July 29, 2026 • 52 mins
What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life you want… isn’t your circumstances, but the parts of yourself you’ve never learned to understand?
In this episode of Relentlessly Authentic, Rachael Roykovich and Gab dive into one of the most transformative conversations you can have with yourself: meeting your shadow.
Your shadow isn’t something to fear. It’s the younger, protective version of you that learned how to survive through people-pleasing, perfectionism, hyper-independence, overworking, or playing small. Those patterns may have kept you safe once—but they could also be the very things keeping you stuck today.
Together, we explore what shadow work really is, why your triggers are invitations instead of inconveniences, and how your nervous system, beliefs, emotions, and identity shape the energy you bring into every area of your life.
We also unpack what people often call your “frequency”—not as something mystical, but as the sum of your beliefs, emotional state, nervous system, thoughts, and self-concept. When you change your internal world, you naturally begin making different decisions, noticing different opportunities, and creating a different reality.
If you’ve ever wondered why you keep attracting the same relationships, repeating the same patterns, or feeling like you’re doing all the “right” things but still not moving forward, this conversation is for you.
Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about remembering who you were before fear convinced you to hide.
In this episode, we discuss:
- What the shadow self really is and how it develops
- Why your triggers are powerful invitations for healing
- The connection between your nervous system, identity, and emotional patterns
- Why your past doesn’t have to become your future
- How beliefs shape your self-concept and influence your reality
- The difference between surviving and truly thriving
- Why healing isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about integrating every part of yourself
- How presence, mindfulness, and self-awareness create lasting transformation
- The role of vulnerability, compassion, and safety in personal growth
- Reflective questions to help you uncover the unconscious patterns running your life
Whether you’re beginning your healing journey or have been doing the inner work for years, this episode will help you understand yourself with more compassion, create safety within your body, and reconnect with the most authentic version of who you are.
Because the life you’re longing for doesn’t begin when everything around you changes.
It begins the moment you stop abandoning yourself.
Find Rachael on Instagram @highvibeyogii
Find Gaby on Instagram @rising.monarca and @gabrielafverdusco on Tik Tok
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:22):
Good morning.
Sun rising, grand rising.
Good morning.
Welcome back to a relentlesslyauthentic.
I don't think we've done this ina while, Gab.
Do you want to take a fewbreaths?
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03 (00:36):
Yeah.
It's early for you.
It's a rainy, dreary day here inNorth Carolina.
It's been raining for like aweek straight.
Oh my gosh, it's been 105 here.
Yesterday was 107.
SPEAKER_02 (00:48):
Oh my god.
Very, very hot.
Damn.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:53):
Well, maybe start to close down the eyes, maybe
placing a hand on your heart.
If you're driving, obviously donot close your eyes and stay
safe, but maybe take a few deepbreaths with us.
Option to kind of hook yourthumbs together, creating like a
butterfly's wings with yourhands.
Some bilateral stimulation canbe nice for toning your vagus
(01:17):
nerve.
So you can start to tap right toleft, left to right.
SPEAKER_02 (01:26):
Maybe just bring some awareness to how you're
feeling in this moment.
The thoughts that are passing byyour mind.
SPEAKER_03 (01:50):
Noticing if your breathing is in your chest or in
your belly.
Elongating your spine.
Sitting up a little straighter,a little truer.
(02:10):
Let's take a big breathtogether, co-regulate, inhale
through your big nose, inflateyour belly.
And then exhale out the mouthand let it all go.
This time let's inhale for acount of four, three, two, one,
hold at the top for four, three,two, one, exhale for six, five,
(02:36):
four, three, two, one, inhalefor four, three, two, one, hold
for four, three, two one, exhalefor six, five, four, three, two,
one, one more round.
Inhale for four, three, two one,hold for four, three, two, one,
(03:00):
exhale for six, five, four, two,three, two, and one.
So just sit in some energy, somerelaxation you just cultivated
for yourself.
Feel whatever shifts might havehappened right on the surface,
the tingles on your skin.
SPEAKER_02 (03:25):
The coherence with your heart.
The calmness in your brain.
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
In your mind.
And can we keep this awarenessas we roll into this
conversation?
This presence, this clarity,this calm, this flow.
And hopefully this will serve inthe highest good of all of
(03:54):
everything for the listener andfor you and I, Gab.
Maybe with a smile on your face,find something that you're
really fucking grateful for.
Allow that feeling to expand inyour heart.
Maybe you feel that heart beatagainst your hand.
(04:21):
Allow that bit of gratitude thento emanate all around you into a
feeling of abundance.
Into a feeling of love, of joy,of gratitude, of thanks, for
waking up this morning, forbeing healthy, for being here,
for being able to show up andeven listen to a podcast.
(04:47):
Because to someone else withless, that's a lot.
So if we can train our brain,our mind to realize that we're
already an abundant being, we'llattract more blessings and magic
and miracles into our life.
SPEAKER_02 (05:05):
But we have to train our mind to see it, to know it,
and to feel it.
Thus we get to embody it.
Take an inhale through the nose.
SPEAKER_03 (05:52):
A new uh routine.
SPEAKER_02 (05:55):
Yeah.
Trying to find my way for sure.
SPEAKER_03 (06:00):
Well, um, today's topic, kind of going off of what
we kind of started to talk aboutlast week, in terms of like your
explaining your family and theshadow self and operating more
from fear or operating from pasttrauma or past experiences that
are now being projected ontolike this current experience
(06:21):
that you're having with you andyour family.
And so I think describing ortalking about like what the
shadow self is, I think would behelpful for maybe listeners to
kind of understand what theshadow self is.
I like to think of the shadowself as kind of that part of our
unconscious, like the thingsthat we are not aware of, the
(06:42):
part of yourself that you'vekind of rejected, hidden, or
learned wasn't acceptable.
Thus, we can think of that aslike childhood experience is
unmet needs, emotional wounds,beliefs about yourself that
aren't necessarily true,protective coping mechanisms.
I think it's painful to look ata lot of these.
(07:03):
So we reject it and we avoid itat all fucking costs.
But these things aren'tnecessarily bad or evil or yeah,
they're just adaptive that we'velearned to do to cope and to get
love and to try to moldourselves into a version that is
acceptable, right?
And um to get us the things thatwe essentially we want.
(07:27):
But they're not necessarily, Ithink, well, I think they can be
personality traits until werewire them to be different, to
like go into our subconsciousand to go into our pain and our
past and our trauma and reworkthose shadow parts, accept them
and integrate them in.
Cause I that's essentially whatthey're asking for is to
(07:48):
actually to be loved and we'vedeemed them as wrong or not good
enough, or uh the pieces ofourselves that we have felt to
kind of hide against the world.
And I don't think I do thinkthey can become a part of our
personality, but our personalityalso can change.
So they're actually personalityprotection strategies.
(08:12):
So things that you can think ofin this is like people pleasing,
perfectionism, overworking,control, hyperindependence,
avoidance, procrastination,self-sabotage, anxiety, always
staying busy, needing externalvalidation, difficulty
receiving, fear of being seen.
And so these aren't necessarilyflaws, that they're nervous
(08:33):
system adaptations.
So I also like to think of likeyour nervous system remembers
what your mind forgets, becausethese are all subconscious and
you're not really aware of them.
So, Gab, with that being said,where what do you think of
shadow self?
What do you necessarilycategorize that as?
And what has been a doorway intoyour sh personal sh shadows?
(08:56):
What have you found there?
And do you relate to any ofthose kind of perfectionism,
people pleasing, avoidance,procrastination, self-sabotage,
anxiety?
You know, do you feel like yourshadow self or behaviors come up
or are shown in those traits?
SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
Oh, most certainly.
I mean, I think you named awhole bunch, and I was like,
yep, yep, yep, yep.
I think a big one for me isbusying myself.
Busying myself, disassociationoften, you know.
Um, I think I I think I'm at apoint in my life now where I
it's a bit harder for me todisassociate myself because I
(09:32):
don't have my kids around me.
So I'm kind of forced to likesit.
And because I'm a person thatdoesn't watch TV, like I don't
ever really watch TV at all.
I have a lot of moments whereI'm just sitting with myself.
And uh I find myself thosemoments at times can be scary or
like I'm avoiding it, right?
(09:54):
I'm like, hmm, what else can Ido?
What else can I do?
Right?
What else can I do?
Because I don't want to sit withmyself.
But I think that I've learned touse that almost like as an
invitation, right?
unknown (10:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:06):
An invitation to do the work.
I think shadows self sometimescan show up.
I mean, in order to like helpidentify them, is like anytime
you get jealous, somebody makesyou somebody kind of uh makes
you feel jealous.
Um, that's an invitation for youto look at that and be like, why
am I feeling jealous?
(10:27):
What is it about this personthat makes me envy them or envy
their energy or what is it,right?
Somebody that triggers you,right?
Somebody that comes into yourlife and is triggering you
oftentimes, whatever they aretriggering us in is something
that we probably need to take aharder look at.
But also I think a lot of thingsare learned, like we have a lot
(10:49):
of learned behaviors fromwhether it's society, like for
me, it's a lot of my familydynamics, you know, learned
behaviors and then it's theprogramming, right?
The conditioning that we'vegrown up with, that a lot of
times our shadows lie in therebecause we were told we had to
(11:10):
be this way, but that's not whowe are.
So there's been shadows thathave accumulated over the course
of the last few years that havecaused us, you know, to kind of
morph into this person.
And uh then we've we've learnedto put on performances rather
than live our lives, right?
unknown (11:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
We feel we have to put on these performances in
order for us to go on in life.
So I think there's so manydifferent ways.
I mean, anything that makes youfeel uncomfortable, anything
that, you know, triggers you,anything that scares you, I
would invite you to sit with it,you know, to sit with it because
(11:48):
nine out of ten times it's gonnabe a shadow.
SPEAKER_03 (11:51):
Yeah, I like how you said it's like an invitation.
Because I think a lot of thetime it's a we use it as a
signal, right?
Like as a pulse to run away, butit's actually the opposite.
You actually want to movetowards it and you want to go
into it.
And I like to think of like theshadow selves of the as these
parts of the psyche almost thatwe've exiled, right?
(12:13):
It's like the parts of thepsyche that have been cut off or
like stashed away for furtherprocessing in the subconscious
mind.
And we've kind of like exiledthem off the island.
And I think healing essentiallyis taking those parts of your
shadow self and againintegrating them back in.
So I really like too what yousaid there, Gab, of like being
(12:35):
triggered or being jealous.
