October 31, 2024 • 19 mins
In our latest podcast, hosts Simone, Tanya and Deb talk to the author of “Death by a Thousand Cuts” Shashi Bhat. She shares what inspired these stories and what's next for her. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Join us and unwine with a good book.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Welcome to Relaxing Reads.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hides Devin Halifax, Hide Simona in Vancouver.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hey, it's Tanya and Edmonton.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Thank you once again for joining us on our Relaxing
Reads podcast. So last time we covered a conversation around
Death by a Thousand Cuts from Shushy Butt, and in
this episode we get to talk to her. So before
we do that deb do you want to just brief
us on what the book was about.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, Death by a Thousand Cuts is a collection of
short stories. A writer discovers that her ex has published
a novel about their breakup. An immunocompromised woman falls in love,
only to have her body betray her after her boyfriend
makes an insensitive comment. A college student finds an experimental
procedure that promises to turn her brown eyes blue. A
(00:46):
Reddit post about a man's habit of grabbing his girlfriend's
breast prompts to shocking confession. An unsettling second date leads
to the testing of boundaries, and when a woman begins
to lose her hair, she embarks on an increasingly nightmarish
search for answers. It's in these stories I believe that
many women will find very familiar moments.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Definitely a lot of great moments in this book. Welcoming
Shashy to our podcast. Hello Hie Hi, Hello Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Well you've certainly nailed it describing the dating scene for
so many women, especially for women of color. So we
need to know. Are these stories based on characters you
know or shared experiences amongst your female friends.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
I do sometimes write from personal experience, but they're not
really true stories. I'm interested in writing like the better
story or the story that best gets across the idea,
so they're rarely really true to life.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, they appear to be very true to life.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Oh, thank you. I guess that's good.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Now, Shushy. Where did the title come from? Death by
a Thousand Cuts? We know it's a popular song by
Taylor Swift. It's a form of I guess, torture in China.
So how did that come for you to name this
book of short stories with that title?
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Yeah, you know, at the time, I didn't know that
it was the title of a Taylor Swift song, and
then I thought I would just go with it anyway.
Originally I had called the collection We're All in This Alone,
but then my publisher had another book they'd published a
few years earlier with a similar title. So I went
(02:29):
with Death by a Thousand Cuts because I thought it
suggested this theme of accumulating small injustices and harm that
ultimately become devastating. And I think that theme is present
in some way in every story.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
In the book, absolutely, especially this is Tanya and Evanton.
One of the chapters that I kind of was sort
of I just wanted to cry was the chapter the
Giant Tests or Giant Tests, and I just thought she
was finally seen, and then she gets into an elevator
to go do this amazing you know, introduction, and the
(03:06):
elevator stops, and I just thought I was crushed.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
I was.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
By that. Oh my goodness. So do you do you
know somebody you know that like that, either you know
a giant of a woman or someone who you know
was given an amazing opportunity after being invisible for so
many years and then getting an opportunity and that just
doesn't doesn't come to pass.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
No, Actually, that story it came from like a long
time ago, maybe ken or fifteen years ago. I had
a student who told me his nickname was the Library
Giant because he worked in a library, and the character
is not at all based on that student, but I
just thought that nickname was so beautiful and sad. Originally,
(03:59):
the character was male, and I liked the idea of
playing with the idea of a literal giant working at
the library. Once I decided the collection was going to
focus on women, I changed the gender of that protagonist,
and I thought it opened up a lot of opportunities
about a woman who's afraid to take up space and
(04:23):
who is, as you said, invisible. And I think by
the end of the story, I see it's kind of
a happy ending because I think she embraces her power
and her true self at the end.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Okay, that's an interesting perspective. Yeah, because I was sort of, yeah,
I'm like, no, this can't be happening. I wanted her
to be up there, and I wanted her to shine
in this light.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Now, Seshi, we read your previous book, The Mole's Precious
Substance on Earth. After that, what kind of made you
want to, instead of just like one go at a novel,
write a series of short stories.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
Yeah. So I was writing the short stories simultaneously with
the novel and my last book. I kind of think
of it as a novel in stories too. The short
story is just my favorite form. And I was very
lucky that my publisher gave me a contract for two books.
