November 13, 2024 • 15 mins
Feeling overwhelmed by the holiday hustle and political chatter? Discover how to maintain your sanity and serenity as we navigate the emotional rollercoaster brought on by this election cycle. This episode is your guide to maintaining balance amidst the chaos, highlighting the emotional impact of political events and the holiday season on our mental well-being. Learn practical tips for managing stress, from stepping back from endless election coverage to seeking diverse news sources, and find your grounding through mindfulness and yoga. We'll also explore the challenges of the two-party system and how to handle those potentially heated political discussions at family gatherings with grace and presence.
Set the stage for a more peaceful holiday season by establishing personal boundaries and engaging in meaningful self-care. We dive into the significance of respecting your own limits while nurturing positivity through cherished holiday traditions and relationships. Whether it's spending quality time with loved ones, indulging in hobbies, or maintaining social connections, these activities are vital for your well-being.
Freed AI converts conversations into SOAP note.Use code Steve50 for $50 off the 1st month!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy
.
A proud member of thePsychCraft Network, the goal of
this podcast is to demystifytherapy, what can happen in
therapy and the wide array ofconversations you can have in
and about therapy Throughpersonal experiences.
Guests will talk about therapy,their experiences with it and
(00:24):
how psychology and therapy arepresent in many places in their
lives, with lots of authenticityand a touch of humor.
Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Hello Santana, if you're fine.
It is the holiday season comingup and welcome to Finding your
Way Through Therapy.
This is episode 178.
Episode 177 was with MegApplegate.
It's the holiday season comingup and welcome to finding your
way through therapy.
This episode one 78.
Episode one 77 was with MegApplegate.
If you haven't listened to it,I promise you you want to listen
to it because it talked aboutthe troubled teen industry.
I will probably have Meg againif I can, because there's so
(00:57):
many things that she discussedthat I thought was fascinating
and too little time in order todo so.
But episode one 78 is.
I promise we're going to talkabout the holidays, but let me
talk about politics for a second, and what I mean by that is the
election.
I was thinking you know I'mrecording this about Sunday.
Originally, I thought it wasgoing to take three, four days
to get the results because theywere talking about being so
(01:19):
close, but it was decided on thesame well, not quite the same
night, right Wednesday morning,I guess, technically and Donald
Trump was elected as the nextpresident, and I know a lot of
people were frustrated with someof that, including people who
are in the camp of the KamalaHarris, and you know, one of the
things I want to talk about,before I talk about the stress
(01:40):
of the holidays, I want to talkabout the stress of the
elections.
One of the things I said to alot of my clients is that please
don't consume anything inregards to the election
regularly.
And what I mean by that is stayaway from social media.
The algorithm will get youwhatever you want to hear.
And if you do listen to newsreports, try to vary where
(02:01):
you're going to get yourinformation and not go with only
one source.
And I also don't recommend todo the big American news
stations, but rather be a littlemore curious about the
outsiders, to be a little moreneutral and I know there's no
such thing as neutral, butcertainly look into that.
But yes, I think that with a lotof the stuff that happened with
the election, a lot of peoplewere frustrated, a lot of people
(02:24):
were very happy, and nowthere's fears and then there's
concerns, and then there's angerand some elation and bragging
rights, right Cause that allcomes with elections.
Find a balance, you know, Ireally think it's going to be
key, and what I mean by findinga balance is that don't consume
all the social media, you candon't consume all the news and
right now, you know, we onlyknow what's going to happen
(02:47):
today, tomorrow.
I don't know what's going tohappen on January 27, 2025.
Yet, and don't speculate.
And I know that some peoplehave said, well, they're sitting
going to do this, they'resitting going to do that, and
some people are very excitedabout that, some people are very
concerned about it, and I tellyou, well, nothing's happened
(03:08):
yet and that's what I kind ofremind a lot of people.
You're going to say that I'mkind of selling out a little bit
about how I feel.
I'm not saying exactly how Ifeel because, frankly, I think
that if you want, in my opinion,I will give it to you, but I
won't do it on a podcast, I willdo it privately.
Send me a message.
There's a way just to go, toclick on the message in whatever
you're listening to Spotify,apple podcasts, youtube,
(03:30):
whatever just go, click and sendme a message.
I'll tell you my point of view.