Ultimately, I think that's aninvitation that there's a part
of yourself you actually need tolove more, right?
So there's something aboutsomeone else that's triggering
your envy, your jealousy becauseyou feel like you have a lack of
it in your life, right?
So they're bringing out thatfeeling in you because you feel
like you're lacking it yourself,so that you're separate from it.
(12:56):
And that's a lot to uncover andlike dig deep about.
And I know most people maybedon't have all of that
self-awareness in the moment,but these are things that we can
start to grow the capacity tounderstand about ourselves.
And I think ultimately that'sthe healing journey, right?
And it's taking those piecepieces of the shadow self and
(13:18):
doing some work around them,loving them, and then
integrating them back intowholeness, right?
Of like, I felt that wayprobably because I was told at a
certain time, or I had a certainevent in my childhood where I,
you know, I didn't feel thatway, or I got the opposite, or I
learned the opposite, orwhatever.
(13:39):
I think we think of like traumaof having to be like these huge,
really big traumatic events.
And that doesn't necessarilythat it can be, absolutely, but
it's also the parts of us, likewhen we did get as a child, our
needs weren't met, that weweren't seen, that we weren't
validated, that we didn't getthe actual love, care, and needs
(14:01):
met that we needed to.
That is also traumatic for achild.
And those times where we wantedour parent to show up for us, or
yeah, our parent to show up andthey didn't show up for us, or
we didn't get validated, right?
We kind of take that memory,that moment, that story, cut it
(14:23):
off from our psyche.
It gets stored into oursubconscious mind.
Then that a belief and a storygets molded from that experience
of I wasn't good enough, thiswasn't good enough, I'm
unlovable, I'm X, Y, or Z.
And then we start to come andformulate all these different
parts of self.
And I think we probably havelike thousands of different
(14:47):
parts of self that we've kind ofdone this to.
And again, this is survival.
We're not conscious of it.
We're not doing it withmalintent.
It is how our nervous system andbrain have coped in order to
protect ourselves.
And we're ultimately alsodealing with programming, I
think, which is wild gab of likeprehistoric, like man being like
(15:09):
mauled by and being run by, likerunning from a bear, right?
And so a lot of that ways ournervous system hasn't changed
over thousands of years.
And now we associate like payingbills with like anxiety and
being put into that same similarsurvival state.
And these shadow selves arereally kind of like running the
program of your mind in thebackground, and you don't even
(15:32):
really understand that'shappening.
And so, Gab, what on your kindof healing journey?
What what kind of shadow work doyou feel like helped you the
most?
SPEAKER_01 (15:45):
I think that honestly, like I wasn't really
like there were so many.
I don't think Yeah, supplyreally spoke about shadow work
very much.
SPEAKER_03 (15:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:54):
I think I was introduced to that after I
became part of Mystic Flora, orright, I joined that community
where I actually got a shadowwork coach.
And I was like, what is shadowwork?
Like, I don't know what this is.
You know, we were not, we werenot really taught about that.
And I remember sitting down withthem the first time, and I was
(16:15):
like, Well, I'm here becausethis person does this to me,
that person does that, thisperson does this, you know, and
I'm like, and they make me feellike this and they make me feel
like that.
And she was like, Okay, shewrote everything down and she
was like, So everything thesepeople make you feel, I'm gonna
(16:36):
ask you to like go deep.
What do you feel when thisperson does this?
What about that?
Do you feel?
And and I kind of learned,right, through that, because she
didn't tell me anything thatsession.
It was not until the nextsession that she had me do all
this writing and stuff.
And uh, she's like, it kind oflike connects, right?
(16:58):
She's like, when when is thefirst time you remember feeling
jealous?
When is the first time youremember feeling like this
person triggered you?
Right.
And then when I started toreally sit with those feelings
and think about it, like thesewere feelings that I felt way,
way, way, way, way, way beforewhen I was very young, right?
And so we revisited that and waslike, why did I feel this way?
(17:21):
Why didn't kind of I started tounpack it?
SPEAKER_03 (17:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
And then I started to really connect the dots and
be like, oh my gosh, all thosetimes I felt jealous, all those
times I was such a bitch in highschool, you know, to these girls
that I was just really mean to.
It was all because I just didn'tlike myself.
I wasn't happy with who I was,right?
And it was a projection, like Iwanted to be more like them, or
(17:46):
I maybe like their hair orwhatever it was.
And so that's kind of how Ilearned to do shadow work.
And now as an adult doing shadowwork, I'm able, obviously, it
gets easier, right?
You're able to identify likewhen you're out in the street
and you're like, oh, why is youknow, could I catch myself?
I'm like, oh, why is that personlike doing that?
(18:07):
You know, like that's kind ofweird.
And I've kind of taught mydaughter too.
So she's like, why is it weird?
Is it weird just because youwouldn't do it or because like
it would make you uncomfortableto do it, or like you're not
couldn't you're not uh secureenough to like walk around like
that or whatever, you know?
And I'm like, yeah, maybe, youknow.
So we have these conversationswhere I'm like, okay, but yeah,
(18:28):
I think that everybody should doshadow work.
I think everybody should doshadow work.
I think it's not easy to do.
It really isn't.
No, because it does make you putyourself on the spot, you know,
and realize that again, likeWill said, like I've said,
everything that happens to us isour fault at some point.
(18:50):
Like we kind of our actions wewhich we don't notice at times,
kind of can trigger others andwe have to take responsibility
for our own stuff and not walkaround thinking there's
something wrong with the entireworld, right?
SPEAKER_03 (19:06):
Well, that's kind of victim mentality, right?
Like it's not why is thishappening to me?
SPEAKER_01 (19:11):
It's uh this But why are these people victims?
These people are victims becausethey have they're not in a place
where they can have the capacityto be able to identify shadows,
you know.
And so they're it's hard, right?
It's hard to do that.
So it's easier to be like, no,this is your fault and your
fault.
SPEAKER_03 (19:27):
Yeah, because you don't have to take any
responsibility.
SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
Yeah, even though the common denominator is giving
you.
SPEAKER_03 (19:33):
Right.
Right.
And I think most likeself-development or personal
growth is kind of like fixyourself, discipline yourself.
And I do think, or like pushharder, which I do think there
is a time and a place forcertain things, but I also do
think that's one side of likegrowth.
But I also think there is a sideof healing that is realizing
(19:57):
that you have to give yourselfgrace and compassion because
there is this part that's tryingto protect you and trying to
tell you something.
And so it's more, I think,becoming getting in dialogue
with those parts of self insteadof like asking, why am I like
this or like what's wrong withme?
It's kind of like why, like,when did this become necessary
(20:18):
for me to like embody this partof self, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
Or protect this part of self.
It's a coping mechanism, right?
Like this is what we do in orderto continue to live our life is
choose to blame others or notlook at ourselves just because
it's that's a way of us copingthrough life, right?
Yeah.
And what I wanted to say too islike, you're right, Rach.
There's a season for everything.
And I've learned that the hardway.
(20:44):
It's not just learning,learning, learning, learning,
learning, learning, learning.
It's learning and integrating,learning and integrating.
And then also having momentswhere, because I've done this
where like I love the spiritualwoo-woo stuff, but also having
moments where I kind ofcompletely remove myself from
(21:06):
that for a little bit and justhave solidarity, you know, have
solitude and sit with myself andjust really like try to ground
myself and really, really kindof lean on Mama Gaia, you know,
to just sit in the with theearth and live that, right?
And endure that and absorb that,right, and be present.
(21:28):
And it's interesting because alot of this work, what we don't
realize is that even with shadowwork, a lot of the work, a lot
of the answers are very delayed.
So you're not gonna do the work,you're not gonna do breath work,
you're not gonna do EFT, you'renot gonna do hypnosis, you're
not gonna do all these energeticencoding and all this stuff and
(21:49):
have your answers tomorrow,right?
It really takes you integratingthese things and sitting for a
couple weeks in quiet, you know.
With yourself for things tobegin to rise, right?
And then you're like, wow, likethis is bad.
And, you know, and you'll startremembering things.
(22:10):
So I really, I mean, I can'temphasize that enough because I
did go through a phase where Iwas like, oh, and I want to get
this certificate, and I want toget that certificate, and I want
to learn this, and I want tolearn that, and I want to learn
this, and I want to read thisbook and that.
And I was reading so much thatnothing was really being
retained.
SPEAKER_03 (22:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:28):
And then I was like, why is nothing working?
Why, you know, it's just likeI've learned all this stuff and
nothing's working.
And I found that like I wasmoving so fast to the next thing
that I wasn't able to integrateany of it.
SPEAKER_03 (22:41):
Yeah.
And I I think that's so true,Gab.
I think it it really is likethese things take time.
And I think in a world where wewant instant gratification,
right?
And we want the result reallyquickly, which I do think for
some people, results can comefaster maybe than others,
depending on how much baggageyou're kind of holding and how
(23:02):
many issues you have.
But like you said, I think it'sover time where you things
become revealed to you, whereover it takes constant practice.
It takes constant showing up.
It takes that's why you have thepractices because you're not
gonna get the complete fucking10-step, you know, 10-step
follow the journey.
(23:23):
You're gonna get a little piecehere and you're gonna get a
little bit of information there,and you're gonna keep walking
the path one step at a time.
And I think the compassion piececreates enough safety, and I
think we all need safety inorder to make lasting change.
I'm interrupting this episodefor something really exciting
because I'm officially openingthe applications for the
(23:46):
abundance activation retreat inGreece.
And honestly, this is gonna besuch a fucking vibe.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited about the womenwho are already joining.
Uh, so if you are a soul who hasbeen craving expansion,
softness, adventure, sisterhood,healing, abundance, and a deeper
(24:09):
connection to your feminineenergy, this is your sign to
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This is a seven-day yoga,Pilates, feminine embodiment
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tired of holding her entire lifetogether through stress,
pressure, overthinking, andsurvival mode, and is ready to
(24:32):
step into a completely differentenergy.
Because abundance isn'tsomething you hustle for, it's
something you open yourself upto receive.
We'll move our bodiesoverlooking the sea, regulate
our nervous system, dance underthe stars, and have bougie boat
days, deep conversations,incredible freaking Greek food,
(24:56):
beach clubs, sunsets, healing,laughter, and the kind of
experiences that generallychange you forever.
Because sometimes you don't needanother tool, technique, or
strategy.
You need a new environment, youneed a moment to pause, a new
frequency, a new energy to helpremind you of who you really
(25:20):
are.
After my first time in Greece,everything really shifted for
me, not just externally, butinternally.
