May 28, 2024 • 30 mins
Have you ever wondered if being an empath means you're doomed to absorb others' emotions like a sponge? In the season two finale of the Realized Empath Podcast, we challenge that notion. We redefine empathic sensitivity as a unique ability to keenly observe and interpret emotional cues, allowing you to see this trait as a strength rather than a burden.
Learn how regular self-check-ins and setting healthy boundaries can help empaths maintain emotional balance and prevent burnout. This episode offers a fresh perspective, transforming what it means to be empathetic in a highly sensitive world.
This enlightening finale also tackles the challenges empaths face, such as hyper-focusing on others' emotions and the toll of hypervigilance rooted in past trauma. Discover practical strategies for managing these tendencies, including setting clear intentions, practicing self-awareness, and engaging in self-care.
We delve into grounding techniques and trauma-focused therapies like EMDR, which can bring you back to the present moment, alleviate anxiety, and foster healing. Tune in to learn how to balance compassion and support with personal emotional health, ensuring you remain resilient and well.
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Don't forget to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @RealizedEmpath for daily inspiration and empath hacks. Until next time, stay sensitive and strong! ✌️💕"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Realized
Empath Podcast.
I'm Kristen and I wanted toshare really quick that today is
going to be the last episode ofseason two.
I am going to take probablyfour or five weeks off to enjoy
summer vacation with my family,so I just wanted to let you know
(00:45):
up front, but I look forward tocoming back and having more
episodes at the end of thesummer.
So I have a question for youhave you ever felt like you're
just soaking up the emotions ofeveryone around you?
So today's episode mightbeautifully shift your
perspective about believing thatyou just unwillingly absorb the
(01:10):
emotions of others.
Sometimes, what feels likeabsorbing energy might actually
be something entirely different.
So join me today as we explorethis thought-provoking topic,
and I'm hoping that at the endof today's episode you will feel
more seen, understood and havemore compassion towards yourself
(01:32):
.
Have you ever stopped to wonderwhat you've been interpreting
as absorbing energy from otherscould actually be something else
entirely?
What if this sensation is moreabout your deep connection to
the world, a reflection of yourprofound emotional understanding
(01:53):
, rather than a mere receptivityto external energies?
Today I'm not here to teach you, but I want to share and I want
to reflect together.
What we're going to do is we'llexplore the idea that perhaps
our intense emotionalexperiences are not about
absorbing others, but how deeplywe process and respond to the
(02:15):
world around us.
This isn't just aboutunderstanding.
It's about redefining ourexperiences and fostering a kind
of self-compassion thatenriches our lives.
As we peel back the layers ofwhat we've been taking for
granted about our empathicnature, we may discover new
(02:35):
pathways to understanding ourfeelings and reactions.
So let's take this journeytogether with open hearts and
minds ready to support eachother in our shared quest for
deeper self-knowledge and mutualempathy.
So let's begin thisconversation by asking ourselves
what, if it's not about theenergy we absorb, but how we
(02:57):
engage with our emotions andthose around us.
Let's explore thesepossibilities and perhaps find
comfort in our sharedexperiences and insights.
In this first segment, let'sdive into a concept I like to
call emotional osmosis.
It's a term that might conjureimages of us absorbing
(03:17):
everything around us like asponge, but the reality is
different.
Humans don't possess someenergy-sucking superpower.
We're not walking aroundpulling in emotions from
everyone we pass.
Instead, we are emotionalobservers and empathetic
interpreters.
Think of it this way when we'rein a room full of people, it's
(03:39):
not that we're absorbingemotions as much as we're
noticing and interpreting them.
Absorbing emotions as much aswe're noticing and interpreting
them, our empathic abilitiesallow us to detect subtleties in
body language, tone of voiceand facial expressions.
It's like we're seeing, we'renoticing cues that others might
miss.
This sensitivity can make itfeel like we're absorbing
(04:00):
emotions, but what we're doingis reading the situation deeply
and empathetically.
For example, if someone triesto hide their sadness with a
smile, they might accept it atface value.
But when you're highlysensitive and an empath, we're
going to likely notice a slighttremor in the voice or sadness
(04:22):
in the eyes.
It's not that we have taken ontheir sadness, but instead we
recognized and were interpretingthe deeper emotional truth that
others might overlook.
Sure, this ability can seemmagical or even powerful, but it
can also be misinterpreted byus.
We might feel overwhelmed oremotionally loaded, not because
(04:47):
we absorb these emotions, butbecause we are highly attuned to
them.
So it's important to know thedifference between being
sensitive to emotional climatesfrom the misconception that we
are passive recipients, right,that we're helplessly soaking up
feelings from others that wedon't want.
So how can we navigate thisaspect of our sensitivity
(05:11):
without feeling overwhelmed?
