January 20, 2025 • 36 mins
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Your internal critic is holding you back from achieving an extraordinary life.
Join us as we turn the spotlight on Michael Jesse, the visionary owner of the Curiosity Center, to uncover his fascinating insights into the realms of creativity, innovation, and leadership. Our engaging session takes an unexpected twist as Michael faces his own coaching tools, shedding light on the pivotal role a coach can play in identifying blind spots and keeping us focused amidst life's distractions. Together, we unravel the mysteries of creative leadership and business innovation, while confronting the daunting challenge of self-imposed limitations and the powerful weapon of self-awareness. I'd invite you to listen to this episode and identify moments or insight or shifts in perspective you can apply to your own life and business.
I'd like to take a moment and shoutout Restaurant Technologies for sponsoring this show and supporting the restaurant industry. Their innovative solutions, like automated oil management and hood cleaning systems, help restaurants save time, reduce risks, and operate more efficiently, allowing owners to focus on delivering exceptional dining experiences. Learn more at https://go.rti-inc.com/RestaurantLeadershipPodcast
Chapters:
0:08 - Coaching for Creativity and Innovation
15:43 - Escaping the Cage of Self-Doubt
25:32 - Embracing Change Through Metaphors
35:25 - Reflecting and Gratitude in Self-Discovery
Ever feel like you're stuck in a cage of self-doubt, constantly grappling with the pressure to make a significant impact? Our conversation dives into the roots of this struggle, examining how early life experiences and parental expectations can wield an overbearing influence on our beliefs and actions. We discuss the relentless pursuit of an extraordinary life, often overshadowed by the critical internal 'judge' that once served a purpose but now hinders progress. Through mutual exploration, we redefine what it means to lead an extraordinary life by acknowledging past achievements and balancing ambition with contentment.
Prepare to reimagine your limiting beliefs through the power of metaphors. Inspired by Richard Branson's audacious journey, we explore the liberating process of viewing outdated beliefs as toys in a box, remnants of past growth ready to be released. Our episode culminates in a heartening reflection on self-awareness and gratitude, encouraging a reconnection with past clients and colleagues to appreciate the positive impacts we've made. By embracing shared experiences and mutual support within the coaching community, we unlock the true potential for personal transformation and fulfillment.
Resources:
Michael Jesse
Restaurant Technologies
The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary
More from Christin:
Grab your free copy of my audiobook, The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary at christinmarvin.com/audio
Curious about one-on-one coaching or leadership workshops? Click this link to schedule a 15 minute strategy session.
Podcast Production: https://www.lconnorvoice.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
today I'm coaching michael jesse and you're gonna
see me have some fun with thetools that he uses.
He simply lays out somebeautiful metaphors and
analogies and tools that he'susing with his clients and I
just turn the tables on him andI don't know that he knows it in
the moment, but we joke aboutit at the end of the session
because, again, it's rare thatwe slow down and really invest
(00:33):
in ourselves as coaches and thisis just a really fun, playful,
impactful episode and superefficient.
We got this done in about 30minutes, which I love, these
little short sessions.
So hope you get a ton of valueout of this and here's the
episode for you.
Welcome to the RestaurantLeadership Podcast, the show
where restaurant leaders learntools, tactics and habits from
(00:57):
the world's greatest operators.
I'm your host, kristen Marvin,with Solutions by Kristen.
I've spent the last two decadesin the restaurant industry and
now partner with restaurantowners to develop their leaders
and scale their businessesthrough powerful one-on-one
coaching, group coaching andleadership workshops.
This show is complete withepisodes around coaching,
(01:21):
leadership development andinterviews with powerful
industry leaders.
You can now engage with me onthe show and share topics you'd
like to hear about leadership,lessons you want to learn and
any feedback you have.
Simply click the link at thetop of the show notes and I will
give you a shout out on afuture episode.
Thanks so much for listeningand I look forward to connecting
(01:44):
on a future episode.
Thanks so much for listeningand I look forward to connecting
.
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Michael, welcome to the show, soexcited to have you today.
I love coaching coaches.
It's just such a fun, awesomeexperience.
I think everybody should have acoach.
I love coaching coaches.
It's just such a fun, awesomeexperience.
I think everybody should have acoach.
I don't know if you agree withthat statement or not.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I have three of my own, so yes, Perfect.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, I mean, it's just having a coach and being a
coach is so important.
It just really helps for meanyway.
It helps me identify my blindspots so I can make sure that
I'm showing up as I want toevery single time for my clients
and cause.
Life gets in the way, andtrying to manage a business gets
in the way too, right.
So it helps kind of keep mefocused instead of being
preoccupied on on the otherthings that are going on in life
(04:17):
.
So, love that you're here.
Would you kick us off?
We're going to, we're going tojump into a coaching session,
which I'm super excited about,but before that, would you just
give the listeners a little bitof insight into who you are and
what you do?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, so my name is Michael and I'm the owner of
Curiosity Center, which startedout as a learning center about
creativity and innovation andhow that process works actually
in your brain, and so I dig intoa lot of the science and
neuroscience behind that.
How I apply it is leadershipdevelopment, like how do we
become creative leaders and thenhow, if you're a business owner
(04:53):
, innovate a product, or how doyou work in a way where you see
opportunities, working withcustomers?
So that's what I really focuson.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I love that.
I love it.
And how can people get ahold ofyou if they want to connect?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I love that.
I love it.
And how can people get a hold?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
of you.
If they want to connect, theycan find me at
curiositycenternet.
Perfect, I love it.
Curiositycenternet Super easy.
Okay, we're going to jump intosome coaching now.
Is there anything that you needfrom me or anything that you'd
like to design before we start?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, one of the things I often need and I love
asking this to my coaches isplease call out my BS when you
see it so I can.
When I get into these sessions,I can call out a whole bunch of
excuses and complain, andsometimes I am self-aware that
I'm doing it, but it's nice tohave that little reminder like
(05:44):
oh no, I can hear that littlelike saboteur talking in your
head.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
So, yeah, I love it.
We are speaking the samelanguage.
My friend, I love that.
I'd call it a tough loveapproach, but yeah, if I see you
standing in your way, I'm goingto call that out, so absolutely
.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Good.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
OK, what would make this an extraordinary
conversation for you today?
One of the breakthroughs thatI'm still working on myself so
is the it's that belief of notgood enough, right.
However, I have learned alongthe way life expectations or
purpose is different foreverybody, and that's kind of
what I'm looking for is, once ina while, I forget maybe what
(06:30):
I'm here to help people with,and it's just because a lot of
people say, oh, Michael, you'reso patient, and to me that's not
a superpower.
