Episode 3: Finding Alignment, Purpose, and Relationship Harmony in Retirement through Human Design

Episode Transcript
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Yasmin Nguyen (00:00):
Have you ever asked yourself what's my purpose
now that I'm retired?
Have you ever noticed frictionbetween you and your loved ones
now that you have more time onyour hands?
If so, you're not alone.
One of the top challenges menface during retirement is
feeling relevant.
For women, it's being seen.
What often causes stress,anxiety, frustration, conflict

(00:25):
and depression is misalignmentwith the things we do and how we
interact in our relationships.
Alignment means making sure ouractions and choices really
match up with who we are andwhat we want.

(00:47):
Welcome back to the RealRetirement Show.
My name is Yasmin here with myco-host, kathleen.
In this show we delve into themultifaceted world of retirement
beyond the finances.
This isn't your typicalretirement discussion.
It's a vibrant journey intowhat retirement truly means in
today's world.
We bring you real stories fromreal retirees and experts

(01:11):
discussing real challenges,surprises, joys, heartaches and
the myriad emotions that comewith retirement.
From addressing family dynamicsto mental and physical health,
to finding purpose, we tacklethe issues that truly matter to
retirees and those thinkingabout retirement.
Today's episode is all aboutgetting to the heart of what you

(01:34):
really want out of retirementand how to make it happen.
You're going to get somestraightforward, practical
advice on how to betterunderstand yourself and your
needs as you navigate this newchapter.
We're talking about the kind ofunderstanding that can make the
difference between feeling lostand feeling like you're on the
right path.

(01:55):
Our special guest is CandyBarone.
Candy isn't your averageexecutive coach.
She's a tree shaker, changecatalyst and transformational
leader who's got a knack forhelping people see the big
picture of their lives and makechanges that stick, especially
as they move into retirement.
She's an executive coach,fortune 500 speaker, amazon

(02:19):
bestselling author and the hostof the Aligned as F podcast.
She's been showcased inpublications and spaces such as
CNNcom, us News and World Report, the Austin Statesman, austin
Business Journal, the ChicagoTribune, and has served as a
panel facilitator for fastcompany at South by Southwest.

(02:39):
She's worked with organizationsincluding the US Army Reserve,
corps of Engineer, ge Healthcare, cox Media, rockwell Automation
, duke University, northwesternUniversity, northwestern Mutual,
to just name a few.
She's here with us to share herexpertise on creating alignment

(03:00):
in our lives, understanding theunique blueprint that makes you
you through human design, andimproving the way we communicate
and interact with the importantpeople in our lives.
Candy has a talent for breakingdown complex ideas into
practical steps that anyone canfollow.
She's going to help usunderstand how being in

(03:22):
alignment can transform ourretirement into the fulfilling
chapter we all hope for.
With her guidance, we'llexplore human design, a tool
that offers insights into ourpersonal strengths and
challenges, helping us makedecisions that feel right.
But that's not all.
Candy will also delve into howwe can use this knowledge to

(03:44):
enhance our relationships,whether it's our spouse, family
or friends.
Better communication andunderstanding can lead to more
meaningful connections and lessfriction, something we can all
benefit from in retirement.
So if you're curious about howto align your retirement life
with your true self, discoveringyour energetic blueprint and

(04:05):
operating plan, or just lookingto improve your relationships,
this episode is for you.
Let's get started and uncoverhow these insights can make your
retirement not just comfortablebut truly rewarding.
Towards the end of last year, Iwas really struggling with a
lot of change, a lot oftransitions, both with moving,

(04:27):
turning 50, re-evaluating mywork and my purpose and I was
really in a funk and in ourconversations and doing a
reading, and in learning moreabout human design, it has
really helped me not only getclarity, but it's also helped me
get re-energized and focusedand excited about what's ahead,

(04:50):
and also helped me betterunderstand myself and also some
of the things that I wasn'tquite sure about, so I wanted to
thank you for just the impactthat you've made, even in the
short period of time that we'vegotten a chance to explore this
together.

Candy Barone (05:04):
Well, thank you for that.
That just actually makes myheart so happy and it's why I do
what I do.
It's been really cool to watchwhat's opened up for you as a
result of you betterunderstanding some of that
energetic language and what'sshowing up for you, so it's been
my honor, for sure.

I'd like to kick off by asking you, kandi, about
this concept of alignment andwhy it's so important as we just
explore this particular chapterin our lives, as we step into a
transition or, in this case,retirement.

I think that's a great question.
Alignment is an importantconversation, no matter where
you're at in your life, andparticularly as you're in a
transition to walk away fromwhere you probably have
identified yourself on a levelthat, when you start to step
away in a retirement capacity,this sense of identity, this
sense of direction, where doesit go?

(05:57):
Where does it go?
So many people have been sodeeply conditioned in the work
or in the environments or bytheir career that trying to find
their way back to their trueessence can be a bit of a
journey.
And I think, as they explorewhat does alignment really mean
to them?
There's a lot of things thatthey have to unlearn through
that process.

(06:18):
Our culture devalues a lot ofpeople's sense of identity and
sense of purpose, because it'sthat space of okay, you're done,
and I guess you're just goingto go sit on a golf course and
not do anything.
And for a lot of people they'veactually put their heart's
deepest desires on hold or aback burner to do their career

(06:38):
and they've been waiting tillthat space where they can
actually live in a moreauthentic, aligned capacity.
So that how you help them getthere for me I think that's
everything I think to help bringthem back to a sense of meaning
and purpose.
It really starts in how do theyget aligned for themselves
first.

Kathleen Mundy (06:59):
You can be really thrilled to have this
conversation with you today,because I think it's so
important that people shed someof the things that have been
imposed upon them throughcareers or through raising
families, and when they reach apoint in their life where
there's going to be change.
And how do we prepare for thatchange?

(07:21):
I think it's really elementaryto develop a system that helps
the process, because it'ssomething you just absolutely
cannot do it alone.
It takes so much longer andyou'll hit bumps to the road and
, oh my God, your journey can bereally problematic.
So I'm thrilled to have anopportunity to discuss this with

(07:44):
you today and help our audienceunderstand some of the tools
that they can use along thispath.

