The conversation examines the implications of a viral incident involving a CEO and a public display of affection at a Coldplay concert, sparking discussions on privacy, social media ethics, public apologies, and the human impact of viral content. The hosts reflect on the consequences of public actions, the nature of accountability, and the role of humor in navigating uncomfortable situations, ultimately emphasizing the importance of empathy in the age of social media.
takeaways
- The incident highlights the blurred lines between public and private life in the age of social media.
- Public apologies often come after being caught, raising questions about sincerity.
- Social media can amplify personal mistakes, affecting not just individuals but their families and companies.
- Humor can be a natural response to awkward situations, but it can also be insensitive.
- The consequences of actions can extend beyond the individual to their professional life.
- Privacy is increasingly difficult to maintain in a world where everyone has a camera.
- Viral content can dehumanize individuals, reducing them to entertainment.
- Empathy is crucial when discussing the lives of those affected by viral incidents.
- The conversation about social media ethics is complex and multifaceted.
- Understanding the human element behind viral stories is essential for meaningful dialogue.
Chapters
00:00
Introduction to the Viral Incident
03:13
The Impact of Social Media on Privacy
06:15
Public Apologies and Accountability
07:56
The Ethics of Sharing Personal Moments
11:06
The Role of Humor in Awkward Situations
13:42
Navigating Professional Consequences
16:52
The Dangers of Dehumanization on Social Media
19:52
The Responsibility of Posting About Others
22:55
The Intersection of Personal and Professional Life
26:04
Conclusion and Reflection on Social Media Use
30:15
R&R Outro.mp4
Everyone has resilience, but what does that mean, and how do we use it in life and leadership? Join Stephanie Olson, an expert in resiliency and trauma, every week as she talks to other experts living lives of resilience. Stephanie also shares her own stories of addictions, disordered eating, domestic and sexual violence, abandonment, and trauma, and shares the everyday struggles and joys of everyday life. As a wife, mom, and CEO she gives commentaries and, sometimes, a few rants to shed light on what makes a person resilient. So, if you have experienced adversity in life in any way and want to learn how to better lead your family, your workplace, and, well, your life, this podcast is for you!
https://setmefreeproject.net
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:18):
You hello and welcome to resilience and relationships
R and R, where we do real talkwith real people, is that what
our tag is Real Talk somethinglike that. I don't know. Anyway,
I'm Stephanie Olson, and I'mhere with Rebecca Saunders, who
Okay, so we have an interestingthing to talk about today, and
(00:42):
I'm, I don't know it just it wasa big deal, and it kind of
concerned me when I saw this.
But yesterday, my sister sent mea clip, and she sent it with
just like, you know, emoji eyes,like, oh my gosh, and,
(01:04):
you know, turn your sound on,and then that's what we, I mean,
we'll, we'll watch movies andthen talk about them afterwards,
or have discussions about thingswe absolutely agree on or
absolutely disagree on, orwhatever. But she sent this to
me, and it was a video. So forthose of you who have not seen
(01:26):
it, it is the Coldplay video. Soit's a video of, apparently,
what Coldplay does or did inthis concert was they do what I
don't know it's like a kiss camonly with this one. What they
were doing is they were findingpeople, and then the Coldplay
(01:49):
guy, I don't know his name,whatever, Coldplay lead singer,
yes, would create a song aboutthem and just sing it right
then. And so there was video ofthem wrapping up with one
couple, and then they moved tothis couple, and it was a man,
(02:10):
kind of with his arms aroundthis woman. They were in what
was clearly a corporate box. Soit was like a corporate thing
they were at, and he was puttinghis arms around her like you
would a romantic, very intimate,and they were listening to the
(02:32):
songs, and all of a sudden thecam goes on them, and they look
up and see it. The woman ducksdown and the or the woman turns
around like covers her face,turns around, the guy ducks down
and the Coldplay guy says,either they are having an affair
or they're very shy.
(02:55):
Well, what happened was, itturns out that this guy is the
CEO of a tech company calledastronomer, and she
was, and I say was, because Idon't know what happened next. I
wouldassume is, is the chief people
(03:15):
officer, the head of HR,and then next to her in the cam
was one of her staff members.
Okay, so we find all this, butshe was the head of HR until
just now, ironic. Yes, littlebit, yeah, I a little ironic. So
(03:37):
the first person who postedthis, who knows if they, I mean,
obviously they were at theconcert. They saw it happening.
They were obviously videoing theKiss Cam things. Who knows. And
then they posted it.
Now what has and I want to talkabout that piece. But what has
(03:58):
happened since then is that itcame out, that this is who it
was, and it went viral. I mean,not just wildfire, not just like
a little viral. I mean,everybody was talking about
this, and it was being postedeverywhere, on Tiktok, on
(04:20):
Instagram, all over the place,and it my sister had the
foresight early on, becausewe're diggers and researchers,
whatever, she went to hisLinkedIn immediately. And on his
LinkedIn,on a post that he had just
posted, there were comments allover and people were commenting,
(04:44):
people were making jokes, peoplewere just whatever. And finally
they locked down his LinkedInlike it was gone, but the
company's LinkedIn was alsolocked down so nobody could
post.
