April 8, 2025 • 36 mins
In this episode of Restoration Beyond the Couch, Dr. Lee Long and Dr. Sara Blakeney explore how Millennials and Gen Z are reshaping relationships, culture, and community. From communication shifts to evolving values, they unpack the impact these generations are having on society and what it means for the future.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Restoration Beyond the Couch.
I'm Dr Lee Long and in today'sepisode I'm joined by Dr Sarah
Blakeney, one of our counselorshere at Restoration and the
author of Calling Out the GoldEquipping Millennials to be the
Next Church Leaders.
In this conversation we take acloser look at generational
(00:24):
shifts, especially the uniquevalues, challenges and strengths
of millennials.
From leadership and purpose tomental wellness and faith.
We'll explore what it means tosupport and empower the next
generation.
Your path to mental wellnessstarts here.
Welcome, dr Sarah Blakeney.
(00:48):
It is so good to have you withus today.
I am excited for you to sharewith our audience your research
on the impacts that therelationship between different
generations and would you well,first of all, welcome.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
And you are a therapist here with us at
Restoration and you work withmarriages, families.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And also part of your illustrious DBT program.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yes, we do love our DBT don't we.
So talk to us about.
Can you give us a quickoverview about your research and
just what was the inspirationin you?
Wanting to understand thedifferent generations and the
impact that differentgenerations have on one another?
And you can illuminate muchbetter or elucidate much better
(01:42):
than I on your research.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
First of all, this is so fun todo this with you Awesome, so
I'm glad to be here.
Yeah, so most of my career,whether it's been in counseling
or church ministry, has beenwith the millennial generation.
So I started out in youthministry back in the 90s when
(02:06):
millennials were in high schooland I've just sort of followed
millennials throughout my careerand I noticed right away that
millennials were different fromother generations and I couldn't
quite put my finger on it, butI knew that they were really
always excited to roll up theirsleeves and get involved in the
(02:29):
activities the world around themsocial justice, whatever the
cause was they wanted to be apart of.
They were also really quick toquestion any metanarratives,
anything that was assumed to bea given in life, and so, being
in church ministry, that was alot of times in the institution
(02:52):
of the church, them asking well,why, why does it have to be
this way?
And really wanting to figure itout at a grassroots level, like
in a collaborative way.
Can we do life together andfigure this out together, as
opposed to an authoritydisseminating information and
(03:14):
just like telling them how it'sgoing to be and them accepting
that.
So I've seen it both inChristian ministry and in
counseling, where the clientswant to collaborate with me to,
as we say in DBT, build a lifeworth living for themselves.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Right.
You know that that's one of thethings that I think I have
enjoyed learning from yourperspective is you hear a lot of
criticisms of, oh, that's amillennial way of going about it
and it seems to be a negative,a negative sentiment.
And I think that one of thethings that I love about what
(03:52):
you've done is is that you'veactually illuminated something
that I think this generationreally is teaching us,
especially about relationships,like why there was a, there was
somebody, that there was an oldstory that somebody told me that
you know, a woman was waspreparing for Christmas dinner
(04:15):
and she cut the ham in half andher daughter asked mom, why do
you cut the ham in half?
She was like, well, uh, yeah,that's a good question.
I don't know, let's ask yourgrandmother.
And so they asked thegrandmother, who was still
living, and she said mom, why dowe cut the ham in half?
She goes oh well, because whenI was growing up, the oven that
(04:35):
we had was really small, so wehad to do it so it would fit.
And the the mother neverquestioned it, she just went
with the dissemination of we cutthe ham in half and the
daughter questioned it and itwas like oh, so I don't have to
cut this ham in half, and Ithought that was really and it
was an.
It was an interesting thingthat I you know that.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yes that.
So your ham analogy is so goodbecause it's representative of
one of these meta narrativesright, these, one of these
stories, one of these conceptsthat we hold as truth.
And why?
Because it's always been donethat way.
And so, what's interesting,when I was doing my PhD research
(05:16):
, I was really taking a look atmillennials and now Gen Z, who
are very unique as generationsbecause they are the first fully
postmodern generations, andwhat postmodernism means is that
they reject thesemetanarratives.
(05:37):
So, in other words, whenthey're going through life and
someone who's an authority sayswell, we cut the ham in half.
They're like well, why?
Well, because it's always beendone that way.
No, that's speaking a differentlanguage to them.
For postmodernism, reality isconstructed is constructed.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So would it be safe to say that there's
postmodernism is wrapped up inthe whole idea of my perception?
Is my reality Like?
Is that rooted in postmodernism?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Absolutely Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Which is, you know, in a counseling context that
really jives, because you wantto validate someone's subjective
reality as a starting point forworking with them, you know,
and then being able to challengefrom there.
But the first step is tovalidate that, and so you know
(06:43):
that's my train of thought.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I think that's really interesting to to conceptualize
it from that place, of it beingsuch a subjective experience,
right, because you know the, thecause, cause, how, how long of
a.
I mean this postmodernism, thisis brand new.
I mean, has there been fromfrom what you've, from what
(07:12):
you've uncovered?
Has there been?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
that big of a of a mindset shift or a worldview
shift in generations, Like howlong has that been?
It is it represents a seismicshift.
I mean, this is what is souncanny to me is that
millennials are the first fullypostmodern generation.
So the rest of us I'm Gen X,and before that, for the last
300 years plus, has been theenlightenment age, the age of
(07:37):
reason, I think.
Therefore, I am so I'm havingthoughts, disembodied
information, right, that's whatthese meta narratives are.
We cut the ham in half becausewe have this idea, this
knowledge that we've always doneit this way.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Right.
And by disembodied I'm askingdo you mean like, where am I in
that?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I am not in that.
I don't know why I can't fullyembrace that, because I'm not
sure where where I exist in that.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Exactly.
I'm not having the same livedexperience that my great
grandmother had, right, right.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Because my oven isn't small.
Yeah, hers was.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Exactly so.
The the beautiful part of thispostmodern generation is they're
coming along and in some ways,taking a wrecking ball to some
of these understood, acceptedmeta narratives and by asking
why, why does it have to be thisway?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
You know, what I think is interesting about that
is that wrecking ball can beseen as a positive or it could
be seen as a negative.
