November 3, 2023 • 58 mins
Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive'? Meet Barbara Shelton, a transformational coach, speaker, and author who knows all about it. Growing up, she was often labeled as overly sensitive. After suppressing her unique qualities to pursue a successful IT career, she experienced severe burnout. It was then that Barbara realized she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and began to see her sensitivity as a strength and not a weakness.
We journey with Barbara, discussing the trials and triumphs of being an HSP. She offers insights into how HSPs interpret the world around them, and how they can leverage their empathetic and intuitive skills. Prepare to learn about strategies for self-care, handling overwhelm, and the potency of understanding one's sensitivity. Get ready to discover the power within adversity, and how it can serve as a catalyst for personal growth.
Barbara offers wisdom from her own experiences, underlining the importance of seeking help and stepping out from comfort zones to invite exciting new possibilities. We discuss the significance of protecting and embracing your sensitivity, living authentically, and staying alert to manipulation. Be motivated by Barbara's advice on staying true to yourself and progressing as an HSP. This conversation could be an enlightening turning point for you as it was for Barbara. So, tune in, join the conversation, and embrace your unique sensitivity!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hey you, wherever you are in the world right now.
Thank you so much for beinghere with me today.
We know that we're living insome volatile times and we know
that the world is changing.
So let's create a bridge as wetravel through one another's
countries, removing all labels,coming together as one people,
(00:34):
finding our home as one world,and as we do this, this is why
our signature talk today how toRise Up is so important.
And today I'm super excited towelcome my guest speaker,
Barbara Shelton.
Hi, Barbara.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hi Catherine, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I'm so excited to have this talk with you today
and I invite our audience justto settle in as we jump into
this conversation.
And Barbara is a coach and sheactually is a transformational
coach, a speaker and an author.
She specializes in helpingpeople who feel they don't fit
(01:15):
in to be their authentic self,to find their unique voice and
to connect with their soul'smission so they finally find
their place in this world andtheir calling becomes their
soulful, profitable business.
So this is a lot to take,because I think this process is
so hard to do.
(01:36):
Right, to get into youralignment with your authentic
self, your soul self.
But let me ask you, how did youget to this space that you're
actually doing this kind ofcoaching with people?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh, that is an excellent question.
And that obviously didn'thappen from yesterday until
today.
It started already.
When I was very young I got toldby my parents and my teachers
that I was too sensitive andthat I needed to learn to grow a
thicker skin, that I shouldn'ttake things so personally, that
I should learn to let things gomore.
(02:12):
And in hearing those words Isort of create this image that I
am not good enough the way I am, that people will not accept me
if I am who I am.
And in that moment I decide tosuppress a really big part of
myself and to survive all mypowers of reasoning.
So I suppressed the sensitiveside, I suppressed the quirky
(02:35):
side, I suppressed the weirdnessthat is me and that makes me
unique.
Because I thought that peoplewouldn't like me if I showed
that to them and that theywouldn't want to be friends with
me or didn't want to accept me.
And that was at a very youngage and that continued on
through my middle school andhigh school.
(02:57):
I got bullied a lot, I gotpicked on a lot, further
reinforcing that people don'tlike me when I am myself and
that there was something wrongwith me.
There was a time that I reallyseriously thought that there was
something wrong with me.
And if you then fast forward towhen I was 32 and I was working
in IT as a project manager, Iwas working a very difficult
(03:19):
project and after months andmonths of stress and being at
the tips of your toes and barelymanaging to keep everything in
the air all the balls up myboyfriend of seven years
suddenly ends our relationship.
I didn't see it coming.
There were no signs.
He just gets up one evening andtells me you know, I'm done
(03:41):
with this relationship and Iwant you to move out by the end
of the week.
And then everything camecrashing down and I ended up in
a severe burnout and all of asudden was confronted with a lot
of emotions and stuff I didn'tknow how to handle because I had
suppressed most of my emotionsfor most of my life and in that
(04:04):
burnout there was no way aroundit.
I was exhausted, I was empty, Iwas crying nonstop and I didn't
know anything anymore.
I didn't know what was up, Ididn't know what was down, I
didn't know what to do.
I didn't know how to get out ofit.
I was very disappointed inmyself.
I felt like I had let everybodydown.
(04:26):
I didn't see a way out.
And it is in that time that Idiscovered that I am a highly
sensitive person and I neverknew that before.
And the moment I found out andstarted to investigate what that
meant for me but also ingeneral, you know, it felt like
(04:47):
I was coming home to myself.
