May 28, 2025 • 51 mins
Rebecca Galli's story isn't just about survival—it's about creating a magnificent life from the pieces that remain after tragedy shatters your original plans. Picking up where Part 1 left off, this powerful conversation delves deeper into Rebecca's extraordinary journey of navigating motherhood from a wheelchair, building a thriving autism nonprofit, and finding joy amidst devastating losses.
Twenty-five years ago, Rebecca channeled her experience as a mother of a child with autism into founding Pathfinders for Autism, an organization that now provides support to tens of thousands annually. What began as parents sharing resources around a kitchen table has blossomed into a comprehensive support system with a worldwide database. Rebecca's approach to life's challenges—creating "parallel paths" when faced with uncertainty—became the philosophical foundation for an organization that has changed countless lives.
The conversation takes a profound turn when Rebecca shares how she processed simultaneous tragedies. After experiencing her brother's death, her own paralysis, her divorce, and her daughter's autism diagnosis, Rebecca developed an almost supernatural ability to move quickly from grief to action. When her mother and son died within six hours of each other, her sister offered the perfect comforting words: "Maybe it's mom's time to take care of him now." This moment perfectly encapsulates Rebecca's life philosophy—finding meaning and even beauty in circumstances that might crush someone else.
Perhaps most striking is Rebecca's relationship with faith through hardship. She shares her father's tradition of the "black chair"—a safe space where honest feelings could be expressed without judgment, even anger toward God. As Rebecca beautifully puts it, "I've been in a relationship with God for as long as I can remember, but not always on speaking terms." Her father, a minister who wrote a book called "Sit Down God, I'm Angry," taught her that authentic spirituality makes room for questioning and rage.
Throughout her journey, Rebecca has discovered that acceptance doesn't mean surrendering to circumstances—it means redirecting your energy toward what remains possible. From wheelchair dancing to wearing sparkly boots because "if you can't stand up, stand out," she demonstrates that joy can coexist with hardship when we shift our focus from limitations to possibilities.
Ready to rethink what's possible in your own life? Grab Rebecca's books "Rethinking Possible" and "Morning Fuel," visit beckygalli.com, and remember her powerful mantra: "Life can be good no matter what."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome back to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
If you joined us for Part 1,you already know the emotional
depth and hard-won wisdom thatRebecca Galley brings to the
table, and if you didn't, well,you might want to pause and go
back and listen to Part 1.
Then, well, you might want topause and go back and listen to
(00:29):
part one.
In part two we pick up where weleft off, with Rebecca
navigating motherhood, paralysis, the loss of a child, the loss
of a mother, the loss of afather, autism with one of her
children, overcoming, making itno matter what and learning how
to live fully in a body and alife that no longer looks like
the one that she planned.
But if you think this is just astory of sadness, oh my gosh.
(00:52):
No, not at all.
I mean, there's so muchlaughter and fun and we just we
really talk.
It's so engaging.
This is a story of humor inheartbreak, of choosing joy with
bitterness, of building newdreams with what's left when the
original ones shatter.
Rebecca reminds us that purposedoesn't wait for perfect
(01:13):
conditions and that sometimesour most beautiful chapters
begin when we learn to writewith a trembling hand.
So settle in, because todaywe're talking about healing,
what it means to truly show upand how to live with uncertainty
while still believing in what'spossible.
(01:33):
Let's get into it.
Here is part two.
That was so important I lovethat part of the story and that
the Baltimore Orioles' wivesended up.
You ended up raising $100,000,which was the most that they had
raised at that time.
And then even Michael Phelpshere he is, he jumps on board as
an honorary member and then aradio spot for you.
(01:54):
I thought that that was sogreat.
Can you talk more about that?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Sure.
So in the early days we werejust a small group of parents
sharing information.
We're trying to share ourdiscoveries.
And then in 2000, we wereincorporated, we hired our first
employee who had a child withautism, because at the time
everybody was saying wait andsee what happens and we had
(02:22):
wanted people to get as manyresources as they could and talk
to another parent on the phone.
This was way before Google orthe Internet or social media,
right, absolutely.
So we started out that way,with just a person answering the
phone, and we developed adatabase.
And then we created specialevents to try to help raise
(02:43):
money.
And now you know we serve20,000 people a year with family
.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Yes, some family events where people can go and
feel safe going to the aquariumwith their kids with autism, or
gardens, or different activitieswe have and we also train first
responders.
You know, okay, activities wehave and we also train first
responders.
You know whether that's EMTs.
Your next encounter is going tobe with a person with autism.
(03:11):
You know how would you respond,how can you be sensitized to
their needs.
So it's been great In 25 years.
This year is our 25thanniversary.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh my gosh, can I ask how Madison is doing?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
She's doing well.
She's still and she's 33.
She still can't read or writeor ever be left alone, but she's
doing very well in aresidential group home, and then
she has a day program as well,where she's out in the community
every single day.
Oh, that's just great.
(03:47):
We're grateful for thosesupport services that PAP
founders actually helped me find.
So they're still finding pathsfor no matter what age, because
it seems like they always haveneeds that are at least outside
my capacity to handle.
So it's good to have a safetynet there to help you.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
That's interesting that you called it Pathfinders,
because you had this thing aboutpaths.
You know two different pathsand then you created that.
You just took coffee containersand you drew these circles
interlocking and then youcreated this logo and then you
came up with this.
I mean, you were just sothinking outside of the box and
(04:32):
trying to do something insteadof just sit in the pain and I
just thought that that wasamazing that you did that.
And look, I mean, you're stillnow 25 years later.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
That's so great.
I mean, you're still now, 25years later, that's so great,
yeah.
And the path keeps going, and Ithink that the idea of a path
is that sometimes it's justfinding the path.
They're already out there, wejust don't know about them.
So it's bringing it to light.
You know, having findersSometimes we create our own
(05:05):
paths out there, but most oftentheir resources is just getting
it in a place that people candiscover it.
But it's a very rewardingexperience.
We have an amazing staff nowthat are so helpful and have so
much expertise.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Is it just within the Baltimore area, or is it
nationwide, or is it prettylocal?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It is a statewide organization, but our database
serves people from all over theworld.
Oh my gosh, yes, so you can goto PathfindersforAutismorg and
go on there and search.
You can search by age what ageyour child is and what services
are recommended.
We have resources on therewhich are primarily in the
(05:52):
Maryland area, but there's some.
You know we screen theresources we add to our database
and we're open to otherscontributing too.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
That's where I might have to look it up when I get
off of here.
So, with your paths andrethinking possible.
When you talked earlier abouttwo different paths, you also
did that with your own life whenyou were in the wheelchair and
one if you would never walkagain and one if you could and I
(06:27):
thought that that was brilliant.
Was that your way of?
Also that?
You know creating these twopaths and I think you already
might have answered thisquestion but was it your way of
forward thinking during a timeof acceptance?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yes, absolutely that's.
That is how I kept myselfmoving, because it was too hard
to just wonder all the time.
And I think that you know, asWinston Churchill says, when
you're going through, I'll keepgoing.
I needed to feel like that Ican make progress.
(07:34):
So I did the parallel pass.
What happens if I can walk,what happens if I couldn't?
And then you know my big toemoment, where I decided that was
the last thing I could wigglebefore the paralysis was
complete, was my left big toe.
And after 19 months of therapythree times a week, I really
wasn't making any progress and Idecided to just let go of that.
And so I stopped my therapy andI was able to lean in more fully
(07:59):
to a life as a paraplegic, alife as a paraplegic mom.
Life is a paraplegic, life is aparaplegic mom.
And I realized, looking back,that therapy three times a week
had taken me away from my kidsat the dinner hour for three
nights a week.
So I said, well, I have thattime now, and so I was like
we're going to do what I couldremember from my mom's days, and
(08:22):
we had candles with our dinnerand I played music.
This was back with the CD clubs.
So I bought a bunch of CDs thatwere funky disco that I loved
in my college days, and thenjazz and then classical, and I
felt like I was creating anotherenvironment for us to be family
together, another environmentfor us to be family together.
(08:46):
So, but I think we all in lifesometimes have these big toe
moments where it's like you'vegot to.
It's time to let go ofsomething that's not going to be
a reality for your life.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, I think it's that leaning into acceptance
instead of resistance.
You know I mean that's a hardplace to be.
It's crossing that line overinto fully acceptance, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It is hard.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
You know, acceptance also had a different take for me
.
In your book Matthew had and allhe had gone through and your
miscarriages and after yourdaughter, madison's challenges
and peter's and trying to manageas a single parent in a
wheelchair.
You know your entire story ofnow you have your brother had
(09:39):
passed, your dad had passed, yougot the call about your mom and
you say you went right toacceptance.
You had spent a lifetime ofhearing these horrible news,
this horrible news, and thengoing through maybe the grief
process or whatever the stepsthat you need to go to, but then
you went straight to acceptanceand it made me realize that I
(10:04):
too have been through so manythings in my life that I think
sometimes we just go straight toacceptance and it's like that
we become robots to pain andit's just okay.
I know the drill, you know, andyou just go through the motions
Okay, now we got to do this, wegot to the funeral, whatever
(10:26):
and you just are just so numb toit and it's more something like
that.
I don't know, is that how youfelt?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I think that sometimes when you're, you have
this unexpected event that'shorrific and then you you move
to this, to this why.
