January 22, 2024 • 8 mins
In this special bonus episode Kathleen and Yasmin dive into a topic that touches the hearts of many retirees and those nearing this significant life chapter - the profound sense of loneliness that can accompany retirement.
We'll explore the concept of 'propinquity', a key to fostering closer relationships, and how it can be applied to enrich our retirement experience.
Join us as we discuss the importance of community, shared experiences, and the journey of transition into this new phase of life, offering insights and stories to guide and inspire. So, whether you're retired, planning for it, or supporting someone who is, this mini episode promises to be an enlightening and heartwarming journey into making the most of our retirement years.
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Real Retirement Video Podcast: Real Retirement - YouTube
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yasmin (00:08):
Hello and welcome to the Real Retirement Show.
My name is Yasmin.
Kathleen (00:13):
And I'm Kathleen.
Yasmin (00:15):
In this bonus episode, kathleen and I dive into a topic
that touches the hearts of manyretirees and those nearing this
significant life chapter.
That's the profound sense ofloneliness that can accompany
retirement.
We'll explore the concept ofpropinquity, a key to fostering
closer relationships, and how itcan be applied to enrich our
(00:38):
retirement experience.
Join us as we discuss theimportance of community shared
experience and the journey oftransition into this new phase
of life, offering insights andstories to guide and inspire.
So, whether you're retired,planning for it or supporting
someone who is, thismini-episode promises to be an
(00:59):
enlightening and heartwarmingjourney into making the most of
our retirement years.
Let's join our conversationRight now.
Whether you're retired or not,loneliness is a huge epidemic.
As connected as we are online,in many ways we're lacking that
intimacy, that support.
This year's focus is reallyabout bringing people together
(01:21):
to remind us that we're notalone, to share on this journey.
And there's this term that Irecently learned it's called
propinquity, and I hadn't heardabout it until literally last
week in a conversation with afriend of mine.
And propinquity is this conceptof closeness and intimacy in
relationships, and thatcloseness happens based on three
(01:45):
key factors, and this was aresearch project that was done
at MIT, where they discoveredthat those three factors are
first, frequency how often youconnect with someone.
Also, the affinity, which isthe things that you share in
common.
And the proximity.
(02:05):
Now our vision is, through thisshow, this podcast, as well as
our community experiences, thatwe bring people together.
Proximity, whether it bevirtually or in person,
frequently, on a regular basis,and to share these common
challenges that we face.
And our goal is to elevatewhat's called the propinquity
(02:27):
effect and that way we invitepeople to not feel alone but to
know that there's others thatare out there.
And whether you are goingthrough retirement yourself, or
maybe you know someone who is,or maybe a family member or a
loved one is going throughretirement, this opportunity is
for us to share that wisdom sothat we can support those around
(02:49):
us as well.
Kathleen (02:50):
What we want more than anything is we want to give you
practical guidance andemotional support for this
retirement journey, and having asense of community with shared
experiences.
Those are the things that arereally high on our priority list
, and we hope that they are onyours as well.
I was a business coach for 10years.
I remember one of the firstthing I would say to any of my
(03:13):
clients is why on earth wouldyou expect to have to do this
alone?
Especially as an entrepreneur,you need someone to help you
guide the way, and that's reallywhat retirees are.
They're kind of likeentrepreneurs that are entering
into this world that they'venever done before, they've never
been there.
They shouldn't do it themselvesand they don't have to.
We are going to offer communityworkshops so that people with
(03:38):
like-minded interest in certaintopics can get together and have
a conversation, and, of course,the experts that we bring in
along the way will certainlyhighlight some of these, but
it's time to listen, process andengage in our community.
Yasmin (03:56):
You're spot on, Kathleen .
Kathleen (03:58):
And I just want to take a second here and share my
transition, if you will.
One of the things that I did inmy transition was to prepare
two years in advance.
I knew that it would take atleast two years to sell my
businesses and in fact I wasspot on, except COVID got in the
way.
So if you take COVID out of thepicture, I'm spot on.
(04:20):
But in that planning I decidedwhere do I want to live?
How do I want to live?
Do I want to have an excitinglife again?
Do I want to write another book?
Who do I want this next journeyto look like?
So, as I kind of documented inmy mind, saying yes to
everything and deciding did thatreally bring me joy?
(04:41):
Those are the things that shapeour experience for the future,
and I think that when we realizeall of the ups and downs that
we've had in our life reallypositions us to have the
knowledge and the background ofwhat we don't want Just as much
as not knowing what we do want.
(05:01):
We have to single out what wedon't want, and I think that
I've always believed thatrelationships have a life
expectancy and so trying to holdon to friendships that really
have expired.