The first step is awareness.
So you wanna recognize thatyour experience is more about
perception and less aboutinvoluntary absorption.
And by framing your ability asa skill of interpretation rather
than a burden of absorption,you can begin to see it as a
(05:32):
strength that you can manage anddirect, rather than a
vulnerability that controls you.
Moving on to the next segment,let's address a common challenge
many empaths face, and that'shyper-focusing on others.
This is when you find yourselfso tuned into how others feel
(05:55):
that you completely sidelineyour emotions.
It's like setting your feelingson a shelf while you immerse
yourself in the emotional worldsof those around you.
Why do we do this?
Well, for many empaths,focusing on others is sometimes
easier than dealing with our owncomplex emotions.
(06:17):
A deep-seated part of us alsofeels a strong pull to help and
heal and understand others, andthis can take an expense, or
have an expense, on ouremotional well-being.
It can create a significantimbalance, not only internally
but also in our relationships.
(06:38):
When we neglect our feelings,they don't just disappear, they
build up and they collectinterest, and then they'll often
emerge later as stress,resentment or burnout.
Imagine if you will.
You're at a gathering where afriend is upset about a recent
(07:00):
breakup, you might spend thewhole evening trying to comfort
them, tune it into every nuanceof their distress.
So sure this is compassionateif you're also dealing with your
issues.
Maybe you have relationalstress or personal losses, but
you don't address them.
So what you're doing is you'resetting yourself up for
(07:20):
emotional overload.
So to start shifting thispattern, what's helpful is
developing a habit of emotionalchecking in with yourself.
So this can be as simple astaking moments throughout the
day to ask yourself how am Ifeeling right now or what do I
need in this moment?
When we regularly check in andtune into our emotions, we give
(07:42):
them the same attention and carethat we often are offering
others.
Additionally, settingboundaries is crucial.
It's okay to be there forsomeone, but also to say I need
a moment for myself, or I'm herefor you, but I also need to
take care of my feelings.
This helps sideline and preventemotional fatigue, and what it
(08:07):
does is it models healthyemotional habits for those
around you.
When we acknowledge and addressour emotions, we can maintain
our emotional health and remainempathetic towards others
without sacrificing yourwell-being.
It's about finding thatdelicate balance where you can
be compassionate withoutbecoming emotionally depleted.
(08:32):
Okay, so let's talk aboutanother challenge that empaths
often encounter, which isover-engaging in conversations.
So many empaths become deeplyimmersed in discussions,
especially about emotional orpersonal topics.
When we become intenselyengaged, it's usually driven by
our desire to connect andunderstand, but also provide
(08:56):
support.
When we do this, a lot of timeswe don't create the necessary
space for ourselves, and thenthis can lead to emotional
exhaustion and sometimes a lossof personal identity.
I want you to think about whenyou've been part of a deep
emotional conversation.
Think about the last time youwere a part of that type of
conversation.
(09:16):
Maybe someone was sharing theirstruggles or seeking advice.
It's almost second nature forempaths to dive really deep and
fully and listen intently,empathizing profoundly and
offering thoughtful responses.
Sure, these are beautifultraits, but continuously being
(09:37):
engaged without stepping backcan drain your emotional
reserves.
Empaths need to recognize thatwhen they are giving too much in
a conversation, it can bedetrimental.
One sign is feeling drained ordepleted instead of being
uplifted or fulfilled by yourinteractions.
(09:58):
This is a cue that you needmore emotional space for
yourself.
So to manage this tendency, Iwant you to practice the pause
and reflect technique Before yourespond to a conversation.
I want you to just take a pauseand check in with yourself, ask
am I taking on too much rightnow, or do I have the emotional
(10:21):
capacity to actually engage atthis level?
This small pause can help yougauge your current state and
decide how much of yourself youcan actually afford to invest in
the conversation.
So learning to interject andsteer conversations towards less
(10:43):
emotionally taxing topics canhelp you maintain your energy
levels.
If you feel overwhelmed, youcan acknowledge the other
person's feelings and thengently shift the dialogue to a
lighter, more neutral topic.
Lastly, it's okay to excuseyourself if a conversation
(11:03):
becomes too intense.
You can politely say like Ineed a moment to gather my
thoughts, or can we continuethis discussion a bit later?
And what this does is it allowsyou to regain your emotional
equilibrium.
Creating space for yourselfwithin conversations isn't just
about self-preservation.
It's about engaging in ahealthier, more balanced way
(11:27):
that respects your needs andthose of others.
So this approach sustains youremotional well-being and
improves the quality of yourinteractions, and that makes
them more rewarding for everyoneinvolved.
Okay, let's explore a commonexperience among empaths, and
that's emotional resonance.
