May 14, 2025 • 47 mins
Ever found yourself facing life's sourest moments with nothing but a flimsy straw and sheer determination? That feeling when survival feels scrappy, resilience feels exhausting, and hope comes in sips rather than gulps?
In this raw, honest conversation, we dive deep into what it really looks like to navigate life's toughest seasons when you feel underequipped, unseen, or simply exhausted. From unexpected grief to family crises, financial hardships to emotional burnout, we explore the messy reality of MacGyvering your way through adversity with whatever tools you have available.
We challenge the notion of toxic positivity that demands artificial cheerfulness during genuine struggle, and instead make space for emotional honesty. You'll discover why feeling without shame while still choosing to move forward creates the foundation for true resilience. We share personal stories about creative coping mechanisms when traditional healing methods aren't accessible – from crying in the shower to blasting music in the car to decluttering a room to declutter the mind.
The conversation shifts to the power of community during our darkest moments. While independence is often celebrated, we reveal why resilience isn't actually a solo sport and how borrowing strength from others sustains us until we rebuild our own reserves. You'll walk away understanding how reframing "why me?" to "what now?" transforms your relationship with difficulty and puts you back in the driver's seat of your own story.
Stay with us until the end where we celebrate the importance of small victories in a culture that only recognizes dramatic triumphs. Remember – even with just a straw, you can still sip your way through the storm, because sometimes surviving is the victory. Your resilience in working with limited resources isn't just survival—it's a testament to the remarkable human spirit.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Real Talk, where we're going to talk about
when life gives you lemons andall you have is a straw.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I am Tina and I am Ann, ever felt, tina or anyone
out there, like life, dumped asour situation in your lap and
then snatched away the sugar,the spoon and the pitcher?
What if all you're left with isa flimsy straw and a whole lot
(00:38):
of lemons?
In this raw and witty episode,we dive deep into those moments
when survival feels scrappy,resilience feels exhausting and
hope comes in sips, not gulps.
I mean, what do you do whenlife hands you lemons but
doesn't give you the tools tomake lemonade Just a straw Maybe
(01:00):
it's even correct and all youhave is yourself?
You know your own grit.
In this candid, humorous andheartfelt episode of Real Talk
with Tina Inyam, we talk aboutwhat it really looks like to
make it through the hard seasonswhen you feel unequipped,
unseen or just plain tired, fromunexpected grief to financial
(01:20):
crisis, burnout to betrayal,family crisis, which is kind of
what I'm going through right now.
This is the episode for anyonewho's had to MacGyver their way
through adversity with duct tape, a prayer and sheer willpower.
But just know this you'll walkaway knowing that, even with
just a straw, you can still sipyour way through that storm,
(01:42):
because sometimes you can stillsip your way through that storm,
because sometimes surviving isthe victory.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh amen to that.
You know I am a MacGyver whenit comes down to it, in so many
different ways and in areas oflife, and I use duct tape too
for a lot of things.
For real, if you have duct tape, you're good.
Yeah, super glue and Neosporinthose are like the things that
can make life just so muchbetter.
It can fix almost anything.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I used to always super glue my teeth in when I
had a heart.
It fell out and I couldn't keepit in and my dentist did it and
it only lasted so long andsuper glue really worked for a
while.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, I'll tell you, when we had our dog Georgie he
was a pit boxer mix and he wouldget these pustules that would
kind of burst and they'd bleedall over the place and they were
about the size of a dime andyou'd have to sometimes super
glue those together to get it tostop.
Yeah, so I'm telling you, superglue, duct tape, macgyvering it
up.
Sometimes that is the victory.
(02:44):
Well, that's a visual, I know.
Sorry, but it's true.
So let's talk about when lifegives you the bare minimum and
expects magic from it.
I feel like probably most of usmoms can attest to that, that
we somehow make magic happen.
So these are the moments whenyou're running on fumes
emotionally, financially,spiritually and the world still
(03:07):
wants your best performance,which is funny because, you know
, I tell my kids sometimes yourbest is only 70%, this day, you
know, or that day, and that isenough.
But yet we probably don't showourselves that grace.
So it's showing up to a fivealarm fire with a squirt gun and
a smile.
Oh, could you even imagine that?
Would you even still feel hope?
(03:29):
Here's the thing Even if you'reworking with the bare minimum,
showing up at all is brave and Ithink that's something to
applaud.
So these are the moments wherethe character is built in the
cracks.
Survival might not look shiny,but it is real and it is valid.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
You know, I've been trying to put that fire out with
a squirt gun for a while now,but I keep on squirting.
You know, that's the thing.
I just keep on squirting.
It's like I run to a bucket.
Well, we'll just call it atoilet.
Right now I'll run to thetoilet, fill up my squirt gun
with dirty toilet water and thenrun over and keep trying to put
(04:08):
out this fire, because that,legit, is what it feels like
right now.
You know.
Do you remember, tina, whenlast summer, when my I think it
was my hose was frozen orsomething outside, and then I
couldn't fill up my pool and wehave a really big pool so I was
running inside the house fillingup this bucket, running outside
(04:30):
pouring it in.
I mean, it was like thefunniest thing, but I was doing
it, you know, and I was showingup, I was making it happen, I
was determined, and I don't knowhow long I would have done that
, but I am a pretty determinedperson.
I might've kept doing it untilit was full.
It might've taken me all summer.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yes, I'm determined like that as well, but I think
that's why we can keep goingright?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think so, but when we're in situations like that,
you know we have two choices.
We show up with the tools thatwe have.
You know they might not be thebest tools, but we show up or
not.
So I mean, what else is ourchoice but allow the problem to
get the best of us and not showup and not use the tools that we
have?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, I think that you just have to keep going and
you have to do something,because movement spawns more
movement and all of thosemovements add up to progress.
I feel like forward progress.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Yeah, you know, when I was a little kid and I've told
this story before, but I didn'thave the tools that my peers
did to learn and I was autistic,I didn't have the executive
functioning and the workingmemory.
You could say I was coming toschool, sitting in class
(05:50):
listening to a teacher askingabout basic math and it was like
rocket science to me.
It just wasn't making any senseand the words were all jumbled
up on the page when I would tryto work, when I would try to
read.
Retaining comprehension justwasn't a gift for me.
So wasn't a gift for me.
So you know, I was so lost inthat classroom but I wanted to
learn.
So bad, I would say to myself,I am going to figure this out.
(06:16):
So I used the tools that I had.
I had a tape recorder, I had apencil and I had a paper and I
made the best of what I had.
You know, everybody in theclassroom was sitting there
answering the questions, keepingup understanding what the
teacher was saying, and I wasstill back on.
You know, what page did she sayto open up to?
Because I mean, that's how lostI really was.
But I used what I could.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
You did great.
I mean, look at you now.
I remember.
I remember struggling withcomprehension too, during my
school years, and even stillsometimes today.
When I'm watching something oryou know, particularly if things
are over my head a little bit,I you know something that I
wouldn't naturally understand orsomething that I'm not
interested in.
(06:57):
I struggle to, you know, focusand digest it.
But you're right, we find waysto understand and make it work
for how we need it to, andthat's's the beauty.
You know, we're all differentand so we all learn and cope
differently.
People would tell me in schooloh, you'll never be a writer, oh
, you'll never be a broadcaster.
Instead of letting that knockme down, I used it to fuel my
(07:20):
fire, to make a way.
And here I am today.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That's good, you know , because people said and I
didn't do well with my voice, Ireally wasn't a talker.
It took me a while to get tothe point where I could really
use my voice and here I am Great.
I mean, and sometimes it's thethings that we struggled with
the most that we are the mostsuccessful with.
It's really funny how that endsup happening where we use them
(07:46):
in our career.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, it's like I know.
In a previous episode we talkedabout how our biggest perceived
weakness turns out to be oursuperpower.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Oh, yes, for sure.
And I never thought that Iwould be doing something like
this, and I've spoken in frontof really big crowds before.
And if you would have asked mewhen I was a kid if I would have
been doing those kinds ofthings, no way, absolutely not,
but yeah, it has become oursuperpower.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Okay, well, let's talk a little bit about the
pressure to be positive.
When toxic positivity boy,those two words don't seem like
they go together, do they?
But when toxic positivity boy,those two words don't seem like
they go together, do they?
But when toxic positivity doesmore harm than good, ever have
anyone tell you just think happythoughts, yeah, like if I was
able to do that all the time andit would just take away
everything, I would do that.
(08:37):
So there is a differencebetween hope and denial.
So toxic positivity shuts downreal feelings and silences pain
in the name of keeping thingslight.
But guess what?
You can feel grateful andgrief-stricken in the same
breath.
You have to give yourselfpermission to feel it all Rage,
sadness, exhaustion, weakness.
(08:58):
It's all part of emotionalhonesty and resilience.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
You know, tina, you know what our family is going
through right now and we arekind of like in a crisis
situation.
And if I had a dollar, forevery single person had asked me
if we have a safety plan andwhat our safety plan is in order
to move forward.
You know, I would be a wealthyperson.
