Thriving with Inspiration from Commencement Speeches

The kids are back to school again. This made us think of our own time in college and what we took away from our own Commencement speeches and more current examples of inspiration. For our listeners who want to get inspired further:

Here are a few links to check out for three of the speeches referenced in our session

Rafael Nadal - "The most important thing is that you become good persons" Rafa Nadal at the Graduation of 2019 (youtube.com)

Lou Holtz - Lou Holtz delivers the commencement address at the University of South Carolina (youtube.com)

Melinda French Gates - Bing Videos

Here's a book for those interested in more inspiration at your fingertips - Graduation Day: The Best Of America's Commencement Speeches: Albanese, Andrew & Trissl, Plimpton, George: 9780688160333: Amazon.com: Books

We hope that no matter how long ago you may have graduated, that you find new inspiration through our podcast and these tremendous speakers.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to ReFirement Life, the podcast for anyone navigating life transitions or planning

(00:06):
to make life transitions to ensure your next years are your best years.
Listen in for insightful, generous, and sometimes humorous conversation.
It's time to get fired up with Christine Zamuda and Muge Wood, your hosts for this
latest episode of ReFirement Life.

(00:28):
Hello everyone. Today my awesome co-host Christine and I are here to kick off our episode number 51.
Today's topic is thriving with commencement speeches.
As back to school season is in full swing, we think this is a timely topic as commencement
indicates new beginnings. And I think for any of us who has been on college campus,

(00:53):
we are always inspired by the vibrant and hopeful energy of the youth that gives us a lot of confidence
for the future. So we are going to cover off a couple commencement speeches and some key takeaways
to inspire us as we navigate a number of transitions in our lives. So Christine,

(01:17):
any happening since the last time that you want to call out?
Well, we did record live from Ireland. So that was a big moment.
We're still recovering from that episode.
Exactly. I am thankfully back in my exercise routine, playing tennis, doing pilates, working
off those Guinness calories. But we had a lovely trip, just really special for any of the listeners

(01:42):
out there who are thinking about traveling with your parents, traveling with your sister or brother,
especially I think now that in my stage of life, I've raised my kids, it's kind of nice to go with
a smaller group where you're not having to take care of everyone, right? You're going and seeing

(02:04):
the things you want to see. You're spending some quality time with your loved ones that you don't
typically get in a big group setting. And we totally enjoyed Ireland. I highly recommend the
place for the music, for the people, for everything. Everything was fantastic.
That's awesome. Welcome back. That was really fun. I certainly appreciated getting transported to

(02:28):
the awesome pub in Dublin at the time. The only thing missing was the Guinness, but we'll have
to supplement that separately. And for me, my big event was attending US Open for the first time.
And it was an amazing experience. Got to do it all. Got to see four matches, tried the honeydew

(02:51):
signature cocktail. Did a lot of merchandise shopping to make sure I am fully outfitted,
reflecting the fact that I am at US Open 2024. So it was an awesome experience.
So back to our topic, I think during the introduction I mentioned, it's a really

(03:11):
amazing experience to be on a college campus in so many dimensions, to see the youth, to hope,
the energy. And of course, it's always paired with some world-class college sports, as the
decision kicks underway on that one as well. So, Christine, thinking back to either the time
you were at college or you go back to college to visit your kids, what are some of your favorite

(03:34):
parts of being on college campus? Yeah, I just love the energy. And I think, you know, you can't
help but think about yourself when you were young and just exploring everything in the world and,
you know, figuring out who you were going to be and learning and making these, you know,

(03:55):
for me, like lifelong connections. My freshman roommates and friends, like we still talk,
we're on a text chain, you know, to this day and sharing information. And yeah, and I think now,
when I go back and I see the college students, especially around graduation time and their

(04:15):
caps and gowns, you just think, wow, like, you know, how happy for the families, for the
graduates to be at this milestone and, you know, ready to take the world by the horns.
I just, it's infectious, right? It is. It just gives a lot of energy. And I had the chance to

(04:38):
celebrate my older son's graduation with our family in May. So, we worked the commencement
speech there. The environment is just completely electric. It is very celebratory. It is a massive
milestone. And what lies ahead is incredibly exciting beyond planned and unplanned things that

(04:59):
await you. So, that sense of hope and energy is very uplifting. So, speaking of commencement
speeches, I also learned as I prepare for our episode is that commencement is dry from old French.
And it stands for start or new beginning. So, I want to start out highlighting with you, Christine,

(05:23):
the first commencement speech that I found totally inspiring, which is not completely
surprising that it was from Roger Federer, connecting out with our tennis team. And this
speech he gave at Dartmouth earlier this summer. And it was incredible. So, he started out by
saying, you know, he's called out as retired from tennis. And he thinks the word is completely awful.