Post on that. Andthen if you went to the company
website, which I did, youcouldn't click on anybody's they
(05:07):
were all on there, but youcouldn't click on anybody's
email. And so it I'm glad theywere overwhelmed with responses
about this. Oh my gosh,overwhelmed. But the person I
could not stop thinking aboutwas his wife and kids, or the
people I could not stop thinkingabout was thinking on how fast
(05:28):
that was posted. That could havebeen the way she found out about
everything. I am sure that's howshe found out, because after her
oh my gosh, and, you know, Ithink about
my world, which is much smallerthan that, but even when you
(05:49):
know we're on the news orsomething, or if there is, Hey,
I saw your pocket, I amconstantly getting people
sending me the story or textingme, Oh, I saw this.
I'm sure her phone was blowingup. I'm sure her, I mean, I
can't even imagine, cannot evenimagine, and I don't know
(06:10):
anything about his family life,but I I think he has kids,
because I think he mentioned Iwas gonna ask, I don't know, but
if he has kids, I mean, surelythis is getting back to them
too. Yeah, yep. Depending ontheir ages, they may have
friends with phones that haveseen the video. Yeah, it, it's,
it's ridiculous. So I want totalk about that a little bit,
(06:32):
and about social media, and Iwant to talk about his response,
and just, I don't know, youknow, is social media. Do should
we expect privacy? Should weexpect anything and and if we
are putting things out there, ornot, even if we are putting
(06:54):
things out there, if otherpeople are putting things out
there, what can we expect? Andwhat should we expect? So I want
to read your questions. Yes,yes. Well, you know, thank you.
So I want to share thisstatement from CEO Andy Byron,
(07:17):
and I'm just going to read itespecially for people who aren't
able to view this or justlistening, but this is what it
says. I want to acknowledge themoment that's been circling
online, and the disappointmentit's caused what was supposed to
be a night of music and joyturned into a deeply personal
(07:39):
mistake playing out on a verypublic stage. I do want to come
back to that statement rightthere. I want to sincerely say,
oh, a lot to say, yes. I want tosincerely apologize to my wife,
my family and the team atastronomer, astronomer, yes,
(08:00):
astronomer, you deserve betterfor me as a partner, as a
father, okay, so he does havekids. And as a leader, this is
not who I want to be or how Iwant to represent, represent the
company I helped build. So he'sobviously a founder of some sort
(08:21):
so represent the company Ihelped build. I'm taking time to
reflect, to take accountabilityand to figure out the next
steps, personally andprofessionally, I ask for
privacy as I navigate thatprocess, I also want to express
how troubling it is that whatshould have been a private
moment became public without myconsent. I respect artists and
(08:47):
entertainers, but I hope we canall think more deeply about the
impact of turning someone else'slife into a spectacle.
As a friend once sang, lightswill guide you home and ignite
your bones, and I will try tofix you. I don't, I don't even
get that ending, but the lyricfrom a song, yeah, one of their
(09:10):
songs. So what a cold playssongs,
see, I don't know. Cole, ohyeah, okay, go ahead.
I have so many thoughts. Yeah,even from the first line
and oh my goodness, how do you Icould just talk all day. So
interrupt me if you want, butokay,
(09:32):
I think it is perfectly normaland reasonable to desire
privacy. Absolutely. I don'tthink there's anything wrong
with that. However,I am always very skeptical of
public apologies that come rightafter you've been caught,
because if this is not what youintended to do, then why did you
do it?
(09:52):
Yes, yes, well, and that thefirst line, which was this was
supposed to be.
A private night of joy andmusic. Okay? Just right there
that night as the apology, noone was close enough about this,
right? 100% now, if you look atthe Okay, so we're going to talk
(10:15):
about this as social media,you know, eventually,
but having an affair, I'm gonnago on the record, was saying is
wrong, right?
It's wrong like we can allagree, not, okay? Well, you and
I can I'm sure there are peopleout there who would challenge
(10:38):
that, or would say it's none ofour business. How dare we even
make that inference? But I'mgoing to go on the record saying
it's wrong between us, right anda few other people, I'm
guessing.
So what was supposed to be aprivate night of joy and music
already right there? Thatbothers me, because what we know
(11:02):
is that at leastone coworker or employee or
whatever is in the room, right?
And if it's a box for employers,or, you know, if it's a if it's
a box that astronomer bought, orhe bought, or whatever the
people he brought to that eventknow he's having an affair.
(11:26):
Clearly, the looks of everythingthis is not the first night they
have disclosed feelings for oneanother that that was very
intimate. I don't think myhusband has ever held me like
that at a concert. You know it'slike, I don't know. I think I
would be uncomfortable even in arelationship. That's a lot of
PDA for me. I know. Well, yeah,exactly. So
(11:50):
now should you necessarily beI don't know. Okay, so private.
Yeah, I thinkthat's drawing from this. It's
not new. It's not new.
Other people know it's not thatprivate, obviously, right?
(12:12):
Because we know other peopleknew about it.
What? What he was saying,however, is that nobody was
going to post it on socialmedia. That's essentially what
he was saying, private, privatemeaning my wife doesn't know
my family doesn't know my lifeto know this is happening
(12:33):
exactly so I I think we are allaware, though, or we should be
that in today's day and age, ifyou are outside, and frankly,
half the time, if you're inside,like right now, you know we're
online. What? Nothing's privateanymore.
(12:54):
You can't count on it. You canwalk down a street, you can go
into a store. You're beingrecorded.
So I don't knowwell, and I think that that kind
of comes back to the integritypiece, right? Like, I believe
that you should be willing toown up to anything you do at any
moment. Yeah, and yes, we allhave bad days. I'm not saying
(13:16):
that no one's ever mademistakes. I've made plenty.