And I think often, when we askwhy, I think that some,
sometimes the person who's who'sreceiving that question, the
person who's being asked thatquestion, um, it seems like it
(09:10):
can be a really personal thingand I'm curious if that's, if
you believe that's part of thereason why there's such a rub
with Jenna.
And well, maybe not Gen X, butthe Enlightenment period versus
the postmodern period is, don'tquestion me.
And it's like, are millennialsthough in Gen Z, are they really
(09:34):
questioning me?
Like, like this young daughterwas not questioning her mother
or her grandmother, she wasquestioning the ham you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Like I wonder if that concept is at play the
rationality of it, the reason,the rationale of it.
You know why are we doing itthis way?
And you're absolutely right,that can feel like a threat to
authorities, to those whoconsider themselves subject
matter experts in a particularfield.
(10:06):
If one of these youngergenerations comes along and says
well, help me understand why dowe do it this way, that can
feel threatening.
But it's the posture of oh, andthis is why a lot of people
have accused these youngergenerations of being
narcissistic and not teamplayers.
(10:27):
Because they're asking thesequestions, they are challenging
some of these metanarratives,and so you're absolutely right,
it's not that they're trying tobuck the system or authority in
a rebellious way.
What they're wanting to do iscreate meaning in their lives.
Because if reality isconstructed, if reality is
(10:52):
subjective and reality is what Isay it is then they're going to
need to be questioning allsorts of things, because it's
all data that's helping thembuild the sense of self, because
it's not bestowed on them, it'screated, and there's pros and
cons to that right, I mean thinkabout the existential angst
(11:14):
that you have when you're incharge of creating your own
reality.
That's a tall order.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Right.
I think an interesting thingabout that whole piece of trying
to create your own reality ortrying to learn your own sense
of identity.
I think it is like you said,there's pros and cons.
I think there's so much beautythere, or potential beauty, to
(11:42):
open yourself up to community,to an understanding of, because
when you think about thegreatest law, there's one, in
one time only, when Jesus isasked a question in the Bible,
that he answers directly with avery direct answer.
It's in all three synopticgospels Matthew, mark and Luke.
(12:03):
And it is okay rabbi, okayteacher.
Of all of these laws, and therewere 613 laws.
So the question was asked ofall of these 613 laws, which one
was the greatest?
And his answer was love.
Thank you, bono, for you, gen Z, or our, our Gen X, is there
out there listening.
Thank you, love is the highestlaw, love the Lord, your God,
(12:27):
with all your heart, soul andmind.
And the second one is much likethe first that you would love
your neighbor, how, in the wayyou love yourself.
It's an inverted sentence.
So it's love God, love yourself, so that you have the capacity
or the knowledge to love others.
And the thing that struck mewhen we were talking about your
(12:49):
research is this generation isreally setting up, not just for
themselves, but for all thegenerations to come behind them.
This question of how do I lovemyself?
Therefore, there is no.
No, that's the pro.
The con can be, I can get stuckon trying to love myself at the
(13:13):
cost of seeing anyone otherthan me, and I think the
narcissism piece is more about Iam going to find my sense of
self through you.
In other words, it's not anindependent endeavor, it's done
through someone else.
Therefore, it's notself-focused, it's others
focused.
I'm asking you to focus on me.
(13:35):
That's more along the lines ofnarcissism, because I don't have
a sense of self in that.
But I think that there's somuch beauty there.
Potential beauty is to set upgenerations to come, and
themselves in generations tocome, of learning to
self-discovery.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Absolutely, absolutely, yes, and it goes
back to that the differencebetween finding it together
through a collaborativerelationship versus these pieces
of knowledge that don't haveany lived experience.
And I think it's a wholedifferent way of looking at the
(14:17):
Christian life, and scripture aswell, because if we're looking
at the Bible as just a set ofproof texts to live a moralistic
life, that is why it's thatthat is causing millennials and
then Gen Z to be some of themost unchurched, de-churched
(14:39):
generations among us.
And in fact that was part of myPhD.
Research is to figure out whymillennials were part of what's
called this dropout phenomenon,and so all of this played into
this.
They're like I have to do allthis stuff just because you're
telling me to.
That's not going to fly, and soinstead, just to your point,
(15:01):
looking at the Christian life asa relationship of love with one
another and with our higherpower.
It's about relationship, it'sabout an incarnational
experience, meaning the Bible isnot just a set of proof texts.
It's a story about a God whocame and lived among us, the
(15:24):
incarnation in relationship withone another, in a mutual way
where, yes, I'm discovering whoI am and then I'm bringing
myself into a friendship, into afamily relationship, and then
let's discover together howwe're going to be in
(15:48):
relationship and how we're goingto learn to love one another in
a healthy way and in a way thatreally taps into how we're
created to be.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I think that's interesting because you think
you take the church, you takeany institution, you take the
workplace.
And somebody was saying that by20, I think it was 2030,
somewhere in there, maybe it was2050, that the whole nine to
five concept will be a conceptof the past.
And I thought to myself why Isound like a millennial.
(16:23):
No, I'm kidding, but why and Ithink it's really pointing to
what your research iselucidating is this is the fact
that, well, why do we do nine tofive?
Why do we have, why do?
Why does work have to look thisway?
And it's that is beingquestioned.
(16:44):
You know, I had somebody say tome I don't want to be when I'm
60 years old or 70 years old, Idon't want to be irrelevant in
the workplace.
And my thought to him was Idon't think you'll be irrelevant
in the workplace If you learnto play well with others that
are several generations youngerthan you.
And it's, in other words, it'slearning to accept those that
(17:06):
are generations younger than youand understand them differently
and not be threatened by them.
And it was interesting.
The conversation that ensuedafter that was yeah, but they
don't do it.
I was like and I finished theirsentence the way you do.
Right, and so can we.
You know, I'm just thinkingabout being an employer, this
(17:29):
group that's coming up, the gen,the millennials, the Gen Z, the
whatever generation is belowthe Gen Z Like, can we be open
to, to walking through the whywith them and if, if, if a
parent is listening of of a, ofa millennial or of a Gen Z, it's
like, well, we didn't do itthat way.
