January 22, 2024 • 27 mins
Embarking on the journey into retirement can stir a whirlwind of emotions—excitement, apprehension, and a poignant curiosity about what life has in store beyond the nine-to-five grind. Kathleen and Yasmin welcome you to a candid conversation that delves into the heart of these feelings, examining the search for purpose and the significance of intentional living in crafting a retirement filled with connection and joy. We share our personal stories, opening up about the complexities of bidding farewell to long-held careers and the unexpected emotional terrain that often lies hidden beneath the surface of this major life transition.
With an inviting array of experts, like grief counselors and relationship coaches, we tackle topics that extend far beyond financial preparedness, addressing the impact of retirement on health, relationships, and family dynamics. We unveil our bespoke wellness assessment tool and anticipate the launch of our resource center, which promises to be an invaluable compass in navigating the multifaceted landscape of retirement. Join us as we create a community of support, providing you with curated resources to embrace this next chapter with ease, purpose, and a sense of shared experience.
Retirement Readiness Assessment: www.retirescores.com/ready
Retirement Well-being Assessment: www.retirescores.com
Real Retirement Video Podcast: Real Retirement - YouTube
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yasmin (00:08):
Hello and welcome to the real retirement show.
My name is Yasmin.
Kathleen (00:14):
And I'm Kathleen and oh my god, we're going to have
little blips in this and it'sgoing to be fun.
Yasmin (00:19):
Today we're diving into the heart of retirement, sharing
our personal stories andshedding light on the unexpected
emotional journey that comeswith stepping away from a
structured career, whetheryou're gearing up to retire or
you're in the thick of it, orhelping someone close to you
through their retirement journey.
We're here to explore, laughand even shed a few tears as we
(00:42):
tackle everything retirementthrows our way.
So grab a comfy seat and let'sget the conversation started.
Can you believe that we're herealready, kathleen?
Kathleen (00:52):
It seems like it's been longer than a year, but it
definitely has flown by.
Yasmin (00:57):
I can't believe that it was almost around this time last
year when I was on a call withyou and I said hey, Kathleen, I
think I have an idea that I'dlike for us to explore.
And here we are 365 days later,we're here starting this
podcast and inviting you all tojoin us.
Kathleen (01:16):
You know what, yasmin?
You've remembered that duringthat period I retired,
officially retired.
I had approached my daughterand said I think I want to do a
podcast because fairly dynamicchanges and she's obviously a
different generation.
So I thought that'd be fun.
You and I talked a little bitabout that, but of course my
daughter backed out when youbrought this project to the
(01:38):
forefront.
I thought, wow, absolutely,because I retired the end of
September.
But in December I was thinking,oh my God, what now?
I'm always been upbeat, but allof a sudden I was feeling a
little depressed and I realizedothers were as well.
So this was a whole new purposeand thank God for it.
(02:00):
No, thank you for it, and I'mloving the process and I think
that a lot of I know that a lotof people will have that same
kind of revitalization when theystart listening and becoming
engaged in our community.
Yasmin (02:14):
Kathleen, who is this podcast for?
Kathleen (02:17):
Oh, wow, this podcast is for anyone lucky enough to be
thinking about planning orexperiencing retirement.
You know, my dad always had asaying he always thought he
wanted to be on the right sideof the grass.
I mean, that sounds very odd,you know, and at the time I
(02:40):
thought, oh my God, dad, please.
But my mom passed away when shewas 48 years old and so she
didn't ever get a chance toexperience retirement process.
And unfortunately, my fatherpassed away when he was 72.
Oh my God, I'm 72.
Well, I'm going to outlive bothof them, except the picture.
(03:02):
That's a good thing, but hedidn't have a lot of retirement
years.
And when I think about it, Ithink it's really important for
anyone who is going to be luckyenough to think about it, plan
for it or experience retirement.
It doesn't matter whether it'syou.
You have a parent who is goingthrough it, so you're helping
(03:24):
with the planning.
So that's who I think this isfor, in a sense, everybody.
Yasmin (03:29):
I think the word that we may be exploring is those who
are intentional about thisretirement journey, those that
are taking proactive approachand they're not just reacting to
all of the zingers and all theunexpected things that happen.
And so anyone that is reallyintentional about this next
(03:49):
chapter, this journey, as you'regoing on it, and then also
those who are really wantingmore meaning, more peace of mind
and perhaps deeper connectionduring this day, and perhaps
those that are maybe feeling abit lost or alone could really
find value in this particularpodcast.
And even those that are livinga joyful retirement, that want
(04:11):
to inspire others to what'spossible, and, whether you're a
business professional or workingwith clients and others that
may be retiring or working withseniors, this would be a great
resource for them to be able toshare with them a gift of a
conversation, maybe somethingthat they were afraid to ask or
(04:32):
afraid to talk about.
Now we have a way for them toexplore.
Kathleen, you've always been aninspiration to me, both from a
career perspective and then alsonow, as you are transitioning
or have been transitioning intoretirement, and you're about
what you got about 20 years onme, but I feel like I'm right
there, right by your heels hereon this journey.
Kathleen (04:53):
Actually.
Come on, Yasmin, it's not 20.
Yasmin (04:56):
Is it not 22.
22.
Okay, you know what Two yearscan really make a difference as
well.
Kathleen (05:04):
Two years makes all the difference in the world when
you're learning things.
Yasmin (05:07):
Absolutely.
It's interesting.
This past year, we have done somuch talking to people,
research, I think.