You know, why did this happen?
I don't deserve this.
This isn't fair.
All this emotional fog, after awhile you realize that that
(10:57):
doesn't really do you any good.
You know, you an emotionalthing, you need to process it,
but at thing you need to processit, but at the moment you need
to get into action.
For what is the next step?
What are things that need to do?
And I call it this pivot fromwhy and why did all this happen,
and all the angst and outragethat you feel with that why, to
(11:23):
how, how are you going to do it?
And the how puts you intoacceptance mode.
And just that change ofquestion from why to how gets
you more in acceptance and, Ithink, helps you move through it
more, maybe efficiently.
That doesn't mean that youcan't come back to why at some
(11:43):
point.
But we knew our mother had hada serious illness.
We didn't know why.
You know there's a lot of moremystery that there was to
investigate, but Rachel gotthere and I knew what I needed
to do to to address thesituation.
Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah, and I think it going from why to how gives you
that sense of control.
You know it's like all of asudden you can do something with
the why.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, you park that why and come back to it, but
your how it puts you in problemsolving.
It does it, does Wandering,pondering, you're just going to?
All right, let's do it.
What do you need to do?
Damage your resources?
Who can help you?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, that's what you do, that's what we do.
It is.
One of the things that Iabsolutely loved about your
family was that you found waysto celebrate and have fun, and
your family's sense of humorcarried all of you, I believe,
when your dad did whatever hedid in the van.
When you know and you're gonna,you got this van, you're going
(12:53):
to go drive it for the firsttime and you're in there your
mom's, I guess in the passengerseat that's how I pictured it
and your dad does something andyou just tip back and you're
staring at the ceiling and youlook over at your mom, who's
backs to you and her shouldersare shaking and I thought she
was going to be crying.
And she turns around and she'slike hysterically laughing.
(13:15):
I was like that is awesome.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
She didn't say are you okay?
Baby first Before she startedlaughing.
But she was, you know, babyfirst before she started
laughing, but she was.
You know, it was the perfectcombination.
Dad could tell a joke I mean,he was a jokester, he just was.
And mother couldn't tell a joketo save her life.
She'd tell you the punchlinebefore she would tell you.
(13:40):
You know the story.
But she had this we call ittickle box meltdown, where she
would just cry With tears, shewould just be laughing, so she
couldn't talk.
And it really was funny becauseI was on my back and at the time
I was wearing these patentleather Dr Martin shoes and I
(14:00):
was looking up at the ceilingand there were my legs.
Of course I can't move my legs,but they're hanging above me.
Thank heavens I have myseatbelt on.
So it was, and dad was tryingto use the hand controls of my
car, which you know you have tobe trained to use these things.
Well, he just doesn't.
He skips ahead sometimes whenhe's looking at directions.
(14:22):
So he just hit that thing andthe van lurched forward.
I went backward and she was apuddle of tears.
But we, we really had a lot ofhumor in our and we also did.
And when you were talking aboutbeing stuck or struck, I had
written a warning fuel entryabout that, because I used it
(14:46):
when uh, that, that that phrasewhen rachel had come to visit me
during I think it was lateMarch one year.
Anyway, we had a surprisesnowstorm and she couldn't leave
, she couldn't fly back home,and we were stuck, you know.
And instead of being stuck, wedecided to go out and play in
(15:10):
the snow.
So I did, you know, donuts withmy wheelchair and snow angels.
That is so fun.
We were struck by the challengeinstead of being stuck in it.
So it just gave us a lighterway to look at life, because
sometimes it's just so crazy,it's funny.
(15:31):
How can all this stuff happen?
Why not laugh about it?
We were overcome, you know, bygrief and by anger.
We can be overcome by laughtertoo.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
That capture, right, right.
And I read that passage inMorning Fuel and it was really
funny.
I pictured you doing that.
Yeah, it was great and you'reright, you just have to make the
best of it.
You just have to.
I mean, life is happening.
You might as well laugh alongthe way.
And you had a dance party afteryour divorce.
I mean that was awesome.
(16:05):
And also the picture in my mindof you trying to get ready in
the bathroom with your friendand your sister for that wedding
, and you know what it washilarious.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, we never did that again, but it was just the
other way around.
I was on the floor and I had afriend pulling me up and Rachel
shoved me to the side.
But yeah, it was an interestingtime in the bathroom.
Well, it made a memory, right?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yes, and when you were at that wedding you had a
moment you were able to requesta song and you wanted to play
that funky music and you danced.
And it was the first time thatyou had danced to that song,
since you and your brotherForrest had danced to it 20
years prior.
So what I loved about what yousaid was my body might be
(16:58):
paralyzed, but my soul's movingon.
I mean, how profound Can youtell me about that moment of
freedom?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You know I enjoyed dancing so much and Forrest and
I won the dance contest.
You know I came back my firstyear of college.
I came back and he and Ientered the high school contest.
I still haven't seen the trophyright there by my computer but
it was.
It brought back.
(17:28):
I could shut my eyes andremember everything I did with
him.
And so I loved wheelchairdancing and I decided to embrace
that.
You know I can't move aroundthe dance floor like I used to,
can't use my legs, but I canhave the music in my heart and
(17:51):
let the memory fill it andreally enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yeah, it seemed like music was one of those things
that helped get you through aswell, besides laughter.
Yes, yeah, music is reallyimportant to me too.
I can go back to a moment intime and I can feel that when
you hear certain songs, so yeah,they really do carry us.
You hear certain songs, so yeah, they really do carry us.
(18:19):
One of the things, though, thatI hated the most for you.
One of the things was how youwere treated differently, and I
touched on it earlier, but I youknow that column that you
created From when I Sit again,you were taking back power, but
you have a story of being atyour daughter's new school and
(18:39):
nothing was wheelchair friendly,and you would even call the
head and ask for a ramp, butthey didn't have the ramp.
They had, you know, a thick rug.
You couldn't get your legsunder the table.
You couldn't reach the food atthe buffet.
You know they weren't makingsure that you were okay and that
just that really hurt me, foryou know I was hurt for you, but
(19:02):
you knew it would probably behard, I'm sure, because you know
all these women are socializingand everything.
They're leaving you out, butyou showed up and even though
that it would be hard, and thenyour dad's words from pity to
power are perfect for thismoment.
Did you feel empowered by hiswords in times like this?
(19:24):
Did it shift your attitude andnot letting other people's
heartless actions affect you?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I think it did.
I think it has just beenunderneath a lot of the times
where I've had to make thatpivot from pity to power.
In that particular instance, atone point I was actually headed
to the closet to just have agood cry and somebody stopped
and said something aboutBrittany and we struck up a
conversation and then she askedif she could help me with my
(20:02):
plate and then she sat beside meat the table and then I started
focusing on the needs of mydaughter instead of my needs and
what I could learn from thecommunity that was there and
there was real strength in thatto learn something for my
daughter that could be usedright away.
So, yeah, I did think aboutthat.
(20:25):
Another thing that mom used tosay, and I just revisited this
with a friend some time ago, andshe would say, a friend some
time ago, and and she would sayyou know, becky, don't don't let
the situation, don't let it getthe best of you, don't let it
(20:46):
get the best of you.
And I, and I would think aboutthat even in that situation.
Was I going to let thatsituation get the best of me?
Was this the best I had andwere they going to?
Was I going to waste my bestyou know being sorry for myself
or I was going to find my bestand use it in a different
direction?
And so those words too what isthe best of you?
(21:06):
And where are you letting thatgo?
Are you controlling where thebest of you goes?
Are you the best of you with anoutburst of anger?
You know the best of you goes.
Or the best of you with anoutburst of anger?
You know the best of you goeswith envy?
The best of you, where is thatbest of you going?
And, of course, we want ourbest to go in a positive
(21:27):
direction.
We want people to seek our bestand we want our best to absorb
what's around us, perhaps tohelp somebody else.
If it didn't help me, I mightas well help my daughter.
And so that was the biggestshift there.
I almost wouldn't help.
It was a difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, and I hope that places are more
wheelchair-friendly for you andthat you feel more accepted.
I mean, that was just not okay.
I was angry for you.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And they learned from it.
They did, I must say theylearned from it and the next
time it went smooth as silk, andthat's the other thing.
Sometimes it's not definitelythey didn't mean to be exclusive
to me and if people learn andcorrect it.
So I was deeply grateful thatthey were sensitive to that and
(22:19):
even apologetic later for it.
But at the time there's nothingthat can be done.
You know, you just got to dealwith the right to accept them.
How do I get through this Right?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, yeah.
You know, whenever I'm goingthrough a hard time or anything,
and I'm going to remember yourdad's words don't judge a
performance in the middle of anact.
I just was like, wow, that wasamazing that he said that.
(22:49):
I think, like I said, I willalways remember that, what did
you take away with you when he?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
said that.
I think it's another version oftrust the process.
We're in the middle ofsomething and you have no idea
what the future is going to be.
But to some extent you caninfluence the future by how you
approach.
Acceptance helps with this.
(23:15):
There's some things you can'tcontrol.
You got to release those andmove to what you can control
exactly, find the good things asyou're moving through it.
But it's.
It's helpful, especially ifyou're feeling stuck like the
middle of the act.
Okay, this isn't over yet.