(11:48):
This is when you feel a deepconnection with someone else's
emotions, almost as if they'reyour own.
This ability to resonateclosely with others can be a
powerful tool for buildingempathy and understanding, but
it can also lead to anoverwhelming blurring of
(12:08):
emotional boundaries withoutcareful navigation.
Emotional resonance happensbecause empaths have this finely
tuned emotional system and wecan pick up on the subtle
signals and emotional states ofothers, whether it's joy or
sorrow, anxiety or excitement.
You might find yourself notjust understanding but
(12:30):
experiencing these emotionsalongside the person that's
feeling them.
This profound connection thathappens makes empaths
exceptional friends, partnersand caregivers.
And yes, the challenge comes inmaintaining your emotional
autonomy.
It's really important toremember that while you can feel
(12:50):
deeply with someone, theiremotions do not have to become
yours.
Keeping this distinction clearis key to effectively managing
your empathic abilities.
So to practice this, you canuse emotional anchoring.
So to practice this, you canuse emotional anchoring, and
this involves grounding yourselfin your emotional center before
(13:11):
and after intense interactions.
So techniques like mindfulbreathing or visualization or
just simple affirmations canreinforce your emotional
boundaries.
For instance, let's say, aftera deep conversation, you may be
feeling those intense body andmind reactions from someone's
(13:35):
emotional interaction with you.
So you might want to visualizelike a protective shield around
your emotional core or affirm toyourself.
I can empathize without takingon these emotions as my own and
also developing the habit ofregular emotional check-ins,
like I said before.
(13:55):
So you can ask yourself am Ifeeling my emotions or someone
else's?
And what this question can helpyou with is identify when
you're beginning to resonate tooclosely and take steps to
recalibrate.
And lastly, sharing yourexperiences with other empaths
can provide great insights andstrategies for managing similar
(14:17):
situations, and this gives youmore practical tools and then
reinforces that you're not alonein your experiences then
reinforces that you're not alonein your experiences.
Emotional resonance is a giftand it allows us to connect with
others on a deep, intimatelevel, and when you manage this
wisely, you can enjoy thebenefits of deep emotional
(14:39):
connections without sufferingfrom emotional overload.
In this next segment, I want toaddress a critical issue that
many empaths and highlysensitive people encounter, and
that's a lack of clear emotionalboundaries.
Without these boundaries, it'stoo easy for us to blur the
(14:59):
lines between our emotions andemotions of others, and this
leads to confusion, exhaustionand a diminished sense of self.
And why is because we may startto feel as though we're living
through the emotions of othersrather than experiencing our own
life.
So setting clear emotionalboundaries is not about shutting
(15:23):
people out.
It's not building walls.
It's about protecting youremotional well-being.
Empaths have to recognize thatthey have an end and the other
person has a start right.
So where do you end?
Where does the other personbegin?
That clarity allows you toempathize and be compassionate
(15:43):
while maintaining your emotionalhealth and identity.
One practical way to startsetting boundaries is by
practicing assertivecommunication.
So when you feel overwhelmed orsense that someone is imposing
their emotional state onto you,I want you to express your needs
.
It's a beautiful thing to beable to express your needs.
For example, you might say youknow, I understand you're going
(16:06):
through a tough time and I'mhere for you, but I need to take
a break to care for myemotional needs right now.
Another effective strategy isthe physical space technique.
So sometimes taking a literalstep back during intense
emotional interactions can helpreinforce your emotional
boundaries.
This can be a subtle cue toyourself and to others that
(16:29):
while you are empathetic, you'realso protecting your emotional
space.
Visualization can also be apowerful tool for setting
emotional boundaries.
Imagine a clear shield aroundyou that protects you from
taking on the emotions of others.
Visualize that shield porousenough to allow empathy and
(16:50):
understanding to pass through,but strong enough to block out
overwhelming emotions.
Another way is regularself-reflection, and this can
help you understand what youremotional triggers are and then
recognize when your boundariesare being tested.
Journaling about your dailyemotional experience can be
(17:10):
really insightful, and itenables you to identify those
patterns and situations whereyour boundaries need
strengthening.
I want you to remember thatsetting boundaries is not
selfish.
Protecting your emotionalwellbeing allows you to be more
present and supportive.
It's about balancing yourability to be compassionate with
(17:30):
others and taking care ofyourself.
By being proactive aboutsetting and maintaining these
boundaries, you can distinguishmore clearly between your
emotions and those of others,and that prevents the emotional
fatigue and enhances youroverall emotional resilience.
All right, so this next segmentexplores a common trait that
(17:54):
many empaths have, and that isthe fixer mentality.
It's that instinctive desire tosolve or alleviate the problems
of others.
