February 3, 2025 • 59 mins
Mental health is vital, especially amid the chaos of current events. This episode weaves personal stories with insights on finding balance, kindness, and the importance of prioritizing peace at home over the noise outside.
• The impact of the news on mental health
• Humor and light-heartedness in navigating tough narratives
• Personal anecdotes showcasing the importance of family and memories
• The essential feeling of safety at home amidst chaos
• Emphasizing kindness and empathy over division
• Tips for finding balance in everyday life
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Tina.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And I am Anne.
I was just telling you, tina,how much I love when it's just
us.
I mean, it just warms my heart.
I am so glad that we are tapinghere today.
You know we were going to startthis podcast differently, but
there is so much going on in theworld right now.
You know, I thought a littlehumor would help, but I just
(00:32):
don't know if it would.
I have spent way too much timewith my eyes on the news right
now and I've reached the pointof what's more important my
mental health or being informed?
And I think right now it's mymental health.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, I think that's the route we should all take.
I think it's so worthprotecting our peace, and I'm
going to talk about that a lotduring this podcast, and I'm
going to add a little humor,because I feel like I've been
waiting forever to say this.
It's January 75th, or it's likethe 75th day of the month.
Oh my gosh, it feels like thismonth is never ending.
(01:13):
Ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
It really does feel that way.
I can't believe that just amonth ago, in a few days, was
Christmas.
I mean, it seriously does feellike this month has gone on
forever.
I mean it's the very last endof the month.
By the time people hear this,it's going to be February, but
you know, don't worry, there'llbe a lot more happen by the time
(01:38):
, right, right.
(02:04):
I think that so many people,whenever they are able to catch
the podcast and be like oh yeah,I remember January was a one,
but there's just so much goingon and it's just so scary out
there, I feel safer at home.
You know, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm this person where I'm aFOMO person.
If it's going on, I want to bethere, but I don't feel that way
(02:26):
right now.
I'm good, I'm like nope, havefun.
That's how I feel.
I made myself go to an arcadeand out to eat and enjoy this
past weekend and I still feltthat fear and it felt like a
PTSD thing was going on with me.
I don't feel myself, I feel off.
I mean, this is an example of2025 and how it started for me.
(02:50):
We started it with thenorovirus and my kids.
It was coming out both ends.
You know, it was really my oneson.
I mean, he sleeps with me a lotstill and he was puking all
over my bed and that's how 2025started for me.
We had family coming over thenext day.
(03:11):
I had to cancel and tell them,sorry, we can't do it.
We got some sickness going onover here and I had the best pie
made ever.
I'm not kidding you, it was thebest and it was so good.
I mean, we ended up eating itand the best and it was so good.
I mean we ended up eating it.
It was this peanut butter creampie.
That was just so delicious andyou know I was going to give it
(03:35):
to them because I just love themso much.
I want them to be so impressedover this pie.
And then here you know it, justI couldn't serve it to them.
So we ate it.
It was great.
I gave it to some friends.
They loved it One of the recipe, that's how good it was.
And then, two weeks later, we'regoing to do this again.
So they come, I made the samepie.
(03:58):
I'm all about it.
This is the best pie ever.
You're going to absolutely lovethis thing.
And it ended up being the worstpie ever.
I didn't taste it first becauseI was so confident that this
was going to be a great pie andI said this is the best pie here
.
Go ahead and have it.
And I think they were bothgoing to puke.
(04:20):
And then my cousin says well,at least we didn't get sick.
You know, it's like, oh my gosh, I just felt so embarrassed
because the consistency of theentire pie was off because one
of the ingredients got frozen,which I didn't know that would
happen to the pie because it wasfrozen.
But that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh, because.
I've done that too, withcertain meals I'm like, oh, it's
a slam dunk, not even going totry it.
And then it's like, oh my gosh,I forgot to add one of the main
ingredients.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It was so bad.
The funny part of it is wasthat I really hyped this thing
up.
I mean I served it andliterally said to them this is
the best pie you will ever eat.
And they both went them this isthe best pie you will ever eat.
(05:11):
And they both went oh, oh mygosh.
And they didn't say anythingand they just said no, you know,
we're kind of full.
And I was just like, okay, youknow, they were just nice about
it.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
And then when I went and took a bite, yeah, you were
like I didn't know you couldfreeze cream cheese.
Is that true?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Well, apparently not.
Don't do it.
That's just one example.
I mean, it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Well, you are the one who told me because I had a
crazy start to the year as well,that it started with WTF
Wednesday, thursday, friday, ofcourse, is what we mean?
That's what we mean, yeah.
Or what in the world?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I know the censored version of it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
But oh gosh, let me tell you I can totally relate to
thinking you've got it in thebag and then you don't.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know, you know and I also had an experience,
tina, that which you know me.
I'm like this manifester.
I believe in something and it'sgoing to happen.
I'm that confident and we hadhad a really rough time.
My cat had passed away.
We said, you know, I'm justgoing to get in the car, we're
going to drive to New York.
(06:25):
And I said, well, let's just gosee Hoda for the last time and
go see the show.
And it was kind of fun.
We went to the top of theEmpire State Building, we did
all these really amazing things.
But when we did go to the TodayShow, my kids have made this
kind of connection with her andit's kind of fun.
She acts like she recognizesthem.
(06:46):
I don't know if she does or not, but she acts like it, you know
, out of all the millions ofpeople that she sees.
And she says, yeah, I rememberyou, and they were all hugging
and everything.
And we've talked a few times.
And she said you know, I dowant to connect with her.
And she turns to her producerwho ends up sitting.
He's standing right there andshe says I want to connect with
(07:09):
her and he says, oh, okay, so hegives me his email and we went
back and forth a few times andyou know it was really crazy.
We had Thanksgiving andChristmas and they had the tree
lighting that they had to getready for, and they had her
party, her big celebration forleaving in January.
So all this was going on and Ididn't really hear back.
(07:32):
You know, we went back andforth a couple of times and he
said he was going to do it, butI just wasn't sure because I'm
not great at, you know, lettinggo of the baton and trusting
that person that's going to dothe last leg of the race, right,
right.
So you know I checked on itevery now and then, but he would
write back yeah, I will,whatever.
And he finally wrote me andsaid I'm giving it to her.
(07:53):
So I was just like, yay.
And then right after that, I gotthis phone call two phone calls
that were private numbers,which I never, ever get a phone
call from a private number thatI was teaching my son during
(08:14):
homeschooling and I always havemy phone on, do not disturb and
I'm like, looking at this phone,convinced that it was her.
I mean, I'm sure it wasn't her,but you know I'm still the
story isn't over, but that's howit feels to me Like I just keep
missing things, like I'm justoff, everything just feels off,
like my normal manifestationself would have made it happen
and I would have answered thephone and we would have had a
(08:34):
conversation, but I'm not on.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
And you know what that was her.
But because you're just not inthe right mental state right now
, which is obviously temporary,that it wasn't the time, but it
doesn't mean that you won'tconnect again.
I think you said somethingimportant that your mental
health comes first.
You know you said that just afew minutes ago.
For whatever reason, you knowyou are focusing on the right
(08:59):
thing.
You were focusing on givingyour son the schooling that he
needs that day.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So I mean I don't think everything works.
Yeah, yeah, well, maybe, maybewhen it is the right time and
she does have a saying you know,right on time, so maybe there
is the right time for that.
Absolutely, you've really had arough time.
I mean your year.
(09:25):
You have to tell the story ofhow your year started.
Absolutely, you've really had arough time.
I mean you have to tell thisstory of how your year started.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Okay, well, let me just backtrack it a moment.
Last New Year's I'm beginningto not like New Year's Last New
Year's I was in the hospitalwith pneumonia, first time I
ever had pneumonia.
I was like awesome, welcome tobeing 40.
And I was hospitalized withpneumonia First time I ever had
pneumonia.
I was like awesome, welcome tobeing 40.
And I was hospitalized withpneumonia and it was horrible.
(09:49):
I really thought I was dying.
So I really tried not to thinkabout anything this New Year's
and we decided that we justwanted to get away, our family
just wanted to get away, and wewere going to do this fun road
trip.
I had been collecting we mayhave even talked about it on the
show before, but I had beencollecting items to be able to
sleep in our van, to go camping,you know, just like inflatable
(10:13):
air mattresses and thisorganizer for the top of our van
, not like the outside top butthe inside ceiling of our van.
And so I'd spent, you know, acouple months, just you know
little things, nothing likesuper pricey, but a couple
hundred bucks just getting somethings in order and, you know,
measuring and all this stuff.
So we drive down to Florida andwe have a really fun, a really
(10:41):
great time, and it was such anadventure.
Camping, sleeping in the van.
The first night was probablythe best night because we were
at a campground, so we were ableto put up a little tent outside
and put all of our junk fromthe van in there so that we
could lay the seats in that andwe could lay in the back, and
then we had an inflatable acrossthe front seats for my oldest
son, and so that is what we did,and it worked out beautifully.
(11:04):
My oldest son, and so that iswhat we did, and it worked out
beautifully.
Well, the drive home was quitedifferent.
We were driving home and theweather really did start to turn
.
It was 38 degrees in northernFlorida Isn't that crazy, 38
degrees?
And so we are 1000 miles awayfrom home on the highway when
(11:28):
our van starts violently shaking.
And I mean, you know, yes, whenyou get that sinking pit in
your stomach like, yeah, heartgoes from where it's supposed to
be down to the bottom, and thatis what it was like, that is
what it was like on our trip.
So instantly I knew oh boy, youknow there's something wrong.
(11:52):
Obviously, I don't know what itis, but we were stuck in a
traffic jam, and all I couldthink of was getting stuck in
the middle of a highway so faraway from home and not being
able to do anything about it.
So my heart sunk because of thenoise and the way that our van
was acting, and then alsobecause I was afraid that we
(12:12):
were not going to be able to getoff of the highway, and that is
not the place I want to bestuck.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No, no, oh, that's a big fear, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
So my anxiety is now at an all-time high and I got
really really quiet.
But my middle son was reallyreally nervous and he and I just
had some moments of cryingtogether because we didn't know
what was going to happen.
We ended up getting off thehighway, making it to a parking
lot, and we were able to stopsomewhere and eat.
(12:45):
That was, you know, our.
The parking lot was right nextdoor.
So I called for a tow truckwith AAA and this happened about
6.30 at night and they werelike we can come and get you.
You know, we could come in andstart taking care of this at
8.30 in the morning and I waslike, okay, all right.
(13:05):
Actually he said between 8.30and 10.30.
And I was like, okay, so we'rejust going to be sleeping
overnight in the van.
But it was really cold becausewe didn't know if we could turn
the van on to have the heatgoing.
Is the engine going to blow up?
I don't know what's wrong withthe van.
So everyone slept good, exceptfor my husband and I.
(13:26):
You know the kids were nice andtoasty, warm.
They slept great.
And the next morning, can I?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
ask you a question.
Yeah, anything around you.
Were there stores, were therebathrooms, what was around you?
Anything.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Oh, I don't know if I told you this, we brought a
bucket toilet.
Oh, I did know about the buckettoilet, yeah and it came handy.
Okay so there wasn't reallyanything that you could go.
There were restaurants around us.
Yeah, there were restaurantsaround us and, to be truthful,
there was a hotel around us.
