November 25, 2025 • 58 mins
A glossy holiday is easy to post, but the real story of Thanksgiving often lives in the places that ache. This year, our table looks different—empty chairs, fading memories, and traditions that no longer fit who we are now. Still, gratitude finds a seat beside grief.
We talk about the tenderness of a rare moment of clarity with a loved one whose memory is slipping, and the sting of anniversaries that return each November. Love doesn’t disappear; it changes shape. It becomes presence, comfort, breath.
We trace Thanksgiving back to its roots: gratitude amid survival. Through that lens, we practice a thanks that is honest and brave—naming what hurts and what holds us together. We share simple ways to stay grounded when life feels overwhelming: focus on the next step, protect small rituals, and notice the goodness that still rises.
Faith shows up as a steady hand when ours shake, and quiet phrases like “even here, I see good” become anchors. Nature’s rhythm reminds us that loss prunes but also deepens roots.
So we invite a truthful Thanksgiving: say what hurts, then say what remains. Teach our kids that courage is presence, not pretending.
If your heart is heavy, may gratitude gently hold you. If someone is missing, may their love warm the room. Press play for a reminder that even here, even now, we can still be grateful.
And we have a surprise at the end! Our kids talk about what Thanksgiving means to them!
From our families to yours--Happy Thanksgiving
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:08):
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Tina.
And I am Anne.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
And first of all, Tina, I'm going to cry.
And I'm not kidding.
I mean, for those who havejoined our podcast in the last
five, six months, whatever, thisis Tina.
She really does exist.
This is Tina.
This is the other half of thisfantastic show.
(00:34):
And she's just had some things.
She's been super busy.
She's on several radio stations.
She's super famous.
And she is still here.
But you are still here.
Yes.
It's proof because this isThanksgiving episode.
I am just so thankful for you.
(00:55):
I am thankful for you as well.
Thank you.
Well, I'm very blessed.
And when I knew we were going todo this show, I've been kind of
giddy.
So I'm excited too.
It's going to be fantastic.
Well, today's episode is adifferent kind of Thanksgiving.
It is the Thanksgiving groundedin real gratitude, not the
(01:19):
Hallmark kind, but the kind thatsits next to grief at the dinner
table, holds hands with it, andstill manages to find light.
This is when Thanksgivingchanges shape.
This year, I mean, I cannotbelieve it, Tina.
This year, this Thanksgiving,this November 25th, which falls
(01:41):
on a Tuesday, which is the exactway it was when my dad passed
away 50 years ago.
50 years.
I mean, it is wild to think thatI have been that long in my life
(02:02):
without my dad.
So every November, his memorysits at the table with me.
And still, you know, I findsomething to be thankful for.
Not because the pain is gone,because, you know, love changes
shape.
Thanksgiving changes shape.
(02:22):
I can always find something.
This Thanksgiving does not lookthe same at our table this year
for us.
We have a missing family member.
And, you know, it does make it alittle different.
It makes it hard.
But still, you know, I want tohonor the memories that we do
(02:43):
have and still find thankfulnessin things that are different or
hard.
SPEAKER_02 (02:49):
Yeah, isn't that so truthful?
I bet for so many and for myselfincluded, you know, Thanksgiving
is one of my favorite times ofthe year.
And it's a time where myself andmy boys, we intentionally focus
on gratitude.
But you're right, it's it's notthe same.
This year, different for me too,as well.
My mom's Alzheimer's hasprogressed.
(03:10):
We're in year five of this awfuldisease.
And while it does continue tobreak my heart, it is this
roller coaster ride.
I am learning to find differentthings with my mom and my family
to be grateful for.
So we celebrate the littlethings because aren't those
really the things that add up tothe biggest things when it's all
said and done?
(03:30):
I feel like the little thingsreally add up.
And so we celebrate when my momcan talk and it makes sense when
she verbally acknowledges whoyou are, when she smiles and
when she says, I love you.
There's just nothing that makesmy heart happier.
I because I miss her.
I miss her voice.
And so when I get to hear itlike that, it's it's the best
(03:53):
fun of my day.
So gratitude is not aboutpretending everything is okay.
It's about noticing what stillis.
Sometimes it is being thankfulfor things we are given that we
do not normally realize that wehave, and being able to do the
little things that maybe we takefor granted.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful.
And I'm so glad, I mean, youevery now and then will send me
a little thing that's going onwith you and your mom, or
something that just really madeyour day, or something that you
will just never forget.
And uh, I mean, that's just sobeautiful because she is still
in there.
And I can remember a littleconversation that we had, and it
(04:36):
was just like look in her eyes,she's still there.
SPEAKER_02 (04:39):
And it's yeah, I mean, it is finding feel it.
It's it's it's it's almostindescribable because they'll be
asked, Does your mom rememberwho you are?
Yes, she does.
She may not be able to say who Iam, but I know she knows who I
am.
SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
Right, right.
And I'm just so thankful thatyou, that she is right there
with you and that you get tocelebrate this Thanksgiving with
her.
Um, the things that we need tobe thankful for, most of them
are abstract, you know, becausea lot of the things we don't
have are some of those tangiblethings.
You know, we lose a person, ormaybe we lose some of these
(05:21):
things that we sit around thetable and we often say that
we're thankful for.
But a lot of it doesn't have todo with the tangible.
Regardless of what our tablelooks like, it is different.
And when I was a kid, ourThanksgiving was full.
I mean, we had so many peoplearound the table, but families
(05:41):
change, people pass, some driftor grow apart.
But you know, that table stillis.
It still is.
And traditions might shift.
There's something sacred aboutshowing up to that table every
year, no matter what it lookslike, no matter what our heart
(06:02):
might look like that day.
SPEAKER_02 (06:05):
Gosh, that is so good.
I totally agree.
I love that, and you have tokeep moving forward.
I, you know, what do they say?
Movement is medicine.
And I truly believe that.
You know, if you look atdifferent religions and the
like, you'll notice that theyall have something in common,
believe it or not.
(06:26):
And it's thankfulness that's atthe center of all of it.
Being thankful will help you seethings that maybe you just
couldn't before.
SPEAKER_01 (06:34):
As Thanksgiving shifts, for me, it's about
reflection.
It is about remembering who weare, where we've come from, and
what still keeps us going,regardless of pain, loss, and
what is missing, maybe that yearor from the table.
SPEAKER_02 (06:51):
That's so good too.
You know, I was thinking as Iwas driving home from dropping
my son off at school today thatif we don't stop to remember, we
will very likely forget.
And there are some things youyou don't want to regret or
forget, you know, you you wantto be able to remember.
But if you don't stop to thinkabout them, you will forget.
(07:13):
So let's talk about what isgratitude.
Gratitude is the type ofthankfulness that is real and
raw.
When life doesn't look like weplanned, and so many of us feel
that, when gratitude becomesless about the surface and more
about what's true, sometimes thething I'm thankful for isn't the
joy itself, but the strength tostill reach for it.
(07:37):
It's resilience that keepsshowing up, focusing on the
laughter instead in light ofwhat's missing.
So choosing, you know, it it isa choice.
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
It is a choice, absolutely, because I have been
in situations in this last yearwhere I could go down either
way.
Yeah.