(05:52):
Because you don't say you're retired from college. You say, as an example, you've finished one big
thing and you are moving on to the next. And he likes to think of his retirement from tennis
as such a end of a great thing and beginning of something else that may be equally big. So,
I like that mindset because I think when we say retire, it sounds like you're stepping aside

(06:19):
and just waiting. Exactly. And that's like the end stage. And that's kind of a depressing thought.
So, I like the way he's framing that. Yeah. And if you remember, we talked about the word
retirement and the root word from Latin, it means to withdraw. And if you look at many
people who are going on to the next stage, Roger Federer, whether it's, you know,

(06:44):
Chrissy Everett, they're still very active in the game. They're still
commentating. They may be doing camps and instruction. They may be even playing in
the senior league and still going, right? Right. Right. Very much so. And in some ways, you have
even so much more to give because of your experience and perspective than early stages

(07:09):
of your life, of your career that can make it even more fulfilling and rewarding for the things
you care about. So, Roger Federer has three key takeaways that I think can touch on all of us.
The number one is that he says effortless is a myth. A lot of times during his tennis career,

(07:30):
people thought his play looked effortless. He made it look really easy. And he said,
for something to look easy while mastering it took many, many, many hours and years of practice,
commitment and discipline. So, when we, I think sometimes see an accomplishment and it may look

(07:52):
almost at times like overnight success, so to speak, almost always that never is true.
It does take many, many years of hard work. So, his point there is talent obviously matters,
but practice and discipline matter just as much for that talent to translate into incredible

(08:15):
results. So, just the recognition that effort really is necessary and it's part of that journey.
Yeah. No, I love that. I love that. And yeah, I mean, it is hard to
think about all of the blooper reels that went into his career, miss balls in the beginning stages,

(08:38):
because they are so good. They're just playing at a whole other level.
Right. That's right. But for it to look like that, the amount of effort that it takes.
The second one that I think is also very important, he called out is that it's only a point.
In his tennis career, he said he played 1,526 singles matches. That is a lot of matches. And he

(09:04):
won almost 80% of them. And so, that's massive. And the question he posed to the audience, he said,
what percentage of those points do you think I have won in those matches?
And what was the answer? The answer was 54%. Wow. So, by a thin margin. Yeah. Yes. By a very thin

(09:29):
margin, right? He's winning 80%. So, he is losing, if he were to look at the other side, 46% of the
points. That is losing a lot of points in a game. So, his point is you cannot dwell on the point you
lost. You have to look at it as it's only a point and you have to move forward. Because if you get

(09:49):
stuck on the point you lost, then you are not going to be in the game to have the chance to win the
next point. So, and same for whatever your definition of point is in the lives and careers that we have.
Yeah. We got to move forward and say it's only a point, move on to the next opportunity.

(10:10):
Right. Well, if you think about the game of tennis, and I'm sure you've been here before. I tell you
that I've been on the losing side of this where, okay, the set was 6-2. Yet, the six or the four
games that we lost went to do like three, four, five times. And it was just that final point

(10:33):
that won it. So, sometimes the score doesn't reflect the effort and everything involved,
but it's keeping yourself mentally fit, not giving up, not being frustrated and continuing to play.
So, I think that 54% stat is really, really interesting. That is very interesting. And one
thing I appreciate my tennis coach reminds me often because I am a very tough critic on myself

(11:01):
as I am still learning the game of tennis. And he says, focus on the good shots. You're able to
have some good shots. So, focus on those and try to do more of those instead of dwelling on the
ones you're not liking. So, I think that's a really important mindset. And I think, especially

(11:21):
at the levels, pros play, it's a lot about the mindset more than the swing at times.
So, exactly. And that's true of life too. I like applying that to your outlook. You could get up and
think the day is going to be fantastic. You probably have a better chance of it being fantastic

(11:44):
other than dwelling on what didn't work well yesterday. Yes, that's right. It is something
interesting about that mindset when the mindset is positive. You seem to have positive things
happen to you. And that may be totally your outlook. But I think ultimately, probably we can all
agree not much good comes out of dwelling in a negative mindset for too long. I think we may