But ultimately, my point ofview is there's always going to
be a winner and a loser, becausethere's only a two party system
.
I'm a big fan of a third partyand I know that a lot of people
say oh, that's because you're aCanadian, I'm American.
Now I vote in this election.
I am legally an American, incase anyone wonders, and I still
think that two party systemsare just made to do that to push
(03:51):
one against the other, and thatprobably will come up during
the holidays.
So what I'd like to do is foryou guys to listen to this
important message from freeaiand then I'll come back on the
other side, getfreeai yes,you've heard me talk about it
(04:13):
previously in other episodes,but I'm going to talk about it
again because getfreeai is justa great service.
Imagine being able to payattention to your clients all
the time, instead of writingnotes and making sure that the
notes gonna sound good and howare you gonna write that note,
and things like that.
Getfreeai liberates you frommaking sure that you're writing
(04:34):
what the client is saying,because it is keeping track of
what you're saying and willcreate, after the end of every
session, a progress note.
But it goes above and beyondthat.
Not only does it create aprogress note, it also gives you
suggestions for goals, givesyou even a mental status if
you've asked questions aroundthat, as well as being able to
(04:55):
write a letter for your clientto know what you talked about.
So that's the great great thing.
It saves me time, it saves me alot of aggravation and it just
speeds up the progress noteprocess so well.
And for $99 a month.
I know that that's nothingthat's worth my time.
That's where my money you know.
(05:17):
The best part of it, too, isthat if you want to go and put
in the code Steve50 when you getthe service at the checkout
code is Steve50, you get $50 offyour first month and if you get
a whole year, you save a whole10% for the whole year.
So again, steve50 at checkoutfor getfreeai will get you $50
(05:38):
off for the first month and,like I said, get a full year,
get 10% off, get free fromwriting notes, get free from
always scribbling while you'retalking to a client and just
paying attention to your clients.
So they win out, you win out,everybody wins, and I think that
this is the greatest thing.
And if you're up to a pointwhere you got to change a
treatment plan, well, the goalsare generated for you.
(06:00):
So, getfreeai code Steve 50 tosave $50 on your first month.
Welcome back.
And when we talk about so peopleare going to be unhappy.
Some people are going to behappy and they're going to don't
want to talk about the holidays.
Some people want to talk aboutit.
(06:21):
Point being is that limit it.
You know, one of the things isthat, like I said, when there's
only a two party system, there'sa winner and a loser.
And I know that people will say, well, there's other parties,
yeah, but they're not pushed thesame.
And both sides in the UnitedStates have made it clear that
they don't want a third party.
And if you don't know why theyfeel that way, just look at what
(06:43):
happened with Bernie Sanders inthe primaries in 2008, or not
2008, 2016.
I'm sorry, but anyway I digress.
My being is we're not in asystem where we're going to be
able to agree and it's alwaysgoing to be us versus them.
And I think that that's thecraziest thing, because we're
all Americans and I know you'regoing to say it's a cop out
(07:03):
again, but no, the truth iswe're all Americans.
I want what's best for thiscountry, just like most
Americans that I know.
I don't think of any Americansactually that don't want that,
but I don't want to put everyonein the same because I don't do
all or nothing, thinking, haha,kind of distortions, but
distortions, but you know,learning to walk away and not
(07:24):
let you know emotional reasoningbe what you see.
So if you're very happy andthat's all you're going to be,
then yeah, that's notnecessarily everything's going
to be happy.
Or hunky dory, if yourcandidate one, and if you're
very, very sad, that doesn'tmean things will always be sad
or angry, or you can be angry,which is fine too, but you're
not going to be angry and sad.
Necessarily.
It's not going to always be allor nothing.
And if you're embracing the allor nothing, you're going to
have trouble embracing theholidays because the holidays is
(07:46):
very difficult, right?
So I'm going to talk about theholidays Now.
I'm done talking about politicsAgain.
I just get sick of it personallyand I really think that we need
to acknowledge that some peoplestruggle with the holidays not
only because of the politics butother stuff.
So if you had someone whopassed away recently, in the
last year, this is the firstholidays without them and that
hurts, and acknowledge that inthe way that you know, it hurts,
(08:10):
it's upsetting, whatever thecase may be, and realize that
maybe you can develop newtraditions and there's ways to
deal with that.