I trusted myself more, I trustedthe universe more, I stopped
forcing life so hard.
I felt supported, guided, anddeeply connected to creation,
possibility, and magic.
(25:43):
And that's exactly the energy,the vibe of this retreat.
So you've been waiting for asign to stop playing small, to
start going after what you trulywant, to start saying yes to
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You can apply or reach out to mevia Instagram for more
information.
(26:03):
I seriously cannot wait for thisexperience and to experience
this magic with you.
And so when I think when we'renot feeling safe, right, to sit
with the stuff, to go intowhat's painful, then we do have
all of the I need to be perfector I'm gonna over become over
(26:24):
busy or do all of that becauseit we don't feel safe enough to
go into the stuff that's hard.
We don't feel safe enough to sitwith the things that are
painful, we don't feel safeenough to admit some of the
truths that we need to takeresponsibility for.
But the reality is, is the morewe actually accept those truths,
(26:44):
forgive ourselves, accept,forgive, and love ourselves
despite them, the more youactually go through it, not
around it, not over here, nottry to avoid it, not fuck,
sleep, drink, drug, spend ourway out of it, the more you
actually just go through it,accept it, forgive yourself,
(27:07):
forgive others, love yourself,love that piece of you who was
just trying to get through atthe time, the more you're gonna
go through that process muchfaster.
The more that transformation isgonna become quicker.
And we do all the things toavoid it.
And obviously, like the shadowpart, the pain part isn't the
sexy part.
The afterwards is the sexy part,right?
(27:29):
After you go through thetransformation, that is the sexy
part.
But in the midst of it, it isn'talways sexy.
And I think when you're in themidst of it, you feel kind of
weak for for, and that I thinkthat weakness is what keeps us
from going into the pain, fromgoing into the shadow, from
(27:49):
actually seeing those parts ofself, admitting some of those
things.
It's like we don't want to admitwhere we feel weak, where we
feel vulnerable.
And it's understandable.
We've been taught like all ofthe things about what success is
and what being a human is, butalso becoming a wholer human and
a freer human, you can't avoid,I think, some of this work.
(28:13):
And I truly believe that like ifyou're trying to live a bigger
life and live a life from heartcenter and from soul, you have
to do work on yourself.
Because when you do, all of theother dreams become much more
easier and accessible becauseyou have a mind and a nervous
system that can become inalignment with the things that
you actually say that you want.
(28:35):
And so when we think ofmanifestation or again, a bigger
life, it's like we can say wewant that from the prefrontal
cortex of our mind.
But if our habits, ourbehaviors, our beliefs, our
thoughts are not in alignmentwith the things that we say that
we want, there's no way we'regonna be able to behave as that
person who just naturally hasthem in order to become them.
(28:57):
And so it's like you're tryingto skip all these steps, but you
have to do the work on yourselfin order to get there.
And again, I think some people,everyone's on a different
journey and it's gonna look alittle bit different.
But I don't know about you, Gab,but like I would not be able to
hold or you would not be in thislife right now without having
done some of the work already tobe able to take the steps and
(29:19):
make the steps and not be pulledback into the people pleasing
and that I'm just gonna do whateveryone else wants me to do.
The inner work is what gets youto be able to have the behaviors
of the version of yourself whohas everything that you want.
SPEAKER_01 (29:34):
Yeah.
And I think I just think there'sno way around it.
At one point or another, you aregoing to have to deal with this.
So why not have control over it?
Why not you take the wheelsrather than get to a place where
you are it gets to a because itcan get to a place where you are
like it completely debilitatesyou, right?
(29:57):
I don't know.
I just truly believe like thatthis is why there's so much
anxiety.
This is why there's so muchdepression in this world,
because we really don't teachthis what in areas that we need
to be teaching these things, youknow.
That again, I'll say it, I'vesaid it so many times, that I
think these things need to betaught in school to elementary
(30:19):
age kids so that they can growknowing and practicing these
techniques, these modalities,these somatics to help them cope
when they're in a in a reallyscary situation or they find
themselves kind of uh well, it'slike your mental and emotional
health, like right.
SPEAKER_03 (30:38):
It's like we don't, I don't really I think there's a
reason, not to be a conspiracytheory, why we don't teach real
health, or right?
I know that too.
You know, why do we feed kids inschools like shit?
You know what I mean?
Like there's a design, yeah.
Yeah, I think design.
There's a reason why.
But it's like these parts are apart we we think of like toning
(30:59):
our body, right?
Because we like the results.
And I I think you can do both,right?
I think you can want to lookgood and also be a healthy
human.
But we also need to tone likeour mind and our emotions.
Like that's also a part of yourhealth.
And like you said, Gab, therecomes a point where you can no
longer ignore it, right?
(31:19):
Because when we think of why wekeep attracting the same type of
partner, why we keep um goingand getting the same type same
amount of money.
We never like up-level to adifferent, a different bracket.
We have the same type of fears.
We have we find ourselves in thesame situations, right?
We're in the same patterns overand over and over again.
We self-sabotage when somethinggood happens.
(31:42):
You know, there's a reason whyyou're doing that.
And you can either look into it,right, and do some internal
work, or you can stay inwhatever loop that you're in.
But, you know, it also keeps youreally small.
It also keeps you stuck, it alsokeeps you stagnant.
(32:02):
And I don't think unhappy.
I mean, you are not that is likethus the depression, thus the
anxiety, thus the thus all ofthat, because you are unhappy.
SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
What I'm trying to get across to this world is like
if you just work on your mentalhealth, on your emotional
health, your physical healthright, will follow.
Right.
The work is inside out, right?
Your physical, the reason youare sick, the reason you have
disease, the reason I mean, whyis it that the United States is
(32:35):
like the one country wherecancer rates are like through
the roof?
If you know, I've spoken topeople in Europe, I've spoken to
people in India.
India is one of the count, likethe it's a third world world
country, you know, like there,they should have lots of cancer.
No, like their cancer rates areso small compared to ours
(32:57):
because the health crisis thatis in the United States is nuts.
unknown (33:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (33:01):
If something you notice, like as soon as you get
off of the plane from Europe,there's no obese people.
There, there's no unlike no onelooks like they want to fucking
that they hate their lives,right?
You get off the plane from Yorkback into the United States, and
every single time, the firstthing I notice is everyone looks
unhappy and unhealthy.
(33:24):
That is not the same.
So it's kind of like we'reliving in this matrix, right?
Of in this consciousness, inthis energy that's so fucking
thick of like everyone'sstressed, everyone's burnt out,
we have to do things by the theorder.
And I think a lot of it has todo with everyone living in fear,
(33:46):
survival mode, and that the likeyou said, these methods are not
taught in order to be healthyand happy.
And I, it's then again, once youget older and you're I don't
want to hate my life, and I wantto be a happy, healthy human,
and I want to be able to raise afamily in that kind of
environment, right?
(34:07):
It's like this work becomes somuch more in your face.
And it's hard because I I it'slike the the science.
I I really like this moment intime because I feel like we're
really connecting theneuroscience and the
spirituality right now thatgives people more awareness that
this stuff isn't just, oh, thisis just like a hippie woo-woo
thing.
No, no, no.
SPEAKER_01 (34:27):
Your energy is a real fucking thing, and you can
either, you know, decide notjust our energy, like everything
is energy.
You know, I was watching a videoyesterday of this girl, she's
from Mexico, and she walksaround like all like the Amazon
and like she goes on hikes tolike Machu Picchu and like all
these places, and she has thislittle thing that she puts on
(34:51):
the trees, on the plants, andshe's like, let's listen to the
energy of the strawberries,let's listen to the frequency of
the trees, of the music, likethe music that it plays, you
know?
And it is just so amazing to seehow diverse it is, just how we
are, right?
Our energies are so diverse, butthey are all energy, like all of
(35:11):
these things are have energy.
And that just blows my mind.
Because again, these are notthings that we are told in
school.
The plants have energy.
You connect them, they'll playmusic, like their frequency,
their vibration.
No, we don't, we're not taughtthis.
So it just blows my mind howthere's so much still out there
that we have to learn.
(35:32):
Yeah, you know, but we but weget satisfied with the bare
minimum because that's just whatwe're taught, right?
That's just what we're taught.
We're taught to just survive.
That's it.
SPEAKER_03 (35:46):
And not to thrive.
SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Right.
And I believe you're just yeah,what we are here to say is that
we are here to thrive.
SPEAKER_03 (35:54):
And to me, thriving means abundance.
Thriving is abundance, you know,we're not here just to survive.
SPEAKER_01 (36:02):
Abundance in money, correct abundance in everything,
in health, in happiness, inpeace, in vitality, in energy in
all of these things.
And you can have it all.
You can have it all.
You just have to, you have to dothe work, you know.
And I and I know, I know thework is so, so hard.
(36:23):
You know, there there are therehas been moments when I'm just
like, I don't want to do thisanymore.
I don't want to keep, you know,digging deep.
I don't want to keep becauseit's it is, it's never ending.
It's never ending.
But those moments that you getthat you are just like, like I
said, like those moments that Isaw, the plants and the the
music, and I'm just like,present.
(36:45):
Whoa, or today the sunrise, youknow, the sunrise that I saw
today.
And I mean, I was sitting therewaiting for the sun, supposedly
it was gonna rise at 556.
And I was sitting there and itwas like 6.05, and I was like,
okay, did I miss it?
Where did it go?
Did it want to go the other way?
Like, where is it, you know?
(37:07):
And I sat there for I think 10more minutes.
And I saw it, you know, I saw itpop up.
And I was like, you know, I Ipopped up and I got so excited
and I was like, oh, I see it, Isee it, you know.
I even got emotional and I justthought, like, after driving
back from there, I thought, andthen it's over.
(37:27):
And then it's over.
But it's those moments that wethrive for, right?
It's those moments that we arethat I realize that I'm
thriving.
If I can get excited over asunrise or a sunset or a full
moon and just really like soakin the beauty of it, in like
(37:48):
what it represents, that's whatI'm excited about, is the
representation of the divinemasculine of the sun.
And if and like what itrepresents to me is if the sun
can rise every fucking day,doesn't matter if it's storming
outside, doesn't matter ifthere's an earthquake outside,
doesn't matter if there is a waroutside, if the sun can rise
(38:12):
every day, so can we, right?
If the sun can rise and bebright and big and beautiful and
provide warmth to all of us, youknow, give us the love, the
warmth.
Why can't we do the same, evenin our darkest moment, you know?
We can.