Yeah, we all havelike that could get brought up
again, and that's, that's justlife, and with or without social
media, someone may find outabout the thing that you're
doing. And that's, I thinksocial media accelerates that
great Correct, correct if you'regoing to do something or say
(13:37):
something, be prepared that youmight have to answer for that
exactly. And I heard somebodytalking about something totally
different yesterday, but he wasmaking the comment that back in
the day,people used to like if you told
something about somebody behindtheir back, you know, you you
(13:59):
spread gossip or rumor orwhatever, it would eventually
get back to that person. Itwould take a long time, but then
it would be like, Hey, I'mmeeting you at the playground at
three o'clock, you know. And youcould essentially
escape or move away from yourbad reputation, because social
(14:24):
media wasn't around to followyou. If you you know if I do
something in Nebraska and then Imoved to California, nobody I
can reinvent myself. Nobodyknows in California what I did
in Nebraska. But with socialmedia, that's not the case
anymore. Everything we do is ondisplay,
and we can't leave, leave itokay. So,
(14:48):
so one of the things thatso okay was supposed to be a
night of music and joy. Okay? Hedidn't say,
he didn't say a pride.
At night of music and joy. Hejust said, what was supposed to
be a night of music and joyturned into a deeply personal
mistake. No, it already was amistake, right? The
(15:12):
mistake is that people know notmy actual actions, right? And a
mistake is like, oh my gosh, Igrabbed two different shoes,
right? That's a mistake. Igrabbed a black and brown pair.
A mistake is not, oh my gosh, Iaccidentally fell into this
affair with somebody. Oops. Thatsucks that that just happened.
(15:34):
You know, that's not a mistake.
Even an argument could be madeof like there was one action
that was inappropriate with theperson, that's a mistake, okay?
Like, there's an argument to bemade there, right? Something
ongoing, right? I You can't callthat a mistake. I don't want a
mistake, right? Exactly, okay,so then
(15:56):
what he says that bothers me is,I also want to express how
troubling it is that what shouldhave been a private moment
became public without myconsent.
So talk about that. I'm curiouswhat your thoughts are. Seeing
feelings there. I really do,because that statement by
(16:19):
itself, without the context ofwhat's happened. Okay, I see it.
I mean, I I look back at thingsthat even like my mom, well
meaning, has posted on Facebookwhen I was a kid, I'm like, Oh,
that's so embarrassing, youknow? Yeah, sure. So I get it
however.
We're talking about somethingthat was to an extent under his
(16:41):
control, not in that it wasposted, but in that you are in a
public place, doing things thatyou know that other people are
witnessing. I mean, you you knowthe world we live in. You know
that there are cameraseverywhere, especially at an
event like this, right? So Ijust don't know that there
really was a true reason to havean expectation of privacy there
(17:01):
i i agree. I agree.
And again, anybody could havebecause my guess is, and I'm
just speculating, I have no ideaif this is true or not, but my
guess is that there were photostaken within the box. They were
(17:23):
sharing. You know, there werethey were having fun, they were
together as a group. And that'swhat happens. And if that
happened, there's really nodifference than somebody
randomly in the crowd taking aphoto or video of the cam thing,
and somebody taking a photo andsharing it now the original
(17:47):
poster of this, so the personwho originally posted it. Do we
know who that is? I don't knowwho that is. No, no,
but they knew what they wereposting when they posted it. I
mean, let's be real. Goodintentions. There they're
(18:09):
sitting. No, they wanted a viralvideo. They wanted to show what
was going on, because it wasevident that these people were
probably having an affair. Ithink they probably just lucked
out.
I mean, they could have, whoknows it could have been an who
(18:32):
knows who it was, and if youknow that, I mean, there's so
much speculation there. Butregardless, they knew what they
were doing. To just remindeveryone we don't know any of
these people. No right sayingwhat we think. Yes, this is
totally opinion, totallyspeculation, and just being an
(18:52):
observer from the viral videos.
And that's part of the reasonwe're not posting the video
itself, because we don't want tocontribute to the you know what
went viral. But we want to talkabout just yeah, anyway, but
they knew what they were doing,and that, I don't think is very
ethical. I don't need Yeah,posting something about
(19:19):
right? That's not cool,but not like to the person who
originally posted it with theintention of it probably going
viral. I'm assuming that's theirintention, right? You know,
I, I don't think that there wasany way to couch that that makes
it a great idea. Mean, you'rehurting his family. You're
(19:42):
hurting the company. People thathave nothing to do with what
this decision was have not beennegatively affected. And I
That's unfortunate. It is veryunfortunate. It's very
unfortunate. And we know thathappens all the time. And then,
of course, the people thatcontinued to make it viral.
People were doing exactly thesame thing and and now, you
(20:05):
know, some of those viral videoshave information on them. Now I
know exactly who it is. Now Iknow what's, you know, and
there's it just added to thefire. The other thing that
happened though, that I thoughtwas really sad. And it's kind of
a commentary on social media andour world right now, because
(20:27):
when I saw that, I did notlaugh. I was so sad. I mean, and
my first thought was for hiswife. That was my first thought,
and and his kids, now that weknow he has kids,
and thinking, oh my gosh,how would you feel if that were
you be horrible. But the otherthing that I noticed, there were
(20:52):
a ton of jokes about this allover the place, and that, right?