(09:23):
You know, I appreciate whatsome people are trying to do,
but in some ways it reallyhonestly, it just doesn't help
and there's a big differencebetween having hope and
pretending everything's fine andI'm not going to have these
conversations with people whereI'm pretending like everything
is fine or people are justgiving me these like one-ers and
(09:47):
and it's hitting where it needsto, it's not, you know, and
it's down.
It's either healing or hidingand I'm not going to hide in
this situation, so I'm not goingto pretend and be fake.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, I feel like if I could give any advice from
what you've just talked about.
I've said this, I'm sure,before Doing nothing is the
wrong thing, okay.
So doing nothing, when you'retrying to listen to someone or
help someone or be there forsomeone, you know, don't say, oh
, just think positive and don'tnot say anything.
(10:25):
But I think what we need to dois just say I'm so sorry, this
is so hard right now.
Is there any way that I cansupport you?
You know, that is what someoneneeds to feel validated, cared
for, in my opinion, and lovedthat way.
It's not silence.
(10:46):
And, yeah, maybe you don'tunderstand what they're going
through, but you want to bethere for them and hold space
for them, and so I would justencourage, if someone that you
know is in a hard, messy place,you could say I'm so sorry, this
is so hard, how can I supportyou?
And maybe all they just neededto hear was that you're there,
you care, you're listening, butdon't try to make them feel a
(11:06):
way that they can't right now.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, and I mean don't get me wrong with this.
I mean there is power in peoplecoming in and wanting to help
and there's power and gratitudein really tough situations and
there's beauty in choosing joywhen it feels like everything is
crumbling and it's really hard.
But there's also somethingreally dangerous about skipping
(11:35):
over the realities of what'shappening.
I don't think that that's apositive thing to do and we have
to be real, no matter how hardthe situation is.
And that's where I am.
And you know, tina, you've beena perfect example of somebody
who you and I have been textingpretty consistently through this
(11:56):
entire situation.
And you know, you're just,you're angry with me, you're sad
with me, you're doing all thethings and you know that's
really helpful.
You're not trying to give meadvice and I've had even a lot
of people, you know, because Ihave quite a few friends that
I'm talking with and they'resharing similar situations or
(12:18):
things that they know of thatcan help me, and those are great
.
Hey, I will take anything thatwill help me in this situation,
but those little things justdon't help.
You know, I was in a situationone time where it was a really
bad situation and somebody saidto me oh, just give it to the
Lord and everything will be fine.
(12:39):
No, it won't.
No, it won't.
And I don't care how many timesyou want to give something to
God.
It might give you some peace,it might help you feel a little
bit better, but in somecircumstances, the circumstances
(13:04):
are what they are.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
They're real and they're hard and that's just the
way it is.
That's absolutely true.
So I you know you touched ongratitude.
I'm big on gratitude.
I agree that it can maybe onlygo so far.
It can help pull you out andjust keep you focused.
I also believe in grief and Ithink they both have their place
and they have to.
I've said it before and I'llsay it again you have to feel it
(13:25):
to heal it.
So I think of it like a seedgoing into the ground.
It's going into this messy,dark place, cold and dark, but
after some time roots start totake hold in that dark, messy
place and they begin to growbecause of the light that's
turning it into somethingbeautiful.
But without the hard, messyplace, the flowers wouldn't be
(13:46):
able to grow because of thelight that's turning it into
something beautiful, but withoutthe hard, messy place, the
flowers wouldn't be able to growand we wouldn't be able to
admire their beauty, or thetrees for that matter.
And so I kind of go back tothat visual at times when it's
really a struggle for seasons oflife, and it's a good thing to
remember that.
You know we need the rain forthings to grow and you know,
honestly, sometimes I think ofthe rain, as you know, mother
(14:10):
Nature, or God, or just someonecrying with me in that moment
where I might be reallystruggling and I've just kind of
turned it into, you know, maybethe sun is shining just for me,
or maybe the rain is here tohelp the heart or the tears.
And you know, we just celebratedan anniversary.
(14:33):
It was our stillborn son'sseventh birthday.
I can't even believe that itwas his seventh heavenly
birthday and I did pretty muchokay during that day.
It was the week leading up toit that really just got to me,
but I felt my way through it toheal and I did shed a few tears
on the anniversary.
And it was because a song cameon See, music Speaks to my Heart
, and it was the lyrics it'sbeen a long day without you, my
(14:59):
friend, and I'll tell you allabout it when I see you again.
We've come a long way fromwhere we began and I'll tell you
all about it when I see youagain.
We've come a long way fromwhere we began and I'll tell you
all about it when I see youagain.
And it was those lines, just itwas like a smile and a cry like
boy what I would want to tellyou.
Or boy, I hope you would beproud of me for how well, how
(15:22):
far I've come, what all I'velearned, how I've grown from
seven years ago.
And yeah, it was a reallypeaceful time of reflection.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Tina, I am so sorry about that.
I mean those kind of losses.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
you just have no words for them anniversary,
although people who do that'sjust it's really sweet, it's
(16:03):
just something that we carrywith us and so many people have
their crosses and this justhappens to be one of ours.
But I do appreciate it and Iappreciate you reaching out that
day.
It's definitely a tough day andmy body just remembers all the
things, and so we weren't ableto do our butterfly release that
(16:23):
day.
But butterflies, they're justso symbolic of change and hard
and life and new and beautiful.
And we weren't able to do itthat day because we were waiting
for one more to open up, and sowe will be doing that this week
and it's something that we'vedone periodically throughout the
(16:43):
seven years, just to celebrate,you know, commemorate and
remember that there's beauty inthe pain is, and we can feel
(17:03):
grateful and grief-stricken inthe same breath.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And you know, we can be healing and hurting at the
exact same time.
We can love our life and stillstruggle to get out of bed.
I mean, all those things can betrue.
It's not a weakness, it's real.
That's called being a wholehuman.
So in this space we talk, notfake sunshine, and we make room
(17:26):
for the rain.
You know, resilience doesn'tmean plastering on a smile when
your soul is aching.
Nobody said that, and I thinksometimes really people do think
that.
I mean it means always allowyourself to feel without shame.
Feel without shame, that'sreally powerful.
(17:46):
Feel without shame and chooseto keep going anyway.
Feeling everything isn't theopposite of strength, it's the
foundation of it.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Oh, that's so good.
Yes, allow yourself to feelwithout shame.
It's the well worth it.
We have to allow ourselves thespace to feel whatever it is
(18:20):
that we feel.
I agree that there comes a pointwhere let's say you're really
grieving, and for me it was athree-week mark.
It was the three-week mark whenwe first had lost our baby boy
and I remember I had to pickmyself up off of that bed and I
said if I stay here too muchlonger, it's just going to get
(18:42):
harder and harder to get back up.
I have to learn to live withthe pain and the joy and to
allow the moments of pain andstill also allow the moments of
joy and feeling those two verydifferent things at the same
time.
And it's something that mymiddle son is a lot like me and
he's the big feeler of my boys,and it's something that I'm
trying so hard to help him learnso much earlier than I did.
(19:05):
That it's okay, there's nothingwrong with you, it's not weird
that you're feeling happy andsad, but let's talk about it.
And so he's been doing so goodwith expressing himself and
understanding that.
Oh okay, I'm not supposed tofeel happy all the time Because,
honestly, that's unrealistic.
I don't believe in bad days, Ibelieve in bad moments of days,
(19:28):
but it is very unrealistic toenjoy every single moment of
life.
It just is.
So I think that we can justthrow that out the window.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
And I just want to finish talking about this part
of it, for you know, justquickly and when people come to
you and say things and it reallyis OK to come and talk to
people, you know, I think thatthat's really important and
sometimes we don't know what tosay, so we stay away, and I
think that it is reallyimportant to kind of just touch
(19:59):
base and say those really quickthings.
You know, I'm just here andsometimes, you know, when it's
so difficult, but when we're ina crisis and what I said earlier
, sometimes we don't have thetools and sometimes we don't
have the right plan.
And in the moment the planmight just be a treasure map
with just a big red X on thepaper but no directions, you
(20:23):
know.
But we at least are showing upto try to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, I agree.
But how about this?
How about maybe some creativecoping or adapting?
When we've talked about toolsand when you don't have the
right ones, I swear it happensto me all the time in real life
when I need a tool to fixsomething, I never certainly
feel like I have the right thing, even if it's literally fixing
(20:50):
something under the sink orwhatever it may be, and then you
just have to make it work.
But you know, sometimes when wetalk about healing, it doesn't
have to always come in the formof therapy or a week off, or if
you're taking some time at thespa.
Sometimes it's just releasingthose emotions, crying it out in
the shower.
Maybe you're blasting the musicso no one can hear you cry I
(21:13):
know I've done that before orjournaling, and maybe you're
journaling on napkins becausethat's all you have available.
Or just finding peace in a walkat a park, around the block,
wherever you can.
Creative coping is about findingyour tools in unconventional
places and it's not aboutperfection, it's about momentum
and I would say I'm pretty goodat creative coping.
(21:35):
So you see, you don't alwayshave to have a crisis management
manual or a wellness toolkitwhen life falls apart.
Sometimes I think your body'stelling you what it needs and
you just need to listen to it.
A lot of us are figuring it outon the fly and building
emotional scaffolding out ofduct tape prayer caffeine,
occasional scream, cry in thecar or wherever you feel
(21:57):
comfortable.
