June 15, 2023 • 33 mins
Have you ever wondered how emotional intelligence can go wrong in the workplace? In this episode Reggie and Lora, a seasoned social worker, look into the potential pitfalls of emotional intelligence in professional settings.
Discover when it's best to step away and let someone find the help they need on their own, as we share our experiences and Laura's expertise on navigating these complex situations.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
It's Reggie Natale, coming to you from a lovely city
of Atlanta, georgia, going outto Laura in Texas, and you're in
San Antonio, texas, today,though you say you might not be
long you might be leaving theresoon.
There, Laura, you're a woman onthe move.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Who knows where you'll be next time.
We have a conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I really am.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Yes, really am.
I was in Austin yesterday, soyes, What's your next on town?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
So what are the?
if you have to live in Texas,for people who want to move
there?
what are the best towns to livethere, Because you're in quite
a bit of them?
So, what are your best townsthere?
Have you lived in Dallas, Fort?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Worth.
I lived all over.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Texas.
So okay, so you've been inDallas, fort Worth, okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We're very long time.
I love Dallas and I think itdepends on kind of what you're
looking for.
Austin is really a very prettycity.
Of course it's the capital.
It's got a lot of hills, It'spart of a hill country.
Texas is really beautiful.
It kind of mimics California.
(01:13):
I think it really is somethingthat a lot of Californians,
except for the heat, love aboutAustin Houston metropolitan.
it is probably, if not numberone, number two in the nation as
far as diversity.
Really, We'll talk aboutdifferent ethnic groups.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes, I didn't know that It is.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Fort Worth County a few years ago was the most
diverse county in nation.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Which is Fort Worth County, is in Houston.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yes, i love my diversity, mr.
Diversity over here, i love it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It's extremely diverse, extremely diverse, but
populated, well populated Forsure.
Then you have Dallas.
It's gorgeous, it's pretty.
You get the big city but it'sstill very clean and very pretty
.
Then there's San Antonio.
We talked about this earlier.
It is a very large Hispanicpopulation.
(02:14):
The culture and the roots arevery.
everything is very from Mexicoand very you've got Aztec and of
course you've got the Alamo,it's a lot of that culture there
.
Beautiful city, yes, but it'smore.
I would say it's a tourist town, definitely.
(02:35):
Really, there is a little bitof something for everyone in
Texas.
Yes, it's a nice state.
It's very hot and you stillkind of deal with good old boy
mentality in these little towns.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I think you can get that at a lot of states in the
South especially.
I don't come from where I'mfrom.
I'm in Atlanta, georgia.
We know all about thosesituations here.
One of the things I wanted totalk about today, or I would say
, the thing I want to talk-about today because we've done
so many emotional intelligenceshows.
I have you on all these showsbecause I want to tap into that
(03:13):
in your social worker that seemsto live inside of you there.
You know those social workers,man.
They want to save the world.
man I work with a couple.
They want to save the earth man.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Anybody is saveable to a lot of social workers.
I think from a general humanitystandpoint, it's admirable to
have that point of view.
What we're going to tap intotoday is more kind of like the
other side.
I'm going to take the otherside here.
I'll play devil's advocate,more so on the when does the
emotional intelligence go wrong?
We've talked about this also inother ways, but we've never
(03:45):
talked about it specifically.
We've talked about this in wayswhere, when you would talk
about past social work jobsyou've had where you might just
have that person that just won'tsay do right, for a better,
lack of better phrase.
They just can't seem to get ontrack.
no matter how much time andeffort that you put into a
person, i feel like you can onlydo so much for any person,
(04:08):
whether it's a coworker or afriend of mine, a family member.
I feel the same about thisacross the board, because I feel
like people are going to haveto want something for themselves
in order to get to certainplaces in life, even if it's
something small.
everybody maybe need help everynow and then.
I don't mind giving them helpWhere this has.
(04:31):
The reason this subject hascome up for me is because I've
had times in business where Ididn't know if that really
served everybody.
right, when you're trying toextend so much emotional
intelligence to one person,that's just not a great bit for
any organization or somethinglike that.
(04:51):
I'm pretty sure you've seenthis from a leadership
standpoint, where you might havea team, you may have a person
and maybe even like the person,but they're not necessarily
great for the organization, forthe team in general.
You know what I mean.
Stuff like that I'm going toask you the basic question first
, and then we'll kind of diginto specifics.
Do you think there's times whenthere's just too much emotional
(05:12):
intelligence, or do you thinkthere's times where that can go
wrong?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Absolutely, absolutely.
That's coming from a person whoreally will go above and beyond
what the average person will doto try to help someone.
But they're absolutely peopleand moments and times and
(05:38):
situations that you have to sayyou know I want this more for
this person than they do.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
And you really have to step away.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah.
So let's talk about thedifferent times, because I'm
pretty sure you've seen this indifferent areas, so let's talk
about it.
And how did you know to do thatfrom a social worker standpoint
?
Because it would seem like froma profession that that's
literally what the job is, right, you're there to work with
certain elements of society andhopefully give them a boost in
the areas that they need it.
(06:13):
When did you know that it wasn'treally working?
Like did they just stop showingup?
How did you know that a causewas so what of a lost cause?
Because, you know, nobody everwants to think anything.
whether it's a task, a job, aperson is a lost cause, but that
doesn't mean that they don'texist.
So how did you kind of likereconcile those two feelings
(06:34):
with yourself when you were inthat social work setting?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well, i will say this when I first started out and I
think I can speak for a lot ofpeople in this profession you do
think that you get into it forcertain reasons.
right, it doesn't pay.
well, you are dealing with humannature And they're real loves,
which is all over the place,which is, yeah, it can be
emotionally draining, especiallywhen you're dealing with really
(07:02):
really tough situations thatare very, you know, just
emotional, tough situations.
So people who get into theprofession really have a passion
for making a difference and forchange, social change, and you
know so, for me it was prettyearly in my career and it didn't
(07:28):
happen.
It happened because the clientsthat I was working with ended up
, you know, just kind of likenot taking any of the help and
doing the total opposite andgetting right back into a
situation that I had worked,along with some other people,
really, really hard to get herout of.
(07:51):
And it was it changed.
It was personally andprofessionally eye-opening and
hurtful, but I'm so glad that ithappened and I had a really
wise boss who kind of explainedhow, if I were to be successful
(08:14):
in this field, how I needed tonavigate through this field and
what I needed to do, and it madeperfect sense when he said that
It was like an epiphany for me.
You know, like do you want tohelp one person and exhaust all
of your energy and yourresources and your time into
(08:34):
this one person who you know?
you know, just like a badrelationship with the red flag.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You see him.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
You know is not going to get there, or do you want to
put your resources and yourenergy and your time and your
knowledge and your passion andcompassion into someone who just
needs a little bit of help anda little bit of push, you know,
a gentle push.