So you know, for some peopleit's starting a new tradition of
doing it at a different house,or people bringing their own
dishes, or being able to do anactivity that you don't
typically do go drive around andfind the lights in the area, or
(08:30):
visiting other people as adifferent coping mechanism.
But the point is is that, youknow, bring your whole range of
emotions, be okay with feelingthe way you do and also realize
that this, too, shall pass.
It's not going to last foreverand if you again getting someone
you passed away and you want tostart these new tradition,
it'll help.
You feel like you've changed it.
You've never forgotten aboutthat person.
(08:52):
That's something I got toremind you is that you won't
forget about that person.
It's always going to be thereand some years are going to be
harder and some years are goingto be easier.
But realizing that change maybethe tradition will also make it
easier and keep them in mind,whether it's also like I know, a
client of mine goes to aparticular church and lights
candles in the memory of thepeople who passed away around
(09:13):
the holidays, whether it'saround Christmas, whether it's
Thanksgiving, whether it's thenew year, but it's very
important to do so and alsorealizing that self-care also
means setting boundaries.
And what I mean by that is I'mgoing to get probably a few
invites.
I'm not that social, actually,frankly, but I'm going to get a
few invites to different holidaygatherings in the next few
(09:33):
weeks, and there's some of themI will want to go, excitingly,
and others I don't want to go.
And I got to respect thatbecause, you know, I know myself
I can socialize a couple oftimes a week, but I get really
overwhelmed after a while.
Most people think of me assomeone who's extroverted
because of my job.
You obviously hear me on thispodcast.
It can be very loud, but I'mactually a little bit of both
(09:54):
and I love being able to meetpeople.
I enjoy that time, but I'm notalways able to recharge my
batteries if I don't get achance.
So I want to do that.
So I'm going to set someboundaries myself and I, you
know, tell people you don't wantto.
You want to do certain things.
The other part of settingboundaries is not talking about
certain things.
Yeah, we talked about politicsearlier, but it's also kind of
like other stuff about.
(10:15):
You know, some people want totalk about people who passed
away and others don't, andthat's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
It's just realizing what yourboundaries are and making sure
you respect them, and thatdoesn't mean you take it out on
other people.
So I've seen people say here'smy boundary.
You better listen.
And that's not how that works.
And boundary is like it's foryou and if you got to walk away,
you walk away.
(10:36):
And if people get upset, thenthey get upset, but you don't
need to always like push it onpeople, so to speak.
Your boundaries are yours.
You don't need to explain it topeople, pardon me.
You just have to be able toshare them if you need to, but
otherwise just send them and beokay with steering away
conversations that are toodifficult for you, which leads
to self-care.
So again, I talked about mebeing much more of a introvert
(10:58):
than most people believe.
So you know, I'm not going toset up five things in a five day
period.
I'm going to set up one or twoand then I'm going to do some
self-care.
You know, doing things I enjoy,honestly, it's like taking a
night off and watching somesomething on TV, usually a
sports event or going away withmy kids for a night or two just
to have fun, or even doingsomething just with them, not in
(11:20):
the crowds, but rather just meand them, because it's fun,
whether we're, you know,decorating the tree, cause again
, we celebrate Christmas.
You don't have to celebratechristmas, but we do are
rearranging a little bit of theliving room in order to make
that work, or try some newthings.
But I also need to find ways totake care of myself, and that's
good sleep, eating regularlyand making sure you get all the
(11:42):
rest that you need, and stayingconnected with the people you
care for.
So you know like it's easy toisolate because you're so
overwhelmed.
But you know I have a fewfriends that I count on.
They know who they are.
I've talked about some of themthat are up in Canada, and I
have a few friends out here toothat are just people I connect
with and I care for and I wantto continue connecting with them
just to keep my wellbeing, andsometimes that's hard, but I
(12:06):
make time for them and that'sabsolutely important to do.
And focusing on the positive,what are the good things that
happen in the holidays?
You know, while you canconcentrate on the idiots at the
mall cutting you off or takingyour parking spot or what have
you.
You can, also your kids.
Are you having a good time?
You know, like I know peoplelove that Black Friday shopping.
(12:27):
I can't imagine doing that, butpeople like that, people like
to have those gatherings ofcutting down the tree.
We used to do that, me and thegirls, my daughters and we don't
do that anymore.
We have a nice fake tree thatwe actually like.
