July 22, 2025 • 50 mins
This Evolution will be televised! Hello! My name is Jimmy Gonzalez and I am a Hypnotherapist, Energy Healer, Past Life Regressionist, Sound Healer, Mindset Coach, and a wonderful listener! WHY? Well, because I love people! I love story telling but I really enjoy listening to YOU! Not just about what is wrong with YOU but primarily what is right with YOU! These are the things that make us amazing, and these are the stories we should focus on! I started this show to inspire YOU! To make YOU think and to remind YOU that YOU are pretty BAD ASS! Well, YOU are! I produce, record all of my shows and I hope YOU like my show! If YOU do, please let me know what YOU think! If you don’t like my show! Please let me know! I love criticism!!! It is how I learn to better myself. :) If you do like my podcast I came across this service as a way for people to show their appreciation for my time. It is called Buy me a coffee! It is just as it sounds. If you would like to show thanks by listening to my podcast, I ask that you buy me a COFFEE! The link will take you to a site where you can do just that. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/noemahh Thank you for your support and please share my mission of inspiring you! If you would like to listen to my meditations, please visit: Mind’s Eye Meditations / @mindseyemeditation Subliminal Sessions • Subliminal Sessions Check out my first book! (Kindle version) Paperback is in the works for later this summer. You can download it right it now for under $5!!!! "The Reset Yourself Workbook"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended for mature audiences only.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Listener discretion is advised. Daily Beloved, we all gathered here
today to get through this thing called life. You are
(00:54):
listening to the Reset Yourself, What Need You Podcast with
your host Jimmy Gunthalid. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello. In this
weekly podcast, I focus on sparking your hopefully innerconfidence and
igniting your belief in yourself. I'm your host, and I'm
(01:17):
always very thrilled to share my thoughts and research with
you as we go on this journey together. I believe
that we can nurture a mindset that empowers us to
reach our fullest potential. I write a record every episode
to challenge your thinking, but mine as I write it,
(01:41):
to encourage and to reflect and inspire actionable realistics toward
steps towards our personal growth, whether you're facing a career transition,
seeking to overcome challenges, or simply just striving for greater
fulfillment in life. Hopefully, I do believe that this podcast
(02:03):
has been for many can be your go to resource
for motivation and practical insights. My inspiration to.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Do this.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Show is to teach people to focus more on what
they can accomplish, so that they can do the things
they need to do when they need to do them,
so that ultimately you can get the things you want
when you choose to have them. And this episode is
dedicated to you. Not you, not you, No, not you.
(02:41):
I think you were like last week and I don't
really know you yet. So let's you behind you. Yes,
you tell me what you want and I will show
you how to get it. Really yes, but the question
is are you willing to do the work for it.
Today's episode is about relations. I chose this topic because
(03:08):
I actually spent the last six days with a complete
group of strangers from early morning to late afternoon Constant
and I've always been amazed how you can take a
room full of complete strangers, and it's almost as if
(03:30):
it becomes a science experiment of to how you can
take different cultures, different from different parts of the world,
people that have different beliefs, different opinions. But at some point,
there will come a time during this connection that something
(03:52):
happens and they begin to understand each other, possibly accept
each other. They may not agree with each other, they
may not even like each other, but they begin to
simply maybe, if anything, be okay with each other, with
(04:13):
each other's presence, and as time goes on, even respecting
different opinions, maybe not as their own, but being able
to put aside the differences to their differences, to be
able to just get along during this time together, to
be able to have a better day, to have a
(04:36):
better life. With a few different trips that I've taken,
and his fingers right now, I even thought of Duror.
I was actually a duror on a case for a
little over a week, which that's interesting. But by the end,
(04:58):
I remember like we all went and had lunch down
the street from the courthouse together, and during that time
it became somewhat heated between us as to what each
person saw during the case, and by the end, by
gods became bygones, and we broke bread together for the
(05:21):
greater good of each other. And then there was quite
a few trips that I took on behalf of some
animal groups around the country to assist in some weather
related destruction. Let's say those were very traumatic, became mentally traumatic.
(05:44):
Friendships that I know right now, I can call on
any of them and we can have a long conversation
about life and about anything. Those stick with you. It's like,
you know, people that go into the military together, or
even police officers working together long shifts. After a while
you create such a bond or first responders becomes very special.
(06:13):
But it just fascinates me how something an experience happens
when you put these people together, how magic begins. And
like this, as I said, this room of strangers goes
from a room of strangers to acquaintances, to slowly shifts
(06:37):
to friends. There even becomes a time when there's even
almost like a sort of loyalty amongst each other. You
start like worrying about each other or you know, truly
wishing each other a good evening, and and upon seeing
them the next day, like really being happy to see them.
And this was somebody that you know, forty eight hours
(06:58):
ago you didn't anything about. So this podcast is about
honoring our connection with others and how I feel and
think back throughout my life of everybody that I've met,
and there have been many, even those those relationships that
(07:20):
you know may have just consisted with a simple smile
or a quick conversation at the supermarket or in line
at the bank. Let's say, and now can say that
I'm better for it. Yes, I am better for it.
I am better for knowing you. I mean, there is
(07:41):
a powerful truth often overlooked I feel in our day
to day interactions. Yes, we are made some people are
like Yes, we are made better by every person we've
ever known, from fleeting encounters, as I said, with strangers,
(08:02):
to lifelong connections with loved ones. Each person brings something
to our story to my table. Sometimes it's love, joy, inspiration,
and kindness. Other times it's heartbreak, disappointment, and even betrayal.
I'll get into that. But always, always, there is something
(08:25):
to learn, and in that learning we become better. We
learn more, we grow, we evolve. I wish to explore
this idea that we are better for knowing every single
person that has touched our lives. It's a tribute to
the interconnectedness of human existence as a whole, and a
(08:48):
reminder that our relationships past and present shape us. The
meaning of gratitude we explo or how even the painful
moments carry purpose being grateful for misery and hurt and pain. Yeah,
(09:11):
and how we should actively nurture these all relationships, especially
once I obviously mean most to us, because in the end,
our greatest teachers are not only found in books or classrooms.
They're found in the people we meet. I almost see
it as threads that we connect with, some that becomes strong,
(09:36):
some that become long as although we may walk away
from each other, they're somehow always still connected, even after years.
One phone call and it's as if we never stop talking.
And this also includes the people that have harmed us
hurt us challenged us that we may not feel comfortable
(09:57):
around I mean, because here's the thing. Soon after the
hurt and the healing fades away. May be hard to admit,
but I feel that we have learned something even from
these relationships. Human connection is one of the most profound
elements of our experience. No one is meant to live
(10:21):
in isolation. Every day, in small and large ways, we
are shaped by the people around us. There's an old
saying that goes some people come into our lives for
a reason, a season or a lifetime. Regardless of the duration,
their impact can be lifelong. Think of the teacher who
(10:42):
believed in you and no one else did. The friends
who stayed up with you on the phone when your
heart was broken, the colleague who challenged you and pushed
you to grow. The stranger who smiled at you on
a hard day, the ex lover who bought you the
meaning of vulnerability. Even if the relationship ended in pain,
(11:10):
all of these people have left an imprint in you,
in your heart and your mind. We often underestimate the
ripple effect of others. Even brief encounters can change the
trajectory of your life. It's all connected, an invisible thread
running through your timeline, weaving people into your story at
(11:33):
just the right moment. Ever meet somebody and instantly you
just have this bond, this connection. Someone was like, where
do I know you from? And it's like, you don't,
but there's this connection. And then there's people that you
(11:56):
meet and you didn't even notice them. They could just
walk right by. There's just nothing there. Different types of threads,
different thicknesses between people. But I want to focus on
gratitude for the good, for the good goodness of ourselves.