And we have to remember thatwhen we post things on social
media, we're dealing with realpeople and real lives.
(21:14):
And I think one of the thingssocial media has done, and
again, I'm a huge fan of socialmedia in my own I mean, I use
it, we use it, obviously goingto be using it with this podcast
or YouTube. I mean, right,exactly. So it's not social
media in and of itself, butsocial media has allowed us to
(21:39):
really be able to bully or tolook at people
as fodder for us, asentertainment, interactions,
yeah, and then add it is reallybad. And so when you think about
so we come from the perspectiveof everyone has an intrinsic
(22:01):
value that cannot be changed,and we really do live that
when we do this on social media,we are literally dehumanizing
human beings when wewhen we do some of The things I
see politically or with moviestars or what you know people we
consider public personas,because we are so far removed
(22:27):
from it, that's not somebody weknow personally, or that's not
somebody we can connect with it.
It always does seem like this.
It's it's distant for us. And sowe can joke about these people.
We can make fun of them. We cando memes about them, and oh, but
(22:52):
we forget those are real peopleand with families, real people
whose lives have been devastatedby this. And I mean, I even
think of the CEO, while I don'tcondone his actions in the
slightest. I mean, I cannotstand cheating. I think it's
horrid. But like you said, Imean, back in the day, you could
move away, you can get away fromhis reputation. I don't know
(23:12):
what this is going to do for himlong term, because thinking,
like professionally, you've gotthis attached to your name now,
and even just, you know, familylife, friends, it doesn't matter
where they go, this is going tofollow them, and that's for him,
too. Because, I mean, he reallycould have some heart change
here and genuinely apologize andwant to do better, and this is
(23:34):
still attached to him. Yeah,exactly. You know, the other
thing that's really interesting.
I'll be interested to see whatthe company does and what
happens going forward.
Everybody. It's Stephanie Olsonhere, and I just wanted to pop
in with a quick edit, becausethe CEO of astronomer did step
(23:54):
down and resigned the next day.
So that is what happened?
Because, should someone be firedfor having an affair? Well, I
would suppose that depends onyour job. You know, if you're a
pastor of a church, probably ifyou've signed a code of conduct
(24:17):
that says you can't do somethinglike that in your personal life,
absolutely,you know, in our work,
we have a code of conduct, butcertainly
that would not be actionable,that you have a personal life. I
mean, certainly that would notbe actionable, but once it was
(24:39):
posted and again, this wasn'this decision, but once it was
posted, it now affected thecompany.
So publicity to his company,exactly. So what do you do then?
Like, what are your thoughts?
Such a tough spot, because I dobelieve.
(25:00):
And giving people grace. And Ibelieve that, no, we've all made
mistakes. Some are just morepublic than others, and so
you're right. I mean, there aresome jobs that I definitely
agree with you. You know, ifyou're, if you're a marriage
counselor and you're spouse,please don't be a marriage
counselor anymore like that.
Rethink some of the thingsyou're doing. All right?
Sometimes your personal lifedoes really play into what you
(25:20):
do professionally, yeah? Butother times it doesn't, and it's
so tricky because I can see bothsides. Yeah, I can see for him
that maybe he is, I don't knowanything about his professional
life, but maybe he's great atwhat he does. And sure, he's a
billionaire, he's probablypretty good at what he does,
yeah? But I can also see theother side in the company of
like, hey, you know people,people purchase and get involved
(25:44):
with companies based on if theycan feel a connection to them.
And it's not always based off ofthe product that they have,
right, right? Oftentimes, it'sbased off of the people. And so
I totally understand the companyside too. Of hey, people do not
want to be associated with usbecause of this. We need to
distance ourselves from thisaction, right? So tricky. Yeah,
(26:05):
it really is. So the otherquestion I had, and I said this
to my sister, should have justhad my sister join us, but one
of the things I said to her wasit, it really bothered me.
So the woman next to them in thevideo was laughing the whole
(26:28):
time it happened. Oh that. Oh mygod. And she apparently,
according to what I've heard,was a staff member of the woman,
so she worked for a while. Yes,yes. Rumor also has it she just
got a promotion. But I don'tknow if that's true or not.
(26:50):
I'm not sure, but I saidthat kind of made me sick that
she was laughing about it, andmy sister said this, and I
really, actually appreciated hersaying this. Well, in all
fairness, we don't know how wewould respond
(27:10):
if we were in her shoes andcomfortable laughter, but I
don't know how it to do withthis. Yes, when we are in a in a
situation where we're nervous,or where, oh my gosh, and, and
some people do, that's theresponse is to laugh, and
there's a nervous laughter. Isthat right? Oh my goodness. It's
(27:32):
so hard when I'm getting on toher, because she's just like,
cracking up sometimes, and Iknow she doesn't mean it. It's
just like, Oh crap. I know Imessed up. Yes. It's like, Oh,
yeah. So there are people thatdo that. I know exactly now at
the well, I don't know, whoknows if she's friends with
these people. If she's just,Hey, I just work for them. It's
(27:55):
none of my business. I Who knowsbut, but I do think that's fair,
that I think we do makejudgments about things or people
that we see. And it's reallyeasy to be the Monday morning
quarterback and say, Well, Iwould never respond like that,
when, in fact, we really don'tknow until it's you, yeah, it's
(28:18):
so hard. And then also peoplesaid, well, if they would have
just played it cool, nobodywould have known, because nobody
would have made it viral. I'msure they have friends,
you would think, butyeah, that would see that say,
oh, what's going on there? Well,and the other thing is,
(28:41):
we have a natural response tosituations like our natural
response. I mean, it's you gointo fight or flight, right?