So the second book was this. I just basically give
(05:21):
them like a nebulous one paragraph pitch for a short
story collection and was just really lucky to get that opportunity.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Amazing And what's great? What's the response been like from
readers with these set of like what have people you
know reached out and told you? Because a lot of
the stories are very relatable in many ways, like each
of us had obviously a story that you know, kind
of pulled us in. But what's the response been like,
or what have you heard?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Yeah, I've been I don't know, surprised is the right word,
but kind of like touched by how people use that
word relatable or say that they see themselves in it,
and I, yeah, I'm really moved by that.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It definitely, you know, so many of the chapters or
the stories I was relating to, I was we were
talking about it before and I was saying about, you know,
the woman losing her hair and you know, I've lost
my hair, and it's like it's a traumatic experience for
a woman to lose their hair. So, you know, when
I was reading that story and you know, the conversation
(06:22):
with she was having with her doctor, I'm like, yep, yep, yep,
you know, been there, you know. And and the woman
who you know was was crippled and then the medication
that she got to fix that made her immune compromised, right,
So it was like, oh, no, she got this fixed,
(06:42):
and all of a sudden, you know, she's compromised in
so many other ways. It's just like she treaded one
for the other, and I'm not you know, I just
felt there was so much passion in the stories that
you were writing, and again relatable, like I just yeah,
had to finish check or take a break and then
go on to the next one, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Yeah. Is there any chance that we could see any
of these stories on the big screen or all of
them in this type of format?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Oh, I would love that, Not yet, but I think
some of them do maybe have kind of cinematic potential. Yeah,
I do think of them in really visual ways.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, it could make for a great like mini series
nine episodes, get all of them in that would definitely
be interesting. When we were talking earlier, deb had mentioned
how interesting it would be for the other side, like men,
to read this novel and to realize like some of
the things they're doing and that we are picking up on.
Have you had any male readers say anything to you
(07:49):
about the book or maybe they better understand females after
reading a book like this.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Oh, that's interesting. Nice. I guess I'm afraid that it
might make some people angry man, because there are so
many depicable male characters in my book. Although I think
there's there's at least one exception that I can think of,
maybe two exceptions. Yeah, I haven't gotten Oh, I guess
(08:16):
maybe like one I can think of where I was
surprised at the reaction, like he maybe didn't see it
as I had intended, and he definitely read it differently
from how a woman would read it. So it has
been interesting to see people's reactions. So maybe, yeah, I
(08:37):
haven't heard from a lot of male readers.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
They've just I think a lot of men should read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Our breasts are not there to grow or you know,
at any given time, our bodies aren't there to just
always be touching just because you're in a relationship that
you get free reign to just you know. And I
thought that was really interesting because I've experienced that a simone.
I think that, yeah, that you had experienced that in
the past, and it's like no, it's like I'm not
(09:08):
my body isn't yours all the time?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
It's too common experience. Yeah, because that, like I wrote
that story, and then when I go on Reddit, I've
spent a lot of time in feminists subreddit, and it's
so common, like like on a weekly basis, women are
posting about similar with scenarios and relationships. Yeah, it's a
(09:33):
little uncanny.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, that was interesting. Yeah, the whole reddit thing and
the the am I the whole chapter, Like we were saying,
that was great because we were saying, as we get older,
we're a little unfiltered at times we say things or
might you know, and so we become a little bit
in our minds thinking did I say too much? Did
I irrigate anyone? So that was that was definitely an
(09:55):
interesting story as well.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yeah, actually that's the story. Now now I'm remembering that
the male reader responded to in a way that surprised me.
Where to me, the actions of the male character seem
far worse than those of the female characters, but he
seemed to kind of put them on the same level,
and that was a new interpretation for me.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, well, it's interesting, that's what we're saying. It happens
so commonly where it's like, you know, from the perspective
as written in the book, it was like, oh, well,
I'm just showing affection and I'm doing this, But it's
like there's a difference between like handholding or hugging and
you know, being a little bit affectionate that way, as
opposed to just like grabbing someone's privates and getting attention.