But we were like, nah, if thevan really needed some serious
(13:59):
work, we wanted to save.
You know, it's like $200 anight.
So we're like, all right, we'lljust, you know, we'll just camp
out here and we'll save thatmoney in case we have to stay,
you know, through the weekend.
So this is on a, this is on aFriday also.
No, no, no, I'm sorry, this wason a Thursday and we were going
to be taking our van on aFriday.
And then, you know, some placesaren't open on the weekend.
(14:20):
So we're like the next morning,AAA gave us a place that we
should have our vehicle towed to.
So I call that place.
They give me a local AAA number.
Tow truck driver comes andpicks us up.
Well, he tells us that theoriginal place we wanted to take
our van to is fully booked andhe's like how about?
(14:41):
You know there's a more like amom and pop shop down the street
.
It's like a mile and a halfaway.
Or would you be okay if we tookthem?
You know, we took you there andthey're like they're really
good.
They're really good, familyowned business.
They, you know, they love Jesus.
He's talking about all thisstuff, and so I am just so
anxiety, seriously, I'm soanxiety filled.
(15:01):
I'm like, okay, well, we justhave to get our van seen.
I believe the best in people,so I'm not thinking anything at
the moment.
Okay, you know, we're cold,we're hungry, we're just kind of
gross, okay.
So we take our van to this placeand they plug the little
machine in and it spits out somecodes.
(15:22):
They say they tell me that, orthey tell us that these codes
mean that we need a new engineand a transmission.
And I'm like what?
I just start sobbing because Idon't know these people.
They're telling me between$10,000 and $11,000.
Our van is a 2016.
It has 103,000 miles on it.
(15:44):
So we just missed our warrantyfor the record by about 3,000
miles, which would have been themonth prior.
And so we're in this predicament, waiting for them to tell us
this or give a price for this,and we end up, you know, about
(16:11):
an hour and a half into waitingthere, I get a call from the
original place I was supposed totake the van to, and this is
when I first noticed something'soff and they said you know, are
you still coming?
And I said well, no, I'm in adifferent place.
Our tow driver said that on theway to get us he called you and
you were fully booked.
She said we've been waiting foryou and nobody called.
Oh no.
(16:33):
So now my anxiety amped up on adifferent level where I didn't
feel safe.
I felt I'm being takenadvantage of.
So I tell you know, I tell thisplace that we're at, we need a
little bit of time to figuresome things out.
So we made a call to a friendback home who was trying to
steer us in a good direction andbegging this place to check
(16:56):
something simple.
The place was not wanting to dothat.
Then they said they did thatand they didn't because I'll
tell you why in a minute.
So we tell them we don't whatwe're going to do.
So they ask if we have thetitle to our van.
Luckily we did not have thetitle to our van with us,
because we probably would havemade a very poor decision by
giving it to them.
There you go, yeah.
(17:17):
So they say well, when you getback home, figure out what you
want to do and you can mail thetitle down to us and we will
sell it for you across thestreet to CarMax, for you know,
maybe you'll get $500 to $1,000.
And I'm just crushed becausewe're just not in a place to
want or get rid of it or be ableto afford a new vehicle.
(17:38):
So we get back home and ourreally close friend who we were
in Florida with on this trip,says this just doesn't sit right
with me and he owns a cardealership and a car repair shop
.
So he says listen, I'm going toship the van up for you.
Of course we paid for it, buthe did all the negotiations and
arrangements and everything.
(17:58):
So he lets me know that it'sall set and ready.
He lets me know that it's allset and ready.
So the person gets there to pickup our van and the shop says
they have no such van there.
So they lie to him and tell himthey don't have our van.
Eventually he gets the van, hebrings it back home.
The repair shop back home cantell that these people did
(18:24):
nothing to it.
Not only that, but the van isnot spitting out any of these
codes that he said.
So we don't know if he waslying about the codes.
We knew something was wrongwith the van, yes, or if he
cleared the codes because ourfriend thinks that they were
going to make the repairs andsell it and make like $8,000 off
of our van and lie to us andsay it needed these major, major
(18:46):
repairs and it's just a wash.
So, we did have to put about$2,200 into our van, but it's
running beautifully.
It's a lot different, a lotdifferent.
The engine was not leaking orbroken.
It needed a tune-up.
Okay, so it needed all newplugs and it needed all new
coils, and after that it hasbeen good to go.
(19:08):
The transmission has been fine.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I can't believe they would do that, that they would
take advantage of a familytowards their vacation in
another state.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Absolutely.
It sickens me.
I sat there and sobbed and mychildren sat in that room for
five hours and they were justblowing smoke, and so I have a
glowing review for them Once Iget my money back.
I'm fighting the chargesbecause they didn't do anything.
They said they did on paper,but our at-home repair shop can
(19:40):
prove they didn't, and so notthat we were going to have them
put $10,000 into it.
We just wanted them to try acouple simple things and so once
I get word on if that is a go,then I will be putting that
glowing review up.
What's interesting is, once Igot there, once I got that call
an hour and a half in, I startedto look them up online and on
(20:04):
their website.
The reviews seemed fine.
But once I found them onFacebook, once I'm back home now
, I've seen several reviewssaying the same thing that I'm
saying, and so I'm thinking thatmaybe they do take care of
their local customers, but itseems as though that they take
advantage of tourists.
So that just feeling like I'mbeing scammed, that really
(20:26):
bothered me.
And you know people who play oh, but they're a great Jesus
loving family.
It was like gosh you know youdon't want that to be a red flag
, but maybe that needs to be ared flag Like what tow truck
driver comes to and says thatJust all these things looking
back, and you know.
Then we got back home and we hadthe stomach bug hit three times
.
Three different times, same kid, three different times.
(20:47):
First time it went througheverybody.
Second time, just him.
Third time, just him.
Oh my gosh, to the point wherewe still haven't done Christmas
exchange yet to this day withtwo different families.
You know that we usually do.
And then, about a week ago, I'mtrying to do some little repair
project in the garage and Iforgot that I had because I'm
(21:09):
interrupted by children.
I forgot that I set a drill myyou know the heavy drill on top
of the ladder and I went to movethe ladder.
Well, the drill fell, hit me inthe chest with the drill bit.
First.
I have a small hole in my chestof the drill bit and it is so,
so sore.
I'm going to be so bruised.
I'm probably bruised inside.
(21:30):
Couldn't even sleep that night.
It hurts so bad.
I mean, is it 2026 yet?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I mean right.
You know when we did talk-.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So much cramped into an entire month, you know, and
it's only one month.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
And everywhere you look, it's like that.
I mean it's just unreal.
But you did say well, we talkedbefore you went on this trip
and during the trip, and we keptsaying you know how memorable
this trip was going to be.
Well, it ended up being areally memorable trip for you.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
It sure did, I'm telling you.
It's one that we won't forget.
I mean, my middle son and I areso much alike in terms of.
It's not that we'rematerialistic at all, it's that
we hold on to memories fromthings.
And so this was the onlyvehicle that we had ever driven,
and we got this when he wasborn so that it could
accommodate all of us instead ofa car.
And it's the only vehicle thatour pets had ever been in.
(22:22):
And there were still noseprints on the windows and we
sobbed.
And when we got our van back,when our friends fixed it, my
middle son said Mommy, we've gotour memories back.
When he saw it in the garage,it was the sweetest thing, and I
tried to explain that, even ifit really was gone for good, our
(22:44):
memories don't disappear withit.
We get to keep them.
But it was really sweet that hesaid that.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
That is really sweet, and that's not all that you
have been going through thisyear.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
No, it is not.
You know something.
It was kind of funny rightbefore we went on, I got a call
from there's a family member ofmine who's in jail, and
deservedly so.
It just is hard, for you know,just hard, when something like
that happens.
It's not for something supermajor, but nonetheless still a
(23:20):
decision, bad decisions thatwere made, and not only that,
you know, it's kind of the thingthat just it hits my heart
anytime I think about and talkabout it, which is often but my
mom on certain days, and it'sjust a lot.
And I nearly, you know, Iwanted to help my dad out and I
(23:59):
wanted to try to give my mom abath last week.
Never, ever again.
It was the most horrificexperience ever.
I thought we were both going todie because, you know, when
people get in this late stage ofthe Alzheimer's disease, I mean
they can help with absolutelynothing.
(24:21):
So my mom is still very, verystrong, even though she looks to
be skin and bones, and so it'slike dead weight plus stiff
weight, if that makes sense, andit's just, it's really, really
hard.
So you know, honestly, if youwant the truth, my prayer for
the start of this year has beenLord, please take my mom home.
(24:44):
Please, you know, end thesuffering here.
And I, you know, sooner thanlater, it's so, so hard, and I
was talking about sooner thanlater.
It's so, so hard, and I wastalking about this with my
counselor, and you know this iswhat she said, that she's
praying the same Unless there'ssomething special that our
family can only get through.
With mom staying here, our hopeand prayer is that God takes
(25:07):
her home soon.
This isn't living.
You know.
It breaks my heart either way,whether she's here or whether
she's gone.
But it's so unfair, it's soexhausting, it's so sad.
She is not a burden, but thisdisease is.
There's no financial help,there's just nothing you can do.
There's not like, oh okay, well, I can give this pill to her
(25:33):
and she's going to be okay forfour hours.
We'll have mom for four hours.
Do you know what I mean?
There's nothing, nothing youcan do, but let it break your
heart as you watch and just loveher through it.
So the only good thing aboutthis is it is truly the sweetest
thing that I wish everybody inthe world truly could see.
My four-year-old son has beensuch a bright light in all of
this.
The way that he loves my mom istruly, truly special the way he
(25:55):
cares for her.
He'll just climb up in bed withher and snuggle.
He'll make sure she has ablanket, that he turns the
lights on, that he's holding herhand.
He tells her little secrets andwhispers them in her ear.
And then he's like why doesn'tshe say anything?
You know that's the only.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Thing.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Boy would she love him so much.
They would be so ornerytogether.
If only we could turn back thehands of time.
So it's really been a brutallast couple of months for me,
just in watching my mom'sdecline and knowing that it's
just going to get worse.
It's like when you just whenyou think it can't, it does or
(26:39):
it will you know, it's truly,it's horrible.
I don't, I don't wish it onanybody, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this
.
There's just so Sorry thatyou're going through all of this
.
There's just so much pain inthe world right now and I'm
petrified for our country too.
You know our future right now.
Our show is not political.
We don't go there intentionally, but I will say this there's
(27:07):
just so much division anddissension that it is.
You know, it's really affecting, I think, everybody, and you
can't even go outside withoutbeing afraid anymore, and I
can't remember ever feeling likethis, except for maybe 9-11.
And it was a different kind offear, but it was fear
(27:32):
nonetheless.
And this is the same kind.
I'm feeling a fear.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I feel, and maybe feeling unsettled is fear.
I guess I don't know, but Ifeel such a sense of unsettled
personally, globally, if youwill, or I should say within the
States.
That's kind of the vibe that Iam getting and it can be really
(27:59):
scary sometimes and I shelter mykids from as much as I can, for
as long as I can, because thereare just some things that they
don't need to know.
But for me personally and thisis what we instill in our boys
we love people all across theboard races, genders, you name
it there is just so muchuneasiness out there, like I've
(28:21):
been saying, that it's hard toavoid and ignore, because I
don't watch mainstream media andnews at all because I don't
want to do that to my mentalhealth.
