The Power of a Small Gesture - Resilience in Life and Leadership Episode 059

402-521-3080

In this heartfelt episode, Stephanie Olson reflects on the profound impact of small, kind gestures in everyday life. Sharing a personal story about a chance encounter with a discouraged elderly man, Stephanie explores how a simple smile, a kind word, or a moment of encouragement can transform someone's day—and perhaps even their life. Drawing from personal experiences and a touching story about the power of friendship, she challenges listeners to be intentional about spreading kindness, expressing gratitude, and uplifting those around them. Tune in for an inspiring reminder of the extraordinary difference we can make through ordinary acts of compassion.

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Everyone has resilience, but what does that mean, and how do we use it in life and leadership? Join Stephanie Olson, an expert in resiliency and trauma, every week as she talks to other experts living lives of resilience. Stephanie also shares her own stories of addictions, disordered eating, domestic and sexual violence, abandonment, and trauma, and shares the everyday struggles and joys of everyday life. As a wife, mom, and CEO she gives commentaries and, sometimes, a few rants to shed light on what makes a person resilient. So, if you have experienced adversity in life in any way and want to learn how to better lead your family, your workplace, and, well, your life, this podcast is for you!

https://setmefreeproject.net

https://www.stephanieolson.com/

Episode Transcript

Stephanie Olson (00:00):
Welcome to resilience in life and

(00:02):
leadership with your host,Stephanie Olson, CEO speaker,
author and sexual violence andaddiction expert, we're glad
you're here. Hi, I'm StephanieOlson, so glad to be here with
you today. I want to talk aboutsomething that really struck me

(00:22):
the other day, that sometimes weget so busy and so in our own
head that we don't notice thelittle things, and sometimes
it's the little things that canmake a huge difference in
someone's life, and that someonecould be us at any given point.

(00:44):
I was walking into a restaurantthe other day. I was meeting my
mom for breakfast, and and I wasrunning late as usual, and so
she and a friend were alreadythere, and as I walked in, this
older gentleman was walking outat the same time, and he looked
a little discouraged. He lookeda little, I don't know, not not

(01:08):
upset, but just justdiscouraged. And so I said, Hi,
how are you now? I would havenormally done that, and I'm I'm
normally a pretty friendlyperson I like to think, and that
sounds weird to say, as I say itout loud, because hopefully most
of us are nice. Hello, now andthen is not a lot of work. But

(01:35):
he looked at me and actuallysaid, you know, I'm not doing
okay today. I don't feel verygood. I'm I'm just not having
the best day. And you know what?
I'm 95 years old, and thatactually took me back a little
bit, because he didn't look 95and I made a shocked face. I

(01:58):
don't know what a shocked facelooks like, but I made a shocked
face. And he said, Wow. Well,the fact that you are surprised
by that actually makes me feelgood. And I said, it should, and
you should also feel great,because you're amazing. I have
in this short amount of timethat I've gotten to know you,

(02:22):
which isn't a lot, granted, Ithink you're a great person, and
I am just thankful that you arehere. I know that sounds weird,
but it felt right at the time,and he thanked me profusely and
said he was so glad he ran intome and that he was going to have

(02:45):
a good day. Now I want to tellyou. I'm not telling you this
because I want a pat on the backor I did anything that great.
I'm saying it because I thinksometimes we can do things that
are extremely profound insomeone's life, and we don't
even recognize that we made adifference, but you did. We can

(03:10):
make a difference in somebody'slife simply by smiling, simply
by saying hello. It does nottake a lot of effort to be a
kind person, to be a friendlyperson. And I don't know if
you've ever watched and Anna,I'm not recommending them, but

(03:34):
if you've ever watched any ofthose, what they call the Karen
videos, or crazy Karen videos. Ihate that, because I know
amazing Karens, and so I justwant to go on the record and say
all of the Karens I know areincredible, but they have these
videos that show these peoplejust getting unhinged about the