I keep getting up and choosingto be a positive force, to
follow that positive force.
Because really, I mean, itdrains us of all of our energy
(08:12):
if we don't follow that path.
It really does benefit.
And it's being thankful whilestill feeling the loss, because
we can really hold both.
SPEAKER_02 (08:24):
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
And I think life is aboutholding space for both, finding
joy, thankfulness, gratitudealong the way will absolutely
keep you going.
We, you and I are living proofof that.
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
100%.
You and I have both been throughso much this year.
Some good, some bad, some mixed,you know.
But uh yeah, absolutely.
And we can hold both.
Being thankful for the peoplewho shaped us is really
important for the lessonslearned, for hard seasons, for
(08:59):
those abstract things that Italked about earlier that we do
not normally think about,because when life feels in
place, sometimes we are thankfulfor the most surface of things.
I think it is when we losethings, when life is different.
That is when we find out what weare really thankful for.
SPEAKER_02 (09:25):
And truly, you are spot on with that.
And I have thought those verysome of those very things, it
always brings me back to thelittle things that I'm thankful
for.
I mean, of course, at the top ismy health, my family, you know,
my home.
Things that you know might belike, yeah, cliche, cliche, but
it is true.
(09:46):
I mean, I I'm full of so muchgratitude, and we all can be.
When you look back at theoriginal meaning of
Thanksgiving, it wasn't aboutperfection.
It wasn't about feasts, it wasabout gratitude in survival.
Didn't you find thatinteresting?
Because when you stop and thinkabout that, you know, we're
(10:06):
we're we're talking pilgrimshere, you know?
Right, right.
And about coming together inshared humanity in harvest and
in hope, the soul ofThanksgiving is a sacred pause
to recognize life's fragilebeauty and the ways we're held
by both grace and one another.
SPEAKER_01 (10:25):
It is so beautiful what it was originally.
Before it was a nationalholiday, giving thanks, it was
spiritual.
And I think that we've reallylost our way, a way to
acknowledge harvest land andGod.
And it was about relationshipwith all those things.
It was about pausing to honorwhat is sustaining, about being
thankful for what is sustainingus, no matter what our
(10:48):
circumstances.
It is not about the food or thetable setting.
It is about being thankful forbeing carried through the
seasons that almost broke us.
It is about recognizing thatlove, faith, and connections are
what keep us standing when lifefeels uncertain.
And I can tell you that I've hadmany of those seasons this year.
(11:12):
And I think many of us have.
SPEAKER_02 (11:15):
I think you're so right.
But you are you are the epitomeof resilience, strength,
thanksgiving.
And your name would be rightnext to it because what a year
you've had.
And then what a year you've had.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You've made the choice, thechoices, and for your family to
(11:39):
find joy in the hard things.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
Yeah, I mean, I think that that's partly
important.
That's a really important thingthat you just said because I,
you know, we're being watched.
We're the models of to theyounger generations and how we
handle things.
And I think that that's soimportant that no matter what
that we go through, whatever wego through, is that we are
keeping um, that we keep goingforward.
(12:03):
We're forging through this path.
And we're showing them that theycan do it too.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (12:09):
Now, at its core, gratitude, you could say, is an
act of rebellion againstdespair.
And it says, even here, I willsee good.
Gratitude changes everything.
It turns what we have intoenough, it shifts your mindset.
You can have a tough year, atough day, and still be
(12:31):
grateful.
So, most years I do a gratitudegroup during November, and one
of my posts from a year or soago talked about auditing your
adversity.
So, not to emphasize thenegative, but to change your
mindset about it.
Instead of hoping to be rid ofit, to sit with it, make peace
with it, learn the art ofovercoming.
So I think it's important tonote what obstacles we've faced
(12:55):
and how we've either gotten pastit or made friends with it.
Don't you think?
SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
I love.
Even here, I see good.
I mean, I think I'm going to getthat on and frame it and hang
that up.
Even here, I see good.
That just speaks to my soul.
It just makes me almost want tocry.
I'm not, oh my, I could justlive in this because of how
(13:26):
profound it is.
Here, even here, I see good.
You know, I always thought itwas like this cliche thing when
adults would say, Yeah, well,I'm even thankful in the hard
times.
And, you know, I mean, I wasyoung and I really didn't
understand it.
I thought, well, I mean, howcould you be thankful in the
hard times?
(13:47):
Because I wasn't always, Ididn't always see it this way.
I did not see the strengthbehind it.
And with how much I feel thatthis year, you know, I can tell
you that what I feel behindthose words of even here, I see
the good.
I feel the strength.
I feel myself being carried.
(14:10):
I feel a peace beyondunderstanding.
And that's where trueThanksgiving is.
That's the heart of it, to bethankful, even here.
When the idea of Thanksgivingwas popularized, especially
through the 1863 proclamation byAbraham Lincoln during the Civil
(14:30):
War, it wasn't about food orfootball.
Could you imagine?
Food.
It wasn't about food orfootball.
It was about a nation in pain,pausing to heal to reflect on
the blessings amid brokenness.
I mean, stop to think about thatfor a minute.
This is not at all how we seethis holiday, at least not how I
(14:51):
was raised to see it.
And Lincoln called for gratitudein the midst of civil strife,
which reminds us thatThanksgiving was meant to be a
balm for division, a moment toremember who we are in a shared
humanity when everything feelsfractured.
SPEAKER_02 (15:07):
It's almost like he's talking about the time we
live in now in Middle East.
That's exactly what I thought.
I felt that because that is howit is now.
I I feel like you just gave usso much to digest that we could
stop the podcast here and justthink in silence, seriously, for
the rest of it, because it'sit's a hundred percent true.
(15:29):
It's it's so good.
So unfortunately, we have tomove on.
And although I want to keeptalking, I want to keep thinking
about what you just said, it wasso good.
But we're gonna talk aboutgratitude going beyond
circumstance.
So it is saying thank you, notjust for what we have, but for
what we've made it through.
(15:49):
It is the quiet kind ofThanksgiving that happens in the
hospital rooms at empty chairswhere loved ones once sat, in
the heart of someone who'ssimply still standing after a
hard year.
No matter how different ourThanksgiving looks, it's about
being thankful for what held usup.
Elbert Hubbard said, I wouldrather be able to appreciate the
(16:10):
things I cannot have than tohave the things I'm not able to
appreciate.
SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Oh, that's so beautiful.
Do you know?
I spent uh a Thanksgiving in thehospital when I was a kid.
So I did.
I mean, I even had hospitalturkey and all that stuff
because I had pneumonia.
Ah.
So I know.
(16:37):
I mean, that's it.
I just thought of that.
Yeah, talk about a crazyThanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02 (16:44):
But how's hospital turkey?
Not quite as good as homemade.
SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
Not it, no.
I think I could have peeled opena tan and just slapped it right
on the plate.
Yeah, with some, you know,quicky mashed potatoes with some
turkey gravy in the middle ofit.
SPEAKER_02 (17:04):
But yeah, knowing you, I bet you were still
thankful.
I bet you were.
SPEAKER_01 (17:09):
I was.
I mean, I don't know why I'mbuilt this way, but I just, you
know, somebody else just hadsaid that to me recently.
And I um about, you know, oh,the last six months that you've
had, I can't even imagine.