(12:19):
To be grateful, it reminds us to recognize what's beautiful,
not just when life is easy, but especially especially when
it's not. When when we look back at the best
relationship in our lives, do that come on right now?
Think about it. Those that made us feel alive, those
(12:42):
that made us feel understood, loved. We must remember to
give thanks. How about romantic partners who showed us what
it feels like to be desired, cherished, and truly seen,
Even if they ended tragically those relationships but for a
time there desire, cherished, and seen. Friends who laughed with us,
(13:06):
enjoy and held space for our tears. Family members who sacrifice, protected,
supported and gave us foundation, who stood behind us, who
stood with us. These are the pillars of our emotional lives.
Even when we've outgrown those relationships or circumstances have changed,
the gift of what they offered at that time remains.
(13:28):
By honoring the good, we relive it. Gratitude amplifies memory
in a way that rewrites the emotional experience, not only
for the past, but also especially for the present now.
Of course, you can't have the good without the bad.
And as much as many want to put these bad
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experiences into our mind's eye and throw away the key,
it's still here and we cannot, and we should not
forget those that have harmed us Like what Yes, because
it's still a lesson, maybe difficult, but with time they
(14:11):
may be forgiven. But forgetting is difficult. But we should
still have gratitude for the difficult times. But Jimmy, those
people hurt us. Those people have failed us, they've betrayed us,
they've left us, they've ignored us. Is it possible to
(14:32):
be grateful for them too? In my opinion, of course,
it is, because in many cases, it is these people
who became mirrors. They showed us what we needed to heal.
They revealed the parts of ourselves we hadn't yet owned,
the parts still craving validation, worth, boundaries, and strength. They
(14:55):
brought the lessons that no one else could have taught.
Painful relations often become the greatest catalyst for transformation. They
wake us up, they strip us down, and through that
process we either break or become unbreakable. Resilience is often
(15:17):
forged in the fires of disappointment. But the gift of
those relationships isn't just survival. It's wisdom, clarity, It's a
deeper self understanding. Let me share my thoughts on the
mirror of relationships, all relationship that act as mirrors reflecting
(15:41):
back aspects of our selves. When you're deeply moved by
someone's kindness, it's likely because you value that trait in yourself.
When someone triggers you, it may be a sign of
unresolved pain or a personal insecurity. Through connection, we are
(16:03):
constantly learning who we are. The best relationships are not
always the easiest. They are the ones that challenge us
to be honest, vulnerable, brave, and accountable. This mirror effect
is a gift that enables us to identify our values,
our triggers our growth. Without other people reflecting these aspects
(16:29):
of ourselves, our personal evolution would be much slower. Relationships
accelerate growth. Romantic relationships teachers of the heart. Few connections
are as emotionally charged as romantic relationships. They bring with
them the promise of intimacy, safety, and belonging, but they
(16:54):
also demand vulnerability, communication, compromise, and emotional maturity. Romantic partners
often become valuable. As I said, they they make us
(17:28):
just feel better, make us feel like we're a part
of something. With them, we learn about love languages. We
learn how to deal with conflict, resolutions and forgiveness. We
(17:49):
discover how to stay when things get hard, or to
how to walk away when staying would mean losing ourselves
to field. Relationships are very valuable. They clarify what we
want and don't want. They teach us about compatibility, communication,
(18:09):
and self worth, And when we take time to reflect,
we begin to see how we are better because of
the love we gave and even the love we didn't
to get in return. Surprisingly, I have met many clients
that have shared the stories of their relationships that they've
(18:31):
gotten with You know, they've had with friends, and that
at some point these friends that were originally strangers and
have become closer than those relationships we have with blood relatives.
I ask of you now, is there a friend out there?
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Is there a friend out there that you would say
is closer to you than family, Someone that you can
call upon in times of needs and times of joy,
that you feel is closer to you than any brother, sister,
or parent. It's the family we choose. Friends are the
(19:15):
anchors of our lives. While romantic relationships may wax and wane,
but deep friendships often endure a cross time and distance.
They are the people who witness our unfolding and remain
steady throughout it. Friendships teach us about reciprocity, loyalty, humor, presence,
(19:39):
and patience. They show us how to be there for
others and how to allow ourselves to receive true friends
remind us of who we are when we forget. Even
friendships that end have value. They may have taught us
(20:02):
to set boundaries or to recognize when we were giving
too much. Do you sometimes feel that you give too much?
They may have been seasonal companions for a particular stage
of growth, but their impact for however long, still leaves
a mark. How about family? Think of yours. Some people
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have big families, others small. What has your family brought
to your table? Have they supported you? Have they abandoned you?
Do they believe in you? Are they still a part
of your lives now? Some are still connected forever, deep
(20:49):
like the roots of a huge oak tree that has
been around forever. Others have left deep wounds that never
seem to primarily because we feel that being of the
same blood, they should be held to a higher standard,
be even more supportive and understanding, offering more unconditional love.
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But sometimes there are Some of these are some of
the hardest relationships that we deal with. Family relationships are
among the most complicated and but yet influential. They provide
the first models of love, communication, conflict, and identity. Our parents, siblings,
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and extended families shape our world view before we ever
step out into the wider world. But regardless of experience,
these relationships are foundational. They can show us what kind
of love we want to give or avoid. They may
teach us resilience, compassion, empathy, or self preservation. Being better
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for knowing your family doesn't always mean you can known
everything that may have happened with your family. It means
you choose to learn from them. You extract this wisdom
even if the experience was painful. And this is a
(22:29):
topic that I've brought up on many occasions, that so
many have shared with me how difficult it is, and
how they feel that it is not only impossible, but
they have or should not have to forgive. Now you
may have already rolled your eyes when I speak of
(22:49):
the role of forgiveness, but understand this different perspective. I
have a fight with somebody, a friend that is now
become somewhat of an enemy. A week ago, a year ago,
twenty years ago. Okay, now today I'm having a great day.
(23:09):
I'm having a wonderful life so far, and for some reason,
a memory is painted across my mind. Momentarily like a
polaroid picture beginning to focus, and I see it of
a moment in my past, a connection to this person,
this person that had had hurt me, had betrayed me,
(23:31):
lied to me, cheated on me. And here I stand
now think about this in this present, thinking of that moment,
bringing back all of the emotion, connection of anger, hatreds,
and this heartbreak, all that stuff. Think about that I
(23:52):
am reconnecting with emotions of the past, of a memory
that happened many times years ago. And the person that
did this to me is somewhere else walking this earth,
or for many of you the way you may think,
hopefully not but living their life, moving on, moving forward,
(24:13):
not even thinking of me. So many of us wish
they were, But who cares, well as I far know,
if they have chosen to move forward and start a
new life, forward being the key word. Whereas now here
I am having a good day, forcing myself to stop
(24:36):
and for a moment or two going backwards to a
time that may not have been very pleasant. But understand
that now my body is connected with my mind, So
now I'm creating a sort of trauma in my body.
Feeling sad, feeling let down, feeling cheated, feeling pain for
(25:00):
being hurt, and light to This is what I am
now bringing to my body emotionally in this present moment.