Sure, this can make empathsseem like exceptional caregivers
and friends, and also leadsthem to take on other struggles
(18:15):
as their own, and this can beemotionally draining and it
sometimes distracts us fromaddressing our own needs and
challenges.
I do believe that empaths andhighly sensitive people are
naturally drawn to help others,and there's this feeling of a
deep sense of fulfillment andpurpose and being able to make a
difference.
A deep sense of fulfillment andpurpose and being able to make
a difference and the boundarybetween helping and
(18:38):
over-involvement can sometimesbecome blurred.
It's important to recognizewhen the desire to help is
serving others and when it mightbe crossing into taking on
their emotional or even physicalburdens.
To address the fixer mentality,ask yourself a few questions
before jumping intoproblem-solving mode.
Is this my responsibility?
(18:59):
Am I the right person to helpwith this?
What is the cost to myemotional well-being?
And then I want you to reflecton these questions, and it can
help you assess whether yourinvolvement is healthy and
appropriate or it might lead tounnecessary stress.
One practical approach tomanaging this tendency is to
(19:23):
offer support in ways thatempower rather than enable.
Instead of taking charge of asituation, you might guide
someone into finding theirsolutions.
So this could involvesuggesting resources, discussing
options or even listeningactively without immediately
offering those solutions, and Iwant you to set clear intentions
(19:46):
for interactions which can alsobe really helpful.
I want you to remember yourrole and your limitations before
entering into potentiallyemotionally charged
conversations.
For instance, you might decidebeforehand that your goal is to
listen and understand and not tosolve the problem.
This mental preparation canactually help your interactions
(20:08):
maintain healthy boundaries.
Another effective strategy is topractice self-awareness and
self-care, so, regularlyengaging in activities that
replenish your energy and giveyou joy, help you to maintain
your emotional reserves, andthis then ensures that when you
choose to help others, you comefrom a place of strength, not a
(20:30):
depleted state.
And lastly, learning to acceptthat not all problems can or
need to be fixed by you iscrucial.
Sometimes, the best way to helpis to offer compassion and
empathy, allowing others toexperience their growth and
learn from their challenges.
This reduces your emotionalburden and respects the autonomy
(20:53):
and the resilience of those youcare about.
So, by consciously addressingthat fixer mentality will allow
you to continue to becompassionate and supportive
without compromising youremotional health.
It's about finding a balancethat allows you to be helpful
and stay healthy.
All right, be helpful and stayhealthy, all right.
(21:18):
So in our final segment today, Iwant to go into a less
discussed but very importantaspect that affects many empaths
and highly sensitive people,and that is hypervigilance.
Hypervigilance often stems froma trauma response, where we
become excessively alert orsensitive to our surroundings
(21:39):
and to the emotions of others.
This can sometimes serve as aprotective mechanism, but it's
frequently rooted in past traumaand it leads people to
hyper-focus on others as a wayto preemptively identify and
then mitigate potential threatsor trauma.
Think about it it's like ourbrains are rewired after trauma
(22:01):
to then obsessively scan ourenvironment, looking for signs
that we may experience thattrauma again, and a lot of times
we'll see the threats whenthey're not there.
Hypervigilance is not abehavioral trait.
It has its roots in biologicalchanges within the brain,
(22:22):
particularly in areas like theamygdala, which is responsible
for processing emotions.
When trauma occurs, theamygdala becomes hyperactive.
It's always on the lookout fordanger, which can change the way
the brain processes information.
The heightened state ofalertness can lead to an
(22:42):
overproduction of stresshormones like cortisol and
adrenaline, and it keeps thebody in a constant fight or
flight mode.
This biological response isexhausting, and it often leads
to a state where you're sofocused on potential issues in
your external environment thatyou neglect your internal needs.
(23:02):
That underlying fear is that bymissing any signs, you might
expose yourself or others toharm.
So while this can make impassevery attentive and responsive,
it can also lead to significantanxiety and emotional fatigue.
The physical impact ofhypervigilance can be profound,
(23:25):
right Chronic, constant stressand anxiety, and it can lead to
issues like chronic fatigue,adrenal fatigue, adrenal
collapse, sleep disturbances andweakened immune function.
So, emotionally, the state canisolate you as the constant
strain of being on alert wearsdown your ability to engage in
(23:48):
relaxing and joyful activities.
So to address hypervigilance,the first step is recognizing it
as a response to past traumarather than a necessary or
healthy ongoing state.
Acknowledging that thisheightened state of alertness is
a reaction to past experiencesrather than a reflection of the
(24:12):
current reality, and realizingthat actually helps in the
beginning to let go of thesepatterns.
Sometimes there can be a lot ofshame attached to this
hypervigilance, maybe from howothers have responded to you
when you're hypervigilant, orjudgment.