I'm going to just say it thatway is critical for your next
step, because you have to openyour life to new experiences and
(05:26):
I really think that what youhave done provides you for what
you will do.
Yasmin (05:33):
Wow, that letting go piece is so important, not only
at this stage but any stage inour life, that letting go of the
past, the attachment.
Well, kathleen, I remember yousharing that when you officially
stepped into retirement, youwere saying yes to everything.
Tell me a little bit more aboutwhat that was like and what
that was about.
Kathleen (05:51):
Thanks Yasmin for remembering that.
Not only did I sell mybusinesses, I had five
franchises.
I sold those, I built a newhome through COVID and then I
moved to a new city.
So in doing all that I didn'tknow anyone and I was trying to
make new acquaintances and therewere new opportunities that
(06:11):
came my way and I just said yesto everything because I was
committed to find what's fit and, to be perfectly honest,
there's a lot of things I wouldnever do again, but I did them
and it was a good experience.
I met a lot of people and Ithink that if it's all about
mindset, you have to be positive, you have to be outgoing.
(06:32):
It's kind of like networkingand business all over again.
You just have to network inyour new life.
Yasmin (06:39):
What has life been like since this past year?
Kathleen (06:43):
There were highs and there were lows.
There was excitement, there wasa lot of joy, there was a lot
of indecision and I'm typicallynot an indecisive person but
when you're trying to go a newpath, there's lots of options
and sometimes when you see afork in the road, you're not
really sure which way to go,because you don't know where
that takes you.
And actually I think that's oneof the reasons that we decided
(07:06):
to continue with this project,because if you are traveling a
path that you've never gone down, it would be wonderful to have
some advice from people who havegone before you, and I found
that there wasn't much of thatin my world, so it did have kind
of a rocky stop and start, butmy life is good.
(07:27):
I love my life.
Yasmin (07:29):
Kathleen, you've always been an inspiration to me, both
from a career perspective andthen also now as you are
transitioning, or have beentransitioning into retirement.
Kathleen (07:38):
Yasmin, I'm just so, so thrilled that you invited me
on this journey with you.
Well, to all of those peoplewho are out there, planning it,
thinking of it, living it, havea wonderful journey and we'll
see you next time.
Remember, if you're on YouTube,subscribe.
It's important for us to get toin the tribe.
We want to see as many people,and then, of course, we'll be
(08:00):
able to communicate moreeffectively with you and answer
your questions and plan for someof the topics that you're
interested in.
Yasmin (08:08):
Awesome.
Well, we'll include all thelinks in our show notes for you,
and in the meantime, may joy bewith you, have a joyful
retirement journey, and we lookforward to connecting with you
again next week.
Kathleen (08:20):
Next week.
Yasmin (08:22):
Take care, bye-bye.
Hello and welcome to the Real Retirement Show.
My name is Yasmin.
Kathleen (00:13):
And I'm Kathleen.
Yasmin (00:15):
In this bonus episode, kathleen and I dive into a topic
that touches the hearts of manyretirees and those nearing this
significant life chapter.
That's the profound sense ofloneliness that can accompany
retirement.
We'll explore the concept ofpropinquity, a key to fostering
closer relationships, and how itcan be applied to enrich our
(00:38):
retirement experience.
Join us as we discuss theimportance of community shared
experience and the journey oftransition into this new phase
of life, offering insights andstories to guide and inspire.
So, whether you're retired,planning for it or supporting
someone who is, thismini-episode promises to be an
(00:59):
enlightening and heartwarmingjourney into making the most of
our retirement years.
Let's join our conversationRight now.
Whether you're retired or not,loneliness is a huge epidemic.
As connected as we are online,in many ways we're lacking that
intimacy, that support.
This year's focus is reallyabout bringing people together
(01:21):
to remind us that we're notalone, to share on this journey.
And there's this term that Irecently learned it's called
propinquity, and I hadn't heardabout it until literally last
week in a conversation with afriend of mine.
And propinquity is this conceptof closeness and intimacy in
relationships, and thatcloseness happens based on three
(01:45):
key factors, and this was aresearch project that was done
at MIT, where they discoveredthat those three factors are
first, frequency how often youconnect with someone.
Also, the affinity, which isthe things that you share in
common.
And the proximity.
(02:05):
Now our vision is, through thisshow, this podcast, as well as
our community experiences, thatwe bring people together.
Proximity, whether it bevirtually or in person,
frequently, on a regular basis,and to share these common
challenges that we face.
And our goal is to elevatewhat's called the propinquity
(02:27):
effect and that way we invitepeople to not feel alone but to
know that there's others thatare out there.
And whether you are goingthrough retirement yourself, or
maybe you know someone who is,or maybe a family member or a
loved one is going throughretirement, this opportunity is
for us to share that wisdom sothat we can support those around
(02:49):
us as well.