It opened up a whole new worldof insight into myself, in
discovering things about myselfand understanding things about
myself that I previously justdidn't know and didn't
understand.
And that was the beginning ofwhat I am doing right now.
(05:08):
That was the beginning ofgetting to know my own user
manual, knowing what makes metick, knowing what high
sensitivity means, especiallyfor me.
Also finding out that, besideshighly sensitive, I am a lot
more.
I'm also highly gifted, I'm ahigh sensation seeker, I'm an
extroverted introvert.
Basically, I am what I say,that I help.
(05:29):
I am an intuitive, ambitiousalien.
These moments were the start ofwhat I do right now.
In that period I discovered thatabout 20% of the world's
population is highly sensitive.
That means that we literallyhear more, see more, smell more,
feel more, taste more andexperience more, but it also
(05:51):
means that we get a lot moreinformation.
Then we process all thatinformation on a much higher
speed and also much, much deeper.
That brings with it its own setof challenges.
I discovered that the way intoa burnout for a highly sensitive
person is completely differentthan for a non-highly sensitive
(06:14):
person, but also the way out ofit is completely different.
That was where I first startedmy entrepreneurial journey doing
a lot for highly sensitivepeople with a burnout.
The more I started working withhighly sensitive people, the
more highly sensitive peoplecame into my practice.
I discovered that most of usdon't know that we are highly
(06:38):
sensitive.
The ones that do, about halfdon't want to call themselves
highly sensitive and most of usdon't want to be us.
We have learned to put on masksa mask for when you are with
friends, a mask for when you arewith family, a mask for when
(06:59):
you go to work, and we show theworld all different versions of
ourselves that we think thatthey want us to be or that we
think that they will accept,want to be friends with, can
love, and what usually happensis that we cannot keep up not
(07:19):
being ourselves.
So inevitably there comes atime when you hit rock bottom.
You constantly are confrontedwith the same type of situation
over and over again, until youcome to realize that you cannot
go on the way you are living,you cannot go on the way you are
(07:41):
going and something needs tochange.
And that's where I come in.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So, holy cow, that was a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot.
I mean, their journey has beenincredible as far as the process
, but I have to take a couple ofsteps back because I have some
questions in regards to thepeople in the audience who don't
know exactly what that means tobe a highly sensitive person.
(08:10):
I know that's a term that Ithink is relatively new as far
as societal norms and peopleunderstanding what that means,
especially for people that maybeare not in a space of
understanding that intuitivefactor or what energy really
(08:32):
involves or what that means.
So if you could just take astep back and just help the
audience understand what ahighly sensitive person means.
I know you talked a little bitabout having deeper feelings
around things, but can you justpull back a little bit more into
what that means exactly forsomeone who's highly sensitive?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yes, Well, the term highly sensitive was thought of
by its founder, elaine Aaron, inthe 1990s, so it's been around
now for 30 years.
She's done a lot of research init and what I said?
It's literally hearing more,feeling more, tasting more,
smelling more, experiencing more, and then processing all that
(09:15):
information on a much deeperlevel.
That's the official explanationof what high sensitivity means,
but in practice it means thatwe have this huge problem with
injustice.
Whenever we feel that somethingis being done to us or to
someone we love, or to animalsor children, the innocent, we
(09:37):
feel very strongly and verypassionately about it.
We cannot handle injustice.
That's one element of it.
Another aspect of it is that wetend to be perfectionists, so
we raise the bar really high,and especially for ourselves.
So good is often not goodenough, and we push ourselves to
(09:58):
high standards.
And we also love taking care ofother people and we are so
focused on other people andmaking their lives better and
being there for other peoplethat we tend to forget about
ourselves and our own needs.
So it's like what this tourdoes in the plane If the
(10:19):
airplane goes down, you firstneed to put on your own oxygen
mask before you can helpsomebody else.
We are the people thatcompletely forget about the
oxygen mask and try to save asmany people as we can, while
dying ourselves in the process.
If I put it crudely, that'sbasically what high sensitivity
is and what high sensitivitypeople do.
So it's a characteristic.
(10:43):
It's the same characteristic asyour hair color or your eye
color.
So I want to stress it's not adisease, it's not an inflection,
it's not something you can getrid of.
It's something that you areborn with.
That is hereditary.
It comes from your parents.
Either your father or yourmother is the one that passed it
(11:06):
down to you.
Sometimes it skips a generation, so it can also be from your
grandparents, but usually it'sfrom your parents.
