August 4, 2024 • 30 mins
Transform Your Pain into Power Through Forgiveness and Courage
In this powerful episode, Kate Southall, better known as The Courageous Inspirer, shares a deeply personal story of survival and resilience, highlighting her journey from a childhood marked by trauma in a cult to finding her voice and power as a coach. Listen to how forgiveness became the key to her transformation and learn about her mission to empower other women. Gemma Serenity, your host, and Kate Southall, her guest, discuss the significance of self-acceptance and the courage to rewrite one’s identity, emphasizing that every day offers a new chapter to embrace life’s possibilities and find inner peace.
What you’ll learn- Discover the transformative power of self-forgiveness in healing from trauma.
- Explore the role of courage and authenticity in creating a meaningful life after adversity.
- Uncover the importance of recognizing and redefining your identity beyond your past experiences.
- Kate's introduction and purpose (00:01:43)
- Description of childhood cult experience (00:02:16)
- Mental and physical abuse throughout life (00:03:05)
- Shift to healing and forgiveness (00:05:02)
- Impact of emotional healing on identity (00:08:39)
- Self-forgiveness (00:12:45)
- Comparison of past pain to present (00:13:51)
- Understanding empowerment through forgiveness (00:15:34)
- Continuous work on self-care and growth (00:16:21)
- Mind-body connection and health indicators (00:22:20)
- Kate Southall's Clarity Care and Courage program (00:24:02)
- Freedom Empowerment and Impact's mission (00:26:47)
Kate Southall's Bio KATE is....
A Highly Mastered Entrepreneur, 6-7 multi-figure success, International Best Seller Author and Certified Business, Life & Mindset Coach - best known as The Courageous Inspirer.
She represents being courageous and living the life you truly desire.
After many years of sacrificing the life she deserved, Kate made a choice to create financial freedom for herself and her son, to take adventures, to dare greatly, to have a healthy mind and healthy body and to be the best version of herself.
Kate was a successful owner of a Private TAFE for more than 15 years. With qualifications in Psychology, Business and Marketing she inspired and created opportunities for over 10,000 students and 200 employees Australia wide. Kate then reached a time in her life where she realised that she was not living her true purpose and that her health was in great jeopardy. Living with Diabetes Type 1 she recognised a need to lifestyle freedom.
She started a Hiking and Fitness Business in 2016 and added to her qualifications Degrees in Naturopathy, Nutritional Medicine and Fitness Instructoring. In 2020 she became a Certified Coach in Business, Life & Mindset Coaching and in 2022 a Masters in NLP. She now works as a Business and Mindset Coach for women in business and has helped thousands of women find their courage to ask for MORE in life.
Kate loves coaching her clients to follow their true passion and purpose and to achieve optimal health in both MIND and BODY. She is dedicated to a truly holistic approach to life by encompassing each of the business, physical, emotional and spiritual elements. Kate’s goal is to empower and educate women in business to take charge of their life, through body awareness and the understanding of work/life balance.
Join her Courageous Community on FacebookWomen Who Dare To Be Great Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/854270108738867
Subscribe to her YouTube ChannelMark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Gemma Serenity (00:00):
Welcome to Real Talk, real Women, reaking
the Silence Around Abuse.
I am Gemma Serenity Gorokoff, your host,
and today, coming from Melbourne, australia,
we have Kate Southall joining us.
Kate is a very special and unique kind of
person A generous heart, the desire to
(00:23):
encourage, to inspire, to coach, to help to
hold space for your transformation when you
are ready to step into your greatness and
your awesomeness.
I met her serendipity, you know on Facebook
Messenger.
From time to time, we just connect and say,
hey, do you want to go here and there?
(00:43):
Yeah, sure, and we start to talk, and I was
very surprised because she started inviting
me to a four-hour free masterclass about, I
think it was mindset mastery, and I was
exactly at that moment in time thinking,
okay, self-mastery is one of the big topics
(01:08):
that I'm teaching about in my academy on
gmacademy.
That is huge.
And she invites me to something that is
very similar to what I'm doing and I'm here.
Yeah, sure, absolutely.
What I did not expect is the level of
transformation during these four hours and
(01:29):
how amazing.
I actually got to know her as a real person
and now we are working together, we are
building together, we are growing together
and we are inviting you to join the team.
So welcome, Kate, we have things to talk
about today, right, yes, we do All right.
(01:53):
So, as we are on Real Talk, eal Women,
breaking the Silence Around Abuse, can you
please introduce yourself some part of your
story, of course, with an emphasis on the
kind of abuse you overcame in?
Your life it can be everything from
self-abuse to domestic violence.
Everything in between is included in that.
Kate Southall (02:13):
All right yes, it began at a very, very,
very early age, in a cult environment.
So, I was taken into a cult by my mother at
the age of seven and was selected by the
main house within the cult environment.
So, the abuse started very early by
(02:35):
multiple people in that community.
That occurred for a couple of years until
my mum actually escaped and we were sort of
dropped off into the street at that stage.
So, the abuse continued on the streets.
I never went down the path of prostitution
but obviously, living on the streets it's
(02:56):
pretty tough and you're abused in so many
different ways and the abuse continued
pretty much all through my life because I
was choosing men to continue that abuse.
So mental abuse, physical abuse, self-abuse
from a level of when I was diagnosed with
type 1 diabetes, I can honestly which I've
(03:19):
probably never said before except right now
in honesty that I tried to overgive myself
insulin on at least half a dozen situations
(03:50):
which should have probably ended.
Gemma Serenity (03:55):
That can resonate a lot of different things.