Kathleen (02:50):
What we want more than anything is we want to give you
practical guidance andemotional support for this
retirement journey, and having asense of community with shared
experiences.
Those are the things that arereally high on our priority list
, and we hope that they are onyours as well.
I was a business coach for 10years.
I remember one of the firstthing I would say to any of my
(03:13):
clients is why on earth wouldyou expect to have to do this
alone?
Especially as an entrepreneur,you need someone to help you
guide the way, and that's reallywhat retirees are.
They're kind of likeentrepreneurs that are entering
into this world that they'venever done before, they've never
been there.
They shouldn't do it themselvesand they don't have to.
We are going to offer communityworkshops so that people with
(03:38):
like-minded interest in certaintopics can get together and have
a conversation, and, of course,the experts that we bring in
along the way will certainlyhighlight some of these, but
it's time to listen, process andengage in our community.
Yasmin (03:56):
You're spot on, Kathleen .
Kathleen (03:58):
And I just want to take a second here and share my
transition, if you will.
One of the things that I did inmy transition was to prepare
two years in advance.
I knew that it would take atleast two years to sell my
businesses and in fact I wasspot on, except COVID got in the
way.
So if you take COVID out of thepicture, I'm spot on.
(04:20):
But in that planning I decidedwhere do I want to live?
How do I want to live?
Do I want to have an excitinglife again?
Do I want to write another book?
Who do I want this next journeyto look like?
So, as I kind of documented inmy mind, saying yes to
everything and deciding did thatreally bring me joy?
(04:41):
Those are the things that shapeour experience for the future,
and I think that when we realizeall of the ups and downs that
we've had in our life reallypositions us to have the
knowledge and the background ofwhat we don't want Just as much
as not knowing what we do want.
(05:01):
We have to single out what wedon't want, and I think that
I've always believed thatrelationships have a life
expectancy and so trying to holdon to friendships that really
have expired.
I'm going to just say it thatway is critical for your next
step, because you have to openyour life to new experiences and
(05:26):
I really think that what youhave done provides you for what
you will do.
Yasmin (05:33):
Wow, that letting go piece is so important, not only
at this stage but any stage inour life, that letting go of the
past, the attachment.
Well, kathleen, I remember yousharing that when you officially
stepped into retirement, youwere saying yes to everything.
Tell me a little bit more aboutwhat that was like and what
that was about.
Kathleen (05:51):
Thanks Yasmin for remembering that.
Not only did I sell mybusinesses, I had five
franchises.
I sold those, I built a newhome through COVID and then I
moved to a new city.
So in doing all that I didn'tknow anyone and I was trying to
make new acquaintances and therewere new opportunities that
(06:11):
came my way and I just said yesto everything because I was
committed to find what's fit and, to be perfectly honest,
there's a lot of things I wouldnever do again, but I did them
and it was a good experience.
I met a lot of people and Ithink that if it's all about
mindset, you have to be positive, you have to be outgoing.
(06:32):
It's kind of like networkingand business all over again.
You just have to network inyour new life.
Yasmin (06:39):
What has life been like since this past year?
Kathleen (06:43):
There were highs and there were lows.
There was excitement, there wasa lot of joy, there was a lot
of indecision and I'm typicallynot an indecisive person but
when you're trying to go a newpath, there's lots of options
and sometimes when you see afork in the road, you're not
really sure which way to go,because you don't know where
that takes you.
And actually I think that's oneof the reasons that we decided
(07:06):
to continue with this project,because if you are traveling a
path that you've never gone down, it would be wonderful to have
some advice from people who havegone before you, and I found
that there wasn't much of thatin my world, so it did have kind
of a rocky stop and start, butmy life is good.
(07:27):
I love my life.
Yasmin (07:29):
Kathleen, you've always been an inspiration to me, both
from a career perspective andthen also now as you are
transitioning, or have beentransitioning into retirement.
Kathleen (07:38):
Yasmin, I'm just so, so thrilled that you invited me
on this journey with you.
Well, to all of those peoplewho are out there, planning it,
thinking of it, living it, havea wonderful journey and we'll
see you next time.
Remember, if you're on YouTube,subscribe.
It's important for us to get toin the tribe.
We want to see as many people,and then, of course, we'll be
(08:00):
able to communicate moreeffectively with you and answer
your questions and plan for someof the topics that you're
interested in.
Yasmin (08:08):
Awesome.
Well, we'll include all thelinks in our show notes for you,
and in the meantime, may joy bewith you, have a joyful
retirement journey, and we lookforward to connecting with you
again next week.
Kathleen (08:20):
Next week.
Yasmin (08:22):
Take care, bye-bye.
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