We just have to choose to.
(38:33):
Yeah.
We just have to choose to dothat, you know?
And the magic really does livein the shadow work.
It really does.
I always say the magic lives inthe in-betweens.
And the in-betweens to me is thereally hard shit from the really
great moments.
The magic lives right in themiddle.
(38:54):
That's where the that's wherethe the answers are.
You can't get there any otherway.
You gotta get through it.
SPEAKER_03 (39:00):
Yeah.
Because I essentially we createfrom who we believe we are,
right?
And that it consists of ouridentity, who we believe
ourselves to be, you know, ourthoughts, our emotions, our
behaviors, our results, ourevidence, you know, healing, I
just think changes everythingbecause your self-concept begins
(39:22):
to change.
And I think we think of when wehave this, like when I have
money, I'll do X and then I'llbe Y, right?
But really it becomes you haveto be first, then you do because
you're being it, right?
Then you're doing it, then youhave it.
And I think we have itbackwards.
(39:43):
So like it's not like, oh, whenI have money, I'm gonna do this.
When I lose weight, I'm gonna dothis.
No, you need to start being theperson you want to be now.
And then, I mean, then you'regonna have what you want to
have.
And that's how it works, right?
You attract from who you'rebeing.
So we put everything I think onhold it for this moment that's
(40:06):
never gonna fucking come.
So to me, like you saying, youknow, I get excited about the
fucking sunset and the sunriseand the moon and this and that,
is that the version of yourselfyou're creating and you're
identifying with as like biggerthan just like ego self of
Gabby, right?
(40:27):
It's like your soul is beingmirrored to you in those pres,
those moments of presence.
And so that energy, right, thatyou are co-creating, you're in
co-regulation with, you're incoherence with, is like that's
the reality of who I am.
That's the abundance of who Iam.
I'm noticing my abundance, I'mnoticing the abundance of nature
(40:51):
because that abundance liveswithin me.
That moment lives within me.
To me, that helps shift yourfrequency, shifts your brainwave
state into more of a higherstate where you're more aware of
the magic and miracles becauseyou are it.
SPEAKER_01 (41:08):
And because the reality is we are all one.
We are all like we are no lessthan that.
You know, we are big cosmicbeings for crying out loud, you
know?
But we've been programmed tobelieve that we're not, that we
need to shrink ourselves, right?
We need to constantly beshrinking ourselves to meet
other people's satisfactions orcomfort zones or whatever it is,
(41:32):
you know, to fit in, to fit in,right?
Because if I'm too big, if I'mtoo loud, if I'm too pretty, if
I'm too, you know, I shine toobright, if I'm yeah, they're not
gonna like me.
So let me dim my light, let medim myself.
Does the fucking dump sun dimitself?
No, she doesn't.
Does the moon?
(41:53):
No, she doesn't.
She comes out big sometimesbright, sometimes big, bold,
sometimes she's only like she'ssmall, sometimes, but she still
comes out and shines.
It doesn't matter.
Like our that's what I think wewe really miss in this world is
like we are not this body.
We are we should shine bright,like our soul, right?
(42:17):
That is who we are.
Yeah, it doesn't matter whatwe're wearing, it doesn't matter
if our makeup is done, itdoesn't matter what our hair
looks like.
Right.
Your energy is your greatestoutfit.
Right, right.
Like we've said before, sexy isan energy, you know.
Sexy is an energy, is who weare, how we are magnetic, how
people like being around us.
(42:38):
That is or just that is right,or don't, because we make them
uncomfortable, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (42:43):
Because it's it, but again, like that you are like
you're talking about with thewoman who uh was putting the
I've seen that it's like soundwave, right?
So you put this little machineon the plant and you can hear
the frequency, right?
Because it's music.
So just like the plant has afrequency, you have a frequency
because energy is alwaysbuzzing.
(43:04):
So our frequency is what is whatwe're made up of.
It's what we attract in, it'swhat we're able to hold, it's
what we're able to fuckingreceive because you're operating
from a frequency for a certainfrequency.
And then if we think of theconsciousness scale, where
certain emotions have a certainenergy frequency, what that
means is that your frequency ismade up of your emotional state
(43:27):
that you repeatedly live in.
So, what is your emotional statethat you repeatedly live in?
Your beliefs, your expectations,your nervous system, your
habits, your conversations, yourattention, your baseline, your
scarcity.
You know, if you're operatingfrom a very low frequency,
that's what's going to be putout into the world and that's
what your brain is gonna filtercoming back into you and what
(43:49):
you believe is possible andthere for you.
And I don't think like we fullycomprehend that what we're
actually made of and what ourpotential.
Potential is and what are whatwe can expand into and the magic
and the miracles that we are andthat are always surrounding us
because we live in a state offear and scarcity and survival.
(44:12):
Again, I feel like it's so heavyand so apparent in the United
States.
And I don't know, maybe this iswhy I love travel so much,
because it is very different inother places.
Doesn't mean that they don'texperience the same things, but
I do think there is a lighterfrequency and energy, and it's
just very apparent that.
(44:33):
Yeah.
And again, I think again, thatis a lot of the travel.
Yeah, I do.
Because it's the frequency.
It's different.
It's higher.
SPEAKER_01 (44:41):
I mean, that's I'm always trying to run to the
woods.
Can I go to Joshua Tree?
Can I go to Sequoia NationalPark?
Can I go to Antelope Canyon?
Can I go?
Like, I'm always trying to runto these like national parks.
Because nature has a higherfrequency.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I just want to go awayfrom like all of this.
Away from all the like busynessand craziness and horns and
(45:05):
trains and lights.
And no.
Because it's just exhausting.
It's exhausting.
SPEAKER_02 (45:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (45:11):
You know, and it doesn't allow us, it doesn't
allow it's constant work, right?
To live in the city, like it'sconstant work that you have to
be doing on yourself, right?
To regulate your nervous system.
Yeah.
You don't walk around with yournervous system just regulated.
You do.
And then somebody fucking cutsyou off and you're like, what
the fuck?
Okay.
Okay.
Like breathe.
(45:31):
Yeah, breathe, breathe.
So of course we want to run offto other areas that it's why
you're attracted to it.
SPEAKER_03 (45:38):
I was, Gab, I know you need to go.
I was listening.
There's a new girl I found.
Her podcast is called Em on theBrain, I think.
And she's all she's aneuroscientist.
And so like I really like a lotof her stuff because she's also
a little spiritual.
She was like, you know, I thinkI'm like a dolphin dolphin
mermaid princess from adifferent world.
And I was, I literally had thethought yesterday, the aha
(46:01):
moment of like, I think I'm likefrom like a fairy world because
I fairy for me is is like wings.
Or I like really am likeattracted to wings and like
think of wings.
My mom used to make these littlefairies for me and hang them
like in my bedroom at night.
And I was like, I and so whenyou talk about the woods, I feel
like you might have a little bitof like that fairy type of You
(46:24):
know what?
SPEAKER_01 (46:25):
I'm always I read um what is it called?
The people that supposedly livein the mountain of Shasta.
There's because Shasta, youknow, is like Shasta Mountain is
like the biggest energy vortexthere.
And they're like Is it the US?
Yeah.
It's by going towards Oregon.
(46:45):
Okay.
There's people that supposedlylike a whole little city inside
the mountain that live in thesupposedly the Shasta Mountain.
I forget what it's called.
Okay.
And when I saw that, I was like,maybe I'm from there.
(47:06):
I'm trying to see what it isthat they're called.
Because I saw that and they werelike anyways, I don't know.
I'm not gonna be able to pull itup right now, probab probably.
But uh yeah, they're likethey're like made of like
stardust and they just like livethere in in the mountains, and I
(47:27):
could totally live in themountains.
SPEAKER_03 (47:31):
But I feel like you're our soul reincarnates
because it's you're looking forgrowth, right?
So it's like maybe that was apast life that that's what you
were, and now you're sosomething else before I I wanted
to say before so something elseI learned when I was doing
shadow work was like I rememberbeing like, gosh, like why is my
life so hard all the time?
SPEAKER_01 (47:50):
Like, why am I constantly struggling my entire
life, just financially strugglesall the time?
Like even with my parents, myparents financially struggled,
you know.
I've financially struggledconstantly.
And and something that I learnedwas like, because maybe in my
past life I had it all.
I had it all and I didn'tappreciate it.
(48:13):
So this time I had to struggleso that the next time, right, I
will be more like humble.
I'm like in a sense, I had to behumbled, right?
Yeah in order to be able toappreciate having it all.
SPEAKER_03 (48:27):
Yeah.
So oh my gosh, that's amazing,Gav.
So, you know, I just want tolike kind of leave with this of
like, if you're interested inshadow work, right, I would
consider shadow work to bebreath work 100%.
You know, I would considerprobably plant medicine
ceremonies to be shadow work,journaling to be shadow work,
you know, getting things,activities that get you into the
(48:49):
subconscious would be what Iwould consider to be shadow
work, you know, journaling, butinner child work, but I would
consider breath work to be allof those things, to be inner
child work, shadow work.
I really do think breath work isthe thing that kind of pulls out
the shadow.
And, you know, when you're doingmore exposure therapy, breath
work.
(49:09):
Okay, there's activation anddeactivation breath work.
When we're doing moreactivation, we are activating
more of that part of oursubconscious mind where our
emotional limbic brain, right?
Reptilian brain lives.
But though any other kind oftools that you would consider to
be shadow work, Gab?
SPEAKER_01 (49:28):
I think I think breath work is good.
And I yeah, I would say plantmedicine, I would say mushrooms.
Like mushrooms have really forme personally, mushrooms and
breath work have been the thingthat have definitely gotten me
that have been kind of like thecatalyst, you know, for me to
like move a little faster,right?
SPEAKER_00 (49:48):
Yeah, to quantum leap.
Yeah, but I will say that likeyou do have to be ready.
You do have to be ready andopen.
SPEAKER_03 (49:57):
It's a it's you're going into pain and grief, and I
think you want to set yourselfup with a coach and a therapist
and people who can hold you inthat because it's intense,
especially when the world isjust keeps running around you,
right?
And you're not really, you know,you're moving through a dark
night of the soul, essentially,which is heavy.
And so having a support systemwhen you're doing that work is
(50:19):
really important.
So I also just to leave thelistener, you know, with
questions to kind of askyourself if you're interested in
shadow work or things like whatemotional state do I spend most
of my life in?
Okay.
So when we're feeling reallystuck, I think that's a good
question to ask ourselves.
So that way we can start toshift it.