I've even recently just readabout literally trying to move a
wall, like pushing it, and evenmaybe for your kids, like tell
them you know, the big feelerstry to push that wall away to
just to get that negative energyout, get that frustration out,
and I kind of liked that,because here's the thing.
I think all of that's okay.
(22:18):
It's more than okay.
It's resourcefulness and it'sthe tools that each one of us
individually need.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And wonder why our version of healing looks more
like frozen pizza in RealHousewives shows at 2 am.
Yes, I am a Real Housewives fan.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I know which is so funny to me still.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I know, because nobody would think that about me
.
But yes, I like the Bravo shows.
But here's the truth.
It's not about doing itperfectly.
It's about doing something,however small, however weird,
however makeshift.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And that's why I like that duct tape thing, because
no matter how makeshift it is,just do it and you know,
creative coping isn't glamorous,and I would even say healing is
not glamorous Again.
It's hard and it's messy, it'sgritty, it can be quiet, it
often goes unnoticed, but it's asacred form of survival, it's
(23:15):
you saying.
I may not have much right now,but I'm going to work with what
I've got, because forward isforward, even if it's with a
napkin, a breath, a little musicturned all the way up.
Whatever it is that seems towork for you or what your body
needs For me.
Sometimes I can tell when Ineed quiet and I need some
restorative yoga.
Other times I can tell, nope, Ineed to be out in nature.
(23:37):
Other times my body's tellingme you need to do something.
I don't know.
Decluttering, declutter likeliterally decluttering my house
declutters my brain or shifts it, and so I.
Sometimes that's all I need todo.
So find what works for you.
Just listen to your bodyHonestly.
It will give you those creativeoutlets for coping.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, I've done a lot of cleaning this week and
that's what I do.
That's one of my I need to dosomething different thing, and
so I just start cleaning a room.
And you know, when my mom died,I watched a ton of I Love Lucy
episodes.
Like they were just released,like I had never seen them
(24:22):
before.
And when my kids are in crisisand I need that time and I'm
trying to breathe and figurethings out, I write, and so many
times and I've said this beforein a podcast, but it really is
true by the time I get down tothe end of the paper, to the
bottom of a paper, I have acompletely different perspective
(24:43):
.
So that really does help and Ithink that part of why we do
want to remove ourselves fromthe situation and clean a room
or write or the yoga, or listento music or whatever is, I think
it does give us a differentperspective when we get to the
other side.
The other day, I mean this isfunny when we were kind of not
really, but, like I said, myfamily is in crisis and crisis
(25:10):
comes in many different forms,so you can take that for
whatever it is for your family.
But the person sitting acrossfrom me started to ask a
question and they said is thecrisis in your family affecting?
And I stopped.
I interrupted them and I said,yes, it's affecting my autism.
I just stopped and I don't evenknow why it came out like that,
(25:35):
but I was like, yes, absolutely, it affects my autism and I
will do whatever it takes tocalm and in order for me to be
able to move forward.
You know, I don't drink, I don'tsmoke, I don't have any vices
that you know maybe some peopleuse.
And so I started thinking aboutthat podcast that I did
(25:58):
recently, for Mother's Dayactually, with Gwen Borden, who
was 93 years old, and she talkedabout Jacqueline Kennedy and
she said that she never neededcounseling on any of the deaths
of her kids or anything, becauseshe relied on her faith.
So much, so much, and I foundthat really interesting, that
(26:22):
that's how and she's a counselor, by the way, who brought up
that point.
But I have found myself talkingto myself a lot.
I think that sometimes I findmyself to be my own counselor
because I'm talking so much tomyself and so much to God that
it is in the form of coping andmy own kind of therapy.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I think there's something to that.
You know, my pastor, counselorand friend has said to me before
there are certain instanceswhere she doesn't think that I
need counseling, and that'sreally helped me because it's
like it's pointing me back towhat I already know or what I've
already learned and to notsecond that.
So in a way, I feel like maybesome of the things that we've
(27:05):
learned we have been able tobetter cope with the next time
something similar happens or thenext time we're faced with it,
because we have this goodfoundation.
You know, it's like what thehome is built on, it's this,
this, and so, whether it'spraying to God or whoever you
believe in or worship orwhatever it is, the positivity,
(27:25):
the gratitude, whatever it maybe, I just think that if you
have a really good and firmfoundation, that perhaps things
can be a little bit easier.
And you know, I'm in a season oflife where I haven't had to be
counseled very much lately, Iwould say in the last almost
year.
It's more of just kind oftalking it out and making sure.
(27:50):
So I'm doing okay, okay, I amsupposed to feel this way, okay,
good, good, it's not that Ineed counseled on it, it's just
that I need to, I guess, feelvalidated, and a lot of the
tools that I have learned arereally helping me, and so you
can go back to your tool pouchand a lot of them don't look
like how I thought they wouldlook in the beginning, as we
talked about.
(28:11):
Sometimes, what you think is theright tool isn't actually the
one that you need, and so that'swhy I think it's important,
when we listen to our body andwe listen to just what we need,
you know, if you need rest, takea nap.
I'm not telling you to takefive naps a day, and if you know
what I would conversely say ifyou're feeling like you need
five naps a day, perhaps you doneed to go and see a doctor and
(28:32):
make sure there's not somethinggoing on.
You know what I mean, but Ireally think that there's so
much that maybe we've learnedalong the way that kind of helps
us as we continue on in ourjourney.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, I pull out different tools all the time and
I love what you said, that yourefer back to the things that
you already know, because lotsof times we do just need that
validation or that reminder andit helps us get through.
Whatever it is.
I find that interesting becausewe have so many things already
(29:10):
in our head and we already knowhow.
I think lots of times we reallydo already know how, but it's
that push, it's that power ofcommunity, like we just talked
about earlier, when you can'tmuster your own strength and you
know when your tank is empty,you do borrow from someone else
a friend, a therapist, a podcast, real Talk with Tina and Anne,
(29:35):
a stranger's story online andyou connect with it, and
sometimes you just don't needthe advice, you just need
someone to say, hey, you knowwhat, me too.
Like we said earlier, communitycan be your anchor when your
inner compass is spinning.
And asking for help isn'tweakness, it's wisdom in motion.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I really love that.
I can tell you so many timeswhen I am feeling something or
thinking about something andit's really on my heart and it's
really heavy on my mind.
So many times, either a song orsomething will pop up in my
email like it'll be part of aletter that I subscribe to and
(30:17):
it'll just be that piece.
I talk about my thousand-piecepuzzle and it'll just be that
piece.
I talk about my thousand piecepuzzle and it'll just be one
more piece to my healing puzzlethat just helps keep pushing me
along.
And then it's like, okay, thatthought can now dissipate and I
can move on with life, because Ijust needed that little piece,
you know.
The other thing that I think isso important is we are
(30:37):
conditioned to believe thatstrength looks like independence
and you don't have to walkthrough life and do the hard
things alone.
You shouldn't.
The truth is, resilience is nota solo sport.
Sometimes the bravest thing youcould do is say I'm not okay
and then let someone else holdthe flashlight for a while.
That is a hard thing for me tolearn, but I am learning how to
(31:00):
do it.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I really love that.
That is so good and you knowwe've built a team of people and
through all of this that we'regoing through right now and it
is really helping our family,it's giving ourselves permission
for that to happen and allowingpeople in, which is one of my
hardest things to do.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
That is a hard thing to do, and I would just say, if
you're thinking I don't knowwhat to do for someone that I
love or care about, just dosomething, show up for them
somehow.
Maybe bring them dinner, maybejust send them a card, maybe
send them a venmo like hey,here's a coffee on me or hey,
can we walk tomorrow and justchat.
(31:46):
I want to make sure you're okay, do something.
Well, sometimes I think that wealso are looking for connection
, not necessarily advice, andI'd read something recently that
you know and you mentioned thisearlier in the podcast about
sometimes and I do it too I tryto be relatable so that someone
(32:06):
doesn't feel alone.
But sometimes I think thatreally you just need to listen,
you know, and not that trying toconnect makes it feel like it's
all about you.
I don't like to turn it and say, oh well, I remember when I
felt this way in this situation.
I think sometimes we just needto more listen and not insert
(32:28):
the advice.
So often when we thinksomething, someone means to fix
it, but in the darkest moments,what we need most isn't a
solution, it's solidarity, it'sthat warm presence, it's that
you know, I'm here with you, Isee you Just a me too, someone
to just sit with you in themetaphorical or literal mess and
(32:52):
just love you right through it.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
But it's also it's creating that safe space.
And you know, this one is soimportant to me because when I'm
going through something, I wantto hide.
This is interesting because wewere just at an art show for my
kids and I.
There were a couple peoplethere that I knew that if I saw
them, that I would aconversation would happen, that
(33:18):
a conversation would happen andit would get into it.
And I just didn't want to talkto anybody.
I wanted to hide.
And it reminded me of my highschool days when, for whatever
reason, the teachers were comingdown a hallway and I was like,
oh, there they are, and I darteddown the other way.
That's how I kind of felt.
(33:39):
I was kind of trying tomaneuver through this art show
without anybody seeing me.