I'm not sure what was your experience as a
kid from 7 to 11 years old, 12 years old,
yeah.
So what was going on in that cult?
Kate Southall (04:12):
I was raped on basically a daily basis.
So, I was either, you know, abused by the
leaders because I was chosen by the main
house, but then I was given to others
within that cult environment, so that abuse
(04:33):
was almost daily for at least two or three
years.
Gemma Serenity (04:37):
It's awful, it's terrible, it's awful, okay,
it's terrible, okay.
So, you had to actually find your way to
grace, to forgiveness, to building a
(05:00):
powerful connection with the spiritual part
around you in order to heal that.
That's deeply ingrained, especially in that
period of time
Kate Southall (05:13):
and mentally, I guess the
what they did in this environment was that
when we entered, I was there with my
15-year-old sister.
When we entered the cult, we were separated
from our mother, so we actually weren't
allowed to have any contact with her.
(05:34):
So, we may have eaten in the main kind of
community hall on sort of a long table
environment, and she might have been even
opposite of me.
However, I was not allowed to make eye
contact, or I was really severely beaten.
So, you know, I was in, I was in a very
unusual position because I was being
(05:55):
physically abused.
I had my mother present, but I wasn't
allowed to communicate with my mother at
all about what was going on.
And over those three years I'm sure that
she was very aware of possibly what was
happening.
But and when she escaped, she had she made
no attempt to take us with her.
(06:17):
She actually escaped and left us behind,
and it was the decision of that cult, I
guess, from a safety point of view, where
they literally just drove us off and
dropped us off in the streets.
So, I didn't make contact with my mother
for many years after.
We never, we never found where she was
(06:39):
until a long time afterwards
Gemma Serenity (06:42):
Is she still alive to this day, or we don't
know?
Kate Southall (06:46):
yes, she's still alive and quite an amazing
thing at the moment it's.
I have to kind of laugh in it because I'm
sure the universe is asking me to dive in
this a little bit, but she's literally
moved into the next suburb of where I live.
I haven't seen yet, I haven't bumped into
her yet, I don't you know who knows what
(07:08):
will happen then.
But yeah, it's quite amazing.
There's obviously something I'm needing to
learn at this point of my life.
But yeah, she's literally five minutes down
the road.
Gemma Serenity (07:20):
Goodness, that's fabulous.
So we are all creator of our own lives, but
co-creator with other people.
And when, at a young age, like you, you get
to be forced into abuse in a way that you
(07:44):
do not feel empowered to say no, you do not
have anything to say, you do not have a say
about your life and suddenly you are
abandoned, like now, go get it for yourself
or whatever it is, it's completely
unsettling.
However, there is a moment when, even
(08:07):
though you are very young, even though you
have been broken in many, many ways during
that period of time, instead of growing but
like crushed, there is a moment when you
choose different for yourself.
I know who you are today.
I know the super wonderful powerhouse,
(08:28):
spiritually connected, helping, encouraging.
I know the value you are today.
What happened at the pivotal moment when
you decided your identity, in spite of the
abuse you endured?
What happened to you?
(08:49):
What?
Kate Southall (08:53):
It's when I took the time to understand the
importance of actually doing some work on
yourself.
So I used success, you know, being
courageously successful in business, in
life.
I created a world like that, an imposter
world, and you know, I had all the shiny
(09:16):
objects, I had all the things that everyone
thought I must have, you know, had a very
wonderful life in every way, and I never
spoke about anything about my past ever,
not even to my partners, to nobody.
And then I came almost to rock bottom in
that.
So, in that career, in that sort of life,
my health just absolutely collapsed, my
(09:37):
business collapsed, my identity of success
collapsed, and it made me then only see me.
I had no way of kind of hiding behind all
the other things that I could sort of put
in front of me and I made a decision at
that point to not keep going down that road.
I made the decision at that point to pack
(09:59):
up my you know four-year-old son at that
time and come back up to a location that I
knew that I had to heal, and I spent
literally about 8 to 12 months walking
about, it would be on average 10 to 20
kilometers a day and just not allowing any
(10:20):
distraction, only allowing myself to hear
me.
So, I put myself in an absolute mindful
sort of space and it was very painful.
I actually haven't cried from that moment
when I was first raped.
Never, never actually had a moment of tear.
(10:44):
So, I spent a lot of time in the forest on
my own, emotionally, allowing myself to
feel, emotionally, enabling myself to, you
know, reflect back and try and find some
type of forgiveness.
I'd always kind of blamed myself, I'd
always kind of blamed myself.
I'd always, you know, driven myself so hard
(11:06):
and you know, just to be the iron lady and
succeed in everything because I was being
punished in some way.
You know that was my fault that all of that
occurred.
So, I allowed that forgiveness, not just
for the situation or for the people that
were involved.
I won't forget.
But I knew that I had to forgive.
But in that it was when I became at that
(11:29):
point of self-forgiveness.
So the moment that I allowed myself to
forgive me and then look back on all that
had happened and yeah, I continued that
abuse, you know, all the way through it
followed me.
It never left me which I don't think it
does unless you truly forgive yourself.
It followed me, it played out in my life.
(11:51):
It demonstrated itself in my health, in
what was going on, in the abusive
relationships I continued to be in.
It was always there.
So it wasn't until that moment that I
accepted that that was the life that I had
up to that point.
But rather than looking back and finding
all the fault in it and the anger in it, I
(12:12):
looked at all the things that it's made me
today, all the, all the courage that I had,
the want to survive the moments with.
Maybe I didn't, but that's okay, you know
what I mean.