They're like oh, it absolutelyis.
So that's what I'm looking foris kind of keeping up with that
idea that, yes, there issomething for me to do and I can
help people.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
What is your mission?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
My mission is to help people figure things out, but
again, because I can use thescience behind creativity.
What I see people get stuckwith is like I don't know how to
, or they feel trapped, or theyfeel like they're in this cage
and can't break away, where, forme, I honestly have never
(07:13):
really had that feeling.
So what I help people with isto really understand that taking
in new information is going tobe helpful, like the difference
between a breadth of knowledgeand mastering, and then how to
apply that in whatever situationyou are.
So I do have a friend.
(07:33):
He works in a peripheralthinking world, which is not the
same as lateral thinking.
So you're going to hear me havethese conversations about
convergent thinking, divergentthinking.
So it's just the idea thatsomeone else in a different
place is literally going throughthe same thing you are, and now
you just have to understandthat.
How can I reach out and findthese people to help me get
(07:58):
through the same thing?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
You're so technical and you're so scientific is
awesome, but you just did areally great job of breaking
that down.
You had mentioned that you helppeople break out of their cages
yes how do you do that?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
understanding what does the cage actually look like
?
Where did it come from?
And I often hear people like ifthey're experiencing either a
struggle or even sometimestrauma, that they just have to
get through it.
I work in a situation where youmay not need to.
(08:39):
How could you go around it?
So again, I think morethree-dimensional than 2D Like
do I need to go over underaround the situation just so I
can let go?
And that is what I help peopledo is let go of the cage.
You don't need to be carryingit.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
There's really no need to anymore, you said that
you've never been locked in acage.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I have never thought I was in a cage.
And so when I hear people like,oh, I've been stuck with this
situation for the past threemonths, I'm like wow, that's got
to be awful.
Like, what is that like?
So, yeah, I feel like, becauseI grew up always wanting to
learn, like I love reading books, I love watching documentaries,
I am that weird type of kid whojust wants to take it all in,
(09:28):
and I even love when it's thattype of information where you
know, hey, we're going to eateggs today Cause it's good for
you.
No, don't eat eggs todaybecause it's bad for you.
So I even love, you know,listening to the comparisons
like what's working, what's notworking.
And so for me, because I feellike I've done so much of that,
I can always look at a situationlike oh, this reminds me when I
(09:51):
was bike riding, this happened.
Or hey, when I was a softwareengineer, this happened.
Or again, when I was the barmanager, this happened.
So I am grateful for theexperiences I've had to help
people understand well, what if,right, you were this type of
person, what if you were anorator?
What if you were a leader?
(10:12):
What if right, and so the whatifs opens up the mind to new
ideas and possibilities.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What if you were someone that you could believe
in as being enough?
What if you?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
were someone that you could believe in as being
enough.
Wow, that's an interestingquestion.
What, if I could feel I wasbeing enough?
My confidence level would be sohigh, like if you can think
like confidence as rating anyenergy, like having something as
(10:55):
big as the star, like our sun,would be awesome, right, like
just being able to pour out thatmuch light would be fantastic.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Let's play with a sun metaphor a little bit.
Love this pouring out light.
Tell me what colors the sun.
How high is the sun?
What's the sun doing?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, I'll just keep to the yellow sun that we have
and it's.
It's interesting because if youlook at the sun, it kind of
flares and it has these kinds offeathery moments.
Yeah, so that's kind of whatI'm thinking in my mind.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
What?
Who are you as the sun?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
The word possibility immediately happened in my mind.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, Say more.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, say, more things work out on different
things.
So, yeah, the opportunity tomeet new people, opportunities
to again try new things.
So that's what's come to mindfor me when I think of the sun.
I think of the morning.
I do want to work on what doesit look like when the sun sets?
And so for me, during myevening routine actually is
(12:23):
really reflecting on the day.
Right, what did I get to do?
The word alchemist now comes tomind, because that's kind of
what I feel like is Iexperimented, I tried to mix up
a few different things andhere's the results of it.
But it's one of those thingswhere I have not done this work,
where I do an experiment forthe day and I share the results.
(12:46):
I write it down, but I havenever shared it.
I think that's something thatfor me, coming back to the good
enough is something I probablyneed to do more often is because
I think, once people understandlike, hey, I'm struggling with
this and this is what I'mworking through and here's some
of the great outcomes I've hadwhen I've gone through another
(13:07):
challenge that maybe somebodyelse has gone through.
So, yeah, I'm liking this likemorning experiment and then in
the evening kind of reflect andreview.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
It's interesting with the sun right, because we have
we have the most gorgeoussunrises and sunsets in Tucson
and so I wait for them every day.
It's just gorgeous, but in themorning the sun's not enough.
Right, as it starts to rise,the parts where the sun isn't
shining is cold and the partswhere the sun is shining is a
(13:41):
little bit warmer and moreinviting and more comfortable.
Right, and then you go throughthis progression.
The sun goes through thisprogression throughout the day
where it's constantly in motion,constantly moving, and then
there's a point where it's justshining as brightly as it
possibly can, right, and it'sjust providing value and and,
(14:02):
like you mentioned earlier,pouring that sunlight over a
huge population and a large landmass, and then it starts to
decrease right and setthroughout the day and then
eventually goes away for a whileand it repeats that same cycle
every single day, but it showsup really consistently.
(14:24):
What's resonating?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
for you when I say that.
A story that someone had oncetold me.
You don't always have to be onall the time, and what I mean by
that is just because, from 8 amto 8 pm, I'm not, you know,
making the impact I wantthroughout all 12 hours.
(14:49):
One, one minute is good enough,right, like if you could
highlight one thing for that day, that is good enough, and so
I'm glad that you mentioned that, because, again, we're coming
back to the good enough part.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Hi podcast friends, we're taking a quick break to
address a common challenge inthe restaurant industry
leadership development.
If you're a restaurant owner ormanager navigating the
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(15:30):
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Visit kristinmarvincom slashclear to grab your copy and
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Now back to the show.
Thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, it is for me a good reminder Like I don't
always have to be.
Yeah, it is for me a goodreminder Like I don't always
have to be.
You know, always make an impact, always like helping people,
always trying to reach out more,always.
So the always seems to be thething that I get caught up with
a lot, because sometimes againnot feeling like enough, I'm not
(16:05):
doing enough, but then it doescome into like if I can make one
person smile.
Today I've done this experiment.
Once you go to a grocery store,you kind of shot up somebody,
like it could literally be likeI did this with, um, chicken
fingers once.
So I was like, hey, why did youpick that one?