That way you can help morepeople.
And I had to decide right there, even though I will tell you I
(09:04):
really still wanted to, you know, get that person who everyone
else gave up on.
But I had to professionally say, like, what is going to help
more people, What is going tomake a bigger impact?
And so that's what it was.
(09:25):
But I think, you know, just formy own personal reasons, being
hurt and going through somethings, it really is tough for
me to not go for the person whoeveryone fit.
Nope, There is no helping thatAnd I refuse to get caught up in
that.
So, yeah, I slip.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
That's just the natural.
That's the natural social work.
That's why I said it's in you,no matter what job you do.
I feel like I don't know ifthat is air.
I don't think that's going toleave you because of what you
did, the reasons that you saidearlier.
You'd only get into that if youfeel a certain kind of way
about helping people.
And I don't feel like, even ifyou change jobs, that innate
feeling goes away.
I fight that innate feeling isstill there.
Maybe it's adjusted one way orthe other, but I feel like it's
(10:11):
still somewhat still there.
Now you looked, you were alsohad people that you manage and
stuff like this.
And I'm going to look at thisfrom a leadership standpoint,
because this is where I've seenit, maybe you can bring this up
on the show is I've seen this gohorribly wrong in leadership
perspectives, in leadership andfrom a leadership perspective.
You can have people that youwork with, and the way that I
(10:33):
always look at this is I have totreat all of my teammates the
same.
After treating them same, holdthem to the same standard.
Anyway, i should say I'm notgoing to treat them the same
because people who are betterI'm going to treat better.
You know, i'm going to treatyou kind of like how what your
work dictates you should betreated.
If one person's showing up ontime or early all the time and
(10:53):
they're out performing, i'm notgoing to treat them the same as
the person who shows up late inhis underperforming Like that
doesn't make sense.
But I'm going to treat themfairly though.
So they're all going to gettreated fairly.
I'm not going to play favoritesor anything like that, so the
playing favorite is kind ofwhere I'm going to.
So, yeah, let's say that youhave a staff and let's say you
have like 30 people on the staffand you have a couple of bad
(11:16):
apples in there.
I've seen HR departments goabove and beyond to accommodate
the bad apples, even when theywere being kind of like a cancer
to the job.
Like everybody else, they'rebringing down morale.
These people are always seem tohave a reason to why they can't
accomplish things.
When you have a sympathetic HRdepartment that kind of lets
(11:37):
that go for an extended periodof time, at what point, laura,
do you feel like it's not fairto the other people there, like
how much help should you beextending to these people before
?
you just got to pull the plugfor the better of the team, so
to speak.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, So you know, this is being in social work and
then kind of going into thissupervisory role and then coming
off of the quiet quitting.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
You know, i think one of the reasons and not to
mention this this time thatwe're in right now, i think
we'll the reasons.
you know it's easy to say, wow,hr is really letting this
person to buy gold folk, but Ido remember a time when needing
people so bad that you werewilling to look over and feel
(12:32):
them being late every day.
Absolutely, you needed thatperson.
You really did need that person.
And then the other thing ispeople you know.
There was a time where you werevery conscious of the job you
did.
You gave it to a weak notice.
People don't do that anymore.
Hr is not allowed to say thatsomeone was not good or great,
(12:52):
or only allowed to say when thatperson works there, maybe if
they, you know, are rehireable.
Yeah, people can sue their HR,And so I think they're very
afraid of you know, litigationand going to court and saying
that's your name, you know theytreat people bad.
And now, of course, you knowthey made me work 41 hours, you
(13:12):
know, and there's no work lifebalance.
And so now you want to, youknow you want to be that
employer that is really.
You know.
We care about work life balanceand PTO and things like that.
So I think that is where HRkind of stands right now.
They're very under-tyed.
But as far as supervisingpeople and you've got that
person or people who are notdoing what they need to do it it
(13:36):
there is nothing that runs areally great employee off like
seeing employees who do bareminimum, get that, not get, you
know, nothing happens.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yeah, not be held accountable, Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
There is nothing that makes people feel horrible.
And so at some point, even whenyou need people, like you have
to be able to say I cannot allowthis, because it really is
setting a bad example for it Andit's for the people who are
doing the right thing.
That's frustrating.
And so, again, you have to sayto yourself okay, you know,
(14:19):
what's more important here Is itdo I really need these, these
people or person so bad that I'mwilling to accept this, this,
this, this?
And you really have to askthose tough questions And if not
, like you really have to letthem go.
And, of course, you have to doit the right way.
But you know, which also meansif I let you do this for a year
(14:43):
and then all of a sudden I'mlike listen, this is not working
.
And you're like you know theyare like well, for 365 days it's
been working.
So you know it's tough, like Ithink you've got to knit that in
the bud really really quickly.
Me too, and not let it go on Ifyou can you know everybody's not
able to do that, but if you can, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I think you bring up a solid point And I want to pick
it back off the other pointabout okay, you have the HR
situation where you're eithersuch so so risk averse from a
litigation standpoint it is thatsomebody get away with murder
or you have situations where youneed the bodies And you're like
, well, i need the body, so I'mgoing to keep this person around
, but what ends up happening isjust like what you said it runs
(15:31):
off other people.
So what do you end up doing isyou keep one person, but then
you who?
you don't know how many peopleyou've ran off.
You know, because a lot ofpeople just quit and they don't
really give you a real reason oranything like that.
But they've complained aboutthis person constantly to fellow
co workers, you know.
But it just seems likemanagement deaf ears on
management and to a lot of times, from a management standpoint,
(15:55):
they're not the ones having todirectly to directly work with
the people you know, so they can.
It's easy for them to say an HRdepartment to be like, hey, well
, yeah, you just got to find away to get along.
You guys don't have to like.
Remember that, remember thatphrase.
You guys have to like eachother.
You just got to kind of find away to get along.
That's forget about that.
Like you don't.
You don't have to like eachother, but that's, to me, just a
way to sweep everything underthe rug that a person does.
(16:16):
You know.
Of course you don't have tolike.
I don't even think you have.
That even goes.
That goes without saying.
Of course you don't have tolike person, but a person should
be forced to do at least 80% ofthe job that I'm doing because
I'm getting we're getting paidsimilar.
So I don't want to come in andsee a person who's just not
carrying their weight but isstill sitting at the same table
(16:37):
as the rest of us who are andnot being held accountable.
And I do believe that you haveto be able to have a certain
level of accountability from anorganizational standpoint, to
have a certain level of standard, because otherwise your
standards will start to dropwith there's no accountability.