In practice, many people findthat they get overwhelmed very
quickly, that they are exhausted, because you can imagine if so
(11:26):
much more information is comingin, then that can also easily
tire you and exhaust you if youdon't know how to handle it.
We can also take over otherpeople's energy and emotions
like they are our own and we canread between the lines.
So when people are telling astory, we can actually
intuitively feel what it is thatthey are not saying.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
How does that work, though?
How does somebody intuitivelyhave this energy transfer or
have this extra ability, I guess, to feel this energy?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Well, what they've discovered, because they did a
lot of research into it, is thatour nervous system is wired
differently.
So they put a highly sensitiveperson and a non-highly
sensitive person on renammari.
They showed them the samevideos, photos and audio
fragments.
What they then see is that forthe highly sensitive person, a
(12:27):
lot more areas of the brainlight up than for the non-highly
sensitive person, and actuallyit's been something that's been
around for ages.
It was already there in cavemenarea.
It's also in the animal kingdom.
You see it very much withanimals that have a lookout.
Those are the ones that sensedanger, that are constantly
(12:51):
looking and scouting to see ifthe rest of the group is still
safe and if a predator is coming, and then they warn the rest of
the group that danger is coming.
So it's a very useful trait tohave, not only in protecting the
people that you're with, butit's also very useful for
yourself, because it comes withits own set of well I like to
(13:14):
call superpowers, in the form ofinfallible intuition and great
empathy and the ability to formgenuine human connections, for
instance.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's really intriguing because you hear
about people that are moreadverse to going to, like
haunted houses and things likethat, and it's probably, you
know, they probably can feelsome of that energy, right that
from the home and things likethat, whereas other people they
have no problem in just walkinginto that space and it doesn't
(13:50):
affect them, they don't have anykind of association with it or
anything like that.
I actually am one of thosepeople like you that I do have
that ability to feel things andprobably am a higher sensitive,
you know, person in that sensebecause I will, my body,
(14:11):
physically, will react if I amin the presence of somebody that
is off I like to say quote,unquote, off because you know
their energy level is maybesomething that is not of a
vibration of love or higher.
It's probably something that isa lower vibration and has an
(14:34):
association to some sort ofsomething that isn't in the
light of goodness, right.
So it's not that my kids willshare, you know, share with
anybody that their mom needs tohave happy in her life, because
other than happy it's notworking and I do feel the
(14:55):
effects of that.
So I totally can understandthat.
But as far as your and thankyou for sharing a little bit
more of a deeper dive with theMRI, because I didn't even know
that.
So that's really intriguing tome as far as that is concerned.
But I find it interesting toobecause I know there's been a
lot of studies aroundindividuals who are very
(15:21):
involved in religion and thoseparticular people that do a lot
of praying and a lot of prayerwork with their religion.
They actually are reallysensitive people too, from my
understanding.
So I think that's aninteresting connection as well,
that you know there is thiscorrelation there and people are
(15:44):
, you know, they turn toreligion a lot.
So right now we're living in,you know, this really
interesting time where the globeis just going through this
adversity and there's a lot ofpsychological trauma, there's a
lot of, you know, grief that'sassociated with it and people
(16:04):
are really scared and they'reunsure of, you know, what the
future is and they're feelinganxious.
So it's interesting because aswe walk into the world today,
it's like everybody is reactingin a different way and I know
I'm seeing around me a lot ofpeople just saying they feel
this heaviness, they feel thisstrain, they feel like, you know
(16:28):
, things are just evolving insuch a way that it's difficult
for them to kind of lighten uphow they're feeling.
So I can understand for highlysensitive people.
This is probably a verydraining time for a lot of
(16:48):
people.
What I mean, what advice do youhave for that?
Like, what advice do you havefor those individuals who are
just feeling the heaviness ofthe world and the environment
and everything that's going onaround them?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That's also an excellent question.
You know, a lot of highlysensitive people go into a
profession that allows them tolead the people to a better
place or a new world, or howeveryou want to call it, and a lot
of them call themselves starseats or light workers or dark
workers, and we sense thechanges in the universe and also
(17:28):
the changes in the planet.
And since COVID hit, a lot ofpeople have been home and a lot
of people have been anxious andscared, and we sense all this
growing anxiety, this growingfear.
That's much further than justthe people around you.
It's collective, it's worldwideand it can definitely feel very
(17:50):
, very heavy.
The energy can feel very heavyand that will do a lot,
especially with sensitive people.
