Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:
Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?
Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.
This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.
In this episode, we cover:
- The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
- Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
- How to become an emotional safe space for your son
- What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
- Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
- The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
- How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
- Why parents’ own emotional work matters
- Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust
Read our blog post about this topic:
https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/
Learn more from Brendan below:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/
Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast
Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:
https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone
Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions
Email: info@curiousneuron.com
📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group
🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube
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