I mean, I don't know how oftendo we hear that in our offices.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, I didn't do it that way, and I mean the reality
is we're going to have to learnbecause the shift has happened
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Like it or not.
Like it or not, here it is.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
The age of reason is over.
Wow, we're in a whole differentepistemological age, which
means how do we know what weknow?
And so we have to learn how tobridge the gap with the
generations.
And I was thinking about this.
It really is, because we can'tthrow the baby out with the
(18:28):
bathwater.
We still need rational mind,information, we need a plumb
line of truth and facts andscientific method of how to
navigate our lives, and so weneed a both and be able to for
(18:51):
these younger generations andthe older generations to come
together and bring the bestparts of both in a way that, in
DBT terms, has us in our wisemind.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Right.
And to describe wise mind, it'sthe.
You have a circle that you thatare.
It's two concentric circles,right, and you have one.
Once again coming back to thefact that was that that wisdom
is really embodying relationship.
It's embodying that connection,it's the both.
(19:47):
And how would you encourage aGen X or a baby boomer
generation, how would youencourage those generations to
interact with the millennialgeneration and the Gen Z?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
That's such a great question understanding that the
younger generations are going toneed collaboration and figuring
things out together.
So, whether it's a parent-childrelationship, a teacher-student
(20:27):
relationship, atherapist-client relationship,
giving the younger generations asafe place to wonder out loud.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
So, in other words, don't be threatened.
Please don't be threatened bythe wonder.
Even if you believe this hasbeen figured out, there's no
need to question this.
It is okay to question that.
That's not a personal attack.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
That's right.
That's right.
And I'm thinking again aboutscripture and how Jesus said I
am the way.
Is truth absolute, right, setin stone, or is it relative?
(21:20):
Is it just all what I say?
It is and constructed.
I think that's the wrongargument.
Jesus said I am the truth.
So truth is a person, truth isthe relationship right.
And the way Jesus operated as aleader was he had disciples and
(21:43):
they did life together.
They walked through lifetogether on a journey, so they
discovered how to love, how tolive life together, how to how
to love how to live lifetogether, how to, in DBT terms,
build a life worth living inrelationship with one another.
And so if parents, teachers andtherapists can take a cue from
(22:03):
the way that Jesus again, thatincarnational way of helping
others, come along with me.
Let's do this together.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You know, the interesting thing about that is
that's doing leadership out likeleadership lived out, and that
is something that I believe weare being called to Like.
This generation is requestingthat.
I want to see you live anauthentic.
(22:34):
If you say that sleep is goodfor me, I want to see you sleep
well too.
If you say that getting all myprotein is good for me, then I
want to see that you do that aswell, and I want to know why.
What is it?
And I agree with you that the,the, the curiosity, but it's
also the well, do you do thesame thing?
(22:54):
The curiosity, but it's also thewell, do you do the same thing?
And there is such a I don'tknow if it's a call to action or
if it's a call to embodiment,Like you keep saying
incarnational.
That's in a call to embodiment,it's the embodying of what you
believe so truly, it's a call toauthenticity.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I was about to say the exact same word authenticity
and I.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I, you know you were talking about the pros and the
cons.
I mean to me, as I've, as I've,as you and I have unpacked your
research and you have really Ikeep using the word, but
elucidated this for me.
I have been more excited aboutthese younger generations.
(23:40):
Like I almost get so fired up Icould run through a brick wall
out of excitement becausethere's so much, like you said.
The authenticity is there.
The connection is there In allthe research I've done on
depression chronic depressionthat comes by way often that
comes by way of early childhoodtrauma which impacts attachment.
(24:05):
Right is all about connecting.
It's all about the therapistconnecting with the person
sitting on the sofa andobviously connecting in
appropriate ways, but it's allinterpersonal.
Absolutely and that is whatwe've seen in the research.
(24:27):
There is that thatinterpersonal connection really
does help decrease depression,and so these millennials and
these Gen Zers are really, Iwould say, intrinsically calling
out for what we're proving inscience is effective.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
That's super encouraging.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And it's this third wave of psychotherapy you know
where.
It's about showing up asyourself, still that
professional relationship anddistance, but bringing yourself
as a therapist into the officeand saying you know what this
skill really works well for metoo, and let me let me tell you
(25:18):
times that I use it in my life.
And that's that's us beingauthentic as people, not just
these authorities, people thatare we're setting ourselves up.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
We say you should use this, therefore use it Exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And they're going go jump in the lake.
Why, you know?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
And so to be able to embody the very healing that
we're trying to offer to ourclients is profound and powerful
.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
It is profound and powerful.
And the beauty again, I meanwhere, with all of the studies,
the research that I've done ison CBASP, and CBASP really has
it embodies a lot of what you'redescribing in that you that the
, the therapeutic relationship,is used as a tool in the session
(26:08):
.
Therefore, if someone isreading your mind or saying,
well, I know what you think it'slike, wait, I don't, I don't
get to be a part of thisconversation.
When that said, I feel left outbecause I don't get to, I don't
get to say what I think.
It's just assumed already.
Where's my place in that?
And what I've seen is that whenI, when, when that process is
(26:33):
engaged with with the, with theperson being treated, that it's
they say, oh my gosh, yeah, myspouse or my partner or my
friend or my mom or my whomever,my other relationships Tell me
I do that to them too.
It's like, yeah, well, can I bea part of this conversation?
(26:54):
Can you let me tell you what Ithink?
And it's bringing thatrelationship into the
therapeutic experience that is Ihave found to be so powerful
and the research has shown to beso powerful and I wonder, I
wonder if that now hang with meas I wonder, as we've been
(27:17):
talking about, I wonder if thereis a way for us to encourage
people bosses, authority figures, parents, teachers, all of all
of those people who are inauthority.
I wonder if there's a way toencourage all of those to ask
(27:40):
questions, maybe a little bitdifferently, meaning, how are
you showing up in this studentemployee, you know, child, um,
how are you showing up in thiswhat?
What's kind of coming up foryou in this, like, in other
words, asking them to show up,like, like inviting them to show
up in the questioning.