But at the same time I knowthat certain things going on
lately affect people that I loveand care about dearly.
We have always tried to justkeep things as normal for our
(28:42):
kids as possible, even goingback to the pandemic Sure, too
Same.
I truly believe that our peaceis worth protecting.
The older I get, the longer Ilive.
It really truly is.
And shutting out the world isokay sometimes, I mean sometimes
.
That's why a lot of the timeswhen I go on a trip or something
(29:02):
or I feel like I just need toget away, it's because I need to
shut everything out.
Either everything's just tooloud or too busy too much, and
it's just time to get away andblock it out.
I know that there are a lot ofus who are doing really hard and
hopeful work in terms ofhealing, and I also think,
(29:22):
though, there are far too manypeople who are not healed, and I
think that that's what leadspeople to destroying their lives
and others' lives, becausethey're either living in the
past, or they're living in fear,or they're living in anger, and
I read a quote the other daythat it didn't have any
attribution to it, so these arenot my words, but I think that
(29:43):
everyone should live by this,and it said that the next time
you see someone enjoyingsomething that isn't hurting
anyone that's not your cup oftea Instead of saying something
negative, train yourself tothink to yourself I'm glad
they're happy, and carry on withyour life.
Wouldn't it be so much easier,better, less toxic, less uneasy,
(30:07):
less fearful if we did that.
Why can't we do that?
Why can't we all do that?
That is how I try to live mylife is exactly that.
I will tell my kids, justbecause someone else is doing it
doesn't make it right.
Or I will tell them we're alldifferent so we may not agree
with it, but we can still lovesomeone without understanding,
or we can still be kind withoutunderstanding.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I have so many friends from every walk of life.
I love that.
I love to introduce so manydifferent cultures and
everything to my kids.
You know, I'm doing a socialstudies thing with my son
because I'm homeschooling himand we're doing this thing where
we do a passport and we travelall over the world and it is
(30:52):
really fun and we've been makingthe meals that we learn from
each of the countries and hejust loves every single one.
He just says, oh, I want to gothere, I want to visit there,
and that's what I want my kidsto just be welcoming to
everybody and I just kindness,right now is gone, it just is
(31:15):
gone.
One thing that someone wisetold me recently is how, when
there is so much division and somuch fear and anger that we
need to go in with informationand empowerment and this is so
wise because we are often ledwith so much misinformation
(31:36):
that's where relationships canbe divided and countries fail.
Honestly, we cannot bringpeople together with so much
fear and anger.
We just can't.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yeah, that's a tough one and I've been reading
recently about just trends inpublic relations and just things
like that.
What is the number one trend orhurdle, I would say that PR
people are facing?
And the number one hurdle itwas talking about is all of the
misinformation that is out thereand how frustrating people are
(32:12):
getting by the misinformation,and so I think it just speaks to
what you were talking about.
There's again, and it goes backto how I feel, I think there
are so many unhealed people thatit's causing such unease and
just this turmoil right now thathopefully hopefully it's just a
(32:35):
temporary thing right now, justbecause we've just switched
presidents recently, andhopefully things can start to
flatten out and become a littlemore peaceful.
But I don't pretend to have allthe answers.
I just agree that there'sdefinitely something that so
many are feeling and I reallyhope that we can come to a place
(32:59):
where we can agree to disagreeand we can still be friends or
we can still be kind and we canstill move forward, because that
is so, so, so important.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
I just I pray for that.
I just don't know.
You know it comes down tosafety.
I think we can't move forwardin anything.
I don't know if you had to takethe psychology class, but you
know basic one-on-one psychology, where you take, where you
learn about Maslow's hierarchyof needs, and it's like this
(33:31):
five-tiered system pyramid.
It is basically physiologicalsafety, love, belonging, esteem
and self-actualization and thisis basically saying that if we
don't have food, water andsafety, we can't move on up the
pyramid.
We just can't.
Right now I think and know thatI am stuck on safety and
(33:57):
surviving it and I don't likethis feeling.
I lived like this back in theday, you know, back when I was
making a lot of really baddecisions and lived in my trauma
a lot.
And right now that's what I'mkind of feeling and that I think
our country is kind of feelingthat right now too.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
And I would think that would be fair, even though
I hate that.
It's the feeling that a lot ofus have.
You know, you mentioned safety,and I'm sure that that's why
you feel like you want to justbe at home more lately.
I'm feeling that way too.
I've really spent the entiremonth of January not wanting to
do anything.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
You probably don't want to take your van anywhere,
huh.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yeah, honestly, yeah, I'm like I really hope it's
safe to drive.
I really wish I could havegotten a new one, because I
don't know why that sort ofthing like taints the way.
I think you know there'ssomething wrong with it.
So now there's just going toforever be something wrong with
it.
So I'm trying to work throughthat.
But the other thing is, I justhave felt such a strong safety
(35:00):
net at home and honestly I thinkmy kids have too, because there
have been opportunities that myoldest son in particular has
had to go places with friendsand their parents.
He's not wanted to do it, somuch so that the one friend
thought that did I do somethingto you?
And he said, no, I just want tobe at home.
(35:20):
And so I'm just now, actually,as we're talking this out,
putting that together because Iwas like, seriously, why don't
you want to go?
I really don't understand, butit was probably something he
couldn't articulate because hedidn't understand it himself.
He just knows that home is whereyou feel safe and you know what
?
I'm not so mad at that, becausethis should be the place where
they feel safest, and it iswhere I feel safest too.
(35:41):
I've been making myself go outin the month of January and it's
like sometimes I don't evenknow why, because if this is
really just where I want to beright now, then I should just
let myself be.
I'm not trying to become ahermit.
It's just a period of time or apoint in time that this is
where I feel most comfortable.
And, again, my peace is worthprotecting, and so is yours.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know why we fight, trying to
feel like we want to be home.
I don't see anything wrong withthat, I guess.
Why do I feel like there'ssomething wrong with that?
Speaker 1 (36:16):
That's a really good question.
I think for you it's becauseyou are always on the go, go, go
, go go.
I feel like you are more whereI'm the opposite.
I really do like being at homea lot Not that you don't like
being at home.
But you just went up and youwent to New York and I mean, yes
, I went to Florida, but thatwas really more of a
(36:38):
semi-planned thing, just kind oftalked about, I don't know.
I feel like you're so much moreable to go out and just push
through or do all these thingsand I'm much more like nah, I'd
rather be home, you know, youknow well, I want to be where
peace is, and right now I don'tfeel much peace out there and
(37:02):
when I normally travel You'resafe at home.
So I think the peace and thesafety are going hand in hand,
and that's why you're pickinghome.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Well, when we were in New York, you know it was scary
, I actually.
There were protests that weregoing around and things like
that right in the heart of TimesSquare.
And I'm not against protesting,but when you're with your kids
and everything is escalatedaround you and there were so
many people there, I mean I wasreally afraid there.
(37:35):
I mean I was really afraid.
So we would have normally beenout walking around and sitting
and enjoying Times Square andeverything, but we went back to
the hotel much earlier than wenormally did when there is
uncertainty, there's fear, youknow, and that's how I felt, and
I think that that's kind ofwhat we're feeling.
There's so much uncertaintygoing on in the world right now,
and I've seen it even with mykids.
(37:57):
They've been more aggressiveand acting out more often.
It's trying to figure out a wayto manage living in a world
where there is fear, anxiety andstruggle everywhere.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
And we are going to have that here, I know Well.
I think you hit the nail on thehead, because that's exactly
how I felt with our carsituation in Florida.
All do not know these people,trust these people.
I am so far from home and Ithink you've hit the nail on the
head, and so for me, I wouldsay what we did was we came back
to a place of safety, a placethat felt comfortable, home.
(38:48):
Then we were able to clear ourminds and figure out a good plan
by someone that we trust.
So that's how we were able tomove forward, and I feel like
that's how it will have to gofor some of the things that
we've been talking about heretoday Getting that trust back,
(39:11):
fighting through the fear andanxiety, getting that, getting
that trust back some way somehowso that you can move forward in
peace.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah, for me and it's coming back to center is trying
to find center again, trying tofind that balance, walking away
from the news, walking towardspeace.
But for me, right now, it'sabout balance.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah Well, balance is a good thing, because when we
feel balanced, I think that addsto feeling safe.
It adds to our peace.
So when we feel like we're outof balance, it's so important
that we figure out where is itcoming from and what can we do
to get ourselves more alignedagain.
Coming from and what can we doto get ourselves more aligned
(39:57):
again.
So for me, for example, I knowthat I need to start doing more
exercising again.
I did really well in Novemberand fell off track in December
and January, but starting topick it back up again, just
making myself go outside.
It helped that I had ourneighbor's daughter's dog for a
couple of days and that I had totake him for a walk and I
really loved all of that.
But one of the things I don'ttake out of my routine is my
(40:21):
restorative yoga, because thatpiece filled one hour every week
is so good for me.
My body benefits from that inways that I never would have
thought possible.
So I think it's important thatyou know, if you're feeling that
way, that you find something tohelp you get back to that
center.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, you know I surround myself with positivity.
I really try, and it is looking, seeking that positivity.
Getting back to innocence, Ithink that that's really
important.
You know, I'll just turn onDisney shows and some old half
hour stuff.
You know I love Lucy and thingslike that and we also we love
(41:04):
Mr Bean.
He's hilarious.
We'll just turn him on just toget a big family collective
laugh, you know.
But I mean, I think that that'sjust so important right now
I'll just sit and just want tolaugh and find that innocence
again.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
Well, laughter is an instant vacation.
I made a ceramic bowl that hasthat quote in the bottom of it.
I love that quote.
Yes, laughter is an instantvacation.
So it makes perfect sense to mewhy you need that and I need
that too, and I know you get itwith your kids and I get the
laughter with mine as well.
But I'll say, going back tothose shows that you watch,
(41:42):
probably either from yourchildhood or that are just
familiar, again, that comfortit's all about.
Well, what makes you feel likehome?
It's like what is that grilledcheese and tomato soup in your
life?
That's what you need.
That's what you need to find.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
You know, it's because I was watching the news
and I was just finding myselfwatching the LA fires and the
politics and everything that'sgoing on, and now the plane and
everything, and it's knowingwhen to walk away and turn that
Disney show on or just findanother kind of fun thing to do
that isn't so consuming in anegative way, and I don't know
(42:19):
why I keep watching it when mybody is telling me you know,
it's not good for you anymore,you need to walk away.
So I just want to go grab a cupof coffee and have some peace
and I just want to breathe it inand cultivate optimism.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's hard, though, because you have such a big
caring heart that you'rewatching that and you're glued
to it.
It's the same reason thatpeople watch, and myself
included.
If you watch the shows onserial killers and things like
that, of course everything in meis like I don't want to know, I
don't want to watch any of this.
But yet you're so intrigued,either because of well, you
(42:58):
don't understand in the case ofwhat I was just talking about or
when you're watching, it'sbecause your heart hurts so bad
for those people and you're likeI just can't imagine.
And I can't either.
I can't imagine losing my homeand everything in it.
It's not the things, it's thememories.
It would be like all my photoalbums.
I would totally miss that.