So, but finding those thingsthat you enjoy and focus on
those positives, because whenyou're cutting down the tree,
you're putting it in the house.
(12:47):
You're doing it together.
Cleaning out the tree, you'reputting it in the house you're
doing together, cleaning out theneedles, laughing about maybe
dropping an ornament, not losingyour crap about it, and
thinking about how you'rebuilding your relationship with
others by doing these fun things.
Uh, there's a shrine not farfrom my house and they put out
the Christmas lights, I think,and again, you can celebrate
whatever you want, not pushingChristmas.
They'll put up the lightsprobably around Thanksgiving,
(13:10):
probably a little before that,and then walking around there
with my kids is just fun.
I remember pushing them in astroller doing that, and now
they're old enough, they'reolder and they walk with me and
we have a great time.
And if all things break down,you can't do it, seek
professional help.
Obviously, you know thatfinding your way through therapy
is also talking about having atherapist.
(13:32):
I'm a big fan of having atherapist, I know.
You know I have one, and I havepeople who come in every six
months, every three months,every year, whatever the case
may be, and that's fine with me.
But sometimes, you know, I havepeople like, hey, I'm having a
hard time, can I come back for afew sessions, or the holidays
are difficult or somethinghappened or whatever.
So hopefully you have someonelike that.
If not, seek professional helpin the sense that people can
(13:52):
help you in managing youranxiety, managing your stress,
and sometimes it's also venting.
People don't think abouttherapy as a venting thing, but
coming in and just having to saywhat the hell you want to say,
I let people just yell, scream,cry, whatever they need to do in
order to feel comfortable.
So those are the things I wouldrecommend.
(14:12):
And if you have like some sortof you know you journal, you do
some mindfulness, you do somemeditation, you do some stuff
like that, go ahead and continuedoing that.
Yoga is a great one too, butfind those things that you can
do so that it can reduce thestress that you have.
But I do hope this was helpfuland obviously you'll see in the
show notes a little bit of thesetricks and if you want extra
(14:34):
tricks, just write me a textthrough any platform you're
using right now and I'lldefinitely help you out.
But this concludes episode 178,but episode 179 is going to be
with someone that you know I gotconnected with through.
It was interesting.
They connected with me viaFacebook and her name is Erica
Curry.
I think she has a great story.
(14:55):
We're going to talk aboutworking with professional
athletes, among other things,but also DBT and how that can
help everyone, not just quoteborderline personality disorder.
So I hope you join me.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Please like, subscribe and follow this
podcast on your favoriteplatform, so I hope you join me
then for consultation.
If you are in a mental healthcrisis, call 988 for assistance.
This number is available in theUnited States and Canada.
Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy
.
A proud member of thePsychCraft Network, the goal of
this podcast is to demystifytherapy, what can happen in
therapy and the wide array ofconversations you can have in
and about therapy Throughpersonal experiences.
Guests will talk about therapy,their experiences with it and
(00:24):
how psychology and therapy arepresent in many places in their
lives, with lots of authenticityand a touch of humor.
Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Hello Santana, if you're fine.
It is the holiday season comingup and welcome to Finding your
Way Through Therapy.
This is episode 178.
Episode 177 was with MegApplegate.
It's the holiday season comingup and welcome to finding your
way through therapy.
This episode one 78.
Episode one 77 was with MegApplegate.
If you haven't listened to it,I promise you you want to listen
to it because it talked aboutthe troubled teen industry.
I will probably have Meg againif I can, because there's so
(00:57):
many things that she discussedthat I thought was fascinating
and too little time in order todo so.
But episode one 78 is.
I promise we're going to talkabout the holidays, but let me
talk about politics for a second, and what I mean by that is the
election.
I was thinking you know I'mrecording this about Sunday.
Originally, I thought it wasgoing to take three, four days
to get the results because theywere talking about being so
(01:19):
close, but it was decided on thesame well, not quite the same
night, right Wednesday morning,I guess, technically and Donald
Trump was elected as the nextpresident, and I know a lot of
people were frustrated with someof that, including people who
are in the camp of the KamalaHarris, and you know, one of the
things I want to talk about,before I talk about the stress
(01:40):
of the holidays, I want to talkabout the stress of the
elections.
One of the things I said to alot of my clients is that please
don't consume anything inregards to the election
regularly.
And what I mean by that is stayaway from social media.