(10:42):
Like you know, there's a different scenario if you're like
you're saying, you know, that kind of sexual touching in
a non sexual setting. That's where it gets kind of
like what's happening here? So I'm glad. Yeah, I think
that's a chapter that people should share with men or
partners who are doing that, because that's sometimes just that
other perspective. The other one that was interesting was the
(11:05):
one around the cooking oil and the scars and the
conversation around around that and how the mom was just
kind of making more jokes around it, because you know,
I come from the South Asian community, And it's one
of those things where you know, something happens and everybody
just brings it up, even in your household, and it's
really awkward because you've kind of experienced it, you lived it,
you know your situation, but you know the aunties or
(11:27):
people won't stop bringing that up. Have you ever experienced
anything like that in your childhood, whether it was cooking
oil or another situation where people won't stop bringing something
up that someone's been affected by.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and in multiple different contexts too, Like I know,
growing up, I got a lot of comments on my
weight or like the inspiration for that story came from
a similar accident that my mom had a long time ago.
It was not as severe as what happened in the story,
(12:01):
and the character in the story is not my mom
at all, but she did have a like an accident
while frying deep frying Indian food. And Yeah, there is
this like way that people the way that people interact
with you seems to change in a way that's very
(12:22):
like Persius.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, it's like the elephant of the room that you
just keep bringing up as opposed to be like we've
discussed it, let's move on. Let's not make someone so
self conscious, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
And everyone has a solution too, and like maybe assume
that you haven't already tried everything. Yeah yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
When they run out of either ideas or ways to
help you, they just keep going back to like, oh well,
if you can have a laugh over it, then, you know,
make everybody feel more comfortable. Isn't that a good thing?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Sheshi in the in the short story what Can You
Live Without? It talks about a woman who goes on dates,
and she talks about something called foodie call, where women
will go on on dates, you know, first dates only
just to get free food.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Is that like a real thing?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
I guess. I don't know how many people actually do this.
I just saw an article about that. That was where
the idea came from. Okay, yeah, The reason I wrote
that story was because I wrote it when I was
living in Baltimore as a grad student in two thousand
and eight and just like really had no money and
(13:36):
was constantly thinking about money. And it introduced these questions
of like what is cheapness versus frugality? And you know,
like people can be frugal in a kind of aesthetically
pleasing way or in an oraty way, but then there
(13:57):
comes a point when it like he reaches a point
of desperation then, and also like what does generosity mean
in that context?
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, yeah, I didn't have that John was cheap, but
I was like reading it, going, you are so cheap
man anyway.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
But it's true. I read. I think it was an
article that came out like sometime last year where a
woman said she had spent two years going on six
dates a week so she didn't have to buy groceries,
And it was like someone admitted to doing this, and
if you think about it, like now you can you could.
You're just a swipe away from a free dinner because
there's so many people to meet on the internet, whereas
maybe twenty years ago, like meeting someone was different, like
(14:39):
your pool was a lot smaller. So that is definitely interesting.
But yeah, that was that was a funny chapter two
counting coins and throwing coin wrappers at each other. Now
she was there a specific out of the short stories
in this novel? Was there a specific one you really
enjoyed writing or you think about often?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
That's interesting? I think maybe a few favorites, but definitely
am I the app her experts to novel. Oh that
was good. I can think a couple of those ones
where I was pushing myself craftwise to write in a
(15:20):
way that was like challenging to me or different from
other things that I had written.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
No it was amazing. We all enjoyed the book, and
we were thinking, like, because we all kind of read
it in one go, it's probably one of those that
you want to read a story and then take pause, like,
is that kind of ideally how you should reach short stories,
not kind of all in one ghost you have time
to digest them and think about them.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I think so, I think that makes sense. It's I
think it's almost like watching Black Mirror, where an episode,
at least my intent was that like one single story
kind of shakes you in a way or maybe leaves
you with a feeling that needs a bit of processing. Yeah,
so I I like that idea of taking a little
space between them.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And SESHI, what's what's next for you? What are you
kind of working on right now?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I am working on a novel manuscript now. It has
some similar themes. So it's about a woman who gets
a job ghostwriting a memoir for a magician Yeah, there's
more to it, but that's my very short pitch.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I have one more question, if I may have you
had any bad dates that didn't go so well, but
now you can look back and at least have a
laugh over them.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I've had many dates that guy didn't go well, and
I don't know are ones I can laugh at, and
there are definitely ones I can mind for story potential.
