March 18, 2024 • 30 mins
Send Rev Rachel a Text Message!!!! What do you love and what would you like to hear more about?
Have you ever found yourself inexplicably drawn to the chaotic whirlwind of a reality TV show, only to realize it's clouding your quest for serenity? I am no stranger to this paradox, and in today's episode, I'm sharing my own dance with drama and how it veered me off the path to inner peace. We're peeling back the layers of why our souls might crave the excitement of conflict, even when it's at odds with our deep longing for happiness. It's a candid look at how the media and activities we absorb can shape our emotional well-being and the reality we live in, and I'll be offering insights from my Soul Recovery journey about liberating ourselves from these addictions to embrace spiritual principles that lead to tranquility and self-love.
For more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit the website www.recoveryoursoul.net use the code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Spiritual Coaching session when you book on the website. Visit the website for all events and groups to get involved in Soul Recovery and the community.
Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom -The 1st Monday of the Month, 6PM Mountain Time. This is a drop in support group where we can come together to explore, connect and support each other on our Soul Recovery journey. Visit the website to register and receive the meeting invite. Free to attend and donations appreciated.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
If you ask most people what they want in
life, they're going to tell youthat they want peace, they want
to be happy, and yet we areaddicted to drama.
It's interesting that weactually open up to and create
scenarios where we're draggingin other people's drama into our
life which is disrupting thatpeace and happiness within
(00:21):
ourselves.
In this episode I talk abouthow I got caught in watching a
drama reality TV show and how itreminded me that this is just
like watching the drama in otherpeople's lives.
We're powerless over everythingoutside of ourselves and what
we choose to put into our lifewhat we choose to watch, what we
(00:43):
choose to listen to, what wechoose to participate in will
affect who we are and how welive our life.
It is as we choose to see itand we get to choose what we're
going to see, what is drama inour life and really what is
reality.
Anyway, enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recovery yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
(01:06):
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recovery your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
(01:27):
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on how we're in change
and healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
If you're new to the SoulRecovery community, welcome.
If you have landed here throughwhatever door you came through,
(01:47):
this is a community.
This is a community that ishere to support each other, to
help each other to move past theplace where we're worrying
about other people more thanwe're worrying about ourselves,
that we are learning to takecare of ourselves.
We're turning the attention toourselves and our wholeness and
breaking free from old patterns,old belief systems and learning
(02:12):
to allow them to have theirexperience so that we can live
for our wholeness, fullest self.
I really do see this as acommunity.
I see every single one of us asholding space for the other.
If you're coming back assomeone who's holding space for
the rest of us, thank you.
(02:32):
I can't tell you how much Iappreciate it.
I hope that you'll go on theFacebook page and join the
Facebook community.
I hope that you'll come to thesupport group once a month on
Zoom, that we can all connectand that you just know that
you're not alone in this, thatwe are in this together, that
we're doing our Soul Recoveryjourney together, so thank you
(02:54):
for being here For this episode.
I wanted to talk about a couplethings.
One is our addiction to drama,and the other is how we perceive
reality.
What is reality?
Those two things came to mebecause yesterday I fell back
into a very interestingsituation that I've been in
(03:17):
before, where I get completelysucked into a TV reality show
and get sucked into the dramaand I just watched myself spiral
into negative feelings,obsessive thinking, the
inability to turn it off and allof the yuckiness that comes
(03:39):
from getting sucked into someoneelse's drama and someone else's
life.
The question is what is reality?
That's what I wanted to talkabout today, because I think
that one of the awarenesses thatI have is how much more peace I
feel today than I did six yearsago when I started my Soul
(04:02):
Recovery journey in earnest andgetting clarity on what is the
tools that I've used, what arethe practices that I've used,
how do I spend my day?
What is it that I can sharewith you that has so transformed
my life from where I was beforethat was so dramatic, so
(04:27):
miserable, so uncomfortable, sounhappy to place today, where I
am mostly at peace, where I lovewho I am, that I love my life,
that I'm comfortable with beingme, I'm comfortable in my skin.
I've released addiction fromalcohol.
I've released addiction fromcontrol.
(04:49):
I've released the addiction ofpeople pleasing.
Those things didn't just happen.
They happened because I'mutilizing these tools and
principles that I'm hoping toteach through soul recovery.
If you're ready for soulrecovery, as a spiritual coach,
(05:09):
I can support your healing tohelp make real changes that will
bring you a life of peace,happiness, connection and
abundance.
You can also work in smallergroups by taking a deep dive in
a zoom workshop or with me inperson at a retreat or an event.
Join others on the soulrecovery path, once a month for
the free zoom support group ordaily on the private Facebook
(05:30):
page.
This is the website recoveryour soul net to book coaching
sessions with me or find all theinformation you need about soul
recovery dates that are comingup and how to register for those
groups and workshops.
To support the podcast and thecommunity, check the links in
the show notes to make a smallmonthly donation or a one-time
donation of your choice.
(05:51):
That will make a huge impact tosupport this community and the
soul recovery mission.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul, and
so what happened yesterday waskind of a reminder and a marker
of how this represents my wholelife.