And so we just got into aconversation.
I learned so much about thatperson and I'm sure that person
(16:25):
was like I didn't go to thegrocery store to have a
conversation, but you know, thisis kind of cool.
So, yeah, it's uh, it'sinteresting that we are talking
about.
You know, in the morning you'rejust starting, you're not
having to light up everything.
Then you have that peak momentand then, yeah, you get to kind
of rest a little bit and thenstart up a new day.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
When you said you had this.
You want to break through thisbelief of not being good enough.
Are you talking about in lifeor in business, or both?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
yeah, I don't separate work life.
To me it's just life.
My life just right now happensto be in a role where I'm a
business owner.
So I think for me it is life ingeneral.
And I know kind of when itstarted, when a parent chose to
(17:22):
continue telling me that eventhough I got straight A pluses
on a report card for a year, itwasn't enough.
I know that was the triggerpluses on a report card for a
year, it wasn't enough.
I know that was the trigger andin my mind it's like what could
you possibly do?
That's greater than this.
And I think that's been trappedin my mind ever since.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
What does life look like for you if you can let go
of that moment?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
freeing, obviously, and I think it removes a lid
I've always had of I don't knowenough, maybe I'm not doing
enough, and it can be exhausting, actually having the not good
enough belief it could drain me.
I have days, days where for twodays I just will not do
(18:12):
anything because I am that tiredNot necessarily burnout, but
just mentally exhausted of whatelse could I do.
So again, going back tocreativity as like, okay, what
am I not getting to do?
What trap or what cage did Iput myself in now?
Getting to do?
(18:34):
What trap or what cage did Iput myself in now?
So yeah, it's interesting thatI could just even free myself
sometimes from that cage.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
That parental figure at that time sounds like your
judge.
You mentioned saboteurs earlier, so I know you know what I'm
talking about right now.
Why is the judge there for you?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I've always heard the story behind never be satisfied
and that came up as well and atthe time I thought that was a
good belief or value to have Nowgoing back and thinking about
it, to have Now going back andthinking about it.
(19:20):
There is a value behind not Iwon't say not good enough the
settling, like I do understandlike just staying in comfort
doesn't isn't a great place tobe either, but always striving
to the point of exhaustion isn'ta great place to be either, but
always striving to the point ofexhaustion isn't a great place
either.
So I think for me, just the notsettling or don't be satisfied
(19:42):
is a depends on how it's used, Iguess, um, if, like, I see peak
athletes sometimes and I justtalked to another coach who is
an athletic coach and he'sliterally works with athletes
who build themselves up so muchas far as expectations to where
(20:05):
they will make a small mistake,but critical enough to like make
it, so they can't work out foran entire week Like just one
small mistake, and I feel like Iget that sometimes Like I feel
like, wow, I expect so much, andif I make this one mistake, I'm
crippled again.
Now I'm trapped again.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
So what is the judge protecting you from?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That is a great question.
I never thought of it that way.
I think the judge wants toprotect me from the word the
boring life came up, so that waskind of interesting.
Um, no, I.
(21:02):
I think the judge simply wantsto explore my full human
potential.
Right Again, going back tonever being satisfied.
What could you do?
And that's the one thing I dolike, is I?
I look at you know greatinnovators, great scientific
discoveries.
It's so amazing that when youwork at a certain mastery level,
you can come up with so manyamazing things.
But I think what it'sprotecting me from is an
ordinary life.
What would an extraordinarylife be if you were to just keep
(21:27):
going?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, the judge is there to protect you in your
childhood, to make sure youdon't get stagnant, to keep you
moving, to keep you movingforward, to keep you driven,
keep you hungry.
The problem with the judge andthe saboteur the other saboteurs
, right, because we know thejudge is the master saboteur is
they're still with us inadulthood and we no longer need
(21:49):
them, but they're always a partof your journey because they are
a part of you and who you areand what you're made of.
What would you like to say tothe judge when the judge shows
up?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Honestly, that's a great point because I have to
actually look back where I waswhen I was a child and where I
am now.
I got to make six figures in ajob.
I was able to lead four teams Iwas able to build.
This is like my third business.
(22:26):
So it's amazing that I'vegotten this far.
And basically to look out, likeyou know who else is doing this
, and find out not many peopledo this at all it's like, well,
this is kind of weird.
So again, it kind of plays intome like, oh well, this is kind
of normal, right?
So if I can do it, anybody elsecould do it.
Because, again, I grew up.
(22:47):
I grew up in a cherry farm of apopulation of fifteen hundred
people.
Like there wasn't much toexpect, right.
But to go from that to where Iam now, having lived in
different states, havingopportunities to work with big
companies, work with teams,being in front of people on
stages, it's been prettyincredible.
(23:07):
So, yeah, if I have to reflectback over my entire lifetime, I
did not expect this at all.
Like I'm well beyond what Iexpected.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Growing up on a cherry farm to now being on
stages starting your thirdcompany, making six figures at
one point, managing four teams.
This constant thirst.
Again, if you can't see thisright now, listeners, michael's
got this amazing colorfulbookshelf behind him of all this
knowledge, all this thirst, allthis curiosity and all these
(23:41):
different ways to play and toexperiment with your business,
on a journey to living anextraordinary life.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah life.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, so the cage is here in front of us right now.
Do?
Speaker 2 (24:05):
you need to go around it or above it.
I need to go around it.
I do understand that goingthrough it, I think, is just
going to stop me from exploring.
So I do like this idea thatgoing around it and seeing from
(24:26):
a different perspective like, aswe both know, perspectives
matters in life.
So I need to spend todayliterally looking at where I'm
at literally from a differentperspective.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
So yeah, you go around the cage.
Hi everybody, we're taking aquick break to offer you an
exciting opportunity If you're arestaurant owner or manager
looking to enhance yourleadership skills, I invite you
to join my 12-day leadershipchallenge, I think on the other
side.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
it's kind of cool that I can envision this already
.
On the other side is a group ofpeople who have a need.
I see the people who I'vealready helped and building that
community and that is thereason why I built Curiosity
Center was to actually have thatthose who are struggling and
(25:14):
meeting up with those who'veactually gone through it.
So yeah, on that other side isthe community building that I
want to build.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
What's the path forward here for you?
Path forward here for you.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You know, now that I'm on the other side, I'm going
to use this analogy it's nolonger a cage that I'm in, but
it does feel like an anchorthat's still holding me back.
So it's interesting thatanother time that we probably
should have this conversation ishow to get rid of the anchor,
cause I feel like it's like weplay this back and forth, like
(25:53):
all of a sudden I'm in the cage,then it becomes an anchor and
it's literally back and forth.