Well and I love that, just to play off that,
because it doesn't look the samefor everyone either, and I
think that's one of the biggestopportunities in this
conversation is what feelsaligned for me, in my energy and
in my authenticity is not whatfeels aligned for someone else.
I think there's a lot ofshitting and shaming that

(08:13):
happens in that space as well.
You should want to travel rightnow.
I'm going to tell you that whenI retire, I don't want to
travel.
I've spent most of my life onthe road.
I actually want to be left tolook a little bit.
So it's that space ofunderstanding and having some
space in grace to recognize thatthis journey is very personal,
and I look at alignment as beinga deeper walk in your own path,

(08:35):
which I am very clear thatspirituality in and of itself is
a personal journey.
So then, that alignment intothat true essence of who you are
it doesn't look the same foreverybody either.

One of the things that we discovered very
early on this project is that notwo people are alike in their
plan or what retirement is goingto look like for them, and so
this meshes beautifully withwhat you've just explained to us
.
I did notice a difference inthe last year with Yasmin's
mindset.
The curiosity that he's alwaysshown was slowed down.

(09:09):
It took a different beatbecause I go at sixth gear and I
noticed that he wasdownshifting a little bit, if I
can use that analogy.

Part of what you've noticed, Kathleen, was I
was feeling misalignment.
There are parts of me that Icouldn't go to sixth gear.
I was stuck in third and so,Kandi, I wonder if you could
share how are the different waysin which misalignment might
show up?

Yeah, so I will make sure I don't go down too
many rabbit holes.
That is a very loaded questionbecause, again, the answer
really is different for eachperson, depending on what shows
up in their chart, and so when Italk about their chart, it is
their human design or theoperating plan of who they are.
It's an energetic blueprint.
So, for example, one of the keyareas that that would show up

(09:54):
is, if you're looking at yourchart, there are areas that are
colored on your chart.
That is what's known asdefinition.
You have consistent access tothat energy, so it is an energy
you're broadcasting into theworld 24-7.
It's where your gifts and yoursuperpowers and you're just
innate way you show up and howyou operate.
The white areas on your chart,or the openness in your chart,

(10:16):
is where most people aresuccessful and acceptable to
really getting knocked out ofalignment, because that is the
area where imposter syndromekicks in.
It is the area where we areprone to burnout, because it is
the area where we are shittingand shaming ourselves in every
capacity and we are taking in,we are absorbing, we are
amplifying the energy ofeveryone around us, the

(10:39):
environments around us.
So if you haven't done the workto know how to discern what
energy is yours or what energyfeels good to you, or what
actually is alignment for you.
You can get taken out by thatinflux of energy that you are
constantly sampling andamplifying, and for a lot of

(11:00):
people, they haven't learned thepractice of how to discharge
that out of their body.
So what happens is it startsbuilding and building, and
building, and building, and thenit starts ricocheting all
around their body and they don'tknow what to do with it, which
pulls them out of alignment, andthey start showing up in ways
that don't feel true to who theyare.
They show up either depressed,or they show up angry, or they

(11:20):
show up in third gear instead ofsixth gear, and oftentimes
those open areas, depending onwhat they look like in your
chart, are areas for rest,recharge, restoration,
reflection, slowing down tospeed up, because, regardless of
your design, we all havepatterns of waiting and we all
need to rest and we all need tolearn how to take care of

(11:43):
ourselves, and so any of thosecombinations, just on a surface
level, could be a huge factor ofwhat pulls somebody out of
alignment.

That speaks directly to me.
There's no question, becausewhen you're going in sixth gear
and that's your wheelhouse youhave to learn how to slow down
and recover and do someself-care because you're right.

All of that other stuff can really affect your
insights as well and how youprocess things Well and just to
say this, because I know Yasminhad sent me your information as
well so I could look at yourchart your charts couldn't be
more different.
So when you are in sixth gear,yasmin needs to remind himself
that he is in no way, shape orform, here to keep up with you.

(12:27):
You are what's known as amanifest, or you're blazing a
path.
You had this very bark kind ofenergy that when it's lit up, it
gets very big and you'reinitiating things.
Yasmin has a more consistentcadence to how he works.
When he's lit up, though, hedoes have an amplification of
power, but you two couldn't bemore different.

(12:49):
So that's another thing thatpulls people out of alignment is
we spend too much time worryingabout somebody else's energy,
and the fact that we do thiswhole comparison itists.
Or we do this whole peoplepleasing or we do whatever.
It is that knocks us furtherout of alignment, because we
keep going.
Why can't I act like?
Why am I not more level likeYasmin?

(13:10):
I'm a manifesting generator.
There's nothing level about myenergy.
It comes in pulses.
It's either on or it's off, andthere's zero in between.
I think even the first time Imet Yasmin and introduced him to
my friends.
I was like he's just this light.
He's this really soft, gorgeous, just steady light, and it
actually brings tears in my eyesbecause I'm absolutely not.
I'm going to come in and thewhole tablecloth's getting

(13:33):
disrupted.
There's a lot of energy thatcomes in and so I think when you
understand that about yourself,there's a responsibility that
you take that says I need tolearn how to do me and stop
thinking I'm supposed to besomething other than owning.
This is how my energy is wiredand right.

(13:53):
It's that in conversation,because your chart, you couldn't
be more different.
There isn't a wow, kathleen'sin sixth gear and I'm in third,
and it might be exactly whereyou need to be based on what
you're going through at thattime.

That's so interesting because literally
yesterday, kathleen and I had aconversation, because you helped
me understand and discern ourdifferences.
As a generator, once I ramp upfrom third to sixth gear, I'm on
sixth gear but Kathleen hasdownshifted.
I've noticed recently I amgoing full speed on our projects

(14:29):
and I know that Kathleen needsrest and is at a different pace,
and I was mindful to reach outand saying, hey, I don't have
the expectation that you are insixth gear with me, it's just,
this is where I'm at and this ishow I operate, and it gives us
permission to really embracewhere we are and not feel like
there's an expectation of eachother.