(06:11):
That I've been working on Dramais something that is interesting
because Our souls both wantpeace and they want Contrast.
So the word contrast is used inspirituality as a definition of
(06:32):
how we need to have darkness tosee light.
You need to have hardship tosee ease.
You need to have heartache tounderstand love.
You need to have lack to haveabundance.
So this concept around contraston our souls level, on our
(06:53):
development from our soulsjourney in this curriculum of
life, it's an important aspectof how we need to be able to see
both sides.
We would love to have a lifethat's it, completely at ease,
right, like some of us would say, oh, I want to never have
(07:13):
another problem again.
I never want to have a singlesituation that feels
uncomfortable or hard ordifficult and, as wonderful as
that may seem, the truth is thatyour soul would be bored with
that, that we need some level ofBack and forth to be able to
(07:34):
really appreciate the good, thepositive.
You have to have some level ofthe yin and the yang right.
That's why there's yin and yang.
But drama is this interestinghook that we can get into,
around control and the beliefthat we can make things be a
(07:57):
certain way or things should bea certain way.
Drama has a lot around judgment.
Drama has a lot aroundgrievance, around guilt, around
somebody doing something wrongor someone being better or worse
than somebody else.
And Drama is a product of oureco state that really likes and
(08:20):
wants to stay in this body Partof ourselves, instead of the
soul part of ourselves, the bodypart of ourselves that has
tangible wants and desires, needand want to be met.
Drama is the part that has some.
(08:41):
It's almost like the juicinessaround thinking that we can
manipulate or that somebody iswrong or somebody is good or bad
.
And clearly it's true, becausethere are millions of examples
of TV shows and movies and booksand you know so much of what we
(09:06):
consume.
Is this drama piece?
Now, again, what I think is sointeresting in soul recovery is
we're not saying that you don'tParticipate in any of these
things.
It's around choosing verycarefully what you put into your
mind and into your life,because we only have X amount of
(09:28):
Bandwidth to be able to process.
So what are you going to beputting into that space that is
going to be taking up Room?
If your life is what you thinkand feel and believe it is, what
are you putting into thatBandwidth space that's helping
create what that is?
(09:48):
Drama for me in the past was away that I could keep myself
from being really in connectionwith what was happening with me
on the inside.
It's interesting that when mylife was at its most dramatic
point which included Alex havinglegal issues and school issues
(10:10):
and my husband and I fightingall the time and Bodhi having
his issues that we he was goingthrough with friends and drugs
and you know all the stuff thatwas happening I was consumed at
the same time with watching andconsuming media that was equally
(10:31):
dramatic.
It's like I needed that dramato feed the drama that was my
life to.
I needed it to show me thatmaybe other people had it worse
than I did, or that maybe Irelated so much to what was
going on with them.
Long before I got sober, I usedto watch almost incessantly.
(10:55):
I used to watch for a period oftime, intervention, which is
really interesting because I wasactively using.
I was actively an addict, but Iwatched intervention to kind of
prove that my family'saddiction wasn't as bad as other
people's addiction.
I needed it as a marker tojustify what was happening in my
(11:18):
house and to see that there washope.
There was some part of me thatliked the shows where you saw
that people had successafterwards and it gave me some
little level of hope that maybein our life I would be better or
the kids would be better orrich would be better.
But when I got sober and Istarted living a healthier life,
(11:42):
I tried to watch one of thoseshows one time and I couldn't.
I couldn't stomach it.
It was too much, it was tooheavy, it was too dark.
It was completely going againsteverything that was within me
that was around being healthy,and it also was the part that I
(12:03):
recognized that I needed to workon me and I needed to let the
people in my life work on them,and that I had chosen sobriety
so I needed to make sure that Iwasn't continuing to fuel this
part that was around dysfunction.
I wanted to connect to and holdon to the truth that I'm whole.
(12:23):
I wanted to recognize mywholeness.
So the same is true in terms ofthe drama that I felt in my life
in the past that I consumedshows that not only intervention
but shows like Married at FirstSight, or there was a whole
bunch of shows on Bravo orLifetime or you know.
(12:44):
I can't even remember what theywere, but they were these shows
that were kind of around howpeople's lives were always
dissatisfied that there wassomething wrong and that the
person in their life was wrong,and they were trying to convince
the person in their life thatthey were wrong and that that
helped me feel better in my life, where I felt like everybody in
(13:06):
my life was wrong.
It's so funny to think aboutnow, but it's essential to not
judge ourselves right.
So in soul recovery, what we'relooking at is we're saying, if
this is the curriculum of mylife, if this is around me,
recognizing my wholeness, I haveto recognize that there were
periods of time where I neededthat information for some reason
(13:31):
and I consumed that informationbecause it fed a pain body in
me that needed feeding, becauseI was living from that pain.
I was so immersed in that painand as I've come into this space
of real deep healing and achange in how I choose to see it
(13:54):
, a change in how I work.
With every single thing in mylife, I've noticed that what I
watch and what I listen to andwhat I consume has changed too,
that I still have contrast, butthe contrast is very different
because I'm different.
So now I still love realityshows because part of me loves
(14:18):
human beings.
That's why I love being a coach, that's why I love leading this
community.
