October 31, 2024 • 36 mins
Muge and Christine reflect on the opportunity presented when we are engaged and support civic organizations. This was spurred on by the documentary "Join or DIe" by political scientist Robert D. Putnam, whose influential book Bowling Alone examined the decline of social capital and civic engagement in America. The film explores the implications of this societal shift, focusing on how the weakening of community bonds, voluntary organizations, and face-to-face social interactions has contributed to political polarization, social isolation, and a general decline in trust in public institutions.
For our listeners:
- Watch the documentary - "Join or Die"" on Netflix which emphasizes the importance of community involvement, connection, and shared experiences in strengthening society.
- Listen to the recommendations for civic organizations for the young, midlifer, and older friends and family.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to ReFirement Life, the podcast for anyone navigating life transitions or planning
(00:06):
to make life transitions to ensure your next years are your best years.
Listen in for insightful, generous, and sometimes humorous conversation.
It's time to get fired up with Christine Zamuda and Muge Wood, your hosts for this
latest episode of ReFirement Life. Episode 55. Today we're going to talk about civic engagement,
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how this impacts us as individuals and a society. I am here with my rock star co-host, Muge Wood.
We are going to just dip into some reflections from last week and then we'll start diving into
the topic. Muge, you had some travel. Tell us all about it.
Hello. Hello. Thank you, Christine. I was just thinking, a key reason why I'm doing this podcast
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is because you call me a rock star every time. That is just such a good nice start to my day.
So thank you. Since our last episode, I had a very amazing vacation. I don't know,
I would say as much as life altering, but it was incredible. So my husband and I went to Jackson
Hall, Wyoming. This was our first time and has been on our list for a long time, largely accelerated
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by the Yellowstone show, of course. But I also wanted to see Yellowstone. Just heard so much
about it, have never been. We also wanted to catch full foliage. So we made the trip. It was
incredible. It's just one of those things you can see, you can watch, you can look at pictures,
you can hear people speak, but unless you are there, the experience is unmatched.
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So I had my first visuals on bison, which was amazing. I thought bison was endangered, but
no, you could see bison herds of them everywhere and they eat sagebrush that doesn't look like
edible, but there they are. I saw moose and elk and Yellowstone was otherworldly. I got a lot of
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schooling and learning on geology and the geysers, the lakes, rivers, canyons, and it was just
spectacular. So it was a fantastic trip. And I think this tells you how I was a little ignorant.
So we arrived and we are walking to the Teton village near the hotel and I see this animal
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eating leaves off the tree. And I'm like, look at this horse. It looks like a little different. So
I started approaching the horse and my hands were like, no, no, no, you have to stop because that's
a moose. I'm like, that's a moose. Yeah, it did look a little different. So I got like three times
bigger than a horse. Right. And a little hump thing going on. I'm like, no, that's not a horse. So I
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got schooling on wildlife, geology, biology. It was incredible. It was incredible. Also to think
that how West was settled, so to speak, right, to think the foundation of how people got there and
you know, not like me traveling by car with Starbucks in my hand. So covered wagon, covered
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wagon, baby. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Like 18 in the back. Not like two people. That's
exactly right. So the majestic beauty of nature, it was incredible. Highly recommend. Highly recommend.
It's great to hear. You're the second friend of mine who's gone to Yellowstone recently and
Paul and I aren't like great, like, I don't know, National Park visitors. We've gone to the Grand Canyon.
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We usually like, you know, beach resorts and we like accidental hikes when we
we like to start walking and we find something cool, but we don't usually set out that way.
But I think I'm going to put it on my list based on what you said. Let me just say, we don't either.
Like we are more gravitating towards beach and lake and that type of thing. And I am not very
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much. Oh, let me pick up my backpack and take off on this trail for eight hours. And I just don't
operate that way. I appreciate a three to five mile walk, but it's not going to be this big
experience. And we didn't do it that way. You could, but we didn't. So we got a nice car and then
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we set our routes. So we just drove from spot to spot. And there are plenty of beautiful spots to see.
And then you can always hike. You can have a nice picnic. So you can make it what suits you.
So, but I hear you. And then the other thing, Christine, is I am so damn competitive all the
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time because they give you your annual National Park pass because you have to buy a pass to get
into the park. Now, this pass is good for a year. So we got our pass and I'm like, oh, we got the
pass now. We got to see more parks to make the use of this $50 pass. So we need to go see more parks
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now. That's good. That's good. Well, come out this way. We'll show you some parks around here.
I think so. But it needs to be like curated experience, not much exposure to wilderness,
which I know you will make it so. Yes, yes, yes. Well, the other thing you mentioned was bison.
And my husband, Paul, will be glad to hear that you call them bison, not buffalo,
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because he went to Bucknell and it's the Bucknell bison who are the mascots and he gets crazy if
anyone calls them buffalo. So I see. Well, I call them bison. That's what they call like. I am a student.
Right. I like to learn the guy said bison. We heard about it. And here is the other thing,
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Christine. We met this fascinating couple who are photographers for it ends up there. Photographers
for National Geographic because they set up these, you know, giant lenses cameras and we start talking
to them and they are out there for a whole day to catch wildlife. And she says they had a good day
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that day they caught a minute and a half of footage of this elk. I'm like, wow, that is that
requires next level patience to be able to do that. But it also helped me appreciate when we
see these pictures, documentaries, what it takes to capture those moments. Totally, totally. Yeah.
That's great to see. And the pictures you had on Facebook are stunning. So well worth the trip.
(06:48):
Well worth the trip. Yeah. So all those pictures, most of them are taken from the car. I rolled
down the window and take the picture. Nice. Well, you were in some of them. So I did see the
backdrop. I was in some of them. That's right. Well, good. I'm glad you guys had such a great time.
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Here on my side, no traveling did wrap up our tennis season. Our team did really, really well.
We think the final stats aren't in because a couple, I think one or two teams still have to do a
makeup game, but we think we're going to be in second overall the league. There's like 10 teams.