And I just said, no, you knowwhat?
I'm good.
SPEAKER_00 (17:27):
You're because I really am.
Amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
It really is about perspective, and I don't know.
And I think it it can be aboutchoice, but it's just being
thankful every morning when Iwake up and just, you know,
dealing with the thing right infront of me instead of looking
at the big picture sometimes.
Just if you look at the reallybig picture of something, it can
(17:51):
drown you.
So let's just focus on the stepin front of us.
I mean, it really makes adifference for me.
Oh, yeah, that's great advice.
Well, this year, maybe we canhonor this by practicing
truthful Thanksgiving.
I was thinking about that, youknow.
I mean, to have a truthfulThanksgiving, gratitude that
coexists with empathy andunderstanding rather than
(18:14):
erasing the suffering orwhatever happened this year, but
be honest about where we are andwhat emerged in the pain that we
can be thankful for.
I know for me, our table, like Isaid earlier, it looks
different.
And there is a part of me thatdidn't want to even think about
having Thanksgiving this year.
And it it does hurt.
(18:35):
But I will, because you knowwhat?
We also have to continuetraditions, like I kind of
touched on a little bit, andcontinue on and be thankful and
hold on to those things that gotus through for others, for the
young, for those who want orneed to see that even though
(18:56):
we're in a or in spite of, wecan still find things to be
thankful for.
I know for me, and this is crazybecause you know, I said that 50
years ago that my dad died, andI it was a Tuesday, the Tuesday
before Thanksgiving, and I wassitting downstairs watching TV,
(19:16):
and I heard my aunts and my momtalking, they were planning the
funeral while they were makingThanksgiving dinner.
And that was so crazy to me.
You want to talk about a mix,but with that said, I mean, I
think it was their way of stillproviding tradition, still
providing some normalcy in themidst of pain, trying to show
(19:40):
the family that even though wewere hurting, that we can still
come to the table and givethanks.
I mean, I really never thoughtabout that until this episode,
but it's really helped me tounderstand what Thanksgiving is
really supposed to be about.
I'm gonna go around the tablethis year and have an honest
(20:01):
Thanksgiving, not to not fake.
I'm gonna be like, you knowwhat?
This really stinks.
This hurts, but I'm stillthankful.
I'm gonna say what's hurting,and then I'm gonna say what I'm
still thankful for.
SPEAKER_02 (20:17):
I love that, and I'm stealing it.
I think that's so beautiful, andI do think that it will help
teach all of our children, evenmaybe adults, how to walk
through life and keep going.
Thanksgiving, we said thisbefore, it's not about a meal.
It is about choosing presenceover plenty.
(20:39):
It's about whispering thank youto life itself for breath, for
lessons, for love, forresilience, even when our plates
or hearts feel empty.
It really is true.
There is always something to bethankful for.
If you're here, you still havepurpose.
Use it because life is now.
(21:11):
If your heart is heavy, maygratitude be the thread that
holds you together.
And if you're missing someone,may their memory bring warmth,
not just pain.
If this year has been hard, mayyou still find joy in the small,
quiet ways it shows up.
It's gratitude that makes usjoyful.
SPEAKER_01 (21:29):
Hopefully, you can find grace in the middle of the
mess.
Maybe the person is not there,but being thankful for the love
you have for them.
Be thankful for the strengththat is holding you up and for
God that gives us the tools thatwe need in every situation.
Fifty years later, my dad isstill not at the table, but his
(21:50):
love is.
And he is still in me.
He still lives because, youknow, of my memories with him.
Isn't that the best part?
SPEAKER_02 (21:59):
Our memories we get to keep.
That love doesn't go away.
Thankfulness is in every story,every breath.
Love doesn't die, it transforms.
Gratitude helps us notice thepieces of love that are still
here, still holding us, evenwhen life looks different.
Gratitude is simply the practiceof catching those moments as
(22:20):
they pass by.
And it's how we stay connectedto the love that shaped us.
SPEAKER_01 (22:26):
This is what real Thanksgiving feels like being
held by something stronger thanwhat hurt me.
I mean, isn't that beautiful?
Being held by something that'sstronger than what actually hurt
me.
SPEAKER_02 (22:43):
I remember several years ago, and I remember
exactly where I was.
I was at a fall festival, and Iwas in one of the hardest
seasons that I had ever known atthe time.
(23:06):
And something made me look downat my phone for some reason, and
there was a quote there that wasa piece of my healing puzzle at
the time.
I can't remember the author ofthe quote, but it was that
premise of being held when youfeel like you can't do it
(23:30):
yourself.
It was talking about reallyabout God holding you, you know,
when everything else seems tobe, you know, falling, going
away, hurting, and you feel likeyou can't stand, it's He who is
holding you up.
And I can go right back to thatmoment and just thinking, oh my
(23:50):
gosh, how much it healed meright then and there.
I you ever have a time wherethat happens?
Just something so profound hitsyou that it changes everything.
SPEAKER_01 (24:02):
There, I have the visual that I've carried with me
in some of the worst times of mylife when you know there's four
footprints and then there's two,you know, and that's when he was
carrying me.
And I I have held on to thatmany different times because if
(24:22):
I if I didn't believe in God andI didn't believe that there were
times that he is actuallyholding me and carrying me
through, I don't think that Iwould be able to make it.
So I mean, he is probably one ofthe biggest things that I am
thankful for in a lot of theseasons.
SPEAKER_02 (24:40):
Gratitude is not pretending that everything is
okay, it's noticing what stillis.
And so going back to someexamples like you were talking
about, for me, my thoughtpattern and gratitude might look
something like this in theseason that I'm in.
My mom's memory is fading, buther eyes still light up.
And that light is something I'mthankful for.
(25:02):
Or gratitude isn't the absenceof loss, it's the presence of
love that remains.
I've actually been thinkingabout that so much in recent
weeks.
It has that has that particularaspect has really been on my
heart.
SPEAKER_01 (25:20):
Yeah, as um I'm sure as you see things change with
your mom, the more that you holdon to things like that.
Absolutely.
So here's another quote Thisyear my table is different, but
so am I.
And maybe that's where gratitudeactually begins.
(25:42):
I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (25:43):
I I I as you have me thinking about it.
I mean, doesn't it begin withus?
It is that choice.
It's that choice to be gratefulor not.
And just like it takes moremuscles to frown, I think that
it takes more courage to thinkabout gratitude and be thankful
when it's hard.
It's easy to play victim, feelsad and feel down.
(26:05):
Not that you can't feel thoseways, because you absolutely can
and have a right to, I know, incertain instances, but you also,
for the sake of your well-beingand your family, need to pick
yourself up too.
How about, you know, we'resharing a few quotes right now,
and how about this one?
Thankfulness grows quietly inthe places life broke us.
(26:25):
This one takes my breath away.
SPEAKER_00 (26:28):
I don't even know if I can finish it actually.
That's where we find what trulymatters.
Why did that one touch you somuch?
Where did it take you?
SPEAKER_02 (26:49):
What broke me was my mom's disease.
Of everything else I've beenthrough in life.
And I don't say that to feelsorry for me.
Losing my mom and the way thatI've lost her, you know, that
ambiguous loss.
She's still physically here, butnot mentally.