I am passionate about what itmeans to be on this human
experience, what it means tounderstand how to live from our
best selves, this incredibleexperience of being a human
being that is far greater thanany of us get a chance to really
(14:42):
truly experience, because mostof us are so afraid to live from
our greatness.
We have been taught, and partof watching these shows or
consuming these unhealthy showsis they are modeling for us how
to be small and how to be inconflict and how to be
self-righteous.
(15:03):
What I am expanding into is canwe expand into our greatness?
So now I love documentariesabout people who are really
pushing themselves to be theirfullest self.
I love watching shows aroundcreativity and even art,
competition, shows that bringout the best in everybody.
(15:26):
I love shows like Queer Eye forthe Straight Guide, where they
show up and they help people seethemselves for who they are, as
they're expressing fully as whothey are To see humans be their
best selves and to haveheartache and to experience
(15:47):
great joy and love and passionand to be vulnerable and open.
I love that and that alignswith who I am today and how I
want to show up in my life,because essentially the way that
I see it is that we are alllike our own little programs.
I've talked about this beforebut I'm going to say it again we
(16:09):
are all like our own littleprograms your own show, somebody
else's their own show, somebodyelse's their own show and they
do intersect.
But ultimately we areresponsible for our own
characters.
We're responsible for how weshow up in every situation.
(16:31):
None of us would enjoy life ifit was just completely boring.
You would think that you would.
You would think that you don'twant anything to happen in your
life.
But if you had two televisionshows that you could watch and
one was somebody having a niceday, just wandering around
having a nice day and everythingjust worked out smoothly and
beautifully for them, or youcould watch a show where there's
(16:53):
more contrast and they'rehaving a nice day but they have
things to overcome.
You're going to choose the onethat has a little more contrast
because there's learning in thecontrast.
But that's different thanconsuming and being wrapped up
in drama.
Being wrapped up in drama sowhen we watch shows on
(17:16):
television or scroll socialmedia or watch shorts or
whatever the things are, eachone of those things is going
into your psyche and it'sconnecting to a part of you that
is reflecting what's going onin your world and in your life.
We want to be conscientious ofthe fact that everybody's life
(17:40):
is like a show that you canwatch, and how we interact with
it gives us strength, or we giveit the strength to determine
how we feel.
The reason why I wanted to dothis episode is because
yesterday I got caught in theswirl of watching bad drama TV
and it affected me in a negativeway.
(18:01):
I went in for lunch and satdown and turned on the TV and
got caught up in thinking oh mygod, there's a new Love Is Blind
6 season.
I wasn't going to watch it, butmy friend said it was really
good, so I'll just check it out.
I knew better.
I knew better the instant thatI turned it on.
But immediately you get drawninto the fairy tale, you get
(18:26):
drawn into the potential.
You want people to be happy andyou want them to find love, and
you get caught up in thesituations that they're talking
about and the drama sucks you in.
And there I was, four episodeslater, not doing the work that
I'm supposed to be doing outhere in the studio, not in a
(18:47):
good mood, completely consumedwith something that I have no
control over at all, which isthese people on this television
show's life that, by the way, isbeing curated for the dramatic
effect of making it, so that Iwon't turn off the show.
And there I was, in the middleof it, and I felt this yuckiness
(19:10):
, I felt this sadness.
They had moved into the partwhere they had picked their
people and now they were onvacation and they were starting
to have real life drama.
And I thought, oh my God, I'vebeen pulled into the drama of
somebody else's life that I'mpowerless over and I really have
nothing to do with, but it isaffecting me, affected my body,
(19:34):
affected my mood.
I felt different.
I didn't feel energetic, Ididn't feel clean, I didn't feel
connected to this higher power.
I felt obsessed with somethingthat I'm powerless over, and I
had to consciously stop watchingit.
And I could watch my brain afterI turned it off, wanting to
(19:57):
know who worked out and what washappening, and I thought, oh my
gosh, it's just like in lifehow we get obsessed with and
consumed over the people in ourlives that, even though my kids
are my children and I haveinteractions with them and our
characters connect in the shows,I have almost no true control.
(20:19):
I have no control over anythingoutside of myself in step one
of soul recovery, but literallyI can show up as a character in
their show and and say and doall the things that I want to to
help them have success, butthey're responsible for their
own happiness, just like how Iwatch these people in a show
(20:40):
that I have no no contact orever will have contact with that
I wish that I could give themthe advice or have them see
themselves in the right way sothat they could not have these
experiences.
It is almost the same, exceptthat I'm allowing myself to be
consumed with people that I willnever have experience with, and
(21:03):
I felt yucky by the time I gotto bed.
I didn't feel good, I was sadand when I woke up this morning
I said oh my gosh, rachel, you,you fell for drama.
You're spending so much energyin your life to let go of the
obsession that drama creates.
(21:25):
That isn't about your ownawakening.
It isn't about your own health,your own well-being, your own
peace, your own happiness, yourown ease, your own contentment.
This contrast reminded me thatI don't like that.
I don't want that.
I don't need to put that intomy life.
(21:48):
It was a complete waste of myafternoon, is what it was.