(28:00):
And I also wonder if there's aplace of the parent, the
authority figure, to say hey,this is how this is impacting me
, without making the otherperson responsible for their
feelings, because I don't everwant to do that as a therapist,
to make the, the, the, theclient or patient responsible
for my feelings.
That's not it at all.
I just want them to see theimpact that they have on me.
(28:23):
I will handle my feelings, butI want you to see what the
impact is.
I wonder if there's a way forus to display that.
I don't know a better way tosay that.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yes, because at that point the self, the therapist,
the parent, the teacher becomesa tool by their own experience,
their own relationship with theone that they're trying to heal.
Teach, disciple, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Right and that experiential piece is.
I mean, I would imagine thatthat's very much rooted in
postmodernism.
Absolutely Is that it is allabout experience.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yeah, that's really a beautiful way of, I think, of
characterizing this as, like we,we we are being called to a
different experience with thesegenerations, and can we be open
to that experience?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You know, I wonder if a practical example and I'm
asking you a practical exampleof this might be that you know
you have, uh, like, like, let'stake a parenting example.
If you have a kid who made a asI like to call a boneheaded
mistake and, uh, let's say thatthey, um, let's say they snuck
(29:44):
out and you that, you know whereare you in that parent?
As a parent, you probably feelhurt and betrayed.
Why did they go against you?
And it cause it would feelpersonal.
But it may look like askingyour kid what were you after?
(30:05):
Why did you do that?
What?
What were you thinking?
Not in the what were youthinking?
Not in the what were youthinking?
Where it's a rhetorical shamingquestion, but really a what was
the thought pattern behind that?
What were you after?
Because a, I want to find youparent.
I want to first parent.
(30:25):
You got to start with you.
Where are you in that?
Well, I'm hurt.
Okay, don't hand your hurt toyour kid.
Hold on to your hurt, explorethat.
But then let's discover them.
Why did you do the thing thatyou did?
What was it about that?
That was so alluring and andpulled you into it and then,
(30:47):
once they tell you well, itsounded like it would be a good
time.
Okay, can I tell you what thatgood time did to me?
It lowers my trust.
It makes me wonder are you, youknow?
Are you making good decisions?
Like, are you thinking this allthe way through?
And the impact on me is I don'ttrust as much.
(31:09):
Now, therefore, we're going tohave to work to rebuild that
trust.
So I'm wondering is that a?
Is that a reasonable example?
Speaker 2 (31:17):
A great example because it's showing that, hey,
we're in this world together,we're trying to construct this
thing called a loving family,and so in doing that, you're
let's, let's take a look atwhere we're doing it and we're
not doing that together.
And then what's interesting is,like, kind of inherent in that,
(31:39):
is this idea of values, theparents bringing some values,
some implied values, into thatsituation.
We want to be a family thattrusts each other.
We want to be a family that hassome rules that we follow.
So here's the benefit, here'swhy we don't want to throw out
(31:59):
the whole enlightenment thinkingrational part of the equation,
because values, that's ametanarrative right there.
That is this overarching rubricthat we're going to live our
life by.
So we can't just say, okay,millennials, let's just
construct willy-nilly ourreality ground up.
(32:23):
There's still a place for, as afamily, or a school, or a
church or a therapy session, tolive by these overarching values
.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Because when we're living congruent with our values
, that's where we're going tohave a sense of peace inside of
ourselves and in relationshipwith one another.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Which is such a yes.
Thank you for laying all ofthat out, because I'm thinking
from, like, as an employer.
You know, it's the hey, thatdeadline was missed.
And you know it's like wait,employer, before you go in there
and scorch earth on thatyounger employee.
(33:07):
It's like wait, where are you?
Well, I'm left kind of hangingout to dry.
Younger employee it's like wait, where are you?
Well, I'm left kind of hangingout to dry.
Now, now I have to figure outhow to dance around getting this
accomplished.
I was counting on you and so Iwas let down.
And then it's the again.
It's.
We don't go in there with shameand blame, but we go in there
(33:28):
with curiosity and asking likehey, what happened?
Like, help me understand this,because now I'm left high and
dry by you.
Your behavior left me high anddry.
I think there's a distinctionthere.
It's not necessarily comingafter that employee's identity,
but that behavior left me highand dry.
(33:50):
How?
How are we going to fix this?
Because we're going to have tofix this together and I really
need you to step up here with meto figure out how we're going
to get this accomplished.
And so you're what?
What?
What we're suggesting here isthat's more of the embodied, uh
authentic relationship approach,as opposed to the hey you jerk
(34:14):
kid, you didn't do this andyou're in trouble.
I'm going to dock your pay.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Do it because I said so Right.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Sarah, this is so enlightening.
I know we've left theenlightening era and we're in
the postmodern era.
But this is really that.
Your research.
I will just speak from myperspective.
Your research has been sofreeing for me to I'm not a
(34:43):
millennial having so much, somuch wonderful beauty and
excitement to to offer to thisworld.
It has been so encouraging tome.
So thank you for what you'vedone here and just for coming on
(35:08):
and sharing this with us.
Um it.
I hope that this is lifechanging for our listeners.
It we like to end with onepractical piece of wisdom that
someone could walk withthroughout their day.
What's one thing that you couldleave our listeners with that
(35:29):
could encourage them throughouttheir week.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Oh, I love that question, I think, to the
millennials and the Gen Zs inour life.
Listen to them, ask themquestions, be curious about them
first.
I love that.
That's meeting them where theyare.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
And I would.
I would add one thing, ifyou'll allow me to please.
They have so much to teach usand please be open to that which
is what you said.
Be meet them with curiosity, beopen to what they have to say.
That's great, well, thank you,dr Sarah Blakeney.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Thank you for having me.
As always, it is a pleasure toget to spend time with you.
Likewise Thank you Thanks.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
If you found value in our discussion and wish to
uncover more about thefascinating world of mental
wellness, don't forget tosubscribe to the podcast.
Stay tuned for our upcomingepisodes, where Dr Long will
continue to delve intoempowering therapies and
strategies for mental wellness.
Your journey to understandingand embracing mental health is
just beginning and we're excitedto have you with us every step
(36:43):
of the way.