(27:12):
But thankfulness and gratitudehave grown from that hardnessy
place in ways I wouldn't haveseen coming.
It absolutely broke me, but itis also building me back up.
SPEAKER_01 (27:32):
See, I mean, isn't that interesting that the
hardest places are where we cangrow?
You know, it it's like yes, weare at the absolute worst of the
time, and we are hurting somuch, and broken really is the
(27:55):
only word that fits.
And then it's like right there aseed is planted that wasn't
there before.
Not even and and it grows, andwe're actually different and
stronger.
SPEAKER_02 (28:15):
And if you you know, going back to the seed and the
in the the tree analogy, it'syou know, you you have this seed
and and you stick it in the dirtwhere it's dark and it's cold,
and you need that rain so thatit can grow into something big
and beautiful that providesshade or it provides food for an
(28:38):
animal, you know, it it providesshelter, it but it has to grow
out of that hard, messy, cold,dark place.
SPEAKER_00 (28:46):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (28:47):
And that's where we find what truly matters.
Yeah, it it really is.
That's what this season has donefor me, is that earlier I kind
of said it, but in a way wherewhen when everything is perfect,
you are just thankful for thefood.
(29:10):
You're just thankful for youknow what it could be the most
simplest things, and you justdon't realize when you lose so
much that it really is thethings that are not seen.
Yeah that really is what you'rethankful for the most.
SPEAKER_02 (29:31):
It really is, you know, grief and gratitude are
not opposites, they arecompanions who teach us how to
live with a softer heart.
It's true, it really is true.
You know, if you think about it,if if you've ever judged someone
for how they handled something,and then you went through it
(29:52):
yourself, and it's one of thosethings like, wow, what an eye
opener of I didn't.
Didn't know how to handle that,what they were going through,
what I would do, but now here Iam.
And you get more empathetictowards the people that maybe
you looked at differently ordown on or judged for whatever
(30:15):
reason.
Because now you're going throughit too, and you didn't think it
would happen to you.
But that's that's reading that,that's what spoke to me.
And you know, I have a familymember who could, you know, talk
so much about that and how she'sreally lived with a softer heart
because of where grief has takenher.
SPEAKER_01 (30:37):
Grief has softened me.
I used to live a lot, I had a Ilived behind a wall.
And I no longer do that.
SPEAKER_02 (30:46):
The wall is the real.
We are real.
You know, that's that's why wenamed our podcast what we did.
SPEAKER_01 (30:53):
Well, real gratitude is courageous and it whispers
thank you in the middle of themess.
SPEAKER_02 (31:03):
Yeah, it does.
Well, how about something youtouched on earlier about
traditions?
Traditions don't keep us fromhurting.
We could look at it as theyremind us why we keep showing up
anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (31:18):
I tell myself all the time, just keep showing up.
Keep showing up.
SPEAKER_02 (31:24):
Yes, keep showing up.
It matters.
There's something to be saidfor.
We may have mentioned this onone of the episodes before, but
just think about it.
You know, when grief happens toyou and it strikes, you do want
the whole world to stop and justpause for a moment.
Just just imagine this.
(31:45):
If we all did that, we wouldonly be paused for our whole
entire life because everyone ishurting at some point every
single day.
And so there is some comfortknowing that we keep moving
forward, keep showing up anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (32:05):
I have an actual visual of one of the worst times
of my life, and I was down onthe floor because that's how bad
I was hurting.
That's how bad I was hurting.
And I felt myself actually tellmyself, get up.
And of course I did.
(32:26):
Because we can't stay downthere.
We just can't.
SPEAKER_02 (32:30):
The harder you stay, the harder it is to get back up.
I'm not saying don't havemoments, but literally set a
timer that you can feel this wayfor five, 10 minutes, and then
you have to get up.
SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
You have to gratitude becomes the bridge
between what we've lost and whatwe have.
SPEAKER_00 (32:54):
Man, all I can see is that rainbow.
SPEAKER_02 (32:59):
The rainbow that we talk about when we lose our
pets.
And how that bridge connects theliving here, or maybe I should
say the death here to the livingin heaven.
And that's a beautiful piece ofimagery.
SPEAKER_01 (33:18):
Yeah, it has really created a visual for me with
that bridge.
SPEAKER_02 (33:23):
I I I love it.
Well, this has been such aheartwarming episode.
I'm so glad for all of youjoining us to hear it today.
And I'm I'm confident it's givenyou so much to think about.
My mind is spinning right now.
There is, there's so much meatand potatoes while we're
speaking of Thanksgiving that tochew on from this podcast.
(33:45):
So from our table to yours, wewish you peace, comfort, and
courage to be thankful for thereal, for the different, for
hope, for being able to givethanks even when you can't.
You feel like you can't, Ishould say.
Just even when it's hard.
You know, think of that.
(34:06):
I can be grateful even when, andyou fill in the blank because
it's the things that we don'tsee that sustain us.
It gives us strength, it allowsus to sit next to grief at the
dinner table, hold hands withit, and still find that light.
It's about embracing aThanksgiving that is changing
shape.
One of the most transformativequotes of my whole entire life
(34:29):
came when I was a collegestudent and I was walking from
one end of the campus toanother.
And on a church sign, before Iwalked into the door, and it was
a hard season at this time, too.
But you look back and you'relike, boy, I thought that was
hard.
Yeah, only I knew what wascoming, right?
Yeah.
Um, but at that time, there wasa sign on a church billboard
(34:51):
that said, When you're fearfulof change, think of the beauty
of autumn.
And it completely changed theway I looked at change.
And now I always see thosebeautiful colored leaves, which
is one of my favorite thingsabout the season of fall.
And I've I'm learning the olderI get to embrace change.
(35:13):
So we want to thank you forlistening.
Embrace thankfulness thisseason.
You will never regret it.
SPEAKER_01 (35:20):
Just want to say before we finish that um, you
know, I just had this likeepiphany.
I when you were talking aboutfall, uh when we look at there's
always loss in fall.
You know, there's it and itstarts a brand new season.
(35:44):
To me, when everything dies, oryou know, the leaves are all
falling, everything is kind ofwithering after so everything
was so beautiful because fall isone of the most beautiful times.
It is.
And then we start the newseason, we go through the cold,
and then we go into, you know,everything is blooming and
(36:08):
blossoming and growing, and it'sjust beautiful.
And then we go into anothergreat, beautiful summer, which
is another great season, andthen it happens again, you know.
And each time I just I mean, Ithink that God had this planned
all along to do this seasonsthing with us to give us these
(36:33):
visuals of what it is like to gothrough life and go through
these seasons.
And every single time, guesswhat happens?
There is another spring.
Because you grow.
You're right.
SPEAKER_02 (36:46):
There is another one.
You grow and you change and youadapt and you overcome and you
keep going.
Yeah, that's that's what youhave to do.
SPEAKER_01 (36:59):
The tree is taller, the the flowers are taller and
more beautiful than the yearbefore.
And you know, I mean, they justkeep blossoming every single
time.
And I mean, yeah, there's weeds,and you have to get rid of those
too.
SPEAKER_02 (37:17):
But yeah, but isn't that life?
Isn't that real life?
It is.
You have to weed the, you know,the bad, the the part that's
that's destroying your peace.