So that's not a bad showing. My personal record was 10 wins and four losses. So I think, you know,
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more wins than losses is pretty good. And the second half of it, I was, I am still like nursing
an angry Achilles. So as we get older, so crazy. And I'm like last match, I'm popping four leave.
I've had my foot on ice, my foot, my leg on ice for a few hours the night before just to make sure
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I could still play. And then I hobble off with a victory and say, okay, now I've got to rest
because I really got to let this thing heal. Wow. Congratulations. I saw your picture of tennis
group on Facebook and what a beautiful picture. And I think you may be slightly competitive in this.
So 10 wins, four losses, it's incredible. We talked about Roger Federer winning 54% of his shots.
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So but many matches. So that's that's pretty awesome. Congratulations. I and one more thing,
Christine, that kind of warmed my heart from a distance. I think you and Paul celebrated his
birthday recently. That looked that looked really fun also. Yeah, yeah. So my husband loves fried
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chicken. And when we were dating, he loved it so much as like, dude, you can't eat fried chicken
like as much as you're eating it. Like, let's just save it for special occasions, which went to his
birthday. So like, he kind of moderated and he probably would have it when I wasn't around. But
every birthday became Fried Chicken Day. And we went to this place called Hershey's, which is a
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really kind of like old timey restaurant. They had this great band, the band actually
sung to Paul when they found out it was his birthday brought out, you know, a cake,
he's big fuss and he got his great fried chicken. So that sounds like a great birthday.
It was a great birthday. Yeah, it is not exactly always a birthday wish, but Brad also loves fried
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chicken, but it's a special treat. So that sounds like an amazing birthday. And you know, on your
birthday, you should enjoy it. I think whatever it is, margarita, fried chicken, a great band.
So love seeing the picture. So happy birthday to Paul. Oh, thanks. Thanks. I will pass that along.
So let's get into the topic. I saw this documentary on Netflix. I think it just came out. It is
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called Join or Die. And it centers around the concept that Robert Putnam, he's a political
science, did years and years of research. And just he wrote a book called Bowling Alone,
which talked about the decline of civic engagement in America and how that impacts society. And
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in the time period he really talks about is in the 60s, people were much more engaged in clubs,
organizations, and as a result, there are stronger societal bonds. Certainly the individuals who
participate in those things benefit from the social capital that you have from forming relationships.
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And that benefits both personally, mentally, emotionally, but also economically. Think of
the opportunity to network and perhaps grow your business or find new roles. All of that comes
into play. And a couple of stats that he shared was first, participation in civic organizations
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like the PTA, like Rotary Clubs, Elk Lodges, or Just Examples has dropped by over 50% since the
1960s. And what kind of goes along hand in hand with that, there's a Pew Research study that showed
that Americans who frequently engaged in local community activities are 26% more likely to trust
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their neighbors than those who don't participate. One other stat is people who participate in civic
organizations are 33% more likely to vote and participate in other forms of political engagement.
So there is that kind of hand in hand of both being involved in your community, caring enough to
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show up and vote. And obviously, we've got just two weeks before a major, major election in our
country. But it's just kind of interesting, some of those figures. And I kind of look back and think
about my family and growing up and how there was just a lot more going on beyond just the normal
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day to day of running kids to soccer or your weekly church service. There was more going on
with just participating and volunteering. So I thought it'd be an interesting topic to explore.
Yeah, absolutely. I think there are a lot of studies that speak to increasing degree of
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loneliness that is taking place. And I think there was an article on New York Times on that not long
ago, and how it is damaging, especially as we age on mental health, physical health, and all the
old studies on positive health effects of social engagement. And where do we get social engagement
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from? We talked about in our prior episodes as well. It can certainly be work, it can be charity,
it can be hobbies, but a great way is civic engagement. And by the way, Christine,
you came up with this great idea. So I did a little research on what civic engagement is,
because I was a little scholarly person. So I was kind of in my mind trying to differentiate
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what civic engagement is versus community engagement. And what I read and found out is
civic engagement in its purest form could be signing up petitions, obviously voting, running for
office, and being on your neighborhood association, etc. But then it doesn't have to be only political
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angle to it. It can also be community engagement in its broader sense, meaning you help with a
neighborhood party. You help organize a food drive. I think we see this happen time and again,
natural disaster strikes and people band together to provide aid. So maybe that's not civic engagement
is pure sense, but the broader definition to me was also appealing, because when I took a stock
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of what I am doing, I'm like, okay, yeah, that's more community engagement actually.
But then the connection, right? I think when we tend to engage with the community in the way that
speaks to us, that probably opens us up for civic engagement as well. And the point you made earlier,
creating the foundation for us to connect with one another. So we can hear different perspectives,
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we can make connections, especially in times of need, and there will be time of need,
you will get to call on your network, not because you need them, but you have this
enduring relationship with people. Yeah. Yeah. And I really, I like looking at civic engagement
from the broader context, right? Because we all need this. And there's a lot of different ways,
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different forms that it shows up. And maybe even some of the things that existed in the past don't
exist today. There's an opportunity to create new ways to connect and also just be more educated
about what is already out there. And we have some examples. So when you were doing your inventory
of what you participate in, what were your thoughts, Muge, and is there anything that kind of rose
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to the top of things you would recommend to our listeners? Yeah, you know, I am reflecting on this.
And what I find is the common thread, and Kristi and I have been talking about it with our guests
in our prior episodes is, I think it has to speak to you and energize you personally. It's like
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giving, it's like volunteering, the causes that really matter to you. Because then that makes the
engagement more meaningful, more joyful, and less obligation and more participation. So, you know,
in my case, I know this is not exactly civic engagement, but I love my game of tennis and
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everything that comes with it because it is a big social element. But through that, I meet individuals
who are giving and participating that opens up new doors. So let me give you an example. So October
is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and we have a tennis mixer on ScareUpAqueer. So it has dinner
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and then it has the tennis mixer the next day. But then the benefits go to this organization
called ROSE that provides breast cancer screening, mammograms, particularly in communities who that
may not be easily available. So what a great cause. I haven't heard of this organization before,
but I am delighted to participate. And then I met another individual as an example. She is engaged
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with an organization called SEARCH who tackles the homelessness problem by providing resources,
education, and support, especially mothers and their young children who may end up needing support.