(43:19):
So awful and happening to thesepeople that are to most of us
strangers, and I don't mean thatin any mean way.
I just mean that, if yourbody's screaming at you and
(43:42):
there's nothing you can do, youcould say a prayer for them, and
then you know that you can befilled with gratitude for
everything that you have andkind of take a break from that,
because sometimes that heavystuff really, really weighs on
you.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah, you know.
Our society in general hasgotten so far off the path.
Do you think that we will everbe able to have a respectful
conversation with people whodisagree?
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Well, oh boy, that is such a heavy question.
I want to say I am capable ofit, but I don't think many
people are.
I feel like as soon as youdisagree with someone, people
automatically think you hatethem, and that is not the case.
So I think that that'ssomething that people need to
(44:33):
get over.
Just because I don't agree withyou doesn't mean I hate you.
I simply don't agree.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, it would be great to be able to be around
people and all have differingopinions.
I mean, I remember being ableto be like that, you know, but
not now.
So how can we strengthenconnections in such divided
times?
I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I don't know if I have an answer to that either.
I guess I would say I trulythink it could start with the
quote that we talked aboutearlier, and I'm going to jump
up here and get back to it,because I think it's that
important the next time you seesomeone enjoying something that
isn't hurting anyone and that'snot your cup of tea, instead of
(45:26):
saying something negative, trainyourself to think to yourself
I'm glad they're happy and carryon with your life.
I really think it could startthere.
Not saying it will or it should.
I just think that's a goodstarting point is flipping the
switch in our brain to whatmaybe we would have thought, to
a new way of thinking.
I don't know.
(45:46):
Just a thought, because that'sa hard question.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, these are very tough ones to answer.
You know, practicing kindness,how about that?
Just random acts of kindness?
There's the yeah, that's one ofmy favorites.
There's this TikTok barista,and I don't even know why.
It's kind of like, you know,I'm into the housewives.
It's kind of like this weirdthing that I got into where
(46:12):
every now and then, when I'mcleaning or whatever, I turn
certain people on on TikTok andI watch their lives and they
really speak to me.
And this one barista, she is socool because she just has the
best positive energy and she hassuch great things to say to
everybody.
(46:33):
And when there is somebody thatshe might not agree with, she
just says, oh well, tell me moreabout that, or I can appreciate
that, you know, and I just lovethat about her.
And then she genuinely wants toknow more about them.
And why do you feel this way?
Why do you believe this way?
(46:53):
And in no way does even heropinion that might be different
come across like they're wrong.
She's just wanting to get toknow them and that's just such a
beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
You know.
I think that that might beanother healing part of this.
And how to answer the question,how to strengthen connections
in divided times.
Listen, practice being a reallygood listener, and I'm talking
literally listening withouttrying to come up with a
response, but just listening.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Yeah, yeah, she does.
I mean there's times I and hername is their caffeination
station.
By the way, on TikTok I'm goingto shout her out because I'm so
in love with who she is as ahuman being and I really think
that we could all learn from her.
I really do, because there'snot enough of that going around.
(47:50):
We need to demonstrate patience, respect and integrity and
avoid contributing to negativity.
I have been in a situation inmy life where keeping my mouth
shut was the only way to go.
There was so much more I couldhave said, but I really did
(48:12):
decide to take the high road.
I had a boss that we wereabsolutely going in different
directions in our philosophiesin life and you know she was
very aggressive, wanted to haveverbal arguments, so I decided
to just leave the job.
I also decided to keep my mouthshut and, you know, just move
(48:33):
on.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
I didn't want to escalate you know, but that's a
sign of maturity, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
Oh yeah.
So if we keep pouring gas oneven a small disagreement, it
will eventually erupt whensomething is burnt.
There is just no coming backfrom that.
You can't keep trying to watera dead tree.
It's just not coming back.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Yeah, you are so right about that and I've
learned that a few times overthe last year.
And you know what, if there arepeople who want to keep their
distance from me, please andthank you is how I feel about it
now, because my track recordspeaks for itself, kind of like
what you were saying.
You know I have integrity, Iknow who I am and I'm okay if
(49:22):
you don't want to be on my side.
But my hope is that for thosewho aren't, is that there can
still be civility, that we canjust cheer our kids at least you
know families in life and nothope for bad things.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Yeah, I've learned to focus on what I can control,
because there is so much outthere that's out of my control,
not people's actions and some ofthat could be within my own
four walls.
You know, I have to just learnto focus on what I can control,
learn when to let go and letthem.
(49:58):
That's a big saying for me Letgo and let them.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Yes, that's a book that should be coming to my
mailbox in the next day or two.
It's the Let them Theory by MelRobbins.
I'm so excited to read thatbook because let them, it's so,
so, so powerful.
I think that we will be postingsome things.
I actually have some greatthings to say about that.
Just that my counselor sent meon that book, which is why I
(50:24):
ordered it.
I'm also reading I Want toTrust you, but I Don't, by Lisa
Turkis, and boy is that onespeaking to my heart too.
So I think that we can use ourFacebook page to post some
excerpts from those two books,because they're super great and
they go along with what we'resaying.
But yeah, let them, it's reallyhard.
Don't let me make you think, oh, it's super easy.
No, it's very, very hard.
(50:50):
But here's what I'll tell you Ithink that we are strong and we
can do it.
Let them we know who we are.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
I mean, why not?
Why not?
Speaker 1 (51:00):
Yeah, you can't control that.
You know how other people viewyou, but you absolutely can
control your joy, your happinessand what you're going to allow
in and if it's not light, ifit's darkness, keep it out.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
You know, I read something once to use your
compass as your guide.
There you go.
I mean, it couldn't be moretrue Hone in on what you believe
, what you need, what peacemeans to you.
Set boundaries to protect yourpeace.
No one to walk away, no one toinvite constructive
(51:33):
conversations.
But when there can't be aconstructive conversation, I
pray.
You know I walk around so manytimes during my day just having
conversations.
My son the other day he's likewho are you talking to?
I mean, I'm serious, I willhave out loud conversations with
God.
He is my counselor.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
I think that's wonderful.
There's a lot.
My brain never stops, sothere's a lot of communication
going on in my brain.
One of the things I think we'vetalked about before is and I
haven't done this religiously,so don't think that, oh my gosh,
how do you do it?
But I do keep a gratitudejournal and I should do it more,
just because for everydayreasons.
(52:17):
But typically I'll turn to thatwhen I really feel myself sort
of spiraling out and boy, itreally does pick you up.
It's kind of like a hot airballoon.
It picks you back up off theground and raises you up.
It's such a powerful tool,Gratitude.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
It really changes everything back to having
(52:51):
disagreements that don't have tolead to animosity.
I mean, it would just changeeverything, I think, in the
heaviness that I think I'mconstantly feeling right now, I
really just want to get awayfrom that.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, I agree Again.
Just because I disagree withyou or because you disagree with
me, it doesn't mean we have toor that we do hate each other.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
Yeah, you know, I just want to be neutral
sometimes, right, right, noteverything has to generate an
emotion, true.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Yeah, that's so true I want to live in the neutral
zone.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
I married a man like that.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
One of the things that people say about me and I'm
kind of proud of this, becauseI really don't brag about myself
very often, but I really dobelieve this about myself is
that I am a genuine cheerleaderfor people and their successes
and I am not one to normally getjealous, and I love telling
(53:53):
people that I am so proud of youand help them get wherever it
is you know in life, and Ireally do think that we need
more of that.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
I agree and I attest to that you are.
You are probably one of thefirst friends, a female friend,
who showed me what you justdescribed about yourself.
I remember when we werecovering a capital murder case
together and I was asked to dothis national news coverage of
(54:23):
it and I'm like, why did theypick me?
I'm so nervous.
And you came with me and youwere not at all jealous, you
were feeding me information.
You were right there by my side, my biggest cheerleader.
I absolutely love that aboutyou.
It is so, so, so true.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
And I've told you all along for the last 16 years I
think now, or whatever it isthat I will always be one of
your biggest cheerleaders.
I mean, I really feel that foryou.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
So I just I adore that about you and I thank you
so much.
It's it's so wonderful to havea real cheerleader on your side,
not someone who's using you orbeing fake you know anything for
their advantage.
You're genuinely happy, as I am, for you, too, and your
accomplishments.
I always say this podcast isyou.
You are genuinely happy, as Iam, for you, too, and your
accomplishments.
I always say this podcast isyou.
You are the one that keeps thisthing going.
(55:12):
You do not even need me, butyet you still want me here, and
so I am absolutely honored.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
Well, we are Real Talk with Tina and Ann, and
that's the way it is, so, but Imean just, you know, not to have
an agenda.
Isn't that a great thing, justto be friends for each other and
not have an agenda?
Speaker 1 (55:35):
And know that friends are going to make mistakes.
None of us are perfect butlet's just talk it out and then
let's get over it and move on.
I mean, I think that's such animportant other aspect to any
relationship too, and whateverhappened to empathy.
I have a lot of it.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
I think that we've lost it.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
I think a lot of people have yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
Yeah, people just aren't genuinely caring for
other people in a way that theycan put themselves in other
people's shoes and reallyunderstand who they are.
It's just, it's completely gone.
And here's a question Can wethrive with division?
Can we find peace in chaos?
Speaker 1 (56:17):
I don't think so Well , I thrive in division, gosh, I,
you know.
I think that's going to be aperson-by-person basis.
If you take that in theconnotation of the sports world.
Yes, I think that you canthrive as an athlete in the
(56:38):
world right now.
I want to say kindness willprevail, that it will all be
okay.
But I just don't know.
I want the division to.
(56:59):
You know, sometimes when there'sa major event, say, for example
, okay, the California wildfirespeople come together and I know
that's not really a divisivething, but it is beautiful to
see people come together andhelp in the rebuilding process
from them standing up for whatis right, so that it really
helps give a certain group orjust a single person, whatever.
(57:33):
It is just that I don't evenknow what the word I'm looking
for is, not comfort, but I guessjust the clarity that, okay, I
do matter and it does matter andthank you for standing up for
what's right, because even if wedisagree, we can still stand
together, just because no oneshould be treated this way.
Or you know, whatever thesituation is, I'd like to say I
(57:55):
hope so.
And when it comes to findingpeace in the chaos, for me that
is absolutely when, if it getstoo chaotic, I will pull back
and find ways to get my peaceback.
But again, that's a veryindividual thing, yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:11):
Even the smallest of ripples can bring about positive
change.
And you know, I've watched eventhe smallest ripples of
negative bring about a negativechange.
So I mean, it doesn't take muchto change course and go in a
different direction.
So let's find hope and engagein love and find neutrality Is
(58:36):
that a word?
It is Okay.
Let's find it and come inground and live in empathy I
think that that would be andcheer each other on.
I mean just, you know, be therefor each other, strengthen
connections in our timesAbsolutely, and then forgive,
(58:59):
forgive.
Be respectful.
That's a big one.
Oh, that's a big one.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Yeah, Forgive, be respectful and you can always
choose kindness, Always.
We're going to put that quoteup on our Facebook page for Real
Talk with Tina and Anne, theone we've mentioned a couple
times in here about even if youdon't see eye to eye, you can
still cheer someone on Amensister friend.
Well, thank you all so much forjoining us today on this
(59:23):
edition of Real Talk with Tinaand Anne.
We look forward to seeing younext week.