Hopefully when you hear this, you will think to yourself,
why do I bother? Why would I want to cheat
myself out of having a wonderful day now with the
(25:22):
people around me, the good people, the nice people, the
loving people that may and the future be the ones
I hurt us. But I'm cheating them out right now,
the present good people of time, because now I'm going
to talk about a memory that happened twenty years ago
(25:42):
by somebody who hurt me twenty years ago. And sure
these emotions now with this person who we are currently having,
we're having a great day. Now. I'm passing on this
to them, this energy, this memory of something that was
done to me twenty years ago through me. Now I
(26:03):
am sharing misery, heartache, pain. Now that their posture changes,
their facial experience for expressions change, and because we do
have this current union now they even feel bad for
me over something that happened twenty years ago. They may
(26:28):
even get angry, say let's screw this person, let's go
kick their ass. How dare they have hurt you twenty
years ago? I've ruined the moment, ruined the day. These
are the threads that I was kind of talking about
that are connected to others, some good, some bad, Some
(26:49):
are nice and shiny, and others are just covered in misery, hatred, anger, rage,
and just shit. Understand that these people brought lessons to us,
the lessons of life that we were supposed to just
learn and move on. Accept a lesson and do everything
we can to not allow it to happen anymore. But
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by continuing to repeat it without answering what happened, coming
to grips with it, accepting it, finding resolve for what happened,
we're not helping ourselves. We have not learned obviously. And
as I've mentioned, I'm not asking you to forgive and
forget them. I'm asking you to forgive for yourself, whatever
(27:39):
the situation may have been, find it in your heart
and so to move on, to allow yourself to heal,
To allow yourself to heal, To allow yourself to heal,
To stop ripping open old scars and sharing these traumas
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and these miserable moments frozen in time that you keep
thawing out and bringing back to the present that we
continue to carry on our shoulders into our present and
into our future, into our lives. Breakups happen, relationships end.
Everything is temporary. Hopefully you will live a long life
(28:22):
and you will see that these ups and downs will
continue for many, many years ahead of you. Guess what.
The people that you're with now may betray you, They
may hurt you. No way, not the it can happen.
You're a human, just like you. There should be a
(28:43):
point in your life where you get used to it,
you become wiser and you're willing to accept every day
as experiences good, bad and ugly, and that you're able
to move on to the next day, to tomorrow, having
learned what happened in the day prior and accepting it
(29:03):
and now looking forward to tomorrow and allowing yourself wholeheartedly
to enjoy this moment, especially with those around you now laughing,
loving and being happy. But Jimmy, it's hard to forgive. Well,
I never said it wasn't, But understand that forgiveness is
(29:25):
not forgetting or excusing harm. It is the act of
freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. You're the one
who's carrying this. When we carry anger and bitterness towards
people from our past, we keep their influence alive in
our minds and bodies. Letting go doesn't mean reconciliation. It
(29:45):
means choosing peace. When you recognize that everyone is doing
the best they can from their level of awareness, you
begin to soften. You begin to see the humanity and
even those who hurt you, and in doing so, you
return your power to yourself. Forgiveness to me is one
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of the highest forms of gratitude. It says thank you
for the lesson on taking the good, releasing the rest,
and moving forward with more grace. Aren't you worth it? Now?
For those of my listeners that continually think that the
world revolves around them, I'm always fascinated by you. But
(30:34):
for all of you making you happy, being kind and
not being selfish, bringing a lot to your table. But
what about you? What do you bring to other people's table?
Are you compassionate? Maybe it's you that's a complete and
(30:55):
total ass for all you know? Right now you have
friends that I can no longer be your friend? Would Yes? Yes,
there's other people on this planet too. How are you
treating them? Remember it goes both ways. Perhaps the most
important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself,
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and everyone you meet reflects how you see and treat yourself.
The more love, grace, and understanding you give to stop
blaming and start learning, you become more resilient, more open,
more alive, and you begin to realize that being better
for knowing someone means that they were better for knowing
you too. I want to I want to veer off
(31:41):
for a moment and share with you a story of
a friendship, a very close friendship, not mine, but it's
interesting one and it's funny. When I was thinking of friendships,
I for some reason, this group, these two people popped
into my head because I like both of their music
and I had heard rumors. So I did some research
(32:03):
and went through different pages to put this together because
I was I was somewhat right. And it'll show you
the roller coaster of emotions and how it can bring
somebody into your life and then push them away and
then bring them back even closer where you can create
(32:25):
such a bond, and then before you know it, they
are no longer here with you, and then you can't
help but think of time wasted. The many things that
were said that maybe shouldn't have the things that should
have been let go and forgiven and forgotten to be
able to reconnect with just the good times that now
(32:48):
no longer can be had, especially when, as I said,
you've lost them and now you wonder what could have happened,
what should have been said two musicians, Elton John and
(33:09):
George Michael. I always see the video of them together
and I'm like, that's interest because I always heard that
they there was something there. Well, they had a complic
complicated relationship marked by a lot of public I mean,
when you're famous, everybody knows your business. Was kind of
how people want to meddle and figure shit out. But
(33:29):
you know, within their public tension and private struggles, but
they eventually found very deep respect and forgiveness for each other,
especially after George Michael's passing. In the glitzy, an often
brutal world of fame and fortune, where eagles sometimes clash
(33:50):
and headlines the media is exaggerates, Elton John and George
Michael were two huge giants if you did not know of,
you know, British pop music, who had everything in common
except for a time that they just it was not
going well in the eighties and nineties, Elton John was
(34:11):
already a global legend, and George Michael was rising fast
as the lead singer of the band Wham and then
as a solo artist. As you can see if you
follow their careers, both were very flamboyant, bold and deeply
extremely talented. But with that talent comes pressure, scrutiny, and sadly,
(34:36):
a lot of personal demons that neither of them handled
the same way. Elton, who had gone through his own
battles with addiction for many years and fame, was just
very outspoken, especially when it came to people he cared for.
George Michael, intensely private and proud, did not appreciate this
(34:59):
kind of unsolicited attention from Elton John, especially not from
someone who seemed to judge rather than support. Their feud
really began in the nineteen nineties when Elton publicly criticized
(35:20):
George Michael's album which is actually this is one of
my favorite albums. I listened to it. I still listen
to it called Listen Without Prejudice Volume one. It's not
your typical pop stuff that he's put out, and it's
funny because I loved it from like you know, from
song one to the very last one. I've played it
quite often, but Elton went out publicly and said that
(35:40):
he called it an introspective and lacking commercial appeal, which
it does. Then an interview, Elton expressed concern that George
was too isolated and that he felt in a deeply
unhappy place. And of course, at this time, George was
already struggling with his identity and his grief from losing
(36:02):
one of his a partner, and growing public pressure didn't
take kindly to what felt like a personal attack back
at Elton John. He fired back, telling Q magazine that
Elton should shut his mouth and that he didn't seem
like someone who cared. And what ended up happening was
(36:25):
a decade of very cold distance. Publicly, yes they were civil,
Privately there was great resentment, but behind the curtains, something
deeper was going on. Elton John had been through all
of this himself. He knew addiction, he knew shame, and
(36:47):
as the years went on, and as George spiraled into
more public trouble, the arrest of drug use and the
emotional instability, Elton saw not a rival but a reflection
of his own past. Despite their falling out, he never
stopped caring and reaching out. Eventually Elton reached out and
(37:10):
it connected not through press, not through judgment, but with
quiet sincere compassion, he offered help, rehab, a listening ear. George,
though initially resistant, eventually let his guard down and slowly
something shifted. They began talking again, sharing again, healing. In
(37:32):
later interviews, George michae would admit that Elton had shown
him a real relationship, a true friendship. At the time
he didn't see it, but it was there that despite
their past, he had come to understand that Elton's concerns
truly came from love and not arrogance. He said, and
(37:53):
I quote, he really tried to help, and I pushed
him away, But I see now that he wanted me
to be okay. Elton, for his own part, he never
talked about He never boasted about their reconciliation, never even
brought it up to him. It was about them too,
so well, they're friendship. So as you can imagine. When
(38:14):
George Michael passed away un expectedly on Christmas Day twenty sixteen,
that was that long ago. Elton was very devastated. He
paid tribute with tears in his eyes and posted I
have lost a beloved friend, the kindness, most generous soul,
and a brilliant artist. My heart goes out to his family,
(38:34):
friends and all of the many many fans. I will
so miss him. This story reminds should remind us that
even in the deepest rifts, people can heal, people can
let down their defenses and lead with empathy, that time, reflection,
(38:58):
and genuine care cannot can soften even the hardest of grudges.