That's what that, that is what it was.
Now is different.
You know what I mean and me moving forward
can be very different.
(12:32):
So, it was when I made the decision to
forgive to forgive those but, more
importantly, to forgive me.
Gemma Serenity (12:43):
Yes, that forgiveness is a path to
redemption, is a path to freedom from the
bondage of pain, of emotional pain that
keeps on running in the back of our mind,
(13:05):
sometimes consciously, sometimes
unconsciously, but still there.
And when we do actually go through the
forgiveness process and we release and
accept that it is no more hurting, it is
what it is and it doesn't hurt anymore, it
is okay, it was that way, and there is a
(13:34):
new version that birthing from that.
A new version that is completely
transformed, like a phoenix rising from the
ashes right
Kate Southall (13:39):
and my courage has always been here.
I believe that I was born courageous and I
often look at it that you know.
Sure, if I could, if I could rewrite the
story of my life, yeah, maybe I would take
some of that out.
There's no, you know, if I had the choice,
but for whatever reason, I feel quite
special and unique, that for whatever
(14:01):
reason, the universe has felt that that I'm
somebody that perhaps was able to go
through all of those horrific times in my
life to then be able to tell my story.
So the the full completion for me in this
is one that forgiveness level, but then to
actually speak my truth, which is something
(14:23):
that's really important to me.
So you know the work that I do on myself
and with the women I work with.
It's about in the courage area.
It's about speaking your truth.
You know I talk about it now.
I talk about it in my own way, like this is
the first time that I have actually ever
spoken about it at this level, but I talk
(14:44):
about it and I and I allow the discussion,
I allow people to see that I'm not this.
You know, high, achieving, successful,
every, got everything.
You know going woman, yeah, something, some
things I do.
There's a lot more to me.
There's reasons why I'm here and I talk
about the things I talk about and I I'm
generous the way that I'm generous and I
(15:05):
want to have the impact I want because of
my story.
You know that there is.
You don't have to be defined by that past
story.
You can rewrite your future.
Gemma Serenity (15:18):
That's a fact and that is really something
I would like the audience to understand.
We are empowered naturally, intrinsically,
to design who we are, who we want to be,
(15:39):
who we become and how people perceive us.
We are able to choose, and only through the
forgiveness process to release all the hurt
and all the rage and all the anger and
everything that is like injustice that you
(16:01):
have suffered and endured.
only through that forgiveness of self can
you actually move forward in a beautiful
life, like rising after abuse, like like
okay, you are still here around, it's a
good news, you can still work on yourself
(16:22):
and you can still have a wonderful life
Kate Southall (16:26):
and it is constant work, like I do say that,
like you know, if, if you are, if you go
through trauma at the sort of level that
that I have over a long period of time, and
then you know haven't got that level of
support from mother or father or whoever it
is, so you feel very solo in that.
(16:47):
You know it's a dark place and it's
something that constantly has to be, you
know, looked at and allowed to be looked at.
You know I journal every day about it, I
talk about it as much as I can, I reflect
every evening on me and the decisions that
I've made, even in that day, and keep in
touch with all those things that trigger
and have triggered me, to make sure that
(17:10):
you know I'm always moving forward, that
it's that thing with that rewrite of your
story I love nothing more.
I see each day as a blank page in a future
book and it's about reflecting on the the
page before and then, you know, making the
next page even better, even more exciting
and even more challenging, and whatever it
might be, but it's, it's a continual book.
(17:31):
Your life, I think, should be seen as a
continual book, not defined by one moment,
not one moment in time
Gemma Serenity (17:40):
it's interesting what you say, because
oftentimes what we do not realize is that
we allow one moment in time to define
ourselves and we run with that identity for
decades and decades and decades until one
day, just one day, we realize oh my gosh,
where do I come from?
Right, what did I put as an identity on me?
(18:05):
And I remember a.
I think she was I don't know 23 years old.
It was one of my son's girlfriends for a
moment, if you want, and I remember she was
asking me to a mentor, like I don't know
who I am.
Yeah, that's an interesting question,
because you actually choose who you want to
(18:27):
be.
You can discover who you have chosen
previously to be.
That still plays out today, but that is a
choice.
If you choose to try on the identity that
someone in your surrounding labels you
Kate Southall (18:47):
and finding that can be different for every
single person.
You know that's what I believe and I think
you know we can't find the answers from
somebody else.
You know I say to my clients all the time
and I'm sure they always oh my God, she's
saying it again is I always say you've got
the answer?
So when it comes to this situation, if
you've been a victim, if you've been in
(19:08):
that sort of place, you've got to find a
way for forgiveness.
So you can't just seek the answer or be
given the answer.
You have the answer.
So you've got to create whatever it takes
for that to be seen.
And for me it was literally moving to a
location that I knew would allow me to open
(19:30):
up to that.
And I gave myself the time.
I gave myself that mindful time and put
myself in environment like nature for me.
That's what kind of inspires me in that, in
that moment that allowed me that process.
So go, you've got to go and find it, and
sometimes that can take a little bit of
work, but it's worth it.
(19:51):
It's worth trying to work out how you can
actually start that forgiveness, how you
can start coming from a place of love, of
who you are, not anger, fear, you know,
hate, sadness, all those negative emotions
that'll just play out negatively in our
lives.
Moving forward.
Gemma Serenity (20:13):
And our body is an excellent feedback mesh,
because whatever you think and whatever you
believe in the deepest of your core will
eventually show up in your body,
Kate Southall (20:27):
absolutely
One way or for, at the peak of my success.