What story do I consistentlytell myself about myself?
(50:40):
Right.
So what's your internaldialogue?
What do you talk?
How do you talk to yourself?
What feels unsafe to receive orwhat makes you feel
uncomfortable?
And what part of me is trying tokeep me small and keep me safe.
Then the last one, which Ireally love is if I truly
believed I was worthy, how wouldI show up differently today?
So I think those are all thingsand some patterns that you can
(51:02):
start to think into when youthink of your sense of self and
what work you can start to do.
And ultimately, I think that'swhere, you know, like coaching
comes into play is that you getto do that work not alone by
yourself and you get someone tohold you in that space because
you will quantum ship fatquantum leap faster when you do
have someone else to hold spacefor you.
But listeners, if you have anyquestions about this, you want
(51:25):
us to talk and dive into onething more specifically, leave
us a comment, shoot us a messageon Instagram and Gab, have a
great Saturday.
We'll talk soon.
Thanks, you too.
And love you, babe, and bye.
Love you.
Bye.
What up, y'all?
We are so thankful and excitedthat you're here.
(51:45):
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(52:05):
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This is raw unfilteredconversations on healing,
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(52:27):
middles that crack you open andchange everything.
New episodes every Wednesday.
Good morning.
Sun rising, grand rising.
Good morning.
Welcome back to a relentlesslyauthentic.
I don't think we've done this ina while, Gab.
Do you want to take a fewbreaths?
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03 (00:36):
Yeah.
It's early for you.
It's a rainy, dreary day here inNorth Carolina.
It's been raining for like aweek straight.
Oh my gosh, it's been 105 here.
Yesterday was 107.
SPEAKER_02 (00:48):
Oh my god.
Very, very hot.
Damn.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:53):
Well, maybe start to close down the eyes, maybe
placing a hand on your heart.
If you're driving, obviously donot close your eyes and stay
safe, but maybe take a few deepbreaths with us.
Option to kind of hook yourthumbs together, creating like a
butterfly's wings with yourhands.
Some bilateral stimulation canbe nice for toning your vagus
(01:17):
nerve.
So you can start to tap right toleft, left to right.
SPEAKER_02 (01:26):
Maybe just bring some awareness to how you're
feeling in this moment.
The thoughts that are passing byyour mind.
SPEAKER_03 (01:50):
Noticing if your breathing is in your chest or in
your belly.
Elongating your spine.
Sitting up a little straighter,a little truer.
(02:10):
Let's take a big breathtogether, co-regulate, inhale
through your big nose, inflateyour belly.
And then exhale out the mouthand let it all go.
This time let's inhale for acount of four, three, two, one,
hold at the top for four, three,two, one, exhale for six, five,
(02:36):
four, three, two, one, inhalefor four, three, two, one, hold
for four, three, two one, exhalefor six, five, four, three, two,
one, one more round.
Inhale for four, three, two one,hold for four, three, two, one,
(03:00):
exhale for six, five, four, two,three, two, and one.
So just sit in some energy, somerelaxation you just cultivated
for yourself.
Feel whatever shifts might havehappened right on the surface,
the tingles on your skin.
SPEAKER_02 (03:25):
The coherence with your heart.
The calmness in your brain.
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
In your mind.
And can we keep this awarenessas we roll into this
conversation?
This presence, this clarity,this calm, this flow.
And hopefully this will serve inthe highest good of all of
(03:54):
everything for the listener andfor you and I, Gab.
Maybe with a smile on your face,find something that you're
really fucking grateful for.
Allow that feeling to expand inyour heart.
Maybe you feel that heart beatagainst your hand.
(04:21):
Allow that bit of gratitude thento emanate all around you into a
feeling of abundance.
Into a feeling of love, of joy,of gratitude, of thanks, for
waking up this morning, forbeing healthy, for being here,
for being able to show up andeven listen to a podcast.
(04:47):
Because to someone else withless, that's a lot.
So if we can train our brain,our mind to realize that we're
already an abundant being, we'llattract more blessings and magic
and miracles into our life.
SPEAKER_02 (05:05):
But we have to train our mind to see it, to know it,
and to feel it.
Thus we get to embody it.
Take an inhale through the nose.
SPEAKER_03 (05:52):
A new uh routine.
SPEAKER_02 (05:55):
Yeah.
Trying to find my way for sure.
SPEAKER_03 (06:00):
Well, um, today's topic, kind of going off of what
we kind of started to talk aboutlast week, in terms of like your
explaining your family and theshadow self and operating more
from fear or operating from pasttrauma or past experiences that
are now being projected ontolike this current experience
(06:21):
that you're having with you andyour family.
And so I think describing ortalking about like what the
shadow self is, I think would behelpful for maybe listeners to
kind of understand what theshadow self is.
I like to think of the shadowself as kind of that part of our
unconscious, like the thingsthat we are not aware of, the
(06:42):
part of yourself that you'vekind of rejected, hidden, or
learned wasn't acceptable.
Thus, we can think of that aslike childhood experience is
unmet needs, emotional wounds,beliefs about yourself that
aren't necessarily true,protective coping mechanisms.
I think it's painful to look ata lot of these.
(07:03):
So we reject it and we avoid itat all fucking costs.
But these things aren'tnecessarily bad or evil or yeah,
they're just adaptive that we'velearned to do to cope and to get
love and to try to moldourselves into a version that is
acceptable, right?
And um to get us the things thatwe essentially we want.
(07:27):
But they're not necessarily, Ithink, well, I think they can be
personality traits until werewire them to be different, to
like go into our subconsciousand to go into our pain and our
past and our trauma and reworkthose shadow parts, accept them
and integrate them in.
Cause I that's essentially whatthey're asking for is to
(07:48):
actually to be loved and we'vedeemed them as wrong or not good
enough, or uh the pieces ofourselves that we have felt to
kind of hide against the world.
And I don't think I do thinkthey can become a part of our
personality, but our personalityalso can change.
So they're actually personalityprotection strategies.
(08:12):
So things that you can think ofin this is like people pleasing,
perfectionism, overworking,control, hyperindependence,
avoidance, procrastination,self-sabotage, anxiety, always
staying busy, needing externalvalidation, difficulty
receiving, fear of being seen.
And so these aren't necessarilyflaws, that they're nervous
(08:33):
system adaptations.
So I also like to think of likeyour nervous system remembers
what your mind forgets, becausethese are all subconscious and
you're not really aware of them.
So, Gab, with that being said,where what do you think of
shadow self?
What do you necessarilycategorize that as?
And what has been a doorway intoyour sh personal sh shadows?
(08:56):
What have you found there?
And do you relate to any ofthose kind of perfectionism,
people pleasing, avoidance,procrastination, self-sabotage,
anxiety?
You know, do you feel like yourshadow self or behaviors come up
or are shown in those traits?
SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
Oh, most certainly.
I mean, I think you named awhole bunch, and I was like,
yep, yep, yep, yep.
I think a big one for me isbusying myself.
Busying myself, disassociationoften, you know.
Um, I think I I think I'm at apoint in my life now where I
it's a bit harder for me todisassociate myself because I
(09:32):
don't have my kids around me.
So I'm kind of forced to likesit.
And because I'm a person thatdoesn't watch TV, like I don't
ever really watch TV at all.
I have a lot of moments whereI'm just sitting with myself.
And uh I find myself thosemoments at times can be scary or
like I'm avoiding it, right?
(09:54):
I'm like, hmm, what else can Ido?
What else can I do?
Right?
What else can I do?
Because I don't want to sit withmyself.
But I think that I've learned touse that almost like as an
invitation, right?
unknown (10:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:06):
An invitation to do the work.
I think shadows self sometimescan show up.
I mean, in order to like helpidentify them, is like anytime
you get jealous, somebody makesyou somebody kind of uh makes
you feel jealous.
Um, that's an invitation for youto look at that and be like, why
am I feeling jealous?
(10:27):
What is it about this personthat makes me envy them or envy
their energy or what is it,right?
Somebody that triggers you,right?
Somebody that comes into yourlife and is triggering you
oftentimes, whatever they aretriggering us in is something
that we probably need to take aharder look at.
But also I think a lot of thingsare learned, like we have a lot
(10:49):
of learned behaviors fromwhether it's society, like for
me, it's a lot of my familydynamics, you know, learned
behaviors and then it's theprogramming, right?
The conditioning that we'vegrown up with, that a lot of
times our shadows lie in therebecause we were told we had to
(11:10):
be this way, but that's not whowe are.
So there's been shadows thathave accumulated over the course
of the last few years that havecaused us, you know, to kind of
morph into this person.
And uh then we've we've learnedto put on performances rather
than live our lives, right?
unknown (11:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
We feel we have to put on these performances in
order for us to go on in life.
So I think there's so manydifferent ways.
I mean, anything that makes youfeel uncomfortable, anything
that, you know, triggers you,anything that scares you, I
would invite you to sit with it,you know, to sit with it because
(11:48):
nine out of ten times it's gonnabe a shadow.
SPEAKER_03 (11:51):
Yeah, I like how you said it's like an invitation.
Because I think a lot of thetime it's a we use it as a
signal, right?
Like as a pulse to run away, butit's actually the opposite.
You actually want to movetowards it and you want to go
into it.
And I like to think of like theshadow selves of the as these
parts of the psyche almost thatwe've exiled, right?
(12:13):
It's like the parts of thepsyche that have been cut off or
like stashed away for furtherprocessing in the subconscious
mind.
And we've kind of like exiledthem off the island.
And I think healing essentiallyis taking those parts of your
shadow self and againintegrating them back in.
So I really like too what yousaid there, Gab, of like being
(12:35):
triggered or being jealous.
Ultimately, I think that's aninvitation that there's a part
of yourself you actually need tolove more, right?
So there's something aboutsomeone else that's triggering
your envy, your jealousy becauseyou feel like you have a lack of
it in your life, right?
So they're bringing out thatfeeling in you because you feel
like you're lacking it yourself,so that you're separate from it.
(12:56):
And that's a lot to uncover andlike dig deep about.
And I know most people maybedon't have all of that
self-awareness in the moment,but these are things that we can
start to grow the capacity tounderstand about ourselves.
And I think ultimately that'sthe healing journey, right?
And it's taking those piecepieces of the shadow self and
(13:18):
doing some work around them,loving them, and then
integrating them back intowholeness, right?
Of like, I felt that wayprobably because I was told at a
certain time, or I had a certainevent in my childhood where I,
you know, I didn't feel thatway, or I got the opposite, or I
learned the opposite, orwhatever.