Fame fame may exaggerate our flaws, but underneath, people are people.
People are people. Hurt, pride, misunderstanding and happens to the
best of us. What matters most is the courage to
reach across the distance, to apologize or accept, and to
(39:21):
realize that sometimes the person you once clash with might
be the very soul who understanded you the most. For
some of you, you may see the relationship between celebrities
as something very different, something on a much higher pedestal
than the relationships that you may have with your spouse
or just your next door neighbor, good friend. Somebody think
(39:43):
that being a celebrity and a celebrity living a celebrity
life is so wonderful because of the endless abundance of
what we see, the car, the money, the houses, and
how they flaunt it all. But they worry just like us,
They stress just like us, they cry just like us,
and they hurt just like us. They feel just like us.
(40:06):
They stress, and many of them go through life. Although
famous to millions, they couldn't feel more alone. If there
is a relationship out there with somebody that you have
thought of at some point of possibly reconnecting with, my
advice is to begin to work towards it. Not just
(40:26):
pick up a phone and do it right now, but
prepare yourself with all that the different things that may
be said, and be ready to answer what level of
understanding are you at now. To truly embrace the idea
that you are better for knowing everyone, you must live
with conscious gratitude. This means reflecting on past relationships with compassion,
(40:52):
not anger, expressing love and appreciation and care frequently, being
honest about your needs and your boundaries, letting go of
relationships that have run their course, with peace, forgiving where
needed for your own growth. You don't need to You
(41:15):
don't have to keep every person in your life, but
you can keep the lesson forever. That is the way forward.
I asked that you turn reflection into action. So that's
why I have these following exercises that I feel will
help you deepen, nurture, and honor your most important relationships.
(41:38):
I hope you can take the time to work on it,
you know, put some effort into it as I for
those of you that follow me, whenever I do exercise
it at the end, I do recommend you do it
with someone else. It keeps you honest, a good person.
Not to me, it's just gonna judge you and put
you down. But uh, there's different things that I think
you can do to help build relationships strengthen relationships. Sponds
(42:01):
the Weekly Checking. The Weekly Checking, set aside thirty minutes
each week to talk with your partner or your closest
friend about the relationship serious ask about what felt good
this week, what didn't? How can we support each other better.
(42:26):
Then you have something called the Love language Exploration. Read
about the five love languages, words, acts, gifts, time, touch.
Identify yours and your partners. What is it that you
love about each other? How you connect and practice giving
(42:47):
to them as much as you wish to give to yourself.
Remember the world doesn't revolve around you. And how about
every so often have an apology and given this ritual practices,
choose a moment when emotions are calm. Each person shares
one thing that they regret and one thing that they
(43:09):
forgive the other four and end with a loving embrace
or gesture of closeness. Nothing you do, especially for those
that are like far away gratitude letters. Write a letter,
a message to someone expressing why you're grateful for them,
Email them, text them, even if they're nearby. Be specific.
(43:34):
Mention moments they showed up for you that you didn't forget.
I never forgot that you did this back in third grade.
The next one is an important one because I think
it's every so often we may find ourselves with friends
that aren't Maybe the friend is actually an acquaintance, and
maybe the acquaintance is actually an enemy. It's called the
(43:57):
friendship audit. Elect on the friends you have, Which relationships
energize you, which deplete you, which bring you down and
break you down. Choose one friendship to nurture and one
to let go of with love. Not telling you to
just get rid of friends, but the people the you
(44:20):
know people that have vampire energy that just suck your
dry every time you see them, that when you see
them coming, you're not happy. I mean, if you want
to just end it right away, that's really up to you.
But my thing is, stop putting so much effort towards
the people that aren't putting the effort towards you, because
(44:41):
there are I assume there are people that are and
those are the relationships that you should build and grow.
And then you should have a monthly weekly connection day
schedule a day where you break bread with someone, actually
(45:02):
have a cup of tea or a cup of coffee,
and you just hey, how's your month been, what's been
going on? Is everything good? Are you doing good? Make
it sacred and consistent. This is our time together, no family,
no kids, whatever, just you and your friend somewhere. You
just talk about life, what's going good, what's going bad?
(45:28):
As for family, again, I will repeat for those of
you that know or don't know, I love history, and
to me, whenever I meet with somebody, I love storytelling.
I've been told that I'm a great person to ask
great questions about life and why and I could get
(45:48):
people talking for hours about themselves because I love listening.
Ask an older family member to share stories from their youth,
or actually anybody, the stranger across the street, you know,
the old man you walk by, the old lady that
you see so often, walk up to her and just
ask her something that will help her rekindle some good memories.
(46:13):
Great way to preserve legacy and to deepen connection. Then,
of course there's healing. Choose a family member with whom
you may have some tension. This isn't about picking a fight.
Maybe before you speak to them, write down what you
(46:34):
need to say and invite a conversation with them. Then
tend to heal, not blame, not restart the fire, just
hear them out and try to You know what I
tend to do is I try to listen from their
ears and try to see it through their body of
what may they have thought, may have happened. I just
(46:59):
think that's a very important thing to do. And one
of the last things is h acts of service. Perform
one unprompted act of kindness for a friend or family
member this week. It could be do a chore for them,
cook them a meal, bring them a gift, or even
(47:22):
a hug. You know those hugs that you give people.
They're just like, what was that for? I don't need
a reason. Just remember that you are the sum of
every encounter you make, and that you are better for it.
The people you've loved, the ones you've lost, the ones
who hurt you have hurt you, and the ones who
(47:45):
heal you. They were all a part of you becoming.
So walk forward with gratitude, keep learning, keep loving, and
keep choosing to be someone who others are also better
for knowing you, Because the truth is, we don't get
to control who we meet, but we do get to
(48:06):
choose how we remember them and how we let them
make us better. I hope I made you think. I
hope I made you question your existence and to appreciate
every tomorrow, every today, and to be grateful for all
the experiences of the past that may have made you
(48:29):
who you are. Right now, keep this in mind. Choose
action over excuse, purpose over comfort, and the work that
matters over the distractions that don't. My name is Jimmy
Gonzalez and this was the Reset Yourself twenty two podcasts.