So definitely a benefit there.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Oh perfect, Yeah, what's uh sshi? What is a deal
breaker for you?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Oh? Oh my gosh, I'm thrown off. I don't want
to have children? Serious?
Speaker 3 (17:04):
No, No, that's that is that is totally legit.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, like the first story in the book,
the story of her not wanting Yeah, yeah, that's uh.
That's totally great to be able to be vocal and
honest about that, as we should, you know.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Mm hmm yeah, I certainly. I think as you get
older and you're single, you do get a little bit
more like No, I think you get a better sense
of what you want and what you don't want, and
you're more vocal about that and not feeling like you
shouldn't say you know, shouldn't say that. Yeah, this I
couldn't do this or I don't want that, right, Whereas
I think when we're younger, we're like, just love me,
(17:42):
like morph into whatever it is you want me to be,
you know, and when you get older you're like, yeah, no,
not so much, not so much.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah. I think when you're younger in dating, even if
you're more successful than that guy you may be out
on a date with you hold back and allow him
to kind of talk about himself and all his accomplishments,
where we just go, oh yeah, oh okay, because you
don't want them to feel intimidated by a woman who
might have more on the go than them. And then
(18:12):
later in life it's okay to share those experiences over
those you know, accolades, because you've already been through that.
You don't need to shut down. And this is where
we're sharing the space.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Well, thank you so much Sushi for your time today.
We really enjoyed the book, and I think that's just it.
I think I need to go back and reread and
process because you know, they're such great stories and yeah,
you've done a great job with them.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for your questions too.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Enjoy the rest of you too.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Thanks, bye bye.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Cheers, bye, great chatting with her, and of course thank
you to you for being a part of another Relaxing
Reads episode.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Thank you for kicking back and relaxing with us. We
hope you'll join us again on Relaxing Reads.
Join us and unwine with a good book.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Welcome to Relaxing Reads.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hides Devin Halifax, Hide Simona in Vancouver.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hey, it's Tanya and Edmonton.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Thank you once again for joining us on our Relaxing
Reads podcast. So last time we covered a conversation around
Death by a Thousand Cuts from Shushy Butt, and in
this episode we get to talk to her. So before
we do that deb do you want to just brief
us on what the book was about.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, Death by a Thousand Cuts is a collection of
short stories. A writer discovers that her ex has published
a novel about their breakup. An immunocompromised woman falls in love,
only to have her body betray her after her boyfriend
makes an insensitive comment. A college student finds an experimental
procedure that promises to turn her brown eyes blue. A
(00:46):
Reddit post about a man's habit of grabbing his girlfriend's
breast prompts to shocking confession. An unsettling second date leads
to the testing of boundaries, and when a woman begins
to lose her hair, she embarks on an increasingly nightmarish
search for answers. It's in these stories I believe that
many women will find very familiar moments.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Definitely a lot of great moments in this book. Welcoming
Shashy to our podcast. Hello Hie Hi, Hello Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Well you've certainly nailed it describing the dating scene for
so many women, especially for women of color. So we
need to know. Are these stories based on characters you
know or shared experiences amongst your female friends.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
I do sometimes write from personal experience, but they're not
really true stories. I'm interested in writing like the better
story or the story that best gets across the idea,
so they're rarely really true to life.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, they appear to be very true to life.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Oh, thank you. I guess that's good.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Now, Shushy. Where did the title come from? Death by
a Thousand Cuts? We know it's a popular song by
Taylor Swift. It's a form of I guess, torture in China.
So how did that come for you to name this
book of short stories with that title?
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Yeah, you know, at the time, I didn't know that
it was the title of a Taylor Swift song, and
then I thought I would just go with it anyway.