And there's there's always gonnabe those weeds.
You just gotta keep yanking themout, tossing them, and watering
what helps you feel peace, whatmakes you grow, what helps you
(37:38):
to be the best version ofyourself.
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
I mean, this was so beautiful, Tina.
I just love this episode.
I could talk about gratitudeprobably for days on end.
Well, yeah, you are thegratitude person.
And I love that about you.
But we do have to finish theepisode.
So, as we always say, there ispurpose in the pain and there is
(38:04):
hope in the journey, and Tinawill be back again.
Oh, you got it.
We will see you next time.
SPEAKER_02 (38:14):
Happy Thanksgiving.
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Tina.
And I am Anne.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
And first of all, Tina, I'm going to cry.
And I'm not kidding.
I mean, for those who havejoined our podcast in the last
five, six months, whatever, thisis Tina.
She really does exist.
This is Tina.
This is the other half of thisfantastic show.
(00:34):
And she's just had some things.
She's been super busy.
She's on several radio stations.
She's super famous.
And she is still here.
But you are still here.
Yes.
It's proof because this isThanksgiving episode.
I am just so thankful for you.
(00:55):
I am thankful for you as well.
Thank you.
Well, I'm very blessed.
And when I knew we were going todo this show, I've been kind of
giddy.
So I'm excited too.
It's going to be fantastic.
Well, today's episode is adifferent kind of Thanksgiving.
It is the Thanksgiving groundedin real gratitude, not the
(01:19):
Hallmark kind, but the kind thatsits next to grief at the dinner
table, holds hands with it, andstill manages to find light.
This is when Thanksgivingchanges shape.
This year, I mean, I cannotbelieve it, Tina.
This year, this Thanksgiving,this November 25th, which falls
(01:41):
on a Tuesday, which is the exactway it was when my dad passed
away 50 years ago.
50 years.
I mean, it is wild to think thatI have been that long in my life
(02:02):
without my dad.
So every November, his memorysits at the table with me.
And still, you know, I findsomething to be thankful for.
Not because the pain is gone,because, you know, love changes
shape.
Thanksgiving changes shape.
(02:22):
I can always find something.
This Thanksgiving does not lookthe same at our table this year
for us.
We have a missing family member.
And, you know, it does make it alittle different.
It makes it hard.
But still, you know, I want tohonor the memories that we do
(02:43):
have and still find thankfulnessin things that are different or
hard.
SPEAKER_02 (02:49):
Yeah, isn't that so truthful?
I bet for so many and for myselfincluded, you know, Thanksgiving
is one of my favorite times ofthe year.
And it's a time where myself andmy boys, we intentionally focus
on gratitude.
But you're right, it's it's notthe same.
This year, different for me too,as well.
My mom's Alzheimer's hasprogressed.
(03:10):
We're in year five of this awfuldisease.
And while it does continue tobreak my heart, it is this
roller coaster ride.
I am learning to find differentthings with my mom and my family
to be grateful for.
So we celebrate the littlethings because aren't those
really the things that add up tothe biggest things when it's all
said and done?
(03:30):
I feel like the little thingsreally add up.
And so we celebrate when my momcan talk and it makes sense when
she verbally acknowledges whoyou are, when she smiles and
when she says, I love you.
There's just nothing that makesmy heart happier.
I because I miss her.
I miss her voice.
And so when I get to hear itlike that, it's it's the best
(03:53):
fun of my day.
So gratitude is not aboutpretending everything is okay.
It's about noticing what stillis.
Sometimes it is being thankfulfor things we are given that we
do not normally realize that wehave, and being able to do the
little things that maybe we takefor granted.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful.
And I'm so glad, I mean, youevery now and then will send me
a little thing that's going onwith you and your mom, or
something that just really madeyour day, or something that you
will just never forget.
And uh, I mean, that's just sobeautiful because she is still
in there.
And I can remember a littleconversation that we had, and it
(04:36):
was just like look in her eyes,she's still there.
SPEAKER_02 (04:39):
And it's yeah, I mean, it is finding feel it.
It's it's it's it's almostindescribable because they'll be
asked, Does your mom rememberwho you are?
Yes, she does.
She may not be able to say who Iam, but I know she knows who I
am.
SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
Right, right.
And I'm just so thankful thatyou, that she is right there
with you and that you get tocelebrate this Thanksgiving with
her.
Um, the things that we need tobe thankful for, most of them
are abstract, you know, becausea lot of the things we don't
have are some of those tangiblethings.
You know, we lose a person, ormaybe we lose some of these
(05:21):
things that we sit around thetable and we often say that
we're thankful for.
But a lot of it doesn't have todo with the tangible.
Regardless of what our tablelooks like, it is different.
And when I was a kid, ourThanksgiving was full.
I mean, we had so many peoplearound the table, but families
(05:41):
change, people pass, some driftor grow apart.
But you know, that table stillis.
It still is.
And traditions might shift.
There's something sacred aboutshowing up to that table every
year, no matter what it lookslike, no matter what our heart
(06:02):
might look like that day.
SPEAKER_02 (06:05):
Gosh, that is so good.
I totally agree.
I love that, and you have tokeep moving forward.
I, you know, what do they say?
Movement is medicine.
And I truly believe that.
You know, if you look atdifferent religions and the
like, you'll notice that theyall have something in common,
believe it or not.
(06:26):
And it's thankfulness that's atthe center of all of it.
Being thankful will help you seethings that maybe you just
couldn't before.
SPEAKER_01 (06:34):
As Thanksgiving shifts, for me, it's about
reflection.
It is about remembering who weare, where we've come from, and
what still keeps us going,regardless of pain, loss, and
what is missing, maybe that yearor from the table.
SPEAKER_02 (06:51):
That's so good too.
You know, I was thinking as Iwas driving home from dropping
my son off at school today thatif we don't stop to remember, we
will very likely forget.
And there are some things youyou don't want to regret or
forget, you know, you you wantto be able to remember.
But if you don't stop to thinkabout them, you will forget.
(07:13):
So let's talk about what isgratitude.
Gratitude is the type ofthankfulness that is real and
raw.
When life doesn't look like weplanned, and so many of us feel
that, when gratitude becomesless about the surface and more
about what's true, sometimes thething I'm thankful for isn't the
joy itself, but the strength tostill reach for it.
(07:37):
It's resilience that keepsshowing up, focusing on the
laughter instead in light ofwhat's missing.
So choosing, you know, it it isa choice.
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
It is a choice, absolutely, because I have been
in situations in this last yearwhere I could go down either
way.
Yeah.
I keep getting up and choosingto be a positive force, to
follow that positive force.
Because really, I mean, itdrains us of all of our energy
(08:12):
if we don't follow that path.
It really does benefit.
And it's being thankful whilestill feeling the loss, because
we can really hold both.
SPEAKER_02 (08:24):
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
And I think life is aboutholding space for both, finding
joy, thankfulness, gratitudealong the way will absolutely
keep you going.
We, you and I are living proofof that.
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
100%.
You and I have both been throughso much this year.
Some good, some bad, some mixed,you know.
But uh yeah, absolutely.
And we can hold both.