But the contrast also remindedme that I get to choose how I
want to see it.
I get to choose what I interactwith.
I get to choose what I watch.
I get to choose how I respondto the world around me, as if
everything is a show that I'mchoosing.
(22:10):
Am I going to watch this?
Am I going to be part of this?
So I spent about 15 minutesreading an article about how it
all turns out for them, whetherthey stayed together, who did,
who didn't, so that I couldclose that chapter and not have
part of my mind curious, andthen I'm going to wipe it.
I'm going to truly let it go.
(22:33):
But what it also reminded me ofis I don't feel good in drama
anymore.
Drama doesn't appeal to me, butI needed to feel that, to be
reminded that choosing readingspiritual things, listening to
uplifting music, reading booksthat fill me up, aligns more
(22:57):
with who I am today, and that weget to each choose.
There's no judgment in soulrecovery, so there isn't
actually a thing that says whatthose shows are or who those
people are is wrong.
It's really around.
Who are you aligned with?
What feels good to you?
What people in your life feelgood to you?
(23:18):
What drama is happening in yourlife that you get caught up in?
It's easy to get caught up init.
Just this weekend my boys weregoing to get together.
I had talked to one of them ashe was driving up to see the
other one.
And then I call the other onethe next day and he's still
asleep and I watched myself getcaught up in the drama of I
(23:39):
thought they were going to gettogether and what's going to
happen next and how are theygoing to.
I stopped and I said, whoa, notyour show, not your show.
If they're going to gettogether, they're going to get
together.
If they're not, they're not.
What are you going to do withyour moment right now?
Rachel and I just let it go.
And then I found out later thatthey had gotten together, had a
(24:01):
great time, enjoyed their timetogether.
I don't even know what thatlooks like.
I don't want to be involved tothat level to where I'm caught
up in what feels like drama.
I want to let them have theirown experience.
I want them to create andcultivate their own experience.
(24:22):
When we are looking at what isreality, it is whatever it is to
each of us.
There is no one absolute truthbecause in any moment, each
person is seeing it, filteringit, experiencing it through
their own lens and their owneyes and their own heart, their
(24:42):
own perception.
And in soul recovery, we'relearning that our perception can
move and it is as I choose tosee it.
When we are having somebodyelse tell us how to see it,
we're losing the strength.
That is who we are to make thatchoice, which is why which you
(25:03):
watch and what you listen to andwho you participate with is so
important.
We get to be in our own worldand some people may say, rachel,
you're totally living innon-reality.
Okay, I will take this one.
I will take this one all day,every single day.
(25:24):
The one where I choose peace,the one where I let everybody be
exactly who they are, with allof their faultedness, and I
don't lay into wanting it to bedifferent, that I see the
wholeness in everyone, that Irecognize that we're all just
here, just trying to figure itout and learn as much as we can
(25:46):
in this particular lifetime.
I will choose the peace that'swithin my heart and that I can
turn off that show that doesn'tfill me up, in the same way that
I can really turn off therelationships that don't work
for me, the images that don'twork for me.
As you know, I don't watch thenews anymore and as we lead up
(26:10):
to the election, I'm gonna watchit less and less.
I want to participate in love.
I choose love.
I choose to see us all as whole.
I choose to see a country thatis going to grow through
whatever this is that we're inright now, and I choose to see
(26:31):
every person that is here on theplanet as part of a
consciousness that is around uslearning, and if that isn't
reality to somebody else, that'sokay, because that's their
experience, and I also know andtrust that we are each exactly
(26:51):
where we're supposed to be, andspirituality isn't for everyone,
because we are all here tolearn in our own way.
So just because I feel it andsee it this way, maybe you
resonate and see it and feel itthis way too, and that's why
you're here learning andconnecting with me.
But somebody else who's intheir own experience, that's
(27:13):
theirs.
That's theirs to learn and togrow.
And I get to choose.
Am I gonna watch thatparticular show?
Am I gonna have that interactand be part of me?
Am I gonna get caught up inthat drama?
And that drama is keeping mefrom taking care of myself.
So I'll pick my reality all daylong and I love my reality.
(27:35):
Now I can't even imagine myselfback to where I was before,
when it was so dramatic and souncomfortable and so unhappy.
I will choose this way of beingbecause I've worked hard to get
here.
So I'm glad I ended up wastinga couple hours yesterday
(28:00):
watching something that remindedme and gave me the contrast
that that is not anything that Iwant in my life.
I choose peace, I choose love.
If you need help with this orwanna work through the steps of
soul recovery with me, book acoaching session with me.
I'd love to support you on yoursoul recovery journey.
(28:20):
Until next time.
Namaste, thank you forlistening to the Recovery Soul
podcast and if you loved whatyou heard here, every Friday we
have a bonus episode and you canaccess this by becoming a
subscriber through Apple Podcastfor only $3.99 a month, or
become a Patreon member, and onthis platform you can choose
(28:44):
$5.15 or $25 a month.
To show what you wanna supportthe show with On both of these
subscriber platforms is anentire catalog of back episodes
intended to inspire and supportyou on your soul recovery
journey.
I really wanna invite everybodyto attend the free once a month,
every first Monday of the monthsupport group.
