and growing
and challenging. And I know that this timeline
feels so disoriented, like it's impossible to not open your
phone right now and just want tothrow it out the window and
scream into the abyss. Yeah.
But I I forever optimist and I also believe that like this is
(36:29):
happening for a reason, right? Like things have to explode and
crumble sometimes before the phoenix can rise from the ashes.
And I think that's what we're seeing in real time.
I agree. I think a lot of us worry like
how bad is it gonna be before wegrumble and have to rebuild?
But I hold on to the trust and the faith and the hope that we
will. And the work like you and I are
(36:51):
doing, and the women in our communities who are doing the
same thing, are going to be the ones that put it back together
and lead the charge from a healed, healthy space that is
rooted in love and reciprocity and just beautiful, beautiful
things. That's right.
That's right. Great way to end the show.
Thank you for being here today. I I do have a rapid fire round
(37:11):
that I love to play. This is one of my favorite games
to play with kids. My favorite game to play on road
trips. And so we're going to play an
old fashioned game of this or that.
Are you ready? I am so ready.
Morning person or night owl? Become a morning person.
OK, cook at home or eat out. So far away from here, it's like
we have no options, no delivery,no restaurants, nothing.
So you must cook. She must cook.
(37:33):
I must cook. I had to get really good at
grocery shopping. It's terrible.
Podcasts or books? Oh, I can't choose.
Pick one. Books.
Beach vacation or mountain retreat?
Mountain. Me too.
Save or spend? Spend Me too.
Big city or small town? Small town.
We knew that we knew that summer.
(37:54):
But I do love, I do love to visit the city.
Yeah, but then go home. I could be happy anywhere.
Like I love to hang out on the beach.
Like I'm not the person that's like going to get a vacation
home in one place. Like I want to see it all.
I want to do it all. I want to explore.
I want to be everywhere. Sneakers or heels?
Sneakers for sure. Planet or wing it?
Wing it. We do You're like my spirit
sister. Netflix binge or outdoor
(38:17):
adventure? Outdoor adventure for sure.
Dream big or stay grounded. Dream big while staying
grounded. I thought the same thing.
Yes, that's exactly what I thought too.
Why we have to pay? Yeah, I mean.
Because for a long time, like somuch of my platform was about
like, go after the goals, go after the big dreams.
And I still wholeheartedly believe like, you can bring
freaking anything to life. But if it's rooted in this like
(38:37):
expectation and need to prove yourself and it's not coming
from a healthy place, that's also not good either.
So I think it's part of like getting really aligned and clear
on you and your desires and yourpurpose and freaking going for
the stars. But it has to be coming from a
healed health the whole place orelse it's just another fast
track to burnout, obviously. We've seen this story right
(38:59):
itself over and over and over again that unhealed, ungrounded
people drink, dream big, go big,somehow attract the results, and
then burnout and even die in the.
Process, yes, it's like the I think it's called officially the
arrival fallacy. But the lie of ones once I do
this, then I'll be happy once I do this, then I'll be happy.
Once I do this, then I'll be happy.
And the truth is, your life happens everywhere in between.
(39:20):
Like big goals, big dream, big ideas.
Like amazing love that. But your life consists of the
way you feel on a Tuesday morning and the depths of your
relationships and like what you're thinking about when your
head hits the pillow every night.
And so there has to be this rooted, grounded intention
behind reaching for the stars. I totally agree.
(39:41):
Thank you. That was not a very good this or
that, but that's my. That was great, That was great,
that was great. I appreciate your heart.
I appreciate you as a human, as a woman, as someone who is on a
mission similar but in our very different ways.
If you don't follow Emily, make sure to follow Emily.
Let us know what you loved aboutthis episode.
Let us know what you learned. We're all over Instagram.
(40:03):
We'll be all over YouTube. And we'll have you back on the
show. Emily, thank you for being here.
Thank you for being who you are.Yeah.
Anything else you want to share while before we head out?
Man, that's like, that's like the hardest question.
Like what's the one piece of advice?
What is it? What's in your heart?
What's in your heart right now? What's in my heart right now?
I think that it is safe to be you.
(40:26):
It is safe to be the weird, the wild, the curious, the
emotional, the empathetic, the out there.
Like whatever it is, people are there and so much of the what
are they going to think that we drown in is completely
fabricated or not meant for you in the 1st place.
It's safe to come home to yourself and in fact, it's a
(40:48):
really beautiful place to be. Love that, love you.
Thank you. Love you.
Thank you, this was amazing. It was amazing.
All right, everyone, you heard it.
Be yourselves, love yourselves. This is real money because when
you change your relationship with money, you change
everything. We'll see you next time on REAL
MONEY and have a beautiful day everyone.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Male Room with Dr. Jesse Mills
As Director of The Men’s Clinic at UCLA, Dr. Jesse Mills has spent his career helping men understand their bodies, their hormones, and their health. Now he’s bringing that expertise to The Male Room — a podcast where data-driven medicine meets common sense. Each episode separates fact from hype, science from snake oil, and gives men the tools to live longer, stronger, and happier lives. With candor, humor, and real-world experience from the exam room and the operating room, Dr. Mills breaks down the latest health headlines, dissects trends, and explains what actually works — and what doesn’t. Smart, straightforward, and entertaining, The Male Room is the show that helps men take charge of their health without the jargon.