We've watched hundreds of hoursof YouTube videos, listened to
podcasts, read books, attendedevents and even formed an online
community to get our armsaround the depth and the breadth
(05:28):
of this topic, but also thejourney, and, like you said,
kathleen, everyone's journey isdifferent.
That's what we've realized.
And then, along the way, thereis a lot of information, but
it's not always accessible.
That's been another challenge.
And then also, many people havebeen preparing financially for
retirement, but the journey isso much more than that, and so
(05:52):
there's this sense of what'snext, now that I've got my
finances in order I've got thatin the process that what do I do
now as things come up?
So those are some of the thingsthat we discovered on our
research.
Kathleen (06:05):
Everything that we've done has provided us with the
knowledge we needed to be herenow helping others through this
transition.
Yasmin (06:13):
Speaking of retirement, I'm sure our listeners and our
audience are curious, like whatinspired us to focus on this, to
specifically this particulartopic retirement.
Kathleen (06:24):
For me, it was that point in my life.
I retired for three months andI thought, okay, this is not fun
.
And because depression wascoming on.
And then, when we started doingsome research to realize that
10,000 people a day retire inNorth America like that's
staggering.
The stats on depression one inthree listen, one in three will
(06:50):
have clinical depression.
Now, many people have hugechallenges throughout their
careers with depression as well.
I'm not suggesting that Iminimize that, but it struck me
surprisingly that the statisticswould be so high.
And then, of course, I feeldesperate to help men.
I know that sounds really weird, but the highest rate of
(07:14):
suicide for men is 75 plus.
What does that tell you?
And also the society, theapproach to societal norms about
retirement, that question.
So what are you doing now thatyou've retired?
Well, first of all, why do Ihave to do anything?
(07:34):
And I'm trying to figure it out.
So those are the reasons that Ithink really attracted me to
this whole project because youcan't do it yourself.
I was a business coach for 10years.
I remember one of the firstthing I would say to any of my
clients is why on earth wouldyou expect to have to do this
(07:55):
alone.
Especially as an entrepreneur,you need someone to help you
guide the way, and that's reallywhat retirees are.
They're kind of likeentrepreneurs that are entering
into this world that they'venever done before, they've never
been there.
They shouldn't do it themselvesand they don't have to.
Yasmin (08:12):
Yeah, you're spot on, kathleen.
And when we think aboutretirement, I remember a friend
and business colleague that Iworked with.
He is approaching 80 right nowand he refused to retire because
the thought of retirement hewould always say I'm not ready
to be put out to pasture.
It's this idea of you become nolonger relevant or meaningful,
(08:36):
and I think that's part of whatdrives the stress, the anxiety,
the depression is that there's aseries of different losses that
happen.
Dr Riley Moyan, who did a TEDTalk on this, said that there
are five different losses thathappen during this transition.
There's this loss of routineYou're no longer going to the
office, no longer taking onresponsibilities, you're not
(08:59):
waking up at a certain time.
Then there's a loss of identitywho am I If I am no longer the
vice president of so-and-so, orthe owner of this or whatever it
is?
How do I introduce myself?
Who am I?
And then there's this loss ofvarious different relationships
as well Relationships with yourwork colleagues and other
professionals that you're nolonger getting in contact with.
(09:22):
And then, along with that, youget a sense of a loss of purpose
.
What am I supposed to do?
Why am I even here?
Things that people get asked,and then the final thing is
you're also losing power.
Perhaps in your professionalcareer you had influence, you
had others that report to you,and now maybe it's just yourself
(09:43):
or your partner, and the powerdynamics change too.
So I think those, along withhealth decline and relationship
dynamics, family dynamics, allof these play a role in the next
step that we're just notprepared for.
Kathleen (09:58):
You know, one of the things, jasmine, that came to
mind you and I talk brieflyabout this one day is preparing
yourself for a change in yourhealth, and how do I navigate
that?
Our health system in NorthAmerica is, I'm going to say, a
little bit broken in that,unless you're going to go into
private, but I'm in Canada, sowe have a different kind of
(10:19):
healthcare here, and when youare faced with what could be a
catastrophic disease and you'regoing in for tests and then two
weeks later you might get theresult, that anxiety period for
two weeks can just alter yourlife and change your mindset for
(10:41):
a very, very long time, and Ithink that preparing yourself
for changes in health is a vital, important aspect.
That's going to be a topic thatwe deal with later, but I just
want to mention some of thethings that we're going to be
dealing with as far as ourfuture.
In our series we're going todeal with all kinds of things
with mental health as well.
(11:03):
As I said, we understand anddiscovered how vitally important
that is, and we want people tohave an understanding that
well-being, whether it be mentalhealth or physical health, is
really important to us, and I'mgoing to brag a little bit here.
We've got about 175 differenttopics and conversations that
(11:24):
are going to take place over thenext year, so there's going to
be one that you can really sayokay, that's my story, I can
relate to that, this is what Ineed, this is how I'm going to
find it.
So, all of those challengesthat you're facing, you don't
have to do it alone, becausewe've got someone in our
community that has been thereand will help.
(11:46):
You may not hold your hand, butcertainly they'll be there to
answer some questions.
Yasmin (11:51):
We invite people to not feel alone, but to know that
there's others that are outthere, and whether you are going
through retirement yourself, ormaybe you know someone who is,
or maybe a family member or aloved one is going through
retirement, this opportunity isfor us to share that wisdom so
that we can support those aroundus.
Kathleen (12:13):
You know I did mention that we're going to have
experts and I'm just going tokind of step back a little bit.
When I say experts, I'm talkingabout people who deal with
these things all the time.