Go forward and live your life to the fullest. Thank
(48:53):
you so much for listening, liking, subscribing, and hopefully sharing
with others. It means a lot to me, many many
blessings to you all. Be well and prosperbs.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Shall boa that offer everything house and do all they
can to make a difference in our lives and the
lives of others. If you are interested in learning more
about the services that Jimmy offers, visit www dot n
O E M A h h dot com. Jimmy offers
(49:53):
a downloadable ebook and a link to his Mind's Eye
meditation sessions, which are both offered for free. Please do
that are at a gift and for those that like
the do it yourself approach, Jimmy also offers pre recorded
self hypnosis sessions. If you prefer the one on one approach,
feel free to reach out.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
You have been listening to
Speaker 1 (50:11):
The Reset Yourself twenty two podcast
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended for mature audiences only.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Listener discretion is advised. Daily Beloved, we all gathered here
today to get through this thing called life. You are
(00:54):
listening to the Reset Yourself, What Need You Podcast with
your host Jimmy Gunthalid. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello. In this
weekly podcast, I focus on sparking your hopefully innerconfidence and
igniting your belief in yourself. I'm your host, and I'm
(01:17):
always very thrilled to share my thoughts and research with
you as we go on this journey together. I believe
that we can nurture a mindset that empowers us to
reach our fullest potential. I write a record every episode
to challenge your thinking, but mine as I write it,
(01:41):
to encourage and to reflect and inspire actionable realistics toward
steps towards our personal growth, whether you're facing a career transition,
seeking to overcome challenges, or simply just striving for greater
fulfillment in life. Hopefully, I do believe that this podcast
(02:03):
has been for many can be your go to resource
for motivation and practical insights. My inspiration to.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Do this.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Show is to teach people to focus more on what
they can accomplish, so that they can do the things
they need to do when they need to do them,
so that ultimately you can get the things you want
when you choose to have them. And this episode is
dedicated to you. Not you, not you, No, not you.
(02:41):
I think you were like last week and I don't
really know you yet. So let's you behind you. Yes,
you tell me what you want and I will show
you how to get it. Really yes, but the question
is are you willing to do the work for it.
Today's episode is about relations. I chose this topic because
(03:08):
I actually spent the last six days with a complete
group of strangers from early morning to late afternoon Constant
and I've always been amazed how you can take a
room full of complete strangers, and it's almost as if
(03:30):
it becomes a science experiment of to how you can
take different cultures, different from different parts of the world,
people that have different beliefs, different opinions. But at some point,
there will come a time during this connection that something
(03:52):
happens and they begin to understand each other, possibly accept
each other. They may not agree with each other, they
may not even like each other, but they begin to
simply maybe, if anything, be okay with each other, with
(04:13):
each other's presence, and as time goes on, even respecting
different opinions, maybe not as their own, but being able
to put aside the differences to their differences, to be
able to just get along during this time together, to
be able to have a better day, to have a
(04:36):
better life. With a few different trips that I've taken,
and his fingers right now, I even thought of Duror.
I was actually a duror on a case for a
little over a week, which that's interesting. But by the end,
(04:58):
I remember like we all went and had lunch down
the street from the courthouse together, and during that time
it became somewhat heated between us as to what each
person saw during the case, and by the end, by
gods became bygones, and we broke bread together for the
(05:21):
greater good of each other. And then there was quite
a few trips that I took on behalf of some
animal groups around the country to assist in some weather
related destruction. Let's say those were very traumatic, became mentally traumatic.
(05:44):
Friendships that I know right now, I can call on
any of them and we can have a long conversation
about life and about anything. Those stick with you. It's like,
you know, people that go into the military together, or
even police officers working together long shifts. After a while
you create such a bond or first responders becomes very special.
(06:13):
But it just fascinates me how something an experience happens
when you put these people together, how magic begins. And
like this, as I said, this room of strangers goes
from a room of strangers to acquaintances, to slowly shifts
(06:37):
to friends. There even becomes a time when there's even
almost like a sort of loyalty amongst each other. You
start like worrying about each other or you know, truly
wishing each other a good evening, and and upon seeing
them the next day, like really being happy to see them.
And this was somebody that you know, forty eight hours
(06:58):
ago you didn't anything about. So this podcast is about
honoring our connection with others and how I feel and
think back throughout my life of everybody that I've met,
and there have been many, even those those relationships that
(07:20):
you know may have just consisted with a simple smile
or a quick conversation at the supermarket or in line
at the bank. Let's say, and now can say that
I'm better for it. Yes, I am better for it.
I am better for knowing you. I mean, there is
(07:41):
a powerful truth often overlooked I feel in our day
to day interactions. Yes, we are made some people are
like Yes, we are made better by every person we've
ever known, from fleeting encounters, as I said, with strangers,
(08:02):
to lifelong connections with loved ones. Each person brings something
to our story to my table. Sometimes it's love, joy, inspiration,
and kindness. Other times it's heartbreak, disappointment, and even betrayal.
I'll get into that. But always, always, there is something
(08:25):
to learn, and in that learning we become better. We
learn more, we grow, we evolve. I wish to explore
this idea that we are better for knowing every single
person that has touched our lives. It's a tribute to
the interconnectedness of human existence as a whole, and a
(08:48):
reminder that our relationships past and present shape us. The
meaning of gratitude we explo or how even the painful
moments carry purpose being grateful for misery and hurt and pain. Yeah,
(09:11):
and how we should actively nurture these all relationships, especially
once I obviously mean most to us, because in the end,
our greatest teachers are not only found in books or classrooms.
They're found in the people we meet. I almost see
it as threads that we connect with, some that becomes strong,
(09:36):
some that become long as although we may walk away
from each other, they're somehow always still connected, even after years.
One phone call and it's as if we never stop talking.
And this also includes the people that have harmed us
hurt us challenged us that we may not feel comfortable
(09:57):
around I mean, because here's the thing. Soon after the
hurt and the healing fades away. May be hard to admit,
but I feel that we have learned something even from
these relationships. Human connection is one of the most profound
elements of our experience. No one is meant to live
(10:21):
in isolation. Every day, in small and large ways, we
are shaped by the people around us. There's an old
saying that goes some people come into our lives for
a reason, a season or a lifetime. Regardless of the duration,
their impact can be lifelong. Think of the teacher who
(10:42):
believed in you and no one else did. The friends
who stayed up with you on the phone when your
heart was broken, the colleague who challenged you and pushed
you to grow. The stranger who smiled at you on
a hard day, the ex lover who bought you the
meaning of vulnerability. Even if the relationship ended in pain,
(11:10):
all of these people have left an imprint in you,
in your heart and your mind. We often underestimate the
ripple effect of others. Even brief encounters can change the
trajectory of your life. It's all connected, an invisible thread
running through your timeline, weaving people into your story at
(11:33):
just the right moment. Ever meet somebody and instantly you
just have this bond, this connection. Someone was like, where
do I know you from? And it's like, you don't,
but there's this connection. And then there's people that you
(11:56):
meet and you didn't even notice them. They could just
walk right by. There's just nothing there. Different types of threads,
different thicknesses between people. But I want to focus on
gratitude for the good, for the good goodness of ourselves.
(12:19):
To be grateful, it reminds us to recognize what's beautiful,
not just when life is easy, but especially especially when
it's not. When when we look back at the best
relationship in our lives, do that come on right now?
Think about it. Those that made us feel alive, those
(12:42):
that made us feel understood, loved. We must remember to
give thanks. How about romantic partners who showed us what
it feels like to be desired, cherished, and truly seen,
Even if they ended tragically those relationships but for a
time there desire, cherished, and seen. Friends who laughed with us,
(13:06):
enjoy and held space for our tears. Family members who sacrifice, protected,
supported and gave us foundation, who stood behind us, who
stood with us. These are the pillars of our emotional lives.