If you don't care how peoplelook, you don't care how they
show up, if you don't care whenthey show up, these things will
start to have an effect onpeople who are like Well, what
(16:58):
am I doing at doing more of thework, because this person is is
always late.
I have to do more of the workfor them.
Maybe they have to leave earlyall the time.
Now, what about the personalissues?
Because you know some peoplewill bring their personal into.
Oh, i got a family issues, igot to pick up my kid, i got to
do this, i got to do that.
Is there a certain amount ofemotional intelligence there
that has to be nipped in the bud?
(17:19):
When is it your?
when is your personal life?
your personal life versus whatis professional?
How do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Right, have I dealt with that?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, i said how have you dealt with it?
Because I have definitely dealtwith it, But I assume people in
leadership positions have dealtwith it.
If you have, how have you dealtwith it?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I have, and I'm going to be honest with you, lizzie.
That was me at some point goingto school working having a
toddler, and if they were sickit was just me.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I've had supervisors who said bring them in You know,
it's why they're not making alot of noise Just bring them in
for the day, which helped megreatly if they couldn't go to
the daycare or my son couldn'tgo to the daycare.
And then I've had supervisorswho said, yeah, well, that's not
my problem, Figure it out.
Yeah, So I do.
(18:21):
Pretty much everyone that Isupervise has children And I try
to put myself in their place.
One of the things that I do isI'm really big on planning.
Like, if we plan things out andyou've got to plan A, plan B,
plan C, we can work things outright.
(18:42):
If you tell me three weeks inadvance you've got this doctor's
appointment for your child, thedentist appointment, you know
we're good.
If it's a soccer game, I willtell you leave early, But you
have to make sure thateverything is taken care of when
you leave.
I really am not that person whosays if someone has to take off
(19:05):
and leave early every singleday of the week, I would allow
them as long as they have takencare of their business, As long
as their work is done.
I am not a micromanager.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Me neither.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
What I need is yeah, i don't even believe that it
takes 40 hours in a week foryour work to get done.
Sometimes it takes 60,sometimes it takes 20.
And if it takes 20, i reallydon't mind paying you for 40
because you're going to do 60the next week.
So I'm not that type of person.
But you really have to haveyour everything in order, like
(19:41):
if you're going to leave earlyevery day because you've got to
go pick up your daughter, let'ssay, from school at 3 o'clock
And you're supposed to staythere until 5.
Absolutely have no problem withthat, but your stuff better be
done Like.
Nothing can be lacking And Ithink people appreciate that too
.
It has given me loyal, loyalpeople.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Like.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I can ask them to do anything And because I allow
them these little soccer gamesand parent-teacher meetings and
leave and early for lunch withtheir husband or whatever,
there's nothing I can't ask ofthem.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You know what's strange is I'm very much with
the figure it out person.
I think I think I'm bothBecause when you were just
giving that example just now,laura, i was thinking which one
of those do I fall into?
Do I fall into the person who'sgoing to be like bring your kid
in, or do I fall into thefigure it out person?
I feel like I'm a little bit ofboth.
I find I'm a little bit of bothBecause I think sometimes Well,
(20:42):
I think it depends on theperson, right?
Yeah, yeah, because sometimesyou need to help.
You need to help sometimes Andlife can be hard.
So I'm sympathetic to that.
Like life can be hard, and ifit's not an every single day
thing, if it's not an everysingle one thing, and, like you
said too, i give a lot offlexibility to my teammates who
(21:03):
handle their business more sothan my ones who don't, you get
no flexibility.
And the ones who do, you getextreme flexibility.
I'll let them, let me.
They can just come up to me andsay, hey, i need to go for
whatever reason.
If you're a hard worker,absolutely, absolutely, see,
whatever you see, see you later.
You got to take off time,whatever.
When people have to take offtime for things, or maybe
(21:25):
they're coming in later forthings and stuff like that, you
can accommodate that for yourhard workers.
But I feel like your hardworkers have put in that work
already to set that table, so tospeak, for themselves, so that
when these things do happen, i'mgoing to give them more leeway,
but at the same time, forpeople who aren't that way, from
playing devil's advocate, i'vehad to figure it out myself, so
(21:48):
I know what that means And Iknow that I'm not going to look
at people as if they're worsethan I am.
If I could figure it out, youcould figure it out.
So I do definitely get thatpoint of view as well, and I'm
sorry.
I think you were about to saysomething.
I cut you off.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
No, i agree with you wholeheartedly And I think it
depends on the person.
I think if you've got a hardworker who never asks for
anything, you trust that whenthey do that they're telling the
truth, that they really needtheir help.
And then you've got some peoplewho just take advantage.
I had a young lady And this wasthe hardest thing for me.
(22:25):
She was trying to get herchildren back.
Well, actually I can say thatshe was not.
She was in a position to dothat, but she really wasn't
trying hard And she was just,when I tell you, royally
screwing up.
I'm talking feeling.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're outof here, yeah, and so I'm
(22:46):
giving well, because I knowshe's trying to get her kids
back from CCS.
I'm like listen, give it back.
Let's write a letter, whathappened?
Because I know.
And the last thing she did Iwas just like you've got to go.
And she was like but I won'tget my kids back.
And I was like I don't thinkyou really want to.
(23:07):
Because everything that you'redoing is counterproductive.
Like I have given you, i haveoffered her she had to go to
training And she was like, well,the bus doesn't go there And
I'm like, ok, i was going to getyou Like, those are the types
of things that I do Well now,because you know.
And then I was like, OK, I getwhat is going.
So, yeah, there are times whereit is difficult, But you have
(23:33):
to make that choice, And thethings that you are not willing
to correct, those are the thingsthat other people in their eyes
, you're willing to accept.
Do you feel like there's like aline between?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
self-sufficiency there and just like because
there's a baseline right thereof self-sufficiency, right Like
there's a baseline of kind oflike my jobs have never told,
like I've never depended on myjobs to get me to the job, if
that makes sense.
You know I've never depended onthem to like to figure out how
I was going to get there,because if you had told them
(24:06):
that in an interview, theywouldn't have hired you.
If you had told them that in aninterview some of the things
that a lot of people asked forafter they got the job if you
had told the people that beforethey hired you, then they would
look at other applicants, theywould look at other candidates
to see if they were a better fitthan which you are.
And because I'm constantlythinking there's a better fit
out there, you're probablytaking up space for somebody
(24:27):
else that we could hire and getin here.
There is a certain amount of youneed to be handling your own
business like.
I am very much on that.
We've come to talk about thisbefore And I'm definitely harder
on that sense of like you needto be handling your own business
and I hold my listen.
I hold my friend family to thatown standard and myself to that
(24:48):
own standard.
I'm not holding people to adifferent standard than I hold
myself loved ones to.