So it opens up possibilities. And then, you know, I love volunteering as well.
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You know, I am engaged with Life All Stars that is encouraging financial literacy for the youth.
I volunteer once a month at MD Anderson Cancer Center here in Houston. And it just gives you
such rich perspective and helps you think beyond yourself. But it also opens doors and
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possibilities and connections with people who you normally perhaps wouldn't have met.
Because our circles typically are work, you know, people we went to school with,
people we play tennis with. But, you know, you expand the circle and then you are hearing
different political views. You are hearing different life approaches. It just opens up the
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conversation. And I think you may touch upon that later, Christine, because you put it in our
outline is how actually civic engagement supports democracy because it opens up channels for
communication and connection in a much more human way as opposed to exchanging, you know,
bombs. Point counterpoint. Right. Because you may not know the people you are speaking with,
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but when you do, like you and I have a debate, it's going to be a lot more civil. It's going to be
a lot more balanced, even though we may not agree on everything. And that is great. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, at the end of the day, most people want the same things for their families. They want
safety. They want the opportunity to thrive, all of that. And meeting in a different setting
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really allows those connections to happen. I have two encounters with some traditional
organizations that would classify as civic engagement. And one was very positive and one
was a little interesting. So I'm going to just run through real quickly. Yeah. The first is
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this. We were invited to Knights of Columbus and Knights of Columbus does different volunteer
activities, mostly for Catholic and Christian people. And we were invited there just for a
night to see a band. And the band was a Rolling Stones impersonator. And the guy went all out
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with costumes and boas and came to our table, gave us a rendition of I'm so hot for her and she's
so cold. And it was just a great, great fun night. I like why this is going. Yes. And then two
dollar drinks, like super cheap. But like their whole mission is to get people not only not liquored
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up, but I would get people connecting and then sharing here's the volunteer activities we have.
We're going to do this habitat for humanity thing, raise money. And there's a lot of community
posting. It's like just a regular gathering place. So that was one experience. And then we've had this
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mysterious moose lodge in our area. Okay. Okay. I have an order of this one. Very interesting.
Yeah. And the moose lodge is a big organization, like nationally. And what I've heard is each chapter
has their own personality, their own kind of thing, but they are also connected. So if you're
a member of a moose lodge, you can go into any other moose lodge all over. And one night we went
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out to dinner with a couple and we were driving past the sign and my friend says, I've always wanted
to know like, what goes on in there? It's like, let's find out. Let's go. So we decided to call
an audible. We go into the place. And it was kind of like a townie, real townie bar that,
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you know, it was a little rough, I would say. And they were trying to encourage new members to join
and they had some things that were like, you know, pamphlets and saying the benefits of the national
moose lodge. And the one woman who gave the pitch was pretty good and she was very welcoming.
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But at the end, she says, well, we're having a picnic and we're having a raffle this weekend
at the picnic and we're encouraging all new members to come. And we have some really special
things that we're raffling off. I was like, Oh, what's the raffle? I like to win stuff.
Right. And one of the things she was raffling off was a AR 15.
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And AR 15 just raffling it off. I was like, Oh, okay. And I mean, I respect people who want to
have a gun in their house. I respect people who, you know, want that. That's not for me. And it
kind of freaked me the hell out. So you don't expect that in a raffle. You don't expect that in a raffle.
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Yeah. Yeah, you don't expect that in a raffle. Yeah. Yeah. So we did not join. We just quietly
drank. On the positive side, you knew what this was about. So totally. But I think that that makes
a great point because sometimes we may choose not to participate in pursuit of perfection,
or we don't know what it is about. So we are hesitant. We just don't participate. You went in
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there, you explored. Yes, some things are for us, some things are not. But finding what it is for
you will require the degree of openness and exploration. So that's what we need to do. And
I'll venture to say we each stand up for something that we are passionate about. It could be education,
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could be neighborhood development, infrastructure, healthcare. There are just so many issues that
affect us broadly that can use support and visibility. So finding going after that. But I
totally get it. It can be a miss like anything. So but kudos to you for going in there because
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I think it takes a lot of guts to do that, especially after seeing the AR-15 auction item there.
Well, we didn't know that until they told us about it. It was like, oh my goodness. Yeah. So anyway,
there are so many good opportunities, I think, for people to explore. And I try to pull a couple
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both for people in midlife, civic clubs for older adults. Many of us have parents that
might need to be more active and even for young people. So young people, there's many
organizations. A couple that stood out were United Way Young Leaders Society. I mean, United Way is a
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very prominent, productive organization that does so much to help drive volunteerism locally and
has a very strong backing and I think presence. So that's a great one. Young professionals network.
This is a great way for individuals to start like networking. You're never too young to
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start networking and learning. How do you meet people? How do you learn about their business?
How do you represent yourself? And that's just a good professional development organization.
Yeah, Rotary Club. I mean, there's a lot of Rotary Clubs that do not only local projects,
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but international projects. So could expose young people to more of the world. And then, of course,
we talked earlier about what Brad's doing and that's a great organization that targets young
people, teaches them how to be better literate in their financials, but also gives them an
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opportunity to develop professionally, right? Right, absolutely. To get on a trajectory of success.
And the impact. The other thing that come on, Christie, makes me think sometimes it can also
be discouraging because we want to make an impact. The problem is so vast. You're like, okay, what
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can I do as a single person or as even as a group of people? But I think if they narrow down the
impact and say, okay, if he can't make a difference in this small patch in this neighborhood community,
one person, two people, it is still very worthwhile. And then grow from there. So I think sometimes
don't let the grand ambition get in the way of immediate impact that we could be making. Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. There's also great opportunities for midlife adults.
Lions Club International tends to focus on areas to solve for hunger, takes on environmental projects.