Originally I had called the collection We're All in This Alone,
but then my publisher had another book they'd published a
few years earlier with a similar title. So I went
(02:29):
with Death by a Thousand Cuts because I thought it
suggested this theme of accumulating small injustices and harm that
ultimately become devastating. And I think that theme is present
in some way in every story.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
In the book, absolutely, especially this is Tanya and Evanton.
One of the chapters that I kind of was sort
of I just wanted to cry was the chapter the
Giant Tests or Giant Tests, and I just thought she
was finally seen, and then she gets into an elevator
to go do this amazing you know, introduction, and the
(03:06):
elevator stops, and I just thought I was crushed.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
I was.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
By that. Oh my goodness. So do you do you
know somebody you know that like that, either you know
a giant of a woman or someone who you know
was given an amazing opportunity after being invisible for so
many years and then getting an opportunity and that just
doesn't doesn't come to pass.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
No, Actually, that story it came from like a long
time ago, maybe ken or fifteen years ago. I had
a student who told me his nickname was the Library
Giant because he worked in a library, and the character
is not at all based on that student, but I
just thought that nickname was so beautiful and sad. Originally,
(03:59):
the character was male, and I liked the idea of
playing with the idea of a literal giant working at
the library. Once I decided the collection was going to
focus on women, I changed the gender of that protagonist,
and I thought it opened up a lot of opportunities
about a woman who's afraid to take up space and
(04:23):
who is, as you said, invisible. And I think by
the end of the story, I see it's kind of
a happy ending because I think she embraces her power
and her true self at the end.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Okay, that's an interesting perspective. Yeah, because I was sort of, yeah,
I'm like, no, this can't be happening. I wanted her
to be up there, and I wanted her to shine
in this light.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Now, Seshi, we read your previous book, The Mole's Precious
Substance on Earth. After that, what kind of made you
want to, instead of just like one go at a novel,
write a series of short stories.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
Yeah. So I was writing the short stories simultaneously with
the novel and my last book. I kind of think
of it as a novel in stories too. The short
story is just my favorite form. And I was very
lucky that my publisher gave me a contract for two books.
So the second book was this. I just basically give
(05:21):
them like a nebulous one paragraph pitch for a short
story collection and was just really lucky to get that opportunity.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Amazing And what's great? What's the response been like from
readers with these set of like what have people you
know reached out and told you? Because a lot of
the stories are very relatable in many ways, like each
of us had obviously a story that you know, kind
of pulled us in. But what's the response been like,
or what have you heard?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Yeah, I've been I don't know, surprised is the right word,
but kind of like touched by how people use that
word relatable or say that they see themselves in it,
and I, yeah, I'm really moved by that.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It definitely, you know, so many of the chapters or
the stories I was relating to, I was we were
talking about it before and I was saying about, you know,
the woman losing her hair and you know, I've lost
my hair, and it's like it's a traumatic experience for
a woman to lose their hair. So, you know, when
I was reading that story and you know, the conversation
(06:22):
with she was having with her doctor, I'm like, yep, yep, yep,
you know, been there, you know. And and the woman
who you know was was crippled and then the medication
that she got to fix that made her immune compromised, right,
So it was like, oh, no, she got this fixed,
(06:42):
and all of a sudden, you know, she's compromised in
so many other ways. It's just like she treaded one
for the other, and I'm not you know, I just
felt there was so much passion in the stories that
you were writing, and again relatable, like I just yeah,
had to finish check or take a break and then
go on to the next one, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Yeah. Is there any chance that we could see any
of these stories on the big screen or all of
them in this type of format?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Oh, I would love that, Not yet, but I think
some of them do maybe have kind of cinematic potential. Yeah,
I do think of them in really visual ways.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, it could make for a great like mini series
nine episodes, get all of them in that would definitely
be interesting. When we were talking earlier, deb had mentioned
how interesting it would be for the other side, like men,
to read this novel and to realize like some of
the things they're doing and that we are picking up on.