Is there such a thing as somuch emotional intelligence that
it becomes a crutch for people?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Absolutely.
You can definitely enablepeople And I probably am that
person And you know you're goingback.
I think we really I don't thinkyou ever should you were saying
I don't think I've ever asked ajob And we would never think to
(25:22):
say, okay, well, i'll work here.
But let me just say this I'mgoing to need to do this.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Right, did you come pick me up?
You need to do that.
Give me a ride over here, man.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah, like, and you should a lot.
I don't think that is theirproblem.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, that's not it.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I don't think you should ever look to your job to
make all of these specialaccommodations unless you, you
know, are have a disability.
Those are the only times Ithink a job should be required
to make accommodations.
But other than that, i'm no jobreally should be ever should be
required to make any kind ofaccommodations.
I, admittedly, will do thesethings just because that's where
(25:57):
I come from.
I know what it's like to youknow your car stop in the middle
of the road and you're tryingto catch the bus and you, well,
i know what that's like and I'venever forgotten that and that
is why I go above and beyond anddo things that really I
probably shouldn't.
But on the flip side, no oneshould ever ask for a job to do
(26:24):
those things or expect thosethings, and it really does.
I think you can enable peopleand I think we as as a society I
see us heading that way.
I mean, i'm not saying what Ido is right.
I think I am not.
That's not common, but you know, i can try all I want to.
(26:47):
That's just kind of in me.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
But I do see a society that, like these younger
generation, you know they'llcall We've hired them, They
won't show up for orientation,They'll call the third day of
orientation.
Oh yeah, by the way, I had ayou know something major happen.
So can I just come to the nextorientation And you think like
(27:09):
you have the audacity to like,And I don't know if we're not
teaching them proper.
I've had somebody come in or inan interview and sit in the
style in the chair and talkabout smoking weed.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I've had people come in with flip-flops in the
interview.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Yes, yes, i've had people in the interview.
I think to myself do I makepeople feel that comfortable, or
do they really not know thatthat is inappropriate, Because I
do have a way of making peoplefeel really comfortable, because
I know interviewing can be veryintimidating and overwhelming.
(27:51):
Especially for young people whohaven't done it.
So I make them feel verycomfortable.
But then they get reallycomfortable and I think okay,
was that me, did I do that Orlike did you hire any of these
people?
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Did any of these people get the job?
Laura?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Let me see what the young lady who had the flip flop
on do you get the job?
She didn't end up working outthe one who was sitting Indian
style, you know.
She was like yeah, cuz I workfor a farm.
And I was like, oh, that's cool, like the ghost and you know
animals.
And she's like no, no, no, no,like it's like a No, what a farm
.
Okay, so are you gonna be ableto pass the?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
drug.
Yeah, that's legal in somestates, i mean, and at least she
came straight forward like I'mnot bad.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
I'm not gonna pass that to not in Texas.
I'm not passing.
Are you high now?
that's what I'm Right now, soput your to swing your your legs
all around the chair and IDon't know.
(28:58):
I, i Seer for this youngergeneration.
I didn't have to tell my sonwho's going to an interview And
he had some jeans and they hadlike some hope.
Oh, oh, no, no, sir, and ifwe're having a problem, sure to
have this.
And I said no, you can't wearthose jeans in an interview,
like no, that's not appropriate,it doesn't look professional.
(29:21):
You know you don't have to weara tie, but no, i'm gonna wear
some slack and a nice shirt.
So I don't know what, whatwe're, what we're teaching this
generation, and then they showup to work late, don't call in.
I don't know, reggie, i don'tknow it's, it's, it's different,
(29:47):
it's different.
This workforce is a littledifferent than you know my age.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
For sure, I think that is.
I think, it's different than itwas even 10 or 15 years ago.
It's different, it's extremefrom what I've seen, i think.
I do think, though, that beingsaid, there was a baseline for
professional etiquette.
There's a baseline for it.
And do you have to wear a tie?
No, but can you put up a buttonup on?
do you probably don't want torock the jeans, and that's
(30:13):
probably not the best time to dothat, like some people are in
unfortunate It's veryunfortunate situations Where
they lack the resources to haveany kind of professional clothes
, i told people to go toGoodwill and get a couple things
at least, just to get throughthe interview and get your first
couple checks, but you knowsome people.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
The motivation.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
They exactly, exactly so that you know you're not
looking crazy on interviews.
But you have to know and that'snot necessarily where some of
the people that I've seen thisthey don't fall into those
categories, they're just verykind of casual, have a very
casual kind of approach to life.
And what are the signs then foryou?
That, because I know, for meit's instant like if you're, i'm
(30:56):
more of a person who You'regonna have to adhere to certain
things, or I'm not gonna havecredibility with my more
harder-working Teammates.
I'm not gonna have credibilitywith them if I'm letting you get
away with murder, so I'm goingto not have a very high bar for
Taking care of these issues.
You know you got.
If I see one or two of them, i'mgonna I'm gonna say necessarily
(31:18):
Move to have you like fire, cuzit takes a lot for me to call
for a person's job because somepeople just have bad days.
So I'm not.
It takes a lot for me to dothat, but I will definitely take
steps to make sure that I'mseeing you less and to make sure
that my teammates aren't asaffected by you.
But where is that for a personlike you, though, cuz you're
(31:39):
gonna go further.
Now what it.
What are the signs that makesyou finally cut somebody off
from That type of help or thattype of sympathy that you may be
showing towards them?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I think when You stop Putting forth an effort, then
You know that's my key to stopputting forth an effort.
Hmm I see, and when I sayputting forth an effort, i mean
like You're not even calling in,that you're gonna be late, like
(32:12):
you just showing up, like yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
And that's a base I you know, everybody got their
phones.
So I yeah, not an excuse rightin today's time.
Yeah at all, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Yeah, yeah.
So you put forth no effort.
I certainly am not and You know, even when I was doing social
services and you know, willingto do Move mountains for you.
If I move one you gotta move to.
I will not work harder on yourbehalf than you.
Well, i, you know I will pointyou in the direction, but at
(32:46):
some point you've got to take astep.
So That that's it for me.
If, when you put forth noeffort, then that it really is,
you're begging me to stopputting forth effort.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I Don't think that's unfair at all there definitely
appreciate you taking some timeout here, lord, to discuss these
things, because I like tappinginto your Social workers.
Like the opposite side of me, ihave no inner social worker in
me whatsoever, so I likebringing on a person who's way
more compassionate than I am todiscuss these subjects, and I
appreciate you taking some timeout here, laura.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Absolutely.
We got a fine and healthybalance between the two of us.
Because I can, mine can be alittle bit, you know, on the Bar
end of the spectrum to.