(14:50):
So thank you for thatdiscernment.

Absolutely Thank you for that, because one of
the things that I've experiencedthrough a very long business
world that was the life I was in.
It was really difficult and noone has ever up until Yasmin
said that the other dayappreciated that I might need
just some recovery time.

(15:12):
No one's ever said what he saidto me.
No one's ever said I understand, we work at different pace.
The thought was there, theintention came through very
clearly and maybe that speed inwhich I often show up as it gets
depleted pretty quickly as well.
And it's what you said you'reeither on 100% or you're zero.

(15:32):
You use all of that veryquickly.
I do have to learn how toaccept the element of others not
working at the same pace.
So when I think it's time toslow down, yasmin's going like a
crazy bird.
That's like a little energizedbunny.
He just goes and goes and goesOver 100%.

(15:53):
Yeah, oh, no, 200%, but yeah,yeah, yeah.

And you just being around that sometimes.
So this is what you need tounderstand from your openness
you being around that sometimescan be exhausting and take you
out.
So you need to understand thatwhen he's working like that,
it's probably not best thatyou're in those environments,
because you're going to feelthis amplified pressure of why
am I not getting shit done?
I got to go, oh yeah.
And then you feel instead youneed to go.

(16:19):
Who is any of this?
Mine, no, and the discernment.
And then, if you feel any buildup of pressure, go take a walk,
shake your body, discharge itout of your system, because when
he's in go time, you need toactually be away from him.
He will actually get inspired byyour go time, but he cannot
interrupt you when you're inflow, kathleen.

(16:41):
He can't interrupt you becausethen there's where that burst of
creativity has to pop and gosomewhere or anybody else.
So you got to really inform.
I need to go deep today.
Today is the day I'm going tocave.
Leave me alone.
I want to do this because Ithink you might even have caves
as your environment, like me.
So, yes, you like to have yourback up against wall, you like
to know where your entrances areand you don't always like
people in your space when you'reworking.

(17:03):
So really important that youinform and say Yasmin, I don't
need you to text me, call meanything for the next four hours
.
I've got something I'm workingon.
When you come out AwesomeYasmin you can actually
interrupt in between what he'sdoing.
He can get right back into hisflow.
But when he's in, that bigenergy you need to like find a

(17:23):
different way to play it.
When he's there, I get stressed,you don't feel very
overwhelming, like you'rechoking on energy.

You'll be like how how, how, how, how, how.

How, how, how, how , how.

And it's interesting because I can
interrupt him.
Yep and I do I've read yourtrack.

I've got your track.

He has a cadence .
He has a cadence.
Yeah, but if somebodyinterrupts me, whoa.

The wheels come off and you are about to go for
the jugular, uh-huh.

That's incredible.
One of the things I think youcan help prevent is the guilt
that people have.

One of the things I'm itching to say, and what you
just shared, is the fact thatyou, as a manifestor because
that is the type that you areyou are not designed to fit in
the current world we live in.
You are 8% of the population.
You are not here to fit in agenerator world and Yasmin is
what's known as a generator.
He is the energizer bunny whenhe is in the right spaces that

(18:23):
light him up and he has thisextra power, energy in his chart
as well.
So when it feels delightful andexpansive and he's responding,
his whole strategy is to respondto the things that feel in his
gut Right Like it's the thingsthat feel juicy and good and
delightful and expansive.
When he's lit up, in that, he'shere to do the heavy lifting

(18:47):
work for a long cadence, to gothrough this blastomastry, and
then he'll hit kind of a restingspot, but it's this very deep,
rich, like work that is ongoing.
So that is where he is inalignment and in aspects of his
chart.
You, on the other hand,kathleen, is what's known as a
manifestor and you are 8% of thepopulation.

(19:08):
You are a spark.
You are here to ignite andinitiate and oftentimes not
follow through on completingthings, it will completely take
you out.
You also have what's known asthis nonverbal creative flow,
which means when that spark ofinspiration comes in, now you
are an emotional manifestor, soyou might have to wait over time

(19:30):
to make sure it's the rightspark, because you have openness
in your head and you can getinto shiny squirrel syndromes.
Where you get these downloads,you're like, oh my God, yes, and
oh my God, yes, and oh my God,yes, and you're starting 20,000
things.
When you need to get dialed into start the right things, you
then get into what's known as anonverbal creative flow.

(19:51):
One of the biggest things youneed to remember is, while
you're here to initiate, thereis a step you need to take first
.
So when the download or thespark of inspiration hits you,
you need to slow down enough toinform those that are going to
be impacted that you're about toset their world on fire because

(20:12):
you are here to disrupt, youare here to create new and you
comparing yourself to anygenerator is a waste of time
because you're creating thingsthat have never been created.
And so those spark ofinspirations, you might just
need to say, yasmin, I'm aboutto go into a deep hole for like
four hours and I got this ideaand I need to run, and what
happens is Yasmin then getsinitiated based on you being in

(20:37):
the authentic alignment of howthat spark is going through your
system.
So you're not necessarily going.
I need you to do this.
He then responds based on yourinitiation and feels like he
then knows what work he needs todo.
As a result, or you initiatehim to do the work he needs to
do.
That might be separate and amanifestor.

(20:59):
When they're in that nonverbalcreative flow, you go until the
flow is done.
If something or someonedisrupts you.
This is why you need to inform,because if someone disrupts you
when you're in that flow, youget a burst of irrational anger
that pops because you have thisbuildup of creativity and all of
a sudden then you're like Idon't know and it takes you
forever to get back in that flow.