Have you had any male readers say anything to you
(07:49):
about the book or maybe they better understand females after
reading a book like this.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Oh, that's interesting. Nice. I guess I'm afraid that it
might make some people angry man, because there are so
many depicable male characters in my book. Although I think
there's there's at least one exception that I can think of,
maybe two exceptions. Yeah, I haven't gotten Oh, I guess
(08:16):
maybe like one I can think of where I was
surprised at the reaction, like he maybe didn't see it
as I had intended, and he definitely read it differently
from how a woman would read it. So it has
been interesting to see people's reactions. So maybe, yeah, I
(08:37):
haven't heard from a lot of male readers.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
They've just I think a lot of men should read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Our breasts are not there to grow or you know,
at any given time, our bodies aren't there to just
always be touching just because you're in a relationship that
you get free reign to just you know. And I
thought that was really interesting because I've experienced that a simone.
I think that, yeah, that you had experienced that in
the past, and it's like no, it's like I'm not
(09:08):
my body isn't yours all the time?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
It's too common experience. Yeah, because that, like I wrote
that story, and then when I go on Reddit, I've
spent a lot of time in feminists subreddit, and it's
so common, like like on a weekly basis, women are
posting about similar with scenarios and relationships. Yeah, it's a
(09:33):
little uncanny.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, that was interesting. Yeah, the whole reddit thing and
the the am I the whole chapter, Like we were saying,
that was great because we were saying, as we get older,
we're a little unfiltered at times we say things or
might you know, and so we become a little bit
in our minds thinking did I say too much? Did
I irrigate anyone? So that was that was definitely an
(09:55):
interesting story as well.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yeah, actually that's the story. Now now I'm remembering that
the male reader responded to in a way that surprised me.
Where to me, the actions of the male character seem
far worse than those of the female characters, but he
seemed to kind of put them on the same level,
and that was a new interpretation for me.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, well, it's interesting, that's what we're saying. It happens
so commonly where it's like, you know, from the perspective
as written in the book, it was like, oh, well,
I'm just showing affection and I'm doing this, But it's
like there's a difference between like handholding or hugging and
you know, being a little bit affectionate that way, as
opposed to just like grabbing someone's privates and getting attention.
(10:42):
Like you know, there's a different scenario if you're like
you're saying, you know, that kind of sexual touching in
a non sexual setting. That's where it gets kind of
like what's happening here? So I'm glad. Yeah, I think
that's a chapter that people should share with men or
partners who are doing that, because that's sometimes just that
other perspective. The other one that was interesting was the
(11:05):
one around the cooking oil and the scars and the
conversation around around that and how the mom was just
kind of making more jokes around it, because you know,
I come from the South Asian community, And it's one
of those things where you know, something happens and everybody
just brings it up, even in your household, and it's
really awkward because you've kind of experienced it, you lived it,
you know your situation, but you know the aunties or
(11:27):
people won't stop bringing that up. Have you ever experienced
anything like that in your childhood, whether it was cooking
oil or another situation where people won't stop bringing something
up that someone's been affected by.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and in multiple different contexts too, Like I know,
growing up, I got a lot of comments on my
weight or like the inspiration for that story came from
a similar accident that my mom had a long time ago.
It was not as severe as what happened in the story,
(12:01):
and the character in the story is not my mom
at all, but she did have a like an accident
while frying deep frying Indian food. And Yeah, there is
this like way that people the way that people interact
with you seems to change in a way that's very
(12:22):
like Persius.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, it's like the elephant of the room that you
just keep bringing up as opposed to be like we've
discussed it, let's move on. Let's not make someone so
self conscious, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
And everyone has a solution too, and like maybe assume
that you haven't already tried everything. Yeah yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
When they run out of either ideas or ways to
help you, they just keep going back to like, oh well,
if you can have a laugh over it, then, you know,
make everybody feel more comfortable. Isn't that a good thing?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Sheshi in the in the short story what Can You
Live Without? It talks about a woman who goes on dates,
and she talks about something called foodie call, where women
will go on on dates, you know, first dates only
just to get free food.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Is that like a real thing?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
I guess. I don't know how many people actually do this.