So realizing that it truly wasyour brain trying to keep you
(24:37):
safe, right, that allows us tosoften a little bit and not have
so much judgment.
One effective method tomanaging hypervigilance is
through grounding techniques.
What this does is it can helpbring you back to the present
moment.
So techniques such as mindfulbreathing, which I talk about a
lot, focusing on sensoryexperiences like touch or sound,
(25:00):
or engaging in mindfulnessmeditation can help reduce the
feelings of anxiety and the needto constantly scan your
environment.
Additionally, trauma-focusedtherapies approaches like EMDR
can be extremely beneficial.
These therapeutic approacheshelp you understand the
organization.
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Realized
Empath Podcast.
I'm Kristen and I wanted toshare really quick that today is
going to be the last episode ofseason two.
I am going to take probablyfour or five weeks off to enjoy
summer vacation with my family,so I just wanted to let you know
(00:45):
up front, but I look forward tocoming back and having more
episodes at the end of thesummer.
So I have a question for youhave you ever felt like you're
just soaking up the emotions ofeveryone around you?
So today's episode mightbeautifully shift your
perspective about believing thatyou just unwillingly absorb the
(01:10):
emotions of others.
Sometimes, what feels likeabsorbing energy might actually
be something entirely different.
So join me today as we explorethis thought-provoking topic,
and I'm hoping that at the endof today's episode you will feel
more seen, understood and havemore compassion towards yourself
(01:32):
.
Have you ever stopped to wonderwhat you've been interpreting
as absorbing energy from otherscould actually be something else
entirely?
What if this sensation is moreabout your deep connection to
the world, a reflection of yourprofound emotional understanding
(01:53):
, rather than a mere receptivityto external energies?
Today I'm not here to teach you, but I want to share and I want
to reflect together.
What we're going to do is we'llexplore the idea that perhaps
our intense emotionalexperiences are not about
absorbing others, but how deeplywe process and respond to the
(02:15):
world around us.
This isn't just aboutunderstanding.
It's about redefining ourexperiences and fostering a kind
of self-compassion thatenriches our lives.
As we peel back the layers ofwhat we've been taking for
granted about our empathicnature, we may discover new
(02:35):
pathways to understanding ourfeelings and reactions.
So let's take this journeytogether with open hearts and
minds ready to support eachother in our shared quest for
deeper self-knowledge and mutualempathy.
So let's begin thisconversation by asking ourselves
what, if it's not about theenergy we absorb, but how we
(02:57):
engage with our emotions andthose around us.
Let's explore thesepossibilities and perhaps find
comfort in our sharedexperiences and insights.
In this first segment, let'sdive into a concept I like to
call emotional osmosis.
It's a term that might conjureimages of us absorbing
(03:17):
everything around us like asponge, but the reality is
different.
Humans don't possess someenergy-sucking superpower.
We're not walking aroundpulling in emotions from
everyone we pass.
Instead, we are emotionalobservers and empathetic
interpreters.
Think of it this way when we'rein a room full of people, it's
(03:39):
not that we're absorbingemotions as much as we're
noticing and interpreting them.
Absorbing emotions as much aswe're noticing and interpreting
them, our empathic abilitiesallow us to detect subtleties in
body language, tone of voiceand facial expressions.
It's like we're seeing, we'renoticing cues that others might
miss.
This sensitivity can make itfeel like we're absorbing
(04:00):
emotions, but what we're doingis reading the situation deeply
and empathetically.
For example, if someone triesto hide their sadness with a
smile, they might accept it atface value.
But when you're highlysensitive and an empath, we're
going to likely notice a slighttremor in the voice or sadness
(04:22):
in the eyes.
It's not that we have taken ontheir sadness, but instead we
recognized and were interpretingthe deeper emotional truth that
others might overlook.
Sure, this ability can seemmagical or even powerful, but it
can also be misinterpreted byus.
We might feel overwhelmed oremotionally loaded, not because
(04:47):
we absorb these emotions, butbecause we are highly attuned to
them.
So it's important to know thedifference between being
sensitive to emotional climatesfrom the misconception that we
are passive recipients, right,that we're helplessly soaking up
feelings from others that wedon't want.
So how can we navigate thisaspect of our sensitivity
(05:11):
without feeling overwhelmed?
The first step is awareness.
So you wanna recognize thatyour experience is more about
perception and less aboutinvoluntary absorption.
And by framing your ability asa skill of interpretation rather
than a burden of absorption,you can begin to see it as a
(05:32):
strength that you can manage anddirect, rather than a
vulnerability that controls you.
Moving on to the next segment,let's address a common challenge
many empaths face, and that'shyper-focusing on others.
This is when you find yourselfso tuned into how others feel
(05:55):
that you completely sidelineyour emotions.
It's like setting your feelingson a shelf while you immerse
yourself in the emotional worldsof those around you.