Even when we've outgrown those relationships or circumstances have changed,
the gift of what they offered at that time remains.
(13:28):
By honoring the good, we relive it. Gratitude amplifies memory
in a way that rewrites the emotional experience, not only
for the past, but also especially for the present now.
Of course, you can't have the good without the bad.
And as much as many want to put these bad
(13:49):
experiences into our mind's eye and throw away the key,
it's still here and we cannot, and we should not
forget those that have harmed us Like what Yes, because
it's still a lesson, maybe difficult, but with time they
(14:11):
may be forgiven. But forgetting is difficult. But we should
still have gratitude for the difficult times. But Jimmy, those
people hurt us. Those people have failed us, they've betrayed us,
they've left us, they've ignored us. Is it possible to
(14:32):
be grateful for them too? In my opinion, of course,
it is, because in many cases, it is these people
who became mirrors. They showed us what we needed to heal.
They revealed the parts of ourselves we hadn't yet owned,
the parts still craving validation, worth, boundaries, and strength. They
(14:55):
brought the lessons that no one else could have taught.
Painful relations often become the greatest catalyst for transformation. They
wake us up, they strip us down, and through that
process we either break or become unbreakable. Resilience is often
(15:17):
forged in the fires of disappointment. But the gift of
those relationships isn't just survival. It's wisdom, clarity, It's a
deeper self understanding. Let me share my thoughts on the
mirror of relationships, all relationship that act as mirrors reflecting
(15:41):
back aspects of our selves. When you're deeply moved by
someone's kindness, it's likely because you value that trait in yourself.
When someone triggers you, it may be a sign of
unresolved pain or a personal insecurity. Through connection, we are
(16:03):
constantly learning who we are. The best relationships are not
always the easiest. They are the ones that challenge us
to be honest, vulnerable, brave, and accountable. This mirror effect
is a gift that enables us to identify our values,
our triggers our growth. Without other people reflecting these aspects
(16:29):
of ourselves, our personal evolution would be much slower. Relationships
accelerate growth. Romantic relationships teachers of the heart. Few connections
are as emotionally charged as romantic relationships. They bring with
them the promise of intimacy, safety, and belonging, but they
(16:54):
also demand vulnerability, communication, compromise, and emotional maturity. Romantic partners
often become valuable. As I said, they they make us
(17:28):
just feel better, make us feel like we're a part
of something. With them, we learn about love languages. We
learn how to deal with conflict, resolutions and forgiveness. We
(17:49):
discover how to stay when things get hard, or to
how to walk away when staying would mean losing ourselves
to field. Relationships are very valuable. They clarify what we
want and don't want. They teach us about compatibility, communication,
(18:09):
and self worth, And when we take time to reflect,
we begin to see how we are better because of
the love we gave and even the love we didn't
to get in return. Surprisingly, I have met many clients
that have shared the stories of their relationships that they've
(18:31):
gotten with You know, they've had with friends, and that
at some point these friends that were originally strangers and
have become closer than those relationships we have with blood relatives.
I ask of you now, is there a friend out there?
(18:52):
Is there a friend out there that you would say
is closer to you than family, Someone that you can
call upon in times of needs and times of joy,
that you feel is closer to you than any brother, sister,
or parent. It's the family we choose. Friends are the
(19:15):
anchors of our lives. While romantic relationships may wax and wane,
but deep friendships often endure a cross time and distance.
They are the people who witness our unfolding and remain
steady throughout it. Friendships teach us about reciprocity, loyalty, humor, presence,
(19:39):
and patience. They show us how to be there for
others and how to allow ourselves to receive true friends
remind us of who we are when we forget. Even
friendships that end have value. They may have taught us
(20:02):
to set boundaries or to recognize when we were giving
too much. Do you sometimes feel that you give too much?
They may have been seasonal companions for a particular stage
of growth, but their impact for however long, still leaves
a mark. How about family? Think of yours. Some people
(20:28):
have big families, others small. What has your family brought
to your table? Have they supported you? Have they abandoned you?
Do they believe in you? Are they still a part
of your lives now? Some are still connected forever, deep
(20:49):
like the roots of a huge oak tree that has
been around forever. Others have left deep wounds that never
seem to primarily because we feel that being of the
same blood, they should be held to a higher standard,
be even more supportive and understanding, offering more unconditional love.
(21:13):
But sometimes there are Some of these are some of
the hardest relationships that we deal with. Family relationships are
among the most complicated and but yet influential. They provide
the first models of love, communication, conflict, and identity. Our parents, siblings,
(21:38):
and extended families shape our world view before we ever
step out into the wider world. But regardless of experience,
these relationships are foundational. They can show us what kind
of love we want to give or avoid. They may
teach us resilience, compassion, empathy, or self preservation. Being better
(22:04):
for knowing your family doesn't always mean you can known
everything that may have happened with your family. It means
you choose to learn from them. You extract this wisdom
even if the experience was painful. And this is a
(22:29):
topic that I've brought up on many occasions, that so
many have shared with me how difficult it is, and
how they feel that it is not only impossible, but
they have or should not have to forgive. Now you
may have already rolled your eyes when I speak of
(22:49):
the role of forgiveness, but understand this different perspective. I
have a fight with somebody, a friend that is now
become somewhat of an enemy. A week ago, a year ago,
twenty years ago. Okay, now today I'm having a great day.
(23:09):
I'm having a wonderful life so far, and for some reason,
a memory is painted across my mind. Momentarily like a
polaroid picture beginning to focus, and I see it of
a moment in my past, a connection to this person,
this person that had had hurt me, had betrayed me,
(23:31):
lied to me, cheated on me. And here I stand
now think about this in this present, thinking of that moment,
bringing back all of the emotion, connection of anger, hatreds,
and this heartbreak, all that stuff. Think about that I
(23:52):
am reconnecting with emotions of the past, of a memory
that happened many times years ago. And the person that
did this to me is somewhere else walking this earth,
or for many of you the way you may think,
hopefully not but living their life, moving on, moving forward,
(24:13):
not even thinking of me. So many of us wish
they were, But who cares, well as I far know,
if they have chosen to move forward and start a
new life, forward being the key word. Whereas now here
I am having a good day, forcing myself to stop
(24:36):
and for a moment or two going backwards to a
time that may not have been very pleasant. But understand
that now my body is connected with my mind, So
now I'm creating a sort of trauma in my body.
Feeling sad, feeling let down, feeling cheated, feeling pain for
(25:00):
being hurt, and light to This is what I am
now bringing to my body emotionally in this present moment.