It will do a lot with oldpeople, but especially with
sensitive people.
So my advice would be to takereally good care of yourself,
because somewhere along the way,we've learned that when you
take care of yourself, you'rebeing egoistical, and that being
egoistical is somethingundesirable, something bad.
(18:14):
But I'm here to tell you thatit's not the case.
Something about yourself isessential, because you cannot
pour from an empty cup.
If you are not doing okay, youcannot help somebody else.
So you need to think about yourown needs first in order to be
able to help other people, inorder to be there for others, in
(18:37):
order to lead others, to guideothers or to do whatever is
necessary.
And then we come back to theairplane example, when the
stewardess says you need to puton your own oxygen mask first,
and that's literally what youneed to do.
You need to make sure that youcan breathe, that you have
enough energy, that you aremotivated and that you are in
(18:58):
the right mindset and with theright spirits.
And if you are not in thatmindset, not in that energy,
then it will be very, verydifficult, if not impossible,
for you to help other people andto lead by example, because
you're not giving the rightexample.
So, take care of yourself.
(19:19):
For me, that means that I spenda lot of time in nature.
Nature is the thing that makesme replenish my energy, it makes
me feel better.
I walk a lot, I meditate a lotin nature or I just am in nature
, and that does so manywonderful things for me.
(19:42):
And if I cannot be in nature,then I meditate in my own house,
because meditation andspiritual practice are both very
important things, also to keepyourself grounded and to keep
yourself present and to keepyourself motivated and energetic
.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Those are really great suggestions and I also
would add another as far as justtaking care of yourself, like
just drinking a lot of water,making sure that you're
releasing any toxins from yourbody that you can.
I know being out in nature atleast 10 minutes a day has a
phenomenal effect on the body,but I know for myself.
(20:27):
I love epsom salts, and justbathing in epsom salts to help
release the toxins from the bodyis just so powerful.
I think it's interesting toothat in this moment in time,
people are being forced to kindof go inward and look at their
own spaces, as they may havelost their job and they're being
(20:50):
forced to re-examine their life.
So maybe they haven't losttheir job and they're being
forced to work from home andeverybody is like collectively
under one roof, whether you'rehomeschooling or working from
home.
There's a lot of changes thathave occurred around the world
(21:10):
and as people have been forcedto go inward, it's really
interesting that when you gointo this space, people are also
being forced to re-examinewhere they are.
Are they living in a place thatthey are the authentic selves,
right?
Are they living in a spacewhere they are being true to who
(21:32):
it is that they are, whetherit's their jobs, their careers,
their relationships, could beeven just how they've been
conducting their life on aday-to-day basis and how they're
treating people around them.
So I think that this issomething that people, as a
highly sensitive person, they'reactually being forced to.
(21:57):
Additionally, turn inward andlook at themselves, but then
also asking the question what doI do going forward, how do I
move forward and what isweighing me down?
Because I think the weightprobably feels even heavier
because you're feeling theoutside forces of the world, but
(22:18):
then it's also your internalstuff.
So what kind of advice do youhave to offer for people that
are feeling that?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Well, you are spot on with what you're saying.
Now is the time that we arebeing asked to re-examine
ourselves, to look at where weare right now and how happy we
are or how unhappy we are, andto make choices regarding our
happiness and how we want tomove forward in the future.
(22:47):
So it is an excellent time tostop and take notice, to
inventarize how you are doing,if you're happy in your job,
because most people that I talkto are miserable in their job,
and they are miserable in theirjob because they only think
about the job as a means ofpaying their bills, instead of
(23:10):
looking at it as a thing thatfulfills your passion or your
dream and something that reallymakes you happy.
So I want to invite everybodythat's listening to be brutally
honest with themselves and toreally look at themselves and
their life and see what isworking and what is not working,
what is giving me energy andwhat is completely draining me
(23:33):
of all my energy, and then,especially, look at the things
that are draining you and comeup with a way of banning those
things from your life as much aspossible.
And if your job is draining you,then it might be a really
excellent time to look at whatelse could you do or what is
(23:54):
your calling, what is yourpurpose, why are you here, and
what can Be a job or maybe starta business.
If that's for you, that couldactually benefit both you but
also the world and the peoplearound you in, for instance,
leading by example.