So around about the 28,.
I was 28 when I was first a
multimillionaire, when my businesses were,
you know, I started very early.
I lost a kidney and then, you know, my next
time of absolute fame, you know, was around
(20:48):
that 31, 32 years of age, when again I
gained, you know, a lot, of, a lot of high
opinion and my business was doing very well
and I had it all.
I had all the cars and the houses, I got
diabetes, type one, and you know, and then
that's that kind of story for me has played
out all the way through and it still does,
(21:09):
you know, it still does.
In some ways For me it's an indication that
more work needs to be done.
So again, I try and look at it not so much
like judgment of self, criticism of self
here I've done it again.
It's like okay, okay, well, now we're going
to have to reset, now we're going to have
to do the work again, we're going to have
to think about this.
We're going to have to work out what you
need to do to go back to that place of
(21:31):
forgiveness.
That's why I said it's an ongoing process,
but your body absolutely will often be
demonstrating what's going on up here.
You know what's going on in the mind.
Gemma Serenity (21:51):
It's amazing when you really really become
conscious of that, because that actually
empowers you to make the decision how do
you want to to go through life from now on
with that new things that just showed up in
your body, or that new experience that you
did not expect, that absolutely change the
trajectory of your life again?
(22:12):
But that starts from within.
There is a spiritual solution to every
problem.
Kate Southall (22:18):
that's a fact, and there is also a
energetic reason for every everything going
on in your body and in your life and I know
that you love this saying about me because
it's it's very, it very much kind of
illustrates, you know, my understanding of
(22:39):
living courageously and it's, you know, you
needadventurehave mind, body awesomeness
connection.
Um, yeah, I remember that you were like oh
my god, that's so funny.
Yeah, because it's normally mind, body,
soul, you know, and but for me it's, it's,
you know, it's just how I've.
I've created who I am today by seeing these
things in my life.
Yes, I'm a place of courage, but you know
(23:01):
what?
I'm not giving up because I want to venture,
you know, I want to be awesome, I want to
experience everything that I can, and I
know that I'm going to get there.
I've just taken a slightly different,
harder road than maybe some others.
Gemma Serenity (23:15):
That's fascinating so tell us a little bit
about your business, how?
I know all those masterclass, but how do
you actually make the world a better place?
What do you put out?
A lot, I know, but I'm going to allow you
to say it so that people can hear it.
Kate Southall (23:38):
I've really consciously tried to put all of
the scars, all the bumps, all the successes
all the knowledge, all the courage, all the
adventure, all the things that I've So,
done in my world.
(24:20):
you canknow, how you
And again, it's been created from a place
of forgiveness, so there's a lot of love in
it and I've included that in all that I
give now to other women.
So I give this sort of place of you.
Know, my program is all about clarity, care
and courage.
So everything that I do with the women that
I work with is around finding that clarity
of you.
You know it's that story.
You know that's where I go in there.
You know who are you truly, who could you
potentially be?
You know how can you break through the fear,
how can you let go of the anger.
You know how can you get to that place of
forgiveness and what is the life that you
truly want to live.
What is that life?
And then I move into, which is funny,
because sometimes I get women say to me
yeah, but you've had so many things go
wrong health-wise for you.
And I'm like, yeah, but that's why I work
(24:40):
in care, because things go wrong
health-wise for you.
And I'm like, yeah, but that's why I work
in care, because you know I'mInspirer I'm a
testament, I'm here living, I'm a living
sort of case of um, if you don't deal with
this, you know, if you don't gain that
clarity of your why and your purpose and go
for it, it will play out negatively, not
just around you, you know, externally it
(25:01):
will internally.
So So, level of care, that love, that
self-compassion that I didn't have for an
incredibly long time.
So you know it and and I'm still got work
here and that's being honest, gemma like in
the place of love, you know I have to work
hard on fighting those limiting beliefs
that I am here and I deserve to be loved.
(25:23):
But I'm understanding that I have to love
myself deep enough for order for me to see
the love that then I deserve.
So that area of care goes, that level of
depth, it's really deep in self-compassion,
self-love, and if you want to be successful
in all that you want to be in life, I
believe that you need to treat yourself
(25:43):
with that level of respect.
And then, obviously, courage.
For me, everything about what I do and
known
as the Courageous Inspire Coach, I
absolutely just love living courageously
and I love watching women around me living
courageously and in there it's about that
sort of speaking your truth.
But it's even more than that.
(26:05):
You know it's doing it.
It's doing the things it's required, doing
the work that's required and not letting
anything hold you back.
So the courageous area for me.
I move that into everything and all that I
do with the women that I work with and I
hope that I inspire others by telling my
story and living my life and being honest
and authentic with integrity, at that level
(26:27):
that you can, regardless of where you've
come from, regardless of your experiences,
you can write your future story
Gemma Serenity (26:35):
How amazing is that!
There is a key concept, that key element of
forgiveness, of choice, of courage and of
constantly continue to do that shadow work,
do that inner work like find out what are
(26:59):
those triggers in you and where they come
from, and what is the belief that leads to
that frustration, because it doesn't work
the way you expect it to be through your
belief.
But if you would believe something else,
how would that play out?
And it will play out so differently.
(27:19):
And this is where you realize there is not
one truth.
There is what you believe to be true.
Kate Southall (27:29):
Yeah, yeah, and we all have the power
equally to succeed in anything that we want
to in life, regardless of you know the
injustices, or you know, and I'm not taking
it away from that, but you can be whoever
you want to be.
We all still have that power that, as I
(27:51):
said before, that moment doesn't need to
define who you become.