We want to have peopleproviding advice that are living
it.
So we'll have grief experts,because grief doesn't take place
(12:35):
only with a loss.
I had a friend reach out theother day.
This broke my heart.
My friend just lost her longtime lost interior, devastating,
you know such a loss.
So she's going through griefright now and in fact the whole
family is.
So it's not just that you'velost a parent or a sister or
(12:59):
brother God forbid a child butanimals are so important in your
life.
The loss of one can reallyovertake you for a few days or
weeks or months.
And we have relationshipcoaches because unfortunately
sometimes when people retirethey discover that the
(13:20):
commonalities aren't there andit's shocking but there's a lot
of divorce that takes place oncepeople retire.
And then we'll also haveprofessional tour guide tell us
what it's like to go off andfind a new journey, and it's
wonderful to see how peoplechange their direction in life
(13:41):
and find new purpose and bringassistance to others in the
process.
So that's just a couple of theexperts.
If you will, that we've gotlined up.
Yasmin, maybe you can introducesome of the key topics that
we're talking about, in additionto the ones that I spoke about
before.
Yasmin (13:58):
A lot of these topics have come from feedback that
we've gotten from variousdifferent people, as well as our
research.
Some of the key ones, like howdo you find that spark back into
your relationship, especiallyat this age?
And also how do you communicatewith your partner?
Spending decades in ourprofessional careers, all of a
sudden we're spending lots oftime with each other, and so how
(14:20):
do you navigate some of thosedifferent dynamics?
There's also navigating thejourney of caregiving.
Many of us have elderly parentsthat are going through various
different health challenges, andso what are the emotional and
other roles that we need to bemindful of?
And then also, how do you stayactive?
(14:41):
Mobility, activity are such animportant piece of our physical
health during this stage, sowe'll be able to explore what
ways to retain that mobility.
And then also, one of thequestions that many people ask
is who am I now that I'veretired?
How do I rediscover my talents,my passion, my purpose, many
(15:04):
things that many of us perhapsput on the shelf as we focus on
our families and careers, mostof our lives, and also limiting
beliefs, things that get in theway of our joy, things that we
believe may not be possible,that prevents us from having a
joyful retirement.
So those are just a few, but,boy, we have so many different
(15:25):
topics and we're continuing toexplore topics that you're
interested in.
Kathleen (15:29):
Do you remember when we had our very first focus
group and we spoke to people whohad a varying degree of I don't
want to say disagreement, butvarious opinions on what they
felt retirement should be?
And I remember one person whoshared with us that retirement
(15:51):
hadn't come joyfully to herbecause it was an early downsize
and in her career she had totake on a whole new role and she
dove into well-being andanything that would increase her
longevity.
And because she was so youngand I think now my gosh, I see
(16:15):
her she walks six K a day.
But it was so different fromsomeone else who had prevented
travel because of health, so herhealth had been diminished, she
hadn't taken those self-caresteps that she should have and
had bone density tests taken andended up fracturing a bone
(16:36):
while on vacation.
So it was so interesting to seethe differences between the
mindset of people who, quitefrankly, were very similar in
age and their backgrounds weresimilar but they are approached
to retire so completelydifferent.
Yasmin (16:53):
It was interesting.
It felt like people were justWaiting for an opportunity to
talk about some of these topicsthat so many people have been
Holding in trying to figure out.
I'm struggling and realizingthat I'm in a room with others
that are experiencing the samething and Others who might have
some ideas, and I have somesomething to share as well, so
(17:15):
it was such a refreshingOpportunity to bring people
together and have theseconversations.
Kathleen (17:21):
We called it a focus group.
It really wasn't what a focusgroup is traditionally formatted
, as this was a conversation wasa small group of people who
were determined to share theirexperience, and In doing so, I
think we gleaned a lot ofinformation from that the
information Oftentimes arereally hard to find, other than
(17:42):
everyone knows that, oh, it'sheavy on finances.
That's really what every personwho talks about retirement Well
, I shouldn't say that, notevery person, but many people
who speak about retirement arespecifically Focused on Finances
, and there's nothing wrong withthat, because God knows that if
you don't have your finances inplace, your retirement can Take
(18:07):
a slower path than expected.
You know what thing he asked methat?
I think that I'm gonna Kind oftake a step back, because I I
apologize we have a wellnessassessment that is absolutely
available to anybody who wouldlike to try and see where they
(18:27):
fit in.
What, how many, 10 categoriesand category yes, and you get
scored on each category and ithelps you highlight what maybe
needs to be augmented a littlebit or, if you choose, and then
it'll have a link to ourresource center, which is soon
(18:48):
to be released, and that willoffer you access to a myriad of
articles, podcasts, such as this, and a lot of other information
.
So I encourage everyone to takethat assessment and we'll
actually put that in the link sothat it's an easy thing to do.
(19:09):
It takes about five or sixminutes, but, oh my god, is it
on point and it.
You uncover Sometimessurprisingly so things that you
thought, okay, I've got thatcovered, I'm really good in this
.
You'll be surprised and I thinkthat it you'll be delighted as
well, and it's interesting whenyou have a couple.
If they both take it, it's notalways in sync, so sometimes you
(19:34):
get strength from those who aredifferent and it's nice to see
that.
That's an opportunity for youas a couple to experience.
Yasmin (19:42):
Yeah, that's so powerful , kathleen.
When we think about growing up,going to school, there's a
roadmap for that.
You make it through gradeschool and then you go to
college and then you have youget married, you have kids, you
have your career.