Yay, yay.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
It turned out better than I thought.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
It turned out really good.
It turned out really good whenI was reading it over before we
went on air earlier this morning.
I was laughing about your pie.
I was laughing so hard.
I was like oh, poor Ant.
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Tina.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And I am Anne.
I was just telling you, tina,how much I love when it's just
us.
I mean, it just warms my heart.
I am so glad that we are tapinghere today.
You know we were going to startthis podcast differently, but
there is so much going on in theworld right now.
You know, I thought a littlehumor would help, but I just
(00:32):
don't know if it would.
I have spent way too much timewith my eyes on the news right
now and I've reached the pointof what's more important my
mental health or being informed?
And I think right now it's mymental health.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, I think that's the route we should all take.
I think it's so worthprotecting our peace, and I'm
going to talk about that a lotduring this podcast, and I'm
going to add a little humor,because I feel like I've been
waiting forever to say this.
It's January 75th, or it's likethe 75th day of the month.
Oh my gosh, it feels like thismonth is never ending.
(01:13):
Ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
It really does feel that way.
I can't believe that just amonth ago, in a few days, was
Christmas.
I mean, it seriously does feellike this month has gone on
forever.
I mean it's the very last endof the month.
By the time people hear this,it's going to be February, but
you know, don't worry, there'llbe a lot more happen by the time
(01:38):
, right, right.
(02:04):
I think that so many people,whenever they are able to catch
the podcast and be like oh yeah,I remember January was a one,
but there's just so much goingon and it's just so scary out
there, I feel safer at home.
You know, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm this person where I'm aFOMO person.
If it's going on, I want to bethere, but I don't feel that way
(02:26):
right now.
I'm good, I'm like nope, havefun.
That's how I feel.
I made myself go to an arcadeand out to eat and enjoy this
past weekend and I still feltthat fear and it felt like a
PTSD thing was going on with me.
I don't feel myself, I feel off.
I mean, this is an example of2025 and how it started for me.
(02:50):
We started it with thenorovirus and my kids.
It was coming out both ends.
You know, it was really my oneson.
I mean, he sleeps with me a lotstill and he was puking all
over my bed and that's how 2025started for me.
We had family coming over thenext day.
(03:11):
I had to cancel and tell them,sorry, we can't do it.
We got some sickness going onover here and I had the best pie
made ever.
I'm not kidding you, it was thebest and it was so good.
I mean, we ended up eating itand the best and it was so good.
I mean we ended up eating it.
It was this peanut butter creampie.
That was just so delicious andyou know I was going to give it
(03:35):
to them because I just love themso much.
I want them to be so impressedover this pie.
And then here you know it, justI couldn't serve it to them.
So we ate it.
It was great.
I gave it to some friends.
They loved it One of the recipe, that's how good it was.
And then, two weeks later, we'regoing to do this again.
So they come, I made the samepie.
(03:58):
I'm all about it.
This is the best pie ever.
You're going to absolutely lovethis thing.
And it ended up being the worstpie ever.
I didn't taste it first becauseI was so confident that this
was going to be a great pie andI said this is the best pie here
.
Go ahead and have it.
And I think they were bothgoing to puke.
(04:20):
And then my cousin says well,at least we didn't get sick.
You know, it's like, oh my gosh, I just felt so embarrassed
because the consistency of theentire pie was off because one
of the ingredients got frozen,which I didn't know that would
happen to the pie because it wasfrozen.
But that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh, because.
I've done that too, withcertain meals I'm like, oh, it's
a slam dunk, not even going totry it.
And then it's like, oh my gosh,I forgot to add one of the main
ingredients.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It was so bad.
The funny part of it is wasthat I really hyped this thing
up.
I mean I served it andliterally said to them this is
the best pie you will ever eat.
And they both went them this isthe best pie you will ever eat.
(05:11):
And they both went oh, oh mygosh.
And they didn't say anythingand they just said no, you know,
we're kind of full.
And I was just like, okay, youknow, they were just nice about
it.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
And then when I went and took a bite, yeah, you were
like I didn't know you couldfreeze cream cheese.
Is that true?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Well, apparently not.
Don't do it.
That's just one example.
I mean, it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Well, you are the one who told me because I had a
crazy start to the year as well,that it started with WTF
Wednesday, thursday, friday, ofcourse, is what we mean?
That's what we mean, yeah.
Or what in the world?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I know the censored version of it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
But oh gosh, let me tell you I can totally relate to
thinking you've got it in thebag and then you don't.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know, you know and I also had an experience,
tina, that which you know me.
I'm like this manifester.
I believe in something and it'sgoing to happen.
I'm that confident and we hadhad a really rough time.
My cat had passed away.
We said, you know, I'm justgoing to get in the car, we're
going to drive to New York.
(06:25):
And I said, well, let's just gosee Hoda for the last time and
go see the show.
And it was kind of fun.
We went to the top of theEmpire State Building, we did
all these really amazing things.
But when we did go to the TodayShow, my kids have made this
kind of connection with her andit's kind of fun.
She acts like she recognizesthem.
(06:46):
I don't know if she does or not, but she acts like it, you know
, out of all the millions ofpeople that she sees.
And she says, yeah, I rememberyou, and they were all hugging
and everything.
And we've talked a few times.
And she said you know, I dowant to connect with her.
And she turns to her producerwho ends up sitting.
He's standing right there andshe says I want to connect with
(07:09):
her and he says, oh, okay, so hegives me his email and we went
back and forth a few times andyou know it was really crazy.
We had Thanksgiving andChristmas and they had the tree
lighting that they had to getready for, and they had her
party, her big celebration forleaving in January.
So all this was going on and Ididn't really hear back.
(07:32):
You know, we went back andforth a couple of times and he
said he was going to do it, butI just wasn't sure because I'm
not great at, you know, lettinggo of the baton and trusting
that person that's going to dothe last leg of the race, right,
right.
So you know I checked on itevery now and then, but he would
write back yeah, I will,whatever.
And he finally wrote me andsaid I'm giving it to her.
(07:53):
So I was just like, yay.
And then right after that, I gotthis phone call two phone calls
that were private numbers,which I never, ever get a phone
call from a private number thatI was teaching my son during
(08:14):
homeschooling and I always havemy phone on, do not disturb and
I'm like, looking at this phone,convinced that it was her.
I mean, I'm sure it wasn't her,but you know I'm still the
story isn't over, but that's howit feels to me Like I just keep
missing things, like I'm justoff, everything just feels off,
like my normal manifestationself would have made it happen
and I would have answered thephone and we would have had a
(08:34):
conversation, but I'm not on.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
And you know what that was her.
But because you're just not inthe right mental state right now
, which is obviously temporary,that it wasn't the time, but it
doesn't mean that you won'tconnect again.
I think you said somethingimportant that your mental
health comes first.
You know you said that just afew minutes ago.
For whatever reason, you knowyou are focusing on the right
(08:59):
thing.
You were focusing on givingyour son the schooling that he
needs that day.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So I mean I don't think everything works.
Yeah, yeah, well, maybe, maybewhen it is the right time and
she does have a saying you know,right on time, so maybe there
is the right time for that.
Absolutely, you've really had arough time.
I mean your year.
(09:25):
You have to tell the story ofhow your year started.
Absolutely, you've really had arough time.
I mean you have to tell thisstory of how your year started.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Okay, well, let me just backtrack it a moment.
Last New Year's I'm beginningto not like New Year's Last New
Year's I was in the hospitalwith pneumonia, first time I
ever had pneumonia.
I was like awesome, welcome tobeing 40.
And I was hospitalized withpneumonia First time I ever had
pneumonia.
I was like awesome, welcome tobeing 40.
And I was hospitalized withpneumonia and it was horrible.
(09:49):
I really thought I was dying.
So I really tried not to thinkabout anything this New Year's
and we decided that we justwanted to get away, our family
just wanted to get away, and wewere going to do this fun road
trip.
I had been collecting we mayhave even talked about it on the
show before, but I had beencollecting items to be able to
sleep in our van, to go camping,you know, just like inflatable
(10:13):
air mattresses and thisorganizer for the top of our van
, not like the outside top butthe inside ceiling of our van.
And so I'd spent, you know, acouple months, just you know
little things, nothing likesuper pricey, but a couple
hundred bucks just getting somethings in order and, you know,
measuring and all this stuff.
So we drive down to Florida andwe have a really fun, a really
(10:41):
great time, and it was such anadventure.
Camping, sleeping in the van.
The first night was probablythe best night because we were
at a campground, so we were ableto put up a little tent outside
and put all of our junk fromthe van in there so that we
could lay the seats in that andwe could lay in the back, and
then we had an inflatable acrossthe front seats for my oldest
son, and so that is what we did,and it worked out beautifully.
(11:04):
My oldest son, and so that iswhat we did, and it worked out
beautifully.
Well, the drive home was quitedifferent.
We were driving home and theweather really did start to turn
.
It was 38 degrees in northernFlorida Isn't that crazy, 38
degrees?
And so we are 1000 miles awayfrom home on the highway when
(11:28):
our van starts violently shaking.
And I mean, you know, yes, whenyou get that sinking pit in
your stomach like, yeah, heartgoes from where it's supposed to
be down to the bottom, and thatis what it was like, that is
what it was like on our trip.
So instantly I knew oh boy, youknow there's something wrong.
(11:52):
Obviously, I don't know what itis, but we were stuck in a
traffic jam, and all I couldthink of was getting stuck in
the middle of a highway so faraway from home and not being
able to do anything about it.
So my heart sunk because of thenoise and the way that our van
was acting, and then alsobecause I was afraid that we
(12:12):
were not going to be able to getoff of the highway, and that is
not the place I want to bestuck.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No, no, oh, that's a big fear, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
So my anxiety is now at an all-time high and I got
really really quiet.
But my middle son was reallyreally nervous and he and I just
had some moments of cryingtogether because we didn't know
what was going to happen.
We ended up getting off thehighway, making it to a parking
lot, and we were able to stopsomewhere and eat.
(12:45):
That was, you know, our.
The parking lot was right nextdoor.
So I called for a tow truckwith AAA and this happened about
6.30 at night and they werelike we can come and get you.
You know, we could come in andstart taking care of this at
8.30 in the morning and I waslike, okay, all right.
(13:05):
Actually he said between 8.30and 10.30.
And I was like, okay, so we'rejust going to be sleeping
overnight in the van.
But it was really cold becausewe didn't know if we could turn
the van on to have the heatgoing.
Is the engine going to blow up?
I don't know what's wrong withthe van.
So everyone slept good, exceptfor my husband and I.
(13:26):
You know the kids were nice andtoasty, warm.
They slept great.
And the next morning, can I?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
ask you a question.
Yeah, anything around you.
Were there stores, were therebathrooms, what was around you?
Anything.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Oh, I don't know if I told you this, we brought a
bucket toilet.
Oh, I did know about the buckettoilet, yeah and it came handy.
Okay so there wasn't reallyanything that you could go.
There were restaurants around us.
Yeah, there were restaurantsaround us and, to be truthful,
there was a hotel around us.
But we were like, nah, if thevan really needed some serious
(13:59):
work, we wanted to save.
You know, it's like $200 anight.
So we're like, all right, we'lljust, you know, we'll just camp
out here and we'll save thatmoney in case we have to stay,
you know, through the weekend.