That might start a conversation, like, yeah, how are you?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, I'm trying to come up with a canned answer
when I encounter situations likethat, because I want to run and
hide too, I'm that's definitelyme.
And I'm trying to come up with,you know, like if someone, I
appreciate when people ask aboutmy mom, but there are some days
where I just I can't do it andI need to.
(34:12):
In the group that I'm in, youknow, I've tried to come up with
certain things to say like well, I, you know, I'm okay, all
things considered, we have.
You know, it's hard but sad,but we're loving mom through it.
Or you know it varies moment bymoment.
Thanks for asking Something tolike acknowledge, but, shut it
down.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
That's a really good one.
I like that one.
I might use that even for mysituation.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, I took that.
Someone else suggested thatsecond one and I just thought
that was good because I thinkyou know so much of life is
about being prepared and in manyways I'm not good at being
prepared, like I don't knowwhat's for dinner tonight or any
night.
But in certain situations Ithink it's good to have
something in your back pocketfor when you know we're allowed
to just not want to have to talkabout something and other
(34:58):
people are too, and you knowI've learned to accept that when
other people say you know what,thanks for asking, but I can't
go there right now and you justmove on, you don't take offense,
you just move on.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Well, not everyone deserves access or needs access
to your brain, that's true.
And finding the safe peoplethat we feel comfortable with in
sharing, you know, that's greatand we can share with safe
people who hold space withoutjudgment, and that's a sacred
place, whether it's a supportgroup or a church, family or a
(35:31):
friend who listens withouttrying to fix us.
You know, I mean, that's reallywhat it's all about for me
Somebody that I can just sitacross and say you know what I
am not doing?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
good, and they just say I'm here when you're feeling
stronger, maybe offer your ownhand to someone who's still in
the thick of it.
We're all taking turns, beingbroken and being the builder, so
(36:06):
the one in the pit and the onewith the rope, and that cycle.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's what keeps hope alive, because we're all
going to be on one end at onepoint or another another, yeah,
best advice I ever got when Iwas in the thick of life in my
20s was go help somebody elsethat was hurting, and you know
that really helped me.
I mean it was a different thingthat I had ever heard before.
(36:31):
It was kind of thinking outsideof the box a little bit for me
at that time in my life becauseI was so consumed with the pain.
But it is something that I haveused throughout my life since
and whenever I'm in a lot ofpain, helping somebody else
really does help heal.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Oh, it absolutely does.
I can attest to that too, andsometimes some great ideas come
out of helping others throughthe pain.
It might end up helping you too.
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Community doesn't have to be big, it just has to
be real, and that's why we callthis Real Talk.
You don't need 100 friends, youjust need one honest
conversation, one person whosays you don't have to pretend
with me, one moment where themask comes off and grace steps
in.
You know, you and I have hadthose moments, tina, where you
(37:28):
show up at my door or we havethese real conversations and all
you need is just that onemoment and it's healing where
you can break for a little bitand then you come out stronger
on the other side.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
I remember vividly in highschool thinking I needed to have
a hundred friends.
And gosh, the older I get, themore I realize I have about a
handful of true friends in myinner circle.
That is what I need, that isall that I need, because they
get me and they love me and theydon't judge me you among them
(38:06):
for anything, and we're here forit.
It doesn't matter what it is Idon't have to worry about.
Oh my gosh, if I say or feelthis way, are they going to
still be my friend or are theygoing to go gossip behind my
back?
No, and that is the beauty ofsuch a great village.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
And it's funny because that's just maturity.
That's really all that is.
I mean, when we were kids, yeah, count our friends, see how
popular we are, but right rightThings don't.
And I tell my kids that now youknow when they're devastated
over what somebody says to themor how many friends they do or
don't have.
It's like you know that changesover time.
(38:45):
It doesn't matter as much,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
One of the other things that I think we should
mention is reframing reality, sochanging the question from why
me to what now.
And I've really gotten good onthis, but it's taken a lot of
work.
So when you say why me, it kindof keeps you stuck in that pain
.
But what now shifts us intopower.
So the reframe does not erasewhat you've been going through,
(39:13):
but it honors it by asking howyou'll respond.
So I don.
I don't usually say why meanymore.
I try to say what am I supposedto learn from this?
And I don't always learn rightaway, but deep down I think
there's something to be learnedfrom all of the pain and the
hurt.
And I just haven't learned itall yet from my circumstances,
(39:36):
and you might not have either,but life doesn't always give us
closure.
But it does give us a choice,and in the moment we ask what
now?
We can step back intoauthorship of our own story,
kind of take the reins again.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
I really like that Because when you do go from why
to how, what now?
I mean it's a control You'retaking back the control and the
power and you're trying tofigure it out instead of just
sitting in the why and thispodcast.
I did too recently with a guest, to Gwen Borden Again, I'm
(40:14):
mentioning her because she was93 and she's so wise she
actually put me in my place.
She didn't know it, she didn'tknow it, but when she said, well
, actually it's pretty childishto ask why and I just thought,
yeah, she said yeah, you shouldjust instantly move to now what?
(40:38):
What am I going to do?
And like when her husbandpassed away from brain cancer,
who?
He was a completely healthy49-year-old man.
She even said to herself okay,there is no why.
Here, I'm just going to ask howto help my husband have the
(40:59):
best death that he can.
And I was like, wow, that wasso powerful to me and I also had
recently Rebecca Galli is goingto.
If anybody wants to hear any ofthese podcasts, I recommend that
you go to them, but she too, itwas the same thing.
She had so much happen in herlife, way more than I have had
(41:22):
happen in my life, whichactually puts things into
perspective.
When you have those things, youmeet people that have had so
much more happen to them andthey're still just they're not
going to those whys.
And she said to me again youknow, it's about control and
action and that's absolutely whyshe does not go to the whys.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Yeah, that's really important to remember.
I love a good perspective shiftand I think, speaking of
perspective, little wins matter.
So forward progress is stillprogress, no matter how small
the steps are.
Getting out of bed some days,that's the big win for me.
Or even taking a shower, makingthat phone call Say no when
(42:07):
it's hard, those are big wins.
I think sometimes we're taughtto just celebrate the big stuff,
but healing happens sometimesin those micro moments.
I would say more often than not, happens sometimes in those
micro moments.
I would say more often than not, and one step at a time.
One step at a time.
Progress isn't always pretty orfast, but it does add up and
(42:29):
every time you show up, evenimperfectly, you're proving that
you're not done yet.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Little wins do matter .
I mean we never start with thebig wins.
I mean that's not how.
I mean first we roll over, thenwe crawl, we walk.
I mean we don't come out andjust start walking.
I mean nothing in life is anydifferent, your entire life.
That's the way it goes, and wehave to learn to celebrate the
(42:53):
small wins along the way,because when we turn around and
we look back, we see where wecame from.
We turn around and we look back, we see where we came from and
it's an amazing view.
Well, the next one even a strawcan make lemonade taste just a
little bit better.
It might not be fancy, youmight not have the sugar or the
(43:16):
ice or a pretty cup, but whenyou figure out how to get into
that lemon, when you can getinto the good stuff, you find
one small joy, one sweet momentof a laughter or a connection.
It can shift everything.
Maybe life didn't give you thewhole recipe, but you found a
way to sip through it anyway,and that, I mean that's
(43:37):
something to celebrate.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I agree.
I had a friend before tell methat one of my greatest traits
was that she loved how I wasable to make lemonade from
lemons so much of the time, andthat's something that stays with
me.
I'm no longer friends with thisperson.
There was no big bad fallingout or anything like that.
Just, you know, time anddistance create space.
(44:01):
But I really cherish her sayingthat and I've held on to it
because, I agree, I think thatI'm pretty good at that.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Yeah, I have to agree that you are, and I think maybe
that's why you and I get alongso well, because we both have
this kind of spirit and you knowin order for us when we are in.
You and I both have gonethrough a lot.
That's why we do the real talkhere.
We have been through it betweenthe two of us.
I just recently told my dentistthis because she was very
(44:35):
interested and she wanted to.
She, she wants to listen.
But I was like between Tina andmyself we have it covered.
Yeah, we've been through a lotof life already you know we
really have, and but the part ofit that is the most important
part is that we don't stay down.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
No.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
No matter what, we get back up and then we tell
about it and we grow from it andwe help others along the way,
and I think it isn't justthrough this podcast.
I mean, this legit is how welive.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Right, yeah, it is, and I think that I think we can
be proof that, even when thelemons keep coming, grab a straw
.
Then Grab a straw, yourhalf-broken spirit, and just sip
your way through it.
If today reminded you thatsurviving is still a superpower,
or that being resourceful inyour mess is more heroic than
anyone gives you credit for,then you are our kind of people.
(45:35):
You don't need the whole recipeto move forward.
Sometimes all it takes is onesmall step, one deep breath,
that half bendy broken straw andthe refusal to give up.
So thank you for showing uptoday, not just for us, but for
yourself too.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Be sure to follow us on your favorite platforms,
whether it be Spotify, Apple,iHeartRadio or wherever it is
that you listen to Real Talkwith Tina and Anne, because you
can get us anywhere.
You can also catch us on theradio and TV.
Look for Available Markets onour webpage.
Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
And, hey, share this with afriend who's in the thick of it
(46:15):
or needs a little pick-me-up,and remind them that they are
not alone in this lemonade standstruggle.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Oh, I love that Lemonade stand struggle.
My middle son's talking aboutone of his buddies and him this
summer wanting to do a lemonadestand, and they want to do it at
our house because our house ismore visible than his friend's
house.
They think they'll get moretraffic, and so I'm going to
remember this episode.
If they do their lemonade standand whether it goes well or not
(46:45):
, you know we can have adiscussion.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep sipping through it and
remember you are tougher thanyour toughest moments.
Stay real and stay resilient.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
And, as usual, there is purpose in the pain and there
is hope in the journey, and wewill see you next time.
Welcome to Real Talk, where we're going to talk about
when life gives you lemons andall you have is a straw.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I am Tina and I am Ann, ever felt, tina or anyone
out there, like life, dumped asour situation in your lap and
then snatched away the sugar,the spoon and the pitcher?
What if all you're left with isa flimsy straw and a whole lot
(00:38):
of lemons?
In this raw and witty episode,we dive deep into those moments
when survival feels scrappy,resilience feels exhausting and
hope comes in sips, not gulps.
I mean, what do you do whenlife hands you lemons but
doesn't give you the tools tomake lemonade Just a straw Maybe
(01:00):
it's even correct and all youhave is yourself?
You know your own grit.
In this candid, humorous andheartfelt episode of Real Talk
with Tina Inyam, we talk aboutwhat it really looks like to
make it through the hard seasonswhen you feel unequipped,
unseen or just plain tired, fromunexpected grief to financial
(01:20):
crisis, burnout to betrayal,family crisis, which is kind of
what I'm going through right now.
This is the episode for anyonewho's had to MacGyver their way
through adversity with duct tape, a prayer and sheer willpower.
But just know this you'll walkaway knowing that, even with
just a straw, you can still sipyour way through that storm,
(01:42):
because sometimes you can stillsip your way through that storm,
because sometimes surviving isthe victory.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh amen to that.
You know I am a MacGyver whenit comes down to it, in so many
different ways and in areas oflife, and I use duct tape too
for a lot of things.
For real, if you have duct tape, you're good.
Yeah, super glue and Neosporinthose are like the things that
can make life just so muchbetter.
It can fix almost anything.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I used to always super glue my teeth in when I
had a heart.
It fell out and I couldn't keepit in and my dentist did it and
it only lasted so long andsuper glue really worked for a
while.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, I'll tell you, when we had our dog Georgie he
was a pit boxer mix and he wouldget these pustules that would
kind of burst and they'd bleedall over the place and they were
about the size of a dime andyou'd have to sometimes super
glue those together to get it tostop.
Yeah, so I'm telling you, superglue, duct tape, macgyvering it
up.
Sometimes that is the victory.
(02:44):
Well, that's a visual, I know.
Sorry, but it's true.
So let's talk about when lifegives you the bare minimum and
expects magic from it.
I feel like probably most of usmoms can attest to that, that
we somehow make magic happen.
So these are the moments whenyou're running on fumes
emotionally, financially,spiritually and the world still
(03:07):
wants your best performance,which is funny because, you know
, I tell my kids sometimes yourbest is only 70%, this day, you
know, or that day, and that isenough.
But yet we probably don't showourselves that grace.
So it's showing up to a fivealarm fire with a squirt gun and
a smile.
Oh, could you even imagine that?
Would you even still feel hope?
(03:29):
Here's the thing Even if you'reworking with the bare minimum,
showing up at all is brave and Ithink that's something to
applaud.
So these are the moments wherethe character is built in the
cracks.
Survival might not look shiny,but it is real and it is valid.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
You know, I've been trying to put that fire out with
a squirt gun for a while now,but I keep on squirting.
You know, that's the thing.
I just keep on squirting.
It's like I run to a bucket.
Well, we'll just call it atoilet.
Right now I'll run to thetoilet, fill up my squirt gun
with dirty toilet water and thenrun over and keep trying to put
(04:08):
out this fire, because that,legit, is what it feels like
right now.
You know.
Do you remember, tina, whenlast summer, when my I think it
was my hose was frozen orsomething outside, and then I
couldn't fill up my pool and wehave a really big pool so I was
running inside the house fillingup this bucket, running outside
(04:30):
pouring it in.
I mean, it was like thefunniest thing, but I was doing
it, you know, and I was showingup, I was making it happen, I
was determined, and I don't knowhow long I would have done that
, but I am a pretty determinedperson.
I might've kept doing it untilit was full.
It might've taken me all summer.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yes, I'm determined like that as well, but I think
that's why we can keep goingright?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think so, but when we're in situations like that,
you know we have two choices.
We show up with the tools thatwe have.
You know they might not be thebest tools, but we show up or
not.
So I mean, what else is ourchoice but allow the problem to
get the best of us and not showup and not use the tools that we
have?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, I think that you just have to keep going and
you have to do something,because movement spawns more
movement and all of thosemovements add up to progress.
I feel like forward progress.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Yeah, you know, when I was a little kid and I've told
this story before, but I didn'thave the tools that my peers
did to learn and I was autistic,I didn't have the executive
functioning and the workingmemory.
You could say I was coming toschool, sitting in class
(05:50):
listening to a teacher askingabout basic math and it was like
rocket science to me.
It just wasn't making any senseand the words were all jumbled
up on the page when I would tryto work, when I would try to
read.
Retaining comprehension justwasn't a gift for me.
So wasn't a gift for me.
So you know, I was so lost inthat classroom but I wanted to
learn.
So bad, I would say to myself,I am going to figure this out.
(06:16):
So I used the tools that I had.
I had a tape recorder, I had apencil and I had a paper and I
made the best of what I had.
You know, everybody in theclassroom was sitting there
answering the questions, keepingup understanding what the
teacher was saying, and I wasstill back on.
You know, what page did she sayto open up to?
Because I mean, that's how lostI really was.
But I used what I could.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
You did great.
I mean, look at you now.
I remember.
I remember struggling withcomprehension too, during my
school years, and even stillsometimes today.
When I'm watching something oryou know, particularly if things
are over my head a little bit,I you know something that I
wouldn't naturally understand orsomething that I'm not
interested in.
(06:57):
I struggle to, you know, focusand digest it.
But you're right, we find waysto understand and make it work
for how we need it to, andthat's's the beauty.
You know, we're all differentand so we all learn and cope
differently.
People would tell me in schooloh, you'll never be a writer, oh
, you'll never be a broadcaster.
Instead of letting that knockme down, I used it to fuel my
(07:20):
fire, to make a way.
And here I am today.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That's good, you know , because people said and I
didn't do well with my voice, Ireally wasn't a talker.
It took me a while to get tothe point where I could really
use my voice and here I am Great.
I mean, and sometimes it's thethings that we struggled with
the most that we are the mostsuccessful with.
It's really funny how that endsup happening where we use them
(07:46):
in our career.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, it's like I know.
In a previous episode we talkedabout how our biggest perceived
weakness turns out to be oursuperpower.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Oh, yes, for sure.
And I never thought that Iwould be doing something like
this, and I've spoken in frontof really big crowds before.
And if you would have asked mewhen I was a kid if I would have
been doing those kinds ofthings, no way, absolutely not,
but yeah, it has become oursuperpower.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Okay, well, let's talk a little bit about the
pressure to be positive.
When toxic positivity boy,those two words don't seem like
they go together, do they?
But when toxic positivity boy,those two words don't seem like
they go together, do they?
But when toxic positivity doesmore harm than good, ever have
anyone tell you just think happythoughts, yeah, like if I was
able to do that all the time andit would just take away
everything, I would do that.
(08:37):
So there is a differencebetween hope and denial.
So toxic positivity shuts downreal feelings and silences pain
in the name of keeping thingslight.
But guess what?
You can feel grateful andgrief-stricken in the same
breath.
You have to give yourselfpermission to feel it all Rage,
sadness, exhaustion, weakness.
(08:58):
It's all part of emotionalhonesty and resilience.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
You know, tina, you know what our family is going
through right now and we arekind of like in a crisis
situation.
And if I had a dollar, forevery single person had asked me
if we have a safety plan andwhat our safety plan is in order
to move forward.
You know, I would be a wealthyperson.
(09:23):
You know, I appreciate whatsome people are trying to do,
but in some ways it reallyhonestly, it just doesn't help
and there's a big differencebetween having hope and
pretending everything's fine andI'm not going to have these
conversations with people whereI'm pretending like everything
is fine or people are justgiving me these like one-ers and
(09:47):
and it's hitting where it needsto, it's not, you know, and
it's down.
It's either healing or hidingand I'm not going to hide in
this situation, so I'm not goingto pretend and be fake.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, I feel like if I could give any advice from
what you've just talked about.
I've said this, I'm sure,before Doing nothing is the
wrong thing, okay.
So doing nothing, when you'retrying to listen to someone or
help someone or be there forsomeone, you know, don't say, oh
, just think positive and don'tnot say anything.
(10:25):
But I think what we need to dois just say I'm so sorry, this
is so hard right now.
Is there any way that I cansupport you?