And if your Household choresare draining you, for instance,
(24:17):
then maybe look at if it'spossible to just hire someone to
do that for you, so that youhave more time to devote to
proper self-care taking a bath,showering, go into a spa or Old
that's maybe a bit moredifficult right now with corona,
but you get my drift doingsomething nice for yourself,
(24:37):
even though maybe it be orderinga book online and Amazon,
retreating in your favorite roomwith your essential oil
diffuser in your favorite cup oftea, reading the entire
afternoon in one of yourfavorite books.
So now is the time to look atwhat is working for you and what
is not working for you and takeappropriate action.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, and I think this time, right now, I equate
it to kind of like a butterfly,like we're in a cocoon state,
and If you're doing theself-work and you're doing the
inward stuff right now, on theother side, when the world opens
back up, you're gonna spreadyour wings and you're gonna fly
and it's gonna be such anamazing Flight, you know, when
(25:23):
you fly, because you'll havedone everything that you need to
do and it will just be More inalignment with who you are and
how you're operating in thespace of the world.
So I couldn't agree more withyou.
And you know it's interestingbecause you talk about this
process that you went throughpersonally, where you had this
(25:44):
Relationship and someoneliterally said to you you have
to be out in a week.
I can't even imagine what thatwas like for you and what you
had to go through during thatmoment in time.
But it also reminds me that whenwe experience Uncomfortable
things, especially things likethat, how much it changes
everything that's ahead, right.
(26:06):
It changes the direction, itchanges the course of where
we're going in our lives, and Ithink it's so important for
people to remember that, eventhough that this is an
uncomfortable time, it's notforever and things are changing
and it is uncomfortable, butallowing yourself to be in that
space, knowing that it is goingto get better and, just you know
(26:29):
, understanding that it's goingto be okay.
So I know when you were in thatmoment, because somebody in our
audience right now it'sprobably in a similar situation,
or maybe they're not in exactlythat situation, but maybe it's
something a little bit more direwhere there's, you know, abuse
occurring or something like that.
(26:51):
So when I Mean, what would youradvice be to that person who's
listening right now that youknow is in a similar situation
that you had been in?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
well, the best advice that I can give you is To not
be afraid to ask for help.
I see so many people in similarsituations that have been
taught by their parents probablythat have learned that from
their parents and they fromtheir parents that you shouldn't
air your dirty laundry, youshouldn't talk about what's
(27:27):
going on and you need to Carryyour burden by yourself.
And that's not true.
There are many, many morepeople out there that have
similar situations, similarexperiences that could be at
least a listening ear, ashoulder to lean on, and maybe
(27:48):
even have solutions that couldhelp you if you need a place to
live because your currentsituation has become unlivable
due to abuse or othercircumstances.
When you share what's going on,then you also give other people
the opportunity to share theirhome with you or To share
another solution that wouldsolve your housing issue for you
(28:11):
, for instance.
And that's just one example ofthe things that could come on
your path if you would just openup and share.
Because If people don't knowwhat's going on and you keep
everything inside, that's notonly harmful for your health,
because it will definitely harmyour internal health and
(28:33):
Eventually also your externalhealth.
But people cannot help you, soyou are not alone, and please
Talk to someone about it, evenif it's just a stranger or
someone you meet on a forum.
But share your burden.
You don't have to do it alone.
I.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Couldn't agree more, and I think a lot of times when
people are in that situation,they are feeling ashamed or
they're feeling a sense of Justfear, in the sense that they
don't know what to do.
So I I appreciate that messageand giving permission to you
know, open up that space andshare it with other people.
(29:16):
And I think also it's importantfor anyone listening to
understand that you have to letgo of certain things in your
life to allow the new things tocome in.
So sometimes theseOpportunities that's what I call
them, whenever you haveadversities I call them
opportunities because it is anopportunity to open up a new
(29:38):
space and Inviting somethingelse into your life that
wouldn't have been thereotherwise.
You may not see it at the time,but yes, I think it's.
It is that for you.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
When the door closes, a window always opens, and I've
also learned and that took me awhile, if I'm being honest, to
learn this but I've also learnedthat things happen for a reason
and when they happen, usuallyyou don't understand why they're
happening and you usually don'tsee the reason.
But there comes a moment and itcan be sooner, it can be later,
(30:15):
but there will always come amoment when all of a sudden you
realize oh, that is why it'shappening.
You know my burnout when ithappens.
I thought it was the worstthing ever, but if I look back
on it now, it was maybe the bestthing that has ever happened to
(30:36):
me, because it was the catalystI needed to start looking at
myself, to start working onmyself, to find my true,
authentic self and To be able todo the work that I do right now
, which I love to do, what Ithink would not have been
possible had I not gone throughit.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, and it's hard to surrender, to get into that
space, I think, at times, untilyou're on your knees.
