You Are Not Crazy

Vctoria Kirilloff, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and founder of Divorce Analytics, brings her sharp expertise, and personal experience leaving an abusive relationship, to help listeners navigate the financial side of divorce with clarity and strategy.

Together, we break down:

• How to start gathering financial information even if you feel completely in the dark
• Why documenting financial coercion can become one of your stronges...

I’m joined by Dr. Nae, trauma bond expert, author of Run Like Hell, and former wife of Jordan Belfort—better known as the Wolf of Wall Street. Dr. Nae shares her story of surviving a deeply toxic and pathological relationship, what it took to finally leave, and how she transformed her experience into a mission to help others heal from narcissistic abuse and coercive control.

We talk about:

• The difference between flawed partners a...

I explore how abusive partners can use therapy to reinforce blame, rewrite reality, and further control their partners. She breaks down red flags to watch for—like when therapy sessions become ammunition, or when your partner suddenly becomes an expert in your trauma but avoids accountability for their own.

Jessica shares the emotional toll of navigating this dynamic and why you’re not wrong—or crazy—for feeling like something is of...

This episode explores how gaslighting works, highlights red flags such as constant self-doubt and the need to over-apologize, and shares practical strategies for reclaiming your sense of reality. I also unpack the manipulative DARVO tactic—where abusers deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender roles—to help you recognize when your intuition is under siege. 

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Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorce...

You are allowed to be a whole person—not just a performance for someone else. If you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you may have been taught to compromise your needs, silence your instincts, and tie your worth to someone else's happiness. In this episode, I discuss how societal expectations and manipulative dynamics teach us to ignore ourselves—and how to begin reclaiming your autonomy, boundaries, and em...

In this episode, I discuss the isolating and draining reality of divorcing a narcissist. I share how constant manipulation, gaslighting, and relentless legal battles can leave you feeling lost and unheard. 

I dive into the challenges of a legal system that often falls short. If you’re dealing with a high conflict divorce or post-separation abuse, join me for practical strategies and resources.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse...

DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) is a pattern that keeps you stuck in cycles of self-doubt, confusion, and emotional turmoil. In this episode, I break down how it works, how to recognize it in real time, and—most importantly—how to start detaching from the manipulative narrative.

If you’ve ever found yourself defending your actions instead of addressing the real issue, feeling like the "problem" in your re...

This episode is a deep dive into the reality of navigating relationships with individuals who exhibit traits of Cluster B personality disorders—including narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, and histrionic personality disorders. If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of confusion, self-doubt, or emotional exhaustion in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand why. 

I share personal experiences and insights...

Sex can be misused as a tool for emotional regulation and control rather than genuine connection. In this episode, I take you through a story describing what initially felt like overwhelming love gradually revealed itself as a pattern of guilt-tripping, boundary violations, and emotional manipulation. I detail specific moments where my autonomy was compromised: from the pressure to engage in intimacy even when physically or emotion...

Intimacy can be manipulated as a tool for control and emotional regulation. She shares intimate stories of recognizing coercive patterns—from subtle guilt-tripping and boundary violations to the misuse of sex as a litmus test for emotional connection.

Whether you’ve felt pressured in your relationships or questioned the true meaning of love and intimacy, this episode offers validation and guidance on setting firm boundaries, reclaim...

Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says, an AI-driven companion designed to support survivors of relationship abuse, joins me to share the inspiration behind Aimee and how it serves as an emotional support tool, offering validation, guidance, and safety planning for those navigating toxic relationships.

We discuss how AI can help survivors recognize red flags, document their experiences, and access trauma-informed resources...

This episode breaks down why conventional breakup rules don’t apply when you’re dealing with manipulation, control, and gaslighting, and offers guidance on how to reclaim your boundaries, your sanity, and your life. By focusing on patterns over promises, I provide tangible steps to help you break free from the emotional tug-of-war and start taking back control. 

Whether you’ve experienced emotional abuse firsthand or are just lookin...

Can an emotionally abusive person change? Paul Colliani joins me to explore the patterns of manipulative behavior, why some people refuse to take accountability, and how anxious attachment and emotional immaturity play into abusive dynamics. 

We also discuss the false hope that keeps many survivors stuck, the importance of recognizing real change versus empty promises, and the hard truth that healing often means letting go.

You can f...

In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really means and why it can feel so hard to leave a toxic relationship. 

Instead of being about sharing past trauma, trauma bonding happens because of a crazy cycle of ups and downs—brief moments of love and kindness that keep you holding on even when you're being hurt. 

In this episode, I discuss how these roller coaster relationships work and why promises to change often end up...

Traditional breakup rules fall short when you're dealing with a partner whose only goal is to control the narrative—and why the breakup never feels like an ending at all. In this episode, I will discuss:

• Unpacks the Cycle: Discover how manipulative behaviors like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and isolation keep you stuck, even when you know you deserve better.
• Sets New Boundaries: Learn actionable steps to reclaim your power ...

"Why am I stuck?" In this episode, I unpack the layers of trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, gaslighting, and self-blame that keep survivors tethered to their abusers long after the relationship ends.

I share insights from my own healing journey, including the emotional grip of intermittent reinforcement and the manipulation of vulnerability. 

If you've ever found yourself struggling to reconcile conflicting emotion...

How can a fear of abandonment lead to pushing people away? In this episode, I explore the complexities of anxious attachment, traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and how self-awareness can pave the way for healthier relationships.

I delve into the inner conflict often experienced by individuals with BPD—a push-pull dynamic where fear of abandonment clashes with fear of engulfment. This tension frequently results in self...

This episode dives into the misunderstood and rarely discussed topic of sexual coercion in relationships. I discuss recognizing coercive patterns and how emotional manipulation can slowly erode personal boundaries, leaving you feeling trapped, guilty, and ashamed.

I also read heartbreaking comments from women who shared their own stories of being pressured, guilted, and manipulated into sex—especially during moments of vulnerability...

Divorce coaching can transform your experience when navigating high-conflict separations, especially with a narcissistic or difficult ex. Learn why proactive coaching is more effective than crisis-mode reactions, how to build resilience during calm periods, and the practical strategies that can save you emotional and financial strain.

In this episode, I share real-life success stories, highlights the role of divorce coachi...