(29:05):
This is on Zoom.
Everyone is welcome to attendand by giving a like or a review
and sharing this with yourfriends and family really helps
us to share the soul recoverymessage with even more people.
We are on social media.
We are on all the platforms.
I am on TikTok.
You can listen to guidedmeditations by Rev Rachel
Harrison on Insight Timer.
(29:26):
Thank you for supporting theshow.
Thank you for being part of thecommunity.
To find out more about soulrecovery and everything that's
being offered, visit the websitewwwrecoveryoursoulnet.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
If you ask most people what they want in
life, they're going to tell youthat they want peace, they want
to be happy, and yet we areaddicted to drama.
It's interesting that weactually open up to and create
scenarios where we're draggingin other people's drama into our
life which is disrupting thatpeace and happiness within
(00:21):
ourselves.
In this episode I talk abouthow I got caught in watching a
drama reality TV show and how itreminded me that this is just
like watching the drama in otherpeople's lives.
We're powerless over everythingoutside of ourselves and what
we choose to put into our lifewhat we choose to watch, what we
(00:43):
choose to listen to, what wechoose to participate in will
affect who we are and how welive our life.
It is as we choose to see itand we get to choose what we're
going to see, what is drama inour life and really what is
reality.
Anyway, enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recovery yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
(01:06):
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recovery your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
(01:27):
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on how we're in change
and healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
If you're new to the SoulRecovery community, welcome.
If you have landed here throughwhatever door you came through,
(01:47):
this is a community.
This is a community that ishere to support each other, to
help each other to move past theplace where we're worrying
about other people more thanwe're worrying about ourselves,
that we are learning to takecare of ourselves.
We're turning the attention toourselves and our wholeness and
breaking free from old patterns,old belief systems and learning
(02:12):
to allow them to have theirexperience so that we can live
for our wholeness, fullest self.
I really do see this as acommunity.
I see every single one of us asholding space for the other.
If you're coming back assomeone who's holding space for
the rest of us, thank you.
(02:32):
I can't tell you how much Iappreciate it.
I hope that you'll go on theFacebook page and join the
Facebook community.
I hope that you'll come to thesupport group once a month on
Zoom, that we can all connectand that you just know that
you're not alone in this, thatwe are in this together, that
we're doing our Soul Recoveryjourney together, so thank you
(02:54):
for being here For this episode.
I wanted to talk about a couplethings.
One is our addiction to drama,and the other is how we perceive
reality.
What is reality?
Those two things came to mebecause yesterday I fell back
into a very interestingsituation that I've been in
(03:17):
before, where I get completelysucked into a TV reality show
and get sucked into the dramaand I just watched myself spiral
into negative feelings,obsessive thinking, the
inability to turn it off and allof the yuckiness that comes
(03:39):
from getting sucked into someoneelse's drama and someone else's
life.
The question is what is reality?
That's what I wanted to talkabout today, because I think
that one of the awarenesses thatI have is how much more peace I
feel today than I did six yearsago when I started my Soul
(04:02):
Recovery journey in earnest andgetting clarity on what is the
tools that I've used, what arethe practices that I've used,
how do I spend my day?
What is it that I can sharewith you that has so transformed
my life from where I was beforethat was so dramatic, so
(04:27):
miserable, so uncomfortable, sounhappy to place today, where I
am mostly at peace, where I lovewho I am, that I love my life,
that I'm comfortable with beingme, I'm comfortable in my skin.
I've released addiction fromalcohol.
I've released addiction fromcontrol.
(04:49):
I've released the addiction ofpeople pleasing.
Those things didn't just happen.
They happened because I'mutilizing these tools and
principles that I'm hoping toteach through soul recovery.
If you're ready for soulrecovery, as a spiritual coach,
(05:09):
I can support your healing tohelp make real changes that will
bring you a life of peace,happiness, connection and
abundance.
You can also work in smallergroups by taking a deep dive in
a zoom workshop or with me inperson at a retreat or an event.
Join others on the soulrecovery path, once a month for
the free zoom support group ordaily on the private Facebook
(05:30):
page.
This is the website recoveryour soul net to book coaching
sessions with me or find all theinformation you need about soul
recovery dates that are comingup and how to register for those
groups and workshops.
To support the podcast and thecommunity, check the links in
the show notes to make a smallmonthly donation or a one-time
donation of your choice.
(05:51):
That will make a huge impact tosupport this community and the
soul recovery mission.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul, and
so what happened yesterday waskind of a reminder and a marker
of how this represents my wholelife.
(06:11):
That I've been working on Dramais something that is interesting
because Our souls both wantpeace and they want Contrast.
So the word contrast is used inspirituality as a definition of
(06:32):
how we need to have darkness tosee light.
You need to have hardship tosee ease.
You need to have heartache tounderstand love.
You need to have lack to haveabundance.
So this concept around contraston our souls level, on our
(06:53):
development from our soulsjourney in this curriculum of
life, it's an important aspectof how we need to be able to see
both sides.
We would love to have a lifethat's it, completely at ease,
right, like some of us would say, oh, I want to never have
(07:13):
another problem again.
