Version Updates: Overriding Unmotivated Days

I skipped recording for a few days because I felt uninspired, tired, and visually overloaded with symptoms. What I realized this morning (once again) is that these feelings surface when I ignore my physical well-being and do stuff I know I shouldn’t be doing (like catching @justbeingmelanie’s last post on Instagram). As the discomfort sets in, I lose motivation and start listening to my wanter, who tells me all the things I don’t want to do. Today I decided to “do it anyway,” hit record, and speak through the lingering inertia. My commitment to show up daily and acknowledge what’s rattling around between my ears, has pulled me out of many a rut.

Over the past few days the themes that have echoed in my head were willingness, turning my life over, and staying sober and mentally well through grief. I revisited a scary childhood memory and contrasted it with the nightly peace I now find in saying, “Thy will be done, not mine.” Acceptance, understanding, and willingness remain my tools when chronic pain, uncertainty, and loss make days difficult. Each adversity feels like another software update (Rachel 3.1, 3.2, 3.3) unfolding a new version of me. That ongoing spiritual awakening happens only when I admit I’m human, acknowledge discomfort, and lean into gratitude for guidance, even in the middle of the storm.

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