So, as always, i always enjoytalking to you, reggie.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Well, this is Reggie to check us out.
Stitcher a heart radio, googlepodcast, ever podcast.
Butterfly, wherever you findyour podcast.
See you next time.
It's Reggie Natale, coming to you from a lovely city
of Atlanta, georgia, going outto Laura in Texas, and you're in
San Antonio, texas, today,though you say you might not be
long you might be leaving theresoon.
There, Laura, you're a woman onthe move.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Who knows where you'll be next time.
We have a conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I really am.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Yes, really am.
I was in Austin yesterday, soyes, What's your next on town?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
So what are the?
if you have to live in Texas,for people who want to move
there?
what are the best towns to livethere, Because you're in quite
a bit of them?
So, what are your best townsthere?
Have you lived in Dallas, Fort?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Worth.
I lived all over.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Texas.
So okay, so you've been inDallas, fort Worth, okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We're very long time.
I love Dallas and I think itdepends on kind of what you're
looking for.
Austin is really a very prettycity.
Of course it's the capital.
It's got a lot of hills, It'spart of a hill country.
Texas is really beautiful.
It kind of mimics California.
(01:13):
I think it really is somethingthat a lot of Californians,
except for the heat, love aboutAustin Houston metropolitan.
it is probably, if not numberone, number two in the nation as
far as diversity.
Really, We'll talk aboutdifferent ethnic groups.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes, I didn't know that It is.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Fort Worth County a few years ago was the most
diverse county in nation.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Which is Fort Worth County, is in Houston.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yes, i love my diversity, mr.
Diversity over here, i love it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It's extremely diverse, extremely diverse, but
populated, well populated Forsure.
Then you have Dallas.
It's gorgeous, it's pretty.
You get the big city but it'sstill very clean and very pretty
.
Then there's San Antonio.
We talked about this earlier.
It is a very large Hispanicpopulation.
(02:14):
The culture and the roots arevery.
everything is very from Mexicoand very you've got Aztec and of
course you've got the Alamo,it's a lot of that culture there
.
Beautiful city, yes, but it'smore.
I would say it's a tourist town, definitely.
(02:35):
Really, there is a little bitof something for everyone in
Texas.
Yes, it's a nice state.
It's very hot and you stillkind of deal with good old boy
mentality in these little towns.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I think you can get that at a lot of states in the
South especially.
I don't come from where I'mfrom.
I'm in Atlanta, georgia.
We know all about thosesituations here.
One of the things I wanted totalk about today, or I would say
, the thing I want to talk-about today because we've done
so many emotional intelligenceshows.
I have you on all these showsbecause I want to tap into that
(03:13):
in your social worker that seemsto live inside of you there.
You know those social workers,man.
They want to save the world.
man I work with a couple.
They want to save the earth man.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Anybody is saveable to a lot of social workers.
I think from a general humanitystandpoint, it's admirable to
have that point of view.
What we're going to tap intotoday is more kind of like the
other side.
I'm going to take the otherside here.
I'll play devil's advocate,more so on the when does the
emotional intelligence go wrong?
We've talked about this also inother ways, but we've never
(03:45):
talked about it specifically.
We've talked about this in wayswhere, when you would talk
about past social work jobsyou've had where you might just
have that person that just won'tsay do right, for a better,
lack of better phrase.
They just can't seem to get ontrack.
no matter how much time andeffort that you put into a
person, i feel like you can onlydo so much for any person,
(04:08):
whether it's a coworker or afriend of mine, a family member.
I feel the same about thisacross the board, because I feel
like people are going to haveto want something for themselves
in order to get to certainplaces in life, even if it's
something small.
everybody maybe need help everynow and then.
I don't mind giving them helpWhere this has.
(04:31):
The reason this subject hascome up for me is because I've
had times in business where Ididn't know if that really
served everybody.
right, when you're trying toextend so much emotional
intelligence to one person,that's just not a great bit for
any organization or somethinglike that.
(04:51):
I'm pretty sure you've seenthis from a leadership
standpoint, where you might havea team, you may have a person
and maybe even like the person,but they're not necessarily
great for the organization, forthe team in general.
You know what I mean.
Stuff like that I'm going toask you the basic question first
, and then we'll kind of diginto specifics.
Do you think there's times whenthere's just too much emotional
(05:12):
intelligence, or do you thinkthere's times where that can go
wrong?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Absolutely, absolutely.
That's coming from a person whoreally will go above and beyond
what the average person will doto try to help someone.
But they're absolutely peopleand moments and times and
(05:38):
situations that you have to sayyou know I want this more for
this person than they do.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
And you really have to step away.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah.
So let's talk about thedifferent times, because I'm
pretty sure you've seen this indifferent areas, so let's talk
about it.
And how did you know to do thatfrom a social worker standpoint
?
Because it would seem like froma profession that that's
literally what the job is, right, you're there to work with
certain elements of society andhopefully give them a boost in
the areas that they need it.
(06:13):
When did you know that it wasn'treally working?
Like did they just stop showingup?
How did you know that a causewas so what of a lost cause?
Because, you know, nobody everwants to think anything.
whether it's a task, a job, aperson is a lost cause, but that
doesn't mean that they don'texist.
So how did you kind of likereconcile those two feelings
(06:34):
with yourself when you were inthat social work setting?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well, i will say this when I first started out and I
think I can speak for a lot ofpeople in this profession you do
think that you get into it forcertain reasons.
right, it doesn't pay.
well, you are dealing with humannature And they're real loves,
which is all over the place,which is, yeah, it can be
emotionally draining, especiallywhen you're dealing with really
(07:02):
really tough situations thatare very, you know, just
emotional, tough situations.
So people who get into theprofession really have a passion
for making a difference and forchange, social change, and you
know so, for me it was prettyearly in my career and it didn't
(07:28):
happen.
It happened because the clientsthat I was working with ended up
, you know, just kind of likenot taking any of the help and
doing the total opposite andgetting right back into a
situation that I had worked,along with some other people,
really, really hard to get herout of.
(07:51):
And it was it changed.
It was personally andprofessionally eye-opening and
hurtful, but I'm so glad that ithappened and I had a really
wise boss who kind of explainedhow, if I were to be successful
(08:14):
in this field, how I needed tonavigate through this field and
what I needed to do, and it madeperfect sense when he said that
It was like an epiphany for me.
You know, like do you want tohelp one person and exhaust all
of your energy and yourresources and your time into
(08:34):
this one person who you know?
you know, just like a badrelationship with the red flag.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You see him.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
You know is not going to get there, or do you want to
put your resources and yourenergy and your time and your
knowledge and your passion andcompassion into someone who just
needs a little bit of help anda little bit of push, you know,
a gentle push.
That way you can help morepeople.