Until next time, keep exploring, keep growing and remember to
celebrate restored freedom asyou uncover it.
Welcome to Restoration Beyond the Couch.
I'm Dr Lee Long and in today'sepisode I'm joined by Dr Sarah
Blakeney, one of our counselorshere at Restoration and the
author of Calling Out the GoldEquipping Millennials to be the
Next Church Leaders.
In this conversation we take acloser look at generational
(00:24):
shifts, especially the uniquevalues, challenges and strengths
of millennials.
From leadership and purpose tomental wellness and faith.
We'll explore what it means tosupport and empower the next
generation.
Your path to mental wellnessstarts here.
Welcome, dr Sarah Blakeney.
(00:48):
It is so good to have you withus today.
I am excited for you to sharewith our audience your research
on the impacts that therelationship between different
generations and would you well,first of all, welcome.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
And you are a therapist here with us at
Restoration and you work withmarriages, families.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And also part of your illustrious DBT program.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yes, we do love our DBT don't we.
So talk to us about.
Can you give us a quickoverview about your research and
just what was the inspirationin you?
Wanting to understand thedifferent generations and the
impact that differentgenerations have on one another?
And you can illuminate muchbetter or elucidate much better
(01:42):
than I on your research.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
First of all, this is so fun todo this with you Awesome, so
I'm glad to be here.
Yeah, so most of my career,whether it's been in counseling
or church ministry, has beenwith the millennial generation.
So I started out in youthministry back in the 90s when
(02:06):
millennials were in high schooland I've just sort of followed
millennials throughout my careerand I noticed right away that
millennials were different fromother generations and I couldn't
quite put my finger on it, butI knew that they were really
always excited to roll up theirsleeves and get involved in the
(02:29):
activities the world around themsocial justice, whatever the
cause was they wanted to be apart of.
They were also really quick toquestion any metanarratives,
anything that was assumed to bea given in life, and so, being
in church ministry, that was alot of times in the institution
(02:52):
of the church, them asking well,why, why does it have to be
this way?
And really wanting to figure itout at a grassroots level, like
in a collaborative way.
Can we do life together andfigure this out together, as
opposed to an authoritydisseminating information and
(03:14):
just like telling them how it'sgoing to be and them accepting
that.
So I've seen it both inChristian ministry and in
counseling, where the clientswant to collaborate with me to,
as we say in DBT, build a lifeworth living for themselves.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Right.
You know that that's one of thethings that I think I have
enjoyed learning from yourperspective is you hear a lot of
criticisms of, oh, that's amillennial way of going about it
and it seems to be a negative,a negative sentiment.
And I think that one of thethings that I love about what
(03:52):
you've done is is that you'veactually illuminated something
that I think this generationreally is teaching us,
especially about relationships,like why there was a, there was
somebody, that there was an oldstory that somebody told me that
you know, a woman was waspreparing for Christmas dinner
(04:15):
and she cut the ham in half andher daughter asked mom, why do
you cut the ham in half?
She was like, well, uh, yeah,that's a good question.
I don't know, let's ask yourgrandmother.
And so they asked thegrandmother, who was still
living, and she said mom, why dowe cut the ham in half?
She goes oh well, because whenI was growing up, the oven that
(04:35):
we had was really small, so wehad to do it so it would fit.
And the the mother neverquestioned it, she just went
with the dissemination of we cutthe ham in half and the
daughter questioned it and itwas like oh, so I don't have to
cut this ham in half, and Ithought that was really and it
was an.
It was an interesting thingthat I you know that.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yes that.
So your ham analogy is so goodbecause it's representative of
one of these meta narrativesright, these, one of these
stories, one of these conceptsthat we hold as truth.
And why?
Because it's always been donethat way.
And so, what's interesting,when I was doing my PhD research
(05:16):
, I was really taking a look atmillennials and now Gen Z, who
are very unique as generationsbecause they are the first fully
postmodern generations, andwhat postmodernism means is that
they reject thesemetanarratives.
(05:37):
So, in other words, whenthey're going through life and
someone who's an authority sayswell, we cut the ham in half.
They're like well, why?
Well, because it's always beendone that way.
No, that's speaking a differentlanguage to them.
For postmodernism, reality isconstructed is constructed.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So would it be safe to say that there's
postmodernism is wrapped up inthe whole idea of my perception?
Is my reality Like?
Is that rooted in postmodernism?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Absolutely Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Which is, you know, in a counseling context that
really jives, because you wantto validate someone's subjective
reality as a starting point forworking with them, you know,
and then being able to challengefrom there.
But the first step is tovalidate that, and so you know
(06:43):
that's my train of thought.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I think that's really interesting to to conceptualize
it from that place, of it beingsuch a subjective experience,
right, because you know the, thecause, cause, how, how long of
a.
I mean this postmodernism, thisis brand new.
I mean, has there been fromfrom what you've, from what
(07:12):
you've uncovered?
Has there been?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
that big of a of a mindset shift or a worldview
shift in generations, Like howlong has that been?
It is it represents a seismicshift.
I mean, this is what is souncanny to me is that
millennials are the first fullypostmodern generation.
So the rest of us I'm Gen X,and before that, for the last
300 years plus, has been theenlightenment age, the age of
(07:37):
reason, I think.
Therefore, I am so I'm havingthoughts, disembodied
information, right, that's whatthese meta narratives are.
We cut the ham in half becausewe have this idea, this
knowledge that we've always doneit this way.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Right.
And by disembodied I'm askingdo you mean like, where am I in
that?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I am not in that.
I don't know why I can't fullyembrace that, because I'm not
sure where where I exist in that.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Exactly.
I'm not having the same livedexperience that my great
grandmother had, right, right.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Because my oven isn't small.
Yeah, hers was.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Exactly so.
The the beautiful part of thispostmodern generation is they're
coming along and in some ways,taking a wrecking ball to some
of these understood, acceptedmeta narratives and by asking
why, why does it have to be thisway?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
You know, what I think is interesting about that
is that wrecking ball can beseen as a positive or it could
be seen as a negative.