(21:20):
Your flows only last in thesepockets and when you're done
with the flow, go take a walk,go do something else, go find
your inspiration, take afreaking nap, but you are not
here to stay in that flow.
When the flow is telling youthat it's done, then it's time
to delegate, then it's time todo whatever.
And then it's time to hand itoff to someone like Yasmin and

(21:41):
you're like do what you're goingto do, go maintain this thing.
I just created it, I don't wantto see it anymore and I'm out.
And that is something for youtwo to really understand about
yourself, because otherwise whathappens is the guilt, the shame
, the shitting, the whole.
Oh my God, I can't.
If we were to function in thatway, imagine how different

(22:03):
business would be if we knew whoour manifestors were and who
our projectors were and who ourgenerators were.
And, like me, I'm a manifestinggenerator.
So, while you have fast energy,kathleen, you think Yasmin's an
energizer Bunny, be with mewhen I'm lit up and all the
power in my chart.
You're not here to keep outwith me.
I have to actually coach peopleto remind them.

(22:23):
You're not here to do work theway I do, because when I get
into a blast, it's three days.
I don't sleep.
I'm lit up.
Last year in four days, at theend of the year, I rebuilt my
website, re-dilled 17 landingpages, overhauled several
programs in four days for mostpeople that would take them out
and then I slept for a week anddidn't do anything afterwards
because that my pulse was on andthen my pulse was off.

Wow, Yasmin knows this about me I'm not very
often speechless, but Icertainly am at this point.

Candy.
For those who may not befamiliar with what human design
is, could we take a quick stepback and paint the picture of
what human design is?
And you mentioned chart.
How does someone discover theirchart as well?

Well, and I'll actually start with what it's
not, because I think that'simportant.
I think there's a lot of peoplethat have a misinterpretation
of what they think human designis, and one is the fact that
people call it an assessment.
Think about what an assessmentis.
It's a series of questions thatyou are responding to based on
your emotional state at the time, your experiences, your filters
, your stuff.
It can change.

(23:24):
It is also very subjective.
In trying to put you into alabel or a box, human design is
an energetic blueprint that is asynthesis of your time of birth
, date of birth and location.
It doesn't change how youexperience.
Your chart will change as youheal and grow and learn, but
your human design chart does notchange.

(23:45):
It is also a synthesis ofEastern philosophy and Western
science, meaning it brings inthe systems of the Aichinger,
the 64 hexagrams, it brings inthe cabala, or the tree of life.
It brings in astrology,numerology, and it brings in the
evolved nine center chakrasystem.
So that's the Easternphilosophy side.

(24:07):
Then it brings in quantummechanics, quantum physics and
epigenetics.
So now you have this synthesis.
If you've ever seen the movie,the best way I can explain this.
If anyone has ever seen thePixar movie Soul with Jamie Foxx
, when Jamie Foxx is like I wantto be a jazz musician and he
signs this little soul contractand then he stands in a line
waiting for the portal to openso he can go into the world as a

(24:28):
jazz musician.
That is your human design.
The other thing I will say is alot of people will tell you,
human design is who you are.
No, you have free will todecide who you are at any point
and who you choose to become.
Human design is how you are.
It is an operating plan andit's here to show you how you
give and use energy, how youinteract with the world and

(24:51):
others, how you work, rest andplay best, how you make
decisions that are aligned foryou how, how, how, how and it is
all about energy coming in orgoing out.
Period.
It is physics.
Thank you for that.
One of the things I think is anopportunity for us to dispel is
it's not that you need to learnsomething or become something.

(25:12):
It's not that you got to goseek or find something.
A lot of this process isunlearning and unbecoming.
All of the layers of crapyou've put on yourself through
that guilt and that shaming andthat shitting.
It's more of an exploration orcontemplation, because I do
think people think they're goingto get into human design.
It's some kind of assessmentwhich it's not.
They want to figure it out.

(25:33):
Oh my God, how am I wired?
It doesn't work that way.
Human design meets you whereyou're at and it is an ongoing
peeling back of an onion whereyou get to sit with and explore
and contemplate the resonancethat shows up for where you're
at in your life.
We have certain things and notto go too deep into this, but we
have things in our chart thatwe are here to bump up against.

(25:55):
There are nuances we experiencedepending on what we've healed,
what we've learned, what we'veexperienced and where we've
gotten wise, in addition towhere we've deconditioned or
unprogrammed or pulled ourselvesout of the matrix to come back
in and understand our truth.
One of the first things we door I do with people in that

(26:15):
exploration is help themunderstand the fundamental,
foundational aspects of thechart, meaning just like when I
said between you and Yasminunderstanding which of the five
types you are.
It is the role you are here toplay.
Are you a manifestor,manifesting generator, generator
, projector or reflector?
They have a very specific rolefor how they're here to show up

(26:39):
to do the work to evolve us intothe next evolution of humanity
and ship consciousness.
It's a process of how do Iexplore and contemplate and
allow human design to meet mewhere I'm at.

If we had to say to retirees who are searching
for methods to find purposeafter a massive career how can
you specifically predict a wayto have your human design help
you through those trying,difficult times, whether it be

(27:14):
family dynamic changes or healthor wellness, all of the
elements that we have to dealwith in all of our life, but
certainly to a large extentlater in life.

Yeah, I think that's a beautiful question.
I'll go back to one of thethings I said.
In understanding where you'reopening your chart and where
you're defining, that is a hugeindicator of where you're taking
in fears of others or whereyou're taking in things that are
further amplifying energy.
For example, if you have anopen solar plexus, you're taking
everybody else's emotion in andyou need to learn how to

(27:47):
discharge that.
That's one aspect.
The other is there are specificthings that show up in our
chart that show where we havecodependency tendencies.
For me, I have a tremendousamount of codependency in my
chart, not just with people, butwith ideas, systems, my
business.
It has been part of my learningon how can I untether.
I also have this control energythat says I want to just fish

(28:09):
for people, because sometimes Idon't have the patience.
I need to learn how to one cutthose cords and remind myself
that there's power in teachingpeople how to fish instead of
always going in to clean it up.
Those are things that, when Iunderstand that about myself, I
then can create practices tofill my cut back up, to nourish

(28:30):
myself.
When you understand how yourecharge, how you replenish and
for many people, depending onwhat your chart says.
Some people aren't here toserve when the cup is full.
They really need to startpracticing serving from the
overflow based on what shows upin their chart, because if they
only let themselves get full,they get caught into some of

(28:53):
these cycles that then the grieftakes them out or the
codependency takes them out, andso, again, when you look at
your specific nuances and youstart to understand the coding
that lives in those spaces, youthen can do what you need to
take care of yourself.
first, there is an energy we'removing into that takes us out of
this definition of how we servethat says when I take care of

(29:16):
me, I can take care of you.
What shifting is?
When I take care of me, all istaken care of, and we need to
learn how to lead ourselvesfirst before we can think we can
be for everybody else.
And unfortunately a lot ofpeople have this very tethered,
codependent nurturing I need totake care of everybody.