And I had to decide right there, even though I will tell you I
(09:04):
really still wanted to, you know, get that person who everyone
else gave up on.
But I had to professionally say, like, what is going to help
more people, What is going tomake a bigger impact?
And so that's what it was.
(09:25):
But I think, you know, just formy own personal reasons, being
hurt and going through somethings, it really is tough for
me to not go for the person whoeveryone fit.
Nope, There is no helping thatAnd I refuse to get caught up in
that.
So, yeah, I slip.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
That's just the natural.
That's the natural social work.
That's why I said it's in you,no matter what job you do.
I feel like I don't know ifthat is air.
I don't think that's going toleave you because of what you
did, the reasons that you saidearlier.
You'd only get into that if youfeel a certain kind of way
about helping people.
And I don't feel like, even ifyou change jobs, that innate
feeling goes away.
I fight that innate feeling isstill there.
Maybe it's adjusted one way orthe other, but I feel like it's
(10:11):
still somewhat still there.
Now you looked, you were alsohad people that you manage and
stuff like this.
And I'm going to look at thisfrom a leadership standpoint,
because this is where I've seenit, maybe you can bring this up
on the show is I've seen this gohorribly wrong in leadership
perspectives, in leadership andfrom a leadership perspective.
You can have people that youwork with, and the way that I
(10:33):
always look at this is I have totreat all of my teammates the
same.
After treating them same, holdthem to the same standard.
Anyway, i should say I'm notgoing to treat them the same
because people who are betterI'm going to treat better.
You know, i'm going to treatyou kind of like how what your
work dictates you should betreated.
If one person's showing up ontime or early all the time and
(10:53):
they're out performing, i'm notgoing to treat them the same as
the person who shows up late inhis underperforming Like that
doesn't make sense.
But I'm going to treat themfairly though.
So they're all going to gettreated fairly.
I'm not going to play favoritesor anything like that, so the
playing favorite is kind ofwhere I'm going to.
So, yeah, let's say that youhave a staff and let's say you
have like 30 people on the staffand you have a couple of bad
(11:16):
apples in there.
I've seen HR departments goabove and beyond to accommodate
the bad apples, even when theywere being kind of like a cancer
to the job.
Like everybody else, they'rebringing down morale.
These people are always seem tohave a reason to why they can't
accomplish things.
When you have a sympathetic HRdepartment that kind of lets
(11:37):
that go for an extended periodof time, at what point, laura,
do you feel like it's not fairto the other people there, like
how much help should you beextending to these people before
?
you just got to pull the plugfor the better of the team, so
to speak.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, So you know, this is being in social work and
then kind of going into thissupervisory role and then coming
off of the quiet quitting.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
You know, i think one of the reasons and not to
mention this this time thatwe're in right now, i think
we'll the reasons.
you know it's easy to say, wow,hr is really letting this
person to buy gold folk, but Ido remember a time when needing
people so bad that you werewilling to look over and feel
(12:32):
them being late every day.
Absolutely, you needed thatperson.
You really did need that person.
And then the other thing ispeople you know.
There was a time where you werevery conscious of the job you
did.
You gave it to a weak notice.
People don't do that anymore.
Hr is not allowed to say thatsomeone was not good or great,
(12:52):
or only allowed to say when thatperson works there, maybe if
they, you know, are rehireable.
Yeah, people can sue their HR,And so I think they're very
afraid of you know, litigationand going to court and saying
that's your name, you know theytreat people bad.
And now, of course, you knowthey made me work 41 hours, you
(13:12):
know, and there's no work lifebalance.
And so now you want to, youknow you want to be that
employer that is really.
You know.
We care about work life balanceand PTO and things like that.
So I think that is where HRkind of stands right now.
They're very under-tyed.
But as far as supervisingpeople and you've got that
person or people who are notdoing what they need to do it it
(13:36):
there is nothing that runs areally great employee off like
seeing employees who do bareminimum, get that, not get, you
know, nothing happens.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yeah, not be held accountable, Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
There is nothing that makes people feel horrible.
And so at some point, even whenyou need people, like you have
to be able to say I cannot allowthis, because it really is
setting a bad example for it Andit's for the people who are
doing the right thing.
That's frustrating.
And so, again, you have to sayto yourself okay, you know,
(14:19):
what's more important here Is itdo I really need these, these
people or person so bad that I'mwilling to accept this, this,
this, this?
And you really have to askthose tough questions And if not
, like you really have to letthem go.
And, of course, you have to doit the right way.
But you know, which also meansif I let you do this for a year
(14:43):
and then all of a sudden I'mlike listen, this is not working
.
And you're like you know theyare like well, for 365 days it's
been working.
So you know it's tough, like Ithink you've got to knit that in
the bud really really quickly.
Me too, and not let it go on Ifyou can you know everybody's not
able to do that, but if you can, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I think you bring up a solid point And I want to pick
it back off the other pointabout okay, you have the HR
situation where you're eithersuch so so risk averse from a
litigation standpoint it is thatsomebody get away with murder
or you have situations where youneed the bodies And you're like
, well, i need the body, so I'mgoing to keep this person around
, but what ends up happening isjust like what you said it runs
(15:31):
off other people.
So what do you end up doing isyou keep one person, but then
you who?
you don't know how many peopleyou've ran off.
You know, because a lot ofpeople just quit and they don't
really give you a real reason oranything like that.
But they've complained aboutthis person constantly to fellow
co workers, you know.
But it just seems likemanagement deaf ears on
management and to a lot of times, from a management standpoint,
(15:55):
they're not the ones having todirectly to directly work with
the people you know, so they can.
It's easy for them to say an HRdepartment to be like, hey, well
, yeah, you just got to find away to get along.
You guys don't have to like.
Remember that, remember thatphrase.
You guys have to like eachother.
You just got to kind of find away to get along.
That's forget about that.
Like you don't.
You don't have to like eachother, but that's, to me, just a
way to sweep everything underthe rug that a person does.
(16:16):
You know.
Of course you don't have tolike.
I don't even think you have.
That even goes.
That goes without saying.
Of course you don't have tolike person, but a person should
be forced to do at least 80% ofthe job that I'm doing because
I'm getting we're getting paidsimilar.
So I don't want to come in andsee a person who's just not
carrying their weight but isstill sitting at the same table
(16:37):
as the rest of us who are andnot being held accountable.
And I do believe that you haveto be able to have a certain
level of accountability from anorganizational standpoint, to
have a certain level of standard, because otherwise your
standards will start to dropwith there's no accountability.
If you don't care how peoplelook, you don't care how they
show up, if you don't care whenthey show up, these things will
start to have an effect onpeople who are like Well, what
(16:58):
am I doing at doing more of thework, because this person is is
always late.