Regardless of whether it's abear or
something or a camera. And so Ithink again, we don't know how
(29:01):
we would behave, but So havingsaid all that, let's unless you
want to say any more about thecold place, situation itself, I
want to talk about and we maymake this a two parter,
Because now I want to have theconversation about social media
(29:24):
and and what is,what is appropriate, what's not,
what should we watch out for?
What are the things that we Idon't know. It's just, I think
that was a shining light thatwas a shining light on what can
happen.
(29:45):
You know, I, I think thisconversation is twofold, right?
Because it's whatwhat might other people post,
versus what might you post? Andthose might not be the same
things, but there's definitelythings to.
Consider everybody jumping inwith edit number two. Join us
(30:06):
next week for part two of thispodcast. We're going to continue
the conversation with socialmedia and privacy. You.
You hello and welcome to resilience and relationships
R and R, where we do real talkwith real people, is that what
our tag is Real Talk somethinglike that. I don't know. Anyway,
I'm Stephanie Olson, and I'mhere with Rebecca Saunders, who
Okay, so we have an interestingthing to talk about today, and
(00:42):
I'm, I don't know it just it wasa big deal, and it kind of
concerned me when I saw this.
But yesterday, my sister sent mea clip, and she sent it with
just like, you know, emoji eyes,like, oh my gosh, and,
(01:04):
you know, turn your sound on,and then that's what we, I mean,
we'll, we'll watch movies andthen talk about them afterwards,
or have discussions about thingswe absolutely agree on or
absolutely disagree on, orwhatever. But she sent this to
me, and it was a video. So forthose of you who have not seen
(01:26):
it, it is the Coldplay video. Soit's a video of, apparently,
what Coldplay does or did inthis concert was they do what I
don't know it's like a kiss camonly with this one. What they
were doing is they were findingpeople, and then the Coldplay
(01:49):
guy, I don't know his name,whatever, Coldplay lead singer,
yes, would create a song aboutthem and just sing it right
then. And so there was video ofthem wrapping up with one
couple, and then they moved tothis couple, and it was a man,
(02:10):
kind of with his arms aroundthis woman. They were in what
was clearly a corporate box. Soit was like a corporate thing
they were at, and he was puttinghis arms around her like you
would a romantic, very intimate,and they were listening to the
(02:32):
songs, and all of a sudden thecam goes on them, and they look
up and see it. The woman ducksdown and the or the woman turns
around like covers her face,turns around, the guy ducks down
and the Coldplay guy says,either they are having an affair
or they're very shy.
(02:55):
Well, what happened was, itturns out that this guy is the
CEO of a tech company calledastronomer, and she
was, and I say was, because Idon't know what happened next. I
wouldassume is, is the chief people
(03:15):
officer, the head of HR,and then next to her in the cam
was one of her staff members.
Okay, so we find all this, butshe was the head of HR until
just now, ironic. Yes, littlebit, yeah, I a little ironic. So
(03:37):
the first person who postedthis, who knows if they, I mean,
obviously they were at theconcert. They saw it happening.
They were obviously videoing theKiss Cam things. Who knows. And
then they posted it.
Now what has and I want to talkabout that piece. But what has
(03:58):
happened since then is that itcame out, that this is who it
was, and it went viral. I mean,not just wildfire, not just like
a little viral. I mean,everybody was talking about
this, and it was being postedeverywhere, on Tiktok, on
(04:20):
Instagram, all over the place,and it my sister had the
foresight early on, becausewe're diggers and researchers,
whatever, she went to hisLinkedIn immediately. And on his
LinkedIn,on a post that he had just
posted, there were comments allover and people were commenting,
(04:44):
people were making jokes, peoplewere just whatever. And finally
they locked down his LinkedInlike it was gone, but the
company's LinkedIn was alsolocked down so nobody could
post.
Post on that. Andthen if you went to the company
website, which I did, youcouldn't click on anybody's they
(05:07):
were all on there, but youcouldn't click on anybody's
email. And so it I'm glad theywere overwhelmed with responses
about this. Oh my gosh,overwhelmed. But the person I
could not stop thinking aboutwas his wife and kids, or the
people I could not stop thinkingabout was thinking on how fast
(05:28):
that was posted. That could havebeen the way she found out about
everything. I am sure that's howshe found out, because after her
oh my gosh, and, you know, Ithink about
my world, which is much smallerthan that, but even when you
(05:49):
know we're on the news orsomething, or if there is, Hey,
I saw your pocket, I amconstantly getting people
sending me the story or textingme, Oh, I saw this.
I'm sure her phone was blowingup. I'm sure her, I mean, I
can't even imagine, cannot evenimagine, and I don't know
(06:10):
anything about his family life,but I I think he has kids,
because I think he mentioned Iwas gonna ask, I don't know, but
if he has kids, I mean, surelythis is getting back to them
too. Yeah, yep. Depending ontheir ages, they may have
friends with phones that haveseen the video. Yeah, it, it's,
it's ridiculous. So I want totalk about that a little bit,
(06:32):
and about social media, and Iwant to talk about his response,
and just, I don't know, youknow, is social media. Do should
we expect privacy? Should weexpect anything and and if we
are putting things out there, ornot, even if we are putting
(06:54):
things out there, if otherpeople are putting things out
there, what can we expect? Andwhat should we expect? So I want
to read your questions. Yes,yes. Well, you know, thank you.