There's more to come.
(23:37):
Hopefully it'll be better thanwhere you are at the moment.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, because you know there's days that if
somebody judged me on that dayit would be like, yeah, it's not
good, so don't please judge mein the middle of my act, you
know.
I mean I thought that that wasbeautiful, that he had some
great ones.
I want to talk about your dad alittle bit more, because he was
so much of who you are andcancer is a horrible disease,
(24:02):
and that moment, I think, wasone of the most real moments,
what I call a Job from the Biblemoment.
When you have that real Godwon't give us more than we can
handle.
I mean there are reasons forthese tragedies.
God is love.
(24:26):
How can he allow all of this?
I mean it's real, it's raw, andthose are the things I think
that people do say to ussometimes in order to help in a
really hard situation.
And I mean I had somethingawful happen and somebody said,
well, if you just give it to theLord, everything will be okay.
And I just went, no, it won't.
No, it won't.
You know I have given it to Godand no, it's still not gonna be
(24:46):
okay.
So do you think it makes ourrelationship with God less,
because we might shout thosethings out?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
No, I don't, you know he's't.
He's tough, he can take it.
And the name of my dad's bookthat he wrote was Sit Down, god,
I'm Angry.
This was after Forrest's deathand the backstory of that goes
to when we were kids, I think itwas 12.
Forrest was 10.
(25:13):
Rachel was 8.
And we'd just gotten tired ofbeing parented.
I think it was 12 or she was 10.
Rachel was eight and we'd justgotten tired of being parented,
I think.
And we went in and we saw momand dad lounging in their
bedroom and said you know, dadwas sitting in a black chair.
Dad, you know, who do we telloff when we get mad?
Yes, I remember.
Yes, he said you can tell it,you know.
(25:33):
And he, about it.
He said what do you mean, tellyou off?
And I said well, you know youget mad and you tell us off.
And he said, well, you can tellme off.
And he said, no, we can't,you'll get angry, you'll punish
us.
And he thought about it for aminute and looked at mom and
said you know, when I'm sittingin this black chair, you can
(26:02):
tell me anything you want and Iwill not punish you.
So that became our safe place,you know.
At the time I said, dad, when dowe get started?
And we just listed off everyinjustice we could think of.
But through the years it becamea safe place to talk to him
about.
You know, first car accidentForrest had had a little fender
bender told him about that.
Or the first night somebody hada sip of beer, or the first,
(26:24):
you know the first time.
So I was asked on a date andthe angst around that.
So, and after Forrest died andhe had told that story a lot and
his minister friends know aboutthat story.
So when Forrest died we were inthe hospital, or actually I
(26:44):
think before he was unconsciousnine days.
So during that time Dad was inthe lobby with some of his
minister friends in a room andhe said, guys, I'm going to put
God in the black chair.
He let God have it.
(27:06):
You know why my son, you know,hate me, not my son.
This is so unfair.
And so this was a ministeropenly expressing anger toward
god for something that washappened to his beloved son.
And I guess that honesty, thatblack chair, that that place to
(27:27):
be um open with how we feltabout tragedies that didn't seem
deserved, was something that Icontinue to experience in my
life and dad continued to giveme it's okay, baby, you can be
angry, it's okay.
Oh, how beautiful.
Yes, so it was a gift he gaveme really to be able to honestly
(27:53):
express that.
Otherwise it was like a releasevalve.
I had to express it.
It still remained faithful.
You know, I say that I've beenin a relationship with God for
as long as I can remember, butnot always on speaking terms.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Oh my gosh, I love that that sounds like another
title to a book that is so good.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Oh my gosh.
But he understands, he can takeit, you know.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
And I think your dad had a sermon.
How Mean is your God?
I mean, I would have loved tohave heard that sermon.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yes, it was a powerful one and I think I have
a recording of it somewhere.
He did send me all those tapes.
But yeah, it's when people say,you know, God doesn't give you
more than you can handle, oreverything happens for a reason,
or you alone have the strengthto deal with this.
(28:51):
You know, God gave you this.
It puts God in a, not acompanion position, and dad
always said you know, look forGod at not at the point of cause
, but at the point of cure howhe can help you get through a
situation.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
That's just so beautiful.
Also, you know your mom, shehad a little bit of a moment
herself when she was just reallytired of people asking her how
she was.
And you know, I mean I feltthat for her in that, you know,
I mean that people are reallyjust being nice when they're
(29:28):
asking that, but she's like,well, how do you think I am?
And I think that we all need tojust let that out.
People are trying to be nice,but it's really hard to present
that face of like I'm good, I'mgood, especially after she had
lost her husband.
That would just be horrific andyou know she just wanted to let
(29:49):
that out.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yes, it was really beautiful how she pivoted on
that one, because it was thesimple question people were
asking how are you?
And that's where she expressedwhat you said how do they think
I'm doing?
I lost my husband, you know thewhole.
So I was trying for severalphone calls, I was trying to be
(30:13):
very careful about not ask thatquestion and she at one point I
slipped and I said that you know, how are you doing?
I thought, oh my gosh, I'vetriggered her.
Here we go and she goes I'm adoing, that's how I'm doing, I'm
a doing.
And what a beautiful thing tosay.
(30:34):
You know, just not, I'm fine,I'm a doing, I am doing what's
next, what I need to be doing.
And that kind of became kind ofRachel and I are code word as
we're talking to each other howare you?
And if you're a doing, thatmeans you're struggling.
But you are, you know you'renot fine but you're a doing.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, that's a great way for her to answer during
such a hard time, and I think Iused to always just say I'm
peachy, oh, but I mean I guess Iwas being smart, but I also
really meant that.
You know, I was really justtrying to keep moving.
You went to your parents' housewhen you knew that your dad was
(31:20):
not going to make it, and oneof the things that I loved this
is again another one of thosebittersweet kind of things.
He met you outside when youarrived and you ran into his
arms and you said that youwouldn't have missed his
adventure.
You ran into his arms and yousaid that you wouldn't have
missed his adventure.
I just sat in that and I wasjust like, wow, I mean what I
(31:42):
mean?
I don't know if that's coping,but the way that your family
would call those types of hardtruths, adventures with
uncertain outcomes, I mean, didthat help you embrace the hard
realities?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
You know, I think what it did was it allowed me to
hold things lightly, becausewhen you're on an adventure
you're not sure exactly what'snext, but you know it's an
opportunity for learning.
You know that the unexpected isprobably going to happen.
For the guy that says what'splanned is possible, and my
(32:17):
mother saying was you know, gotto give my ducks in a row.
If you have plans that are tootightly held when they go
sideways, you're at a loss.
But if you hold them lightly,then you can pivot more.
It's their shock absorbers wetalked about earlier where you
can absorb a little bit more,but you can also be open to what
(32:40):
that circumstance offers.
I think one of the things Imentioned in the book and
probably both of them is one ofDad's things that he said that
is similar is no experience iswasted unless you let it be.
No experience is wasted unlessyou let it be.
(33:01):
And so if you approach thingsas an adventure, then you're
probably going to learnsomething here.
It might not be exactly whatyou want to learn, but that
opens it up, the opportunity up,and it's a really positive way
to look at hardship.
But I feel like if you havethat as a goal and fall short.
(33:22):
At least you've aimed high andmaybe what you are able to
achieve is just a little betterthan what you would have if you
just think of it as a list thatyou've got to move through a
dirge.
It's not, it's an opportunitytoo, of you know a dirge, it's
not.
It's an opportunity too, andhopefully it'll be something
(33:43):
positive will come out of it.
But it doesn't make the journeyany less laborious, but perhaps
it's more ripe withopportunities to learn if it's
approached that way.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
You're reminding me of when your husband did remarry
, and that was a hard truth andthat was something that would
have caused a lot of walls to goup.
You know, when Cindy, his newwife, she showed up I think it
was some kind of a store andshe's, like you know, trying to
let you know who she was.
And then she starts showing upat games and different things
(34:22):
like that.
I mean that would have been sohard.
But eventually she got closerto you.
You let her in more, you spentmore time with her, you even
traveled with her and it justshowed me that sometimes if we
let those walls down, you knowwe can let those hard things in.
So it might be better than wethink.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
And it has been.
It has been totally worth it.
We are still very good friends.
I can say that you know I loveher like a family member.
We've started that relationship, her.
(35:03):
We've started that relationship.
Initially, I think I wasoperating in my children's best
interest because I felt like itwould be too hard for everything
that my kids had been throughto try to absorb my dislike of
their father's choice for hiswife.
And there were many thingsabout her to love it was easy to
(35:24):
lean into that.
She was respectful of me, shewas helpful to my children, she
cared for my children.
So it's all about that focus.
Like what can I focus on forher?
With her, and she's a lovelyhuman being, I'm glad she's in
my life.
But it was not an easy choiceto I take that back.
(35:49):
After a while it became a veryeasy choice to choose my
children and their welfare overmy hurt or whatever I felt at
the time.
It was easy to look at theirbest interests and she wound up
being pretty easy to love, and Ithink that that's another theme
(36:12):
that kind of runs through yourbooks.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I know what your dad said in putting yourself first,
but you always took your wholeentire family's situation into
account while you made decisions.
I think that that really says alot about who you are.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Wow, thank you.
I appreciate that.