Until you're on your knees andyou have nowhere else to go, you
don't surrender.
So you, if you, if you practicethe process of surrendering,
understanding that Things arehappening for a reason and it's
(31:19):
for your good, it's not for yourbad, it's for your good, that
it's going to be okay, when youcan fully surrender, in that it
does make a difference.
Yes, but how, how by how do wego in to this new space and
really face it and like, how dowe Incorporate tools to help us
in this new space?
(31:40):
I mean, I think you're a wholetalk today about being a highly
sensitive person.
I think is so powerful.
But you know, we all come withthese scripts in our heads and
we all come, as you said, withthis Neurological system that's
built in our body that we haveto control of.
How do we face it?
How do we go into this newspace and understanding that,
(32:03):
okay, maybe we're highlysensitive.
What now?
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Well, that's another excellent question.
Um, for me it starts with whatI already told you getting to
know your own user manual reallywell.
Finding out what makes you you.
Finding out what highsensitivity means, especially
for you personally, how thatrelates to the elements in your
life, your job, your friends,your family, your partner.
(32:29):
Find out what are yourstrengths, what are your
weaknesses, what are yourpitfalls, what gives you energy,
what drains your energy.
So, really really getting toknow yourself on a very deep
level.
I think it starts with that,because then you will have a
very strong foundation uponwhich you can build the rest of
your life, your new career, yournew friends, your new family it
(32:53):
doesn't really matter.
But you need that strongfoundation that you get when you
really really look at yourselfand get to know yourself really
well.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
And how do you address people who don't
understand you?
So I know I've experienced thispersonally where people have
said, oh, you're too sensitiveor oh, you're just taking things
personally.
And I used to.
Until I understood myselfbetter, I used to take it maybe
personal because I didn'tunderstand that.
(33:24):
I did have a deeper sensitivityto what was happening.
So how and I know what I do buthow would you suggest to the
audience, you know, somethingthat could?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
come back.
Right, I used to take it verypersonal as well, but it had to
do with my own insecurity and myown lack of self-confidence.
And now that I know who I amand I know my worth, if people
call me too sensitive, orsometimes they call me direct,
and it's because I don't likechit-chats, I like deep
(33:59):
conversations, meaningfulconversations, and if you ask me
, does this look good on me?
I say well, not really no,because that's the question you
ask, and then they find thatvery direct.
But I'm just being honest andthat's the same with your
question.
You know you need to get to knowyourself really well, and then
(34:19):
what other people say and thinkabout you becomes less and less
important, because you know whoyou are, you know your value,
you know what a wonderful,beautiful person you are and you
feel confident and relaxed inyour own skin.
And the more confident andrelaxed you are in your skin,
the less other people have thepower to hurt you, because what
(34:41):
you need to understand is thatother people don't hurt you.
You allow them or what they sayto hurt you, because it touches
something inside of you thatstill needs to be healed.
So as soon as you heal thatpart deep inside of you, then
other people don't have thatpower anymore to heal you,
because those words will nothurt you or touch you as they
(35:05):
did before.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
That's so true, I mean, that's just so, so true.
So I know for myself that was aprocess that I went through,
probably like after, maybe in my20s, I kind of went through
that process and I think for alot of young adults that's
something that is difficultbecause they're going through a
(35:30):
lot of changes and there's a lotof self discovery and there's a
lot of learning about who theyare and how they're showing up
in the world and with societalnorms of what's acceptable and
what's not acceptable forsomeone who has a higher
sensitivity level, they could bemade to feel different and,
(35:51):
with my upbringing beingunconventional, the way that it
was, it was interesting becauseI never felt like that.
I actually always felt like youknow what?
I am unique, I am different andI'm supposed to be that way and
it's okay, right.
So for someone to say or to tryto make another person feel
(36:12):
different, I always thoughtthat's something that they need
to work on, because they haven'taccepted themselves fully,
understanding that they're theirown unique person too and they
have their own special qualitiesto bring into the world.
So that was just me, but I knowfor most people it's not that
(36:32):
way.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
But I think what you're describing is the way it
should be, and it's not justpeople in their late teens.
I was in my 30s when Istruggled with this and my
mother learned it from me,actually, and she was already in
her 50s when she went throughthis whole period and 60s even
end, 50s, beginning of 60s so itdoesn't really matter what age
(36:55):
you are when you are strugglingwith this.