(13:39):
I think we think of like traumaof having to be like these huge,
really big traumatic events.
And that doesn't necessarilythat it can be, absolutely, but
it's also the parts of us, likewhen we did get as a child, our
needs weren't met, that weweren't seen, that we weren't
validated, that we didn't getthe actual love, care, and needs
(14:01):
met that we needed to.
That is also traumatic for achild.
And those times where we wantedour parent to show up for us, or
yeah, our parent to show up andthey didn't show up for us, or
we didn't get validated, right?
We kind of take that memory,that moment, that story, cut it
(14:23):
off from our psyche.
It gets stored into oursubconscious mind.
Then that a belief and a storygets molded from that experience
of I wasn't good enough, thiswasn't good enough, I'm
unlovable, I'm X, Y, or Z.
And then we start to come andformulate all these different
parts of self.
And I think we probably havelike thousands of different
(14:47):
parts of self that we've kind ofdone this to.
And again, this is survival.
We're not conscious of it.
We're not doing it withmalintent.
It is how our nervous system andbrain have coped in order to
protect ourselves.
And we're ultimately alsodealing with programming, I
think, which is wild gab of likeprehistoric, like man being like
(15:09):
mauled by and being run by, likerunning from a bear, right?
And so a lot of that ways ournervous system hasn't changed
over thousands of years.
And now we associate like payingbills with like anxiety and
being put into that same similarsurvival state.
And these shadow selves arereally kind of like running the
program of your mind in thebackground, and you don't even
(15:32):
really understand that'shappening.
And so, Gab, what on your kindof healing journey?
What what kind of shadow work doyou feel like helped you the
most?
SPEAKER_01 (15:45):
I think that honestly, like I wasn't really
like there were so many.
I don't think Yeah, supplyreally spoke about shadow work
very much.
SPEAKER_03 (15:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:54):
I think I was introduced to that after I
became part of Mystic Flora, orright, I joined that community
where I actually got a shadowwork coach.
And I was like, what is shadowwork?
Like, I don't know what this is.
You know, we were not, we werenot really taught about that.
And I remember sitting down withthem the first time, and I was
(16:15):
like, Well, I'm here becausethis person does this to me,
that person does that, thisperson does this, you know, and
I'm like, and they make me feellike this and they make me feel
like that.
And she was like, Okay, shewrote everything down and she
was like, So everything thesepeople make you feel, I'm gonna
(16:36):
ask you to like go deep.
What do you feel when thisperson does this?
What about that?
Do you feel?
And and I kind of learned,right, through that, because she
didn't tell me anything thatsession.
It was not until the nextsession that she had me do all
this writing and stuff.
And uh, she's like, it kind oflike connects, right?
(16:58):
She's like, when when is thefirst time you remember feeling
jealous?
When is the first time youremember feeling like this
person triggered you?
Right.
And then when I started toreally sit with those feelings
and think about it, like thesewere feelings that I felt way,
way, way, way, way, way beforewhen I was very young, right?
And so we revisited that and waslike, why did I feel this way?
(17:21):
Why didn't kind of I started tounpack it?
SPEAKER_03 (17:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
And then I started to really connect the dots and
be like, oh my gosh, all thosetimes I felt jealous, all those
times I was such a bitch in highschool, you know, to these girls
that I was just really mean to.
It was all because I just didn'tlike myself.
I wasn't happy with who I was,right?
And it was a projection, like Iwanted to be more like them, or
(17:46):
I maybe like their hair orwhatever it was.
And so that's kind of how Ilearned to do shadow work.
And now as an adult doing shadowwork, I'm able, obviously, it
gets easier, right?
You're able to identify likewhen you're out in the street
and you're like, oh, why is youknow, could I catch myself?
I'm like, oh, why is that personlike doing that?
(18:07):
You know, like that's kind ofweird.
And I've kind of taught mydaughter too.
So she's like, why is it weird?
Is it weird just because youwouldn't do it or because like
it would make you uncomfortableto do it, or like you're not
couldn't you're not uh secureenough to like walk around like
that or whatever, you know?
And I'm like, yeah, maybe, youknow.
So we have these conversationswhere I'm like, okay, but yeah,
(18:28):
I think that everybody should doshadow work.
I think everybody should doshadow work.
I think it's not easy to do.
It really isn't.
No, because it does make you putyourself on the spot, you know,
and realize that again, likeWill said, like I've said,
everything that happens to us isour fault at some point.
(18:50):
Like we kind of our actions wewhich we don't notice at times,
kind of can trigger others andwe have to take responsibility
for our own stuff and not walkaround thinking there's
something wrong with the entireworld, right?
SPEAKER_03 (19:06):
Well, that's kind of victim mentality, right?
Like it's not why is thishappening to me?
SPEAKER_01 (19:11):
It's uh this But why are these people victims?
These people are victims becausethey have they're not in a place
where they can have the capacityto be able to identify shadows,
you know.
And so they're it's hard, right?
It's hard to do that.
So it's easier to be like, no,this is your fault and your
fault.
SPEAKER_03 (19:27):
Yeah, because you don't have to take any
responsibility.
SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
Yeah, even though the common denominator is giving
you.
SPEAKER_03 (19:33):
Right.
Right.
And I think most likeself-development or personal
growth is kind of like fixyourself, discipline yourself.
And I do think, or like pushharder, which I do think there
is a time and a place forcertain things, but I also do
think that's one side of likegrowth.
But I also think there is a sideof healing that is realizing
(19:57):
that you have to give yourselfgrace and compassion because
there is this part that's tryingto protect you and trying to
tell you something.
And so it's more, I think,becoming getting in dialogue
with those parts of self insteadof like asking, why am I like
this or like what's wrong withme?
It's kind of like why, like,when did this become necessary
(20:18):
for me to like embody this partof self, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
Or protect this part of self.
It's a coping mechanism, right?
Like this is what we do in orderto continue to live our life is
choose to blame others or notlook at ourselves just because
it's that's a way of us copingthrough life, right?
Yeah.
And what I wanted to say too islike, you're right, Rach.
There's a season for everything.
And I've learned that the hardway.
(20:44):
It's not just learning,learning, learning, learning,
learning, learning, learning.
It's learning and integrating,learning and integrating.
And then also having momentswhere, because I've done this
where like I love the spiritualwoo-woo stuff, but also having
moments where I kind ofcompletely remove myself from
(21:06):
that for a little bit and justhave solidarity, you know, have
solitude and sit with myself andjust really like try to ground
myself and really, really kindof lean on Mama Gaia, you know,
to just sit in the with theearth and live that, right?
And endure that and absorb that,right, and be present.
(21:28):
And it's interesting because alot of this work, what we don't
realize is that even with shadowwork, a lot of the work, a lot
of the answers are very delayed.
So you're not gonna do the work,you're not gonna do breath work,
you're not gonna do EFT, you'renot gonna do hypnosis, you're
not gonna do all these energeticencoding and all this stuff and
(21:49):
have your answers tomorrow,right?
It really takes you integratingthese things and sitting for a
couple weeks in quiet, you know.
With yourself for things tobegin to rise, right?
And then you're like, wow, likethis is bad.
And, you know, and you'll startremembering things.
(22:10):
So I really, I mean, I can'temphasize that enough because I
did go through a phase where Iwas like, oh, and I want to get
this certificate, and I want toget that certificate, and I want
to learn this, and I want tolearn that, and I want to learn
this, and I want to read thisbook and that.
And I was reading so much thatnothing was really being
retained.
SPEAKER_03 (22:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:28):
And then I was like, why is nothing working?
Why, you know, it's just likeI've learned all this stuff and
nothing's working.
And I found that like I wasmoving so fast to the next thing
that I wasn't able to integrateany of it.
SPEAKER_03 (22:41):
Yeah.
And I I think that's so true,Gab.
I think it it really is likethese things take time.
And I think in a world where wewant instant gratification,
right?
And we want the result reallyquickly, which I do think for
some people, results can comefaster maybe than others,
depending on how much baggageyou're kind of holding and how
(23:02):
many issues you have.
But like you said, I think it'sover time where you things
become revealed to you, whereover it takes constant practice.
It takes constant showing up.
It takes that's why you have thepractices because you're not
gonna get the complete fucking10-step, you know, 10-step
follow the journey.
(23:23):
You're gonna get a little piecehere and you're gonna get a
little bit of information there,and you're gonna keep walking
the path one step at a time.
And I think the compassion piececreates enough safety, and I
think we all need safety inorder to make lasting change.
I'm interrupting this episodefor something really exciting
because I'm officially openingthe applications for the
(23:46):
abundance activation retreat inGreece.
And honestly, this is gonna besuch a fucking vibe.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited about the womenwho are already joining.
Uh, so if you are a soul who hasbeen craving expansion,
softness, adventure, sisterhood,healing, abundance, and a deeper
(24:09):
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(24:32):
step into a completely differentenergy.
Because abundance isn'tsomething you hustle for, it's
something you open yourself upto receive.
We'll move our bodiesoverlooking the sea, regulate
our nervous system, dance underthe stars, and have bougie boat
days, deep conversations,incredible freaking Greek food,
(24:56):
beach clubs, sunsets, healing,laughter, and the kind of
experiences that generallychange you forever.
Because sometimes you don't needanother tool, technique, or
strategy.
You need a new environment, youneed a moment to pause, a new
frequency, a new energy to helpremind you of who you really
(25:20):
are.
After my first time in Greece,everything really shifted for
me, not just externally, butinternally.
I trusted myself more, I trustedthe universe more, I stopped
forcing life so hard.
I felt supported, guided, anddeeply connected to creation,
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(25:43):
And that's exactly the energy,the vibe of this retreat.
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(26:03):
I seriously cannot wait for thisexperience and to experience
this magic with you.
And so when I think when we'renot feeling safe, right, to sit
with the stuff, to go intowhat's painful, then we do have
all of the I need to be perfector I'm gonna over become over
(26:24):
busy or do all of that becauseit we don't feel safe enough to
go into the stuff that's hard.
We don't feel safe enough to sitwith the things that are
painful, we don't feel safeenough to admit some of the
truths that we need to takeresponsibility for.
But the reality is, is the morewe actually accept those truths,
(26:44):
forgive ourselves, accept,forgive, and love ourselves
despite them, the more youactually go through it, not
around it, not over here, nottry to avoid it, not fuck,
sleep, drink, drug, spend ourway out of it, the more you
actually just go through it,accept it, forgive yourself,
(27:07):
forgive others, love yourself,love that piece of you who was
just trying to get through atthe time, the more you're gonna
go through that process muchfaster.