I will say one of her favoriteactresses was sophia lauren, and
they would, um.
They asked her you know how doyou fall in love with so many
men in all the movies?
That?
And she would say, um, I findsomething about them to love,
(36:56):
whether it be their eyes ortheir lips or their hair, and
focus on that part of them asshe's portraying this love, and
I think it led to my idea thateverybody sparkles in a
different place.
You know to look for people'ssparkle.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You said that in one of your morning fuels.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yes, yes.
So and I decided, you know, tolook for people's sparkle and
let my sparkle show more.
And that's when I bought somegold sequined boots.
And somebody had said whenyou're paralyzed, you know, in a
wheelchair, if you can't standup, stand out.
And so I'm like, I like myblingy jewelry and I like my
(37:42):
sparkle boots and you know, it'sfun, it's fun, and sometimes
you just got to go with what yougot right, you do and you do A
couple more things and thenwe'll end.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
But I wanted to touch on something that you said
about anger.
You know rightfully so.
You were angry, and you heardin Ernie Larson's self-help
tapes that unresolved anger hasadverse effects and all it does
is fixate us on the point of thepain.
So can you talk about notfocusing on the point of pain?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, I loved his illustration.
He talks about unresolved angerfixating you in your point of
pain, much like those projectsin science class where you would
have the insect and they wouldhave the little pin through them
and that you need to take thatpin out.
You know that's what it's liketo take the pin out of something
that's fixating you and yourpain.
(38:46):
So I think, again, it's thatprocess of being honest about
I'm in pain, in pain.
It's honest about your capacityto deal with that pain and who
(39:06):
can come around you to help yourelieve that pain and work
through that pain.
So I think that's reallyimportant because this
unresolved anger can pop out indifferent ways.
You don't even know.
You know it's about your angryand you kick the dog and it's
like when the dog's fought itknow.
You know it's about your angryand you kick the dog and it's
like when the dogs fought it was.
You know I would never kick mydog.
That's a strange idea.
(39:27):
It permeates in your attitudeand your continent.
You know you need to reallyfigure out a way to get that out
.
Unresolved anger.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, and it will come out.
It'll just shoot out indifferent ways and hit people
and things in a way that youknow it's just not productive,
right, I have to mention thisreally hard moment, but it's
also again another beautifulpart to your story, where your
sister, rachel, kind of broughtsomething out and your mom
(40:04):
passed and then Matthew'spassing right after.
Could you tell that story andwhat Rachel said to you?
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yes.
So it was another one of these.
Are you kidding me moment?
So we knew mom was at the endof her time we had been told
that, that she could be dying inthe next few weeks and my son,
(40:42):
matthew, had been in thehospital with pneumonia.
So these were sequentially, Ithink mother I'm not sure
exactly the order of I thinkMatthew was hospitalized right
after mother.
We got the word that motherwasn't doing very well.
So I first got the call that mymom had died and so I was
(41:04):
making funeral arrangements withthat, and then, six hours later
, I get the call that Matthewhas died and I just was stunned.
I just was absolutely stunned.
So Rachel was on her way,driving to West Virginia to
start making funeralarrangements for mom, and I
(41:24):
called her and I said, sissy,you're not going to believe this
.
Matthew died.
And no, she didn't even say Ican't believe it, she just said
well, sissy, maybe it's mom'stime to take care of him.
And it just it grounded me, itmade me be okay with it and it
(41:57):
was just two huge losses withinsix hours.
And so I called our ministerhere.
I had just called him aboutmom's funeral.
I said you're not going tobelieve this, but my son just
died too, and it's really hardto like catch a minister off
guard, right?
(42:18):
You know they heard it all, butoh, yeah, billy caught him off
guard.
so, uh, it was pretty amazing.
But I've rested in that throughthe years, through, you know,
his mom is with matthew andfinally, because he had suffered
so, uh, with the degenerationof the disease and the more
(42:41):
frequent seizures and it was hehad suffered so.
So it was really a comfort inthe thought, but I don't know
where she came up with that, butit was just perfect for that
time.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah, I think that she even said, you know, that
she had wanted to take care ofhim and she was just taking him
with her.
I mean, maybe I don't know, Imean that just was so perfect.
I mean the fact that they diedsix hours apart, it just really
did feel like your mom just tookhim with her and she's got him
(43:15):
now Through the years she wouldbe you, you know she would
remember.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
You know his birthday and just remember his.
You know anniversary of thisand anniversary of that and just
in a very loving way knew thatshe was, uh, would let me know
that he was primary in herthoughts, more so than anybody
else really.
So maybe it made the whole.
(43:40):
It all made sense what mysister said, it really did you
know I?
Speaker 1 (43:46):
I can just feel your pain.
I can feel, you know, yourbravery.
I can feel just how strong youare and I pictured a lot of your
life, at times barely keepingyour head above water.
Have you gone?
Because it feels, but I'm notgoing to answer it for you have
you gone from surviving to trulyliving again?
Speaker 2 (44:10):
You know, it's never finished.
It's a daily struggle.
Sometimes I think I live on theedge of a pity pit, but I think
there's a mentality of eventhough, whatever my latest
limitation is, I can still andreally leaning into that, I can
(44:34):
still do this, I can write this,I can write.
I'm not comfortable in thissituation, but I'm very
comfortable in that situationBecause the aging process
complicates things, and so mygoal is to live fully in this
(44:56):
life.
I didn't plan, and my goal isto also live what I believe,
which is life can be good nomatter what, and to try to seek
that good and to live for that.
So it's, I think I'm doing.
(45:19):
Uh, it's, I think I'm doing.
My mom would just say sometimes, baby, you know, you're doing
mighty well when I felt like Iwas falling short.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
I think I'm doing mighty well At least today,
right, yep, sometimes it'smoment by moment.
One of the most shocking wordsthat you wrote and I thought
about it later I was like, well,maybe it isn't that shocking
because you said I would changenothing Again.
(45:47):
You know, it just took me backto forest.
But you know this was a goal ofyours, a mantra.
You say we have to accept whatwe know and rethink the possible
.
You learn to live life with thelessons and you had so many
questions why my brother's death?
Why my paralysis?
(46:07):
Why my daughter's autism?
Why my mother's and son's deathat the same time?
I don't know the answers, but Iwill keep on living, even with
the unanswered questions, thatis just so beautifully said.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Thank you, you know I have a lot of them, but I think
it's where we place them in ourmind too.
If we are always lookingthrough the why instead of the
how, or all the injusticesinstead of the good that we have
left.
It makes life more challengingthan it needs to be.
(46:44):
There's a way to manage that,but it's worth it.
I say life can be good nomatter what, but can implies
work.
It's not.
Life is good.
Yes, life can be good, yes.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
There's effort in that.
There is effort, yes, and it isa two-way street.
I mean, god does you know he'llmeet us halfway, and that's
what I always say, anyway, andsometimes he does 80%, and you
know.
But it does take effort on ourparts and we can and he is, so
(47:19):
we just need to lean on him andwe really can, no matter how
hard it is.
We are full of other people'swords, you know.
I mean this was proof of it.
I mean we're just so and it'salso proof of why we need to
fill ourselves up with thepositive words.
What message would you likepeople to take from Rethinking
(47:43):
Possible and Mourning Fuel?
What are the main messages thatyou want them to get?
Speaker 2 (47:48):
I think that it is.
Life can be good no matter what, and it can mean to effort.
I think that it is a worthwhilepursuit to keep rethinking
possible, to keep rethinkingwhat you can and work toward
getting toward that, yes, andthat you can't do it alone.
(48:11):
To please reach out to otherpeople and let them help you in
your journey.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
How can people get your books?
I got mine on Amazon, but doyou have a website?
How can people get a hold ofyou?
Or you know, just read yourbooks.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yes, so my website is my name, becky Gally,
b-e-c-k-y-g-a-l-l-i dot com, andmy books are available anywhere
books are sold that's Amazon,barnes and Noble your
independent local bookstore andthey're also available through
my website, if you want to lookat all the places that they're.
(48:52):
They are locally or anywhereactually, and I also do a column
called thoughtful Thursdaysthat if they want to sign up for
that, they would welcome themon Thursdays, sometimes every
Thursday, sometimes once a month.
Only when I have something tosay, I'll give a little thought
(49:12):
for the day, something that'sinspired or encouraged or made
me think that week, and that'swhere your podcast will be.
I usually try to feature somepodcasts at the end of my
thoughtful Thursday so peoplecan learn more about what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Well, I think I'm going to join that email, so you
might see my email come up.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
I would love to.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Yeah, I want to read more, so I absolutely will.
Well, rebecca Galli or BeckyGalli for those who are friends,
and maybe I could call you thatyou are proof that, even with
unanswered questions, that wecan still choose to live fully.
Thank you for helping us refuelwhen we feel empty.
And you know, for all of ourlisteners, we always say that
(49:59):
there's purpose in the pain andthere is hope in the journey,
and I want to thank everybodyfor joining us today, and I want
to thank you, rebecca, forbeing here today and doing this
extraordinary journey with us.
Thank you so much and foreverybody out there, we will see
you next time.
Thanks so much, a pleasure tobe with you.
I just want to thank all of youfor listening to part one and
(50:22):
part two, and if you didn'tlisten to part one, please go
back and listen.