Being thankful for the peoplewho shaped us is really
important for the lessonslearned, for hard seasons, for
(08:59):
those abstract things that Italked about earlier that we do
not normally think about,because when life feels in
place, sometimes we are thankfulfor the most surface of things.
I think it is when we losethings, when life is different.
That is when we find out what weare really thankful for.
SPEAKER_02 (09:25):
And truly, you are spot on with that.
And I have thought those verysome of those very things, it
always brings me back to thelittle things that I'm thankful
for.
I mean, of course, at the top ismy health, my family, you know,
my home.
Things that you know might belike, yeah, cliche, cliche, but
it is true.
(09:46):
I mean, I I'm full of so muchgratitude, and we all can be.
When you look back at theoriginal meaning of
Thanksgiving, it wasn't aboutperfection.
It wasn't about feasts, it wasabout gratitude in survival.
Didn't you find thatinteresting?
Because when you stop and thinkabout that, you know, we're
(10:06):
we're we're talking pilgrimshere, you know?
Right, right.
And about coming together inshared humanity in harvest and
in hope, the soul ofThanksgiving is a sacred pause
to recognize life's fragilebeauty and the ways we're held
by both grace and one another.
SPEAKER_01 (10:25):
It is so beautiful what it was originally.
Before it was a nationalholiday, giving thanks, it was
spiritual.
And I think that we've reallylost our way, a way to
acknowledge harvest land andGod.
And it was about relationshipwith all those things.
It was about pausing to honorwhat is sustaining, about being
thankful for what is sustainingus, no matter what our
(10:48):
circumstances.
It is not about the food or thetable setting.
It is about being thankful forbeing carried through the
seasons that almost broke us.
It is about recognizing thatlove, faith, and connections are
what keep us standing when lifefeels uncertain.
And I can tell you that I've hadmany of those seasons this year.
(11:12):
And I think many of us have.
SPEAKER_02 (11:15):
I think you're so right.
But you are you are the epitomeof resilience, strength,
thanksgiving.
And your name would be rightnext to it because what a year
you've had.
And then what a year you've had.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You've made the choice, thechoices, and for your family to
(11:39):
find joy in the hard things.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
Yeah, I mean, I think that that's partly
important.
That's a really important thingthat you just said because I,
you know, we're being watched.
We're the models of to theyounger generations and how we
handle things.
And I think that that's soimportant that no matter what
that we go through, whatever wego through, is that we are
keeping um, that we keep goingforward.
(12:03):
We're forging through this path.
And we're showing them that theycan do it too.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (12:09):
Now, at its core, gratitude, you could say, is an
act of rebellion againstdespair.
And it says, even here, I willsee good.
Gratitude changes everything.
It turns what we have intoenough, it shifts your mindset.
You can have a tough year, atough day, and still be
(12:31):
grateful.
So, most years I do a gratitudegroup during November, and one
of my posts from a year or soago talked about auditing your
adversity.
So, not to emphasize thenegative, but to change your
mindset about it.
Instead of hoping to be rid ofit, to sit with it, make peace
with it, learn the art ofovercoming.
So I think it's important tonote what obstacles we've faced
(12:55):
and how we've either gotten pastit or made friends with it.
Don't you think?
SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
I love.
Even here, I see good.
I mean, I think I'm going to getthat on and frame it and hang
that up.
Even here, I see good.
That just speaks to my soul.
It just makes me almost want tocry.
I'm not, oh my, I could justlive in this because of how
(13:26):
profound it is.
Here, even here, I see good.
You know, I always thought itwas like this cliche thing when
adults would say, Yeah, well,I'm even thankful in the hard
times.
And, you know, I mean, I wasyoung and I really didn't
understand it.
I thought, well, I mean, howcould you be thankful in the
hard times?
(13:47):
Because I wasn't always, Ididn't always see it this way.
I did not see the strengthbehind it.
And with how much I feel thatthis year, you know, I can tell
you that what I feel behindthose words of even here, I see
the good.
I feel the strength.
I feel myself being carried.
(14:10):
I feel a peace beyondunderstanding.
And that's where trueThanksgiving is.
That's the heart of it, to bethankful, even here.
When the idea of Thanksgivingwas popularized, especially
through the 1863 proclamation byAbraham Lincoln during the Civil
(14:30):
War, it wasn't about food orfootball.
Could you imagine?
Food.
It wasn't about food orfootball.
It was about a nation in pain,pausing to heal to reflect on
the blessings amid brokenness.
I mean, stop to think about thatfor a minute.
This is not at all how we seethis holiday, at least not how I
(14:51):
was raised to see it.
And Lincoln called for gratitudein the midst of civil strife,
which reminds us thatThanksgiving was meant to be a
balm for division, a moment toremember who we are in a shared
humanity when everything feelsfractured.
SPEAKER_02 (15:07):
It's almost like he's talking about the time we
live in now in Middle East.
That's exactly what I thought.
I felt that because that is howit is now.
I I feel like you just gave usso much to digest that we could
stop the podcast here and justthink in silence, seriously, for
the rest of it, because it'sit's a hundred percent true.
(15:29):
It's it's so good.
So unfortunately, we have tomove on.
And although I want to keeptalking, I want to keep thinking
about what you just said, it wasso good.
But we're gonna talk aboutgratitude going beyond
circumstance.
So it is saying thank you, notjust for what we have, but for
what we've made it through.
(15:49):
It is the quiet kind ofThanksgiving that happens in the
hospital rooms at empty chairswhere loved ones once sat, in
the heart of someone who'ssimply still standing after a
hard year.
No matter how different ourThanksgiving looks, it's about
being thankful for what held usup.
Elbert Hubbard said, I wouldrather be able to appreciate the
(16:10):
things I cannot have than tohave the things I'm not able to
appreciate.
SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Oh, that's so beautiful.
Do you know?
I spent uh a Thanksgiving in thehospital when I was a kid.
So I did.
I mean, I even had hospitalturkey and all that stuff
because I had pneumonia.
Ah.
So I know.
(16:37):
I mean, that's it.
I just thought of that.
Yeah, talk about a crazyThanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02 (16:44):
But how's hospital turkey?
Not quite as good as homemade.
SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
Not it, no.
I think I could have peeled opena tan and just slapped it right
on the plate.
Yeah, with some, you know,quicky mashed potatoes with some
turkey gravy in the middle ofit.
SPEAKER_02 (17:04):
But yeah, knowing you, I bet you were still
thankful.
I bet you were.
SPEAKER_01 (17:09):
I was.
I mean, I don't know why I'mbuilt this way, but I just, you
know, somebody else just hadsaid that to me recently.
And I um about, you know, oh,the last six months that you've
had, I can't even imagine.
And I just said, no, you knowwhat?
I'm good.
SPEAKER_00 (17:27):
You're because I really am.
Amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
It really is about perspective, and I don't know.
And I think it it can be aboutchoice, but it's just being
thankful every morning when Iwake up and just, you know,
dealing with the thing right infront of me instead of looking
at the big picture sometimes.
Just if you look at the reallybig picture of something, it can
(17:51):
drown you.
So let's just focus on the stepin front of us.
I mean, it really makes adifference for me.
Oh, yeah, that's great advice.
Well, this year, maybe we canhonor this by practicing
truthful Thanksgiving.
I was thinking about that, youknow.