Why do we do this?
Well, for many empaths,focusing on others is sometimes
easier than dealing with our owncomplex emotions.
(06:17):
A deep-seated part of us alsofeels a strong pull to help and
heal and understand others, andthis can take an expense, or
have an expense, on ouremotional well-being.
It can create a significantimbalance, not only internally
but also in our relationships.
(06:38):
When we neglect our feelings,they don't just disappear, they
build up and they collectinterest, and then they'll often
emerge later as stress,resentment or burnout.
Imagine if you will.
You're at a gathering where afriend is upset about a recent
(07:00):
breakup, you might spend thewhole evening trying to comfort
them, tune it into every nuanceof their distress.
So sure this is compassionateif you're also dealing with your
issues.
Maybe you have relationalstress or personal losses, but
you don't address them.
So what you're doing is you'resetting yourself up for
(07:20):
emotional overload.
So to start shifting thispattern, what's helpful is
developing a habit of emotionalchecking in with yourself.
So this can be as simple astaking moments throughout the
day to ask yourself how am Ifeeling right now or what do I
need in this moment?
When we regularly check in andtune into our emotions, we give
(07:42):
them the same attention and carethat we often are offering
others.
Additionally, settingboundaries is crucial.
It's okay to be there forsomeone, but also to say I need
a moment for myself, or I'm herefor you, but I also need to
take care of my feelings.
This helps sideline and preventemotional fatigue, and what it
(08:07):
does is it models healthyemotional habits for those
around you.
When we acknowledge and addressour emotions, we can maintain
our emotional health and remainempathetic towards others
without sacrificing yourwell-being.
It's about finding thatdelicate balance where you can
be compassionate withoutbecoming emotionally depleted.
(08:32):
Okay, so let's talk aboutanother challenge that empaths
often encounter, which isover-engaging in conversations.
So many empaths become deeplyimmersed in discussions,
especially about emotional orpersonal topics.
When we become intenselyengaged, it's usually driven by
our desire to connect andunderstand, but also provide
(08:56):
support.
When we do this, a lot of timeswe don't create the necessary
space for ourselves, and thenthis can lead to emotional
exhaustion and sometimes a lossof personal identity.
I want you to think about whenyou've been part of a deep
emotional conversation.
Think about the last time youwere a part of that type of
conversation.
(09:16):
Maybe someone was sharing theirstruggles or seeking advice.
It's almost second nature forempaths to dive really deep and
fully and listen intently,empathizing profoundly and
offering thoughtful responses.
Sure, these are beautifultraits, but continuously being
(09:37):
engaged without stepping backcan drain your emotional
reserves.
Empaths need to recognize thatwhen they are giving too much in
a conversation, it can bedetrimental.
One sign is feeling drained ordepleted instead of being
uplifted or fulfilled by yourinteractions.
(09:58):
This is a cue that you needmore emotional space for
yourself.
So to manage this tendency, Iwant you to practice the pause
and reflect technique Before yourespond to a conversation.
I want you to just take a pauseand check in with yourself, ask
am I taking on too much rightnow, or do I have the emotional
(10:21):
capacity to actually engage atthis level?
This small pause can help yougauge your current state and
decide how much of yourself youcan actually afford to invest in
the conversation.
So learning to interject andsteer conversations towards less
(10:43):
emotionally taxing topics canhelp you maintain your energy
levels.
If you feel overwhelmed, youcan acknowledge the other
person's feelings and thengently shift the dialogue to a
lighter, more neutral topic.
Lastly, it's okay to excuseyourself if a conversation
(11:03):
becomes too intense.
You can politely say like Ineed a moment to gather my
thoughts, or can we continuethis discussion a bit later?
And what this does is it allowsyou to regain your emotional
equilibrium.
Creating space for yourselfwithin conversations isn't just
about self-preservation.
It's about engaging in ahealthier, more balanced way
(11:27):
that respects your needs andthose of others.
So this approach sustains youremotional well-being and
improves the quality of yourinteractions, and that makes
them more rewarding for everyoneinvolved.
Okay, let's explore a commonexperience among empaths, and
that's emotional resonance.
(11:48):
This is when you feel a deepconnection with someone else's
emotions, almost as if they'reyour own.
This ability to resonateclosely with others can be a
powerful tool for buildingempathy and understanding, but
it can also lead to anoverwhelming blurring of
(12:08):
emotional boundaries withoutcareful navigation.
Emotional resonance happensbecause empaths have this finely
tuned emotional system and wecan pick up on the subtle
signals and emotional states ofothers, whether it's joy or
sorrow, anxiety or excitement.
You might find yourself notjust understanding but
(12:30):
experiencing these emotionsalongside the person that's
feeling them.