I just saw an article about that. That was where
the idea came from. Okay, yeah, The reason I wrote
that story was because I wrote it when I was
living in Baltimore as a grad student in two thousand
and eight and just like really had no money and
(13:36):
was constantly thinking about money. And it introduced these questions
of like what is cheapness versus frugality? And you know,
like people can be frugal in a kind of aesthetically
pleasing way or in an oraty way, but then there
(13:57):
comes a point when it like he reaches a point
of desperation then, and also like what does generosity mean
in that context?
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, yeah, I didn't have that John was cheap, but
I was like reading it, going, you are so cheap
man anyway.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
But it's true. I read. I think it was an
article that came out like sometime last year where a
woman said she had spent two years going on six
dates a week so she didn't have to buy groceries,
And it was like someone admitted to doing this, and
if you think about it, like now you can you could.
You're just a swipe away from a free dinner because
there's so many people to meet on the internet, whereas
maybe twenty years ago, like meeting someone was different, like
(14:39):
your pool was a lot smaller. So that is definitely interesting.
But yeah, that was that was a funny chapter two
counting coins and throwing coin wrappers at each other. Now
she was there a specific out of the short stories
in this novel? Was there a specific one you really
enjoyed writing or you think about often?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
That's interesting? I think maybe a few favorites, but definitely
am I the app her experts to novel. Oh that
was good. I can think a couple of those ones
where I was pushing myself craftwise to write in a
(15:20):
way that was like challenging to me or different from
other things that I had written.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
No it was amazing. We all enjoyed the book, and
we were thinking, like, because we all kind of read
it in one go, it's probably one of those that
you want to read a story and then take pause, like,
is that kind of ideally how you should reach short stories,
not kind of all in one ghost you have time
to digest them and think about them.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I think so, I think that makes sense. It's I
think it's almost like watching Black Mirror, where an episode,
at least my intent was that like one single story
kind of shakes you in a way or maybe leaves
you with a feeling that needs a bit of processing. Yeah,
so I I like that idea of taking a little
space between them.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And SESHI, what's what's next for you? What are you
kind of working on right now?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I am working on a novel manuscript now. It has
some similar themes. So it's about a woman who gets
a job ghostwriting a memoir for a magician Yeah, there's
more to it, but that's my very short pitch.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I have one more question, if I may have you
had any bad dates that didn't go so well, but
now you can look back and at least have a
laugh over them.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I've had many dates that guy didn't go well, and
I don't know are ones I can laugh at, and
there are definitely ones I can mind for story potential.
So definitely a benefit there.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Oh perfect, Yeah, what's uh sshi? What is a deal
breaker for you?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Oh? Oh my gosh, I'm thrown off. I don't want
to have children? Serious?
Speaker 3 (17:04):
No, No, that's that is that is totally legit.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, like the first story in the book,
the story of her not wanting Yeah, yeah, that's uh.
That's totally great to be able to be vocal and
honest about that, as we should, you know.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Mm hmm yeah, I certainly. I think as you get
older and you're single, you do get a little bit
more like No, I think you get a better sense
of what you want and what you don't want, and
you're more vocal about that and not feeling like you
shouldn't say you know, shouldn't say that. Yeah, this I
couldn't do this or I don't want that, right, Whereas
I think when we're younger, we're like, just love me,
(17:42):
like morph into whatever it is you want me to be,
you know, and when you get older you're like, yeah, no,
not so much, not so much.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah. I think when you're younger in dating, even if
you're more successful than that guy you may be out
on a date with you hold back and allow him
to kind of talk about himself and all his accomplishments,
where we just go, oh yeah, oh okay, because you
don't want them to feel intimidated by a woman who
might have more on the go than them. And then
(18:12):
later in life it's okay to share those experiences over
those you know, accolades, because you've already been through that.
You don't need to shut down. And this is where
we're sharing the space.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Well, thank you so much Sushi for your time today.
We really enjoyed the book, and I think that's just it.
I think I need to go back and reread and
process because you know, they're such great stories and yeah,
you've done a great job with them.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for your questions too.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Enjoy the rest of you too.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Thanks, bye bye.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Cheers, bye, great chatting with her, and of course thank
you to you for being a part of another Relaxing
Reads episode.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Thank you for kicking back and relaxing with us. We
hope you'll join us again on Relaxing Reads.
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