So it's interesting that thispattern keeps showing up every
once in a while.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
You're looking at the cage through the perspective of
it's holding you back ortrapping you.
What's something you could doto shift your perspective on the
cage?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
the thing that actually came to mind.
It's uh, I turned it into a toybox and I put all of my bad
toys in it.
So it's kind of like one ofthose.
Hey, uh, this used to serve youbut you want to like, like, get
rid of it and put it in thislittle toy box and put it away
finally.
So that's how it comes to mind.
I think of it now.
If it is a cage, it's a toy boxwith all of the beliefs I used
(26:41):
to have that really don't serveme now.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And how did those beliefs help you get to where
you're at today?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That is.
That is a good thing toremember is it was helpful.
It got me to learn somethingelse that was valuable, and so
it's great to have as a reminderlike in a back corner somewhere
, maybe in the garage that itgot me to here, but it itself
(27:14):
wasn't the thing that got mehere, so I know that was kind of
vague.
It's like it's shown a light ina direction where I went down.
It found out I didn't like itturned around and didn't want to
go down that path anymore.
So that's what I think of thoseis.
It was just a way to learn whatisn't working.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
So yeah, it sounds like the the cage is holding
some beliefs for you at acertain point in time.
As a scientist, you are testingsome hypotheses right, Seeing
what works, seeing what doesn'twork, leaning into and learning
from the ones that work and thentossing the ones that don't
(27:57):
into your toy box.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, and I was just watching this documentary last
night.
So funny that we got to thispoint.
It was the conversation ofconfidence and that you actually
don't make any wrong decisions,like we have this judgment of
ourselves oh the right decision,the wrong decisions, the wrong
decisions could be fatal.
Right, and it was thisconversation that your
(28:21):
confidence grows only when youhave bad decisions.
But it's not a bad decision.
It's just something that workedfor you, that you wanted to try
.
It didn't work out, but now youknow what one thing not to do
anymore versus never knowing iteven existed.
So it's great to know thatthere really is no wrong
(28:42):
decisions.
You just tried something.
It didn't work for you.
You can try to find somethingelse.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Who are you comparing yourself to?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Oh goodness, when I started this journey, it really
was, I believe, my parents'expectations of what I should be
.
Right, it's kind of how itstarts, I think.
Now, having been where I am, Ihave looked at others through
(29:16):
inspiration and aspiration, likeI'll use Richard Branson
example, like it haven't readhis books.
It's kind of amazing thatsomeone with dyslexia, who
really didn't know what he wasdoing other than he loved rock
and roll, have built this youknow version group company that
does such amazing stuff.
And again, he will self-admit Iam not the smartest person on
(29:40):
the planet, I just likeexperimenting.
So he has a book called Screwit, let's Do it.
I love that belief, love it,love it, love it.
So if anybody gets that book,please, you'll find it super
amazing, but it is.
It's just he didn't expect itto happen either.
It just happened.
(30:01):
But what he did want to do isserve customers in a much
greater way.
That's the goal of Virgin Groupactually is better customer
service, and look where it'staken them.
So and you are wanting to servepeople in a powerful way by
helping them break free of theircages and think really
creatively yeah, and maybe whatI'm pushing for me is that
(30:28):
expectation of if he could do it, I could do it, which is good
again aspiration, but what if Idon't?
Right?
There's always that naggingperson in the back of the head.
It's like do you really belongthere?
Are you the right person?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
What would life look like if you let go of the
expectation?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
It would be freeing.
I can look back and actuallysay I've made a big impact on
people's lives already.
Say I've made a big impact onpeople's lives already.
I have people who I worked witheight years ago reach out to me
saying, hey, remember when youtaught me this thing?
I use it still today, likethat's amazing, right.
So I think it would just befreeing that if I just let go of
(31:12):
expectation and just be thebest at who I can be.
Who knows where I could goright Now it's nice to have a
goal, but who knows where thisjourney will take me?
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Are you staying in contact with your former clients
and coworkers?
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, I'm going to challenge you, if you haven't
done this recently, to connectwith them in a conversation
Maybe it's once a week and askthem to highlight a moment that
made an impact, where you madean impact in their life.
And feel free to negotiate orcounter.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yep, yep, yeah, yeah, I could easily do that.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
What's well, before we end, I will say Michael, you
again.
This, this story of growing upon a cherry farm, getting
straight A's, working reallyhard, pushing yourself.
Are you an only child?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
No, I have one sister .
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Okay.
Building companies over andover and over, managing groups
and groups of people, gettingyourself in a position of making
six figures, this constantthirst for knowledge and
curiosity and experimentation.
You're extraordinary.
(32:48):
You're already living anextraordinary life.
You are one of one, my friend.
You are incredibly unique.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Thank you for that.
I sometimes need that reminderand self-reflection.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yes, what's your biggest takeaway from the
conversation today?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
the biggest takeaway actually was the analogy, or the
image of the sun, becausethat's brand new for me.
Um, like I had mentioned, thecage and the anchor does,
because that's brand new for me.
Like I had mentioned, the cageand the anchor does seem to be a
pattern that does show up.
But now, looking at light,looking at the sunrise, sunset,
the peak moment, that was thegreatest takeaway is I again, I
(33:36):
don't have to be always on whenI reached that peak, that's when
I'm at my greatest.
And this snow, like sunsets,sunrises.
So it's a nice circle.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
So yeah, Is there a way that you can capture that
peak every day?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You know, uh, what I want to do is uh, I'm going to
try to do this.
Uh, get a video, obviously likewhere I am.
I'm over by Mount lemon andrincon mountain.
So when the sun rises, I reallywant to be at a point where I
can do like a what is it?
The the fast motion or the timelapse video of a sunrise, just
(34:15):
as a reminder, just to put on mymonitor, just like this is how
I'm going to start my day andobviously swing around during
the evening and then watch thesunset.
Do that same thing, because Ithink that would just help me to
let go of that.
Always on is, when you wake up,you're not going to be a
hundred percent in.
Definitely, when it's sunsetyou're not going to be a hundred
(34:35):
percent, but how well you cantake care of that during the
time of sunrise, peak sunset,would be amazing.
It's just a reminder actually.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
I love that.
Will you share that photo withme or that video?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Absolutely yes.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Okay, I love it.
Can't wait to see it.
Michael, thank you so much forthis time.
Really really appreciate youdiving in and playing around
with some different metaphors.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
I appreciate your perspectives on this and help me
look at it from a different wayand coming up with a new
strategy of how this cage anchorkind of works for me right now.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
It's so interesting in coaching that so often the
tools that we use for ourclients are the tools that we
need to use on ourselves, right?