This profound connection thathappens makes empaths
exceptional friends, partnersand caregivers.
And yes, the challenge comes inmaintaining your emotional
autonomy.
It's really important toremember that while you can feel
(12:50):
deeply with someone, theiremotions do not have to become
yours.
Keeping this distinction clearis key to effectively managing
your empathic abilities.
So to practice this, you canuse emotional anchoring.
So to practice this, you canuse emotional anchoring, and
this involves grounding yourselfin your emotional center before
(13:11):
and after intense interactions.
So techniques like mindfulbreathing or visualization or
just simple affirmations canreinforce your emotional
boundaries.
For instance, let's say, aftera deep conversation, you may be
feeling those intense body andmind reactions from someone's
(13:35):
emotional interaction with you.
So you might want to visualizelike a protective shield around
your emotional core or affirm toyourself.
I can empathize without takingon these emotions as my own and
also developing the habit ofregular emotional check-ins,
like I said before.
(13:55):
So you can ask yourself am Ifeeling my emotions or someone
else's?
And what this question can helpyou with is identify when
you're beginning to resonate tooclosely and take steps to
recalibrate.
And lastly, sharing yourexperiences with other empaths
can provide great insights andstrategies for managing similar
(14:17):
situations, and this gives youmore practical tools and then
reinforces that you're not alonein your experiences then
reinforces that you're not alonein your experiences.
Emotional resonance is a giftand it allows us to connect with
others on a deep, intimatelevel, and when you manage this
wisely, you can enjoy thebenefits of deep emotional
(14:39):
connections without sufferingfrom emotional overload.
In this next segment, I want toaddress a critical issue that
many empaths and highlysensitive people encounter, and
that's a lack of clear emotionalboundaries.
Without these boundaries, it'stoo easy for us to blur the
(14:59):
lines between our emotions andemotions of others, and this
leads to confusion, exhaustionand a diminished sense of self.
And why is because we may startto feel as though we're living
through the emotions of othersrather than experiencing our own
life.
So setting clear emotionalboundaries is not about shutting
(15:23):
people out.
It's not building walls.
It's about protecting youremotional well-being.
Empaths have to recognize thatthey have an end and the other
person has a start right.
So where do you end?
Where does the other personbegin?
That clarity allows you toempathize and be compassionate
(15:43):
while maintaining your emotionalhealth and identity.
One practical way to startsetting boundaries is by
practicing assertivecommunication.
So when you feel overwhelmed orsense that someone is imposing
their emotional state onto you,I want you to express your needs
.
It's a beautiful thing to beable to express your needs.
For example, you might say youknow, I understand you're going
(16:06):
through a tough time and I'mhere for you, but I need to take
a break to care for myemotional needs right now.
Another effective strategy isthe physical space technique.
So sometimes taking a literalstep back during intense
emotional interactions can helpreinforce your emotional
boundaries.
This can be a subtle cue toyourself and to others that
(16:29):
while you are empathetic, you'realso protecting your emotional
space.
Visualization can also be apowerful tool for setting
emotional boundaries.
Imagine a clear shield aroundyou that protects you from
taking on the emotions of others.
Visualize that shield porousenough to allow empathy and
(16:50):
understanding to pass through,but strong enough to block out
overwhelming emotions.
Another way is regularself-reflection, and this can
help you understand what youremotional triggers are and then
recognize when your boundariesare being tested.
Journaling about your dailyemotional experience can be
(17:10):
really insightful, and itenables you to identify those
patterns and situations whereyour boundaries need
strengthening.
I want you to remember thatsetting boundaries is not
selfish.
Protecting your emotionalwellbeing allows you to be more
present and supportive.
It's about balancing yourability to be compassionate with
(17:30):
others and taking care ofyourself.
By being proactive aboutsetting and maintaining these
boundaries, you can distinguishmore clearly between your
emotions and those of others,and that prevents the emotional
fatigue and enhances youroverall emotional resilience.
All right, so this next segmentexplores a common trait that
(17:54):
many empaths have, and that isthe fixer mentality.
It's that instinctive desire tosolve or alleviate the problems
of others.
Sure, this can make empathsseem like exceptional caregivers
and friends, and also leadsthem to take on other struggles
(18:15):
as their own, and this can beemotionally draining and it
sometimes distracts us fromaddressing our own needs and
challenges.
I do believe that empaths andhighly sensitive people are
naturally drawn to help others,and there's this feeling of a
deep sense of fulfillment andpurpose and being able to make a
difference.
A deep sense of fulfillment andpurpose and being able to make
a difference and the boundarybetween helping and
(18:38):
over-involvement can sometimesbecome blurred.
It's important to recognizewhen the desire to help is
serving others and when it mightbe crossing into taking on
their emotional or even physicalburdens.