(29:38):
How do they shift that?
Because it's really hard tofigure out who you are when
you're still entrenched orentangled in it.

When you talk about the chart, I'm curious are
there certain indicators in thechart that help someone
especially men, but also womenas well to navigate that
question of what's next?
What's my purpose?
Where do I go from here?
Stepping into retirement?

And this is going to be a yes and kind of
conversation, because there areplaces you can naturally look
and it's different for everybody, but depending on what aspects
of your quote purpose, because alot of what human design does
is, it really is a pathway forpeople to remember.
There is no.
I got to find my purpose.

(30:21):
There's no purpose outside ofyou.
You are purpose, you are yourpurpose, and when you understand
that and start to understandthe language and the coding of
what you brought into this world, it gives you some freedom and
permission.
One of the biggest things I'veseen with people, especially in
a transition or going intoretirement, is there's a

(30:41):
permission that says, oh, I getto be that, oh, and now that I
say that I can do it, just as afreeing.
It's like the shackles go away,and so a lot of it is helping
people create the space to givethemselves permission for what
they already know.
Well, maybe they didn't realize, yes, or they forgotten right

(31:01):
For sure, because as children,if you go back to when you were
really itty bitty, we all knewwho we were.
We may not have been able tolanguage it, but we came into
this world knowing who we wereand what we were here to do.
We just have forgotten that,based on the culture and the
environments and the programming, that's so powerful.

I'm curious, as you've looked at Kathleen's
chart, is there anythingparticular that we affirm are
purpose?

Yeah, and it's interesting because I actually
should pull your chart when I'mlooking at this.
But I did look at Kathleen andher husband's charts and what's
interesting is they have thesame birthday, different years.
A couple of things that wereinteresting is you're going to
have some flavors that feel thesame, yet your charts could not
be more different, even thoughyou're both manifestors and same
with you and Yasmin.
There are areas where you'regoing to be really in sync and

(31:45):
when you learn how to borrow theenergy from the other.
Who has that definition?
Because one of the things foryou, kathleen, that's really
important to know is you havefive of your nine centers open,
which means you are absorbing alot of energy from other people,
especially that generatorenergy Meaning.
There is a natural pressure.
You have a almost wide openroute, so you have a natural

(32:07):
pressure to get stuff done andwant to get it off your plate
and get it all moving.
And there's sometimes where youfeel like you've got to go, go,
go.
And if somebody were like, hey,I want you to come speak to our
group in two months, you'relike I need to put the slides
together today, like there'salmost an urgency.
That's unnecessary for youbecause you're built, especially
if you're around someone likeme, who mine is the opposite of

(32:28):
yours.
My route is almost fullydefined.
So if we were working togetherand Yasmin is a good example of
that he has a defined route aswell.
It's that space of you.
Don't need to work at my speed,you don't need to hustle in
this capacity, and one of thethings you can borrow from
Yasmin is his sense of knowinghow to prioritize, his sense of

(32:48):
knowing how you know what that'stwo months from now.
We don't need to worry aboutthat till here.
Let's stay focused on what'spresent.
The other thing for you thatyou're going to find because you
have an open G center or heartcenter and spleen is it is
absolutely critical for you,kathleen, to discern who and

(33:08):
where you surround yourself,meaning the people you are
engaged with and yourenvironments are either going to
be very healthy for you or theyare going to take you out, and
there is no in between.
One of the things you're hereto learn is how to trust your
intuition, that whisper thatsays that doesn't feel right,

(33:30):
that doesn't good.
I don't know why that persondidn't do anything.
It doesn't matter If, in anyway, shape or form, you feel
like not healthy for me, becauseyou really have an opportunity
to discern what is healthy.
You will have a hard timesometimes and I would gather
you've experienced this in yourlife letting go of things that
no longer serve you, letting goof things you have a habit

(33:52):
sometimes of carrying the crustyblanket around because it's
safer to carry the blanket,because you also have a gate
that says you have the fear ofthe future, which you're
sometimes risk averse to let goof the blanket because you don't
know what's going to happen.
On the other side, yasmin has areally defined G center.
You have an open G center.
So one of the reasons why youand Yasmin work so well together

(34:14):
is because he has a very clearsense of purpose, direction and
identity, and you probably havefound yourself in life searching
here's the thing you are hereto sample, not land on one thing
.

Well, that's really interesting and something
that you said about my husbandand I.
You said that we were bothmanifesters, and yet that
surprises me, because I think weare as different as Yasmin and
I are, and we're completelysometimes on a different planet,
I sense, but we share a lot ofcommonalities and values.

Yes, and your charts are very different, even
though you're both manifestersand this is where the nuances
matter just because you're bothemotional manifesters.
So you have the same type andthe same authority and you have
the same energy in differentlines, in your broad purpose.
Everything else in your chartis different.