And certainly it's a group that's open to all ages, but from their membership of their website,
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they tend to attract midlife professionals. Kiwanis Club is another one. And you might
recognize the Kiwanis. They wear those fez hats. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Do you know what I'm talking about? No, but I am intrigued. You are giving me a lot of ideas to
explore. Interesting. Yeah, they're usually like, I think they're maroon hats and they're kind of
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like pointed up and they have a little tassel on the top. And they're usually like raising,
I've seen them sometimes at live concerts and they'll raise money for some of their projects,
ask for donations from the public. But yeah, if you join that group, you can also get a fun hat to wear.
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There you go. And then I did do a little investigative reporting. There was one
business networking international, and I was not familiar with this organization
before doing a little bit of research here and joined one of their calls just to see what they're
all about. And they do referrals and networking. So think of these little power groups that form
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in an industry and then all have complimentary services and they're sort of measured on what
business you're bringing to the people that you're engaged with. And that's, you know,
and they're also doing community service too at the same time. So kind of an interesting,
interesting little option and they're all over the country if people are interested in looking them up.
(28:34):
That's interesting. I haven't heard of them. Yeah, I hadn't either until today.
And then the last Civic Club category I thought could be interesting is those for older adults.
You know, many of us have family members that we're looking to help stay engaged and give them,
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you know, help them with the day to day, but also like we were talking about make connections.
So there's one organization called seniors helping seniors. And this, you know, connects older adults
with volunteer opportunities that they can assist other seniors with. So, you know, nice way to give
back. I remember Paul's uncle used to volunteer at SCORE, which was a way for people with successful
(29:29):
business careers that were retired to come in and mentor other leaders of all ages. And that's a,
you know, great way to share your wisdom and stay connected to what's happening in the business world.
AARP, of course, has a huge volunteer network and lots of opportunities to not only stay on top of
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key topics that, you know, people who are aging successfully need to know about, but also some
volunteer activities. So hopefully that's just a couple ideas, food for thought, things to think
about that might be helpful to you as a listener or someone you know.
(30:13):
It's a great idea. I think, Christine, we were talking about this before we started the recording.
I read this research that says civic engagement is most seen from this group.
It tends to be more on the highly educated side, age group 55 to 64. We can see why that may be
(30:34):
the case because that group has time, energy, and love to offer based on life experiences.
So I think the ideas you shared are all good things to explore. And then for the younger
group, I love the, you know, cross-generational ideas as well. For the younger group, yes,
there's certainly activism that is happening at times on college campuses for topics that
(30:59):
people feel passionately about. But I think there's also a lot of value for youth engagement in the
community as well. And when they do engage, I love it because they have a lot of energy.
And it can be even shared and channeled in a more broader or diverse way.
(31:19):
Yeah, I totally agree. Totally agree. And like, you know, if you engage when you're young,
you've got those skills, right, that will only serve you more when you're older, right?
So good. So I guess to wrap things up, we mentioned a couple of organizations. And as we said,
you know, try things on, see what fits and see what really adds value to your lifestyle.
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But more importantly, just try and get educated. And if maybe reaching out to an organization
is too heavy of a lift, we talked about just community involvement and building connection.
And an easy, easy thing to do, I think, is to start a dinner party club, right? And any one of us
(32:10):
can do this. And I would say be a little bit adventurous. Maybe invite four couples and invite
them to invite four other couples that you don't know, just to mix it up and rotate, you know,
maybe once every two months, it doesn't even have to be once every month. Just getting people around
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the table, having a discussion, which is more substantive than just a cocktail party, I think,
is a way to really build interesting connections. That brings up another great point, because we
are talking about a lot of organizations that give you that structured way to engage. But then,
(32:56):
you know, you can host a cocktail hour or a dinner, but you got to make sure you're inviting some
people who you may not have, perhaps, invite otherwise and make sure there's a balance of
perspective. And I think they used to call those what salon party is in the past to create that
(33:18):
intellectual discussion. And you discuss, you debate, and the joy of it could even be in the
debate itself without big action and resolution. So, but all of it is active engagement.
Totally. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. So, just to close a bit on a quote, this one kind of spoke to me.
(33:44):
In every community, there's work to be done in every nation, there are wounds to heal,
in every heart, there's the power to do it. From Marianne Williamson.
So, let that. That's a beautiful way to finish. I think I may have to, like, read that couple times.
We'll send it to you while you have it in the notes. Yes, I have it in the notes. Yes,
(34:06):
it's a beautiful way to finish it. So, let's think about that. Let's take a step towards it.
I love it. Do something maybe we haven't done before. Yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. I did it this
morning with the B&I little networking group, but I like that idea of the dinner party. I think
I'm going to act on that. So, when that happens, you need to invite me. My views are very, very
(34:33):
different from mine. I'm going to create a major raucous. Yeah. It's for dinner event.
I wish you could just drive to my house, but maybe you just have to fly in. Fly in for the
weekend and we'll do it. Fly in for the weekend. I want to keep coming over to your neighborhood
so we can engage together because you are doing the art work and you're doing the tennis tournament,
(34:57):
you're eating fried chicken, you have a national park near you. I mean, you get all the makings
of joyful engagement. I got to get there. Yes, yes. We will plan it. We will plan it, my friend.
All right. So, we should sign off. Is there anything else you want to
say before we say goodbye? We're good. I will say till the next time. We have got
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some exciting episodes being planned in the works. So, look forward to the next one.
Sounds great. All right. Thanks and we'll talk to you next time.
Thank you for listening. Our hope is to spark a little joy, inspire, and educate our listeners
in ways to live an even more meaningful life. If you have reactions to share from what you've
(35:45):
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podcast player of your choice. Always remember, you are never too old to set a new goal or to
dream a new dream. Thanks again for joining us on this episode. Until next time.
Welcome to ReFirement Life, the podcast for anyone navigating life transitions or planning
(00:06):
to make life transitions to ensure your next years are your best years.
Listen in for insightful, generous, and sometimes humorous conversation.
It's time to get fired up with Christine Zamuda and Muge Wood, your hosts for this
latest episode of ReFirement Life. Episode 55. Today we're going to talk about civic engagement,
(00:36):
how this impacts us as individuals and a society. I am here with my rock star co-host, Muge Wood.