I never want to have a singlesituation that feels
uncomfortable or hard ordifficult and, as wonderful as
that may seem, the truth is thatyour soul would be bored with
that, that we need some level ofBack and forth to be able to
(07:34):
really appreciate the good, thepositive.
You have to have some level ofthe yin and the yang right.
That's why there's yin and yang.
But drama is this interestinghook that we can get into,
around control and the beliefthat we can make things be a
(07:57):
certain way or things should bea certain way.
Drama has a lot around judgment.
Drama has a lot aroundgrievance, around guilt, around
somebody doing something wrongor someone being better or worse
than somebody else.
And Drama is a product of oureco state that really likes and
(08:20):
wants to stay in this body Partof ourselves, instead of the
soul part of ourselves, the bodypart of ourselves that has
tangible wants and desires, needand want to be met.
Drama is the part that has some.
(08:41):
It's almost like the juicinessaround thinking that we can
manipulate or that somebody iswrong or somebody is good or bad
.
And clearly it's true, becausethere are millions of examples
of TV shows and movies and booksand you know so much of what we
(09:06):
consume.
Is this drama piece?
Now, again, what I think is sointeresting in soul recovery is
we're not saying that you don'tParticipate in any of these
things.
It's around choosing verycarefully what you put into your
mind and into your life,because we only have X amount of
(09:28):
Bandwidth to be able to process.
So what are you going to beputting into that space that is
going to be taking up Room?
If your life is what you thinkand feel and believe it is, what
are you putting into thatBandwidth space that's helping
create what that is?
(09:48):
Drama for me in the past was away that I could keep myself
from being really in connectionwith what was happening with me
on the inside.
It's interesting that when mylife was at its most dramatic
point which included Alex havinglegal issues and school issues
(10:10):
and my husband and I fightingall the time and Bodhi having
his issues that we he was goingthrough with friends and drugs
and you know all the stuff thatwas happening I was consumed at
the same time with watching andconsuming media that was equally
(10:31):
dramatic.
It's like I needed that dramato feed the drama that was my
life to.
I needed it to show me thatmaybe other people had it worse
than I did, or that maybe Irelated so much to what was
going on with them.
Long before I got sober, I usedto watch almost incessantly.
(10:55):
I used to watch for a period oftime, intervention, which is
really interesting because I wasactively using.
I was actively an addict, but Iwatched intervention to kind of
prove that my family'saddiction wasn't as bad as other
people's addiction.
I needed it as a marker tojustify what was happening in my
(11:18):
house and to see that there washope.
There was some part of me thatliked the shows where you saw
that people had successafterwards and it gave me some
little level of hope that maybein our life I would be better or
the kids would be better orrich would be better.
But when I got sober and Istarted living a healthier life,
(11:42):
I tried to watch one of thoseshows one time and I couldn't.
I couldn't stomach it.
It was too much, it was tooheavy, it was too dark.
It was completely going againsteverything that was within me
that was around being healthy,and it also was the part that I
(12:03):
recognized that I needed to workon me and I needed to let the
people in my life work on them,and that I had chosen sobriety
so I needed to make sure that Iwasn't continuing to fuel this
part that was around dysfunction.
I wanted to connect to and holdon to the truth that I'm whole.
(12:23):
I wanted to recognize mywholeness.
So the same is true in terms ofthe drama that I felt in my life
in the past that I consumedshows that not only intervention
but shows like Married at FirstSight, or there was a whole
bunch of shows on Bravo orLifetime or you know.
(12:44):
I can't even remember what theywere, but they were these shows
that were kind of around howpeople's lives were always
dissatisfied that there wassomething wrong and that the
person in their life was wrong,and they were trying to convince
the person in their life thatthey were wrong and that that
helped me feel better in my life, where I felt like everybody in
(13:06):
my life was wrong.
It's so funny to think aboutnow, but it's essential to not
judge ourselves right.
So in soul recovery, what we'relooking at is we're saying, if
this is the curriculum of mylife, if this is around me,
recognizing my wholeness, I haveto recognize that there were
periods of time where I neededthat information for some reason
(13:31):
and I consumed that informationbecause it fed a pain body in
me that needed feeding, becauseI was living from that pain.
I was so immersed in that painand as I've come into this space
of real deep healing and achange in how I choose to see it
(13:54):
, a change in how I work.
With every single thing in mylife, I've noticed that what I
watch and what I listen to andwhat I consume has changed too,
that I still have contrast, butthe contrast is very different
because I'm different.
So now I still love realityshows because part of me loves
(14:18):
human beings.
That's why I love being a coach, that's why I love leading this
community.
I am passionate about what itmeans to be on this human
experience, what it means tounderstand how to live from our
best selves, this incredibleexperience of being a human
being that is far greater thanany of us get a chance to really
(14:42):
truly experience, because mostof us are so afraid to live from
our greatness.
We have been taught, and partof watching these shows or
consuming these unhealthy showsis they are modeling for us how
to be small and how to be inconflict and how to be
self-righteous.
(15:03):
What I am expanding into is canwe expand into our greatness?
So now I love documentariesabout people who are really
pushing themselves to be theirfullest self.