(03:55):
littlest things. And I think,wow, that's got to be so
painful. It. It's got to be sopainful to not be able to go
somewhere and just see the goodin things or, or to be able to
smile at somebody or or letsomething roll off your your

(04:17):
back, because you know what?
Somebody might be having a badday. Now, I'm not perfect at it,
and I will tell you firsthandthat I have had my share of of
not being kind and not beingnice and not being the one who

(04:43):
can lend encouragement. I thinkwe have all been there, but that
day was really profound to me,because not only could I tell he
was discouraged, but then. Hetold me he was and my little

(05:04):
interaction with him tiny madehim feel better. And that's
that's a really cool thing. I dohave this goal, and again, I'm
not always good at this, but Iwant people, when they leave my

(05:27):
presence, to feel better aboutthemselves when they enter my
presence, I will tell you I usedto be a pretty miserable person,
and that is just the truth. Iwas not a happy person with
myself. I was I had no faith tospeak of, which I think, and I

(05:51):
only say that to say that hasenhanced my ability to have joy
in my life, but I wanted peopleto feel crappy because I felt
crappy. And I know that's athing. I know that other people
have have experienced that havefelt that, and what I will tell

(06:12):
you is that is a miserable wayto live. I've seen people
consumed by bitterness. I haveseen people consumed by wanting
to get revenge. It is literallylife sucking and it kills you. I

(06:33):
mean, truly it does. And so Iwould just encourage you to
reflect on the amazing thingsthat you have. And you know, I
guess that would be like agratitude list. I'm not even
asking you to do a gratitudelist, but I think sometimes

(06:58):
being able to reflect on thethings that, well, we're
grateful for. Okay, that mightbe a gratitude list, but
reflecting on those things andsaying, Yeah, I'm just so
grateful for this and the thismight be, I'm grateful I woke up
this morning that this might beI'm grateful I have milk in my

(07:21):
fridge, albeit almond milk, andI'm grateful I'm grateful for
the people that love and supportme. So what are you grateful
for? What can you do to makesomeone's day. You may not know

(07:44):
that you did. It may not be asobvious as this gentleman who
told me that that he felt betterbecause of an encounter with me.
You may not know that ever, butI bet it does, and I know when
somebody smiles at me, it makesmy day, or at least it makes my

(08:10):
moment. It makes me feel good inthe moment when somebody smiles
at me, when somebody is genuine,when they tell me to have a good
day when somebody says somethingto to uplift me. And I think it
can be as simple. I was thinkingabout this the other day too. Do

(08:31):
you tell the people around youthat you love them, or that
they're doing a good job, thatthey're special to you, or they
mean something to you, that theyhave value worth. If you're an
employer, do you tell youremployees, great job now, I

(08:55):
mean, maybe if they didn't you,you know, don't say it in that
moment. But are we? Are westingy with our compliments?
People really do want to beaccepted, they want to feel
good. They want to know they'vedone something well. So share.

(09:16):
Be generous with yourcompliments. Be generous with
the things that you give I knowI am totally rambling right now,
but this is just what is on myheart, that if you see someone
who looks amazing, tell them if,if you heard an incredible

(09:36):
speaker, let them know thatthey're a great speaker. If if
you hear somebody do somethingtalented, play the piano, sing
or dance or whatever, don'thesitate to let them know that
you thought they were amazing. Ithink sometimes we hold back

(09:59):
compliments. Because we thinkthey know they already know
they're amazing, or else theywouldn't be doing it. That's not
always true, and so people needto hear when they've done
something well, or when youappreciate them. People need to
know that they're important toyou. So those are my ramblings.