Everything's got a roadmap toit.
But when you step intoretirement, it's like this
uncharted territory, and thisassessment tool is our way of
(20:05):
helping provide some guidanceand, in many ways, even a
roadmap, where, whether you'reretired, you're checking to see
if you're ready for retirement,not just financially but in all
the other categories or whetheryou've already stepped into
retirement.
You want to check in and seehow well you're doing.
We developed both the readinessassessment as well as the
well-being assessment.
(20:26):
That isn't a judgment, but it'sa way to get some clarity as to
how am I doing on my familydynamics, how am I doing on my
purpose, how am I doing on mymental and emotional well-being,
and this provides that guidance, provides a roadmap as to where
to focus.
And as we focus on thesedifferent areas now, we're also
(20:48):
discovering what are the otherquestions that come up?
What are other peopleexperiencing?
Who can I connect with to getsupport?
And that's part of our missionis to really not only provide
the resources, but provide theclarity and the community, so
that you don't have to go onthis journey by yourself and
that to know that your unique,individual journey is valued.
(21:10):
It's not this one prescriptionwhere everybody has the same
journey.
So we invite you to takeadvantage of this tool, this
assessment tool, to at leastgive you a roadmap as to what's
ahead and where you want tofocus on.
Kathleen (21:22):
You know, yasmin, I'm so glad that you were detailed
in that.
That's the nice thing aboutYasmin and I.
We're complimentary in thathe's a detailed guy, which I
love, and I'm kind of an idea.
Put it out there, let's get itdone, girl.
One of the things I do want tojust point out to you what our
purpose has been is to be aconduit for you.
(21:43):
We have collected all of thisresource material not because
we're genius, but because weknow it's important.
It took hours and hours andhours and hours to find this,
and so, instead of you having tolook and search and go down
those rabbit holes that we'vemissed on, we have gleamed all
of the information that webelieve, based on our
(22:04):
interviewing and based on ourfocus groups, that you deserve
to have available, easy andaccessible, and that's what our
whole community is all about.
We want to make life easier foryou.
We want to make it more joyfulfor you.
We want you to have fun forhaving sex.
This is a serious time in yourlife, for sure I get it.
(22:27):
You know some people saying therunway is right there.
We want that runway to be thebest runway you've ever had.
Yasmin (22:34):
It certainly is.
And you said the J word, joy.
It's right there, joy, and partof creating a joyful chapter of
our lives is to be a part of itwith others as well.
We are excited to invite you todo this together with us and to
be together.
Any other final thoughts,kathleen?
Kathleen (22:56):
First of all, this whole process was exciting.
My husband said are you nervous?
I said why I'm talking tofriends for having sex, why
would I be nervous?
But I think that it can be alittle intimidating when you go
to share something.
So we encourage you to give ita try.
You know, if it doesn't workthe first time with the first
(23:16):
person, try someone else.
I am 100% sure that this isgoing to make a huge change in
many people's lives.
Find us, share us, give us toyour friends, to your neighbors.
Make sure that anyone in yourcircle, in your tribe, knows
(23:37):
that you found something thatyou believe is valuable.
Well, we know it's valuable,but we want you to take and
share this with all of yourfriends and join in the
discussions and submit yourquestions and your stories.
We love to hear them.
Yasmin (23:55):
It's realretirementshowcom, and this
show will be available on allthe different podcast platforms,
whether you're on Spotify,Apple podcast or any of the
other podcast shows, and thenalso on YouTube.
So if you want to actually seeus, then we also have a link to
our YouTube channel as well.
(24:15):
This is a show that we areexcited to share with you on a
weekly basis and bring realpeople, real stories, real
heartbreaks, real joy and realsolutions too.
That's why we called it realretirement because we want to
give you the real deal.
Kathleen (24:33):
The real deal for sure , and we hope that you
appreciate what we've done.
We hope that you enjoy whatyou're going to be receiving,
and joy is part of the process.
Yasmin (24:46):
Wow, thank you, kathleen .
I got to be really honest heretoo.
I've been nervous, and it'sinteresting.
I'm nervous because there'sthis sort of well, I've got to
say the right thing or toperform, and all that.
The reality is that you and Ihave had conversations literally
almost every single week forthe past year, and the richness
(25:07):
in which we've been able toexplore the conversations just
from hey, guess what happenedtoday?
Or wow, kathleen, I'mexperiencing this those were the
real moments that I felt somuch gratitude and joy that I
got a chance to be able to shareand explore and learn and
Kathleen's a professional nudgertoo, so she likes to nudge me
(25:31):
out of my comfort zone but Iremember all of these
conversations.
What if others got a chance towitness those with us?
And so if we kind of felt alittle bit I don't know stiff in
this first episode, know thatmaybe it's still so snared, but
we're going to invite you tocome back and to share the real
(25:52):
connection that we have, notonly with each other, but also
with our guests and with othersthat are going to be a part of
our community as well too, andso I just want to leave it at
that.
Let's just keep it real andjust chill out and let's have a
good time together.
Kathleen (26:08):
Yeah, we are organic, there's no question.
Scripting is not us, but welove to hear from all of you and
, yasmin, I'm just so, sothrilled that you invited me on
this journey with you and, quitefrankly, it's kind of a good
thing that my daughter and Ididn't do the podcast.
Yasmin (26:26):
Well, you know, everything has its time, and
perhaps we can have her on theshow as well and talk about what
it's like to have a mom that'sretired there.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
Kathleen (26:40):
Well, to all of those people who are out there
planning it, thinking of it,living it, have a wonderful
journey and we'll see you nexttime.