(35:13):
Everything else in your chartis different where you're
defined, where you're open.
Your husband also has this veryrare profile, which is a very
fixed, just a position, I wouldgather.
Changes, not something he'sreally on board with.
It takes him a long time toshift something because he needs

(35:35):
foundations and everything hedoes before he can make a shift.
So, for example, if he were ina job, he would have to have
another job secured.
He couldn't just leave a joband think he would figure it out
.
That's not how he's wired.
You, on the other hand, a lot ofyour experiences and learning
comes in your relationships withother people and it can change
based on who's in yourenvironments and how you're

(35:57):
doing.
But you're here to sample a lot, to become wise in your own
learnings and to teach from thatcapacity and, with you having
that Open G Center, you're hereto decide who you want to be for
the people that need you.
So you're like a chameleon.
You have this opportunity towake up and be like I want to be
a Wonder Woman.
Or wake up and be like I kindof want to be like no, it's late

(36:20):
today.
Or I want to be like you get toadapt.
He doesn't have that luxury.
He's on a very set course andit's all about creating
foundations where you're avisionary leader who is here to
kind of stir some things up andbring a very oracle, sage kind

(36:41):
of wisdom to the potential ofwhat is available on the planet,
and so how you show up and howhe shows up as a manifester are
totally different.

It's true, absolutely true.
We had the pleasure of spendinga week together, all three of
us, and so he has seen somethingthat Robert's very determined,
and once he gets something, hestays with us and makes sure
that it's accomplished.

It was fascinating to be there both
with Kathleen and Robert, and Ihave a funny story we had
determined that we were going tohave chicken wings one night,
and so the thing we didn'texpect was that there was going
to be this massive rain and windstorm.
And, true to his nature, robertwas out there in the rain,
drenched, with winds justswirling around, and he made

(37:32):
those chicken wings.
And it was fascinating to beable to notice that and also the
dynamics in which both Kathleenand Robert communicate and
interact with each other.

Pivoting is not something he's going to do
easily.
He's not going to pivot on thefly.
He has to have the foundationsin place to create the change.
So, yeah, not surprised that hewas out there, because if he
got it in his mind, yes, 100%, Ilove that.

That's a great story we were chatting the other
day.
His mom said to me once oh, youknow, robert's a real
procrastinator and they thoughtI wouldn't see that.
He prioritizes and sometimesit's different than my
priorities and I get that, buthe decides things.

(38:20):
It's a lesson that heprocrastinates.
He really has to think thingsthrough and almost understand
what some of the outcomes mightbe before he begins it.

It is true, because he has a defined root
and you don't.
So, again, you're always tryingto get this pressure of things
off you and go.
She is right.
So in the classities, thosewith a defined root
procrastination when it'saligned, we get some juice off
sliding things into the 11thhour.
I will, for examples, I willhave a speaking engagement where
you'll be like I want to buildthe slides two months early.

(38:53):
Someone will be like can't, Ineed your slide deck.
I'm like for what they're likefor your talk in March.
I'm like that's not going tohappen until the night before I
give the talk I'll be thinkingabout it and ruminating about it
, but I'm not going to do thething until it's required to do
the thing.
My class I just ran, I did theslides the day before because I
need to be able to pull through.

(39:15):
There is an aspect of slidingthings in at the 11th hour or
that procrastination that'sextremely healthy and, yes,
there's sort of a rumination ora prioritization that says it'll
get done.
I trust divine timing, wherefor you that's actually one of
the areas for you to become morewise is to discern and trust,
especially because you have anopen root and spleen.

(39:36):
When is the timing right totake action?
When is the timing right to letthings go and the trust in
divine timing that all will betaking care of exactly as it
needs to and you don't need toget it all done?

right now.
Well, it's interesting, I won'tdo the slides at all.

Well, actually, because you've been a manifesto
and the other things in yourchart, that doesn't surprise me.
You'll have the idea and thenyou'll hand it to Yasmin and be
like this is when I see here'syour, take your interpretation,
respond to it and he will buildthe slides.
100%, yes, burn it up andmanifest her.
That actually wasn't a goodanalogy.
You will not build the slide.

True Cappanine will do what she really does,
which she's a professionalnudger right.

She'll suggest something and oh, she's a spark
and you're going to respond towhat she initiates in that spark
100%.
She is not here to do the work.
She is here to initiate themovement and the momentum and
will do which piece lights herup, that feels like she can
create.
So, for example, themanifesting generator.

(40:39):
Me, when I got asked to buildROI models, I loved building the
first one.
Then they're like well, youneed to maintain this.
I'm like, oh, no, I am notmaintaining anything.
The idea of me maintainingsomething, and especially for a
manifesto that's a puremanifesto.
No, I'm going to stay in thecreative flow while it feels new
and then I want nothing to dowith it once it becomes

(41:01):
something that now we're goingto tweak and we're going to
maintain.
No, yeah.

I have to have something new and generate.
You're right, I have togenerate something.

Now you will stay in deep pockets of creativity if
it's like you're writing a bookand it's brand new and it's
like you can write the wholebook as long as it feels like
they're creating something newand there's something new you're
bringing to the table.
If there's aspects of it you'relike we need to talk about our
systems.
You're like, yes, man, thoseare your pieces of the book,
right, because he's going totalk about the process, the

(41:31):
systems, the congruence, thethings that are like the
substance that's needed toevolve the work.
You're like here's what I see.
Let me put the chapter, laythem out.
You guys would do really wellto collaborate in that capacity,
but, yes, you're not here tobuild the slide deck.
Another thing for you and yourhusband to keep in mind you're
both emotional authority, butyour wave is not going to be the

(41:53):
same.
You both will have high highsand low lows and they may not be
cycling together.
If you have children, in yourcase, if one of your kids is a
projector and one of them has anopen solar plexus, they're
absorbing your emotional energyfrom both of you all the time.
I always tell my people withthe open solar plexus one of the
things you need to remember isnot my circus, not my monkeys,

(42:14):
not my circus, not my monkeys,not my circus Right, yasmin?
I tell you that all the timeYou're a pure generator.
This is where Yasmin can gettaken out.
If you're in one of your reallyhigh highs, kathleen, or one of
your really low lows and, bythe way, that's very natural,
I'm an emotional person too.
There's nothing wrong with you.
It is part of how you cycle.
Yasmin can pick up on that andall of a sudden be like oh, why