To address the fixer mentality,ask yourself a few questions
before jumping intoproblem-solving mode.
Is this my responsibility?
(18:59):
Am I the right person to helpwith this?
What is the cost to myemotional well-being?
And then I want you to reflecton these questions, and it can
help you assess whether yourinvolvement is healthy and
appropriate or it might lead tounnecessary stress.
One practical approach tomanaging this tendency is to
(19:23):
offer support in ways thatempower rather than enable.
Instead of taking charge of asituation, you might guide
someone into finding theirsolutions.
So this could involvesuggesting resources, discussing
options or even listeningactively without immediately
offering those solutions, and Iwant you to set clear intentions
(19:46):
for interactions which can alsobe really helpful.
I want you to remember yourrole and your limitations before
entering into potentiallyemotionally charged
conversations.
For instance, you might decidebeforehand that your goal is to
listen and understand and not tosolve the problem.
This mental preparation canactually help your interactions
(20:08):
maintain healthy boundaries.
Another effective strategy is topractice self-awareness and
self-care, so, regularlyengaging in activities that
replenish your energy and giveyou joy, help you to maintain
your emotional reserves, andthis then ensures that when you
choose to help others, you comefrom a place of strength, not a
(20:30):
depleted state.
And lastly, learning to acceptthat not all problems can or
need to be fixed by you iscrucial.
Sometimes, the best way to helpis to offer compassion and
empathy, allowing others toexperience their growth and
learn from their challenges.
This reduces your emotionalburden and respects the autonomy
(20:53):
and the resilience of those youcare about.
So, by consciously addressingthat fixer mentality will allow
you to continue to becompassionate and supportive
without compromising youremotional health.
It's about finding a balancethat allows you to be helpful
and stay healthy.
All right, be helpful and stayhealthy, all right.
(21:18):
So in our final segment today, Iwant to go into a less
discussed but very importantaspect that affects many empaths
and highly sensitive people,and that is hypervigilance.
Hypervigilance often stems froma trauma response, where we
become excessively alert orsensitive to our surroundings
(21:39):
and to the emotions of others.
This can sometimes serve as aprotective mechanism, but it's
frequently rooted in past traumaand it leads people to
hyper-focus on others as a wayto preemptively identify and
then mitigate potential threatsor trauma.
Think about it it's like ourbrains are rewired after trauma
(22:01):
to then obsessively scan ourenvironment, looking for signs
that we may experience thattrauma again, and a lot of times
we'll see the threats whenthey're not there.
Hypervigilance is not abehavioral trait.
It has its roots in biologicalchanges within the brain,
(22:22):
particularly in areas like theamygdala, which is responsible
for processing emotions.
When trauma occurs, theamygdala becomes hyperactive.
It's always on the lookout fordanger, which can change the way
the brain processes information.
The heightened state ofalertness can lead to an
(22:42):
overproduction of stresshormones like cortisol and
adrenaline, and it keeps thebody in a constant fight or
flight mode.
This biological response isexhausting, and it often leads
to a state where you're sofocused on potential issues in
your external environment thatyou neglect your internal needs.
(23:02):
That underlying fear is that bymissing any signs, you might
expose yourself or others toharm.
So while this can make impassevery attentive and responsive,
it can also lead to significantanxiety and emotional fatigue.
The physical impact ofhypervigilance can be profound,
(23:25):
right Chronic, constant stressand anxiety, and it can lead to
issues like chronic fatigue,adrenal fatigue, adrenal
collapse, sleep disturbances andweakened immune function.
So, emotionally, the state canisolate you as the constant
strain of being on alert wearsdown your ability to engage in
(23:48):
relaxing and joyful activities.
So to address hypervigilance,the first step is recognizing it
as a response to past traumarather than a necessary or
healthy ongoing state.
Acknowledging that thisheightened state of alertness is
a reaction to past experiencesrather than a reflection of the
(24:12):
current reality, and realizingthat actually helps in the
beginning to let go of thesepatterns.
Sometimes there can be a lot ofshame attached to this
hypervigilance, maybe from howothers have responded to you
when you're hypervigilant, orjudgment.
So realizing that it truly wasyour brain trying to keep you
(24:37):
safe, right, that allows us tosoften a little bit and not have
so much judgment.
One effective method tomanaging hypervigilance is
through grounding techniques.
What this does is it can helpbring you back to the present
moment.
So techniques such as mindfulbreathing, which I talk about a
lot, focusing on sensoryexperiences like touch or sound,
(25:00):
or engaging in mindfulnessmeditation can help reduce the
feelings of anxiety and the needto constantly scan your
environment.
Additionally, trauma-focusedtherapies approaches like EMDR
can be extremely beneficial.
These therapeutic approacheshelp you understand the
organization.
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