And I think often, when we askwhy, I think that some,
sometimes the person who's who'sreceiving that question, the
person who's being asked thatquestion, um, it seems like it
(09:10):
can be a really personal thingand I'm curious if that's, if
you believe that's part of thereason why there's such a rub
with Jenna.
And well, maybe not Gen X, butthe Enlightenment period versus
the postmodern period is, don'tquestion me.
And it's like, are millennialsthough in Gen Z, are they really
(09:34):
questioning me?
Like, like this young daughterwas not questioning her mother
or her grandmother, she wasquestioning the ham you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Like I wonder if that concept is at play the
rationality of it, the reason,the rationale of it.
You know why are we doing itthis way?
And you're absolutely right,that can feel like a threat to
authorities, to those whoconsider themselves subject
matter experts in a particularfield.
(10:06):
If one of these youngergenerations comes along and says
well, help me understand why dowe do it this way, that can
feel threatening.
But it's the posture of oh, andthis is why a lot of people
have accused these youngergenerations of being
narcissistic and not teamplayers.
(10:27):
Because they're asking thesequestions, they are challenging
some of these metanarratives,and so you're absolutely right,
it's not that they're trying tobuck the system or authority in
a rebellious way.
What they're wanting to do iscreate meaning in their lives.
Because if reality isconstructed, if reality is
(10:52):
subjective and reality is what Isay it is then they're going to
need to be questioning allsorts of things, because it's
all data that's helping thembuild the sense of self, because
it's not bestowed on them, it'screated, and there's pros and
cons to that right, I mean thinkabout the existential angst
(11:14):
that you have when you're incharge of creating your own
reality.
That's a tall order.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Right.
I think an interesting thingabout that whole piece of trying
to create your own reality ortrying to learn your own sense
of identity.
I think it is like you said,there's pros and cons.
I think there's so much beautythere, or potential beauty, to
(11:42):
open yourself up to community,to an understanding of, because
when you think about thegreatest law, there's one, in
one time only, when Jesus isasked a question in the Bible,
that he answers directly with avery direct answer.
It's in all three synopticgospels Matthew, mark and Luke.
(12:03):
And it is okay rabbi, okayteacher.
Of all of these laws, and therewere 613 laws.
So the question was asked ofall of these 613 laws, which one
was the greatest?
And his answer was love.
Thank you, bono, for you, gen Z, or our, our Gen X, is there
out there listening.
Thank you, love is the highestlaw, love the Lord, your God,
(12:27):
with all your heart, soul andmind.
And the second one is much likethe first that you would love
your neighbor, how, in the wayyou love yourself.
It's an inverted sentence.
So it's love God, love yourself, so that you have the capacity
or the knowledge to love others.
And the thing that struck mewhen we were talking about your
(12:49):
research is this generation isreally setting up, not just for
themselves, but for all thegenerations to come behind them.
This question of how do I lovemyself?
Therefore, there is no.
No, that's the pro.
The con can be, I can get stuckon trying to love myself at the
(13:13):
cost of seeing anyone otherthan me, and I think the
narcissism piece is more about Iam going to find my sense of
self through you.
In other words, it's not anindependent endeavor, it's done
through someone else.
Therefore, it's notself-focused, it's others
focused.
I'm asking you to focus on me.
(13:35):
That's more along the lines ofnarcissism, because I don't have
a sense of self in that.
But I think that there's somuch beauty there.
Potential beauty is to set upgenerations to come, and
themselves in generations tocome, of learning to
self-discovery.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Absolutely, absolutely, yes, and it goes
back to that the differencebetween finding it together
through a collaborativerelationship versus these pieces
of knowledge that don't haveany lived experience.
And I think it's a wholedifferent way of looking at the
(14:17):
Christian life, and scripture aswell, because if we're looking
at the Bible as just a set ofproof texts to live a moralistic
life, that is why it's thatthat is causing millennials and
then Gen Z to be some of themost unchurched, de-churched
(14:39):
generations among us.
And in fact that was part of myPhD.
Research is to figure out whymillennials were part of what's
called this dropout phenomenon,and so all of this played into
this.
They're like I have to do allthis stuff just because you're
telling me to.
That's not going to fly, and soinstead, just to your point,
(15:01):
looking at the Christian life asa relationship of love with one
another and with our higherpower.
It's about relationship, it'sabout an incarnational
experience, meaning the Bible isnot just a set of proof texts.
It's a story about a God whocame and lived among us, the
(15:24):
incarnation in relationship withone another, in a mutual way
where, yes, I'm discovering whoI am and then I'm bringing
myself into a friendship, into afamily relationship, and then
let's discover together howwe're going to be in
(15:48):
relationship and how we're goingto learn to love one another in
a healthy way and in a way thatreally taps into how we're
created to be.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I think that's interesting because you think
you take the church, you takeany institution, you take the
workplace.
And somebody was saying that by20, I think it was 2030,
somewhere in there, maybe it was2050, that the whole nine to
five concept will be a conceptof the past.
And I thought to myself why Isound like a millennial.
(16:23):
No, I'm kidding, but why and Ithink it's really pointing to
what your research iselucidating is this is the fact
that, well, why do we do nine tofive?
Why do we have, why do?
Why does work have to look thisway?
And it's that is beingquestioned.
(16:44):
You know, I had somebody say tome I don't want to be when I'm
60 years old or 70 years old, Idon't want to be irrelevant in
the workplace.
And my thought to him was Idon't think you'll be irrelevant
in the workplace If you learnto play well with others that
are several generations youngerthan you.
And it's, in other words, it'slearning to accept those that
(17:06):
are generations younger than youand understand them differently
and not be threatened by them.
And it was interesting.
The conversation that ensuedafter that was yeah, but they
don't do it.
I was like and I finished theirsentence the way you do.
Right, and so can we.
You know, I'm just thinkingabout being an employer, this
(17:29):
group that's coming up, the gen,the millennials, the Gen Z, the
whatever generation is belowthe Gen Z Like, can we be open
to, to walking through the whywith them and if, if, if a
parent is listening of of a, ofa millennial or of a Gen Z, it's
like, well, we didn't do itthat way.