I have to do more of the workfor them.
Maybe they have to leave earlyall the time.
Now, what about the personalissues?
Because you know some peoplewill bring their personal into.
Oh, i got a family issues, igot to pick up my kid, i got to
do this, i got to do that.
Is there a certain amount ofemotional intelligence there
that has to be nipped in the bud?
(17:19):
When is it your?
when is your personal life?
your personal life versus whatis professional?
How do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Right, have I dealt with that?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, i said how have you dealt with it?
Because I have definitely dealtwith it, But I assume people in
leadership positions have dealtwith it.
If you have, how have you dealtwith it?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I have, and I'm going to be honest with you, lizzie.
That was me at some point goingto school working having a
toddler, and if they were sickit was just me.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I've had supervisors who said bring them in You know,
it's why they're not making alot of noise Just bring them in
for the day, which helped megreatly if they couldn't go to
the daycare or my son couldn'tgo to the daycare.
And then I've had supervisorswho said, yeah, well, that's not
my problem, Figure it out.
Yeah, So I do.
(18:21):
Pretty much everyone that Isupervise has children And I try
to put myself in their place.
One of the things that I do isI'm really big on planning.
Like, if we plan things out andyou've got to plan A, plan B,
plan C, we can work things outright.
(18:42):
If you tell me three weeks inadvance you've got this doctor's
appointment for your child, thedentist appointment, you know
we're good.
If it's a soccer game, I willtell you leave early, But you
have to make sure thateverything is taken care of when
you leave.
I really am not that person whosays if someone has to take off
(19:05):
and leave early every singleday of the week, I would allow
them as long as they have takencare of their business, As long
as their work is done.
I am not a micromanager.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Me neither.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
What I need is yeah, i don't even believe that it
takes 40 hours in a week foryour work to get done.
Sometimes it takes 60,sometimes it takes 20.
And if it takes 20, i reallydon't mind paying you for 40
because you're going to do 60the next week.
So I'm not that type of person.
But you really have to haveyour everything in order, like
(19:41):
if you're going to leave earlyevery day because you've got to
go pick up your daughter, let'ssay, from school at 3 o'clock
And you're supposed to staythere until 5.
Absolutely have no problem withthat, but your stuff better be
done Like.
Nothing can be lacking And Ithink people appreciate that too
.
It has given me loyal, loyalpeople.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Like.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I can ask them to do anything And because I allow
them these little soccer gamesand parent-teacher meetings and
leave and early for lunch withtheir husband or whatever,
there's nothing I can't ask ofthem.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You know what's strange is I'm very much with
the figure it out person.
I think I think I'm bothBecause when you were just
giving that example just now,laura, i was thinking which one
of those do I fall into?
Do I fall into the person who'sgoing to be like bring your kid
in, or do I fall into thefigure it out person?
I feel like I'm a little bit ofboth.
I find I'm a little bit of bothBecause I think sometimes Well,
(20:42):
I think it depends on theperson, right?
Yeah, yeah, because sometimesyou need to help.
You need to help sometimes Andlife can be hard.
So I'm sympathetic to that.
Like life can be hard, and ifit's not an every single day
thing, if it's not an everysingle one thing, and, like you
said too, i give a lot offlexibility to my teammates who
(21:03):
handle their business more sothan my ones who don't, you get
no flexibility.
And the ones who do, you getextreme flexibility.
I'll let them, let me.
They can just come up to me andsay, hey, i need to go for
whatever reason.
If you're a hard worker,absolutely, absolutely, see,
whatever you see, see you later.
You got to take off time,whatever.
When people have to take offtime for things, or maybe
(21:25):
they're coming in later forthings and stuff like that, you
can accommodate that for yourhard workers.
But I feel like your hardworkers have put in that work
already to set that table, so tospeak, for themselves, so that
when these things do happen, i'mgoing to give them more leeway,
but at the same time, forpeople who aren't that way, from
playing devil's advocate, i'vehad to figure it out myself, so
(21:48):
I know what that means And Iknow that I'm not going to look
at people as if they're worsethan I am.
If I could figure it out, youcould figure it out.
So I do definitely get thatpoint of view as well, and I'm
sorry.
I think you were about to saysomething.
I cut you off.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
No, i agree with you wholeheartedly And I think it
depends on the person.
I think if you've got a hardworker who never asks for
anything, you trust that whenthey do that they're telling the
truth, that they really needtheir help.
And then you've got some peoplewho just take advantage.
I had a young lady And this wasthe hardest thing for me.
(22:25):
She was trying to get herchildren back.
Well, actually I can say thatshe was not.
She was in a position to dothat, but she really wasn't
trying hard And she was just,when I tell you, royally
screwing up.
I'm talking feeling.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're outof here, yeah, and so I'm
(22:46):
giving well, because I knowshe's trying to get her kids
back from CCS.
I'm like listen, give it back.
Let's write a letter, whathappened?
Because I know.
And the last thing she did Iwas just like you've got to go.
And she was like but I won'tget my kids back.
And I was like I don't thinkyou really want to.
(23:07):
Because everything that you'redoing is counterproductive.
Like I have given you, i haveoffered her she had to go to
training And she was like, well,the bus doesn't go there And
I'm like, ok, i was going to getyou Like, those are the types
of things that I do Well now,because you know.
And then I was like, OK, I getwhat is going.
So, yeah, there are times whereit is difficult, But you have
(23:33):
to make that choice, And thethings that you are not willing
to correct, those are the thingsthat other people in their eyes
, you're willing to accept.
Do you feel like there's like aline between?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
self-sufficiency there and just like because
there's a baseline right thereof self-sufficiency, right Like
there's a baseline of kind oflike my jobs have never told,
like I've never depended on myjobs to get me to the job, if
that makes sense.
You know I've never depended onthem to like to figure out how
I was going to get there,because if you had told them
(24:06):
that in an interview, theywouldn't have hired you.
If you had told them that in aninterview some of the things
that a lot of people asked forafter they got the job if you
had told the people that beforethey hired you, then they would
look at other applicants, theywould look at other candidates
to see if they were a better fitthan which you are.
And because I'm constantlythinking there's a better fit
out there, you're probablytaking up space for somebody
(24:27):
else that we could hire and getin here.
There is a certain amount of youneed to be handling your own
business like.
I am very much on that.
We've come to talk about thisbefore And I'm definitely harder
on that sense of like you needto be handling your own business
and I hold my listen.
I hold my friend family to thatown standard and myself to that
(24:48):
own standard.
I'm not holding people to adifferent standard than I hold
myself loved ones to.
Is there such a thing as somuch emotional intelligence that
it becomes a crutch for people?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Absolutely.
You can definitely enablepeople And I probably am that
person And you know you're goingback.