We are going to just dip into some reflections from last week and then we'll start diving into
the topic. Muge, you had some travel. Tell us all about it.
Hello. Hello. Thank you, Christine. I was just thinking, a key reason why I'm doing this podcast
(01:02):
is because you call me a rock star every time. That is just such a good nice start to my day.
So thank you. Since our last episode, I had a very amazing vacation. I don't know,
I would say as much as life altering, but it was incredible. So my husband and I went to Jackson
Hall, Wyoming. This was our first time and has been on our list for a long time, largely accelerated
(01:28):
by the Yellowstone show, of course. But I also wanted to see Yellowstone. Just heard so much
about it, have never been. We also wanted to catch full foliage. So we made the trip. It was
incredible. It's just one of those things you can see, you can watch, you can look at pictures,
you can hear people speak, but unless you are there, the experience is unmatched.
(01:52):
So I had my first visuals on bison, which was amazing. I thought bison was endangered, but
no, you could see bison herds of them everywhere and they eat sagebrush that doesn't look like
edible, but there they are. I saw moose and elk and Yellowstone was otherworldly. I got a lot of
(02:16):
schooling and learning on geology and the geysers, the lakes, rivers, canyons, and it was just
spectacular. So it was a fantastic trip. And I think this tells you how I was a little ignorant.
So we arrived and we are walking to the Teton village near the hotel and I see this animal
(02:39):
eating leaves off the tree. And I'm like, look at this horse. It looks like a little different. So
I started approaching the horse and my hands were like, no, no, no, you have to stop because that's
a moose. I'm like, that's a moose. Yeah, it did look a little different. So I got like three times
bigger than a horse. Right. And a little hump thing going on. I'm like, no, that's not a horse. So I
(03:03):
got schooling on wildlife, geology, biology. It was incredible. It was incredible. Also to think
that how West was settled, so to speak, right, to think the foundation of how people got there and
you know, not like me traveling by car with Starbucks in my hand. So covered wagon, covered
(03:27):
wagon, baby. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Like 18 in the back. Not like two people. That's
exactly right. So the majestic beauty of nature, it was incredible. Highly recommend. Highly recommend.
It's great to hear. You're the second friend of mine who's gone to Yellowstone recently and
Paul and I aren't like great, like, I don't know, National Park visitors. We've gone to the Grand Canyon.
(03:52):
We usually like, you know, beach resorts and we like accidental hikes when we
we like to start walking and we find something cool, but we don't usually set out that way.
But I think I'm going to put it on my list based on what you said. Let me just say, we don't either.
Like we are more gravitating towards beach and lake and that type of thing. And I am not very
(04:15):
much. Oh, let me pick up my backpack and take off on this trail for eight hours. And I just don't
operate that way. I appreciate a three to five mile walk, but it's not going to be this big
experience. And we didn't do it that way. You could, but we didn't. So we got a nice car and then
(04:36):
we set our routes. So we just drove from spot to spot. And there are plenty of beautiful spots to see.
And then you can always hike. You can have a nice picnic. So you can make it what suits you.
So, but I hear you. And then the other thing, Christine, is I am so damn competitive all the
(04:56):
time because they give you your annual National Park pass because you have to buy a pass to get
into the park. Now, this pass is good for a year. So we got our pass and I'm like, oh, we got the
pass now. We got to see more parks to make the use of this $50 pass. So we need to go see more parks
(05:17):
now. That's good. That's good. Well, come out this way. We'll show you some parks around here.
I think so. But it needs to be like curated experience, not much exposure to wilderness,
which I know you will make it so. Yes, yes, yes. Well, the other thing you mentioned was bison.
And my husband, Paul, will be glad to hear that you call them bison, not buffalo,
(05:41):
because he went to Bucknell and it's the Bucknell bison who are the mascots and he gets crazy if
anyone calls them buffalo. So I see. Well, I call them bison. That's what they call like. I am a student.
Right. I like to learn the guy said bison. We heard about it. And here is the other thing,
(06:02):
Christine. We met this fascinating couple who are photographers for it ends up there. Photographers
for National Geographic because they set up these, you know, giant lenses cameras and we start talking
to them and they are out there for a whole day to catch wildlife. And she says they had a good day
(06:24):
that day they caught a minute and a half of footage of this elk. I'm like, wow, that is that
requires next level patience to be able to do that. But it also helped me appreciate when we
see these pictures, documentaries, what it takes to capture those moments. Totally, totally. Yeah.
That's great to see. And the pictures you had on Facebook are stunning. So well worth the trip.
(06:48):
Well worth the trip. Yeah. So all those pictures, most of them are taken from the car. I rolled
down the window and take the picture. Nice. Well, you were in some of them. So I did see the
backdrop. I was in some of them. That's right. Well, good. I'm glad you guys had such a great time.
(07:11):
Here on my side, no traveling did wrap up our tennis season. Our team did really, really well.
We think the final stats aren't in because a couple, I think one or two teams still have to do a
makeup game, but we think we're going to be in second overall the league. There's like 10 teams.
So that's not a bad showing. My personal record was 10 wins and four losses. So I think, you know,
(07:33):
more wins than losses is pretty good. And the second half of it, I was, I am still like nursing
an angry Achilles. So as we get older, so crazy. And I'm like last match, I'm popping four leave.
I've had my foot on ice, my foot, my leg on ice for a few hours the night before just to make sure
(07:57):
I could still play. And then I hobble off with a victory and say, okay, now I've got to rest
because I really got to let this thing heal. Wow. Congratulations. I saw your picture of tennis
group on Facebook and what a beautiful picture. And I think you may be slightly competitive in this.
So 10 wins, four losses, it's incredible. We talked about Roger Federer winning 54% of his shots.