The algorithm will get youwhatever you want to hear.
And if you do listen to newsreports, try to vary where
(02:01):
you're going to get yourinformation and not go with only
one source.
And I also don't recommend todo the big American news
stations, but rather be a littlemore curious about the
outsiders, to be a little moreneutral and I know there's no
such thing as neutral, butcertainly look into that.
But yes, I think that with a lotof the stuff that happened with
the election, a lot of peoplewere frustrated, a lot of people
(02:24):
were very happy, and nowthere's fears and then there's
concerns, and then there's angerand some elation and bragging
rights, right Cause that allcomes with elections.
Find a balance, you know, Ireally think it's going to be
key, and what I mean by findinga balance is that don't consume
all the social media, you candon't consume all the news and
right now, you know, we onlyknow what's going to happen
(02:47):
today, tomorrow.
I don't know what's going tohappen on January 27, 2025.
Yet, and don't speculate.
And I know that some peoplehave said, well, they're sitting
going to do this, they'resitting going to do that, and
some people are very excitedabout that, some people are very
concerned about it, and I tellyou, well, nothing's happened
(03:08):
yet and that's what I kind ofremind a lot of people.
You're going to say that I'mkind of selling out a little bit
about how I feel.
I'm not saying exactly how Ifeel because, frankly, I think
that if you want, in my opinion,I will give it to you, but I
won't do it on a podcast, I willdo it privately.
Send me a message.
There's a way just to go, toclick on the message in whatever
you're listening to Spotify,apple podcasts, youtube,
(03:30):
whatever just go, click and sendme a message.
I'll tell you my point of view.
But ultimately, my point ofview is there's always going to
be a winner and a loser, becausethere's only a two party system
.
I'm a big fan of a third partyand I know that a lot of people
say oh, that's because you're aCanadian, I'm American.
Now I vote in this election.
I am legally an American, incase anyone wonders, and I still
think that two party systemsare just made to do that to push
(03:51):
one against the other, and thatprobably will come up during
the holidays.
So what I'd like to do is foryou guys to listen to this
important message from freeaiand then I'll come back on the
other side, getfreeai yes,you've heard me talk about it
(04:13):
previously in other episodes,but I'm going to talk about it
again because getfreeai is justa great service.
Imagine being able to payattention to your clients all
the time, instead of writingnotes and making sure that the
notes gonna sound good and howare you gonna write that note,
and things like that.
Getfreeai liberates you frommaking sure that you're writing
(04:34):
what the client is saying,because it is keeping track of
what you're saying and willcreate, after the end of every
session, a progress note.
But it goes above and beyondthat.
Not only does it create aprogress note, it also gives you
suggestions for goals, givesyou even a mental status if
you've asked questions aroundthat, as well as being able to
(04:55):
write a letter for your clientto know what you talked about.
So that's the great great thing.
It saves me time, it saves me alot of aggravation and it just
speeds up the progress noteprocess so well.
And for $99 a month.
I know that that's nothingthat's worth my time.
That's where my money you know.
(05:17):
The best part of it, too, isthat if you want to go and put
in the code Steve50 when you getthe service at the checkout
code is Steve50, you get $50 offyour first month and if you get
a whole year, you save a whole10% for the whole year.
So again, steve50 at checkoutfor getfreeai will get you $50
(05:38):
off for the first month and,like I said, get a full year,
get 10% off, get free fromwriting notes, get free from
always scribbling while you'retalking to a client and just
paying attention to your clients.
So they win out, you win out,everybody wins, and I think that
this is the greatest thing.
And if you're up to a pointwhere you got to change a
treatment plan, well, the goalsare generated for you.
(06:00):
So, getfreeai code Steve 50 tosave $50 on your first month.
Welcome back.
And when we talk about so peopleare going to be unhappy.
Some people are going to behappy and they're going to don't
want to talk about the holidays.
Some people want to talk aboutit.
(06:21):
Point being is that limit it.
You know, one of the things isthat, like I said, when there's
only a two party system, there'sa winner and a loser.
And I know that people will say, well, there's other parties,
yeah, but they're not pushed thesame.
And both sides in the UnitedStates have made it clear that
they don't want a third party.
And if you don't know why theyfeel that way, just look at what
(06:43):
happened with Bernie Sanders inthe primaries in 2008, or not
2008, 2016.