(10:22):
All started with a guy in arestaurant who looked
discouraged, who happened to be95 years old and needed a little
pick me up. My challenge to youis this week, find something
good in as many people as youcan, and then tell them, tell

(10:48):
them what's good. I want to reada story to you, and I think it's
a really important one, and I'mgoing to put on my really cool
glasses that I love, but theygive me the ring lights, so I
did take them off so youwouldn't have to be distracted
if you're watching and not justlistening. But here we go. Let
me read this story. One day whenI was a freshman in high school,

(11:11):
I saw a kid from my class waswalking home from school. His
name was Kyle, and it lookedlike he was carrying all of his
books. And I thought to myself,why would anyone bring home all
of his books on a Friday? Hemust be a nerd. I had quite a
weekend planned parties and afootball game with my friends

(11:31):
tomorrow afternoon, so Ishrugged my Stolt shoulders and
went on as I was walking, I sawa bunch of kids running toward
him, and they ran at him,knocking all his books out of
his arms and tripping him. So helanded in the dirt. His glasses
went flying, and I saw them landin the grass about 10 feet in
front of him. He looked up, andI saw this terrible sadness in

(11:55):
his eyes, and my heart went outto him, so I jogged over to him,
and as he crawled around lookingfor his glasses. I saw a tear in
his eye as I handed him hisglasses. I said, those guys are
jerks, and they should reallyget lives. He looked at me and
said, hey, thanks. There was abig smile on his face. It was

(12:16):
one of those smiles that showedreal gratitude. I helped him
pick up his books and asked himwhere he lived, and as it turned
out, he lived near me. So Iasked him why I'd never seen him
before, and he had said he hadgone to a private school before.
Now, I would have never hung outwith a private school kid
before. We talked all the wayhome and I carried some of his

(12:39):
books. He turned out to be apretty cool kid. I asked him if
he wanted to play a littlefootball with my friends, and he
said, Yes. We hung out allweekend, and the more I got to
know Kyle, the more I liked himand my friends thought the same
of him. Monday morning came andthere was a there was Kyle with
a huge stack of books. Again. Istopped him and said, boy, you

(13:01):
are gonna really build someserious muscles with this pile
of books every day. And he justlaughed and handed me half the
books. Over the next four years,Kyle and I became best friends,
and when we were seniors, webegan to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and Iwas going to Duke and I knew

(13:22):
that we would always be friendsand that the miles would never
be a problem. He was going to bea doctor, and I was going for
business on a footballscholarship. Kyle was
valedictorian of our class. Iteased him all the time about
being a nerd. He had to preparea speech for graduation. I was
so glad it wasn't me having toget up there and speak.

(13:43):
Graduation day, I saw Kyle, andhe looked great. He was one of
those guys that really foundhimself during high school. He
filled out and actually lookedgood in glasses, and he had more
dates than I had, and all thegirls loved him. Boys, sometimes
I was jealous. Today was one ofthose days. I could see he was

(14:04):
nervous about his speech, so Ismacked him on the back and
said, Hey, big guy, you'll begreat. He looked at me with one
of those looks, the reallygrateful one, and smiled,
thanks. He said, as he startedhis speech, he cleared his
throat and began, graduation isa time to thank those who helped
you make it through those toughyears, your parents, your

(14:26):
teachers, your siblings may be acoach, but mostly your friends.
And I am here to tell all of youthat being a friend to someone
is the best gift you can givethem. I'm going to tell you a
story. I just looked at myfriend with disbelief as he told
the story of the first day wemet. He had planned to take his

(14:46):
life over the weekend. He talkedof how he had cleaned out his
locker so his mom wouldn't haveto do it later, and was carrying
his stuff home. He looked hardat me and gave me a little
smile. Thankfully I was. Savedmy friend, saved me from doing
the unspeakable. I heard theGasp go through the crowd as

(15:07):
this handsome, popular boy toldus all about his weakest moment.
I saw his mom and dad looking atme and smiling that same
grateful smile. Not until thatmoment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power ofyour actions. With one small
gesture, you can change aperson's life. So my challenge

(15:31):
to you today is, be that person,be that kindness, be that great
interrupter and change aperson's life. Now you may never
know, like in this story, thatyou did change somebody's life,
but I guarantee if you do itenough times, you will thanks

(15:55):
for hanging out with me. We'llsee you next time. Thanks for
tuning in. We hope you enjoyedit. Please share freely. You.