Remember, if you're on YouTube,subscribe.
It's important for us to get toin the tribe.
We want to see as many peopleand then, of course, we'll be
able to communicate moreeffectively with you and answer
your questions and plan for someof the topics that you're
(27:03):
interested in.
Awesome.
Yasmin (27:06):
Well, we'll include all the links in our show notes for
you, and in the meantime, mayjoy be with you, have a joyful
retirement journey, and we lookforward to connecting with you
again next week.
Kathleen (27:17):
Next week.
Yasmin (27:19):
Take care.
Hello and welcome to the real retirement show.
My name is Yasmin.
Kathleen (00:14):
And I'm Kathleen and oh my god, we're going to have
little blips in this and it'sgoing to be fun.
Yasmin (00:19):
Today we're diving into the heart of retirement, sharing
our personal stories andshedding light on the unexpected
emotional journey that comeswith stepping away from a
structured career, whetheryou're gearing up to retire or
you're in the thick of it, orhelping someone close to you
through their retirement journey.
We're here to explore, laughand even shed a few tears as we
(00:42):
tackle everything retirementthrows our way.
So grab a comfy seat and let'sget the conversation started.
Can you believe that we're herealready, kathleen?
Kathleen (00:52):
It seems like it's been longer than a year, but it
definitely has flown by.
Yasmin (00:57):
I can't believe that it was almost around this time last
year when I was on a call withyou and I said hey, Kathleen, I
think I have an idea that I'dlike for us to explore.
And here we are 365 days later,we're here starting this
podcast and inviting you all tojoin us.
Kathleen (01:16):
You know what, yasmin?
You've remembered that duringthat period I retired,
officially retired.
I had approached my daughterand said I think I want to do a
podcast because fairly dynamicchanges and she's obviously a
different generation.
So I thought that'd be fun.
You and I talked a little bitabout that, but of course my
daughter backed out when youbrought this project to the
(01:38):
forefront.
I thought, wow, absolutely,because I retired the end of
September.
But in December I was thinking,oh my God, what now?
I'm always been upbeat, but allof a sudden I was feeling a
little depressed and I realizedothers were as well.
So this was a whole new purposeand thank God for it.
(02:00):
No, thank you for it, and I'mloving the process and I think
that a lot of I know that a lotof people will have that same
kind of revitalization when theystart listening and becoming
engaged in our community.
Yasmin (02:14):
Kathleen, who is this podcast for?
Kathleen (02:17):
Oh, wow, this podcast is for anyone lucky enough to be
thinking about planning orexperiencing retirement.
You know, my dad always had asaying he always thought he
wanted to be on the right sideof the grass.
I mean, that sounds very odd,you know, and at the time I
(02:40):
thought, oh my God, dad, please.
But my mom passed away when shewas 48 years old and so she
didn't ever get a chance toexperience retirement process.
And unfortunately, my fatherpassed away when he was 72.
Oh my God, I'm 72.
Well, I'm going to outlive bothof them, except the picture.
(03:02):
That's a good thing, but hedidn't have a lot of retirement
years.
And when I think about it, Ithink it's really important for
anyone who is going to be luckyenough to think about it, plan
for it or experience retirement.
It doesn't matter whether it'syou.
You have a parent who is goingthrough it, so you're helping
(03:24):
with the planning.
So that's who I think this isfor, in a sense, everybody.
Yasmin (03:29):
I think the word that we may be exploring is those who
are intentional about thisretirement journey, those that
are taking proactive approachand they're not just reacting to
all of the zingers and all theunexpected things that happen.
And so anyone that is reallyintentional about this next
(03:49):
chapter, this journey, as you'regoing on it, and then also
those who are really wantingmore meaning, more peace of mind
and perhaps deeper connectionduring this day, and perhaps
those that are maybe feeling abit lost or alone could really
find value in this particularpodcast.
And even those that are livinga joyful retirement, that want
(04:11):
to inspire others to what'spossible, and, whether you're a
business professional or workingwith clients and others that
may be retiring or working withseniors, this would be a great
resource for them to be able toshare with them a gift of a
conversation, maybe somethingthat they were afraid to ask or
(04:32):
afraid to talk about.
Now we have a way for them toexplore.
Kathleen, you've always been aninspiration to me, both from a
career perspective and then alsonow, as you are transitioning
or have been transitioning intoretirement, and you're about
what you got about 20 years onme, but I feel like I'm right
there, right by your heels hereon this journey.
Kathleen (04:53):
Actually.
Come on, Yasmin, it's not 20.
Yasmin (04:56):
Is it not 22.
22.
Okay, you know what Two yearscan really make a difference as
well.
Kathleen (05:04):
Two years makes all the difference in the world when
you're learning things.
Yasmin (05:07):
Absolutely.
It's interesting.
This past year, we have done somuch talking to people,
research, I think.
We've watched hundreds of hoursof YouTube videos, listened to
podcasts, read books, attendedevents and even formed an online
community to get our armsaround the depth and the breadth
(05:28):
of this topic, but also thejourney, and, like you said,
kathleen, everyone's journey isdifferent.
That's what we've realized.
And then, along the way, thereis a lot of information, but
it's not always accessible.
That's been another challenge.
And then also, many people havebeen preparing financially for
retirement, but the journey isso much more than that, and so
(05:52):
there's this sense of what'snext, now that I've got my
finances in order I've got thatin the process that what do I do
now as things come up?
So those are some of the thingsthat we discovered on our
research.