(42:34):
do I feel like I'm so sad today?
Now I just feel like I don'twant to do anything because he's
taking all your energy andmaking it his and getting sucked
into that melancholy Again.
When you understand, there'swhole different conversations.
The other thing for you,kathleen and this is, by the way
, yasmin, this will be the sameas what we talked about for
projectors, those that arepsychotypes, that are generators

(42:56):
.
Your best way to get what youneed out of Yasmin that feels
aligned is yes, no, this thatquestions, which is not your
natural state of askingquestions.
You are open-ended.
Don't ask questions your way.
Ask questions.
You would be like Yasmin doesthis feel good to you, yes or no
?
Like rapid fire, the faster youcan go, because he is all in
the now, yes, no, this, thatblack, white linear polarity,

(43:19):
like you, do not work that way.
You would do better if you saidso.
How do you feel about that?
What about this feels good toyou?
In what ways is this showing up?
So he needs to learn how to useopen-ended language to really
draw you out in what's popping,because oftentimes, as a
manifestor, you really strugglebecause that informed piece

(43:41):
kicks you in the ass, becauseyou have a hard time languaging
these sparks and theinspirations and the download.
And if you have to take toomuch time to language and
someone's not asking you in away that feels aligned, it can
shut down your creative spark aswell, because now you're like I
don't know.
Is that yes, no, I don't.
Versus how, what, in what ways?

(44:04):
Where?
Yes, totally, totally different.
That in and of itself is a gamechanger for people.

Well, so has this interview.
So has this episode Such as agame changer for me.
It's going to be a game changerfor those people who had the
opportunity to listen to thisand again I just want to thank
you so so much for everythingyou shared and, yasmin, thank
you for bringing this to me andto our audience, and I know it's

(44:30):
going to be a game changer.
There's my life and it's abeautiful life, Don't get me
wrong.
I think it's wonderful.
Especially what we're talkingabout today really defines the
method, if I can use that tocement a good relationship, and
I think with children, it'sreally important to have an
understanding when you'retransitioning.

(44:51):
We talk about this a little bitin family dynamics.
You know it changes when youretire and I'm going through
that now.
I have one daughter who seemsto insist on communicating on a
regular basis and she getsreally nervous if I mean, I'm
not a call your mom every daygirl.
So I think that something likethis to have a better

(45:14):
understanding if we couldcommunicate this to our close
friends and family for sure, itwould really help so much in
seeing a lighter, more joyfulrelationship as it changes.
This transition is not easy foryour family members either.

No, and I would be curious, just to name it, what
you said, to see if the daughterthat you're referencing has an
open throat and or is aprojector, because my guess is
she's one or both and has thisneed to be seen and recognized
and is not waiting for theopportunity to be called in.
And I wonder if this feelsaligned for you.
She talks all the time.

(45:53):
She's always sharing thoughts,ideas, wisdom, like her point of
view.
However, if you ask her forthat, does it feel different to
you on the back end?
So if it's one of those you'relike, wait a minute, she might
have just said something reallygood.
Can you repeat that?
I think that was really good.
Can she say the same thing?
She might be like oh, that wasmagical, like how did you know
that?
Did you get in that?
When you call her out directly,does it feel different in the

(46:16):
way she communicates?

Well, that's interesting, we'll see.

I'm going to have a phone call with her today,
because when I hear that indoing this work for six years, I
can hear nuances thatimmediately make me go.
Oh, because even though you'rea manifestor, kathleen, this is
another thing for you.
You also have a very strongprojector line, because your
five line is aligned that whileyou want to initiate and inform,
sometimes in the way you'releading others, you need people

(46:41):
to draw you out, to speak in thelanguage.
That's going to be how they canreceive it, because you're not
here for everybody.
Manifestors have a naturalrepelling aura, which means they
are trying to push away all thepeople that are not for them so
that they can find their littleposse of people that are where
they feel safe and feel likethey can do.
Because a lot of people don'tunderstand manifestors and will

(47:03):
say things like you're alwaysinitiating things, you're never
finishing things.
There's a lot of shame thatcomes in trying to put a
manifestor in the generatorworld, but it's that space.
So sometimes you need to bedrawn out, because the other
thing people will do isnaturally want to villainize or
make you their savior, because,as a visionary leader, they see
you having the solution thatsometimes people don't take

(47:27):
responsibility for themselvesbecause they're like well,
kathleen, I'll just fix it.

That's true, yes , but you and I have talked
about moving and changing anddoing all of these things in
retirement.
That's why we're having thisconversation today is to help
people understand the transitionstage and planning for it, and
I think it's so insightful.
It's wonderful that we can havethis.
I wonder if it's something thatyou can start and understand

(47:54):
and help with the planning.
So how far in advance do youthink it would be wise to have a
better understanding throughhuman design before we enter a
new chapter?

Yesterday, and the reason I say that is because I
do strategic work for businessowners.
I have a framework I use thathelps them get dialed into what
it is they're trying to build intheir business and we overlay
human design in that entireconversation from day one.
The sooner the better, becauseto your point you've got to
understand what lights me up,what feels aligned for me, what

(48:29):
is showing up that says, oh, Inever thought about that,
because I see so many peoplehave aha and those insightful
like sparks or downloads or justconnections.
The sooner you bring this intoyour conversation around
planning for your next chapter,whatever you want to call it
transition, the better.
Because if you go into thatplanning with the conditioning

(48:52):
and the guilt and the shamingand the programming of what
you've been currently living inand you were overly associated
in your identity with how youworked and who you were in that
title and, by the way, thehigher your title, the more
connected and identified you arewith it.
I've watched this oftransitioning C level executives
in their retirement.
This is the hardestconversation because they
identify their entire sense ofpurpose and meaning with that

(49:15):
title of C level whatever.
So for them it's absolutelycritical that they start
unpacking all of the masks andthe buildup and the ways that
they've been taught.
They have to perform to getinto that essence.
Otherwise you're building acircular plan.
That's the same thing over andover again.

(49:35):
You're not going to move into aspace that feels open and free
and peaceful and satisfying.
You're going to be more of thesame and you're going to put all
that pressure on yourself.