I mean, to have a truthfulThanksgiving, gratitude that
coexists with empathy andunderstanding rather than
(18:14):
erasing the suffering orwhatever happened this year, but
be honest about where we are andwhat emerged in the pain that we
can be thankful for.
I know for me, our table, like Isaid earlier, it looks
different.
And there is a part of me thatdidn't want to even think about
having Thanksgiving this year.
And it it does hurt.
(18:35):
But I will, because you knowwhat?
We also have to continuetraditions, like I kind of
touched on a little bit, andcontinue on and be thankful and
hold on to those things that gotus through for others, for the
young, for those who want orneed to see that even though
(18:56):
we're in a or in spite of, wecan still find things to be
thankful for.
I know for me, and this is crazybecause you know, I said that 50
years ago that my dad died, andI it was a Tuesday, the Tuesday
before Thanksgiving, and I wassitting downstairs watching TV,
(19:16):
and I heard my aunts and my momtalking, they were planning the
funeral while they were makingThanksgiving dinner.
And that was so crazy to me.
You want to talk about a mix,but with that said, I mean, I
think it was their way of stillproviding tradition, still
providing some normalcy in themidst of pain, trying to show
(19:40):
the family that even though wewere hurting, that we can still
come to the table and givethanks.
I mean, I really never thoughtabout that until this episode,
but it's really helped me tounderstand what Thanksgiving is
really supposed to be about.
I'm gonna go around the tablethis year and have an honest
(20:01):
Thanksgiving, not to not fake.
I'm gonna be like, you knowwhat?
This really stinks.
This hurts, but I'm stillthankful.
I'm gonna say what's hurting,and then I'm gonna say what I'm
still thankful for.
SPEAKER_02 (20:17):
I love that, and I'm stealing it.
I think that's so beautiful, andI do think that it will help
teach all of our children, evenmaybe adults, how to walk
through life and keep going.
Thanksgiving, we said thisbefore, it's not about a meal.
It is about choosing presenceover plenty.
(20:39):
It's about whispering thank youto life itself for breath, for
lessons, for love, forresilience, even when our plates
or hearts feel empty.
It really is true.
There is always something to bethankful for.
If you're here, you still havepurpose.
Use it because life is now.
(21:11):
If your heart is heavy, maygratitude be the thread that
holds you together.
And if you're missing someone,may their memory bring warmth,
not just pain.
If this year has been hard, mayyou still find joy in the small,
quiet ways it shows up.
It's gratitude that makes usjoyful.
SPEAKER_01 (21:29):
Hopefully, you can find grace in the middle of the
mess.
Maybe the person is not there,but being thankful for the love
you have for them.
Be thankful for the strengththat is holding you up and for
God that gives us the tools thatwe need in every situation.
Fifty years later, my dad isstill not at the table, but his
(21:50):
love is.
And he is still in me.
He still lives because, youknow, of my memories with him.
Isn't that the best part?
SPEAKER_02 (21:59):
Our memories we get to keep.
That love doesn't go away.
Thankfulness is in every story,every breath.
Love doesn't die, it transforms.
Gratitude helps us notice thepieces of love that are still
here, still holding us, evenwhen life looks different.
Gratitude is simply the practiceof catching those moments as
(22:20):
they pass by.
And it's how we stay connectedto the love that shaped us.
SPEAKER_01 (22:26):
This is what real Thanksgiving feels like being
held by something stronger thanwhat hurt me.
I mean, isn't that beautiful?
Being held by something that'sstronger than what actually hurt
me.
SPEAKER_02 (22:43):
I remember several years ago, and I remember
exactly where I was.
I was at a fall festival, and Iwas in one of the hardest
seasons that I had ever known atthe time.
(23:06):
And something made me look downat my phone for some reason, and
there was a quote there that wasa piece of my healing puzzle at
the time.
I can't remember the author ofthe quote, but it was that
premise of being held when youfeel like you can't do it
(23:30):
yourself.
It was talking about reallyabout God holding you, you know,
when everything else seems tobe, you know, falling, going
away, hurting, and you feel likeyou can't stand, it's He who is
holding you up.
And I can go right back to thatmoment and just thinking, oh my
(23:50):
gosh, how much it healed meright then and there.
I you ever have a time wherethat happens?
Just something so profound hitsyou that it changes everything.
SPEAKER_01 (24:02):
There, I have the visual that I've carried with me
in some of the worst times of mylife when you know there's four
footprints and then there's two,you know, and that's when he was
carrying me.
And I I have held on to thatmany different times because if
(24:22):
I if I didn't believe in God andI didn't believe that there were
times that he is actuallyholding me and carrying me
through, I don't think that Iwould be able to make it.
So I mean, he is probably one ofthe biggest things that I am
thankful for in a lot of theseasons.
SPEAKER_02 (24:40):
Gratitude is not pretending that everything is
okay, it's noticing what stillis.
And so going back to someexamples like you were talking
about, for me, my thoughtpattern and gratitude might look
something like this in theseason that I'm in.
My mom's memory is fading, buther eyes still light up.
And that light is something I'mthankful for.
(25:02):
Or gratitude isn't the absenceof loss, it's the presence of
love that remains.
I've actually been thinkingabout that so much in recent
weeks.
It has that has that particularaspect has really been on my
heart.
SPEAKER_01 (25:20):
Yeah, as um I'm sure as you see things change with
your mom, the more that you holdon to things like that.
Absolutely.
So here's another quote Thisyear my table is different, but
so am I.
And maybe that's where gratitudeactually begins.
(25:42):
I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (25:43):
I I I as you have me thinking about it.
I mean, doesn't it begin withus?
It is that choice.
It's that choice to be gratefulor not.
And just like it takes moremuscles to frown, I think that
it takes more courage to thinkabout gratitude and be thankful
when it's hard.
It's easy to play victim, feelsad and feel down.
(26:05):
Not that you can't feel thoseways, because you absolutely can
and have a right to, I know, incertain instances, but you also,
for the sake of your well-beingand your family, need to pick
yourself up too.
How about, you know, we'resharing a few quotes right now,
and how about this one?
Thankfulness grows quietly inthe places life broke us.
(26:25):
This one takes my breath away.
SPEAKER_00 (26:28):
I don't even know if I can finish it actually.
That's where we find what trulymatters.
Why did that one touch you somuch?
Where did it take you?
SPEAKER_02 (26:49):
What broke me was my mom's disease.
Of everything else I've beenthrough in life.
And I don't say that to feelsorry for me.
Losing my mom and the way thatI've lost her, you know, that
ambiguous loss.
She's still physically here, butnot mentally.
(27:12):
But thankfulness and gratitudehave grown from that hardnessy
place in ways I wouldn't haveseen coming.
It absolutely broke me, but itis also building me back up.
SPEAKER_01 (27:32):
See, I mean, isn't that interesting that the
hardest places are where we cangrow?
You know, it it's like yes, weare at the absolute worst of the
time, and we are hurting somuch, and broken really is the
(27:55):
only word that fits.
And then it's like right there aseed is planted that wasn't
there before.
Not even and and it grows, andwe're actually different and
stronger.