Kathleen (06:05):
Everything that we've done has provided us with the
knowledge we needed to be herenow helping others through this
transition.
Yasmin (06:13):
Speaking of retirement, I'm sure our listeners and our
audience are curious, like whatinspired us to focus on this, to
specifically this particulartopic retirement.
Kathleen (06:24):
For me, it was that point in my life.
I retired for three months andI thought, okay, this is not fun
.
And because depression wascoming on.
And then, when we started doingsome research to realize that
10,000 people a day retire inNorth America like that's
staggering.
The stats on depression one inthree listen, one in three will
(06:50):
have clinical depression.
Now, many people have hugechallenges throughout their
careers with depression as well.
I'm not suggesting that Iminimize that, but it struck me
surprisingly that the statisticswould be so high.
And then, of course, I feeldesperate to help men.
I know that sounds really weird, but the highest rate of
(07:14):
suicide for men is 75 plus.
What does that tell you?
And also the society, theapproach to societal norms about
retirement, that question.
So what are you doing now thatyou've retired?
Well, first of all, why do Ihave to do anything?
(07:34):
And I'm trying to figure it out.
So those are the reasons that Ithink really attracted me to
this whole project because youcan't do it yourself.
I was a business coach for 10years.
I remember one of the firstthing I would say to any of my
clients is why on earth wouldyou expect to have to do this
(07:55):
alone.
Especially as an entrepreneur,you need someone to help you
guide the way, and that's reallywhat retirees are.
They're kind of likeentrepreneurs that are entering
into this world that they'venever done before, they've never
been there.
They shouldn't do it themselvesand they don't have to.
Yasmin (08:12):
Yeah, you're spot on, kathleen.
And when we think aboutretirement, I remember a friend
and business colleague that Iworked with.
He is approaching 80 right nowand he refused to retire because
the thought of retirement hewould always say I'm not ready
to be put out to pasture.
It's this idea of you become nolonger relevant or meaningful,
(08:36):
and I think that's part of whatdrives the stress, the anxiety,
the depression is that there's aseries of different losses that
happen.
Dr Riley Moyan, who did a TEDTalk on this, said that there
are five different losses thathappen during this transition.
There's this loss of routineYou're no longer going to the
office, no longer taking onresponsibilities, you're not
(08:59):
waking up at a certain time.
Then there's a loss of identitywho am I If I am no longer the
vice president of so-and-so, orthe owner of this or whatever it
is?
How do I introduce myself?
Who am I?
And then there's this loss ofvarious different relationships
as well Relationships with yourwork colleagues and other
professionals that you're nolonger getting in contact with.
(09:22):
And then, along with that, youget a sense of a loss of purpose
.
What am I supposed to do?
Why am I even here?
Things that people get asked,and then the final thing is
you're also losing power.
Perhaps in your professionalcareer you had influence, you
had others that report to you,and now maybe it's just yourself
(09:43):
or your partner, and the powerdynamics change too.
So I think those, along withhealth decline and relationship
dynamics, family dynamics, allof these play a role in the next
step that we're just notprepared for.
Kathleen (09:58):
You know, one of the things, jasmine, that came to
mind you and I talk brieflyabout this one day is preparing
yourself for a change in yourhealth, and how do I navigate
that?
Our health system in NorthAmerica is, I'm going to say, a
little bit broken in that,unless you're going to go into
private, but I'm in Canada, sowe have a different kind of
(10:19):
healthcare here, and when youare faced with what could be a
catastrophic disease and you'regoing in for tests and then two
weeks later you might get theresult, that anxiety period for
two weeks can just alter yourlife and change your mindset for
(10:41):
a very, very long time, and Ithink that preparing yourself
for changes in health is a vital, important aspect.
That's going to be a topic thatwe deal with later, but I just
want to mention some of thethings that we're going to be
dealing with as far as ourfuture.
In our series we're going todeal with all kinds of things
with mental health as well.
(11:03):
As I said, we understand anddiscovered how vitally important
that is, and we want people tohave an understanding that
well-being, whether it be mentalhealth or physical health, is
really important to us, and I'mgoing to brag a little bit here.
We've got about 175 differenttopics and conversations that
(11:24):
are going to take place over thenext year, so there's going to
be one that you can really sayokay, that's my story, I can
relate to that, this is what Ineed, this is how I'm going to
find it.
So, all of those challengesthat you're facing, you don't
have to do it alone, becausewe've got someone in our
community that has been thereand will help.
(11:46):
You may not hold your hand, butcertainly they'll be there to
answer some questions.
Yasmin (11:51):
We invite people to not feel alone, but to know that
there's others that are outthere, and whether you are going
through retirement yourself, ormaybe you know someone who is,
or maybe a family member or aloved one is going through
retirement, this opportunity isfor us to share that wisdom so
that we can support those aroundus.
Kathleen (12:13):
You know I did mention that we're going to have
experts and I'm just going tokind of step back a little bit.
When I say experts, I'm talkingabout people who deal with
these things all the time.
We want to have peopleproviding advice that are living
it.
So we'll have grief experts,because grief doesn't take place
(12:35):
only with a loss.
I had a friend reach out theother day.
This broke my heart.
My friend just lost her longtime lost interior, devastating,
you know such a loss.
So she's going through griefright now and in fact the whole
family is.
So it's not just that you'velost a parent or a sister or
(12:59):
brother God forbid a child butanimals are so important in your
life.
The loss of one can reallyovertake you for a few days or
weeks or months.