I'm sorry, but anyway I digress.
My being is we're not in asystem where we're going to be
able to agree and it's alwaysgoing to be us versus them.
And I think that that's thecraziest thing, because we're
all Americans and I know you'regoing to say it's a cop out
(07:03):
again, but no, the truth iswe're all Americans.
I want what's best for thiscountry, just like most
Americans that I know.
I don't think of any Americansactually that don't want that,
but I don't want to put everyonein the same because I don't do
all or nothing, thinking, haha,kind of distortions, but
distortions, but you know,learning to walk away and not
(07:24):
let you know emotional reasoningbe what you see.
So if you're very happy andthat's all you're going to be,
then yeah, that's notnecessarily everything's going
to be happy.
Or hunky dory, if yourcandidate one, and if you're
very, very sad, that doesn'tmean things will always be sad
or angry, or you can be angry,which is fine too, but you're
not going to be angry and sad.
Necessarily.
It's not going to always be allor nothing.
And if you're embracing the allor nothing, you're going to
have trouble embracing theholidays because the holidays is
(07:46):
very difficult, right?
So I'm going to talk about theholidays Now.
I'm done talking about politicsAgain.
I just get sick of it personallyand I really think that we need
to acknowledge that some peoplestruggle with the holidays not
only because of the politics butother stuff.
So if you had someone whopassed away recently, in the
last year, this is the firstholidays without them and that
hurts, and acknowledge that inthe way that you know, it hurts,
(08:10):
it's upsetting, whatever thecase may be, and realize that
maybe you can develop newtraditions and there's ways to
deal with that.
So you know, for some peopleit's starting a new tradition of
doing it at a different house,or people bringing their own
dishes, or being able to do anactivity that you don't
typically do go drive around andfind the lights in the area, or
(08:30):
visiting other people as adifferent coping mechanism.
But the point is is that, youknow, bring your whole range of
emotions, be okay with feelingthe way you do and also realize
that this, too, shall pass.
It's not going to last foreverand if you again getting someone
you passed away and you want tostart these new tradition,
it'll help.
You feel like you've changed it.
You've never forgotten aboutthat person.
(08:52):
That's something I got toremind you is that you won't
forget about that person.
It's always going to be thereand some years are going to be
harder and some years are goingto be easier.
But realizing that change maybethe tradition will also make it
easier and keep them in mind,whether it's also like I know, a
client of mine goes to aparticular church and lights
candles in the memory of thepeople who passed away around
(09:13):
the holidays, whether it'saround Christmas, whether it's
Thanksgiving, whether it's thenew year, but it's very
important to do so and alsorealizing that self-care also
means setting boundaries.
And what I mean by that is I'mgoing to get probably a few
invites.
I'm not that social, actually,frankly, but I'm going to get a
few invites to different holidaygatherings in the next few
(09:33):
weeks, and there's some of themI will want to go, excitingly,
and others I don't want to go.
And I got to respect thatbecause, you know, I know myself
I can socialize a couple oftimes a week, but I get really
overwhelmed after a while.
Most people think of me assomeone who's extroverted
because of my job.
You obviously hear me on thispodcast.
It can be very loud, but I'mactually a little bit of both
(09:54):
and I love being able to meetpeople.
I enjoy that time, but I'm notalways able to recharge my
batteries if I don't get achance.
So I want to do that.
So I'm going to set someboundaries myself and I, you
know, tell people you don't wantto.
You want to do certain things.
The other part of settingboundaries is not talking about
certain things.
Yeah, we talked about politicsearlier, but it's also kind of
like other stuff about.
(10:15):
You know, some people want totalk about people who passed
away and others don't, andthat's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
It's just realizing what yourboundaries are and making sure
you respect them, and thatdoesn't mean you take it out on
other people.
So I've seen people say here'smy boundary.
You better listen.
And that's not how that works.
And boundary is like it's foryou and if you got to walk away,
you walk away.
(10:36):
And if people get upset, thenthey get upset, but you don't
need to always like push it onpeople, so to speak.
Your boundaries are yours.
You don't need to explain it topeople, pardon me.
You just have to be able toshare them if you need to, but
otherwise just send them and beokay with steering away
conversations that are toodifficult for you, which leads
to self-care.
So again, I talked about mebeing much more of a introvert
(10:58):
than most people believe.