So that's all I was doing withyou today.
You were throwing outeverything you're doing, all the
science, all the methodologythat you're using with your
clients, just taking a second,turning that mirror to you and
having you reflect on whereyou're at, because we don't do
(35:37):
that very often, or often enoughfor ourselves.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
And it's so interesting that, again, you and
I both know, as a coach, wehave our own blind spots and
it's so easy to just like missit.
And so when you helped me walkthrough, you know what was it
like?
What does it mean?
What's it look like on theother side?
It's like oh yeah, I should beasking these by itself, so, but
it's great to see something thatyou see, because, again, I have
(36:04):
that weird blind spot everyonce in a while yeah, absolutely
all right, my friend.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Well, thank you so much for your time.
We cannot wait for that videoand I can't wait to continue to
follow your journey in town.
You've been just a tremendous.
You've made a huge impact on me.
You, since we've met, you'vejust been so giving and
supportive and I'm grateful foryou and that's your, that's your
highlight today.
(36:29):
You don't have to call me andyou know to hear that, but I
just am really grateful and Ican't thank you enough for
showing up today the way thatyou did.
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
All right everybody.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
That's going to do it for us.
Please share this episode withanyone that you know that could
benefit, and we will talk to yousoon.
today I'm coaching michael jesse and you're gonna
see me have some fun with thetools that he uses.
He simply lays out somebeautiful metaphors and
analogies and tools that he'susing with his clients and I
just turn the tables on him andI don't know that he knows it in
the moment, but we joke aboutit at the end of the session
because, again, it's rare thatwe slow down and really invest
(00:33):
in ourselves as coaches and thisis just a really fun, playful,
impactful episode and superefficient.
We got this done in about 30minutes, which I love, these
little short sessions.
So hope you get a ton of valueout of this and here's the
episode for you.
Welcome to the RestaurantLeadership Podcast, the show
where restaurant leaders learntools, tactics and habits from
(00:57):
the world's greatest operators.
I'm your host, kristen Marvin,with Solutions by Kristen.
I've spent the last two decadesin the restaurant industry and
now partner with restaurantowners to develop their leaders
and scale their businessesthrough powerful one-on-one
coaching, group coaching andleadership workshops.
This show is complete withepisodes around coaching,
(01:21):
leadership development andinterviews with powerful
industry leaders.
You can now engage with me onthe show and share topics you'd
like to hear about leadership,lessons you want to learn and
any feedback you have.
Simply click the link at thetop of the show notes and I will
give you a shout out on afuture episode.
Thanks so much for listeningand I look forward to connecting
(01:44):
on a future episode.
Thanks so much for listeningand I look forward to connecting
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Michael, welcome to the show, soexcited to have you today.
I love coaching coaches.
It's just such a fun, awesomeexperience.
I think everybody should have acoach.
I love coaching coaches.
It's just such a fun, awesomeexperience.
I think everybody should have acoach.
I don't know if you agree withthat statement or not.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I have three of my own, so yes, Perfect.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, I mean, it's just having a coach and being a
coach is so important.
It just really helps for meanyway.
It helps me identify my blindspots so I can make sure that
I'm showing up as I want toevery single time for my clients
and cause.
Life gets in the way, andtrying to manage a business gets
in the way too, right.
So it helps kind of keep mefocused instead of being
preoccupied on on the otherthings that are going on in life
(04:17):
.
So, love that you're here.
Would you kick us off?
We're going to, we're going tojump into a coaching session,
which I'm super excited about,but before that, would you just
give the listeners a little bitof insight into who you are and
what you do?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, so my name is Michael and I'm the owner of
Curiosity Center, which startedout as a learning center about
creativity and innovation andhow that process works actually
in your brain, and so I dig intoa lot of the science and
neuroscience behind that.
How I apply it is leadershipdevelopment, like how do we
become creative leaders and thenhow, if you're a business owner
(04:53):
, innovate a product, or how doyou work in a way where you see
opportunities, working withcustomers?
So that's what I really focuson.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I love that.
I love it.
And how can people get ahold ofyou if they want to connect?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I love that.
I love it.
And how can people get a hold?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
of you.
If they want to connect, theycan find me at
curiositycenternet.
Perfect, I love it.
Curiositycenternet Super easy.
Okay, we're going to jump intosome coaching now.
Is there anything that you needfrom me or anything that you'd
like to design before we start?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, one of the things I often need and I love
asking this to my coaches isplease call out my BS when you
see it so I can.
When I get into these sessions,I can call out a whole bunch of
excuses and complain, andsometimes I am self-aware that
I'm doing it, but it's nice tohave that little reminder like
(05:44):
oh no, I can hear that littlelike saboteur talking in your
head.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
So, yeah, I love it.
We are speaking the samelanguage.
My friend, I love that.
I'd call it a tough loveapproach, but yeah, if I see you
standing in your way, I'm goingto call that out, so absolutely
.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Good.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
OK, what would make this an extraordinary
conversation for you today?
One of the breakthroughs thatI'm still working on myself so
is the it's that belief of notgood enough, right.
However, I have learned alongthe way life expectations or
purpose is different foreverybody, and that's kind of
what I'm looking for is, once ina while, I forget maybe what
(06:30):
I'm here to help people with,and it's just because a lot of
people say, oh, Michael, you'reso patient, and to me that's not
a superpower.
They're like oh, it absolutelyis.
So that's what I'm looking foris kind of keeping up with that
idea that, yes, there issomething for me to do and I can
help people.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
What is your mission?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
My mission is to help people figure things out, but
again, because I can use thescience behind creativity.
What I see people get stuckwith is like I don't know how to
, or they feel trapped, or theyfeel like they're in this cage
and can't break away, where, forme, I honestly have never
(07:13):
really had that feeling.
So what I help people with isto really understand that taking
in new information is going tobe helpful, like the difference
between a breadth of knowledgeand mastering, and then how to
apply that in whatever situationyou are.
So I do have a friend.
(07:33):
He works in a peripheralthinking world, which is not the
same as lateral thinking.
So you're going to hear me havethese conversations about
convergent thinking, divergentthinking.
So it's just the idea thatsomeone else in a different
place is literally going throughthe same thing you are, and now
you just have to understandthat.
How can I reach out and findthese people to help me get
(07:58):
through the same thing?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
You're so technical and you're so scientific is
awesome, but you just did areally great job of breaking
that down.
You had mentioned that you helppeople break out of their cages
yes how do you do that?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
understanding what does the cage actually look like
?