So I want to share thisstatement from CEO Andy Byron,
(07:17):
and I'm just going to read itespecially for people who aren't
able to view this or justlistening, but this is what it
says. I want to acknowledge themoment that's been circling
online, and the disappointmentit's caused what was supposed to
be a night of music and joyturned into a deeply personal
(07:39):
mistake playing out on a verypublic stage. I do want to come
back to that statement rightthere. I want to sincerely say,
oh, a lot to say, yes. I want tosincerely apologize to my wife,
my family and the team atastronomer, astronomer, yes,
(08:00):
astronomer, you deserve betterfor me as a partner, as a
father, okay, so he does havekids. And as a leader, this is
not who I want to be or how Iwant to represent, represent the
company I helped build. So he'sobviously a founder of some sort
(08:21):
so represent the company Ihelped build. I'm taking time to
reflect, to take accountabilityand to figure out the next
steps, personally andprofessionally, I ask for
privacy as I navigate thatprocess, I also want to express
how troubling it is that whatshould have been a private
moment became public without myconsent. I respect artists and
(08:47):
entertainers, but I hope we canall think more deeply about the
impact of turning someone else'slife into a spectacle.
As a friend once sang, lightswill guide you home and ignite
your bones, and I will try tofix you. I don't, I don't even
get that ending, but the lyricfrom a song, yeah, one of their
(09:10):
songs. So what a cold playssongs,
see, I don't know. Cole, ohyeah, okay, go ahead.
I have so many thoughts. Yeah,even from the first line
and oh my goodness, how do you Icould just talk all day. So
interrupt me if you want, butokay,
(09:32):
I think it is perfectly normaland reasonable to desire
privacy. Absolutely. I don'tthink there's anything wrong
with that. However,I am always very skeptical of
public apologies that come rightafter you've been caught,
because if this is not what youintended to do, then why did you
do it?
(09:52):
Yes, yes, well, and that thefirst line, which was this was
supposed to be.
A private night of joy andmusic. Okay? Just right there
that night as the apology, noone was close enough about this,
right? 100% now, if you look atthe Okay, so we're going to talk
(10:15):
about this as social media,you know, eventually,
but having an affair, I'm gonnago on the record, was saying is
wrong, right?
It's wrong like we can allagree, not, okay? Well, you and
I can I'm sure there are peopleout there who would challenge
(10:38):
that, or would say it's none ofour business. How dare we even
make that inference? But I'mgoing to go on the record saying
it's wrong between us, right anda few other people, I'm
guessing.
So what was supposed to be aprivate night of joy and music
already right there? Thatbothers me, because what we know
(11:02):
is that at leastone coworker or employee or
whatever is in the room, right?
And if it's a box for employers,or, you know, if it's a if it's
a box that astronomer bought, orhe bought, or whatever the
people he brought to that eventknow he's having an affair.
(11:26):
Clearly, the looks of everythingthis is not the first night they
have disclosed feelings for oneanother that that was very
intimate. I don't think myhusband has ever held me like
that at a concert. You know it'slike, I don't know. I think I
would be uncomfortable even in arelationship. That's a lot of
PDA for me. I know. Well, yeah,exactly. So
(11:50):
now should you necessarily beI don't know. Okay, so private.
Yeah, I thinkthat's drawing from this. It's
not new. It's not new.
Other people know it's not thatprivate, obviously, right?
(12:12):
Because we know other peopleknew about it.
What? What he was saying,however, is that nobody was
going to post it on socialmedia. That's essentially what
he was saying, private, privatemeaning my wife doesn't know
my family doesn't know my lifeto know this is happening
(12:33):
exactly so I I think we are allaware, though, or we should be
that in today's day and age, ifyou are outside, and frankly,
half the time, if you're inside,like right now, you know we're
online. What? Nothing's privateanymore.
(12:54):
You can't count on it. You canwalk down a street, you can go
into a store. You're beingrecorded.
So I don't knowwell, and I think that that kind
of comes back to the integritypiece, right? Like, I believe
that you should be willing toown up to anything you do at any
moment. Yeah, and yes, we allhave bad days. I'm not saying
(13:16):
that no one's ever mademistakes. I've made plenty.
Yeah, we all havelike that could get brought up
again, and that's, that's justlife, and with or without social
media, someone may find outabout the thing that you're
doing. And that's, I thinksocial media accelerates that
great Correct, correct if you'regoing to do something or say
(13:37):
something, be prepared that youmight have to answer for that
exactly. And I heard somebodytalking about something totally
different yesterday, but he wasmaking the comment that back in
the day,people used to like if you told
something about somebody behindtheir back, you know, you you
(13:59):
spread gossip or rumor orwhatever, it would eventually
get back to that person. Itwould take a long time, but then
it would be like, Hey, I'mmeeting you at the playground at
three o'clock, you know. And youcould essentially
escape or move away from yourbad reputation, because social
(14:24):
media wasn't around to followyou. If you you know if I do
something in Nebraska and then Imoved to California, nobody I
can reinvent myself. Nobodyknows in California what I did
in Nebraska. But with socialmedia, that's not the case
anymore. Everything we do is ondisplay,
and we can't leave, leave itokay. So,
(14:48):
so one of the things thatso okay was supposed to be a
night of music and joy. Okay? Hedidn't say,
he didn't say a pride.