Know that you're not alone andknow that at the end of the
rainbow you do find that pot ofgold.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I couldn't agree more , and I would encourage anybody
who is connecting to thisconversation we're having today
to also seek out other peoplethat are in this space, because
they're also a safe place toshare what it is you're going
through at different moments intime when maybe you're not being
(37:25):
understood by someone who isnot a highly sensitive person,
so I encourage that as well.
And is there any other tools oranything that maybe we missed
in our conversation today thatyou'd like to add?
Speaker 2 (37:43):
But with regards to actual tools, there are a lot of
things that I teach people inmy practice, but it starts with
breathing from your belly,making sure that you're grounded
and getting to know yourselfreally well.
Those are your main threecomponents, and then after that,
there are a lot of other thingsthat you could teach or learn
(38:05):
in forms of energy protection,energy release, stress
management and so on, but Ithink proper breathing breathing
from the belly, being groundedand staying grounded throughout
the day and getting to knowyourself really well are the
first three things that youshould pay attention to.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah and Barbara, how can people meet you?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I am on most social medias on their HSP Coach
Barbara and my website isHSPcoachbarbercom, so that would
be the easiest.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yeah, thank you.
And I have one last questionfor you.
If I were to find your earthangel feather on the ground and
picked it up, what would yourmessage to the world be?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Rise up and show yourself.
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Makes me think of a bird.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Yes, it's also described as spread your wings
and fly, so that's very, verytrue.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
So thank you so so much for being a guest today.
I have so much gratitude forsharing this space with me.
I think your conversation todayis so necessary in the world
that we live in.
I just know there's so manypeople out there that can
resonate with our conversationand maybe discover something
(39:27):
about themselves that maybe theydidn't even know.
You know, and it does validatewhat it is that they're
experiencing.
So, and not making them feellike, you know, ashamed or
anything like that, it'sperfectly okay, like you've been
wired with this in yourneurological system.
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
We're not weird, you're not strange and there are
lots of people like you.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Exactly, yeah, so I love that you're.
You know that you're givingpermission like that.
I think it's wonderful.
So I just want to thank youfrom your corner of the world in
Netherlands to my corner of theworld in the United States.
Thank you so much again,Barbara, for being with me today
.
I just so so appreciate it,Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Oh, it was my pleasure, catherine, and I love
being with you and I loved ourtalk and thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
And we're back.
This is Catherine Daniels, withRetreat to Peace, and I am so,
so appreciative that you'respending this time with me each
week as we share stories ofeveryday people from around the
world, just sharing their uniqueinsight to their journeys and
how they've lived life and thetools that they've used to help
(40:49):
them get through some reallydifficult times.
As I speak with you today, I amso appreciative of the audience
as it's growing, and I justknow that there's so many
inspirational people that I'vehad as guests on my show that
hopefully you're feelinginspired by.
I know Barbara's talk aboutbeing a highly sensitive person
(41:14):
is something that a lot ofpeople can relate to.
I know for myself that'ssomething that I always was very
aware of within my own beingbut really didn't have a way to
articulate it until I was mucholder, and I think that's true
for most people.
Most people, they go throughtheir journey and they really
(41:35):
don't feel that they fit in orthey feel like they're different
than other people because theyare more sensitive as far as
what it is that they are goingthrough or experiencing, and I
just invite you to reallyembrace that part of you because
it is a very, very special partof you.
(41:57):
I know for myself I have a verykeen and a awareness of people
around me and how their soulsare as far as their energy level
is concerned.
So I try to be very aware andcognizant of who it is that I
invite into my space and how Iwork in their spaces as well,
(42:20):
because I do have to beprotected of my energy.
One of the things that Barbarahad talked to was being a highly
sensitive person.
We get this from our parents,and one parent or another will
be a highly sensitive individual.
For myself, it was my mom.
She was definitely a highlysensitive person.
(42:42):
Everything she did, she didwith her heart.
Everything that she said, shesaid with her heart.
Everything that she put intothe world, you could feel a
piece of her soul was attachedto it, and I know that's
something that I adopted fromher, and the interesting thing
about that is that I didn't evengrow up with my mom.
(43:04):
So to have that ability to bethat way and then later find out
that that's how she was, it wasvery intriguing and I hear
often, especially with peoplewho are adopted or people who
have been estranged like I waswith my mother, that they do
(43:24):
have these unique quirks orabilities that are keenly tied
to their parent, and I alwaysfind that very fascinating.