Where did it come from?
And I often hear people like ifthey're experiencing either a
struggle or even sometimestrauma, that they just have to
get through it.
I work in a situation where youmay not need to.
(08:39):
How could you go around it?
So again, I think morethree-dimensional than 2D Like
do I need to go over underaround the situation just so I
can let go?
And that is what I help peopledo is let go of the cage.
You don't need to be carryingit.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
There's really no need to anymore, you said that
you've never been locked in acage.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I have never thought I was in a cage.
And so when I hear people like,oh, I've been stuck with this
situation for the past threemonths, I'm like wow, that's got
to be awful.
Like, what is that like?
So, yeah, I feel like, becauseI grew up always wanting to
learn, like I love reading books, I love watching documentaries,
I am that weird type of kid whojust wants to take it all in,
(09:28):
and I even love when it's thattype of information where you
know, hey, we're going to eateggs today Cause it's good for
you.
No, don't eat eggs todaybecause it's bad for you.
So I even love, you know,listening to the comparisons
like what's working, what's notworking.
And so for me, because I feellike I've done so much of that,
I can always look at a situationlike oh, this reminds me when I
(09:51):
was bike riding, this happened.
Or hey, when I was a softwareengineer, this happened.
Or again, when I was the barmanager, this happened.
So I am grateful for theexperiences I've had to help
people understand well, what if,right, you were this type of
person, what if you were anorator?
What if you were a leader?
(10:12):
What if right, and so the whatifs opens up the mind to new
ideas and possibilities.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What if you were someone that you could believe
in as being enough?
What if you?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
were someone that you could believe in as being
enough.
Wow, that's an interestingquestion.
What, if I could feel I wasbeing enough?
My confidence level would be sohigh, like if you can think
like confidence as rating anyenergy, like having something as
(10:55):
big as the star, like our sun,would be awesome, right, like
just being able to pour out thatmuch light would be fantastic.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Let's play with a sun metaphor a little bit.
Love this pouring out light.
Tell me what colors the sun.
How high is the sun?
What's the sun doing?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, I'll just keep to the yellow sun that we have
and it's.
It's interesting because if youlook at the sun, it kind of
flares and it has these kinds offeathery moments.
Yeah, so that's kind of whatI'm thinking in my mind.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
What?
Who are you as the sun?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
The word possibility immediately happened in my mind.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, Say more.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, say, more things work out on different
things.
So, yeah, the opportunity tomeet new people, opportunities
to again try new things.
So that's what's come to mindfor me when I think of the sun.
I think of the morning.
I do want to work on what doesit look like when the sun sets?
And so for me, during myevening routine actually is
(12:23):
really reflecting on the day.
Right, what did I get to do?
The word alchemist now comes tomind, because that's kind of
what I feel like is Iexperimented, I tried to mix up
a few different things andhere's the results of it.
But it's one of those thingswhere I have not done this work,
where I do an experiment forthe day and I share the results.
(12:46):
I write it down, but I havenever shared it.
I think that's something thatfor me, coming back to the good
enough is something I probablyneed to do more often is because
I think, once people understandlike, hey, I'm struggling with
this and this is what I'mworking through and here's some
of the great outcomes I've hadwhen I've gone through another
(13:07):
challenge that maybe somebodyelse has gone through.
So, yeah, I'm liking this likemorning experiment and then in
the evening kind of reflect andreview.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
It's interesting with the sun right, because we have
we have the most gorgeoussunrises and sunsets in Tucson
and so I wait for them every day.
It's just gorgeous, but in themorning the sun's not enough.
Right, as it starts to rise,the parts where the sun isn't
shining is cold and the partswhere the sun is shining is a
(13:41):
little bit warmer and moreinviting and more comfortable.
Right, and then you go throughthis progression.
The sun goes through thisprogression throughout the day
where it's constantly in motion,constantly moving, and then
there's a point where it's justshining as brightly as it
possibly can, right, and it'sjust providing value and and,
(14:02):
like you mentioned earlier,pouring that sunlight over a
huge population and a large landmass, and then it starts to
decrease right and setthroughout the day and then
eventually goes away for a whileand it repeats that same cycle
every single day, but it showsup really consistently.
(14:24):
What's resonating?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
for you when I say that.
A story that someone had oncetold me.
You don't always have to be onall the time, and what I mean by
that is just because, from 8 amto 8 pm, I'm not, you know,
making the impact I wantthroughout all 12 hours.
(14:49):
One, one minute is good enough,right, like if you could
highlight one thing for that day, that is good enough, and so
I'm glad that you mentioned that, because, again, we're coming
back to the good enough part.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Hi podcast friends, we're taking a quick break to
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(15:30):
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Now back to the show.
Thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, it is for me a good reminder Like I don't
always have to be.
Yeah, it is for me a goodreminder Like I don't always
have to be.
You know, always make an impact, always like helping people,
always trying to reach out more,always.
So the always seems to be thething that I get caught up with
a lot, because sometimes againnot feeling like enough, I'm not
(16:05):
doing enough, but then it doescome into like if I can make one
person smile.
Today I've done this experiment.
Once you go to a grocery store,you kind of shot up somebody,
like it could literally be likeI did this with, um, chicken
fingers once.
So I was like, hey, why did youpick that one?
And so we just got into aconversation.
I learned so much about thatperson and I'm sure that person
(16:25):
was like I didn't go to thegrocery store to have a
conversation, but you know, thisis kind of cool.
So, yeah, it's uh, it'sinteresting that we are talking
about.
You know, in the morning you'rejust starting, you're not
having to light up everything.
Then you have that peak momentand then, yeah, you get to kind
of rest a little bit and thenstart up a new day.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
When you said you had this.
You want to break through thisbelief of not being good enough.
Are you talking about in lifeor in business, or both?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
yeah, I don't separate work life.
To me it's just life.
My life just right now happensto be in a role where I'm a
business owner.
So I think for me it is life ingeneral.
And I know kind of when itstarted, when a parent chose to
(17:22):
continue telling me that eventhough I got straight A pluses
on a report card for a year, itwasn't enough.
I know that was the triggerpluses on a report card for a
year, it wasn't enough.
I know that was the trigger andin my mind it's like what could
you possibly do?
That's greater than this.
And I think that's been trappedin my mind ever since.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
What does life look like for you if you can let go
of that moment?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
freeing, obviously, and I think it removes a lid
I've always had of I don't knowenough, maybe I'm not doing
enough, and it can be exhausting, actually having the not good
enough belief it could drain me.