I love watching shows aroundcreativity and even art,
competition, shows that bringout the best in everybody.
(15:26):
I love shows like Queer Eye forthe Straight Guide, where they
show up and they help people seethemselves for who they are, as
they're expressing fully as whothey are To see humans be their
best selves and to haveheartache and to experience
(15:47):
great joy and love and passionand to be vulnerable and open.
I love that and that alignswith who I am today and how I
want to show up in my life,because essentially the way that
I see it is that we are alllike our own little programs.
I've talked about this beforebut I'm going to say it again we
(16:09):
are all like our own littleprograms your own show, somebody
else's their own show, somebodyelse's their own show and they
do intersect.
But ultimately we areresponsible for our own
characters.
We're responsible for how weshow up in every situation.
(16:31):
None of us would enjoy life ifit was just completely boring.
You would think that you would.
You would think that you don'twant anything to happen in your
life.
But if you had two televisionshows that you could watch and
one was somebody having a niceday, just wandering around
having a nice day and everythingjust worked out smoothly and
beautifully for them, or youcould watch a show where there's
(16:53):
more contrast and they'rehaving a nice day but they have
things to overcome.
You're going to choose the onethat has a little more contrast
because there's learning in thecontrast.
But that's different thanconsuming and being wrapped up
in drama.
Being wrapped up in drama sowhen we watch shows on
(17:16):
television or scroll socialmedia or watch shorts or
whatever the things are, eachone of those things is going
into your psyche and it'sconnecting to a part of you that
is reflecting what's going onin your world and in your life.
We want to be conscientious ofthe fact that everybody's life
(17:40):
is like a show that you canwatch, and how we interact with
it gives us strength, or we giveit the strength to determine
how we feel.
The reason why I wanted to dothis episode is because
yesterday I got caught in theswirl of watching bad drama TV
and it affected me in a negativeway.
(18:01):
I went in for lunch and satdown and turned on the TV and
got caught up in thinking oh mygod, there's a new Love Is Blind
6 season.
I wasn't going to watch it, butmy friend said it was really
good, so I'll just check it out.
I knew better.
I knew better the instant thatI turned it on.
But immediately you get drawninto the fairy tale, you get
(18:26):
drawn into the potential.
You want people to be happy andyou want them to find love, and
you get caught up in thesituations that they're talking
about and the drama sucks you in.
And there I was, four episodeslater, not doing the work that
I'm supposed to be doing outhere in the studio, not in a
(18:47):
good mood, completely consumedwith something that I have no
control over at all, which isthese people on this television
show's life that, by the way, isbeing curated for the dramatic
effect of making it, so that Iwon't turn off the show.
And there I was, in the middleof it, and I felt this yuckiness
(19:10):
, I felt this sadness.
They had moved into the partwhere they had picked their
people and now they were onvacation and they were starting
to have real life drama.
And I thought, oh my God, I'vebeen pulled into the drama of
somebody else's life that I'mpowerless over and I really have
nothing to do with, but it isaffecting me, affected my body,
(19:34):
affected my mood.
I felt different.
I didn't feel energetic, Ididn't feel clean, I didn't feel
connected to this higher power.
I felt obsessed with somethingthat I'm powerless over, and I
had to consciously stop watchingit.
And I could watch my brain afterI turned it off, wanting to
(19:57):
know who worked out and what washappening, and I thought, oh my
gosh, it's just like in lifehow we get obsessed with and
consumed over the people in ourlives that, even though my kids
are my children and I haveinteractions with them and our
characters connect in the shows,I have almost no true control.
(20:19):
I have no control over anythingoutside of myself in step one
of soul recovery, but literallyI can show up as a character in
their show and and say and doall the things that I want to to
help them have success, butthey're responsible for their
own happiness, just like how Iwatch these people in a show
(20:40):
that I have no no contact orever will have contact with that
I wish that I could give themthe advice or have them see
themselves in the right way sothat they could not have these
experiences.
It is almost the same, exceptthat I'm allowing myself to be
consumed with people that I willnever have experience with, and
(21:03):
I felt yucky by the time I gotto bed.
I didn't feel good, I was sadand when I woke up this morning
I said oh my gosh, rachel, you,you fell for drama.
You're spending so much energyin your life to let go of the
obsession that drama creates.
(21:25):
That isn't about your ownawakening.
It isn't about your own health,your own well-being, your own
peace, your own happiness, yourown ease, your own contentment.
This contrast reminded me thatI don't like that.
I don't want that.
I don't need to put that intomy life.
(21:48):
It was a complete waste of myafternoon, is what it was.
But the contrast also remindedme that I get to choose how I
want to see it.
I get to choose what I interactwith.
I get to choose what I watch.
I get to choose how I respondto the world around me, as if
everything is a show that I'mchoosing.
(22:10):
Am I going to watch this?
Am I going to be part of this?
So I spent about 15 minutesreading an article about how it
all turns out for them, whetherthey stayed together, who did,
who didn't, so that I couldclose that chapter and not have
part of my mind curious, andthen I'm going to wipe it.
I'm going to truly let it go.
(22:33):
But what it also reminded me ofis I don't feel good in drama
anymore.