You know, that is what someoneneeds to feel validated, cared
for, in my opinion, and lovedthat way.
It's not silence.
(10:46):
And, yeah, maybe you don'tunderstand what they're going
through, but you want to bethere for them and hold space
for them, and so I would justencourage, if someone that you
know is in a hard, messy place,you could say I'm so sorry, this
is so hard, how can I supportyou?
And maybe all they just neededto hear was that you're there,
you care, you're listening, butdon't try to make them feel a
(11:06):
way that they can't right now.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, and I mean don't get me wrong with this.
I mean there is power in peoplecoming in and wanting to help
and there's power and gratitudein really tough situations and
there's beauty in choosing joywhen it feels like everything is
crumbling and it's really hard.
But there's also somethingreally dangerous about skipping
(11:35):
over the realities of what'shappening.
I don't think that that's apositive thing to do and we have
to be real, no matter how hardthe situation is.
And that's where I am.
And you know, tina, you've beena perfect example of somebody
who you and I have been textingpretty consistently through this
(11:56):
entire situation.
And you know, you're just,you're angry with me, you're sad
with me, you're doing all thethings and you know that's
really helpful.
You're not trying to give meadvice and I've had even a lot
of people, you know, because Ihave quite a few friends that
I'm talking with and they'resharing similar situations or
(12:18):
things that they know of thatcan help me, and those are great
.
Hey, I will take anything thatwill help me in this situation,
but those little things justdon't help.
You know, I was in a situationone time where it was a really
bad situation and somebody saidto me oh, just give it to the
Lord and everything will be fine.
(12:39):
No, it won't.
No, it won't.
And I don't care how many timesyou want to give something to
God.
It might give you some peace,it might help you feel a little
bit better, but in somecircumstances, the circumstances
(13:04):
are what they are.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
They're real and they're hard and that's just the
way it is.
That's absolutely true.
So I you know you touched ongratitude.
I'm big on gratitude.
I agree that it can maybe onlygo so far.
It can help pull you out andjust keep you focused.
I also believe in grief and Ithink they both have their place
and they have to.
I've said it before and I'llsay it again you have to feel it
(13:25):
to heal it.
So I think of it like a seedgoing into the ground.
It's going into this messy,dark place, cold and dark, but
after some time roots start totake hold in that dark, messy
place and they begin to growbecause of the light that's
turning it into somethingbeautiful.
But without the hard, messyplace, the flowers wouldn't be
(13:46):
able to grow because of thelight that's turning it into
something beautiful, but withoutthe hard, messy place, the
flowers wouldn't be able to growand we wouldn't be able to
admire their beauty, or thetrees for that matter.
And so I kind of go back tothat visual at times when it's
really a struggle for seasons oflife, and it's a good thing to
remember that.
You know we need the rain forthings to grow and you know,
honestly, sometimes I think ofthe rain, as you know, mother
(14:10):
Nature, or God, or just someonecrying with me in that moment
where I might be reallystruggling and I've just kind of
turned it into, you know, maybethe sun is shining just for me,
or maybe the rain is here tohelp the heart or the tears.
And you know, we just celebratedan anniversary.
(14:33):
It was our stillborn son'sseventh birthday.
I can't even believe that itwas his seventh heavenly
birthday and I did pretty muchokay during that day.
It was the week leading up toit that really just got to me,
but I felt my way through it toheal and I did shed a few tears
on the anniversary.
And it was because a song cameon See, music Speaks to my Heart
, and it was the lyrics it'sbeen a long day without you, my
(14:59):
friend, and I'll tell you allabout it when I see you again.
We've come a long way fromwhere we began and I'll tell you
all about it when I see youagain.
We've come a long way fromwhere we began and I'll tell you
all about it when I see youagain.
And it was those lines, just itwas like a smile and a cry like
boy what I would want to tellyou.
Or boy, I hope you would beproud of me for how well, how
(15:22):
far I've come, what all I'velearned, how I've grown from
seven years ago.
And yeah, it was a reallypeaceful time of reflection.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Tina, I am so sorry about that.
I mean those kind of losses.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
you just have no words for them anniversary,
although people who do that'sjust it's really sweet, it's
(16:03):
just something that we carrywith us and so many people have
their crosses and this justhappens to be one of ours.
But I do appreciate it and Iappreciate you reaching out that
day.
It's definitely a tough day andmy body just remembers all the
things, and so we weren't ableto do our butterfly release that
(16:23):
day.
But butterflies, they're justso symbolic of change and hard
and life and new and beautiful.
And we weren't able to do itthat day because we were waiting
for one more to open up, and sowe will be doing that this week
and it's something that we'vedone periodically throughout the
(16:43):
seven years, just to celebrate,you know, commemorate and
remember that there's beauty inthe pain is, and we can feel
(17:03):
grateful and grief-stricken inthe same breath.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And you know, we can be healing and hurting at the
exact same time.
We can love our life and stillstruggle to get out of bed.
I mean, all those things can betrue.
It's not a weakness, it's real.
That's called being a wholehuman.
So in this space we talk, notfake sunshine, and we make room
(17:26):
for the rain.
You know, resilience doesn'tmean plastering on a smile when
your soul is aching.
Nobody said that, and I thinksometimes really people do think
that.
I mean it means always allowyourself to feel without shame.
Feel without shame, that'sreally powerful.
(17:46):
Feel without shame and chooseto keep going anyway.
Feeling everything isn't theopposite of strength, it's the
foundation of it.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Oh, that's so good.
Yes, allow yourself to feelwithout shame.
It's the well worth it.
We have to allow ourselves thespace to feel whatever it is
(18:20):
that we feel.
I agree that there comes a pointwhere let's say you're really
grieving, and for me it was athree-week mark.
It was the three-week mark whenwe first had lost our baby boy
and I remember I had to pickmyself up off of that bed and I
said if I stay here too muchlonger, it's just going to get
(18:42):
harder and harder to get back up.
I have to learn to live withthe pain and the joy and to
allow the moments of pain andstill also allow the moments of
joy and feeling those two verydifferent things at the same
time.
And it's something that mymiddle son is a lot like me and
he's the big feeler of my boys,and it's something that I'm
trying so hard to help him learnso much earlier than I did.
(19:05):
That it's okay, there's nothingwrong with you, it's not weird
that you're feeling happy andsad, but let's talk about it.
And so he's been doing so goodwith expressing himself and
understanding that.
Oh okay, I'm not supposed tofeel happy all the time Because,
honestly, that's unrealistic.
I don't believe in bad days, Ibelieve in bad moments of days,
(19:28):
but it is very unrealistic toenjoy every single moment of
life.
It just is.
So I think that we can justthrow that out the window.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
And I just want to finish talking about this part
of it, for you know, justquickly and when people come to
you and say things and it reallyis OK to come and talk to
people, you know, I think thatthat's really important and
sometimes we don't know what tosay, so we stay away, and I
think that it is reallyimportant to kind of just touch
(19:59):
base and say those really quickthings.
You know, I'm just here andsometimes, you know, when it's
so difficult, but when we're ina crisis and what I said earlier
, sometimes we don't have thetools and sometimes we don't
have the right plan.
And in the moment the planmight just be a treasure map
with just a big red X on thepaper but no directions, you
(20:23):
know.
But we at least are showing upto try to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, I agree.
But how about this?
How about maybe some creativecoping or adapting?
When we've talked about toolsand when you don't have the
right ones, I swear it happensto me all the time in real life
when I need a tool to fixsomething, I never certainly
feel like I have the right thing, even if it's literally fixing
(20:50):
something under the sink orwhatever it may be, and then you
just have to make it work.
But you know, sometimes when wetalk about healing, it doesn't
have to always come in the formof therapy or a week off, or if
you're taking some time at thespa.
Sometimes it's just releasingthose emotions, crying it out in
the shower.
Maybe you're blasting the musicso no one can hear you cry I
(21:13):
know I've done that before orjournaling, and maybe you're
journaling on napkins becausethat's all you have available.
Or just finding peace in a walkat a park, around the block,
wherever you can.
Creative coping is about findingyour tools in unconventional
places and it's not aboutperfection, it's about momentum
and I would say I'm pretty goodat creative coping.
(21:35):
So you see, you don't alwayshave to have a crisis management
manual or a wellness toolkitwhen life falls apart.
Sometimes I think your body'stelling you what it needs and
you just need to listen to it.
A lot of us are figuring it outon the fly and building
emotional scaffolding out ofduct tape prayer caffeine,
occasional scream, cry in thecar or wherever you feel
(21:57):
comfortable.
I've even recently just readabout literally trying to move a
wall, like pushing it, and evenmaybe for your kids, like tell
them you know, the big feelerstry to push that wall away to
just to get that negative energyout, get that frustration out,
and I kind of liked that,because here's the thing.
I think all of that's okay.
(22:18):
It's more than okay.
It's resourcefulness and it'sthe tools that each one of us
individually need.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And wonder why our version of healing looks more
like frozen pizza in RealHousewives shows at 2 am.
Yes, I am a Real Housewives fan.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I know which is so funny to me still.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I know, because nobody would think that about me
.
But yes, I like the Bravo shows.
But here's the truth.
It's not about doing itperfectly.