I have days, days where for twodays I just will not do
(18:12):
anything because I am that tiredNot necessarily burnout, but
just mentally exhausted of whatelse could I do.
So again, going back tocreativity as like, okay, what
am I not getting to do?
What trap or what cage did Iput myself in now?
Getting to do?
(18:34):
What trap or what cage did Iput myself in now?
So yeah, it's interesting thatI could just even free myself
sometimes from that cage.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
That parental figure at that time sounds like your
judge.
You mentioned saboteurs earlier, so I know you know what I'm
talking about right now.
Why is the judge there for you?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I've always heard the story behind never be satisfied
and that came up as well and atthe time I thought that was a
good belief or value to have Nowgoing back and thinking about
it, to have Now going back andthinking about it.
(19:20):
There is a value behind not Iwon't say not good enough the
settling, like I do understandlike just staying in comfort
doesn't isn't a great place tobe either, but always striving
to the point of exhaustion isn'ta great place to be either, but
always striving to the point ofexhaustion isn't a great place
either.
So I think for me, just the notsettling or don't be satisfied
(19:42):
is a depends on how it's used, Iguess, um, if, like, I see peak
athletes sometimes and I justtalked to another coach who is
an athletic coach and he'sliterally works with athletes
who build themselves up so muchas far as expectations to where
(20:05):
they will make a small mistake,but critical enough to like make
it, so they can't work out foran entire week Like just one
small mistake, and I feel like Iget that sometimes Like I feel
like, wow, I expect so much, andif I make this one mistake, I'm
crippled again.
Now I'm trapped again.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
So what is the judge protecting you from?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That is a great question.
I never thought of it that way.
I think the judge wants toprotect me from the word the
boring life came up, so that waskind of interesting.
Um, no, I.
(21:02):
I think the judge simply wantsto explore my full human
potential.
Right Again, going back tonever being satisfied.
What could you do?
And that's the one thing I dolike, is I?
I look at you know greatinnovators, great scientific
discoveries.
It's so amazing that when youwork at a certain mastery level,
you can come up with so manyamazing things.
But I think what it'sprotecting me from is an
ordinary life.
What would an extraordinarylife be if you were to just keep
(21:27):
going?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, the judge is there to protect you in your
childhood, to make sure youdon't get stagnant, to keep you
moving, to keep you movingforward, to keep you driven,
keep you hungry.
The problem with the judge andthe saboteur the other saboteurs
, right, because we know thejudge is the master saboteur is
they're still with us inadulthood and we no longer need
(21:49):
them, but they're always a partof your journey because they are
a part of you and who you areand what you're made of.
What would you like to say tothe judge when the judge shows
up?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Honestly, that's a great point because I have to
actually look back where I waswhen I was a child and where I
am now.
I got to make six figures in ajob.
I was able to lead four teams Iwas able to build.
This is like my third business.
(22:26):
So it's amazing that I'vegotten this far.
And basically to look out, likeyou know who else is doing this
, and find out not many peopledo this at all it's like, well,
this is kind of weird.
So again, it kind of plays intome like, oh well, this is kind
of normal, right?
So if I can do it, anybody elsecould do it.
Because, again, I grew up.
(22:47):
I grew up in a cherry farm of apopulation of fifteen hundred
people.
Like there wasn't much toexpect, right.
But to go from that to where Iam now, having lived in
different states, havingopportunities to work with big
companies, work with teams,being in front of people on
stages, it's been prettyincredible.
(23:07):
So, yeah, if I have to reflectback over my entire lifetime, I
did not expect this at all.
Like I'm well beyond what Iexpected.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Growing up on a cherry farm to now being on
stages starting your thirdcompany, making six figures at
one point, managing four teams.
This constant thirst.
Again, if you can't see thisright now, listeners, michael's
got this amazing colorfulbookshelf behind him of all this
knowledge, all this thirst, allthis curiosity and all these
(23:41):
different ways to play and toexperiment with your business,
on a journey to living anextraordinary life.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah life.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, so the cage is here in front of us right now.
Do?
Speaker 2 (24:05):
you need to go around it or above it.
I need to go around it.
I do understand that goingthrough it, I think, is just
going to stop me from exploring.
So I do like this idea thatgoing around it and seeing from
(24:26):
a different perspective like, aswe both know, perspectives
matters in life.
So I need to spend todayliterally looking at where I'm
at literally from a differentperspective.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
So yeah, you go around the cage.
Hi everybody, we're taking aquick break to offer you an
exciting opportunity If you're arestaurant owner or manager
looking to enhance yourleadership skills, I invite you
to join my 12-day leadershipchallenge, I think on the other
side.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
it's kind of cool that I can envision this already
.
On the other side is a group ofpeople who have a need.
I see the people who I'vealready helped and building that
community and that is thereason why I built Curiosity
Center was to actually have thatthose who are struggling and
(25:14):
meeting up with those who'veactually gone through it.
So yeah, on that other side isthe community building that I
want to build.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
What's the path forward here for you?
Path forward here for you.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You know, now that I'm on the other side, I'm going
to use this analogy it's nolonger a cage that I'm in, but
it does feel like an anchorthat's still holding me back.
So it's interesting thatanother time that we probably
should have this conversation ishow to get rid of the anchor,
cause I feel like it's like weplay this back and forth, like
(25:53):
all of a sudden I'm in the cage,then it becomes an anchor and
it's literally back and forth.
So it's interesting that thispattern keeps showing up every
once in a while.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
You're looking at the cage through the perspective of
it's holding you back ortrapping you.
What's something you could doto shift your perspective on the
cage?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
the thing that actually came to mind.
It's uh, I turned it into a toybox and I put all of my bad
toys in it.
So it's kind of like one ofthose.
Hey, uh, this used to serve youbut you want to like, like, get
rid of it and put it in thislittle toy box and put it away
finally.
So that's how it comes to mind.
I think of it now.
If it is a cage, it's a toy boxwith all of the beliefs I used
(26:41):
to have that really don't serveme now.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And how did those beliefs help you get to where
you're at today?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That is.
That is a good thing toremember is it was helpful.
It got me to learn somethingelse that was valuable, and so
it's great to have as a reminderlike in a back corner somewhere
, maybe in the garage that itgot me to here, but it itself
(27:14):
wasn't the thing that got mehere, so I know that was kind of
vague.
It's like it's shown a light ina direction where I went down.
It found out I didn't like itturned around and didn't want to
go down that path anymore.
So that's what I think of thoseis.
It was just a way to learn whatisn't working.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
So yeah, it sounds like the the cage is holding
some beliefs for you at acertain point in time.