I think we really I don't thinkyou ever should you were saying
I don't think I've ever asked ajob And we would never think to
(25:22):
say, okay, well, i'll work here.
But let me just say this I'mgoing to need to do this.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Right, did you come pick me up?
You need to do that.
Give me a ride over here, man.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah, like, and you should a lot.
I don't think that is theirproblem.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, that's not it.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I don't think you should ever look to your job to
make all of these specialaccommodations unless you, you
know, are have a disability.
Those are the only times Ithink a job should be required
to make accommodations.
But other than that, i'm no jobreally should be ever should be
required to make any kind ofaccommodations.
I, admittedly, will do thesethings just because that's where
(25:57):
I come from.
I know what it's like to youknow your car stop in the middle
of the road and you're tryingto catch the bus and you, well,
i know what that's like and I'venever forgotten that and that
is why I go above and beyond anddo things that really I
probably shouldn't.
But on the flip side, no oneshould ever ask for a job to do
(26:24):
those things or expect thosethings, and it really does.
I think you can enable peopleand I think we as as a society I
see us heading that way.
I mean, i'm not saying what Ido is right.
I think I am not.
That's not common, but you know, i can try all I want to.
(26:47):
That's just kind of in me.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
But I do see a society that, like these younger
generation, you know they'llcall We've hired them, They
won't show up for orientation,They'll call the third day of
orientation.
Oh yeah, by the way, I had ayou know something major happen.
So can I just come to the nextorientation And you think like
(27:09):
you have the audacity to like,And I don't know if we're not
teaching them proper.
I've had somebody come in or inan interview and sit in the
style in the chair and talkabout smoking weed.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I've had people come in with flip-flops in the
interview.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Yes, yes, i've had people in the interview.
I think to myself do I makepeople feel that comfortable, or
do they really not know thatthat is inappropriate, Because I
do have a way of making peoplefeel really comfortable, because
I know interviewing can be veryintimidating and overwhelming.
(27:51):
Especially for young people whohaven't done it.
So I make them feel verycomfortable.
But then they get reallycomfortable and I think okay,
was that me, did I do that Orlike did you hire any of these
people?
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Did any of these people get the job?
Laura?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Let me see what the young lady who had the flip flop
on do you get the job?
She didn't end up working outthe one who was sitting Indian
style, you know.
She was like yeah, cuz I workfor a farm.
And I was like, oh, that's cool, like the ghost and you know
animals.
And she's like no, no, no, no,like it's like a No, what a farm
.
Okay, so are you gonna be ableto pass the?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
drug.
Yeah, that's legal in somestates, i mean, and at least she
came straight forward like I'mnot bad.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
I'm not gonna pass that to not in Texas.
I'm not passing.
Are you high now?
that's what I'm Right now, soput your to swing your your legs
all around the chair and IDon't know.
(28:58):
I, i Seer for this youngergeneration.
I didn't have to tell my sonwho's going to an interview And
he had some jeans and they hadlike some hope.
Oh, oh, no, no, sir, and ifwe're having a problem, sure to
have this.
And I said no, you can't wearthose jeans in an interview,
like no, that's not appropriate,it doesn't look professional.
(29:21):
You know you don't have to weara tie, but no, i'm gonna wear
some slack and a nice shirt.
So I don't know what, whatwe're, what we're teaching this
generation, and then they showup to work late, don't call in.
I don't know, reggie, i don'tknow it's, it's, it's different,
(29:47):
it's different.
This workforce is a littledifferent than you know my age.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
For sure, I think that is.
I think, it's different than itwas even 10 or 15 years ago.
It's different, it's extremefrom what I've seen, i think.
I do think, though, that beingsaid, there was a baseline for
professional etiquette.
There's a baseline for it.
And do you have to wear a tie?
No, but can you put up a buttonup on?
do you probably don't want torock the jeans, and that's
(30:13):
probably not the best time to dothat, like some people are in
unfortunate It's veryunfortunate situations Where
they lack the resources to haveany kind of professional clothes
, i told people to go toGoodwill and get a couple things
at least, just to get throughthe interview and get your first
couple checks, but you knowsome people.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
The motivation.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
They exactly, exactly so that you know you're not
looking crazy on interviews.
But you have to know and that'snot necessarily where some of
the people that I've seen thisthey don't fall into those
categories, they're just verykind of casual, have a very
casual kind of approach to life.
And what are the signs then foryou?
That, because I know, for meit's instant like if you're, i'm
(30:56):
more of a person who You'regonna have to adhere to certain
things, or I'm not gonna havecredibility with my more
harder-working Teammates.
I'm not gonna have credibilitywith them if I'm letting you get
away with murder, so I'm goingto not have a very high bar for
Taking care of these issues.
You know you got.
If I see one or two of them, i'mgonna I'm gonna say necessarily
(31:18):
Move to have you like fire, cuzit takes a lot for me to call
for a person's job because somepeople just have bad days.
So I'm not.
It takes a lot for me to dothat, but I will definitely take
steps to make sure that I'mseeing you less and to make sure
that my teammates aren't asaffected by you.
But where is that for a personlike you, though, cuz you're
(31:39):
gonna go further.
Now what it.
What are the signs that makesyou finally cut somebody off
from That type of help or thattype of sympathy that you may be
showing towards them?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I think when You stop Putting forth an effort, then
You know that's my key to stopputting forth an effort.
Hmm I see, and when I sayputting forth an effort, i mean
like You're not even calling in,that you're gonna be late, like
(32:12):
you just showing up, like yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
And that's a base I you know, everybody got their
phones.
So I yeah, not an excuse rightin today's time.
Yeah at all, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Yeah, yeah.
So you put forth no effort.
I certainly am not and You know, even when I was doing social
services and you know, willingto do Move mountains for you.
If I move one you gotta move to.
I will not work harder on yourbehalf than you.
Well, i, you know I will pointyou in the direction, but at
(32:46):
some point you've got to take astep.
So That that's it for me.
If, when you put forth noeffort, then that it really is,
you're begging me to stopputting forth effort.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I Don't think that's unfair at all there definitely
appreciate you taking some timeout here, lord, to discuss these
things, because I like tappinginto your Social workers.
Like the opposite side of me, ihave no inner social worker in
me whatsoever, so I likebringing on a person who's way
more compassionate than I am todiscuss these subjects, and I
appreciate you taking some timeout here, laura.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Absolutely.
We got a fine and healthybalance between the two of us.
Because I can, mine can be alittle bit, you know, on the Bar
end of the spectrum to.
So, as always, i always enjoytalking to you, reggie.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Well, this is Reggie to check us out.
Stitcher a heart radio, googlepodcast, ever podcast.
Butterfly, wherever you findyour podcast.
See you next time.
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