Hopefully when you hear this, you will think to yourself,
why do I bother? Why would I want to cheat
myself out of having a wonderful day now with the
(25:22):
people around me, the good people, the nice people, the
loving people that may and the future be the ones
I hurt us. But I'm cheating them out right now,
the present good people of time, because now I'm going
to talk about a memory that happened twenty years ago
(25:42):
by somebody who hurt me twenty years ago. And sure
these emotions now with this person who we are currently having,
we're having a great day. Now. I'm passing on this
to them, this energy, this memory of something that was
done to me twenty years ago through me. Now I
(26:03):
am sharing misery, heartache, pain. Now that their posture changes,
their facial experience for expressions change, and because we do
have this current union now they even feel bad for
me over something that happened twenty years ago. They may
(26:28):
even get angry, say let's screw this person, let's go
kick their ass. How dare they have hurt you twenty
years ago? I've ruined the moment, ruined the day. These
are the threads that I was kind of talking about
that are connected to others, some good, some bad, Some
(26:49):
are nice and shiny, and others are just covered in misery, hatred, anger, rage,
and just shit. Understand that these people brought lessons to us,
the lessons of life that we were supposed to just
learn and move on. Accept a lesson and do everything
we can to not allow it to happen anymore. But
(27:13):
by continuing to repeat it without answering what happened, coming
to grips with it, accepting it, finding resolve for what happened,
we're not helping ourselves. We have not learned obviously. And
as I've mentioned, I'm not asking you to forgive and
forget them. I'm asking you to forgive for yourself, whatever
(27:39):
the situation may have been, find it in your heart
and so to move on, to allow yourself to heal,
To allow yourself to heal, To allow yourself to heal,
To stop ripping open old scars and sharing these traumas
(28:02):
and these miserable moments frozen in time that you keep
thawing out and bringing back to the present that we
continue to carry on our shoulders into our present and
into our future, into our lives. Breakups happen, relationships end.
Everything is temporary. Hopefully you will live a long life
(28:22):
and you will see that these ups and downs will
continue for many, many years ahead of you. Guess what.
The people that you're with now may betray you, They
may hurt you. No way, not the it can happen.
You're a human, just like you. There should be a
(28:43):
point in your life where you get used to it,
you become wiser and you're willing to accept every day
as experiences good, bad and ugly, and that you're able
to move on to the next day, to tomorrow, having
learned what happened in the day prior and accepting it
(29:03):
and now looking forward to tomorrow and allowing yourself wholeheartedly
to enjoy this moment, especially with those around you now laughing,
loving and being happy. But Jimmy, it's hard to forgive. Well,
I never said it wasn't, But understand that forgiveness is
(29:25):
not forgetting or excusing harm. It is the act of
freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. You're the one
who's carrying this. When we carry anger and bitterness towards
people from our past, we keep their influence alive in
our minds and bodies. Letting go doesn't mean reconciliation. It
(29:45):
means choosing peace. When you recognize that everyone is doing
the best they can from their level of awareness, you
begin to soften. You begin to see the humanity and
even those who hurt you, and in doing so, you
return your power to yourself. Forgiveness to me is one
(30:11):
of the highest forms of gratitude. It says thank you
for the lesson on taking the good, releasing the rest,
and moving forward with more grace. Aren't you worth it? Now?
For those of my listeners that continually think that the
world revolves around them, I'm always fascinated by you. But
(30:34):
for all of you making you happy, being kind and
not being selfish, bringing a lot to your table. But
what about you? What do you bring to other people's table?
Are you compassionate? Maybe it's you that's a complete and
(30:55):
total ass for all you know? Right now you have
friends that I can no longer be your friend? Would Yes? Yes,
there's other people on this planet too. How are you
treating them? Remember it goes both ways. Perhaps the most
important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself,
(31:17):
and everyone you meet reflects how you see and treat yourself.
The more love, grace, and understanding you give to stop
blaming and start learning, you become more resilient, more open,
more alive, and you begin to realize that being better
for knowing someone means that they were better for knowing
you too. I want to I want to veer off
(31:41):
for a moment and share with you a story of
a friendship, a very close friendship, not mine, but it's
interesting one and it's funny. When I was thinking of friendships,
I for some reason, this group, these two people popped
into my head because I like both of their music
and I had heard rumors. So I did some research
(32:03):
and went through different pages to put this together because
I was I was somewhat right. And it'll show you
the roller coaster of emotions and how it can bring
somebody into your life and then push them away and
then bring them back even closer where you can create
(32:25):
such a bond, and then before you know it, they
are no longer here with you, and then you can't
help but think of time wasted. The many things that
were said that maybe shouldn't have the things that should
have been let go and forgiven and forgotten to be
able to reconnect with just the good times that now
(32:48):
no longer can be had, especially when, as I said,
you've lost them and now you wonder what could have happened,
what should have been said two musicians, Elton John and
(33:09):
George Michael. I always see the video of them together
and I'm like, that's interest because I always heard that
they there was something there. Well, they had a complic
complicated relationship marked by a lot of public I mean,
when you're famous, everybody knows your business. Was kind of
how people want to meddle and figure shit out. But
(33:29):
you know, within their public tension and private struggles, but
they eventually found very deep respect and forgiveness for each other,
especially after George Michael's passing. In the glitzy, an often
brutal world of fame and fortune, where eagles sometimes clash
(33:50):
and headlines the media is exaggerates, Elton John and George
Michael were two huge giants if you did not know of,
you know, British pop music, who had everything in common
except for a time that they just it was not
going well in the eighties and nineties, Elton John was
(34:11):
already a global legend, and George Michael was rising fast
as the lead singer of the band Wham and then
as a solo artist. As you can see if you
follow their careers, both were very flamboyant, bold and deeply
extremely talented. But with that talent comes pressure, scrutiny, and sadly,
(34:36):
a lot of personal demons that neither of them handled
the same way. Elton, who had gone through his own
battles with addiction for many years and fame, was just
very outspoken, especially when it came to people he cared for.
George Michael, intensely private and proud, did not appreciate this
(34:59):
kind of unsolicited attention from Elton John, especially not from
someone who seemed to judge rather than support. Their feud
really began in the nineteen nineties when Elton publicly criticized
(35:20):
George Michael's album which is actually this is one of
my favorite albums. I listened to it. I still listen
to it called Listen Without Prejudice Volume one. It's not
your typical pop stuff that he's put out, and it's
funny because I loved it from like you know, from
song one to the very last one. I've played it
quite often, but Elton went out publicly and said that
(35:40):
he called it an introspective and lacking commercial appeal, which
it does. Then an interview, Elton expressed concern that George
was too isolated and that he felt in a deeply
unhappy place. And of course, at this time, George was
already struggling with his identity and his grief from losing
(36:02):
one of his a partner, and growing public pressure didn't
take kindly to what felt like a personal attack back
at Elton John. He fired back, telling Q magazine that
Elton should shut his mouth and that he didn't seem
like someone who cared. And what ended up happening was
(36:25):
a decade of very cold distance. Publicly, yes they were civil,
Privately there was great resentment, but behind the curtains, something
deeper was going on. Elton John had been through all
of this himself. He knew addiction, he knew shame, and
(36:47):
as the years went on, and as George spiraled into
more public trouble, the arrest of drug use and the
emotional instability, Elton saw not a rival but a reflection
of his own past. Despite their falling out, he never
stopped caring and reaching out. Eventually Elton reached out and
(37:10):
it connected not through press, not through judgment, but with
quiet sincere compassion, he offered help, rehab, a listening ear. George,
though initially resistant, eventually let his guard down and slowly
something shifted. They began talking again, sharing again, healing. In
(37:32):
later interviews, George michae would admit that Elton had shown
him a real relationship, a true friendship. At the time
he didn't see it, but it was there that despite
their past, he had come to understand that Elton's concerns
truly came from love and not arrogance. He said, and
(37:53):
I quote, he really tried to help, and I pushed
him away, But I see now that he wanted me
to be okay. Elton, for his own part, he never
talked about He never boasted about their reconciliation, never even
brought it up to him. It was about them too,
so well, they're friendship. So as you can imagine. When
(38:14):
George Michael passed away un expectedly on Christmas Day twenty sixteen,
that was that long ago. Elton was very devastated. He
paid tribute with tears in his eyes and posted I
have lost a beloved friend, the kindness, most generous soul,
and a brilliant artist. My heart goes out to his family,
(38:34):
friends and all of the many many fans. I will
so miss him. This story reminds should remind us that
even in the deepest rifts, people can heal, people can
let down their defenses and lead with empathy, that time, reflection,
(38:58):
and genuine care cannot can soften even the hardest of grudges.