At night of music and joy. Hejust said, what was supposed to
be a night of music and joyturned into a deeply personal
mistake. No, it already was amistake, right? The
(15:12):
mistake is that people know notmy actual actions, right? And a
mistake is like, oh my gosh, Igrabbed two different shoes,
right? That's a mistake. Igrabbed a black and brown pair.
A mistake is not, oh my gosh, Iaccidentally fell into this
affair with somebody. Oops. Thatsucks that that just happened.
(15:34):
You know, that's not a mistake.
Even an argument could be madeof like there was one action
that was inappropriate with theperson, that's a mistake, okay?
Like, there's an argument to bemade there, right? Something
ongoing, right? I You can't callthat a mistake. I don't want a
mistake, right? Exactly, okay,so then
(15:56):
what he says that bothers me is,I also want to express how
troubling it is that what shouldhave been a private moment
became public without myconsent.
So talk about that. I'm curiouswhat your thoughts are. Seeing
feelings there. I really do,because that statement by
(16:19):
itself, without the context ofwhat's happened. Okay, I see it.
I mean, I I look back at thingsthat even like my mom, well
meaning, has posted on Facebookwhen I was a kid, I'm like, Oh,
that's so embarrassing, youknow? Yeah, sure. So I get it
however.
We're talking about somethingthat was to an extent under his
(16:41):
control, not in that it wasposted, but in that you are in a
public place, doing things thatyou know that other people are
witnessing. I mean, you you knowthe world we live in. You know
that there are cameraseverywhere, especially at an
event like this, right? So Ijust don't know that there
really was a true reason to havean expectation of privacy there
(17:01):
i i agree. I agree.
And again, anybody could havebecause my guess is, and I'm
just speculating, I have no ideaif this is true or not, but my
guess is that there were photostaken within the box. They were
(17:23):
sharing. You know, there werethey were having fun, they were
together as a group. And that'swhat happens. And if that
happened, there's really nodifference than somebody
randomly in the crowd taking aphoto or video of the cam thing,
and somebody taking a photo andsharing it now the original
(17:47):
poster of this, so the personwho originally posted it. Do we
know who that is? I don't knowwho that is. No, no,
but they knew what they wereposting when they posted it. I
mean, let's be real. Goodintentions. There they're
(18:09):
sitting. No, they wanted a viralvideo. They wanted to show what
was going on, because it wasevident that these people were
probably having an affair. Ithink they probably just lucked
out.
I mean, they could have, whoknows it could have been an who
(18:32):
knows who it was, and if youknow that, I mean, there's so
much speculation there. Butregardless, they knew what they
were doing. To just remindeveryone we don't know any of
these people. No right sayingwhat we think. Yes, this is
totally opinion, totallyspeculation, and just being an
(18:52):
observer from the viral videos.
And that's part of the reasonwe're not posting the video
itself, because we don't want tocontribute to the you know what
went viral. But we want to talkabout just yeah, anyway, but
they knew what they were doing,and that, I don't think is very
ethical. I don't need Yeah,posting something about
(19:19):
right? That's not cool,but not like to the person who
originally posted it with theintention of it probably going
viral. I'm assuming that's theirintention, right? You know,
I, I don't think that there wasany way to couch that that makes
it a great idea. Mean, you'rehurting his family. You're
(19:42):
hurting the company. People thathave nothing to do with what
this decision was have not beennegatively affected. And I
That's unfortunate. It is veryunfortunate. It's very
unfortunate. And we know thathappens all the time. And then,
of course, the people thatcontinued to make it viral.
People were doing exactly thesame thing and and now, you
(20:05):
know, some of those viral videoshave information on them. Now I
know exactly who it is. Now Iknow what's, you know, and
there's it just added to thefire. The other thing that
happened though, that I thoughtwas really sad. And it's kind of
a commentary on social media andour world right now, because
(20:27):
when I saw that, I did notlaugh. I was so sad. I mean, and
my first thought was for hiswife. That was my first thought,
and and his kids, now that weknow he has kids,
and thinking, oh my gosh,how would you feel if that were
you be horrible. But the otherthing that I noticed, there were
(20:52):
a ton of jokes about this allover the place, and that, right?
And we have to remember thatwhen we post things on social
media, we're dealing with realpeople and real lives.
(21:14):
And I think one of the thingssocial media has done, and
again, I'm a huge fan of socialmedia in my own I mean, I use
it, we use it, obviously goingto be using it with this podcast
or YouTube. I mean, right,exactly. So it's not social
media in and of itself, butsocial media has allowed us to
(21:39):
really be able to bully or tolook at people
as fodder for us, asentertainment, interactions,
yeah, and then add it is reallybad. And so when you think about
so we come from the perspectiveof everyone has an intrinsic
(22:01):
value that cannot be changed,and we really do live that
when we do this on social media,we are literally dehumanizing
human beings when wewhen we do some of The things I
see politically or with moviestars or what you know people we
consider public personas,because we are so far removed
(22:27):
from it, that's not somebody weknow personally, or that's not
somebody we can connect with it.
It always does seem like this.
It's it's distant for us. And sowe can joke about these people.