Drama doesn't appeal to me, butI needed to feel that, to be
reminded that choosing readingspiritual things, listening to
uplifting music, reading booksthat fill me up, aligns more
(22:57):
with who I am today, and that weget to each choose.
There's no judgment in soulrecovery, so there isn't
actually a thing that says whatthose shows are or who those
people are is wrong.
It's really around.
Who are you aligned with?
What feels good to you?
What people in your life feelgood to you?
(23:18):
What drama is happening in yourlife that you get caught up in?
It's easy to get caught up init.
Just this weekend my boys weregoing to get together.
I had talked to one of them ashe was driving up to see the
other one.
And then I call the other onethe next day and he's still
asleep and I watched myself getcaught up in the drama of I
(23:39):
thought they were going to gettogether and what's going to
happen next and how are theygoing to.
I stopped and I said, whoa, notyour show, not your show.
If they're going to gettogether, they're going to get
together.
If they're not, they're not.
What are you going to do withyour moment right now?
Rachel and I just let it go.
And then I found out later thatthey had gotten together, had a
(24:01):
great time, enjoyed their timetogether.
I don't even know what thatlooks like.
I don't want to be involved tothat level to where I'm caught
up in what feels like drama.
I want to let them have theirown experience.
I want them to create andcultivate their own experience.
(24:22):
When we are looking at what isreality, it is whatever it is to
each of us.
There is no one absolute truthbecause in any moment, each
person is seeing it, filteringit, experiencing it through
their own lens and their owneyes and their own heart, their
(24:42):
own perception.
And in soul recovery, we'relearning that our perception can
move and it is as I choose tosee it.
When we are having somebodyelse tell us how to see it,
we're losing the strength.
That is who we are to make thatchoice, which is why which you
(25:03):
watch and what you listen to andwho you participate with is so
important.
We get to be in our own worldand some people may say, rachel,
you're totally living innon-reality.
Okay, I will take this one.
I will take this one all day,every single day.
(25:24):
The one where I choose peace,the one where I let everybody be
exactly who they are, with allof their faultedness, and I
don't lay into wanting it to bedifferent, that I see the
wholeness in everyone, that Irecognize that we're all just
here, just trying to figure itout and learn as much as we can
(25:46):
in this particular lifetime.
I will choose the peace that'swithin my heart and that I can
turn off that show that doesn'tfill me up, in the same way that
I can really turn off therelationships that don't work
for me, the images that don'twork for me.
As you know, I don't watch thenews anymore and as we lead up
(26:10):
to the election, I'm gonna watchit less and less.
I want to participate in love.
I choose love.
I choose to see us all as whole.
I choose to see a country thatis going to grow through
whatever this is that we're inright now, and I choose to see
(26:31):
every person that is here on theplanet as part of a
consciousness that is around uslearning, and if that isn't
reality to somebody else, that'sokay, because that's their
experience, and I also know andtrust that we are each exactly
(26:51):
where we're supposed to be, andspirituality isn't for everyone,
because we are all here tolearn in our own way.
So just because I feel it andsee it this way, maybe you
resonate and see it and feel itthis way too, and that's why
you're here learning andconnecting with me.
But somebody else who's intheir own experience, that's
(27:13):
theirs.
That's theirs to learn and togrow.
And I get to choose.
Am I gonna watch thatparticular show?
Am I gonna have that interactand be part of me?
Am I gonna get caught up inthat drama?
And that drama is keeping mefrom taking care of myself.
So I'll pick my reality all daylong and I love my reality.
(27:35):
Now I can't even imagine myselfback to where I was before,
when it was so dramatic and souncomfortable and so unhappy.
I will choose this way of beingbecause I've worked hard to get
here.
So I'm glad I ended up wastinga couple hours yesterday
(28:00):
watching something that remindedme and gave me the contrast
that that is not anything that Iwant in my life.
I choose peace, I choose love.
If you need help with this orwanna work through the steps of
soul recovery with me, book acoaching session with me.
I'd love to support you on yoursoul recovery journey.
(28:20):
Until next time.
Namaste, thank you forlistening to the Recovery Soul
podcast and if you loved whatyou heard here, every Friday we
have a bonus episode and you canaccess this by becoming a
subscriber through Apple Podcastfor only $3.99 a month, or
become a Patreon member, and onthis platform you can choose
(28:44):
$5.15 or $25 a month.
To show what you wanna supportthe show with On both of these
subscriber platforms is anentire catalog of back episodes
intended to inspire and supportyou on your soul recovery
journey.
I really wanna invite everybodyto attend the free once a month,
every first Monday of the monthsupport group.
(29:05):
This is on Zoom.
Everyone is welcome to attendand by giving a like or a review
and sharing this with yourfriends and family really helps
us to share the soul recoverymessage with even more people.
We are on social media.
We are on all the platforms.
I am on TikTok.
You can listen to guidedmeditations by Rev Rachel
Harrison on Insight Timer.
(29:26):
Thank you for supporting theshow.
Thank you for being part of thecommunity.
To find out more about soulrecovery and everything that's
being offered, visit the websitewwwrecoveryoursoulnet.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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