I mean, I don't know how oftendo we hear that in our offices.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, I didn't do it that way, and I mean the reality
is we're going to have to learnbecause the shift has happened
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Like it or not.
Like it or not, here it is.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
The age of reason is over.
Wow, we're in a whole differentepistemological age, which
means how do we know what weknow?
And so we have to learn how tobridge the gap with the
generations.
And I was thinking about this.
It really is, because we can'tthrow the baby out with the
(18:28):
bathwater.
We still need rational mind,information, we need a plumb
line of truth and facts andscientific method of how to
navigate our lives, and so weneed a both and be able to for
(18:51):
these younger generations andthe older generations to come
together and bring the bestparts of both in a way that, in
DBT terms, has us in our wisemind.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Right.
And to describe wise mind, it'sthe.
You have a circle that you thatare.
It's two concentric circles,right, and you have one.
Once again coming back to thefact that was that that wisdom
is really embodying relationship.
It's embodying that connection,it's the both.
(19:47):
And how would you encourage aGen X or a baby boomer
generation, how would youencourage those generations to
interact with the millennialgeneration and the Gen Z?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
That's such a great question understanding that the
younger generations are going toneed collaboration and figuring
things out together.
So, whether it's a parent-childrelationship, a teacher-student
(20:27):
relationship, atherapist-client relationship,
giving the younger generations asafe place to wonder out loud.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
So, in other words, don't be threatened.
Please don't be threatened bythe wonder.
Even if you believe this hasbeen figured out, there's no
need to question this.
It is okay to question that.
That's not a personal attack.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
That's right.
That's right.
And I'm thinking again aboutscripture and how Jesus said I
am the way.
Is truth absolute, right, setin stone, or is it relative?
(21:20):
Is it just all what I say?
It is and constructed.
I think that's the wrongargument.
Jesus said I am the truth.
So truth is a person, truth isthe relationship right.
And the way Jesus operated as aleader was he had disciples and
(21:43):
they did life together.
They walked through lifetogether on a journey, so they
discovered how to love, how tolive life together, how to how
to love how to live lifetogether, how to, in DBT terms,
build a life worth living inrelationship with one another.
And so if parents, teachers andtherapists can take a cue from
(22:03):
the way that Jesus again, thatincarnational way of helping
others, come along with me.
Let's do this together.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You know, the interesting thing about that is
that's doing leadership out likeleadership lived out, and that
is something that I believe weare being called to Like.
This generation is requestingthat.
I want to see you live anauthentic.
(22:34):
If you say that sleep is goodfor me, I want to see you sleep
well too.
If you say that getting all myprotein is good for me, then I
want to see that you do that aswell, and I want to know why.
What is it?
And I agree with you that the,the, the curiosity, but it's
also the well, do you do thesame thing?
(22:54):
The curiosity, but it's also thewell, do you do the same thing?
And there is such a I don'tknow if it's a call to action or
if it's a call to embodiment,Like you keep saying
incarnational.
That's in a call to embodiment,it's the embodying of what you
believe so truly, it's a call toauthenticity.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I was about to say the exact same word authenticity
and I.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I, you know you were talking about the pros and the
cons.
I mean to me, as I've, as I've,as you and I have unpacked your
research and you have really Ikeep using the word, but
elucidated this for me.
I have been more excited aboutthese younger generations.
(23:40):
Like I almost get so fired up Icould run through a brick wall
out of excitement becausethere's so much, like you said.
The authenticity is there.
The connection is there In allthe research I've done on
depression chronic depressionthat comes by way often that
comes by way of early childhoodtrauma which impacts attachment.
(24:05):
Right is all about connecting.
It's all about the therapistconnecting with the person
sitting on the sofa andobviously connecting in
appropriate ways, but it's allinterpersonal.
Absolutely and that is whatwe've seen in the research.
(24:27):
There is that thatinterpersonal connection really
does help decrease depression,and so these millennials and
these Gen Zers are really, Iwould say, intrinsically calling
out for what we're proving inscience is effective.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
That's super encouraging.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And it's this third wave of psychotherapy you know
where.
It's about showing up asyourself, still that
professional relationship anddistance, but bringing yourself
as a therapist into the officeand saying you know what this
skill really works well for metoo, and let me let me tell you
(25:18):
times that I use it in my life.
And that's that's us beingauthentic as people, not just
these authorities, people thatare we're setting ourselves up.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
We say you should use this, therefore use it Exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And they're going go jump in the lake.
Why, you know?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
And so to be able to embody the very healing that
we're trying to offer to ourclients is profound and powerful
.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
It is profound and powerful.
And the beauty again, I meanwhere, with all of the studies,
the research that I've done ison CBASP, and CBASP really has
it embodies a lot of what you'redescribing in that you that the
, the therapeutic relationship,is used as a tool in the session
(26:08):
.
Therefore, if someone isreading your mind or saying,
well, I know what you think it'slike, wait, I don't, I don't
get to be a part of thisconversation.
When that said, I feel left outbecause I don't get to, I don't
get to say what I think.
It's just assumed already.
Where's my place in that?
And what I've seen is that whenI, when, when that process is
(26:33):
engaged with with the, with theperson being treated, that it's
they say, oh my gosh, yeah, myspouse or my partner or my
friend or my mom or my whomever,my other relationships Tell me
I do that to them too.
It's like, yeah, well, can I bea part of this conversation?
(26:54):
Can you let me tell you what Ithink?
And it's bringing thatrelationship into the
therapeutic experience that is Ihave found to be so powerful
and the research has shown to beso powerful and I wonder, I
wonder if that now hang with meas I wonder, as we've been
(27:17):
talking about, I wonder if thereis a way for us to encourage
people bosses, authority figures, parents, teachers, all of all
of those people who are inauthority.
I wonder if there's a way toencourage all of those to ask
(27:40):
questions, maybe a little bitdifferently, meaning, how are
you showing up in this studentemployee, you know, child, um,
how are you showing up in thiswhat?
What's kind of coming up foryou in this, like, in other
words, asking them to show up,like, like inviting them to show
up in the questioning.