So this is on a, this is on aFriday also.
No, no, no, I'm sorry, this wason a Thursday and we were going
to be taking our van on aFriday.
And then, you know, some placesaren't open on the weekend.
(14:20):
So we're like the next morning,AAA gave us a place that we
should have our vehicle towed to.
So I call that place.
They give me a local AAA number.
Tow truck driver comes andpicks us up.
Well, he tells us that theoriginal place we wanted to take
our van to is fully booked andhe's like how about?
(14:41):
You know there's a more like amom and pop shop down the street
.
It's like a mile and a halfaway.
Or would you be okay if we tookthem?
You know, we took you there andthey're like they're really
good.
They're really good, familyowned business.
They, you know, they love Jesus.
He's talking about all thisstuff, and so I am just so
anxiety, seriously, I'm soanxiety filled.
(15:01):
I'm like, okay, well, we justhave to get our van seen.
I believe the best in people,so I'm not thinking anything at
the moment.
Okay, you know, we're cold,we're hungry, we're just kind of
gross, okay.
So we take our van to this placeand they plug the little
machine in and it spits out somecodes.
(15:22):
They say they tell me that, orthey tell us that these codes
mean that we need a new engineand a transmission.
And I'm like what?
I just start sobbing because Idon't know these people.
They're telling me between$10,000 and $11,000.
Our van is a 2016.
It has 103,000 miles on it.
(15:44):
So we just missed our warrantyfor the record by about 3,000
miles, which would have been themonth prior.
And so we're in this predicament, waiting for them to tell us
this or give a price for this,and we end up, you know, about
(16:11):
an hour and a half into waitingthere, I get a call from the
original place I was supposed totake the van to, and this is
when I first noticed something'soff and they said you know, are
you still coming?
And I said well, no, I'm in adifferent place.
Our tow driver said that on theway to get us he called you and
you were fully booked.
She said we've been waiting foryou and nobody called.
Oh no.
(16:33):
So now my anxiety amped up on adifferent level where I didn't
feel safe.
I felt I'm being takenadvantage of.
So I tell you know, I tell thisplace that we're at, we need a
little bit of time to figuresome things out.
So we made a call to a friendback home who was trying to
steer us in a good direction andbegging this place to check
(16:56):
something simple.
The place was not wanting to dothat.
Then they said they did thatand they didn't because I'll
tell you why in a minute.
So we tell them we don't whatwe're going to do.
So they ask if we have thetitle to our van.
Luckily we did not have thetitle to our van with us,
because we probably would havemade a very poor decision by
giving it to them.
There you go, yeah.
(17:17):
So they say well, when you getback home, figure out what you
want to do and you can mail thetitle down to us and we will
sell it for you across thestreet to CarMax, for you know,
maybe you'll get $500 to $1,000.
And I'm just crushed becausewe're just not in a place to
want or get rid of it or be ableto afford a new vehicle.
(17:38):
So we get back home and ourreally close friend who we were
in Florida with on this trip,says this just doesn't sit right
with me and he owns a cardealership and a car repair shop
.
So he says listen, I'm going toship the van up for you.
Of course we paid for it, buthe did all the negotiations and
arrangements and everything.
(17:58):
So he lets me know that it'sall set and ready.
He lets me know that it's allset and ready.
So the person gets there to pickup our van and the shop says
they have no such van there.
So they lie to him and tell himthey don't have our van.
Eventually he gets the van, hebrings it back home.
The repair shop back home cantell that these people did
(18:24):
nothing to it.
Not only that, but the van isnot spitting out any of these
codes that he said.
So we don't know if he waslying about the codes.
We knew something was wrongwith the van, yes, or if he
cleared the codes because ourfriend thinks that they were
going to make the repairs andsell it and make like $8,000 off
of our van and lie to us andsay it needed these major, major
(18:46):
repairs and it's just a wash.
So, we did have to put about$2,200 into our van, but it's
running beautifully.
It's a lot different, a lotdifferent.
The engine was not leaking orbroken.
It needed a tune-up.
Okay, so it needed all newplugs and it needed all new
coils, and after that it hasbeen good to go.
(19:08):
The transmission has been fine.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I can't believe they would do that, that they would
take advantage of a familytowards their vacation in
another state.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Absolutely.
It sickens me.
I sat there and sobbed and mychildren sat in that room for
five hours and they were justblowing smoke, and so I have a
glowing review for them Once Iget my money back.
I'm fighting the chargesbecause they didn't do anything.
They said they did on paper,but our at-home repair shop can
(19:40):
prove they didn't, and so notthat we were going to have them
put $10,000 into it.
We just wanted them to try acouple simple things and so once
I get word on if that is a go,then I will be putting that
glowing review up.
What's interesting is, once Igot there, once I got that call
an hour and a half in, I startedto look them up online and on
(20:04):
their website.
The reviews seemed fine.
But once I found them onFacebook, once I'm back home now
, I've seen several reviewssaying the same thing that I'm
saying, and so I'm thinking thatmaybe they do take care of
their local customers, but itseems as though that they take
advantage of tourists.
So that just feeling like I'mbeing scammed, that really
(20:26):
bothered me.
And you know people who play oh, but they're a great Jesus
loving family.
It was like gosh you know youdon't want that to be a red flag
, but maybe that needs to be ared flag Like what tow truck
driver comes to and says thatJust all these things looking
back, and you know.
Then we got back home and we hadthe stomach bug hit three times
.
Three different times, same kid, three different times.
(20:47):
First time it went througheverybody.
Second time, just him.
Third time, just him.
Oh my gosh, to the point wherewe still haven't done Christmas
exchange yet to this day withtwo different families.
You know that we usually do.
And then, about a week ago, I'mtrying to do some little repair
project in the garage and Iforgot that I had because I'm
(21:09):
interrupted by children.
I forgot that I set a drill myyou know the heavy drill on top
of the ladder and I went to movethe ladder.
Well, the drill fell, hit me inthe chest with the drill bit.
First.
I have a small hole in my chestof the drill bit and it is so,
so sore.
I'm going to be so bruised.
I'm probably bruised inside.
(21:30):
Couldn't even sleep that night.
It hurts so bad.
I mean, is it 2026 yet?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I mean right.
You know when we did talk-.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So much cramped into an entire month, you know, and
it's only one month.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
And everywhere you look, it's like that.
I mean it's just unreal.
But you did say well, we talkedbefore you went on this trip
and during the trip, and we keptsaying you know how memorable
this trip was going to be.
Well, it ended up being areally memorable trip for you.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
It sure did, I'm telling you.
It's one that we won't forget.
I mean, my middle son and I areso much alike in terms of.
It's not that we'rematerialistic at all, it's that
we hold on to memories fromthings.
And so this was the onlyvehicle that we had ever driven,
and we got this when he wasborn so that it could
accommodate all of us instead ofa car.
And it's the only vehicle thatour pets had ever been in.
(22:22):
And there were still noseprints on the windows and we
sobbed.
And when we got our van back,when our friends fixed it, my
middle son said Mommy, we've gotour memories back.
When he saw it in the garage,it was the sweetest thing, and I
tried to explain that, even ifit really was gone for good, our
(22:44):
memories don't disappear withit.
We get to keep them.
But it was really sweet that hesaid that.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
That is really sweet, and that's not all that you
have been going through thisyear.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
No, it is not.
You know something.
It was kind of funny rightbefore we went on, I got a call
from there's a family member ofmine who's in jail, and
deservedly so.
It just is hard, for you know,just hard, when something like
that happens.
It's not for something supermajor, but nonetheless still a
(23:20):
decision, bad decisions thatwere made, and not only that,
you know, it's kind of the thingthat just it hits my heart
anytime I think about and talkabout it, which is often but my
mom on certain days, and it'sjust a lot.
And I nearly, you know, Iwanted to help my dad out and I
(23:59):
wanted to try to give my mom abath last week.
Never, ever again.
It was the most horrificexperience ever.
I thought we were both going todie because, you know, when
people get in this late stage ofthe Alzheimer's disease, I mean
they can help with absolutelynothing.
(24:21):
So my mom is still very, verystrong, even though she looks to
be skin and bones, and so it'slike dead weight plus stiff
weight, if that makes sense, andit's just, it's really, really
hard.
So you know, honestly, if youwant the truth, my prayer for
the start of this year has beenLord, please take my mom home.
(24:44):
Please, you know, end thesuffering here.
And I, you know, sooner thanlater, it's so, so hard, and I
was talking about sooner thanlater.
It's so, so hard, and I wastalking about this with my
counselor, and you know this iswhat she said, that she's
praying the same Unless there'ssomething special that our
family can only get through.
With mom staying here, our hopeand prayer is that God takes
(25:07):
her home soon.
This isn't living.
You know.
It breaks my heart either way,whether she's here or whether
she's gone.
But it's so unfair, it's soexhausting, it's so sad.
She is not a burden, but thisdisease is.
There's no financial help,there's just nothing you can do.
There's not like, oh okay, well, I can give this pill to her
(25:33):
and she's going to be okay forfour hours.
We'll have mom for four hours.
Do you know what I mean?
There's nothing, nothing youcan do, but let it break your
heart as you watch and just loveher through it.
So the only good thing aboutthis is it is truly the sweetest
thing that I wish everybody inthe world truly could see.
My four-year-old son has beensuch a bright light in all of
this.
The way that he loves my mom istruly, truly special the way he
(25:55):
cares for her.
He'll just climb up in bed withher and snuggle.
He'll make sure she has ablanket, that he turns the
lights on, that he's holding herhand.
He tells her little secrets andwhispers them in her ear.
And then he's like why doesn'tshe say anything?
You know that's the only.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Thing.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Boy would she love him so much.
They would be so ornerytogether.
If only we could turn back thehands of time.
So it's really been a brutallast couple of months for me,
just in watching my mom'sdecline and knowing that it's
just going to get worse.
It's like when you just whenyou think it can't, it does or
(26:39):
it will you know, it's truly,it's horrible.
I don't, I don't wish it onanybody, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this
.
There's just so Sorry thatyou're going through all of this
.
There's just so much pain inthe world right now and I'm
petrified for our country too.
You know our future right now.
Our show is not political.
We don't go there intentionally, but I will say this there's
(27:07):
just so much division anddissension that it is.
You know, it's really affecting, I think, everybody, and you
can't even go outside withoutbeing afraid anymore, and I
can't remember ever feeling likethis, except for maybe 9-11.
And it was a different kind offear, but it was fear
(27:32):
nonetheless.
And this is the same kind.
I'm feeling a fear.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I feel, and maybe feeling unsettled is fear.
I guess I don't know, but Ifeel such a sense of unsettled
personally, globally, if youwill, or I should say within the
States.
That's kind of the vibe that Iam getting and it can be really
(27:59):
scary sometimes and I shelter mykids from as much as I can, for
as long as I can, because thereare just some things that they
don't need to know.
But for me personally and thisis what we instill in our boys
we love people all across theboard races, genders, you name
it there is just so muchuneasiness out there, like I've
(28:21):
been saying, that it's hard toavoid and ignore, because I
don't watch mainstream media andnews at all because I don't
want to do that to my mentalhealth.
But at the same time I knowthat certain things going on
lately affect people that I loveand care about dearly.