From learning to parent in awheelchair, to building a
nonprofit in the middle ofunimaginable grief, to
redefining love, resilience andwhat it really means to start
over.
Rebecca didn't just survive.
She created a life filled withpurpose, impact and grace.
(50:44):
So here's what I want to leaveyou with today there is no shame
in falling apart and there isno timeline for putting the
pieces back together.
Sometimes, the most powerfulthing you can do is simply keep
showing up, even in pain, evenin pajamas, even when all you
have to offer is your presence.
That's still enough.
(51:05):
If this story resonated withyou and I know that it did
please share this episode withsomeone who needs it.
Grab Rebecca's book RethinkingPossible and Morning Fuel.
Grab both of them.
Follow her journey atbeckygalleycom.
And remember your story isn'tover.
You may be in the middle of themess, but the ending is still
(51:26):
being written, and it's beingwritten by you.
Until next time, this is RealTalk with Tina and Anne and,
like we always say, rememberthere is purpose in the pain and
there is hope in the journey.
Keep feeling, keep healing and,as Rebecca reminded us, always
let your love be larger.
Welcome back to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
If you joined us for Part 1,you already know the emotional
depth and hard-won wisdom thatRebecca Galley brings to the
table, and if you didn't, well,you might want to pause and go
back and listen to Part 1.
Then, well, you might want topause and go back and listen to
(00:29):
part one.
In part two we pick up where weleft off, with Rebecca
navigating motherhood, paralysis, the loss of a child, the loss
of a mother, the loss of afather, autism with one of her
children, overcoming, making itno matter what and learning how
to live fully in a body and alife that no longer looks like
the one that she planned.
But if you think this is just astory of sadness, oh my gosh.
(00:52):
No, not at all.
I mean, there's so muchlaughter and fun and we just we
really talk.
It's so engaging.
This is a story of humor inheartbreak, of choosing joy with
bitterness, of building newdreams with what's left when the
original ones shatter.
Rebecca reminds us that purposedoesn't wait for perfect
(01:13):
conditions and that sometimesour most beautiful chapters
begin when we learn to writewith a trembling hand.
So settle in, because todaywe're talking about healing,
what it means to truly show upand how to live with uncertainty
while still believing in what'spossible.
(01:33):
Let's get into it.
Here is part two.
That was so important I lovethat part of the story and that
the Baltimore Orioles' wivesended up.
You ended up raising $100,000,which was the most that they had
raised at that time.
And then even Michael Phelpshere he is, he jumps on board as
an honorary member and then aradio spot for you.
(01:54):
I thought that that was sogreat.
Can you talk more about that?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Sure.
So in the early days we werejust a small group of parents
sharing information.
We're trying to share ourdiscoveries.
And then in 2000, we wereincorporated, we hired our first
employee who had a child withautism, because at the time
everybody was saying wait andsee what happens and we had
(02:22):
wanted people to get as manyresources as they could and talk
to another parent on the phone.
This was way before Google orthe Internet or social media,
right, absolutely.
So we started out that way,with just a person answering the
phone, and we developed adatabase.
And then we created specialevents to try to help raise
(02:43):
money.
And now you know we serve20,000 people a year with family
.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Yes, some family events where people can go and
feel safe going to the aquariumwith their kids with autism, or
gardens, or different activitieswe have and we also train first
responders.
You know, okay, activities wehave and we also train first
responders.
You know whether that's EMTs.
Your next encounter is going tobe with a person with autism.
(03:11):
You know how would you respond,how can you be sensitized to
their needs.
So it's been great In 25 years.
This year is our 25thanniversary.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh my gosh, can I ask how Madison is doing?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
She's doing well.
She's still and she's 33.
She still can't read or writeor ever be left alone, but she's
doing very well in aresidential group home, and then
she has a day program as well,where she's out in the community
every single day.
Oh, that's just great.
(03:47):
We're grateful for thosesupport services that PAP
founders actually helped me find.
So they're still finding pathsfor no matter what age, because
it seems like they always haveneeds that are at least outside
my capacity to handle.
So it's good to have a safetynet there to help you.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
That's interesting that you called it Pathfinders,
because you had this thing aboutpaths.
You know two different pathsand then you created that.
You just took coffee containersand you drew these circles
interlocking and then youcreated this logo and then you
came up with this.
I mean, you were just sothinking outside of the box and
(04:32):
trying to do something insteadof just sit in the pain and I
just thought that that wasamazing that you did that.
And look, I mean, you're stillnow 25 years later.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
That's so great.
I mean, you're still now, 25years later, that's so great,
yeah.
And the path keeps going, and Ithink that the idea of a path
is that sometimes it's justfinding the path.
They're already out there, wejust don't know about them.
So it's bringing it to light.
You know, having findersSometimes we create our own
(05:05):
paths out there, but most oftentheir resources is just getting
it in a place that people candiscover it.
But it's a very rewardingexperience.
We have an amazing staff nowthat are so helpful and have so
much expertise.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Is it just within the Baltimore area, or is it
nationwide, or is it prettylocal?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It is a statewide organization, but our database
serves people from all over theworld.
Oh my gosh, yes, so you can goto PathfindersforAutismorg and
go on there and search.
You can search by age what ageyour child is and what services
are recommended.
We have resources on therewhich are primarily in the
(05:52):
Maryland area, but there's some.
You know we screen theresources we add to our database
and we're open to otherscontributing too.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
That's where I might have to look it up when I get
off of here.
So, with your paths andrethinking possible.
When you talked earlier abouttwo different paths, you also
did that with your own life whenyou were in the wheelchair and
one if you would never walkagain and one if you could and I
(06:27):
thought that that was brilliant.
Was that your way of?
Also that?
You know creating these twopaths and I think you already
might have answered thisquestion but was it your way of
forward thinking during a timeof acceptance?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yes, absolutely that's.
That is how I kept myselfmoving, because it was too hard
to just wonder all the time.
And I think that you know, asWinston Churchill says, when
you're going through, I'll keepgoing.
I needed to feel like that Ican make progress.
(07:34):
So I did the parallel pass.
What happens if I can walk,what happens if I couldn't?
And then you know my big toemoment, where I decided that was
the last thing I could wigglebefore the paralysis was
complete, was my left big toe.
And after 19 months of therapythree times a week, I really
wasn't making any progress and Idecided to just let go of that.
And so I stopped my therapy andI was able to lean in more fully
(07:59):
to a life as a paraplegic, alife as a paraplegic mom.
Life is a paraplegic, life is aparaplegic mom.
And I realized, looking back,that therapy three times a week
had taken me away from my kidsat the dinner hour for three
nights a week.
So I said, well, I have thattime now, and so I was like
we're going to do what I couldremember from my mom's days, and
(08:22):
we had candles with our dinnerand I played music.
This was back with the CD clubs.
So I bought a bunch of CDs thatwere funky disco that I loved
in my college days, and thenjazz and then classical, and I
felt like I was creating anotherenvironment for us to be family
together, another environmentfor us to be family together.
(08:46):
So, but I think we all in lifesometimes have these big toe
moments where it's like you'vegot to.
It's time to let go ofsomething that's not going to be
a reality for your life.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, I think it's that leaning into acceptance
instead of resistance.
You know I mean that's a hardplace to be.
It's crossing that line overinto fully acceptance, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It is hard.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
You know, acceptance also had a different take for me
.
In your book Matthew had and allhe had gone through and your
miscarriages and after yourdaughter, madison's challenges
and peter's and trying to manageas a single parent in a
wheelchair.
You know your entire story ofnow you have your brother had
(09:39):
passed, your dad had passed, yougot the call about your mom and
you say you went right toacceptance.
You had spent a lifetime ofhearing these horrible news,
this horrible news, and thengoing through maybe the grief
process or whatever the stepsthat you need to go to, but then
you went straight to acceptanceand it made me realize that I
(10:04):
too have been through so manythings in my life that I think
sometimes we just go straight toacceptance and it's like that
we become robots to pain andit's just okay.
I know the drill, you know, andyou just go through the motions
Okay, now we got to do this, wegot to the funeral, whatever
(10:26):
and you just are just so numb toit and it's more something like
that.
I don't know, is that how youfelt?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I think that sometimes when you're, you have
this unexpected event that'shorrific and then you you move
to this, to this why.
You know, why did this happen?
I don't deserve this.
This isn't fair.
All this emotional fog, after awhile you realize that that
(10:57):
doesn't really do you any good.
You know, you an emotionalthing, you need to process it,
but at thing you need to processit, but at the moment you need
to get into action.
For what is the next step?
What are things that need to do?
And I call it this pivot fromwhy and why did all this happen,
and all the angst and outragethat you feel with that why, to
(11:23):
how, how are you going to do it?
And the how puts you intoacceptance mode.
And just that change ofquestion from why to how gets
you more in acceptance and, Ithink, helps you move through it
more, maybe efficiently.
That doesn't mean that youcan't come back to why at some
(11:43):
point.
But we knew our mother had hada serious illness.
We didn't know why.
You know there's a lot of moremystery that there was to
investigate, but Rachel gotthere and I knew what I needed
to do to to address thesituation.
Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah, and I think it going from why to how gives you
that sense of control.
You know it's like all of asudden you can do something with
the why.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, you park that why and come back to it, but
your how it puts you in problemsolving.