You've still got that power to be
courageous.
You can still seek that clarity and you've
just got to do it with a lot of self-care
Gemma Serenity (28:07):
it's so true
All right, kate, if people want to connect
with you, what is your main website or your
link that you tell people to find you?
Kate Southall (28:18):
yeah, so the website's called freedom,
empowerment and impact, so that's the name
of the website, um, and we also have a, a
courageous group.
So this is a private facebook group where I
work with and support, and you know what
I'm like.
There's a lot of good stuff that goes in
there, um, and I'm regularly running master.
(28:40):
I'm regularly running things that offer
topics in the areas that I master in around
that clarity, care and courage.
So the website is one option where your
freedom, empowerment and impact, but
certainly the group page, which I'm not
sure if I drop in or I give you and you can
get that out if it needs to be let out.
Gemma Serenity (29:01):
Yeah, we're going to make sure to put all
that information into description to allow
people to actually find you, click and
discover their own freedom, their own
empowerment, their own courage.
Kate Southall (29:13):
That's right, that's right Right.
Gemma Serenity (29:17):
Mm-hmm.
Wonderful Kate.
Thank you for holding space for constant
growth, constant betterment, improvement,
optimization of our life to be the closest
to our highest spiritual evolution possible.
Thank you blessed, holding space for that
(29:44):
like that.
Kate Southall (29:44):
Yeah, it's a it's an honor to have the have
that, uh, that that role that I play.
Like I said, you know it's it's an honor.
I feel very blessed and I say it often um
to be able to inspire and continue to
inspire.
Welcome to Real Talk, real Women, reaking
the Silence Around Abuse.
I am Gemma Serenity Gorokoff, your host,
and today, coming from Melbourne, australia,
we have Kate Southall joining us.
Kate is a very special and unique kind of
person A generous heart, the desire to
(00:23):
encourage, to inspire, to coach, to help to
hold space for your transformation when you
are ready to step into your greatness and
your awesomeness.
I met her serendipity, you know on Facebook
Messenger.
From time to time, we just connect and say,
hey, do you want to go here and there?
(00:43):
Yeah, sure, and we start to talk, and I was
very surprised because she started inviting
me to a four-hour free masterclass about, I
think it was mindset mastery, and I was
exactly at that moment in time thinking,
okay, self-mastery is one of the big topics
(01:08):
that I'm teaching about in my academy on
gmacademy.
That is huge.
And she invites me to something that is
very similar to what I'm doing and I'm here.
Yeah, sure, absolutely.
What I did not expect is the level of
transformation during these four hours and
(01:29):
how amazing.
I actually got to know her as a real person
and now we are working together, we are
building together, we are growing together
and we are inviting you to join the team.
So welcome, Kate, we have things to talk
about today, right, yes, we do All right.
(01:53):
So, as we are on Real Talk, eal Women,
breaking the Silence Around Abuse, can you
please introduce yourself some part of your
story, of course, with an emphasis on the
kind of abuse you overcame in?
Your life it can be everything from
self-abuse to domestic violence.
Everything in between is included in that.
Kate Southall (02:13):
All right yes, it began at a very, very,
very early age, in a cult environment.
So, I was taken into a cult by my mother at
the age of seven and was selected by the
main house within the cult environment.
So, the abuse started very early by
(02:35):
multiple people in that community.
That occurred for a couple of years until
my mum actually escaped and we were sort of
dropped off into the street at that stage.
So, the abuse continued on the streets.
I never went down the path of prostitution
but obviously, living on the streets it's
(02:56):
pretty tough and you're abused in so many
different ways and the abuse continued
pretty much all through my life because I
was choosing men to continue that abuse.
So mental abuse, physical abuse, self-abuse
from a level of when I was diagnosed with
type 1 diabetes, I can honestly which I've
(03:19):
probably never said before except right now
in honesty that I tried to overgive myself
insulin on at least half a dozen situations
(03:50):
which should have probably ended.
Gemma Serenity (03:55):
That can resonate a lot of different things.
I'm not sure what was your experience as a
kid from 7 to 11 years old, 12 years old,
yeah.
So what was going on in that cult?
Kate Southall (04:12):
I was raped on basically a daily basis.
So, I was either, you know, abused by the
leaders because I was chosen by the main
house, but then I was given to others
within that cult environment, so that abuse
(04:33):
was almost daily for at least two or three
years.
Gemma Serenity (04:37):
It's awful, it's terrible, it's awful, okay,
it's terrible, okay.
So, you had to actually find your way to
grace, to forgiveness, to building a
(05:00):
powerful connection with the spiritual part
around you in order to heal that.
That's deeply ingrained, especially in that
period of time
Kate Southall (05:13):
and mentally, I guess the
what they did in this environment was that
when we entered, I was there with my
15-year-old sister.
When we entered the cult, we were separated
from our mother, so we actually weren't
allowed to have any contact with her.
(05:34):
So, we may have eaten in the main kind of
community hall on sort of a long table
environment, and she might have been even
opposite of me.
However, I was not allowed to make eye
contact, or I was really severely beaten.
So, you know, I was in, I was in a very
unusual position because I was being
(05:55):
physically abused.
I had my mother present, but I wasn't
allowed to communicate with my mother at
all about what was going on.
And over those three years I'm sure that
she was very aware of possibly what was
happening.
But and when she escaped, she had she made
no attempt to take us with her.
(06:17):
She actually escaped and left us behind,
and it was the decision of that cult, I
guess, from a safety point of view, where
they literally just drove us off and
dropped us off in the streets.