We have always tried to justkeep things as normal for our
(28:42):
kids as possible, even goingback to the pandemic Sure, too
Same.
I truly believe that our peaceis worth protecting.
The older I get, the longer Ilive.
It really truly is.
And shutting out the world isokay sometimes, I mean sometimes
.
That's why a lot of the timeswhen I go on a trip or something
(29:02):
or I feel like I just need toget away, it's because I need to
shut everything out.
Either everything's just tooloud or too busy too much, and
it's just time to get away andblock it out.
I know that there are a lot ofus who are doing really hard and
hopeful work in terms ofhealing, and I also think,
(29:22):
though, there are far too manypeople who are not healed, and I
think that that's what leadspeople to destroying their lives
and others' lives, becausethey're either living in the
past, or they're living in fear,or they're living in anger, and
I read a quote the other daythat it didn't have any
attribution to it, so these arenot my words, but I think that
(29:43):
everyone should live by this,and it said that the next time
you see someone enjoyingsomething that isn't hurting
anyone that's not your cup oftea Instead of saying something
negative, train yourself tothink to yourself I'm glad
they're happy, and carry on withyour life.
Wouldn't it be so much easier,better, less toxic, less uneasy,
(30:07):
less fearful if we did that.
Why can't we do that?
Why can't we all do that?
That is how I try to live mylife is exactly that.
I will tell my kids, justbecause someone else is doing it
doesn't make it right.
Or I will tell them we're alldifferent so we may not agree
with it, but we can still lovesomeone without understanding,
or we can still be kind withoutunderstanding.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I have so many friends from every walk of life.
I love that.
I love to introduce so manydifferent cultures and
everything to my kids.
You know, I'm doing a socialstudies thing with my son
because I'm homeschooling himand we're doing this thing where
we do a passport and we travelall over the world and it is
(30:52):
really fun and we've been makingthe meals that we learn from
each of the countries and hejust loves every single one.
He just says, oh, I want to gothere, I want to visit there,
and that's what I want my kidsto just be welcoming to
everybody and I just kindness,right now is gone, it just is
(31:15):
gone.
One thing that someone wisetold me recently is how, when
there is so much division and somuch fear and anger that we
need to go in with informationand empowerment and this is so
wise because we are often ledwith so much misinformation
(31:36):
that's where relationships canbe divided and countries fail.
Honestly, we cannot bringpeople together with so much
fear and anger.
We just can't.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yeah, that's a tough one and I've been reading
recently about just trends inpublic relations and just things
like that.
What is the number one trend orhurdle, I would say that PR
people are facing?
And the number one hurdle itwas talking about is all of the
misinformation that is out thereand how frustrating people are
(32:12):
getting by the misinformation,and so I think it just speaks to
what you were talking about.
There's again, and it goes backto how I feel, I think there
are so many unhealed people thatit's causing such unease and
just this turmoil right now thathopefully hopefully it's just a
(32:35):
temporary thing right now, justbecause we've just switched
presidents recently, andhopefully things can start to
flatten out and become a littlemore peaceful.
But I don't pretend to have allthe answers.
I just agree that there'sdefinitely something that so
many are feeling and I reallyhope that we can come to a place
(32:59):
where we can agree to disagreeand we can still be friends or
we can still be kind and we canstill move forward, because that
is so, so, so important.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
I just I pray for that.
I just don't know.
You know it comes down tosafety.
I think we can't move forwardin anything.
I don't know if you had to takethe psychology class, but you
know basic one-on-one psychology, where you take, where you
learn about Maslow's hierarchyof needs, and it's like this
(33:31):
five-tiered system pyramid.
It is basically physiologicalsafety, love, belonging, esteem
and self-actualization and thisis basically saying that if we
don't have food, water andsafety, we can't move on up the
pyramid.
We just can't.
Right now I think and know thatI am stuck on safety and
(33:57):
surviving it and I don't likethis feeling.
I lived like this back in theday, you know, back when I was
making a lot of really baddecisions and lived in my trauma
a lot.
And right now that's what I'mkind of feeling and that I think
our country is kind of feelingthat right now too.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
And I would think that would be fair, even though
I hate that.
It's the feeling that a lot ofus have.
You know, you mentioned safety,and I'm sure that that's why
you feel like you want to justbe at home more lately.
I'm feeling that way too.
I've really spent the entiremonth of January not wanting to
do anything.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
You probably don't want to take your van anywhere,
huh.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yeah, honestly, yeah, I'm like I really hope it's
safe to drive.
I really wish I could havegotten a new one, because I
don't know why that sort ofthing like taints the way.
I think you know there'ssomething wrong with it.
So now there's just going toforever be something wrong with
it.
So I'm trying to work throughthat.
But the other thing is, I justhave felt such a strong safety
(35:00):
net at home and honestly I thinkmy kids have too, because there
have been opportunities that myoldest son in particular has
had to go places with friendsand their parents.
He's not wanted to do it, somuch so that the one friend
thought that did I do somethingto you?
And he said, no, I just want tobe at home.
(35:20):
And so I'm just now, actually,as we're talking this out,
putting that together because Iwas like, seriously, why don't
you want to go?
I really don't understand, butit was probably something he
couldn't articulate because hedidn't understand it himself.
He just knows that home is whereyou feel safe and you know what
?
I'm not so mad at that, becausethis should be the place where
they feel safest, and it iswhere I feel safest too.
(35:41):
I've been making myself go outin the month of January and it's
like sometimes I don't evenknow why, because if this is
really just where I want to beright now, then I should just
let myself be.
I'm not trying to become ahermit.
It's just a period of time or apoint in time that this is
where I feel most comfortable.
And, again, my peace is worthprotecting, and so is yours.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know why we fight, trying to
feel like we want to be home.
I don't see anything wrong withthat, I guess.
Why do I feel like there'ssomething wrong with that?
Speaker 1 (36:16):
That's a really good question.
I think for you it's becauseyou are always on the go, go, go
, go go.
I feel like you are more whereI'm the opposite.
I really do like being at homea lot Not that you don't like
being at home.
But you just went up and youwent to New York and I mean, yes
, I went to Florida, but thatwas really more of a
(36:38):
semi-planned thing, just kind oftalked about, I don't know.
I feel like you're so much moreable to go out and just push
through or do all these thingsand I'm much more like nah, I'd
rather be home, you know, youknow well, I want to be where
peace is, and right now I don'tfeel much peace out there and
(37:02):
when I normally travel You'resafe at home.
So I think the peace and thesafety are going hand in hand,
and that's why you're pickinghome.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Well, when we were in New York, you know it was scary
, I actually.
There were protests that weregoing around and things like
that right in the heart of TimesSquare.
And I'm not against protesting,but when you're with your kids
and everything is escalatedaround you and there were so
many people there, I mean I wasreally afraid there.
(37:35):
I mean I was really afraid.
So we would have normally beenout walking around and sitting
and enjoying Times Square andeverything, but we went back to
the hotel much earlier than wenormally did when there is
uncertainty, there's fear, youknow, and that's how I felt, and
I think that that's kind ofwhat we're feeling.
There's so much uncertaintygoing on in the world right now,
and I've seen it even with mykids.
(37:57):
They've been more aggressiveand acting out more often.
It's trying to figure out a wayto manage living in a world
where there is fear, anxiety andstruggle everywhere.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
And we are going to have that here, I know Well.
I think you hit the nail on thehead, because that's exactly
how I felt with our carsituation in Florida.
All do not know these people,trust these people.
I am so far from home and Ithink you've hit the nail on the
head, and so for me, I wouldsay what we did was we came back
to a place of safety, a placethat felt comfortable, home.
(38:48):
Then we were able to clear ourminds and figure out a good plan
by someone that we trust.
So that's how we were able tomove forward, and I feel like
that's how it will have to gofor some of the things that
we've been talking about heretoday Getting that trust back,
(39:11):
fighting through the fear andanxiety, getting that, getting
that trust back some way somehowso that you can move forward in
peace.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah, for me and it's coming back to center is trying
to find center again, trying tofind that balance, walking away
from the news, walking towardspeace.
But for me, right now, it'sabout balance.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah Well, balance is a good thing, because when we
feel balanced, I think that addsto feeling safe.
It adds to our peace.
So when we feel like we're outof balance, it's so important
that we figure out where is itcoming from and what can we do
to get ourselves more alignedagain.
Coming from and what can we doto get ourselves more aligned
(39:57):
again.
So for me, for example, I knowthat I need to start doing more
exercising again.
I did really well in Novemberand fell off track in December
and January, but starting topick it back up again, just
making myself go outside.
It helped that I had ourneighbor's daughter's dog for a
couple of days and that I had totake him for a walk and I
really loved all of that.
But one of the things I don'ttake out of my routine is my
(40:21):
restorative yoga, because thatpiece filled one hour every week
is so good for me.
My body benefits from that inways that I never would have
thought possible.
So I think it's important thatyou know, if you're feeling that
way, that you find something tohelp you get back to that
center.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, you know I surround myself with positivity.
I really try, and it is looking, seeking that positivity.
Getting back to innocence, Ithink that that's really
important.
You know, I'll just turn onDisney shows and some old half
hour stuff.
You know I love Lucy and thingslike that and we also we love
(41:04):
Mr Bean.
He's hilarious.
We'll just turn him on just toget a big family collective
laugh, you know.
But I mean, I think that that'sjust so important right now
I'll just sit and just want tolaugh and find that innocence
again.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
Well, laughter is an instant vacation.
I made a ceramic bowl that hasthat quote in the bottom of it.
I love that quote.
Yes, laughter is an instantvacation.
So it makes perfect sense to mewhy you need that and I need
that too, and I know you get itwith your kids and I get the
laughter with mine as well.
But I'll say, going back tothose shows that you watch,
(41:42):
probably either from yourchildhood or that are just
familiar, again, that comfortit's all about.
Well, what makes you feel likehome?
It's like what is that grilledcheese and tomato soup in your
life?
That's what you need.
That's what you need to find.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
You know, it's because I was watching the news
and I was just finding myselfwatching the LA fires and the
politics and everything that'sgoing on, and now the plane and
everything, and it's knowingwhen to walk away and turn that
Disney show on or just findanother kind of fun thing to do
that isn't so consuming in anegative way, and I don't know
(42:19):
why I keep watching it when mybody is telling me you know,
it's not good for you anymore,you need to walk away.
So I just want to go grab a cupof coffee and have some peace
and I just want to breathe it inand cultivate optimism.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's hard, though, because you have such a big
caring heart that you'rewatching that and you're glued
to it.
It's the same reason thatpeople watch, and myself
included.
If you watch the shows onserial killers and things like
that, of course everything in meis like I don't want to know, I
don't want to watch any of this.
But yet you're so intrigued,either because of well, you
(42:58):
don't understand in the case ofwhat I was just talking about or
when you're watching, it'sbecause your heart hurts so bad
for those people and you're likeI just can't imagine.
And I can't either.
I can't imagine losing my homeand everything in it.
It's not the things, it's thememories.
It would be like all my photoalbums.
I would totally miss that.
(43:19):
So awful and happening to thesepeople that are to most of us
strangers, and I don't mean thatin any mean way.
I just mean that, if yourbody's screaming at you and
(43:42):
there's nothing you can do, youcould say a prayer for them, and
then you know that you can befilled with gratitude for
everything that you have andkind of take a break from that,
because sometimes that heavystuff really, really weighs on
you.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah, you know.