It does it, does Wandering,pondering, you're just going to?
All right, let's do it.
What do you need to do?
Damage your resources?
Who can help you?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, that's what you do, that's what we do.
It is.
One of the things that Iabsolutely loved about your
family was that you found waysto celebrate and have fun, and
your family's sense of humorcarried all of you, I believe,
when your dad did whatever hedid in the van.
When you know and you're gonna,you got this van, you're going
(12:53):
to go drive it for the firsttime and you're in there your
mom's, I guess in the passengerseat that's how I pictured it
and your dad does something andyou just tip back and you're
staring at the ceiling and youlook over at your mom, who's
backs to you and her shouldersare shaking and I thought she
was going to be crying.
And she turns around and she'slike hysterically laughing.
(13:15):
I was like that is awesome.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
She didn't say are you okay?
Baby first Before she startedlaughing.
But she was, you know, babyfirst before she started
laughing, but she was.
You know, it was the perfectcombination.
Dad could tell a joke I mean,he was a jokester, he just was.
And mother couldn't tell a joketo save her life.
She'd tell you the punchlinebefore she would tell you.
(13:40):
You know the story.
But she had this we call ittickle box meltdown, where she
would just cry With tears, shewould just be laughing, so she
couldn't talk.
And it really was funny becauseI was on my back and at the time
I was wearing these patentleather Dr Martin shoes and I
(14:00):
was looking up at the ceilingand there were my legs.
Of course I can't move my legs,but they're hanging above me.
Thank heavens I have myseatbelt on.
So it was, and dad was tryingto use the hand controls of my
car, which you know you have tobe trained to use these things.
Well, he just doesn't.
He skips ahead sometimes whenhe's looking at directions.
(14:22):
So he just hit that thing andthe van lurched forward.
I went backward and she was apuddle of tears.
But we, we really had a lot ofhumor in our and we also did.
And when you were talking aboutbeing stuck or struck, I had
written a warning fuel entryabout that, because I used it
(14:46):
when uh, that, that that phrasewhen rachel had come to visit me
during I think it was lateMarch one year.
Anyway, we had a surprisesnowstorm and she couldn't leave
, she couldn't fly back home,and we were stuck, you know.
And instead of being stuck, wedecided to go out and play in
(15:10):
the snow.
So I did, you know, donuts withmy wheelchair and snow angels.
That is so fun.
We were struck by the challengeinstead of being stuck in it.
So it just gave us a lighterway to look at life, because
sometimes it's just so crazy,it's funny.
(15:31):
How can all this stuff happen?
Why not laugh about it?
We were overcome, you know, bygrief and by anger.
We can be overcome by laughtertoo.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
That capture, right, right.
And I read that passage inMorning Fuel and it was really
funny.
I pictured you doing that.
Yeah, it was great and you'reright, you just have to make the
best of it.
You just have to.
I mean, life is happening.
You might as well laugh alongthe way.
And you had a dance party afteryour divorce.
I mean that was awesome.
(16:05):
And also the picture in my mindof you trying to get ready in
the bathroom with your friendand your sister for that wedding
, and you know what it washilarious.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, we never did that again, but it was just the
other way around.
I was on the floor and I had afriend pulling me up and Rachel
shoved me to the side.
But yeah, it was an interestingtime in the bathroom.
Well, it made a memory, right?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yes, and when you were at that wedding you had a
moment you were able to requesta song and you wanted to play
that funky music and you danced.
And it was the first time thatyou had danced to that song,
since you and your brotherForrest had danced to it 20
years prior.
So what I loved about what yousaid was my body might be
(16:58):
paralyzed, but my soul's movingon.
I mean, how profound Can youtell me about that moment of
freedom?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You know I enjoyed dancing so much and Forrest and
I won the dance contest.
You know I came back my firstyear of college.
I came back and he and Ientered the high school contest.
I still haven't seen the trophyright there by my computer but
it was.
It brought back.
(17:28):
I could shut my eyes andremember everything I did with
him.
And so I loved wheelchairdancing and I decided to embrace
that.
You know I can't move aroundthe dance floor like I used to,
can't use my legs, but I canhave the music in my heart and
(17:51):
let the memory fill it andreally enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yeah, it seemed like music was one of those things
that helped get you through aswell, besides laughter.
Yes, yeah, music is reallyimportant to me too.
I can go back to a moment intime and I can feel that when
you hear certain songs, so yeah,they really do carry us.
You hear certain songs, so yeah, they really do carry us.
(18:19):
One of the things, though, thatI hated the most for you.
One of the things was how youwere treated differently, and I
touched on it earlier, but I youknow that column that you
created From when I Sit again,you were taking back power, but
you have a story of being atyour daughter's new school and
(18:39):
nothing was wheelchair friendly,and you would even call the
head and ask for a ramp, butthey didn't have the ramp.
They had, you know, a thick rug.
You couldn't get your legsunder the table.
You couldn't reach the food atthe buffet.
You know they weren't makingsure that you were okay and that
just that really hurt me, foryou know I was hurt for you, but
(19:02):
you knew it would probably behard, I'm sure, because you know
all these women are socializingand everything.
They're leaving you out, butyou showed up and even though
that it would be hard, and thenyour dad's words from pity to
power are perfect for thismoment.
Did you feel empowered by hiswords in times like this?
(19:24):
Did it shift your attitude andnot letting other people's
heartless actions affect you?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I think it did.
I think it has just beenunderneath a lot of the times
where I've had to make thatpivot from pity to power.
In that particular instance, atone point I was actually headed
to the closet to just have agood cry and somebody stopped
and said something aboutBrittany and we struck up a
conversation and then she askedif she could help me with my
(20:02):
plate and then she sat beside meat the table and then I started
focusing on the needs of mydaughter instead of my needs and
what I could learn from thecommunity that was there and
there was real strength in thatto learn something for my
daughter that could be usedright away.
So, yeah, I did think aboutthat.
(20:25):
Another thing that mom used tosay, and I just revisited this
with a friend some time ago, andshe would say, a friend some
time ago, and and she would sayyou know, becky, don't don't let
the situation, don't let it getthe best of you, don't let it
(20:46):
get the best of you.
And I, and I would think aboutthat even in that situation.
Was I going to let thatsituation get the best of me?
Was this the best I had andwere they going to?
Was I going to waste my bestyou know being sorry for myself
or I was going to find my bestand use it in a different
direction?
And so those words too what isthe best of you?
(21:06):
And where are you letting thatgo?
Are you controlling where thebest of you goes?
Are you the best of you with anoutburst of anger?
You know the best of you goes.
Or the best of you with anoutburst of anger?
You know the best of you goeswith envy?
The best of you, where is thatbest of you going?
And, of course, we want ourbest to go in a positive
(21:27):
direction.
We want people to seek our bestand we want our best to absorb
what's around us, perhaps tohelp somebody else.
If it didn't help me, I mightas well help my daughter.
And so that was the biggestshift there.
I almost wouldn't help.
It was a difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, and I hope that places are more
wheelchair-friendly for you andthat you feel more accepted.
I mean, that was just not okay.
I was angry for you.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And they learned from it.
They did, I must say theylearned from it and the next
time it went smooth as silk, andthat's the other thing.
Sometimes it's not definitelythey didn't mean to be exclusive
to me and if people learn andcorrect it.
So I was deeply grateful thatthey were sensitive to that and
(22:19):
even apologetic later for it.
But at the time there's nothingthat can be done.
You know, you just got to dealwith the right to accept them.
How do I get through this Right?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, yeah.
You know, whenever I'm goingthrough a hard time or anything,
and I'm going to remember yourdad's words don't judge a
performance in the middle of anact.
I just was like, wow, that wasamazing that he said that.
(22:49):
I think, like I said, I willalways remember that, what did
you take away with you when he?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
said that.
I think it's another version oftrust the process.
We're in the middle ofsomething and you have no idea
what the future is going to be.
But to some extent you caninfluence the future by how you
approach.
Acceptance helps with this.
(23:15):
There's some things you can'tcontrol.
You got to release those andmove to what you can control
exactly, find the good things asyou're moving through it.
But it's.
It's helpful, especially ifyou're feeling stuck like the
middle of the act.
Okay, this isn't over yet.
There's more to come.
(23:37):
Hopefully it'll be better thanwhere you are at the moment.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, because you know there's days that if
somebody judged me on that dayit would be like, yeah, it's not
good, so don't please judge mein the middle of my act, you
know.
I mean I thought that that wasbeautiful, that he had some
great ones.
I want to talk about your dad alittle bit more, because he was
so much of who you are andcancer is a horrible disease,
(24:02):
and that moment, I think, wasone of the most real moments,
what I call a Job from the Biblemoment.
When you have that real Godwon't give us more than we can
handle.
I mean there are reasons forthese tragedies.
God is love.
(24:26):
How can he allow all of this?
I mean it's real, it's raw, andthose are the things I think
that people do say to ussometimes in order to help in a
really hard situation.
And I mean I had somethingawful happen and somebody said,
well, if you just give it to theLord, everything will be okay.
And I just went, no, it won't.
No, it won't.
You know I have given it to Godand no, it's still not gonna be
(24:46):
okay.
So do you think it makes ourrelationship with God less,
because we might shout thosethings out?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
No, I don't, you know he's't.