And we have relationshipcoaches because unfortunately
sometimes when people retirethey discover that the
(13:20):
commonalities aren't there andit's shocking but there's a lot
of divorce that takes place oncepeople retire.
And then we'll also haveprofessional tour guide tell us
what it's like to go off andfind a new journey, and it's
wonderful to see how peoplechange their direction in life
(13:41):
and find new purpose and bringassistance to others in the
process.
So that's just a couple of theexperts.
If you will, that we've gotlined up.
Yasmin, maybe you can introducesome of the key topics that
we're talking about, in additionto the ones that I spoke about
before.
Yasmin (13:58):
A lot of these topics have come from feedback that
we've gotten from variousdifferent people, as well as our
research.
Some of the key ones, like howdo you find that spark back into
your relationship, especiallyat this age?
And also how do you communicatewith your partner?
Spending decades in ourprofessional careers, all of a
sudden we're spending lots oftime with each other, and so how
(14:20):
do you navigate some of thosedifferent dynamics?
There's also navigating thejourney of caregiving.
Many of us have elderly parentsthat are going through various
different health challenges, andso what are the emotional and
other roles that we need to bemindful of?
And then also, how do you stayactive?
(14:41):
Mobility, activity are such animportant piece of our physical
health during this stage, sowe'll be able to explore what
ways to retain that mobility.
And then also, one of thequestions that many people ask
is who am I now that I'veretired?
How do I rediscover my talents,my passion, my purpose, many
(15:04):
things that many of us perhapsput on the shelf as we focus on
our families and careers, mostof our lives, and also limiting
beliefs, things that get in theway of our joy, things that we
believe may not be possible,that prevents us from having a
joyful retirement.
So those are just a few, but,boy, we have so many different
(15:25):
topics and we're continuing toexplore topics that you're
interested in.
Kathleen (15:29):
Do you remember when we had our very first focus
group and we spoke to people whohad a varying degree of I don't
want to say disagreement, butvarious opinions on what they
felt retirement should be?
And I remember one person whoshared with us that retirement
(15:51):
hadn't come joyfully to herbecause it was an early downsize
and in her career she had totake on a whole new role and she
dove into well-being andanything that would increase her
longevity.
And because she was so youngand I think now my gosh, I see
(16:15):
her she walks six K a day.
But it was so different fromsomeone else who had prevented
travel because of health, so herhealth had been diminished, she
hadn't taken those self-caresteps that she should have and
had bone density tests taken andended up fracturing a bone
(16:36):
while on vacation.
So it was so interesting to seethe differences between the
mindset of people who, quitefrankly, were very similar in
age and their backgrounds weresimilar but they are approached
to retire so completelydifferent.
Yasmin (16:53):
It was interesting.
It felt like people were justWaiting for an opportunity to
talk about some of these topicsthat so many people have been
Holding in trying to figure out.
I'm struggling and realizingthat I'm in a room with others
that are experiencing the samething and Others who might have
some ideas, and I have somesomething to share as well, so
(17:15):
it was such a refreshingOpportunity to bring people
together and have theseconversations.
Kathleen (17:21):
We called it a focus group.
It really wasn't what a focusgroup is traditionally formatted
, as this was a conversation wasa small group of people who
were determined to share theirexperience, and In doing so, I
think we gleaned a lot ofinformation from that the
information Oftentimes arereally hard to find, other than
(17:42):
everyone knows that, oh, it'sheavy on finances.
That's really what every personwho talks about retirement Well
, I shouldn't say that, notevery person, but many people
who speak about retirement arespecifically Focused on Finances
, and there's nothing wrong withthat, because God knows that if
you don't have your finances inplace, your retirement can Take
(18:07):
a slower path than expected.
You know what thing he asked methat?
I think that I'm gonna Kind oftake a step back, because I I
apologize we have a wellnessassessment that is absolutely
available to anybody who wouldlike to try and see where they
(18:27):
fit in.
What, how many, 10 categoriesand category yes, and you get
scored on each category and ithelps you highlight what maybe
needs to be augmented a littlebit or, if you choose, and then
it'll have a link to ourresource center, which is soon
(18:48):
to be released, and that willoffer you access to a myriad of
articles, podcasts, such as this, and a lot of other information
.
So I encourage everyone to takethat assessment and we'll
actually put that in the link sothat it's an easy thing to do.
(19:09):
It takes about five or sixminutes, but, oh my god, is it
on point and it.
You uncover Sometimessurprisingly so things that you
thought, okay, I've got thatcovered, I'm really good in this
.
You'll be surprised and I thinkthat it you'll be delighted as
well, and it's interesting whenyou have a couple.
If they both take it, it's notalways in sync, so sometimes you
(19:34):
get strength from those who aredifferent and it's nice to see
that.
That's an opportunity for youas a couple to experience.
Yasmin (19:42):
Yeah, that's so powerful , kathleen.
When we think about growing up,going to school, there's a
roadmap for that.
You make it through gradeschool and then you go to
college and then you have youget married, you have kids, you
have your career.
Everything's got a roadmap toit.
But when you step intoretirement, it's like this
uncharted territory, and thisassessment tool is our way of
(20:05):
helping provide some guidanceand, in many ways, even a
roadmap, where, whether you'reretired, you're checking to see
if you're ready for retirement,not just financially but in all
the other categories or whetheryou've already stepped into
retirement.
You want to check in and seehow well you're doing.
We developed both the readinessassessment as well as the
well-being assessment.
(20:26):
That isn't a judgment, but it'sa way to get some clarity as to
how am I doing on my familydynamics, how am I doing on my
purpose, how am I doing on mymental and emotional well-being,
and this provides that guidance, provides a roadmap as to where
to focus.
