Edit Your Life

Although you may not claim full authorship credit for your life, you can freely edit any time. Here's what might help from Donald Miller's book, A million miles in a thousand years: What I learned while editing my life. And if you'd like more, this is a non-affiliate link to his book list.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
[ music].
Hi, this is Rob Sepich, andwelcome to Relaxing with Rob.
Last time, we talked about thejoys available to us during an

(00:20):
average day, and even throughoutan average life.
But as I hope you heard, I wastalking about the cumulative
effects of doing the things youlove and provide meaning
throughout these average days.
Today I'd like to talk aboutyour ability to make"edits" to
your life.
I'm not saying"authoring" yourlife as other people have,

(00:43):
because I think that implies alevel of privilege and control
that not many people have.
There are just so manycircumstances that are beyond
our control.
But given the life you haveright now, whether you're 18 or
88, what can you do to improveupon it?

(01:06):
You might think of this as"a fewsmall repairs," in the words of
Shawn Colvin, or something hugelike adopting the identity of a
whole new character with abetter story, as I learned from
the author Donald Miller.
Let me tell you just a littlebit about him.
Miller wrote a memoir that wasquite successful, and then his

(01:30):
career seemed to stall.
He couldn't get out of bed onmany days.
And he says that he dideverything he could just to
avoid responsibility--livingvicariously through others.
For example, he'd watched theTour de France each year on TV,
but he would not get on a bikehimself.

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And then a couple producersasked if they could make a movie
based on his memoir.
And he agreed, and he started towork on a screenplay with them.
And throughout this process, hewas asked essentially to"edit
his life." And it's a concept hehad never considered before.

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You know, movies based on booksnever contain everything.
Some details are dropped andsometimes a few are added, just
for a little context.
When I saw the first"HarryPotter" movie after reading the
book, I was so disappointed thatmy favorite line was omitted.
This is toward the end whenDumbledore reassures Harry with

(02:35):
the line,[quote]"To thewell-organized mind, death is
but the next great adventure."Anyway, Donald Miller got some
help during this process byattending a writer's workshop
taught by the renowned RobertMcKee.
And it was there that Millerlearned the essence of a story:

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[quote]"A story is a characterwho wants something and
overcomes conflict to get it."[end quote] Let me repeat that
because I think it's prettyimportant.
"A story is a character whowants something and overcomes

(03:17):
conflict to get it." If youthink about it, stories about
people who don't really wantanything or don't have to
struggle much to achievesomething are not typically made
into movies.
Or if they are, they're prettyeasy to forget.
If you agree, then thisunderstanding might help reframe

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some of your problems asnecessary to your character.
We tend to forget easy successesin life, but we remember our big
struggles and what we learnedfrom them.
Miller started making changes inhis real life during the writing
process, kind of like lifeimitating art.

(04:03):
For example, he went from whathe felt was wasting his money to
founding a nonprofit.
And he went from romanticfantasies to taking some risks
and developing actualrelationships.
And he got on his bike and herode with a group across the

(04:24):
U.S.
from coast to coast! Hedeveloped a"new story" for his
life in which he became a"bettercharacter." In episode 25,"Be
Present& Act As If," I talkedabout certain ways you could act
as if you're the person you'dlike to be in some situations,

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like talking to professors ortaking tests or public speaking.
And to avoid repetition, ifyou're interested in this idea
of editing your life, Iencourage you to re-listen to
that episode for specifics.
Right now, I'd just like to readone paragraph from Miller's book

(05:09):
about how we often take life forgranted.
And by the way, it's called"Amillion miles in a thousand

years (05:16):
What I learned while editing my life." And for your
convenience, I'll place a linkto his website and book in the
show notes.
And this is a non-affiliatelink, so if you purchase
something, I don't receiveanything.

This passage comes from page 59: "I've wondered, though, if one (05:31):
undefined
of the reasons we fail toacknowledge the brilliance of
life is because we don't wantthe responsibility inherent in
the acknowledgment.
We don't want to be charactersin a story because characters

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have to move and breathe andface conflict with courage.
And if life isn't remarkable,then we don't have to do any of
that; we can be unwillingvictims rather than grateful
participants." Personally, Ijust love his phrase,"grateful

(06:15):
participants." Do you feel likeyou're a grateful participant in
life?
There might be some subtle waysthat you feel, if not like a
victim, at least like you don'thave much power or that you're
just going through the motions,getting through the day.
Maybe you're in college andyou're in a major that your

(06:38):
parents steered you towardbecause it was theirs.
Or maybe it's towards a fieldthat offers more financial
security than they experienced.
But what if you don't like it?
You kind of know it's amismatch.
But with each passing semester,maybe you feel a little more

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obliged to stick with it.
If so, I've known many studentsjust like you.
Hey, your parents have goodintentions.
They want what they think isbest.
However, consider NatashaBedingfield's song,"Unwritten."
It was the most played song onU.

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S.
radio in 2006, so it must havehit a responsive chord.
She sings,"No one else, no oneelse/ Can speak the words on
your lips." And she goes on tosay,"Live your life with arms
wide open/ Today is where yourbook begins." Even if they're

(07:46):
well-intended, neither yourparents nor anyone else can
speak the words on your lips.
They don't have final editingrights to your life.
That's on you.
And the good news is that ifyou're not crazy about the story
you find yourself in, at anyage, you can revise it.

(08:12):
Well, happy editing.
Thank you for listening, andwe'll talk again soon.
[ music].