Our society in general hasgotten so far off the path.
Do you think that we will everbe able to have a respectful
conversation with people whodisagree?
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Well, oh boy, that is such a heavy question.
I want to say I am capable ofit, but I don't think many
people are.
I feel like as soon as youdisagree with someone, people
automatically think you hatethem, and that is not the case.
So I think that that'ssomething that people need to
(44:33):
get over.
Just because I don't agree withyou doesn't mean I hate you.
I simply don't agree.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, it would be great to be able to be around
people and all have differingopinions.
I mean, I remember being ableto be like that, you know, but
not now.
So how can we strengthenconnections in such divided
times?
I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I don't know if I have an answer to that either.
I guess I would say I trulythink it could start with the
quote that we talked aboutearlier, and I'm going to jump
up here and get back to it,because I think it's that
important the next time you seesomeone enjoying something that
isn't hurting anyone and that'snot your cup of tea, instead of
(45:26):
saying something negative, trainyourself to think to yourself
I'm glad they're happy and carryon with your life.
I really think it could startthere.
Not saying it will or it should.
I just think that's a goodstarting point is flipping the
switch in our brain to whatmaybe we would have thought, to
a new way of thinking.
I don't know.
(45:46):
Just a thought, because that'sa hard question.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, these are very tough ones to answer.
You know, practicing kindness,how about that?
Just random acts of kindness?
There's the yeah, that's one ofmy favorites.
There's this TikTok barista,and I don't even know why.
It's kind of like, you know,I'm into the housewives.
It's kind of like this weirdthing that I got into where
(46:12):
every now and then, when I'mcleaning or whatever, I turn
certain people on on TikTok andI watch their lives and they
really speak to me.
And this one barista, she is socool because she just has the
best positive energy and she hassuch great things to say to
everybody.
(46:33):
And when there is somebody thatshe might not agree with, she
just says, oh well, tell me moreabout that, or I can appreciate
that, you know, and I just lovethat about her.
And then she genuinely wants toknow more about them.
And why do you feel this way?
Why do you believe this way?
(46:53):
And in no way does even heropinion that might be different
come across like they're wrong.
She's just wanting to get toknow them and that's just such a
beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
You know.
I think that that might beanother healing part of this.
And how to answer the question,how to strengthen connections
in divided times.
Listen, practice being a reallygood listener, and I'm talking
literally listening withouttrying to come up with a
response, but just listening.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Yeah, yeah, she does.
I mean there's times I and hername is their caffeination
station.
By the way, on TikTok I'm goingto shout her out because I'm so
in love with who she is as ahuman being and I really think
that we could all learn from her.
I really do, because there'snot enough of that going around.
(47:50):
We need to demonstrate patience, respect and integrity and
avoid contributing to negativity.
I have been in a situation inmy life where keeping my mouth
shut was the only way to go.
There was so much more I couldhave said, but I really did
(48:12):
decide to take the high road.
I had a boss that we wereabsolutely going in different
directions in our philosophiesin life and you know she was
very aggressive, wanted to haveverbal arguments, so I decided
to just leave the job.
I also decided to keep my mouthshut and, you know, just move
(48:33):
on.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
I didn't want to escalate you know, but that's a
sign of maturity, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
Oh yeah.
So if we keep pouring gas oneven a small disagreement, it
will eventually erupt whensomething is burnt.
There is just no coming backfrom that.
You can't keep trying to watera dead tree.
It's just not coming back.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Yeah, you are so right about that and I've
learned that a few times overthe last year.
And you know what, if there arepeople who want to keep their
distance from me, please andthank you is how I feel about it
now, because my track recordspeaks for itself, kind of like
what you were saying.
You know I have integrity, Iknow who I am and I'm okay if
(49:22):
you don't want to be on my side.
But my hope is that for thosewho aren't, is that there can
still be civility, that we canjust cheer our kids at least you
know families in life and nothope for bad things.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Yeah, I've learned to focus on what I can control,
because there is so much outthere that's out of my control,
not people's actions and some ofthat could be within my own
four walls.
You know, I have to just learnto focus on what I can control,
learn when to let go and letthem.
(49:58):
That's a big saying for me Letgo and let them.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Yes, that's a book that should be coming to my
mailbox in the next day or two.
It's the Let them Theory by MelRobbins.
I'm so excited to read thatbook because let them, it's so,
so, so powerful.
I think that we will be postingsome things.
I actually have some greatthings to say about that.
Just that my counselor sent meon that book, which is why I
(50:24):
ordered it.
I'm also reading I Want toTrust you, but I Don't, by Lisa
Turkis, and boy is that onespeaking to my heart too.
So I think that we can use ourFacebook page to post some
excerpts from those two books,because they're super great and
they go along with what we'resaying.
But yeah, let them, it's reallyhard.
Don't let me make you think, oh, it's super easy.
No, it's very, very hard.
(50:50):
But here's what I'll tell you Ithink that we are strong and we
can do it.
Let them we know who we are.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
I mean, why not?
Why not?
Speaker 1 (51:00):
Yeah, you can't control that.
You know how other people viewyou, but you absolutely can
control your joy, your happinessand what you're going to allow
in and if it's not light, ifit's darkness, keep it out.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
You know, I read something once to use your
compass as your guide.
There you go.
I mean, it couldn't be moretrue Hone in on what you believe
, what you need, what peacemeans to you.
Set boundaries to protect yourpeace.
No one to walk away, no one toinvite constructive
(51:33):
conversations.
But when there can't be aconstructive conversation, I
pray.
You know I walk around so manytimes during my day just having
conversations.
My son the other day he's likewho are you talking to?
I mean, I'm serious, I willhave out loud conversations with
God.
He is my counselor.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
I think that's wonderful.
There's a lot.
My brain never stops, sothere's a lot of communication
going on in my brain.
One of the things I think we'vetalked about before is and I
haven't done this religiously,so don't think that, oh my gosh,
how do you do it?
But I do keep a gratitudejournal and I should do it more,
just because for everydayreasons.
(52:17):
But typically I'll turn to thatwhen I really feel myself sort
of spiraling out and boy, itreally does pick you up.
It's kind of like a hot airballoon.
It picks you back up off theground and raises you up.
It's such a powerful tool,Gratitude.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
It really changes everything back to having
(52:51):
disagreements that don't have tolead to animosity.
I mean, it would just changeeverything, I think, in the
heaviness that I think I'mconstantly feeling right now, I
really just want to get awayfrom that.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, I agree Again.
Just because I disagree withyou or because you disagree with
me, it doesn't mean we have toor that we do hate each other.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
Yeah, you know, I just want to be neutral
sometimes, right, right, noteverything has to generate an
emotion, true.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Yeah, that's so true I want to live in the neutral
zone.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
I married a man like that.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
One of the things that people say about me and I'm
kind of proud of this, becauseI really don't brag about myself
very often, but I really dobelieve this about myself is
that I am a genuine cheerleaderfor people and their successes
and I am not one to normally getjealous, and I love telling
(53:53):
people that I am so proud of youand help them get wherever it
is you know in life, and Ireally do think that we need
more of that.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
I agree and I attest to that you are.
You are probably one of thefirst friends, a female friend,
who showed me what you justdescribed about yourself.
I remember when we werecovering a capital murder case
together and I was asked to dothis national news coverage of
(54:23):
it and I'm like, why did theypick me?
I'm so nervous.
And you came with me and youwere not at all jealous, you
were feeding me information.
You were right there by my side, my biggest cheerleader.
I absolutely love that aboutyou.
It is so, so, so true.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
And I've told you all along for the last 16 years I
think now, or whatever it isthat I will always be one of
your biggest cheerleaders.
I mean, I really feel that foryou.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
So I just I adore that about you and I thank you
so much.
It's it's so wonderful to havea real cheerleader on your side,
not someone who's using you orbeing fake you know anything for
their advantage.
You're genuinely happy, as I am, for you, too, and your
accomplishments.
I always say this podcast isyou.
You are genuinely happy, as Iam, for you, too, and your
accomplishments.
I always say this podcast isyou.
You are the one that keeps thisthing going.
(55:12):
You do not even need me, butyet you still want me here, and
so I am absolutely honored.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
Well, we are Real Talk with Tina and Ann, and
that's the way it is, so, but Imean just, you know, not to have
an agenda.
Isn't that a great thing, justto be friends for each other and
not have an agenda?
Speaker 1 (55:35):
And know that friends are going to make mistakes.
None of us are perfect butlet's just talk it out and then
let's get over it and move on.
I mean, I think that's such animportant other aspect to any
relationship too, and whateverhappened to empathy.
I have a lot of it.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
I think that we've lost it.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
I think a lot of people have yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
Yeah, people just aren't genuinely caring for
other people in a way that theycan put themselves in other
people's shoes and reallyunderstand who they are.
It's just, it's completely gone.
And here's a question Can wethrive with division?
Can we find peace in chaos?
Speaker 1 (56:17):
I don't think so Well , I thrive in division, gosh, I,
you know.
I think that's going to be aperson-by-person basis.
If you take that in theconnotation of the sports world.
Yes, I think that you canthrive as an athlete in the
(56:38):
world right now.
I want to say kindness willprevail, that it will all be
okay.
But I just don't know.
I want the division to.
(56:59):
You know, sometimes when there'sa major event, say, for example
, okay, the California wildfirespeople come together and I know
that's not really a divisivething, but it is beautiful to
see people come together andhelp in the rebuilding process
from them standing up for whatis right, so that it really
helps give a certain group orjust a single person, whatever.
(57:33):
It is just that I don't evenknow what the word I'm looking
for is, not comfort, but I guessjust the clarity that, okay, I
do matter and it does matter andthank you for standing up for
what's right, because even if wedisagree, we can still stand
together, just because no oneshould be treated this way.
Or you know, whatever thesituation is, I'd like to say I
(57:55):
hope so.
And when it comes to findingpeace in the chaos, for me that
is absolutely when, if it getstoo chaotic, I will pull back
and find ways to get my peaceback.
But again, that's a veryindividual thing, yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:11):
Even the smallest of ripples can bring about positive
change.
And you know, I've watched eventhe smallest ripples of
negative bring about a negativechange.
So I mean, it doesn't take muchto change course and go in a
different direction.
So let's find hope and engagein love and find neutrality Is
(58:36):
that a word?
It is Okay.
Let's find it and come inground and live in empathy I
think that that would be andcheer each other on.
I mean just, you know, be therefor each other, strengthen
connections in our timesAbsolutely, and then forgive,
(58:59):
forgive.
Be respectful.
That's a big one.
Oh, that's a big one.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Yeah, Forgive, be respectful and you can always
choose kindness, Always.
We're going to put that quoteup on our Facebook page for Real
Talk with Tina and Anne, theone we've mentioned a couple
times in here about even if youdon't see eye to eye, you can
still cheer someone on Amensister friend.
Well, thank you all so much forjoining us today on this
(59:23):
edition of Real Talk with Tinaand Anne.
We look forward to seeing younext week.
Yay, yay.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
It turned out better than I thought.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
It turned out really good.
It turned out really good whenI was reading it over before we
went on air earlier this morning.
I was laughing about your pie.
I was laughing so hard.
I was like oh, poor Ant.
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