We can make fun of them. We cando memes about them, and oh, but
(22:52):
we forget those are real peopleand with families, real people
whose lives have been devastatedby this. And I mean, I even
think of the CEO, while I don'tcondone his actions in the
slightest. I mean, I cannotstand cheating. I think it's
horrid. But like you said, Imean, back in the day, you could
move away, you can get away fromhis reputation. I don't know
(23:12):
what this is going to do for himlong term, because thinking,
like professionally, you've gotthis attached to your name now,
and even just, you know, familylife, friends, it doesn't matter
where they go, this is going tofollow them, and that's for him,
too. Because, I mean, he reallycould have some heart change
here and genuinely apologize andwant to do better, and this is
(23:34):
still attached to him. Yeah,exactly. You know, the other
thing that's really interesting.
I'll be interested to see whatthe company does and what
happens going forward.
Everybody. It's Stephanie Olsonhere, and I just wanted to pop
in with a quick edit, becausethe CEO of astronomer did step
(23:54):
down and resigned the next day.
So that is what happened?
Because, should someone be firedfor having an affair? Well, I
would suppose that depends onyour job. You know, if you're a
pastor of a church, probably ifyou've signed a code of conduct
(24:17):
that says you can't do somethinglike that in your personal life,
absolutely,you know, in our work,
we have a code of conduct, butcertainly
that would not be actionable,that you have a personal life. I
mean, certainly that would notbe actionable, but once it was
(24:39):
posted and again, this wasn'this decision, but once it was
posted, it now affected thecompany.
So publicity to his company,exactly. So what do you do then?
Like, what are your thoughts?
Such a tough spot, because I dobelieve.
(25:00):
And giving people grace. And Ibelieve that, no, we've all made
mistakes. Some are just morepublic than others, and so
you're right. I mean, there aresome jobs that I definitely
agree with you. You know, ifyou're, if you're a marriage
counselor and you're spouse,please don't be a marriage
counselor anymore like that.
Rethink some of the thingsyou're doing. All right?
Sometimes your personal lifedoes really play into what you
(25:20):
do professionally, yeah? Butother times it doesn't, and it's
so tricky because I can see bothsides. Yeah, I can see for him
that maybe he is, I don't knowanything about his professional
life, but maybe he's great atwhat he does. And sure, he's a
billionaire, he's probablypretty good at what he does,
yeah? But I can also see theother side in the company of
like, hey, you know people,people purchase and get involved
(25:44):
with companies based on if theycan feel a connection to them.
And it's not always based off ofthe product that they have,
right, right? Oftentimes, it'sbased off of the people. And so
I totally understand the companyside too. Of hey, people do not
want to be associated with usbecause of this. We need to
distance ourselves from thisaction, right? So tricky. Yeah,
(26:05):
it really is. So the otherquestion I had, and I said this
to my sister, should have justhad my sister join us, but one
of the things I said to her wasit, it really bothered me.
So the woman next to them in thevideo was laughing the whole
(26:28):
time it happened. Oh that. Oh mygod. And she apparently,
according to what I've heard,was a staff member of the woman,
so she worked for a while. Yes,yes. Rumor also has it she just
got a promotion. But I don'tknow if that's true or not.
(26:50):
I'm not sure, but I saidthat kind of made me sick that
she was laughing about it, andmy sister said this, and I
really, actually appreciated hersaying this. Well, in all
fairness, we don't know how wewould respond
(27:10):
if we were in her shoes andcomfortable laughter, but I
don't know how it to do withthis. Yes, when we are in a in a
situation where we're nervous,or where, oh my gosh, and, and
some people do, that's theresponse is to laugh, and
there's a nervous laughter. Isthat right? Oh my goodness. It's
(27:32):
so hard when I'm getting on toher, because she's just like,
cracking up sometimes, and Iknow she doesn't mean it. It's
just like, Oh crap. I know Imessed up. Yes. It's like, Oh,
yeah. So there are people thatdo that. I know exactly now at
the well, I don't know, whoknows if she's friends with
these people. If she's just,Hey, I just work for them. It's
(27:55):
none of my business. I Who knowsbut, but I do think that's fair,
that I think we do makejudgments about things or people
that we see. And it's reallyeasy to be the Monday morning
quarterback and say, Well, Iwould never respond like that,
when, in fact, we really don'tknow until it's you, yeah, it's
(28:18):
so hard. And then also peoplesaid, well, if they would have
just played it cool, nobodywould have known, because nobody
would have made it viral. I'msure they have friends,
you would think, butyeah, that would see that say,
oh, what's going on there? Well,and the other thing is,
(28:41):
we have a natural response tosituations like our natural
response. I mean, it's you gointo fight or flight, right?
Regardless of whether it's abear or
something or a camera. And so Ithink again, we don't know how
(29:01):
we would behave, but So havingsaid all that, let's unless you
want to say any more about thecold place, situation itself, I
want to talk about and we maymake this a two parter,
Because now I want to have theconversation about social media
(29:24):
and and what is,what is appropriate, what's not,
what should we watch out for?
What are the things that we Idon't know. It's just, I think
that was a shining light thatwas a shining light on what can
happen.
(29:45):
You know, I, I think thisconversation is twofold, right?
Because it's whatwhat might other people post,
versus what might you post? Andthose might not be the same
things, but there's definitelythings to.
Consider everybody jumping inwith edit number two. Join us
(30:06):
next week for part two of thispodcast. We're going to continue
the conversation with socialmedia and privacy. You.
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