Fame fame may exaggerate our flaws, but underneath, people are people.
People are people. Hurt, pride, misunderstanding and happens to the
best of us. What matters most is the courage to
reach across the distance, to apologize or accept, and to
(39:21):
realize that sometimes the person you once clash with might
be the very soul who understanded you the most. For
some of you, you may see the relationship between celebrities
as something very different, something on a much higher pedestal
than the relationships that you may have with your spouse
or just your next door neighbor, good friend. Somebody think
(39:43):
that being a celebrity and a celebrity living a celebrity
life is so wonderful because of the endless abundance of
what we see, the car, the money, the houses, and
how they flaunt it all. But they worry just like us,
They stress just like us, they cry just like us,
and they hurt just like us. They feel just like us.
(40:06):
They stress, and many of them go through life. Although
famous to millions, they couldn't feel more alone. If there
is a relationship out there with somebody that you have
thought of at some point of possibly reconnecting with, my
advice is to begin to work towards it. Not just
(40:26):
pick up a phone and do it right now, but
prepare yourself with all that the different things that may
be said, and be ready to answer what level of
understanding are you at now. To truly embrace the idea
that you are better for knowing everyone, you must live
with conscious gratitude. This means reflecting on past relationships with compassion,
(40:52):
not anger, expressing love and appreciation and care frequently, being
honest about your needs and your boundaries, letting go of
relationships that have run their course, with peace, forgiving where
needed for your own growth. You don't need to You
(41:15):
don't have to keep every person in your life, but
you can keep the lesson forever. That is the way forward.
I asked that you turn reflection into action. So that's
why I have these following exercises that I feel will
help you deepen, nurture, and honor your most important relationships.
(41:38):
I hope you can take the time to work on it,
you know, put some effort into it as I for
those of you that follow me, whenever I do exercise
it at the end, I do recommend you do it
with someone else. It keeps you honest, a good person.
Not to me, it's just gonna judge you and put
you down. But uh, there's different things that I think
you can do to help build relationships strengthen relationships. Sponds
(42:01):
the Weekly Checking. The Weekly Checking, set aside thirty minutes
each week to talk with your partner or your closest
friend about the relationship serious ask about what felt good
this week, what didn't? How can we support each other better.
(42:26):
Then you have something called the Love language Exploration. Read
about the five love languages, words, acts, gifts, time, touch.
Identify yours and your partners. What is it that you
love about each other? How you connect and practice giving
(42:47):
to them as much as you wish to give to yourself.
Remember the world doesn't revolve around you. And how about
every so often have an apology and given this ritual practices,
choose a moment when emotions are calm. Each person shares
one thing that they regret and one thing that they
(43:09):
forgive the other four and end with a loving embrace
or gesture of closeness. Nothing you do, especially for those
that are like far away gratitude letters. Write a letter,
a message to someone expressing why you're grateful for them,
Email them, text them, even if they're nearby. Be specific.
(43:34):
Mention moments they showed up for you that you didn't forget.
I never forgot that you did this back in third grade.
The next one is an important one because I think
it's every so often we may find ourselves with friends
that aren't Maybe the friend is actually an acquaintance, and
maybe the acquaintance is actually an enemy. It's called the
(43:57):
friendship audit. Elect on the friends you have, Which relationships
energize you, which deplete you, which bring you down and
break you down. Choose one friendship to nurture and one
to let go of with love. Not telling you to
just get rid of friends, but the people the you
(44:20):
know people that have vampire energy that just suck your
dry every time you see them, that when you see
them coming, you're not happy. I mean, if you want
to just end it right away, that's really up to you.
But my thing is, stop putting so much effort towards
the people that aren't putting the effort towards you, because
(44:41):
there are I assume there are people that are and
those are the relationships that you should build and grow.
And then you should have a monthly weekly connection day
schedule a day where you break bread with someone, actually
(45:02):
have a cup of tea or a cup of coffee,
and you just hey, how's your month been, what's been
going on? Is everything good? Are you doing good? Make
it sacred and consistent. This is our time together, no family,
no kids, whatever, just you and your friend somewhere. You
just talk about life, what's going good, what's going bad?
(45:28):
As for family, again, I will repeat for those of
you that know or don't know, I love history, and
to me, whenever I meet with somebody, I love storytelling.
I've been told that I'm a great person to ask
great questions about life and why and I could get
(45:48):
people talking for hours about themselves because I love listening.
Ask an older family member to share stories from their youth,
or actually anybody, the stranger across the street, you know,
the old man you walk by, the old lady that
you see so often, walk up to her and just
ask her something that will help her rekindle some good memories.
(46:13):
Great way to preserve legacy and to deepen connection. Then,
of course there's healing. Choose a family member with whom
you may have some tension. This isn't about picking a fight.
Maybe before you speak to them, write down what you
(46:34):
need to say and invite a conversation with them. Then
tend to heal, not blame, not restart the fire, just
hear them out and try to You know what I
tend to do is I try to listen from their
ears and try to see it through their body of
what may they have thought, may have happened. I just
(46:59):
think that's a very important thing to do. And one
of the last things is h acts of service. Perform
one unprompted act of kindness for a friend or family
member this week. It could be do a chore for them,
cook them a meal, bring them a gift, or even
(47:22):
a hug. You know those hugs that you give people.
They're just like, what was that for? I don't need
a reason. Just remember that you are the sum of
every encounter you make, and that you are better for it.
The people you've loved, the ones you've lost, the ones
who hurt you have hurt you, and the ones who
(47:45):
heal you. They were all a part of you becoming.
So walk forward with gratitude, keep learning, keep loving, and
keep choosing to be someone who others are also better
for knowing you, Because the truth is, we don't get
to control who we meet, but we do get to
(48:06):
choose how we remember them and how we let them
make us better. I hope I made you think. I
hope I made you question your existence and to appreciate
every tomorrow, every today, and to be grateful for all
the experiences of the past that may have made you
(48:29):
who you are. Right now, keep this in mind. Choose
action over excuse, purpose over comfort, and the work that
matters over the distractions that don't. My name is Jimmy
Gonzalez and this was the Reset Yourself twenty two podcasts.
Go forward and live your life to the fullest. Thank
(48:53):
you so much for listening, liking, subscribing, and hopefully sharing
with others. It means a lot to me, many many
blessings to you all. Be well and prosperbs.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Shall boa that offer everything house and do all they
can to make a difference in our lives and the
lives of others. If you are interested in learning more
about the services that Jimmy offers, visit www dot n
O E M A h h dot com. Jimmy offers
(49:53):
a downloadable ebook and a link to his Mind's Eye
meditation sessions, which are both offered for free. Please do
that are at a gift and for those that like
the do it yourself approach, Jimmy also offers pre recorded
self hypnosis sessions. If you prefer the one on one approach,
feel free to reach out.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
You have been listening to
Speaker 1 (50:11):
The Reset Yourself twenty two podcast
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