(12:08):
all go there at different times through life's happenings, but pulling ourselves out of it is
key. And the last thing he says, and I love this one too, he says, life is bigger than the court.
So, he said in his case, he really worked very hard to have a life that is inclusive of tennis,

(12:31):
but it's also full of travel, culture, friends, especially family, that really helped him
prevent burnout because he had other dimensions in his life that were also very fulfilling and
rewarding, which arguably probably helps him with the transition to the next chapter because

(12:54):
something as big as tennis and so to speak, and you're moving on to the next thing, that could be
a feeling of hollowness and what am I going to do next. And that probably, Christine draws a little
bit on a prior topic covered in our episodes, and that's the portfolio life concept where
you have multiple dimensions and you are nurturing and cultivating them all, not only to have options

(13:20):
and fallback plans, but also to experience a fuller and richer life. Yes, yes, yes, totally agree.
I think that is so important, Mugey, to think about what is beyond your job, what is beyond your
stage of life if you're experiencing or about to experience a transition. And as we've talked before,

(13:42):
you mentioned portfolio life, it's thinking about what are those passion projects that you want to
invest in now to get a feel for how they can continue to keep you fulfilled, keep you learning,
keep you growing as you move on in your next chapters. That's exactly right to nurture the

(14:03):
portfolio. So as far as commencement speeches go, I think some can be totally inspiring. I actually
sometimes bought a book that includes write-ups of commencement speeches. Sometimes I read through
them for inspiration. Do you have any memory of your own commencement speech or the commencement

(14:24):
speeches that you may have been to for your family? Yeah, when you posed this question, I had to go
back and remember, I just remembered being at my commencement speech, and at that point in time,
I was really ready to get out of school. I had a job waiting. The four years had passed, had a

(14:46):
wonderful, wonderful experience at Michigan State. But I just remember being less than excited about
who they chose for our commencement speaker only because the past commencement speakers at Michigan
State were Bill Clinton, Maya Angelou, and then we had Laurel Cavallis, and he was the time the

(15:11):
department secretary of education for the US. And he had broken a lot of ground as the first
Hispanic leader to be put in the US president's cabinet. But his message was all about education
and making the system better. And we were like, we want to get out of the system. We're ready for

(15:32):
the next. We have been in the system for some time now. We are looking beyond the system.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I just remember my boyfriend and I having a bottle of champagne,
popping that in the front row, not having glasses. Just not my finest moment. But yeah,

(15:52):
so that was not super, super inspiring. But I do remember being there by other opportunities with
commencement speeches that I was truly inspired by. My niece graduated from Dickinson College and
they had Christiana Ampour, the journalist, come speak. Just, I mean, inspiring talk about just

(16:16):
a trailblazer, ensuring that the true stories are told in media, which is so important, still very
important, even more important today. So I got a lot of inspiration from her. And then my other
niece graduated from University of South Carolina. And they had Lou Holtz, who's a famed coach from

(16:38):
Notre Dame. And if you have ever seen Lou Holtz speak, he's he's very down to earth, very funny,
but also provides a lot of wisdom. His three points from that speech was, you know, first
to the grads, make good decisions. His quote is, life is nothing more than a series of choices.

(17:01):
Whoever you are, good or bad, it's because of the choices you make. Right. So that is
like, you know, don't blame anyone else. Don't blame like what has happened to you. Don't blame
that the COVID pandemic has happened and the world has changed. Like it's your choices.
Then he also has on his three core rules for success. Do what's right. Do everything to the

(17:25):
best of your ability and show people you care. Really simple, really powerful. And then the
last thing he talks about is faith and resilience. I don't know how people function without faith,
no matter your age, you have to have something you want to accomplish, something that gets you
up every day. It's incredible. I think they sound simple and obvious, but yet they are very profound

(17:52):
and impactful. And I think it all is centered around the theme of finding your purpose and passion,
cultivating that and doing it in a way that helps you and helps others around you. So,
and, you know, there are many ways to go about it, but the, you know, foundational elements are the
same. I love the message of accountability because a lot of things happen in our journeys. And it is

(18:18):
just good to take responsibility for the things we can control and work on those.
Absolutely. Much more productive and positive mindset, I think, to look at it that way. So thank
you for sharing that, Christine. See, inspiration from commencement speeches. It's there.