So, I didn't make contact with my mother
for many years after.
We never, we never found where she was
(06:39):
until a long time afterwards
Gemma Serenity (06:42):
Is she still alive to this day, or we don't
know?
Kate Southall (06:46):
yes, she's still alive and quite an amazing
thing at the moment it's.
I have to kind of laugh in it because I'm
sure the universe is asking me to dive in
this a little bit, but she's literally
moved into the next suburb of where I live.
I haven't seen yet, I haven't bumped into
her yet, I don't you know who knows what
(07:08):
will happen then.
But yeah, it's quite amazing.
There's obviously something I'm needing to
learn at this point of my life.
But yeah, she's literally five minutes down
the road.
Gemma Serenity (07:20):
Goodness, that's fabulous.
So we are all creator of our own lives, but
co-creator with other people.
And when, at a young age, like you, you get
to be forced into abuse in a way that you
(07:44):
do not feel empowered to say no, you do not
have anything to say, you do not have a say
about your life and suddenly you are
abandoned, like now, go get it for yourself
or whatever it is, it's completely
unsettling.
However, there is a moment when, even
(08:07):
though you are very young, even though you
have been broken in many, many ways during
that period of time, instead of growing but
like crushed, there is a moment when you
choose different for yourself.
I know who you are today.
I know the super wonderful powerhouse,
(08:28):
spiritually connected, helping, encouraging.
I know the value you are today.
What happened at the pivotal moment when
you decided your identity, in spite of the
abuse you endured?
What happened to you?
(08:49):
What?
Kate Southall (08:53):
It's when I took the time to understand the
importance of actually doing some work on
yourself.
So I used success, you know, being
courageously successful in business, in
life.
I created a world like that, an imposter
world, and you know, I had all the shiny
(09:16):
objects, I had all the things that everyone
thought I must have, you know, had a very
wonderful life in every way, and I never
spoke about anything about my past ever,
not even to my partners, to nobody.
And then I came almost to rock bottom in
that.
So, in that career, in that sort of life,
my health just absolutely collapsed, my
(09:37):
business collapsed, my identity of success
collapsed, and it made me then only see me.
I had no way of kind of hiding behind all
the other things that I could sort of put
in front of me and I made a decision at
that point to not keep going down that road.
I made the decision at that point to pack
(09:59):
up my you know four-year-old son at that
time and come back up to a location that I
knew that I had to heal, and I spent
literally about 8 to 12 months walking
about, it would be on average 10 to 20
kilometers a day and just not allowing any
(10:20):
distraction, only allowing myself to hear
me.
So, I put myself in an absolute mindful
sort of space and it was very painful.
I actually haven't cried from that moment
when I was first raped.
Never, never actually had a moment of tear.
(10:44):
So, I spent a lot of time in the forest on
my own, emotionally, allowing myself to
feel, emotionally, enabling myself to, you
know, reflect back and try and find some
type of forgiveness.
I'd always kind of blamed myself, I'd
always kind of blamed myself.
I'd always, you know, driven myself so hard
(11:06):
and you know, just to be the iron lady and
succeed in everything because I was being
punished in some way.
You know that was my fault that all of that
occurred.
So, I allowed that forgiveness, not just
for the situation or for the people that
were involved.
I won't forget.
But I knew that I had to forgive.
But in that it was when I became at that
(11:29):
point of self-forgiveness.
So the moment that I allowed myself to
forgive me and then look back on all that
had happened and yeah, I continued that
abuse, you know, all the way through it
followed me.
It never left me which I don't think it
does unless you truly forgive yourself.
It followed me, it played out in my life.
(11:51):
It demonstrated itself in my health, in
what was going on, in the abusive
relationships I continued to be in.
It was always there.
So it wasn't until that moment that I
accepted that that was the life that I had
up to that point.
But rather than looking back and finding
all the fault in it and the anger in it, I
(12:12):
looked at all the things that it's made me
today, all the, all the courage that I had,
the want to survive the moments with.
Maybe I didn't, but that's okay, you know
what I mean.
That's what that, that is what it was.
Now is different.
You know what I mean and me moving forward
can be very different.
(12:32):
So, it was when I made the decision to
forgive to forgive those but, more
importantly, to forgive me.
Gemma Serenity (12:43):
Yes, that forgiveness is a path to
redemption, is a path to freedom from the
bondage of pain, of emotional pain that
keeps on running in the back of our mind,
(13:05):
sometimes consciously, sometimes
unconsciously, but still there.
And when we do actually go through the
forgiveness process and we release and
accept that it is no more hurting, it is
what it is and it doesn't hurt anymore, it
is okay, it was that way, and there is a
(13:34):
new version that birthing from that.
A new version that is completely
transformed, like a phoenix rising from the
ashes right
Kate Southall (13:39):
and my courage has always been here.
I believe that I was born courageous and I
often look at it that you know.
Sure, if I could, if I could rewrite the
story of my life, yeah, maybe I would take
some of that out.
There's no, you know, if I had the choice,
but for whatever reason, I feel quite
special and unique, that for whatever
(14:01):
reason, the universe has felt that that I'm
somebody that perhaps was able to go
through all of those horrific times in my
life to then be able to tell my story.
So the the full completion for me in this
is one that forgiveness level, but then to
actually speak my truth, which is something
(14:23):
that's really important to me.
So you know the work that I do on myself
and with the women I work with.
It's about in the courage area.
It's about speaking your truth.
You know I talk about it now.
I talk about it in my own way, like this is
the first time that I have actually ever
spoken about it at this level, but I talk
(14:44):
about it and I and I allow the discussion,
I allow people to see that I'm not this.