He's tough, he can take it.
And the name of my dad's bookthat he wrote was Sit Down, god,
I'm Angry.
This was after Forrest's deathand the backstory of that goes
to when we were kids, I think itwas 12.
Forrest was 10.
(25:13):
Rachel was 8.
And we'd just gotten tired ofbeing parented.
I think it was 12 or she was 10.
Rachel was eight and we'd justgotten tired of being parented,
I think.
And we went in and we saw momand dad lounging in their
bedroom and said you know, dadwas sitting in a black chair.
Dad, you know, who do we telloff when we get mad?
Yes, I remember.
Yes, he said you can tell it,you know.
(25:33):
And he, about it.
He said what do you mean, tellyou off?
And I said well, you know youget mad and you tell us off.
And he said, well, you can tellme off.
And he said, no, we can't,you'll get angry, you'll punish
us.
And he thought about it for aminute and looked at mom and
said you know, when I'm sittingin this black chair, you can
(26:02):
tell me anything you want and Iwill not punish you.
So that became our safe place,you know.
At the time I said, dad, when dowe get started?
And we just listed off everyinjustice we could think of.
But through the years it becamea safe place to talk to him
about.
You know, first car accidentForrest had had a little fender
bender told him about that.
Or the first night somebody hada sip of beer, or the first,
(26:24):
you know the first time.
So I was asked on a date andthe angst around that.
So, and after Forrest died andhe had told that story a lot and
his minister friends know aboutthat story.
So when Forrest died we were inthe hospital, or actually I
(26:44):
think before he was unconsciousnine days.
So during that time Dad was inthe lobby with some of his
minister friends in a room andhe said, guys, I'm going to put
God in the black chair.
He let God have it.
(27:06):
You know why my son, you know,hate me, not my son.
This is so unfair.
And so this was a ministeropenly expressing anger toward
god for something that washappened to his beloved son.
And I guess that honesty, thatblack chair, that that place to
(27:27):
be um open with how we feltabout tragedies that didn't seem
deserved, was something that Icontinue to experience in my
life and dad continued to giveme it's okay, baby, you can be
angry, it's okay.
Oh, how beautiful.
Yes, so it was a gift he gaveme really to be able to honestly
(27:53):
express that.
Otherwise it was like a releasevalve.
I had to express it.
It still remained faithful.
You know, I say that I've beenin a relationship with God for
as long as I can remember, butnot always on speaking terms.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Oh my gosh, I love that that sounds like another
title to a book that is so good.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Oh my gosh.
But he understands, he can takeit, you know.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
And I think your dad had a sermon.
How Mean is your God?
I mean, I would have loved tohave heard that sermon.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yes, it was a powerful one and I think I have
a recording of it somewhere.
He did send me all those tapes.
But yeah, it's when people say,you know, God doesn't give you
more than you can handle, oreverything happens for a reason,
or you alone have the strengthto deal with this.
(28:51):
You know, God gave you this.
It puts God in a, not acompanion position, and dad
always said you know, look forGod at not at the point of cause
, but at the point of cure howhe can help you get through a
situation.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
That's just so beautiful.
Also, you know your mom, shehad a little bit of a moment
herself when she was just reallytired of people asking her how
she was.
And you know, I mean I feltthat for her in that, you know,
I mean that people are reallyjust being nice when they're
(29:28):
asking that, but she's like,well, how do you think I am?
And I think that we all need tojust let that out.
People are trying to be nice,but it's really hard to present
that face of like I'm good, I'mgood, especially after she had
lost her husband.
That would just be horrific andyou know she just wanted to let
(29:49):
that out.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yes, it was really beautiful how she pivoted on
that one, because it was thesimple question people were
asking how are you?
And that's where she expressedwhat you said how do they think
I'm doing?
I lost my husband, you know thewhole.
So I was trying for severalphone calls, I was trying to be
(30:13):
very careful about not ask thatquestion and she at one point I
slipped and I said that you know, how are you doing?
I thought, oh my gosh, I'vetriggered her.
Here we go and she goes I'm adoing, that's how I'm doing, I'm
a doing.
And what a beautiful thing tosay.
(30:34):
You know, just not, I'm fine,I'm a doing, I am doing what's
next, what I need to be doing.
And that kind of became kind ofRachel and I are code word as
we're talking to each other howare you?
And if you're a doing, thatmeans you're struggling.
But you are, you know you'renot fine but you're a doing.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, that's a great way for her to answer during
such a hard time, and I think Iused to always just say I'm
peachy, oh, but I mean I guess Iwas being smart, but I also
really meant that.
You know, I was really justtrying to keep moving.
You went to your parents' housewhen you knew that your dad was
(31:20):
not going to make it, and oneof the things that I loved this
is again another one of thosebittersweet kind of things.
He met you outside when youarrived and you ran into his
arms and you said that youwouldn't have missed his
adventure.
You ran into his arms and yousaid that you wouldn't have
missed his adventure.
I just sat in that and I wasjust like, wow, I mean what I
(31:42):
mean?
I don't know if that's coping,but the way that your family
would call those types of hardtruths, adventures with
uncertain outcomes, I mean, didthat help you embrace the hard
realities?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
You know, I think what it did was it allowed me to
hold things lightly, becausewhen you're on an adventure
you're not sure exactly what'snext, but you know it's an
opportunity for learning.
You know that the unexpected isprobably going to happen.
For the guy that says what'splanned is possible, and my
(32:17):
mother saying was you know, gotto give my ducks in a row.
If you have plans that are tootightly held when they go
sideways, you're at a loss.
But if you hold them lightly,then you can pivot more.
It's their shock absorbers wetalked about earlier where you
can absorb a little bit more,but you can also be open to what
(32:40):
that circumstance offers.
I think one of the things Imentioned in the book and
probably both of them is one ofDad's things that he said that
is similar is no experience iswasted unless you let it be.
No experience is wasted unlessyou let it be.
(33:01):
And so if you approach thingsas an adventure, then you're
probably going to learnsomething here.
It might not be exactly whatyou want to learn, but that
opens it up, the opportunity up,and it's a really positive way
to look at hardship.
But I feel like if you havethat as a goal and fall short.
(33:22):
At least you've aimed high andmaybe what you are able to
achieve is just a little betterthan what you would have if you
just think of it as a list thatyou've got to move through a
dirge.
It's not, it's an opportunitytoo, of you know a dirge, it's
not.
It's an opportunity too, andhopefully it'll be something
(33:43):
positive will come out of it.
But it doesn't make the journeyany less laborious, but perhaps
it's more ripe withopportunities to learn if it's
approached that way.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
You're reminding me of when your husband did remarry
, and that was a hard truth andthat was something that would
have caused a lot of walls to goup.
You know, when Cindy, his newwife, she showed up I think it
was some kind of a store andshe's, like you know, trying to
let you know who she was.
And then she starts showing upat games and different things
(34:22):
like that.
I mean that would have been sohard.
But eventually she got closerto you.
You let her in more, you spentmore time with her, you even
traveled with her and it justshowed me that sometimes if we
let those walls down, you knowwe can let those hard things in.
So it might be better than wethink.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
And it has been.
It has been totally worth it.
We are still very good friends.
I can say that you know I loveher like a family member.
We've started that relationship, her.
(35:03):
We've started that relationship.
Initially, I think I wasoperating in my children's best
interest because I felt like itwould be too hard for everything
that my kids had been throughto try to absorb my dislike of
their father's choice for hiswife.
And there were many thingsabout her to love it was easy to
(35:24):
lean into that.
She was respectful of me, shewas helpful to my children, she
cared for my children.
So it's all about that focus.
Like what can I focus on forher?
With her, and she's a lovelyhuman being, I'm glad she's in
my life.
But it was not an easy choiceto I take that back.
(35:49):
After a while it became a veryeasy choice to choose my
children and their welfare overmy hurt or whatever I felt at
the time.
It was easy to look at theirbest interests and she wound up
being pretty easy to love, and Ithink that that's another theme
(36:12):
that kind of runs through yourbooks.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I know what your dad said in putting yourself first,
but you always took your wholeentire family's situation into
account while you made decisions.
I think that that really says alot about who you are.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Wow, thank you.
I appreciate that.
I will say one of her favoriteactresses was sophia lauren, and
they would, um.
They asked her you know how doyou fall in love with so many
men in all the movies?
That?
And she would say, um, I findsomething about them to love,
(36:56):
whether it be their eyes ortheir lips or their hair, and
focus on that part of them asshe's portraying this love, and
I think it led to my idea thateverybody sparkles in a
different place.
You know to look for people'ssparkle.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You said that in one of your morning fuels.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yes, yes.
So and I decided, you know, tolook for people's sparkle and
let my sparkle show more.
And that's when I bought somegold sequined boots.
And somebody had said whenyou're paralyzed, you know, in a
wheelchair, if you can't standup, stand out.
And so I'm like, I like myblingy jewelry and I like my
(37:42):
sparkle boots and you know, it'sfun, it's fun, and sometimes
you just got to go with what yougot right, you do and you do A
couple more things and thenwe'll end.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
But I wanted to touch on something that you said
about anger.
You know rightfully so.
You were angry, and you heardin Ernie Larson's self-help
tapes that unresolved anger hasadverse effects and all it does
is fixate us on the point of thepain.