As a scientist, you are testingsome hypotheses right, Seeing
what works, seeing what doesn'twork, leaning into and learning
from the ones that work and thentossing the ones that don't
(27:57):
into your toy box.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, and I was just watching this documentary last
night.
So funny that we got to thispoint.
It was the conversation ofconfidence and that you actually
don't make any wrong decisions,like we have this judgment of
ourselves oh the right decision,the wrong decisions, the wrong
decisions could be fatal.
Right, and it was thisconversation that your
(28:21):
confidence grows only when youhave bad decisions.
But it's not a bad decision.
It's just something that workedfor you, that you wanted to try
.
It didn't work out, but now youknow what one thing not to do
anymore versus never knowing iteven existed.
So it's great to know thatthere really is no wrong
(28:42):
decisions.
You just tried something.
It didn't work for you.
You can try to find somethingelse.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Who are you comparing yourself to?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Oh goodness, when I started this journey, it really
was, I believe, my parents'expectations of what I should be
.
Right, it's kind of how itstarts, I think.
Now, having been where I am, Ihave looked at others through
(29:16):
inspiration and aspiration, likeI'll use Richard Branson
example, like it haven't readhis books.
It's kind of amazing thatsomeone with dyslexia, who
really didn't know what he wasdoing other than he loved rock
and roll, have built this youknow version group company that
does such amazing stuff.
And again, he will self-admit Iam not the smartest person on
(29:40):
the planet, I just likeexperimenting.
So he has a book called Screwit, let's Do it.
I love that belief, love it,love it, love it.
So if anybody gets that book,please, you'll find it super
amazing, but it is.
It's just he didn't expect itto happen either.
It just happened.
(30:01):
But what he did want to do isserve customers in a much
greater way.
That's the goal of Virgin Groupactually is better customer
service, and look where it'staken them.
So and you are wanting to servepeople in a powerful way by
helping them break free of theircages and think really
creatively yeah, and maybe whatI'm pushing for me is that
(30:28):
expectation of if he could do it, I could do it, which is good
again aspiration, but what if Idon't?
Right?
There's always that naggingperson in the back of the head.
It's like do you really belongthere?
Are you the right person?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
What would life look like if you let go of the
expectation?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
It would be freeing.
I can look back and actuallysay I've made a big impact on
people's lives already.
Say I've made a big impact onpeople's lives already.
I have people who I worked witheight years ago reach out to me
saying, hey, remember when youtaught me this thing?
I use it still today, likethat's amazing, right.
So I think it would just befreeing that if I just let go of
(31:12):
expectation and just be thebest at who I can be.
Who knows where I could goright Now it's nice to have a
goal, but who knows where thisjourney will take me?
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Are you staying in contact with your former clients
and coworkers?
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, I'm going to challenge you, if you haven't
done this recently, to connectwith them in a conversation
Maybe it's once a week and askthem to highlight a moment that
made an impact, where you madean impact in their life.
And feel free to negotiate orcounter.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yep, yep, yeah, yeah, I could easily do that.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
What's well, before we end, I will say Michael, you
again.
This, this story of growing upon a cherry farm, getting
straight A's, working reallyhard, pushing yourself.
Are you an only child?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
No, I have one sister .
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Okay.
Building companies over andover and over, managing groups
and groups of people, gettingyourself in a position of making
six figures, this constantthirst for knowledge and
curiosity and experimentation.
You're extraordinary.
(32:48):
You're already living anextraordinary life.
You are one of one, my friend.
You are incredibly unique.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Thank you for that.
I sometimes need that reminderand self-reflection.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yes, what's your biggest takeaway from the
conversation today?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
the biggest takeaway actually was the analogy, or the
image of the sun, becausethat's brand new for me.
Um, like I had mentioned, thecage and the anchor does,
because that's brand new for me.
Like I had mentioned, the cageand the anchor does seem to be a
pattern that does show up.
But now, looking at light,looking at the sunrise, sunset,
the peak moment, that was thegreatest takeaway is I again, I
(33:36):
don't have to be always on whenI reached that peak, that's when
I'm at my greatest.
And this snow, like sunsets,sunrises.
So it's a nice circle.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
So yeah, Is there a way that you can capture that
peak every day?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You know, uh, what I want to do is uh, I'm going to
try to do this.
Uh, get a video, obviously likewhere I am.
I'm over by Mount lemon andrincon mountain.
So when the sun rises, I reallywant to be at a point where I
can do like a what is it?
The the fast motion or the timelapse video of a sunrise, just
(34:15):
as a reminder, just to put on mymonitor, just like this is how
I'm going to start my day andobviously swing around during
the evening and then watch thesunset.
Do that same thing, because Ithink that would just help me to
let go of that.
Always on is, when you wake up,you're not going to be a
hundred percent in.
Definitely, when it's sunsetyou're not going to be a hundred
(34:35):
percent, but how well you cantake care of that during the
time of sunrise, peak sunset,would be amazing.
It's just a reminder actually.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
I love that.
Will you share that photo withme or that video?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Absolutely yes.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Okay, I love it.
Can't wait to see it.
Michael, thank you so much forthis time.
Really really appreciate youdiving in and playing around
with some different metaphors.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
I appreciate your perspectives on this and help me
look at it from a different wayand coming up with a new
strategy of how this cage anchorkind of works for me right now.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
It's so interesting in coaching that so often the
tools that we use for ourclients are the tools that we
need to use on ourselves, right?
So that's all I was doing withyou today.
You were throwing outeverything you're doing, all the
science, all the methodologythat you're using with your
clients, just taking a second,turning that mirror to you and
having you reflect on whereyou're at, because we don't do
(35:37):
that very often, or often enoughfor ourselves.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
And it's so interesting that, again, you and
I both know, as a coach, wehave our own blind spots and
it's so easy to just like missit.
And so when you helped me walkthrough, you know what was it
like?
What does it mean?
What's it look like on theother side?
It's like oh yeah, I should beasking these by itself, so, but
it's great to see something thatyou see, because, again, I have
(36:04):
that weird blind spot everyonce in a while yeah, absolutely
all right, my friend.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Well, thank you so much for your time.
We cannot wait for that videoand I can't wait to continue to
follow your journey in town.
You've been just a tremendous.
You've made a huge impact on me.
You, since we've met, you'vejust been so giving and
supportive and I'm grateful foryou and that's your, that's your
highlight today.
(36:29):
You don't have to call me andyou know to hear that, but I
just am really grateful and Ican't thank you enough for
showing up today the way thatyou did.
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
All right everybody.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
That's going to do it for us.
Please share this episode withanyone that you know that could
benefit, and we will talk to yousoon.
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