You just used a word that we haven't heard or
used and it's satisfying, and Ithink that brings a whole
different meaning to what weanticipate.
It sets the stage to reallybecome joyful in your approach
to life.

Yeah, and here's the irony of that 70% of the
population is a generator typemanifesting generator or
generator.
Do you know what theirsignature theme is?
For them to be in alignmentSatisfaction.
It is not about achievement.
It's not about how much stuffyou can get done.
It's not about accomplishments.
It's about satisfaction andfulfillment, and we do not have

(50:29):
a culture that understands whatthat means.
For a projector, it's aboutredefining success from a place
of well-being.
For a manifester, it's aboutpeace.
We don't have a culture rightnow.
So if you go into retirementwith the same old beliefs that
you have in conditioning, howare you going to get anywhere

(50:49):
close to peace, satisfaction,success from a place of
well-being, or excitement anddelight from a reflector?
Who's looking at the fullpotential of what we could
possibly step into as humanity?
We're nowhere near that.
So if you're building yourretirement plan from this old,
you're going to get a lot moreof the same of how much can I

(51:11):
produce and how much stuff am Idoing, and it's more and more
and more and more.
Instead of what, if I just letmyself be instead of do the
questions for a generator type,does this light you up and do
you have energy for it now.

I can see this to be a huge advantage, because
one of the statistics when wewere doing our research was the
depression rate, clinicaldepression rate and I think that
the transition of not knowingwhere I am, how do I fit in,
what am I going to do, and thepressure from people asking you
I was retired for three monthsand thought I'd go mad because

(51:47):
people kept asking me questionsabout whoa, what are you going
to do now?
Well, I don't know.
I'm just trying to figure itout, but this can really help.
Yes, there's going to be timeswhere you're kind of high and
low, but when you think one inthree actually are suffering
with clinical depression, that'samazing.
I spoke to a physician thismorning earlier and when I

(52:10):
mentioned those stats to him hejust nodded and said yes, and
that's what's documented.

I would say that those numbers are probably even
bigger, and one of the thingsyou can actually see where you
are prone to depression in yourchart here are new, more than
likely out of alignment.
First, and, yes, we have aculture that's not even set up
for how we're naturally wiredcollectively, so no wonder why

(52:40):
people feel so out of alignment.
I've never seen people so outof alignment as what's going on
currently, right now.
It's why everything that'shappening around us on social
media and all of that noise isjust a reflection and projection
of the state of well-being orlack of well-being, because
what's changing our metric ofsuccess is not about money and

(53:01):
about how much we do.
It's about our own well-beingand how much well-being we're
putting into the world, andthat's what's shifting.
And unless we understand that,we're going to have a really,
really bumpy ride trying to besomething that we're not
supposed to be, and a lot ofpeople are feeling that.

Wow, this is such a powerful conversation.
Thank you so much, candia.
I feel like we could talk forhours and days and weeks, which
we have, and I'm curious forthose who are interested in
learning more about either humandesign, learning more about you
and your work how do people getstarted?

I would say, whether you choose to do this
with me or someone else, is todo a foundational reading.
Whoever is speaking the languagethat feels more expansive and
opening, because there arepeople out there doing human
design and it's coming from avery scarce lacking.
Here's where you're broken.
Here's what you need to fix.
I would not suggest you go fromthat path, but get a reading to
understand the basicfoundational pieces of how

(54:00):
you're wired, to see whatresonates, and then you will
know whether or not you want togo deeper in that exploration or
if that's enough for you tostart thinking about what's next
in your life at this juncture.
And so I would say get yourchart.
You can get your chart for free, but then have somebody who
knows how to interpret it walkyou through the foundational

(54:21):
pieces of it.
I think too many people go downrabbit holes where then they
get overloaded and stuck,because there is a lot of
information, there's a lot ofinformation that hasn't been
fully synthesized.
So find a path where itresonates to have somebody help
you tap into which pieces toexplore first.

So, yasmin, this is one thing that he's really
good at he's going to put thingsin the show notes and people
can actually find the help thatthey need.
And I want to just take amoment now to just thank you so,
so much for the insight thatyou've given us today.
Certainly, yasmin has had more,but this has been kind of a
jumping in the pool for me and,needless to say, I have been

(55:02):
enriched because of it.
I hope that people findtremendous value in what you've
shared with us today and, tothis point, I want them to
subscribe.
You know, we're all aboutsharing and giving and making
sure that our audience has whatthey need, and I think you've
given them a wonderful piece ofthat today.

Thank you so much, truly been an honor.
I really appreciate having thisconversation.

Thank you, candi.
You, your work, your wisdom,your heart have been such a gift
, not only for me, but also forus and for our community as well
, and know that the impact thatyou're making is so profound,
and please continue to do that,and we can't wait to continue on
this journey with you as welland share the possibilities on

(55:48):
this next chapter.

So thank you so much.
Thank you.
I love what you're doing and Ihave a lot of clients that show
up in this space.
Transition, especially emptynesters, and retirement it's the
age we're at and it's amazingthe conversations, how they can
change.
Thank you both very much forthe invitation.
I feel deeply honored.
Thank you.

Thank you Until we see you next time.

For those who are interested in learning more
about working with Candi andscheduling a personal reading,
visit wwwcandibaroncom.
We will also include links toour website, book and resources

(56:29):
in our show notes atwwwrealretirementshowcom.
Thank you for taking the timeto join us today.
If you enjoyed this episode orfound it valuable, please
subscribe, follow or leave acomment or review on your
favorite platform.
If you have friends, clients orloved ones who are retired or

(56:51):
thinking about retirement, weinvite you to share this show
with them.
Remember, retirement is ajoyful journey we get to
experience together.
Join us next week for anotherreal retirement conversation.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 3: Finding Alignment, Purpose, and Relationship Harmony in Retirement through Human Design

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Episode 3: Finding Alignment, Purpose, and Relationship Harmony in Retirement through Human Design

1. Stuff You Should Know