You know, high, achieving, successful,
every, got everything.
You know going woman, yeah, something, some
things I do.
There's a lot more to me.
There's reasons why I'm here and I talk
about the things I talk about and I I'm
generous the way that I'm generous and I
(15:05):
want to have the impact I want because of
my story.
You know that there is.
You don't have to be defined by that past
story.
You can rewrite your future.
Gemma Serenity (15:18):
That's a fact and that is really something
I would like the audience to understand.
We are empowered naturally, intrinsically,
to design who we are, who we want to be,
(15:39):
who we become and how people perceive us.
We are able to choose, and only through the
forgiveness process to release all the hurt
and all the rage and all the anger and
everything that is like injustice that you
(16:01):
have suffered and endured.
only through that forgiveness of self can
you actually move forward in a beautiful
life, like rising after abuse, like like
okay, you are still here around, it's a
good news, you can still work on yourself
(16:22):
and you can still have a wonderful life
Kate Southall (16:26):
and it is constant work, like I do say that,
like you know, if, if you are, if you go
through trauma at the sort of level that
that I have over a long period of time, and
then you know haven't got that level of
support from mother or father or whoever it
is, so you feel very solo in that.
(16:47):
You know it's a dark place and it's
something that constantly has to be, you
know, looked at and allowed to be looked at.
You know I journal every day about it, I
talk about it as much as I can, I reflect
every evening on me and the decisions that
I've made, even in that day, and keep in
touch with all those things that trigger
and have triggered me, to make sure that
(17:10):
you know I'm always moving forward, that
it's that thing with that rewrite of your
story I love nothing more.
I see each day as a blank page in a future
book and it's about reflecting on the the
page before and then, you know, making the
next page even better, even more exciting
and even more challenging, and whatever it
might be, but it's, it's a continual book.
(17:31):
Your life, I think, should be seen as a
continual book, not defined by one moment,
not one moment in time
Gemma Serenity (17:40):
it's interesting what you say, because
oftentimes what we do not realize is that
we allow one moment in time to define
ourselves and we run with that identity for
decades and decades and decades until one
day, just one day, we realize oh my gosh,
where do I come from?
Right, what did I put as an identity on me?
(18:05):
And I remember a.
I think she was I don't know 23 years old.
It was one of my son's girlfriends for a
moment, if you want, and I remember she was
asking me to a mentor, like I don't know
who I am.
Yeah, that's an interesting question,
because you actually choose who you want to
(18:27):
be.
You can discover who you have chosen
previously to be.
That still plays out today, but that is a
choice.
If you choose to try on the identity that
someone in your surrounding labels you
Kate Southall (18:47):
and finding that can be different for every
single person.
You know that's what I believe and I think
you know we can't find the answers from
somebody else.
You know I say to my clients all the time
and I'm sure they always oh my God, she's
saying it again is I always say you've got
the answer?
So when it comes to this situation, if
you've been a victim, if you've been in
(19:08):
that sort of place, you've got to find a
way for forgiveness.
So you can't just seek the answer or be
given the answer.
You have the answer.
So you've got to create whatever it takes
for that to be seen.
And for me it was literally moving to a
location that I knew would allow me to open
(19:30):
up to that.
And I gave myself the time.
I gave myself that mindful time and put
myself in environment like nature for me.
That's what kind of inspires me in that, in
that moment that allowed me that process.
So go, you've got to go and find it, and
sometimes that can take a little bit of
work, but it's worth it.
(19:51):
It's worth trying to work out how you can
actually start that forgiveness, how you
can start coming from a place of love, of
who you are, not anger, fear, you know,
hate, sadness, all those negative emotions
that'll just play out negatively in our
lives.
Moving forward.
Gemma Serenity (20:13):
And our body is an excellent feedback mesh,
because whatever you think and whatever you
believe in the deepest of your core will
eventually show up in your body,
Kate Southall (20:27):
absolutely
One way or for, at the peak of my success.
So around about the 28,.
I was 28 when I was first a
multimillionaire, when my businesses were,
you know, I started very early.
I lost a kidney and then, you know, my next
time of absolute fame, you know, was around
(20:48):
that 31, 32 years of age, when again I
gained, you know, a lot, of, a lot of high
opinion and my business was doing very well
and I had it all.
I had all the cars and the houses, I got
diabetes, type one, and you know, and then
that's that kind of story for me has played
out all the way through and it still does,
(21:09):
you know, it still does.
In some ways For me it's an indication that
more work needs to be done.
So again, I try and look at it not so much
like judgment of self, criticism of self
here I've done it again.
It's like okay, okay, well, now we're going
to have to reset, now we're going to have
to do the work again, we're going to have
to think about this.
We're going to have to work out what you
need to do to go back to that place of
(21:31):
forgiveness.
That's why I said it's an ongoing process,
but your body absolutely will often be
demonstrating what's going on up here.
You know what's going on in the mind.
Gemma Serenity (21:51):
It's amazing when you really really become
conscious of that, because that actually
empowers you to make the decision how do
you want to to go through life from now on
with that new things that just showed up in
your body, or that new experience that you
did not expect, that absolutely change the
trajectory of your life again?
(22:12):
But that starts from within.
There is a spiritual solution to every
problem.
Kate Southall (22:18):
that's a fact, and there is also a
energetic reason for every everything going
on in your body and in your life and I know
that you love this saying about me because
it's it's very, it very much kind of
illustrates, you know, my understanding of
(22:39):
living courageously and it's, you know, you
needadventurehave mind, body awesomeness
connection.