The more that transformation isgonna become quicker.
And we do all the things toavoid it.
And obviously, like the shadowpart, the pain part isn't the
sexy part.
The afterwards is the sexy part,right?
(27:29):
After you go through thetransformation, that is the sexy
part.
But in the midst of it, it isn'talways sexy.
And I think when you're in themidst of it, you feel kind of
weak for for, and that I thinkthat weakness is what keeps us
from going into the pain, fromgoing into the shadow, from
(27:49):
actually seeing those parts ofself, admitting some of those
things.
It's like we don't want to admitwhere we feel weak, where we
feel vulnerable.
And it's understandable.
We've been taught like all ofthe things about what success is
and what being a human is, butalso becoming a wholer human and
a freer human, you can't avoid,I think, some of this work.
(28:13):
And I truly believe that like ifyou're trying to live a bigger
life and live a life from heartcenter and from soul, you have
to do work on yourself.
Because when you do, all of theother dreams become much more
easier and accessible becauseyou have a mind and a nervous
system that can become inalignment with the things that
you actually say that you want.
(28:35):
And so when we think ofmanifestation or again, a bigger
life, it's like we can say wewant that from the prefrontal
cortex of our mind.
But if our habits, ourbehaviors, our beliefs, our
thoughts are not in alignmentwith the things that we say that
we want, there's no way we'regonna be able to behave as that
person who just naturally hasthem in order to become them.
(28:57):
And so it's like you're tryingto skip all these steps, but you
have to do the work on yourselfin order to get there.
And again, I think some people,everyone's on a different
journey and it's gonna look alittle bit different.
But I don't know about you, Gab,but like I would not be able to
hold or you would not be in thislife right now without having
done some of the work already tobe able to take the steps and
(29:19):
make the steps and not be pulledback into the people pleasing
and that I'm just gonna do whateveryone else wants me to do.
The inner work is what gets youto be able to have the behaviors
of the version of yourself whohas everything that you want.
SPEAKER_01 (29:34):
Yeah.
And I think I just think there'sno way around it.
At one point or another, you aregoing to have to deal with this.
So why not have control over it?
Why not you take the wheelsrather than get to a place where
you are it gets to a because itcan get to a place where you are
like it completely debilitatesyou, right?
(29:57):
I don't know.
I just truly believe like thatthis is why there's so much
anxiety.
This is why there's so muchdepression in this world,
because we really don't teachthis what in areas that we need
to be teaching these things, youknow.
That again, I'll say it, I'vesaid it so many times, that I
think these things need to betaught in school to elementary
(30:19):
age kids so that they can growknowing and practicing these
techniques, these modalities,these somatics to help them cope
when they're in a in a reallyscary situation or they find
themselves kind of uh well, it'slike your mental and emotional
health, like right.
SPEAKER_03 (30:38):
It's like we don't, I don't really I think there's a
reason, not to be a conspiracytheory, why we don't teach real
health, or right?
I know that too.
You know, why do we feed kids inschools like shit?
You know what I mean?
Like there's a design, yeah.
Yeah, I think design.
There's a reason why.
But it's like these parts are apart we we think of like toning
(30:59):
our body, right?
Because we like the results.
And I I think you can do both,right?
I think you can want to lookgood and also be a healthy
human.
But we also need to tone likeour mind and our emotions.
Like that's also a part of yourhealth.
And like you said, Gab, therecomes a point where you can no
longer ignore it, right?
(31:19):
Because when we think of why wekeep attracting the same type of
partner, why we keep um goingand getting the same type same
amount of money.
We never like up-level to adifferent, a different bracket.
We have the same type of fears.
We have we find ourselves in thesame situations, right?
We're in the same patterns overand over and over again.
We self-sabotage when somethinggood happens.
(31:42):
You know, there's a reason whyyou're doing that.
And you can either look into it,right, and do some internal
work, or you can stay inwhatever loop that you're in.
But, you know, it also keeps youreally small.
It also keeps you stuck, it alsokeeps you stagnant.
(32:02):
And I don't think unhappy.
I mean, you are not that is likethus the depression, thus the
anxiety, thus the thus all ofthat, because you are unhappy.
SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
What I'm trying to get across to this world is like
if you just work on your mentalhealth, on your emotional
health, your physical healthright, will follow.
Right.
The work is inside out, right?
Your physical, the reason youare sick, the reason you have
disease, the reason I mean, whyis it that the United States is
(32:35):
like the one country wherecancer rates are like through
the roof?
If you know, I've spoken topeople in Europe, I've spoken to
people in India.
India is one of the count, likethe it's a third world world
country, you know, like there,they should have lots of cancer.
No, like their cancer rates areso small compared to ours
(32:57):
because the health crisis thatis in the United States is nuts.
unknown (33:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (33:01):
If something you notice, like as soon as you get
off of the plane from Europe,there's no obese people.
There, there's no unlike no onelooks like they want to fucking
that they hate their lives,right?
You get off the plane from Yorkback into the United States, and
every single time, the firstthing I notice is everyone looks
unhappy and unhealthy.
(33:24):
That is not the same.
So it's kind of like we'reliving in this matrix, right?
Of in this consciousness, inthis energy that's so fucking
thick of like everyone'sstressed, everyone's burnt out,
we have to do things by the theorder.
And I think a lot of it has todo with everyone living in fear,
(33:46):
survival mode, and that the likeyou said, these methods are not
taught in order to be healthyand happy.
And I, it's then again, once youget older and you're I don't
want to hate my life, and I wantto be a happy, healthy human,
and I want to be able to raise afamily in that kind of
environment, right?
(34:07):
It's like this work becomes somuch more in your face.
And it's hard because I I it'slike the the science.
I I really like this moment intime because I feel like we're
really connecting theneuroscience and the
spirituality right now thatgives people more awareness that
this stuff isn't just, oh, thisis just like a hippie woo-woo
thing.
No, no, no.
SPEAKER_01 (34:27):
Your energy is a real fucking thing, and you can
either, you know, decide notjust our energy, like everything
is energy.
You know, I was watching a videoyesterday of this girl, she's
from Mexico, and she walksaround like all like the Amazon
and like she goes on hikes tolike Machu Picchu and like all
these places, and she has thislittle thing that she puts on
(34:51):
the trees, on the plants, andshe's like, let's listen to the
energy of the strawberries,let's listen to the frequency of
the trees, of the music, likethe music that it plays, you
know?
And it is just so amazing to seehow diverse it is, just how we
are, right?
Our energies are so diverse, butthey are all energy, like all of
(35:11):
these things are have energy.
And that just blows my mind.
Because again, these are notthings that we are told in
school.
The plants have energy.
You connect them, they'll playmusic, like their frequency,
their vibration.
No, we don't, we're not taughtthis.
So it just blows my mind howthere's so much still out there
that we have to learn.
(35:32):
Yeah, you know, but we but weget satisfied with the bare
minimum because that's just whatwe're taught, right?
That's just what we're taught.
We're taught to just survive.
That's it.
SPEAKER_03 (35:46):
And not to thrive.
SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Right.
And I believe you're just yeah,what we are here to say is that
we are here to thrive.
SPEAKER_03 (35:54):
And to me, thriving means abundance.
Thriving is abundance, you know,we're not here just to survive.
SPEAKER_01 (36:02):
Abundance in money, correct abundance in everything,
in health, in happiness, inpeace, in vitality, in energy in
all of these things.
And you can have it all.
You can have it all.
You just have to, you have to dothe work, you know.
And I and I know, I know thework is so, so hard.
(36:23):
You know, there there are therehas been moments when I'm just
like, I don't want to do thisanymore.
I don't want to keep, you know,digging deep.
I don't want to keep becauseit's it is, it's never ending.
It's never ending.
But those moments that you getthat you are just like, like I
said, like those moments that Isaw, the plants and the the
music, and I'm just like,present.
(36:45):
Whoa, or today the sunrise, youknow, the sunrise that I saw
today.
And I mean, I was sitting therewaiting for the sun, supposedly
it was gonna rise at 556.
And I was sitting there and itwas like 6.05, and I was like,
okay, did I miss it?
Where did it go?
Did it want to go the other way?
Like, where is it, you know?
(37:07):
And I sat there for I think 10more minutes.
And I saw it, you know, I saw itpop up.
And I was like, you know, I Ipopped up and I got so excited
and I was like, oh, I see it, Isee it, you know.
I even got emotional and I justthought, like, after driving
back from there, I thought, andthen it's over.
(37:27):
And then it's over.
But it's those moments that wethrive for, right?
It's those moments that we arethat I realize that I'm
thriving.
If I can get excited over asunrise or a sunset or a full
moon and just really like soakin the beauty of it, in like
(37:48):
what it represents, that's whatI'm excited about, is the
representation of the divinemasculine of the sun.
And if and like what itrepresents to me is if the sun
can rise every fucking day,doesn't matter if it's storming
outside, doesn't matter ifthere's an earthquake outside,
doesn't matter if there is a waroutside, if the sun can rise
(38:12):
every day, so can we, right?
If the sun can rise and bebright and big and beautiful and
provide warmth to all of us, youknow, give us the love, the
warmth.
Why can't we do the same, evenin our darkest moment, you know?
We can.
We just have to choose to.
(38:33):
Yeah.
We just have to choose to dothat, you know?
And the magic really does livein the shadow work.
It really does.
I always say the magic lives inthe in-betweens.
And the in-betweens to me is thereally hard shit from the really
great moments.
The magic lives right in themiddle.
(38:54):
That's where the that's wherethe the answers are.
You can't get there any otherway.
You gotta get through it.
SPEAKER_03 (39:00):
Yeah.
Because I essentially we createfrom who we believe we are,
right?
And that it consists of ouridentity, who we believe
ourselves to be, you know, ourthoughts, our emotions, our
behaviors, our results, ourevidence, you know, healing, I
just think changes everythingbecause your self-concept begins
(39:22):
to change.
And I think we think of when wehave this, like when I have
money, I'll do X and then I'llbe Y, right?
But really it becomes you haveto be first, then you do because
you're being it, right?
Then you're doing it, then youhave it.
And I think we have itbackwards.
(39:43):
So like it's not like, oh, whenI have money, I'm gonna do this.
When I lose weight, I'm gonna dothis.
No, you need to start being theperson you want to be now.
And then, I mean, then you'regonna have what you want to
have.
And that's how it works, right?
You attract from who you'rebeing.