It's about doing something,however small, however weird,
however makeshift.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And that's why I like that duct tape thing, because
no matter how makeshift it is,just do it and you know,
creative coping isn't glamorous,and I would even say healing is
not glamorous Again.
It's hard and it's messy, it'sgritty, it can be quiet, it
often goes unnoticed, but it's asacred form of survival, it's
(23:15):
you saying.
I may not have much right now,but I'm going to work with what
I've got, because forward isforward, even if it's with a
napkin, a breath, a little musicturned all the way up.
Whatever it is that seems towork for you or what your body
needs For me.
Sometimes I can tell when Ineed quiet and I need some
restorative yoga.
Other times I can tell, nope, Ineed to be out in nature.
(23:37):
Other times my body's tellingme you need to do something.
I don't know.
Decluttering, declutter likeliterally decluttering my house
declutters my brain or shifts it, and so I.
Sometimes that's all I need todo.
So find what works for you.
Just listen to your bodyHonestly.
It will give you those creativeoutlets for coping.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, I've done a lot of cleaning this week and
that's what I do.
That's one of my I need to dosomething different thing, and
so I just start cleaning a room.
And you know, when my mom died,I watched a ton of I Love Lucy
episodes.
Like they were just released,like I had never seen them
(24:22):
before.
And when my kids are in crisisand I need that time and I'm
trying to breathe and figurethings out, I write, and so many
times and I've said this beforein a podcast, but it really is
true by the time I get down tothe end of the paper, to the
bottom of a paper, I have acompletely different perspective
(24:43):
.
So that really does help and Ithink that part of why we do
want to remove ourselves fromthe situation and clean a room
or write or the yoga, or listento music or whatever is, I think
it does give us a differentperspective when we get to the
other side.
The other day, I mean this isfunny when we were kind of not
really, but, like I said, myfamily is in crisis and crisis
(25:10):
comes in many different forms,so you can take that for
whatever it is for your family.
But the person sitting acrossfrom me started to ask a
question and they said is thecrisis in your family affecting?
And I stopped.
I interrupted them and I said,yes, it's affecting my autism.
I just stopped and I don't evenknow why it came out like that,
(25:35):
but I was like, yes, absolutely, it affects my autism and I
will do whatever it takes tocalm and in order for me to be
able to move forward.
You know, I don't drink, I don'tsmoke, I don't have any vices
that you know maybe some peopleuse.
And so I started thinking aboutthat podcast that I did
(25:58):
recently, for Mother's Dayactually, with Gwen Borden, who
was 93 years old, and she talkedabout Jacqueline Kennedy and
she said that she never neededcounseling on any of the deaths
of her kids or anything, becauseshe relied on her faith.
So much, so much, and I foundthat really interesting, that
(26:22):
that's how and she's a counselor, by the way, who brought up
that point.
But I have found myself talkingto myself a lot.
I think that sometimes I findmyself to be my own counselor
because I'm talking so much tomyself and so much to God that
it is in the form of coping andmy own kind of therapy.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I think there's something to that.
You know, my pastor, counselorand friend has said to me before
there are certain instanceswhere she doesn't think that I
need counseling, and that'sreally helped me because it's
like it's pointing me back towhat I already know or what I've
already learned and to notsecond that.
So in a way, I feel like maybesome of the things that we've
(27:05):
learned we have been able tobetter cope with the next time
something similar happens or thenext time we're faced with it,
because we have this goodfoundation.
You know, it's like what thehome is built on, it's this,
this, and so, whether it'spraying to God or whoever you
believe in or worship orwhatever it is, the positivity,
(27:25):
the gratitude, whatever it maybe, I just think that if you
have a really good and firmfoundation, that perhaps things
can be a little bit easier.
And you know, I'm in a season oflife where I haven't had to be
counseled very much lately, Iwould say in the last almost
year.
It's more of just kind oftalking it out and making sure.
(27:50):
So I'm doing okay, okay, I amsupposed to feel this way, okay,
good, good, it's not that Ineed counseled on it, it's just
that I need to, I guess, feelvalidated, and a lot of the
tools that I have learned arereally helping me, and so you
can go back to your tool pouchand a lot of them don't look
like how I thought they wouldlook in the beginning, as we
talked about.
(28:11):
Sometimes, what you think is theright tool isn't actually the
one that you need, and so that'swhy I think it's important,
when we listen to our body andwe listen to just what we need,
you know, if you need rest, takea nap.
I'm not telling you to takefive naps a day, and if you know
what I would conversely say ifyou're feeling like you need
five naps a day, perhaps you doneed to go and see a doctor and
(28:32):
make sure there's not somethinggoing on.
You know what I mean, but Ireally think that there's so
much that maybe we've learnedalong the way that kind of helps
us as we continue on in ourjourney.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, I pull out different tools all the time and
I love what you said, that yourefer back to the things that
you already know, because lotsof times we do just need that
validation or that reminder andit helps us get through.
Whatever it is.
I find that interesting becausewe have so many things already
(29:10):
in our head and we already knowhow.
I think lots of times we reallydo already know how, but it's
that push, it's that power ofcommunity, like we just talked
about earlier, when you can'tmuster your own strength and you
know when your tank is empty,you do borrow from someone else
a friend, a therapist, a podcast, real Talk with Tina and Anne,
(29:35):
a stranger's story online andyou connect with it, and
sometimes you just don't needthe advice, you just need
someone to say, hey, you knowwhat, me too.
Like we said earlier, communitycan be your anchor when your
inner compass is spinning.
And asking for help isn'tweakness, it's wisdom in motion.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I really love that.
I can tell you so many timeswhen I am feeling something or
thinking about something andit's really on my heart and it's
really heavy on my mind.
So many times, either a song orsomething will pop up in my
email like it'll be part of aletter that I subscribe to and
(30:17):
it'll just be that piece.
I talk about my thousand-piecepuzzle and it'll just be that
piece.
I talk about my thousand piecepuzzle and it'll just be one
more piece to my healing puzzlethat just helps keep pushing me
along.
And then it's like, okay, thatthought can now dissipate and I
can move on with life, because Ijust needed that little piece,
you know.
The other thing that I think isso important is we are
(30:37):
conditioned to believe thatstrength looks like independence
and you don't have to walkthrough life and do the hard
things alone.
You shouldn't.
The truth is, resilience is nota solo sport.
Sometimes the bravest thing youcould do is say I'm not okay
and then let someone else holdthe flashlight for a while.
That is a hard thing for me tolearn, but I am learning how to
(31:00):
do it.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I really love that.
That is so good and you knowwe've built a team of people and
through all of this that we'regoing through right now and it
is really helping our family,it's giving ourselves permission
for that to happen and allowingpeople in, which is one of my
hardest things to do.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
That is a hard thing to do, and I would just say, if
you're thinking I don't knowwhat to do for someone that I
love or care about, just dosomething, show up for them
somehow.
Maybe bring them dinner, maybejust send them a card, maybe
send them a venmo like hey,here's a coffee on me or hey,
can we walk tomorrow and justchat.
(31:46):
I want to make sure you're okay, do something.
Well, sometimes I think that wealso are looking for connection
, not necessarily advice, andI'd read something recently that
you know and you mentioned thisearlier in the podcast about
sometimes and I do it too I tryto be relatable so that someone
(32:06):
doesn't feel alone.
But sometimes I think thatreally you just need to listen,
you know, and not that trying toconnect makes it feel like it's
all about you.
I don't like to turn it and say, oh well, I remember when I
felt this way in this situation.
I think sometimes we just needto more listen and not insert
(32:28):
the advice.
So often when we thinksomething, someone means to fix
it, but in the darkest moments,what we need most isn't a
solution, it's solidarity, it'sthat warm presence, it's that
you know, I'm here with you, Isee you Just a me too, someone
to just sit with you in themetaphorical or literal mess and
(32:52):
just love you right through it.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
But it's also it's creating that safe space.
And you know, this one is soimportant to me because when I'm
going through something, I wantto hide.
This is interesting because wewere just at an art show for my
kids and I.
There were a couple peoplethere that I knew that if I saw
them, that I would aconversation would happen, that
(33:18):
a conversation would happen andit would get into it.
And I just didn't want to talkto anybody.
I wanted to hide.
And it reminded me of my highschool days when, for whatever
reason, the teachers were comingdown a hallway and I was like,
oh, there they are, and I darteddown the other way.
That's how I kind of felt.
(33:39):
I was kind of trying tomaneuver through this art show
without anybody seeing me.
That might start a conversation, like, yeah, how are you?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, I'm trying to come up with a canned answer
when I encounter situations likethat, because I want to run and
hide too, I'm that's definitelyme.
And I'm trying to come up with,you know, like if someone, I
appreciate when people ask aboutmy mom, but there are some days
where I just I can't do it andI need to.
(34:12):
In the group that I'm in, youknow, I've tried to come up with
certain things to say like well, I, you know, I'm okay, all
things considered, we have.
You know, it's hard but sad,but we're loving mom through it.
Or you know it varies moment bymoment.
Thanks for asking Something tolike acknowledge, but, shut it
down.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
That's a really good one.
I like that one.
I might use that even for mysituation.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, I took that.