(28:00):
And I also wonder if there's aplace of the parent, the
authority figure, to say hey,this is how this is impacting me
, without making the otherperson responsible for their
feelings, because I don't everwant to do that as a therapist,
to make the, the, the, theclient or patient responsible
for my feelings.
That's not it at all.
I just want them to see theimpact that they have on me.
(28:23):
I will handle my feelings, butI want you to see what the
impact is.
I wonder if there's a way forus to display that.
I don't know a better way tosay that.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yes, because at that point the self, the therapist,
the parent, the teacher becomesa tool by their own experience,
their own relationship with theone that they're trying to heal.
Teach, disciple, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Right and that experiential piece is.
I mean, I would imagine thatthat's very much rooted in
postmodernism.
Absolutely Is that it is allabout experience.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yeah, that's really a beautiful way of, I think, of
characterizing this as, like we,we we are being called to a
different experience with thesegenerations, and can we be open
to that experience?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You know, I wonder if a practical example and I'm
asking you a practical exampleof this might be that you know
you have, uh, like, like, let'stake a parenting example.
If you have a kid who made a asI like to call a boneheaded
mistake and, uh, let's say thatthey, um, let's say they snuck
(29:44):
out and you that, you know whereare you in that parent?
As a parent, you probably feelhurt and betrayed.
Why did they go against you?
And it cause it would feelpersonal.
But it may look like askingyour kid what were you after?
(30:05):
Why did you do that?
What?
What were you thinking?
Not in the what were youthinking?
Not in the what were youthinking?
Where it's a rhetorical shamingquestion, but really a what was
the thought pattern behind that?
What were you after?
Because a, I want to find youparent.
I want to first parent.
(30:25):
You got to start with you.
Where are you in that?
Well, I'm hurt.
Okay, don't hand your hurt toyour kid.
Hold on to your hurt, explorethat.
But then let's discover them.
Why did you do the thing thatyou did?
What was it about that?
That was so alluring and andpulled you into it and then,
(30:47):
once they tell you well, itsounded like it would be a good
time.
Okay, can I tell you what thatgood time did to me?
It lowers my trust.
It makes me wonder are you, youknow?
Are you making good decisions?
Like, are you thinking this allthe way through?
And the impact on me is I don'ttrust as much.
(31:09):
Now, therefore, we're going tohave to work to rebuild that
trust.
So I'm wondering is that a?
Is that a reasonable example?
Speaker 2 (31:17):
A great example because it's showing that, hey,
we're in this world together,we're trying to construct this
thing called a loving family,and so in doing that, you're
let's, let's take a look atwhere we're doing it and we're
not doing that together.
And then what's interesting is,like, kind of inherent in that,
(31:39):
is this idea of values, theparents bringing some values,
some implied values, into thatsituation.
We want to be a family thattrusts each other.
We want to be a family that hassome rules that we follow.
So here's the benefit, here'swhy we don't want to throw out
(31:59):
the whole enlightenment thinkingrational part of the equation,
because values, that's ametanarrative right there.
That is this overarching rubricthat we're going to live our
life by.
So we can't just say, okay,millennials, let's just
construct willy-nilly ourreality ground up.
(32:23):
There's still a place for, as afamily, or a school, or a
church or a therapy session, tolive by these overarching values
.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Because when we're living congruent with our values
, that's where we're going tohave a sense of peace inside of
ourselves and in relationshipwith one another.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Which is such a yes.
Thank you for laying all ofthat out, because I'm thinking
from, like, as an employer.
You know, it's the hey, thatdeadline was missed.
And you know it's like wait,employer, before you go in there
and scorch earth on thatyounger employee.
(33:07):
It's like wait, where are you?
Well, I'm left kind of hangingout to dry.
Younger employee it's like wait, where are you?
Well, I'm left kind of hangingout to dry.
Now, now I have to figure outhow to dance around getting this
accomplished.
I was counting on you and so Iwas let down.
And then it's the again.
It's.
We don't go in there with shameand blame, but we go in there
(33:28):
with curiosity and asking likehey, what happened?
Like, help me understand this,because now I'm left high and
dry by you.
Your behavior left me high anddry.
I think there's a distinctionthere.
It's not necessarily comingafter that employee's identity,
but that behavior left me highand dry.
(33:50):
How?
How are we going to fix this?
Because we're going to have tofix this together and I really
need you to step up here with meto figure out how we're going
to get this accomplished.
And so you're what?
What?
What we're suggesting here isthat's more of the embodied, uh
authentic relationship approach,as opposed to the hey you jerk
(34:14):
kid, you didn't do this andyou're in trouble.
I'm going to dock your pay.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Do it because I said so Right.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Sarah, this is so enlightening.
I know we've left theenlightening era and we're in
the postmodern era.
But this is really that.
Your research.
I will just speak from myperspective.
Your research has been sofreeing for me to I'm not a
(34:43):
millennial having so much, somuch wonderful beauty and
excitement to to offer to thisworld.
It has been so encouraging tome.
So thank you for what you'vedone here and just for coming on
(35:08):
and sharing this with us.
Um it.
I hope that this is lifechanging for our listeners.
It we like to end with onepractical piece of wisdom that
someone could walk withthroughout their day.
What's one thing that you couldleave our listeners with that
(35:29):
could encourage them throughouttheir week.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Oh, I love that question, I think, to the
millennials and the Gen Zs inour life.
Listen to them, ask themquestions, be curious about them
first.
I love that.
That's meeting them where theyare.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
And I would.
I would add one thing, ifyou'll allow me to please.
They have so much to teach usand please be open to that which
is what you said.
Be meet them with curiosity, beopen to what they have to say.
That's great, well, thank you,dr Sarah Blakeney.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Thank you for having me.
As always, it is a pleasure toget to spend time with you.
Likewise Thank you Thanks.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
If you found value in our discussion and wish to
uncover more about thefascinating world of mental
wellness, don't forget tosubscribe to the podcast.
Stay tuned for our upcomingepisodes, where Dr Long will
continue to delve intoempowering therapies and
strategies for mental wellness.
Your journey to understandingand embracing mental health is
just beginning and we're excitedto have you with us every step
(36:43):
of the way.
Until next time, keep exploring, keep growing and remember to
celebrate restored freedom asyou uncover it.
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