(18:39):
So I would like to shift gears a little bit to talk about our second commencement speech
takeaway. And this one is from Melinda French Gates, where she gave the commencement speech
this summer at Stanford University, which was extra special for her and for her family because

(18:59):
her younger daughter also graduated from Stanford at the time. And her younger daughter said she
really wanted to graduate at that point in time where her mother was also giving commencement
speech. So that was extra special for their family. And, you know, I'm a fan of Melinda French Gates.
I love what she has been doing to uplift the community is her book, The Moment of Lift. So

(19:27):
she's doing some amazing things. So as she started out her commencement speech, she
included this pretty interesting and powerful story. So the story goes that the spiritual
leader, Ram Dass, had a wonderful teaching about two waves traveling through the ocean,

(19:52):
one big and one small. As they get closer to the land, the big wave sees what's about to happen.
All the waves ahead of them are crashing into the shore and vanishing. The big wave is pretty
devastated. Seize this as the end of life and warns the small wave that the end is near.

(20:13):
The small wave just smiles and says, don't worry, we'll be fine. And the big wave is like, no,
you don't understand, we are about to crash and die. The smaller waves still totally calm and
says, no, we are not. And I explain why. It's because you are not a wave, you are water.
So I think to think of a situation at that level and see the possibility of the bigger picture

(20:42):
is really tough to do. But love the story of how the beginnings, the new beginnings are all around
us, no matter what our, in a way, no matter what our age condition, our circumstances may be. And
I think that is just a really uplifting way to look at it. And I love the story. I never heard

(21:04):
of this story. It is a good one. Yeah, that is a great story. And the other interpretation I
had as you're reading it is the sense of oneness. A big wave might look different than a small wave,
but at the same time, they're all the same. So having that connection, thinking about humanity,

(21:25):
and while we might come from all different places, we have some of all different experiences. But
at the end of the day, we all want the same things. We want a happy family, we want safety,
we want purpose in life. But I love that story. Yes, that's true. That's true. It's
part of being the bigger picture and the connectedness of it all. So I love Melinda Gates's

(21:53):
message here in her commencement speech as well. We're going to distill it into three points.
The first one is she says, you got to leave some room for plans to change. Because they are going
to change, good things will happen, some not so good things will happen. And you're also not
locked into a path because you are graduating with that particular discipline or major. You

(22:18):
can change either by your choice or some things may be thrown your way. But be excited to embrace
it all and know that there are a lot of different possibilities ahead of you. So I think Christine,
you and I being in our careers for some time, we all have taken paths that we didn't think

(22:40):
we would take upon graduation. And you may have a certain major, you may have a certain career in
mind, and we go down different paths. And it's sort of like these games, it unlocks new doors and
new possibilities that we didn't think were there. But yet, you know, make us better. You had those
moments, right? Oh, absolutely. And I think we've said this before, like, good news, bad news, who

(23:06):
knows? Right? Yes. Until you sit in it for a while and you figure out like what's going on and how
you know you're either going to thrive in the situation or need to make a change. And yeah,
yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. So it's good to have a path, but know that you have

(23:26):
a lot of possibilities and the path can change. And that is not a bad thing. The second point she
made is drawing back to the story, find your small wave. Find the perspective that tells you new
beginnings, new possibilities are always there, especially when things may not look fantastic.

(23:50):
But you know, the possibilities are there, find your small wave. The third one is an interesting
one as well. She says build a web of deserved trust. And this is one about, I think, no matter
where we are, no matter where our standing in life is, there will be moments where we may need to

(24:14):
help others to navigate change. Or conversely, we may need help of others to navigate our own
transitions. So the trusted network, and when I say network, I don't mean it just to find a job on
LinkedIn, but a really trusted network you can call upon becomes really, really crucial. This code

(24:39):
along those lines is from the legendary businessman Charlie Munger. And he said,
the highest form which civilization can reach is a seamless web of deserved trust where
totally reliable people correctly trusting each other. That seems a bit of a utopia, very much so,

(25:02):
to take it at that scale. Having said that, I think we all can nurture and be that person
to those around us. And at some point, we are going to be the beneficiaries at other points.
We will be the givers of that. But I think having that kind of, no matter how small it may be,
the network is really key. And people call it different things, right? Trust the board of

(25:28):
advisors more from a career perspective. But I think this spirit is just looking at life in
its totality and I'm continuing to nurture that network and be that person for those around you
at a time of need. And it's going to come. Yeah. And nurture that network when you don't need
anything. I think that's super important is just, you see someone pop up on your feed.