Someone else suggested thatsecond one and I just thought
that was good because I thinkyou know so much of life is
about being prepared and in manyways I'm not good at being
prepared, like I don't knowwhat's for dinner tonight or any
night.
But in certain situations Ithink it's good to have
something in your back pocketfor when you know we're allowed
to just not want to have to talkabout something and other
(34:58):
people are too, and you knowI've learned to accept that when
other people say you know what,thanks for asking, but I can't
go there right now and you justmove on, you don't take offense,
you just move on.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Well, not everyone deserves access or needs access
to your brain, that's true.
And finding the safe peoplethat we feel comfortable with in
sharing, you know, that's greatand we can share with safe
people who hold space withoutjudgment, and that's a sacred
place, whether it's a supportgroup or a church, family or a
(35:31):
friend who listens withouttrying to fix us.
You know, I mean, that's reallywhat it's all about for me
Somebody that I can just sitacross and say you know what I
am not doing?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
good, and they just say I'm here when you're feeling
stronger, maybe offer your ownhand to someone who's still in
the thick of it.
We're all taking turns, beingbroken and being the builder, so
(36:06):
the one in the pit and the onewith the rope, and that cycle.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's what keeps hope alive, because we're all
going to be on one end at onepoint or another another, yeah,
best advice I ever got when Iwas in the thick of life in my
20s was go help somebody elsethat was hurting, and you know
that really helped me.
I mean it was a different thingthat I had ever heard before.
(36:31):
It was kind of thinking outsideof the box a little bit for me
at that time in my life becauseI was so consumed with the pain.
But it is something that I haveused throughout my life since
and whenever I'm in a lot ofpain, helping somebody else
really does help heal.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Oh, it absolutely does.
I can attest to that too, andsometimes some great ideas come
out of helping others throughthe pain.
It might end up helping you too.
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Community doesn't have to be big, it just has to
be real, and that's why we callthis Real Talk.
You don't need 100 friends, youjust need one honest
conversation, one person whosays you don't have to pretend
with me, one moment where themask comes off and grace steps
in.
You know, you and I have hadthose moments, tina, where you
(37:28):
show up at my door or we havethese real conversations and all
you need is just that onemoment and it's healing where
you can break for a little bitand then you come out stronger
on the other side.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
I remember vividly in highschool thinking I needed to have
a hundred friends.
And gosh, the older I get, themore I realize I have about a
handful of true friends in myinner circle.
That is what I need, that isall that I need, because they
get me and they love me and theydon't judge me you among them
(38:06):
for anything, and we're here forit.
It doesn't matter what it is Idon't have to worry about.
Oh my gosh, if I say or feelthis way, are they going to
still be my friend or are theygoing to go gossip behind my
back?
No, and that is the beauty ofsuch a great village.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
And it's funny because that's just maturity.
That's really all that is.
I mean, when we were kids, yeah, count our friends, see how
popular we are, but right rightThings don't.
And I tell my kids that now youknow when they're devastated
over what somebody says to themor how many friends they do or
don't have.
It's like you know that changesover time.
(38:45):
It doesn't matter as much,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
One of the other things that I think we should
mention is reframing reality, sochanging the question from why
me to what now.
And I've really gotten good onthis, but it's taken a lot of
work.
So when you say why me, it kindof keeps you stuck in that pain
.
But what now shifts us intopower.
So the reframe does not erasewhat you've been going through,
(39:13):
but it honors it by asking howyou'll respond.
So I don.
I don't usually say why meanymore.
I try to say what am I supposedto learn from this?
And I don't always learn rightaway, but deep down I think
there's something to be learnedfrom all of the pain and the
hurt.
And I just haven't learned itall yet from my circumstances,
(39:36):
and you might not have either,but life doesn't always give us
closure.
But it does give us a choice,and in the moment we ask what
now?
We can step back intoauthorship of our own story,
kind of take the reins again.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
I really like that Because when you do go from why
to how, what now?
I mean it's a control You'retaking back the control and the
power and you're trying tofigure it out instead of just
sitting in the why and thispodcast.
I did too recently with a guest, to Gwen Borden Again, I'm
(40:14):
mentioning her because she was93 and she's so wise she
actually put me in my place.
She didn't know it, she didn'tknow it, but when she said, well
, actually it's pretty childishto ask why and I just thought,
yeah, she said yeah, you shouldjust instantly move to now what?
(40:38):
What am I going to do?
And like when her husbandpassed away from brain cancer,
who?
He was a completely healthy49-year-old man.
She even said to herself okay,there is no why.
Here, I'm just going to ask howto help my husband have the
(40:59):
best death that he can.
And I was like, wow, that wasso powerful to me and I also had
recently Rebecca Galli is goingto.
If anybody wants to hear any ofthese podcasts, I recommend that
you go to them, but she too, itwas the same thing.
She had so much happen in herlife, way more than I have had
(41:22):
happen in my life, whichactually puts things into
perspective.
When you have those things, youmeet people that have had so
much more happen to them andthey're still just they're not
going to those whys.
And she said to me again youknow, it's about control and
action and that's absolutely whyshe does not go to the whys.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Yeah, that's really important to remember.
I love a good perspective shiftand I think, speaking of
perspective, little wins matter.
So forward progress is stillprogress, no matter how small
the steps are.
Getting out of bed some days,that's the big win for me.
Or even taking a shower, makingthat phone call Say no when
(42:07):
it's hard, those are big wins.
I think sometimes we're taughtto just celebrate the big stuff,
but healing happens sometimesin those micro moments.
I would say more often than not, happens sometimes in those
micro moments.
I would say more often than not, and one step at a time.
One step at a time.
Progress isn't always pretty orfast, but it does add up and
(42:29):
every time you show up, evenimperfectly, you're proving that
you're not done yet.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Little wins do matter .
I mean we never start with thebig wins.
I mean that's not how.
I mean first we roll over, thenwe crawl, we walk.
I mean we don't come out andjust start walking.
I mean nothing in life is anydifferent, your entire life.
That's the way it goes, and wehave to learn to celebrate the
(42:53):
small wins along the way,because when we turn around and
we look back, we see where wecame from.
We turn around and we look back, we see where we came from and
it's an amazing view.
Well, the next one even a strawcan make lemonade taste just a
little bit better.
It might not be fancy, youmight not have the sugar or the
(43:16):
ice or a pretty cup, but whenyou figure out how to get into
that lemon, when you can getinto the good stuff, you find
one small joy, one sweet momentof a laughter or a connection.
It can shift everything.
Maybe life didn't give you thewhole recipe, but you found a
way to sip through it anyway,and that, I mean that's
(43:37):
something to celebrate.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I agree.
I had a friend before tell methat one of my greatest traits
was that she loved how I wasable to make lemonade from
lemons so much of the time, andthat's something that stays with
me.
I'm no longer friends with thisperson.
There was no big bad fallingout or anything like that.
Just, you know, time anddistance create space.
(44:01):
But I really cherish her sayingthat and I've held on to it
because, I agree, I think thatI'm pretty good at that.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Yeah, I have to agree that you are, and I think maybe
that's why you and I get alongso well, because we both have
this kind of spirit and you knowin order for us when we are in.
You and I both have gonethrough a lot.
That's why we do the real talkhere.
We have been through it betweenthe two of us.
I just recently told my dentistthis because she was very
(44:35):
interested and she wanted to.
She, she wants to listen.
But I was like between Tina andmyself we have it covered.
Yeah, we've been through a lotof life already you know we
really have, and but the part ofit that is the most important
part is that we don't stay down.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
No.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
No matter what, we get back up and then we tell
about it and we grow from it andwe help others along the way,
and I think it isn't justthrough this podcast.
I mean, this legit is how welive.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Right, yeah, it is, and I think that I think we can
be proof that, even when thelemons keep coming, grab a straw
.
Then Grab a straw, yourhalf-broken spirit, and just sip
your way through it.
If today reminded you thatsurviving is still a superpower,
or that being resourceful inyour mess is more heroic than
anyone gives you credit for,then you are our kind of people.
(45:35):
You don't need the whole recipeto move forward.
Sometimes all it takes is onesmall step, one deep breath,
that half bendy broken straw andthe refusal to give up.
So thank you for showing uptoday, not just for us, but for
yourself too.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Be sure to follow us on your favorite platforms,
whether it be Spotify, Apple,iHeartRadio or wherever it is
that you listen to Real Talkwith Tina and Anne, because you
can get us anywhere.
You can also catch us on theradio and TV.
Look for Available Markets onour webpage.
Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
And, hey, share this with afriend who's in the thick of it
(46:15):
or needs a little pick-me-up,and remind them that they are
not alone in this lemonade standstruggle.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Oh, I love that Lemonade stand struggle.
My middle son's talking aboutone of his buddies and him this
summer wanting to do a lemonadestand, and they want to do it at
our house because our house ismore visible than his friend's
house.
They think they'll get moretraffic, and so I'm going to
remember this episode.
If they do their lemonade standand whether it goes well or not
(46:45):
, you know we can have adiscussion.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep sipping through it and
remember you are tougher thanyour toughest moments.
Stay real and stay resilient.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
And, as usual, there is purpose in the pain and there
is hope in the journey, and wewill see you next time.
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