(08:26):
So but many matches. So that's that's pretty awesome. Congratulations. I and one more thing,
Christine, that kind of warmed my heart from a distance. I think you and Paul celebrated his
birthday recently. That looked that looked really fun also. Yeah, yeah. So my husband loves fried
(08:47):
chicken. And when we were dating, he loved it so much as like, dude, you can't eat fried chicken
like as much as you're eating it. Like, let's just save it for special occasions, which went to his
birthday. So like, he kind of moderated and he probably would have it when I wasn't around. But
every birthday became Fried Chicken Day. And we went to this place called Hershey's, which is a
(09:09):
really kind of like old timey restaurant. They had this great band, the band actually
sung to Paul when they found out it was his birthday brought out, you know, a cake,
he's big fuss and he got his great fried chicken. So that sounds like a great birthday.
It was a great birthday. Yeah, it is not exactly always a birthday wish, but Brad also loves fried
(09:32):
chicken, but it's a special treat. So that sounds like an amazing birthday. And you know, on your
birthday, you should enjoy it. I think whatever it is, margarita, fried chicken, a great band.
So love seeing the picture. So happy birthday to Paul. Oh, thanks. Thanks. I will pass that along.
So let's get into the topic. I saw this documentary on Netflix. I think it just came out. It is
(09:56):
called Join or Die. And it centers around the concept that Robert Putnam, he's a political
science, did years and years of research. And just he wrote a book called Bowling Alone,
which talked about the decline of civic engagement in America and how that impacts society. And
(10:23):
in the time period he really talks about is in the 60s, people were much more engaged in clubs,
organizations, and as a result, there are stronger societal bonds. Certainly the individuals who
participate in those things benefit from the social capital that you have from forming relationships.
(10:49):
And that benefits both personally, mentally, emotionally, but also economically. Think of
the opportunity to network and perhaps grow your business or find new roles. All of that comes
into play. And a couple of stats that he shared was first, participation in civic organizations
(11:14):
like the PTA, like Rotary Clubs, Elk Lodges, or Just Examples has dropped by over 50% since the
1960s. And what kind of goes along hand in hand with that, there's a Pew Research study that showed
that Americans who frequently engaged in local community activities are 26% more likely to trust
(11:40):
their neighbors than those who don't participate. One other stat is people who participate in civic
organizations are 33% more likely to vote and participate in other forms of political engagement.
So there is that kind of hand in hand of both being involved in your community, caring enough to
(12:03):
show up and vote. And obviously, we've got just two weeks before a major, major election in our
country. But it's just kind of interesting, some of those figures. And I kind of look back and think
about my family and growing up and how there was just a lot more going on beyond just the normal
(12:28):
day to day of running kids to soccer or your weekly church service. There was more going on
with just participating and volunteering. So I thought it'd be an interesting topic to explore.
Yeah, absolutely. I think there are a lot of studies that speak to increasing degree of
(12:53):
loneliness that is taking place. And I think there was an article on New York Times on that not long
ago, and how it is damaging, especially as we age on mental health, physical health, and all the
old studies on positive health effects of social engagement. And where do we get social engagement
(13:15):
from? We talked about in our prior episodes as well. It can certainly be work, it can be charity,
it can be hobbies, but a great way is civic engagement. And by the way, Christine,
you came up with this great idea. So I did a little research on what civic engagement is,
because I was a little scholarly person. So I was kind of in my mind trying to differentiate
(13:43):
what civic engagement is versus community engagement. And what I read and found out is
civic engagement in its purest form could be signing up petitions, obviously voting, running for
office, and being on your neighborhood association, etc. But then it doesn't have to be only political
(14:13):
angle to it. It can also be community engagement in its broader sense, meaning you help with a
neighborhood party. You help organize a food drive. I think we see this happen time and again,
natural disaster strikes and people band together to provide aid. So maybe that's not civic engagement
is pure sense, but the broader definition to me was also appealing, because when I took a stock
(14:38):
of what I am doing, I'm like, okay, yeah, that's more community engagement actually.
But then the connection, right? I think when we tend to engage with the community in the way that
speaks to us, that probably opens us up for civic engagement as well. And the point you made earlier,
creating the foundation for us to connect with one another. So we can hear different perspectives,
(15:04):
we can make connections, especially in times of need, and there will be time of need,
you will get to call on your network, not because you need them, but you have this
enduring relationship with people. Yeah. Yeah. And I really, I like looking at civic engagement
from the broader context, right? Because we all need this. And there's a lot of different ways,
(15:31):
different forms that it shows up. And maybe even some of the things that existed in the past don't
exist today. There's an opportunity to create new ways to connect and also just be more educated
about what is already out there. And we have some examples. So when you were doing your inventory
of what you participate in, what were your thoughts, Muge, and is there anything that kind of rose
(15:55):
to the top of things you would recommend to our listeners? Yeah, you know, I am reflecting on this.
And what I find is the common thread, and Kristi and I have been talking about it with our guests
in our prior episodes is, I think it has to speak to you and energize you personally. It's like
(16:16):
giving, it's like volunteering, the causes that really matter to you. Because then that makes the
engagement more meaningful, more joyful, and less obligation and more participation. So, you know,
in my case, I know this is not exactly civic engagement, but I love my game of tennis and
(16:37):
everything that comes with it because it is a big social element. But through that, I meet individuals
who are giving and participating that opens up new doors. So let me give you an example. So October
is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and we have a tennis mixer on ScareUpAqueer. So it has dinner
(17:00):
and then it has the tennis mixer the next day. But then the benefits go to this organization
called ROSE that provides breast cancer screening, mammograms, particularly in communities who that
may not be easily available. So what a great cause. I haven't heard of this organization before,
but I am delighted to participate. And then I met another individual as an example. She is engaged
(17:25):
with an organization called SEARCH who tackles the homelessness problem by providing resources,
education, and support, especially mothers and their young children who may end up needing support.
So it opens up possibilities. And then, you know, I love volunteering as well.
(17:47):
You know, I am engaged with Life All Stars that is encouraging financial literacy for the youth.
I volunteer once a month at MD Anderson Cancer Center here in Houston. And it just gives you
such rich perspective and helps you think beyond yourself. But it also opens doors and
(18:09):
possibilities and connections with people who you normally perhaps wouldn't have met.