So you know, I'm not going toset up five things in a five day
period.
I'm going to set up one or twoand then I'm going to do some
self-care.
You know, doing things I enjoy,honestly, it's like taking a
night off and watching somesomething on TV, usually a
sports event or going away withmy kids for a night or two just
to have fun, or even doingsomething just with them, not in
(11:20):
the crowds, but rather just meand them, because it's fun,
whether we're, you know,decorating the tree, cause again
, we celebrate Christmas.
You don't have to celebratechristmas, but we do are
rearranging a little bit of theliving room in order to make
that work, or try some newthings.
But I also need to find ways totake care of myself, and that's
good sleep, eating regularlyand making sure you get all the
(11:42):
rest that you need, and stayingconnected with the people you
care for.
So you know like it's easy toisolate because you're so
overwhelmed.
But you know I have a fewfriends that I count on.
They know who they are.
I've talked about some of themthat are up in Canada, and I
have a few friends out here toothat are just people I connect
with and I care for and I wantto continue connecting with them
just to keep my wellbeing, andsometimes that's hard, but I
(12:06):
make time for them and that'sabsolutely important to do.
And focusing on the positive,what are the good things that
happen in the holidays?
You know, while you canconcentrate on the idiots at the
mall cutting you off or takingyour parking spot or what have
you.
You can, also your kids.
Are you having a good time?
You know, like I know peoplelove that Black Friday shopping.
(12:27):
I can't imagine doing that, butpeople like that, people like
to have those gatherings ofcutting down the tree.
We used to do that, me and thegirls, my daughters and we don't
do that anymore.
We have a nice fake tree thatwe actually like.
So, but finding those thingsthat you enjoy and focus on
those positives, because whenyou're cutting down the tree,
you're putting it in the house.
(12:47):
You're doing it together.
Cleaning out the tree, you'reputting it in the house you're
doing together, cleaning out theneedles, laughing about maybe
dropping an ornament, not losingyour crap about it, and
thinking about how you'rebuilding your relationship with
others by doing these fun things.
Uh, there's a shrine not farfrom my house and they put out
the Christmas lights, I think,and again, you can celebrate
whatever you want, not pushingChristmas.
They'll put up the lightsprobably around Thanksgiving,
(13:10):
probably a little before that,and then walking around there
with my kids is just fun.
I remember pushing them in astroller doing that, and now
they're old enough, they'reolder and they walk with me and
we have a great time.
And if all things break down,you can't do it, seek
professional help.
Obviously, you know thatfinding your way through therapy
is also talking about having atherapist.
(13:32):
I'm a big fan of having atherapist, I know.
You know I have one, and I havepeople who come in every six
months, every three months,every year, whatever the case
may be, and that's fine with me.
But sometimes, you know, I havepeople like, hey, I'm having a
hard time, can I come back for afew sessions, or the holidays
are difficult or somethinghappened or whatever.
So hopefully you have someonelike that.
If not, seek professional helpin the sense that people can
(13:52):
help you in managing youranxiety, managing your stress,
and sometimes it's also venting.
People don't think abouttherapy as a venting thing, but
coming in and just having to saywhat the hell you want to say,
I let people just yell, scream,cry, whatever they need to do in
order to feel comfortable.
So those are the things I wouldrecommend.
(14:12):
And if you have like some sortof you know you journal, you do
some mindfulness, you do somemeditation, you do some stuff
like that, go ahead and continuedoing that.
Yoga is a great one too, butfind those things that you can
do so that it can reduce thestress that you have.
But I do hope this was helpfuland obviously you'll see in the
show notes a little bit of thesetricks and if you want extra
(14:34):
tricks, just write me a textthrough any platform you're
using right now and I'lldefinitely help you out.
But this concludes episode 178,but episode 179 is going to be
with someone that you know I gotconnected with through.
It was interesting.
They connected with me viaFacebook and her name is Erica
Curry.
I think she has a great story.
(14:55):
We're going to talk aboutworking with professional
athletes, among other things,but also DBT and how that can
help everyone, not just quoteborderline personality disorder.
So I hope you join me.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Please like, subscribe and follow this
podcast on your favoriteplatform, so I hope you join me
then for consultation.
If you are in a mental healthcrisis, call 988 for assistance.
This number is available in theUnited States and Canada.
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