So we put everything I think onhold it for this moment that's
(40:06):
never gonna fucking come.
So to me, like you saying, youknow, I get excited about the
fucking sunset and the sunriseand the moon and this and that,
is that the version of yourselfyou're creating and you're
identifying with as like biggerthan just like ego self of
Gabby, right?
(40:27):
It's like your soul is beingmirrored to you in those pres,
those moments of presence.
And so that energy, right, thatyou are co-creating, you're in
co-regulation with, you're incoherence with, is like that's
the reality of who I am.
That's the abundance of who Iam.
I'm noticing my abundance, I'mnoticing the abundance of nature
(40:51):
because that abundance liveswithin me.
That moment lives within me.
To me, that helps shift yourfrequency, shifts your brainwave
state into more of a higherstate where you're more aware of
the magic and miracles becauseyou are it.
SPEAKER_01 (41:08):
And because the reality is we are all one.
We are all like we are no lessthan that.
You know, we are big cosmicbeings for crying out loud, you
know?
But we've been programmed tobelieve that we're not, that we
need to shrink ourselves, right?
We need to constantly beshrinking ourselves to meet
other people's satisfactions orcomfort zones or whatever it is,
(41:32):
you know, to fit in, to fit in,right?
Because if I'm too big, if I'mtoo loud, if I'm too pretty, if
I'm too, you know, I shine toobright, if I'm yeah, they're not
gonna like me.
So let me dim my light, let medim myself.
Does the fucking dump sun dimitself?
No, she doesn't.
Does the moon?
(41:53):
No, she doesn't.
She comes out big sometimesbright, sometimes big, bold,
sometimes she's only like she'ssmall, sometimes, but she still
comes out and shines.
It doesn't matter.
Like our that's what I think wewe really miss in this world is
like we are not this body.
We are we should shine bright,like our soul, right?
(42:17):
That is who we are.
Yeah, it doesn't matter whatwe're wearing, it doesn't matter
if our makeup is done, itdoesn't matter what our hair
looks like.
Right.
Your energy is your greatestoutfit.
Right, right.
Like we've said before, sexy isan energy, you know.
Sexy is an energy, is who weare, how we are magnetic, how
people like being around us.
(42:38):
That is or just that is right,or don't, because we make them
uncomfortable, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (42:43):
Because it's it, but again, like that you are like
you're talking about with thewoman who uh was putting the
I've seen that it's like soundwave, right?
So you put this little machineon the plant and you can hear
the frequency, right?
Because it's music.
So just like the plant has afrequency, you have a frequency
because energy is alwaysbuzzing.
(43:04):
So our frequency is what is whatwe're made up of.
It's what we attract in, it'swhat we're able to hold, it's
what we're able to fuckingreceive because you're operating
from a frequency for a certainfrequency.
And then if we think of theconsciousness scale, where
certain emotions have a certainenergy frequency, what that
means is that your frequency ismade up of your emotional state
(43:27):
that you repeatedly live in.
So, what is your emotional statethat you repeatedly live in?
Your beliefs, your expectations,your nervous system, your
habits, your conversations, yourattention, your baseline, your
scarcity.
You know, if you're operatingfrom a very low frequency,
that's what's going to be putout into the world and that's
what your brain is gonna filtercoming back into you and what
(43:49):
you believe is possible andthere for you.
And I don't think like we fullycomprehend that what we're
actually made of and what ourpotential.
Potential is and what are whatwe can expand into and the magic
and the miracles that we are andthat are always surrounding us
because we live in a state offear and scarcity and survival.
(44:12):
Again, I feel like it's so heavyand so apparent in the United
States.
And I don't know, maybe this iswhy I love travel so much,
because it is very different inother places.
Doesn't mean that they don'texperience the same things, but
I do think there is a lighterfrequency and energy, and it's
just very apparent that.
(44:33):
Yeah.
And again, I think again, thatis a lot of the travel.
Yeah, I do.
Because it's the frequency.
It's different.
It's higher.
SPEAKER_01 (44:41):
I mean, that's I'm always trying to run to the
woods.
Can I go to Joshua Tree?
Can I go to Sequoia NationalPark?
Can I go to Antelope Canyon?
Can I go?
Like, I'm always trying to runto these like national parks.
Because nature has a higherfrequency.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I just want to go awayfrom like all of this.
Away from all the like busynessand craziness and horns and
(45:05):
trains and lights.
And no.
Because it's just exhausting.
It's exhausting.
SPEAKER_02 (45:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (45:11):
You know, and it doesn't allow us, it doesn't
allow it's constant work, right?
To live in the city, like it'sconstant work that you have to
be doing on yourself, right?
To regulate your nervous system.
Yeah.
You don't walk around with yournervous system just regulated.
You do.
And then somebody fucking cutsyou off and you're like, what
the fuck?
Okay.
Okay.
Like breathe.
(45:31):
Yeah, breathe, breathe.
So of course we want to run offto other areas that it's why
you're attracted to it.
SPEAKER_03 (45:38):
I was, Gab, I know you need to go.
I was listening.
There's a new girl I found.
Her podcast is called Em on theBrain, I think.
And she's all she's aneuroscientist.
And so like I really like a lotof her stuff because she's also
a little spiritual.
She was like, you know, I thinkI'm like a dolphin dolphin
mermaid princess from adifferent world.
And I was, I literally had thethought yesterday, the aha
(46:01):
moment of like, I think I'm likefrom like a fairy world because
I fairy for me is is like wings.
Or I like really am likeattracted to wings and like
think of wings.
My mom used to make these littlefairies for me and hang them
like in my bedroom at night.
And I was like, I and so whenyou talk about the woods, I feel
like you might have a little bitof like that fairy type of You
(46:24):
know what?
SPEAKER_01 (46:25):
I'm always I read um what is it called?
The people that supposedly livein the mountain of Shasta.
There's because Shasta, youknow, is like Shasta Mountain is
like the biggest energy vortexthere.
And they're like Is it the US?
Yeah.
It's by going towards Oregon.
(46:45):
Okay.
There's people that supposedlylike a whole little city inside
the mountain that live in thesupposedly the Shasta Mountain.
I forget what it's called.
Okay.
And when I saw that, I was like,maybe I'm from there.
(47:06):
I'm trying to see what it isthat they're called.
Because I saw that and they werelike anyways, I don't know.
I'm not gonna be able to pull itup right now, probab probably.
But uh yeah, they're likethey're like made of like
stardust and they just like livethere in in the mountains, and I
(47:27):
could totally live in themountains.
SPEAKER_03 (47:31):
But I feel like you're our soul reincarnates
because it's you're looking forgrowth, right?
So it's like maybe that was apast life that that's what you
were, and now you're sosomething else before I I wanted
to say before so something elseI learned when I was doing
shadow work was like I rememberbeing like, gosh, like why is my
life so hard all the time?
SPEAKER_01 (47:50):
Like, why am I constantly struggling my entire
life, just financially strugglesall the time?
Like even with my parents, myparents financially struggled,
you know.
I've financially struggledconstantly.
And and something that I learnedwas like, because maybe in my
past life I had it all.
I had it all and I didn'tappreciate it.
(48:13):
So this time I had to struggleso that the next time, right, I
will be more like humble.
I'm like in a sense, I had to behumbled, right?
Yeah in order to be able toappreciate having it all.
SPEAKER_03 (48:27):
Yeah.
So oh my gosh, that's amazing,Gav.
So, you know, I just want tolike kind of leave with this of
like, if you're interested inshadow work, right, I would
consider shadow work to bebreath work 100%.
You know, I would considerprobably plant medicine
ceremonies to be shadow work,journaling to be shadow work,
you know, getting things,activities that get you into the
(48:49):
subconscious would be what Iwould consider to be shadow
work, you know, journaling, butinner child work, but I would
consider breath work to be allof those things, to be inner
child work, shadow work.
I really do think breath work isthe thing that kind of pulls out
the shadow.
And, you know, when you're doingmore exposure therapy, breath
work.
(49:09):
Okay, there's activation anddeactivation breath work.
When we're doing moreactivation, we are activating
more of that part of oursubconscious mind where our
emotional limbic brain, right?
Reptilian brain lives.
But though any other kind oftools that you would consider to
be shadow work, Gab?
SPEAKER_01 (49:28):
I think I think breath work is good.
And I yeah, I would say plantmedicine, I would say mushrooms.
Like mushrooms have really forme personally, mushrooms and
breath work have been the thingthat have definitely gotten me
that have been kind of like thecatalyst, you know, for me to
like move a little faster,right?
SPEAKER_00 (49:48):
Yeah, to quantum leap.
Yeah, but I will say that likeyou do have to be ready.
You do have to be ready andopen.
SPEAKER_03 (49:57):
It's a it's you're going into pain and grief, and I
think you want to set yourselfup with a coach and a therapist
and people who can hold you inthat because it's intense,
especially when the world isjust keeps running around you,
right?
And you're not really, you know,you're moving through a dark
night of the soul, essentially,which is heavy.
And so having a support systemwhen you're doing that work is
(50:19):
really important.
So I also just to leave thelistener, you know, with
questions to kind of askyourself if you're interested in
shadow work or things like whatemotional state do I spend most
of my life in?
Okay.
So when we're feeling reallystuck, I think that's a good
question to ask ourselves.
So that way we can start toshift it.
What story do I consistentlytell myself about myself?
(50:40):
Right.
So what's your internaldialogue?
What do you talk?
How do you talk to yourself?
What feels unsafe to receive orwhat makes you feel
uncomfortable?
And what part of me is trying tokeep me small and keep me safe.
Then the last one, which Ireally love is if I truly
believed I was worthy, how wouldI show up differently today?
So I think those are all thingsand some patterns that you can
(51:02):
start to think into when youthink of your sense of self and
what work you can start to do.
And ultimately, I think that'swhere, you know, like coaching
comes into play is that you getto do that work not alone by
yourself and you get someone tohold you in that space because
you will quantum ship fatquantum leap faster when you do
have someone else to hold spacefor you.
But listeners, if you have anyquestions about this, you want
(51:25):
us to talk and dive into onething more specifically, leave
us a comment, shoot us a messageon Instagram and Gab, have a
great Saturday.
We'll talk soon.
Thanks, you too.
And love you, babe, and bye.
Love you.
Bye.
What up, y'all?
We are so thankful and excitedthat you're here.
(51:45):
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(52:05):
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This is raw unfilteredconversations on healing,
identity shifts, nervous systemregulation, and the messy
(52:27):
middles that crack you open andchange everything.
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