Um, yeah, I remember that you were like oh
my god, that's so funny.
Yeah, because it's normally mind, body,
soul, you know, and but for me it's, it's,
you know, it's just how I've.
I've created who I am today by seeing these
things in my life.
Yes, I'm a place of courage, but you know
(23:01):
what?
I'm not giving up because I want to venture,
you know, I want to be awesome, I want to
experience everything that I can, and I
know that I'm going to get there.
I've just taken a slightly different,
harder road than maybe some others.
Gemma Serenity (23:15):
That's fascinating so tell us a little bit
about your business, how?
I know all those masterclass, but how do
you actually make the world a better place?
What do you put out?
A lot, I know, but I'm going to allow you
to say it so that people can hear it.
Kate Southall (23:38):
I've really consciously tried to put all of
the scars, all the bumps, all the successes
all the knowledge, all the courage, all the
adventure, all the things that I've So,
done in my world.
(24:20):
you canknow, how you
And again, it's been created from a place
of forgiveness, so there's a lot of love in
it and I've included that in all that I
give now to other women.
So I give this sort of place of you.
Know, my program is all about clarity, care
and courage.
So everything that I do with the women that
I work with is around finding that clarity
of you.
You know it's that story.
You know that's where I go in there.
You know who are you truly, who could you
potentially be?
You know how can you break through the fear,
how can you let go of the anger.
You know how can you get to that place of
forgiveness and what is the life that you
truly want to live.
What is that life?
And then I move into, which is funny,
because sometimes I get women say to me
yeah, but you've had so many things go
wrong health-wise for you.
And I'm like, yeah, but that's why I work
(24:40):
in care, because things go wrong
health-wise for you.
And I'm like, yeah, but that's why I work
in care, because you know I'mInspirer I'm a
testament, I'm here living, I'm a living
sort of case of um, if you don't deal with
this, you know, if you don't gain that
clarity of your why and your purpose and go
for it, it will play out negatively, not
just around you, you know, externally it
(25:01):
will internally.
So So, level of care, that love, that
self-compassion that I didn't have for an
incredibly long time.
So you know it and and I'm still got work
here and that's being honest, gemma like in
the place of love, you know I have to work
hard on fighting those limiting beliefs
that I am here and I deserve to be loved.
(25:23):
But I'm understanding that I have to love
myself deep enough for order for me to see
the love that then I deserve.
So that area of care goes, that level of
depth, it's really deep in self-compassion,
self-love, and if you want to be successful
in all that you want to be in life, I
believe that you need to treat yourself
(25:43):
with that level of respect.
And then, obviously, courage.
For me, everything about what I do and
known
as the Courageous Inspire Coach, I
absolutely just love living courageously
and I love watching women around me living
courageously and in there it's about that
sort of speaking your truth.
But it's even more than that.
(26:05):
You know it's doing it.
It's doing the things it's required, doing
the work that's required and not letting
anything hold you back.
So the courageous area for me.
I move that into everything and all that I
do with the women that I work with and I
hope that I inspire others by telling my
story and living my life and being honest
and authentic with integrity, at that level
(26:27):
that you can, regardless of where you've
come from, regardless of your experiences,
you can write your future story
Gemma Serenity (26:35):
How amazing is that!
There is a key concept, that key element of
forgiveness, of choice, of courage and of
constantly continue to do that shadow work,
do that inner work like find out what are
(26:59):
those triggers in you and where they come
from, and what is the belief that leads to
that frustration, because it doesn't work
the way you expect it to be through your
belief.
But if you would believe something else,
how would that play out?
And it will play out so differently.
(27:19):
And this is where you realize there is not
one truth.
There is what you believe to be true.
Kate Southall (27:29):
Yeah, yeah, and we all have the power
equally to succeed in anything that we want
to in life, regardless of you know the
injustices, or you know, and I'm not taking
it away from that, but you can be whoever
you want to be.
We all still have that power that, as I
(27:51):
said before, that moment doesn't need to
define who you become.
You've still got that power to be
courageous.
You can still seek that clarity and you've
just got to do it with a lot of self-care
Gemma Serenity (28:07):
it's so true
All right, kate, if people want to connect
with you, what is your main website or your
link that you tell people to find you?
Kate Southall (28:18):
yeah, so the website's called freedom,
empowerment and impact, so that's the name
of the website, um, and we also have a, a
courageous group.
So this is a private facebook group where I
work with and support, and you know what
I'm like.
There's a lot of good stuff that goes in
there, um, and I'm regularly running master.
(28:40):
I'm regularly running things that offer
topics in the areas that I master in around
that clarity, care and courage.
So the website is one option where your
freedom, empowerment and impact, but
certainly the group page, which I'm not
sure if I drop in or I give you and you can
get that out if it needs to be let out.
Gemma Serenity (29:01):
Yeah, we're going to make sure to put all
that information into description to allow
people to actually find you, click and
discover their own freedom, their own
empowerment, their own courage.
Kate Southall (29:13):
That's right, that's right Right.
Gemma Serenity (29:17):
Mm-hmm.
Wonderful Kate.
Thank you for holding space for constant
growth, constant betterment, improvement,
optimization of our life to be the closest
to our highest spiritual evolution possible.
Thank you blessed, holding space for that
(29:44):
like that.
Kate Southall (29:44):
Yeah, it's a it's an honor to have the have
that, uh, that that role that I play.
Like I said, you know it's it's an honor.
I feel very blessed and I say it often um
to be able to inspire and continue to
inspire.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com