Because our circles typically are work, you know, people we went to school with,
people we play tennis with. But, you know, you expand the circle and then you are hearing
different political views. You are hearing different life approaches. It just opens up the
(18:32):
conversation. And I think you may touch upon that later, Christine, because you put it in our
outline is how actually civic engagement supports democracy because it opens up channels for
communication and connection in a much more human way as opposed to exchanging, you know,
bombs. Point counterpoint. Right. Because you may not know the people you are speaking with,
(18:59):
but when you do, like you and I have a debate, it's going to be a lot more civil. It's going to be
a lot more balanced, even though we may not agree on everything. And that is great. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, at the end of the day, most people want the same things for their families. They want
safety. They want the opportunity to thrive, all of that. And meeting in a different setting
(19:20):
really allows those connections to happen. I have two encounters with some traditional
organizations that would classify as civic engagement. And one was very positive and one
was a little interesting. So I'm going to just run through real quickly. Yeah. The first is
(19:43):
this. We were invited to Knights of Columbus and Knights of Columbus does different volunteer
activities, mostly for Catholic and Christian people. And we were invited there just for a
night to see a band. And the band was a Rolling Stones impersonator. And the guy went all out
(20:07):
with costumes and boas and came to our table, gave us a rendition of I'm so hot for her and she's
so cold. And it was just a great, great fun night. I like why this is going. Yes. And then two
dollar drinks, like super cheap. But like their whole mission is to get people not only not liquored
(20:34):
up, but I would get people connecting and then sharing here's the volunteer activities we have.
We're going to do this habitat for humanity thing, raise money. And there's a lot of community
posting. It's like just a regular gathering place. So that was one experience. And then we've had this
(20:55):
mysterious moose lodge in our area. Okay. Okay. I have an order of this one. Very interesting.
Yeah. And the moose lodge is a big organization, like nationally. And what I've heard is each chapter
has their own personality, their own kind of thing, but they are also connected. So if you're
a member of a moose lodge, you can go into any other moose lodge all over. And one night we went
(21:20):
out to dinner with a couple and we were driving past the sign and my friend says, I've always wanted
to know like, what goes on in there? It's like, let's find out. Let's go. So we decided to call
an audible. We go into the place. And it was kind of like a townie, real townie bar that,
(21:41):
you know, it was a little rough, I would say. And they were trying to encourage new members to join
and they had some things that were like, you know, pamphlets and saying the benefits of the national
moose lodge. And the one woman who gave the pitch was pretty good and she was very welcoming.
(22:03):
But at the end, she says, well, we're having a picnic and we're having a raffle this weekend
at the picnic and we're encouraging all new members to come. And we have some really special
things that we're raffling off. I was like, Oh, what's the raffle? I like to win stuff.
Right. And one of the things she was raffling off was a AR 15.
(22:27):
And AR 15 just raffling it off. I was like, Oh, okay. And I mean, I respect people who want to
have a gun in their house. I respect people who, you know, want that. That's not for me. And it
kind of freaked me the hell out. So you don't expect that in a raffle. You don't expect that in a raffle.
(22:48):
Yeah. Yeah, you don't expect that in a raffle. Yeah. Yeah. So we did not join. We just quietly
drank. On the positive side, you knew what this was about. So totally. But I think that that makes
a great point because sometimes we may choose not to participate in pursuit of perfection,
or we don't know what it is about. So we are hesitant. We just don't participate. You went in
(23:13):
there, you explored. Yes, some things are for us, some things are not. But finding what it is for
you will require the degree of openness and exploration. So that's what we need to do. And
I'll venture to say we each stand up for something that we are passionate about. It could be education,
(23:33):
could be neighborhood development, infrastructure, healthcare. There are just so many issues that
affect us broadly that can use support and visibility. So finding going after that. But I
totally get it. It can be a miss like anything. So but kudos to you for going in there because
(23:53):
I think it takes a lot of guts to do that, especially after seeing the AR-15 auction item there.
Well, we didn't know that until they told us about it. It was like, oh my goodness. Yeah. So anyway,
there are so many good opportunities, I think, for people to explore. And I try to pull a couple
(24:14):
both for people in midlife, civic clubs for older adults. Many of us have parents that
might need to be more active and even for young people. So young people, there's many
organizations. A couple that stood out were United Way Young Leaders Society. I mean, United Way is a
(24:38):
very prominent, productive organization that does so much to help drive volunteerism locally and
has a very strong backing and I think presence. So that's a great one. Young professionals network.
This is a great way for individuals to start like networking. You're never too young to
(25:03):
start networking and learning. How do you meet people? How do you learn about their business?
How do you represent yourself? And that's just a good professional development organization.
Yeah, Rotary Club. I mean, there's a lot of Rotary Clubs that do not only local projects,
(25:24):
but international projects. So could expose young people to more of the world. And then, of course,
we talked earlier about what Brad's doing and that's a great organization that targets young
people, teaches them how to be better literate in their financials, but also gives them an
(25:45):
opportunity to develop professionally, right? Right, absolutely. To get on a trajectory of success.
And the impact. The other thing that come on, Christie, makes me think sometimes it can also
be discouraging because we want to make an impact. The problem is so vast. You're like, okay, what
(26:05):
can I do as a single person or as even as a group of people? But I think if they narrow down the
impact and say, okay, if he can't make a difference in this small patch in this neighborhood community,
one person, two people, it is still very worthwhile. And then grow from there. So I think sometimes
don't let the grand ambition get in the way of immediate impact that we could be making. Yeah.
(26:31):
Yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. There's also great opportunities for midlife adults.
Lions Club International tends to focus on areas to solve for hunger, takes on environmental projects.
And certainly it's a group that's open to all ages, but from their membership of their website,
(26:53):
they tend to attract midlife professionals. Kiwanis Club is another one. And you might
recognize the Kiwanis. They wear those fez hats. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Do you know what I'm talking about? No, but I am intrigued. You are giving me a lot of ideas to
explore. Interesting. Yeah, they're usually like, I think they're maroon hats and they're kind of
(27:19):
like pointed up and they have a little tassel on the top. And they're usually like raising,
I've seen them sometimes at live concerts and they'll raise money for some of their projects,
ask for donations from the public. But yeah, if you join that group, you can also get a fun hat to wear.