And as we focus on thesedifferent areas now, we're also
(20:48):
discovering what are the otherquestions that come up?
What are other peopleexperiencing?
Who can I connect with to getsupport?
And that's part of our missionis to really not only provide
the resources, but provide theclarity and the community, so
that you don't have to go onthis journey by yourself and
that to know that your unique,individual journey is valued.
(21:10):
It's not this one prescriptionwhere everybody has the same
journey.
So we invite you to takeadvantage of this tool, this
assessment tool, to at leastgive you a roadmap as to what's
ahead and where you want tofocus on.
Kathleen (21:22):
You know, yasmin, I'm so glad that you were detailed
in that.
That's the nice thing aboutYasmin and I.
We're complimentary in thathe's a detailed guy, which I
love, and I'm kind of an idea.
Put it out there, let's get itdone, girl.
One of the things I do want tojust point out to you what our
purpose has been is to be aconduit for you.
(21:43):
We have collected all of thisresource material not because
we're genius, but because weknow it's important.
It took hours and hours andhours and hours to find this,
and so, instead of you having tolook and search and go down
those rabbit holes that we'vemissed on, we have gleamed all
of the information that webelieve, based on our
(22:04):
interviewing and based on ourfocus groups, that you deserve
to have available, easy andaccessible, and that's what our
whole community is all about.
We want to make life easier foryou.
We want to make it more joyfulfor you.
We want you to have fun forhaving sex.
This is a serious time in yourlife, for sure I get it.
(22:27):
You know some people saying therunway is right there.
We want that runway to be thebest runway you've ever had.
Yasmin (22:34):
It certainly is.
And you said the J word, joy.
It's right there, joy, and partof creating a joyful chapter of
our lives is to be a part of itwith others as well.
We are excited to invite you todo this together with us and to
be together.
Any other final thoughts,kathleen?
Kathleen (22:56):
First of all, this whole process was exciting.
My husband said are you nervous?
I said why I'm talking tofriends for having sex, why
would I be nervous?
But I think that it can be alittle intimidating when you go
to share something.
So we encourage you to give ita try.
You know, if it doesn't workthe first time with the first
(23:16):
person, try someone else.
I am 100% sure that this isgoing to make a huge change in
many people's lives.
Find us, share us, give us toyour friends, to your neighbors.
Make sure that anyone in yourcircle, in your tribe, knows
(23:37):
that you found something thatyou believe is valuable.
Well, we know it's valuable,but we want you to take and
share this with all of yourfriends and join in the
discussions and submit yourquestions and your stories.
We love to hear them.
Yasmin (23:55):
It's realretirementshowcom, and this
show will be available on allthe different podcast platforms,
whether you're on Spotify,Apple podcast or any of the
other podcast shows, and thenalso on YouTube.
So if you want to actually seeus, then we also have a link to
our YouTube channel as well.
(24:15):
This is a show that we areexcited to share with you on a
weekly basis and bring realpeople, real stories, real
heartbreaks, real joy and realsolutions too.
That's why we called it realretirement because we want to
give you the real deal.
Kathleen (24:33):
The real deal for sure , and we hope that you
appreciate what we've done.
We hope that you enjoy whatyou're going to be receiving,
and joy is part of the process.
Yasmin (24:46):
Wow, thank you, kathleen .
I got to be really honest heretoo.
I've been nervous, and it'sinteresting.
I'm nervous because there'sthis sort of well, I've got to
say the right thing or toperform, and all that.
The reality is that you and Ihave had conversations literally
almost every single week forthe past year, and the richness
(25:07):
in which we've been able toexplore the conversations just
from hey, guess what happenedtoday?
Or wow, kathleen, I'mexperiencing this those were the
real moments that I felt somuch gratitude and joy that I
got a chance to be able to shareand explore and learn and
Kathleen's a professional nudgertoo, so she likes to nudge me
(25:31):
out of my comfort zone but Iremember all of these
conversations.
What if others got a chance towitness those with us?
And so if we kind of felt alittle bit I don't know stiff in
this first episode, know thatmaybe it's still so snared, but
we're going to invite you tocome back and to share the real
(25:52):
connection that we have, notonly with each other, but also
with our guests and with othersthat are going to be a part of
our community as well too, andso I just want to leave it at
that.
Let's just keep it real andjust chill out and let's have a
good time together.
Kathleen (26:08):
Yeah, we are organic, there's no question.
Scripting is not us, but welove to hear from all of you and
, yasmin, I'm just so, sothrilled that you invited me on
this journey with you and, quitefrankly, it's kind of a good
thing that my daughter and Ididn't do the podcast.
Yasmin (26:26):
Well, you know, everything has its time, and
perhaps we can have her on theshow as well and talk about what
it's like to have a mom that'sretired there.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
Kathleen (26:40):
Well, to all of those people who are out there
planning it, thinking of it,living it, have a wonderful
journey and we'll see you nexttime.
Remember, if you're on YouTube,subscribe.
It's important for us to get toin the tribe.
We want to see as many peopleand then, of course, we'll be
able to communicate moreeffectively with you and answer
your questions and plan for someof the topics that you're
(27:03):
interested in.
Awesome.
Yasmin (27:06):
Well, we'll include all the links in our show notes for
you, and in the meantime, mayjoy be with you, have a joyful
retirement journey, and we lookforward to connecting with you
again next week.
Kathleen (27:17):
Next week.
Yasmin (27:19):
Take care.
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