So can you talk about notfocusing on the point of pain?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, I loved his illustration.
He talks about unresolved angerfixating you in your point of
pain, much like those projectsin science class where you would
have the insect and they wouldhave the little pin through them
and that you need to take thatpin out.
You know that's what it's liketo take the pin out of something
that's fixating you and yourpain.
(38:46):
So I think, again, it's thatprocess of being honest about
I'm in pain, in pain.
It's honest about your capacityto deal with that pain and who
(39:06):
can come around you to help yourelieve that pain and work
through that pain.
So I think that's reallyimportant because this
unresolved anger can pop out indifferent ways.
You don't even know.
You know it's about your angryand you kick the dog and it's
like when the dog's fought itknow.
You know it's about your angryand you kick the dog and it's
like when the dogs fought it was.
You know I would never kick mydog.
That's a strange idea.
(39:27):
It permeates in your attitudeand your continent.
You know you need to reallyfigure out a way to get that out
.
Unresolved anger.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, and it will come out.
It'll just shoot out indifferent ways and hit people
and things in a way that youknow it's just not productive,
right, I have to mention thisreally hard moment, but it's
also again another beautifulpart to your story, where your
sister, rachel, kind of broughtsomething out and your mom
(40:04):
passed and then Matthew'spassing right after.
Could you tell that story andwhat Rachel said to you?
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yes.
So it was another one of these.
Are you kidding me moment?
So we knew mom was at the endof her time we had been told
that, that she could be dying inthe next few weeks and my son,
(40:42):
matthew, had been in thehospital with pneumonia.
So these were sequentially, Ithink mother I'm not sure
exactly the order of I thinkMatthew was hospitalized right
after mother.
We got the word that motherwasn't doing very well.
So I first got the call that mymom had died and so I was
(41:04):
making funeral arrangements withthat, and then, six hours later
, I get the call that Matthewhas died and I just was stunned.
I just was absolutely stunned.
So Rachel was on her way,driving to West Virginia to
start making funeralarrangements for mom, and I
(41:24):
called her and I said, sissy,you're not going to believe this
.
Matthew died.
And no, she didn't even say Ican't believe it, she just said
well, sissy, maybe it's mom'stime to take care of him.
And it just it grounded me, itmade me be okay with it and it
(41:57):
was just two huge losses withinsix hours.
And so I called our ministerhere.
I had just called him aboutmom's funeral.
I said you're not going tobelieve this, but my son just
died too, and it's really hardto like catch a minister off
guard, right?
(42:18):
You know they heard it all, butoh, yeah, billy caught him off
guard.
so, uh, it was pretty amazing.
But I've rested in that throughthe years, through, you know,
his mom is with matthew andfinally, because he had suffered
so, uh, with the degenerationof the disease and the more
(42:41):
frequent seizures and it was hehad suffered so.
So it was really a comfort inthe thought, but I don't know
where she came up with that, butit was just perfect for that
time.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah, I think that she even said, you know, that
she had wanted to take care ofhim and she was just taking him
with her.
I mean, maybe I don't know, Imean that just was so perfect.
I mean the fact that they diedsix hours apart, it just really
did feel like your mom just tookhim with her and she's got him
(43:15):
now Through the years she wouldbe you, you know she would
remember.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
You know his birthday and just remember his.
You know anniversary of thisand anniversary of that and just
in a very loving way knew thatshe was, uh, would let me know
that he was primary in herthoughts, more so than anybody
else really.
So maybe it made the whole.
(43:40):
It all made sense what mysister said, it really did you
know I?
Speaker 1 (43:46):
I can just feel your pain.
I can feel, you know, yourbravery.
I can feel just how strong youare and I pictured a lot of your
life, at times barely keepingyour head above water.
Have you gone?
Because it feels, but I'm notgoing to answer it for you have
you gone from surviving to trulyliving again?
Speaker 2 (44:10):
You know, it's never finished.
It's a daily struggle.
Sometimes I think I live on theedge of a pity pit, but I think
there's a mentality of eventhough, whatever my latest
limitation is, I can still andreally leaning into that, I can
(44:34):
still do this, I can write this,I can write.
I'm not comfortable in thissituation, but I'm very
comfortable in that situationBecause the aging process
complicates things, and so mygoal is to live fully in this
(44:56):
life.
I didn't plan, and my goal isto also live what I believe,
which is life can be good nomatter what, and to try to seek
that good and to live for that.
So it's, I think I'm doing.
(45:19):
Uh, it's, I think I'm doing.
My mom would just say sometimes, baby, you know, you're doing
mighty well when I felt like Iwas falling short.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
I think I'm doing mighty well At least today,
right, yep, sometimes it'smoment by moment.
One of the most shocking wordsthat you wrote and I thought
about it later I was like, well,maybe it isn't that shocking
because you said I would changenothing Again.
(45:47):
You know, it just took me backto forest.
But you know this was a goal ofyours, a mantra.
You say we have to accept whatwe know and rethink the possible
.
You learn to live life with thelessons and you had so many
questions why my brother's death?
Why my paralysis?
(46:07):
Why my daughter's autism?
Why my mother's and son's deathat the same time?
I don't know the answers, but Iwill keep on living, even with
the unanswered questions, thatis just so beautifully said.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Thank you, you know I have a lot of them, but I think
it's where we place them in ourmind too.
If we are always lookingthrough the why instead of the
how, or all the injusticesinstead of the good that we have
left.
It makes life more challengingthan it needs to be.
(46:44):
There's a way to manage that,but it's worth it.
I say life can be good nomatter what, but can implies
work.
It's not.
Life is good.
Yes, life can be good, yes.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
There's effort in that.
There is effort, yes, and it isa two-way street.
I mean, god does you know he'llmeet us halfway, and that's
what I always say, anyway, andsometimes he does 80%, and you
know.
But it does take effort on ourparts and we can and he is, so
(47:19):
we just need to lean on him andwe really can, no matter how
hard it is.
We are full of other people'swords, you know.
I mean this was proof of it.
I mean we're just so and it'salso proof of why we need to
fill ourselves up with thepositive words.
What message would you likepeople to take from Rethinking
(47:43):
Possible and Mourning Fuel?
What are the main messages thatyou want them to get?
Speaker 2 (47:48):
I think that it is.
Life can be good no matter what, and it can mean to effort.
I think that it is a worthwhilepursuit to keep rethinking
possible, to keep rethinkingwhat you can and work toward
getting toward that, yes, andthat you can't do it alone.
(48:11):
To please reach out to otherpeople and let them help you in
your journey.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
How can people get your books?
I got mine on Amazon, but doyou have a website?
How can people get a hold ofyou?
Or you know, just read yourbooks.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yes, so my website is my name, becky Gally,
b-e-c-k-y-g-a-l-l-i dot com, andmy books are available anywhere
books are sold that's Amazon,barnes and Noble your
independent local bookstore andthey're also available through
my website, if you want to lookat all the places that they're.
(48:52):
They are locally or anywhereactually, and I also do a column
called thoughtful Thursdaysthat if they want to sign up for
that, they would welcome themon Thursdays, sometimes every
Thursday, sometimes once a month.
Only when I have something tosay, I'll give a little thought
(49:12):
for the day, something that'sinspired or encouraged or made
me think that week, and that'swhere your podcast will be.
I usually try to feature somepodcasts at the end of my
thoughtful Thursday so peoplecan learn more about what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Well, I think I'm going to join that email, so you
might see my email come up.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
I would love to.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Yeah, I want to read more, so I absolutely will.
Well, rebecca Galli or BeckyGalli for those who are friends,
and maybe I could call you thatyou are proof that, even with
unanswered questions, that wecan still choose to live fully.
Thank you for helping us refuelwhen we feel empty.
And you know, for all of ourlisteners, we always say that
(49:59):
there's purpose in the pain andthere is hope in the journey,
and I want to thank everybodyfor joining us today, and I want
to thank you, rebecca, forbeing here today and doing this
extraordinary journey with us.
Thank you so much and foreverybody out there, we will see
you next time.
Thanks so much, a pleasure tobe with you.
I just want to thank all of youfor listening to part one and
(50:22):
part two, and if you didn'tlisten to part one, please go
back and listen.
From learning to parent in awheelchair, to building a
nonprofit in the middle ofunimaginable grief, to
redefining love, resilience andwhat it really means to start
over.
Rebecca didn't just survive.
She created a life filled withpurpose, impact and grace.
(50:44):
So here's what I want to leaveyou with today there is no shame
in falling apart and there isno timeline for putting the
pieces back together.
Sometimes, the most powerfulthing you can do is simply keep
showing up, even in pain, evenin pajamas, even when all you
have to offer is your presence.
That's still enough.
(51:05):
If this story resonated withyou and I know that it did
please share this episode withsomeone who needs it.
Grab Rebecca's book RethinkingPossible and Morning Fuel.
Grab both of them.
Follow her journey atbeckygalleycom.
And remember your story isn'tover.
You may be in the middle of themess, but the ending is still
(51:26):
being written, and it's beingwritten by you.
Until next time, this is RealTalk with Tina and Anne and,
like we always say, rememberthere is purpose in the pain and
there is hope in the journey.
Keep feeling, keep healing and,as Rebecca reminded us, always
let your love be larger.
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