(27:41):
There you go. And then I did do a little investigative reporting. There was one
business networking international, and I was not familiar with this organization
before doing a little bit of research here and joined one of their calls just to see what they're
all about. And they do referrals and networking. So think of these little power groups that form
(28:08):
in an industry and then all have complimentary services and they're sort of measured on what
business you're bringing to the people that you're engaged with. And that's, you know,
and they're also doing community service too at the same time. So kind of an interesting,
interesting little option and they're all over the country if people are interested in looking them up.
(28:34):
That's interesting. I haven't heard of them. Yeah, I hadn't either until today.
And then the last Civic Club category I thought could be interesting is those for older adults.
You know, many of us have family members that we're looking to help stay engaged and give them,
(28:57):
you know, help them with the day to day, but also like we were talking about make connections.
So there's one organization called seniors helping seniors. And this, you know, connects older adults
with volunteer opportunities that they can assist other seniors with. So, you know, nice way to give
back. I remember Paul's uncle used to volunteer at SCORE, which was a way for people with successful
(29:29):
business careers that were retired to come in and mentor other leaders of all ages. And that's a,
you know, great way to share your wisdom and stay connected to what's happening in the business world.
AARP, of course, has a huge volunteer network and lots of opportunities to not only stay on top of
(29:52):
key topics that, you know, people who are aging successfully need to know about, but also some
volunteer activities. So hopefully that's just a couple ideas, food for thought, things to think
about that might be helpful to you as a listener or someone you know.
(30:13):
It's a great idea. I think, Christine, we were talking about this before we started the recording.
I read this research that says civic engagement is most seen from this group.
It tends to be more on the highly educated side, age group 55 to 64. We can see why that may be
(30:34):
the case because that group has time, energy, and love to offer based on life experiences.
So I think the ideas you shared are all good things to explore. And then for the younger
group, I love the, you know, cross-generational ideas as well. For the younger group, yes,
there's certainly activism that is happening at times on college campuses for topics that
(30:59):
people feel passionately about. But I think there's also a lot of value for youth engagement in the
community as well. And when they do engage, I love it because they have a lot of energy.
And it can be even shared and channeled in a more broader or diverse way.
(31:19):
Yeah, I totally agree. Totally agree. And like, you know, if you engage when you're young,
you've got those skills, right, that will only serve you more when you're older, right?
So good. So I guess to wrap things up, we mentioned a couple of organizations. And as we said,
you know, try things on, see what fits and see what really adds value to your lifestyle.
(31:45):
But more importantly, just try and get educated. And if maybe reaching out to an organization
is too heavy of a lift, we talked about just community involvement and building connection.
And an easy, easy thing to do, I think, is to start a dinner party club, right? And any one of us
(32:10):
can do this. And I would say be a little bit adventurous. Maybe invite four couples and invite
them to invite four other couples that you don't know, just to mix it up and rotate, you know,
maybe once every two months, it doesn't even have to be once every month. Just getting people around
(32:31):
the table, having a discussion, which is more substantive than just a cocktail party, I think,
is a way to really build interesting connections. That brings up another great point, because we
are talking about a lot of organizations that give you that structured way to engage. But then,
(32:56):
you know, you can host a cocktail hour or a dinner, but you got to make sure you're inviting some
people who you may not have, perhaps, invite otherwise and make sure there's a balance of
perspective. And I think they used to call those what salon party is in the past to create that
(33:18):
intellectual discussion. And you discuss, you debate, and the joy of it could even be in the
debate itself without big action and resolution. So, but all of it is active engagement.
Totally. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. So, just to close a bit on a quote, this one kind of spoke to me.
(33:44):
In every community, there's work to be done in every nation, there are wounds to heal,
in every heart, there's the power to do it. From Marianne Williamson.
So, let that. That's a beautiful way to finish. I think I may have to, like, read that couple times.
We'll send it to you while you have it in the notes. Yes, I have it in the notes. Yes,
(34:06):
it's a beautiful way to finish it. So, let's think about that. Let's take a step towards it.
I love it. Do something maybe we haven't done before. Yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. I did it this
morning with the B&I little networking group, but I like that idea of the dinner party. I think
I'm going to act on that. So, when that happens, you need to invite me. My views are very, very
(34:33):
different from mine. I'm going to create a major raucous. Yeah. It's for dinner event.
I wish you could just drive to my house, but maybe you just have to fly in. Fly in for the
weekend and we'll do it. Fly in for the weekend. I want to keep coming over to your neighborhood
so we can engage together because you are doing the art work and you're doing the tennis tournament,
(34:57):
you're eating fried chicken, you have a national park near you. I mean, you get all the makings
of joyful engagement. I got to get there. Yes, yes. We will plan it. We will plan it, my friend.
All right. So, we should sign off. Is there anything else you want to
say before we say goodbye? We're good. I will say till the next time. We have got
(35:20):
some exciting episodes being planned in the works. So, look forward to the next one.
Sounds great. All right. Thanks and we'll talk to you next time.
Thank you for listening. Our hope is to spark a little joy, inspire, and educate our listeners
in ways to live an even more meaningful life. If you have reactions to share from what you've
(35:45):
heard, please visit our website, refinement.life to leave a voice message. You may even be featured
in a future episode. To keep in touch, subscribe to our podcast, Re-Firement Life, using the
podcast player of your choice. Always remember, you are never too old to set a new goal or to
dream a new dream. Thanks again for joining us on this episode. Until next time.
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Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Betrayal: Season 4
Karoline Borega married a man of honor – a respected Colorado Springs Police officer. She knew there would be sacrifices to accommodate her husband’s career. But she had no idea that he was using his badge to fool everyone. This season, we expose a man who swore two sacred oaths—one to his badge, one to his bride—and broke them both. We follow Karoline as she questions everything she thought she knew about her partner of over 20 years. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-3 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.