SPEAKER_02 (28:15):
And if you you know, going back to the seed and the
in the the tree analogy, it'syou know, you you have this seed
and and you stick it in the dirtwhere it's dark and it's cold,
and you need that rain so thatit can grow into something big
and beautiful that providesshade or it provides food for an
(28:38):
animal, you know, it it providesshelter, it but it has to grow
out of that hard, messy, cold,dark place.
SPEAKER_00 (28:46):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (28:47):
And that's where we find what truly matters.
Yeah, it it really is.
That's what this season has donefor me, is that earlier I kind
of said it, but in a way wherewhen when everything is perfect,
you are just thankful for thefood.
(29:10):
You're just thankful for youknow what it could be the most
simplest things, and you justdon't realize when you lose so
much that it really is thethings that are not seen.
Yeah that really is what you'rethankful for the most.
SPEAKER_02 (29:31):
It really is, you know, grief and gratitude are
not opposites, they arecompanions who teach us how to
live with a softer heart.
It's true, it really is true.
You know, if you think about it,if if you've ever judged someone
for how they handled something,and then you went through it
(29:52):
yourself, and it's one of thosethings like, wow, what an eye
opener of I didn't.
Didn't know how to handle that,what they were going through,
what I would do, but now here Iam.
And you get more empathetictowards the people that maybe
you looked at differently ordown on or judged for whatever
(30:15):
reason.
Because now you're going throughit too, and you didn't think it
would happen to you.
But that's that's reading that,that's what spoke to me.
And you know, I have a familymember who could, you know, talk
so much about that and how she'sreally lived with a softer heart
because of where grief has takenher.
SPEAKER_01 (30:37):
Grief has softened me.
I used to live a lot, I had a Ilived behind a wall.
And I no longer do that.
SPEAKER_02 (30:46):
The wall is the real.
We are real.
You know, that's that's why wenamed our podcast what we did.
SPEAKER_01 (30:53):
Well, real gratitude is courageous and it whispers
thank you in the middle of themess.
SPEAKER_02 (31:03):
Yeah, it does.
Well, how about something youtouched on earlier about
traditions?
Traditions don't keep us fromhurting.
We could look at it as theyremind us why we keep showing up
anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (31:18):
I tell myself all the time, just keep showing up.
Keep showing up.
SPEAKER_02 (31:24):
Yes, keep showing up.
It matters.
There's something to be saidfor.
We may have mentioned this onone of the episodes before, but
just think about it.
You know, when grief happens toyou and it strikes, you do want
the whole world to stop and justpause for a moment.
Just just imagine this.
(31:45):
If we all did that, we wouldonly be paused for our whole
entire life because everyone ishurting at some point every
single day.
And so there is some comfortknowing that we keep moving
forward, keep showing up anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (32:05):
I have an actual visual of one of the worst times
of my life, and I was down onthe floor because that's how bad
I was hurting.
That's how bad I was hurting.
And I felt myself actually tellmyself, get up.
And of course I did.
(32:26):
Because we can't stay downthere.
We just can't.
SPEAKER_02 (32:30):
The harder you stay, the harder it is to get back up.
I'm not saying don't havemoments, but literally set a
timer that you can feel this wayfor five, 10 minutes, and then
you have to get up.
SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
You have to gratitude becomes the bridge
between what we've lost and whatwe have.
SPEAKER_00 (32:54):
Man, all I can see is that rainbow.
SPEAKER_02 (32:59):
The rainbow that we talk about when we lose our
pets.
And how that bridge connects theliving here, or maybe I should
say the death here to the livingin heaven.
And that's a beautiful piece ofimagery.
SPEAKER_01 (33:18):
Yeah, it has really created a visual for me with
that bridge.
SPEAKER_02 (33:23):
I I I love it.
Well, this has been such aheartwarming episode.
I'm so glad for all of youjoining us to hear it today.
And I'm I'm confident it's givenyou so much to think about.
My mind is spinning right now.
There is, there's so much meatand potatoes while we're
speaking of Thanksgiving that tochew on from this podcast.
(33:45):
So from our table to yours, wewish you peace, comfort, and
courage to be thankful for thereal, for the different, for
hope, for being able to givethanks even when you can't.
You feel like you can't, Ishould say.
Just even when it's hard.
You know, think of that.
(34:06):
I can be grateful even when, andyou fill in the blank because
it's the things that we don'tsee that sustain us.
It gives us strength, it allowsus to sit next to grief at the
dinner table, hold hands withit, and still find that light.
It's about embracing aThanksgiving that is changing
shape.
One of the most transformativequotes of my whole entire life
(34:29):
came when I was a collegestudent and I was walking from
one end of the campus toanother.
And on a church sign, before Iwalked into the door, and it was
a hard season at this time, too.
But you look back and you'relike, boy, I thought that was
hard.
Yeah, only I knew what wascoming, right?
Yeah.
Um, but at that time, there wasa sign on a church billboard
(34:51):
that said, When you're fearfulof change, think of the beauty
of autumn.
And it completely changed theway I looked at change.
And now I always see thosebeautiful colored leaves, which
is one of my favorite thingsabout the season of fall.
And I've I'm learning the olderI get to embrace change.
(35:13):
So we want to thank you forlistening.
Embrace thankfulness thisseason.
You will never regret it.
SPEAKER_01 (35:20):
Just want to say before we finish that um, you
know, I just had this likeepiphany.
I when you were talking aboutfall, uh when we look at there's
always loss in fall.
You know, there's it and itstarts a brand new season.
(35:44):
To me, when everything dies, oryou know, the leaves are all
falling, everything is kind ofwithering after so everything
was so beautiful because fall isone of the most beautiful times.
It is.
And then we start the newseason, we go through the cold,
and then we go into, you know,everything is blooming and
(36:08):
blossoming and growing, and it'sjust beautiful.
And then we go into anothergreat, beautiful summer, which
is another great season, andthen it happens again, you know.
And each time I just I mean, Ithink that God had this planned
all along to do this seasonsthing with us to give us these
(36:33):
visuals of what it is like to gothrough life and go through
these seasons.
And every single time, guesswhat happens?
There is another spring.
Because you grow.
You're right.
SPEAKER_02 (36:46):
There is another one.
You grow and you change and youadapt and you overcome and you
keep going.
Yeah, that's that's what youhave to do.
SPEAKER_01 (36:59):
The tree is taller, the the flowers are taller and
more beautiful than the yearbefore.
And you know, I mean, they justkeep blossoming every single
time.
And I mean, yeah, there's weeds,and you have to get rid of those
too.
SPEAKER_02 (37:17):
But yeah, but isn't that life?
Isn't that real life?
It is.
You have to weed the, you know,the bad, the the part that's
that's destroying your peace.
And there's there's always gonnabe those weeds.
You just gotta keep yanking themout, tossing them, and watering
what helps you feel peace, whatmakes you grow, what helps you
(37:38):
to be the best version ofyourself.
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
I mean, this was so beautiful, Tina.
I just love this episode.
I could talk about gratitudeprobably for days on end.
Well, yeah, you are thegratitude person.
And I love that about you.
But we do have to finish theepisode.
So, as we always say, there ispurpose in the pain and there is
(38:04):
hope in the journey, and Tinawill be back again.
Oh, you got it.
We will see you next time.
SPEAKER_02 (38:14):
Happy Thanksgiving.
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