(25:53):
This happens to me sometimes on LinkedIn where I was like, oh, I haven't talked to that person in
so long. And I'll just not always, but I try to send a note and say, oh, I just loved seeing your
face pop up. I hope all as well. And maybe strike up a little something like remember that time
where we did this, whatever, build that connection, bring it back. And a lot of goodness comes from

(26:18):
those little touch points. Yes, it does. I like those reminders. Like, so many years at this company
or this person's birthday is coming up, a couple of clicks, just know that you're thinking of
that person and celebrating their special day. Yeah, I love that. And I think you said it so well,

(26:38):
just nurturing that network when you don't need it. Because it makes it more authentic,
more genuine, and comes from a deeper place of connection than having a particular agenda. And
having an agenda is fine. Sometimes you need the agenda. Totally. Yeah, but just being there
for others and being that person others can count on you is pretty awesome. Yeah. Muge,

(27:05):
you mentioned a board of directors. And one thing I did in the past, which I think I need to start
doing again in this new chapter is I always had a mix of a board of advisors and it would be
someone 10 to 15 years younger, 10 to 15 years older, have someone in the industry I want to

(27:27):
learn about, have a former boss, you know, who really knew me well, and then have someone in my
family that I just had this, you know, implicit trust with. And I try and rotate those people,
you know, I wasn't good about every year, but like maybe every two or three years,
just to get, you know, more insights, more perspective and things, of course, would change

(27:51):
and you meet new people. The one thing I'm finding now is like tapping into those younger people
is harder because I'm just not around the option to just, you know, grab someone from the workplace
who's who's smart. But I think that there's merit in trying to do that somehow some way and just
keep yourself fresh and learning and growing. Yep, that's right. Those perspectives are invaluable

(28:18):
because they really have different dimensions. I like consulting my kids a lot. They represent
the younger generation for me. And actually what they say and how they look at things is pretty
profound. And it's different. And, you know, they know me pretty well, and it's just so spot on.

(28:40):
But it's good to go outside as well. So you get more perspective. I love that, just creating that
diversity of perspective and younger, older, you know, different walks of life. It really helps to
see things from a different way because when we are in a situation so deep, it is just hard to

(29:03):
maybe look at all the different angles of a particular situation. Yep, that's right. I love
that. So as we wind down, what are some calls to action that you think we can wrap up with,
Christine? Yeah, well, you mentioned the book on commencement speeches. I think we should link

(29:23):
that in our notes so others can take advantage of that. I think today, you know, maybe you heard
something that inspired you or made you think of someone, certainly you can share this podcast
with them or just even just share the words that we talked about as a little quote to pass along

(29:44):
to somebody who might need some inspiration. And then, you know, I think the last part is, you know,
just thinking about, you know, whether it's Federer reminding us that life is bigger than the
sport you're playing and the job you hold, you know, Lou Holt stressing always make good choices.

(30:06):
You know, these messages should resonate with us even as older adults who, you know, might be
navigating career transitions, changes. Just, you know, try and keep that mindset close.
It's never too late to adapt, grow or pursue something new.

(30:26):
Yep, that's right. That's right. I think, yeah, just take a listen and do some of the commencement
speeches of your choice. Maybe it's a favorite person or a college and almost always there will
be inspiration there because it represents hope and possibility for the future and make it our own.
So, well said. And we may have a little thinking to do as well. Maybe that's a whole different

(30:52):
topic, but it is about new beginnings and transition navigation, finding your board of advisors,
who are you going to consult with, just a brainstorm idea. So let's think about that too.
All right. This was fantastic. Love the connection and the conversation, Christine. Thank you again

(31:13):
for being my partner. Yeah, and thanks for bringing this topic forward. It was super fun to do. I
appreciate it and inspired me today. Awesome. Awesome. That's great. We are always taking on a
commencement of sorts. So, let's embrace that fully and make the most of it. It can be as,
you know, it could be a swing in a game or it could be something bigger, but enjoy and make the most

(31:40):
of it. Yeah. This is where we really need those commencement music, you know, the theme song to
like guide us out. Okay. You need the pump and circumstance, right? The college band coming in.
Yeah. That's what makes it very moving. And I love that. Yes. That's exactly right. Yes, we may

(32:02):
need to queue that up for our exit. All right. Well, with that, until next time. Till the next time.