One of the things that I wantedto just speak to today, around
being a highly sensitive person,is how other people's energies
(43:45):
can attach to us, and I know formyself.
This is something that I havebeen feeling fiercely with
everything that's going on inthe way of the world.
It's something that I have hadto find a more cognizant way of
protecting myself, and I didn'treally understand that it was
(44:08):
happening until I startedtalking to other people that are
highly sensitive and they alsohad said that their energy has
been less, they're eating less,they're definitely feeling more
fatigue and a lot of theirexperience is definitely
heightened as far as what'shappening in the world today.
(44:29):
So I wanted to just share withyou some of the things that I'm
doing to help protect myself.
One of the things that I'mdoing is just being very aware
of how I'm spending each of mydays, so I actually put into a
calendar schedule with my phonewhere I get updates of reminders
(44:52):
to remember to do basic thingslike remember to drink my water
to detox my body, remember to domy breathing so when I do my
breathing.
I breathe, I take a deep breathin for four, hold it for four
and then I release it for fourand part of the release process,
(45:12):
I also asked to releaseanything that is not of love and
light attached to my body to bereleased as part of that.
At the end of the day, one ofthe things that I've had to do
too, especially if I've beenaround a lot of people that are
having a lot of heavy energyattached to them is I have to
(45:33):
use my epsom salts to detox andshield my body, to replenish and
get restored.
A lot of people aren't sleepingvery well and a lot of that is
just coming from a space ofbeing in your authentic space as
a light worker.
You may feel this war that ishappening between good versus
(45:58):
evil, and you may actually be ina battle of good versus evil in
your walk right now.
If you were in this battle, Ireally strongly encourage you to
use protection before you closeyour eyes at night and go to
sleep.
Find ways to use meditationwith your higher power.
(46:19):
Ask for your angels to come inand protect you while you sleep.
Ask for guidance from God tohelp restore you through the
night and protect you throughthe night, Because one of the
things that we do hear peopleexperiencing is that they are in
this spiritual battle withother beings that are literally
(46:43):
fighting against them, and it isspiritual warfare.
So make sure that you're reallypaying attention to yourself,
make sure that you're takingcare of yourself, make sure that
you're doing all the rightthings to live in your authentic
state.
I am always intrigued, too, thatduring our sleeping time, how
(47:08):
many times we get woken upabruptly between the hours of 1
and 4 am, and a lot of timesthis is something that is
happening to us deliberately,because we're being called by
our higher power, by ourguardian angels, whoever it is
(47:29):
that's trying to messagesomething to us.
So if you're finding that thisis happening to you, I highly
encourage you to be very awarethat something is at work that
is trying to message somethingto you.
For example, last night, Iactually was awoken at 4 am
(47:52):
abruptly.
I was in a deep sleep andabruptly I was woken up at 4 am,
and one of the things that Iwas messaged was that we have
free will.
God gives us our free will tomake our decisions, to do the
things that we're doing on aday-to-day basis.
Now, some of us are walkingthrough our life and may not be
(48:15):
living in our authentic space asfar as how we're conducting our
life or how we're living ourlife, and it's really, really
important that we are living inour truth.
We're living in our truth inhow we conduct ourselves.
We're living in our truth inhow we are as a soul being, so
(48:36):
that we can put our head at ourpillows each night, knowing that
we are living our lifeauthentically and not in a lie,
because the lies, thedistortions, the things that are
draining us are only drainingus from the good and the
well-being of what it is that wecan provide ourselves had we
(48:58):
not placed that in our life andhad we not released it.
So it's really important thatwe release these things.
So this sense of free willreally is a directional pull of
where it is that you're going inyour journey and in your walk.
So are you following the waysthat are authentic and true to
(49:22):
your authentic state and to yourauthentic self, or are you
pulling against what is what ismeant for you?
Are you trying to make andmanifest something working for
you that is not in your highestgood or your best interest.
It's really, really importantthat we're very aware that we're
(49:44):
working in a state of being inour highest good.
So, as you do this, you do needto have the power and the
awareness of how it affects you,how it affects others in your
life, and you do want to createa space of peace and expression
(50:05):
of power that you can literallycall on your angels, your
protectors, whoever it is thatyou use.
You know God, whoever it may be, that you may use, and call
upon them for your greatstrength, and call upon them to
have the power to be kind, tohave the gentleness, to have the
(50:27):
compassion and the caring A lotof times, compassion, caring,
gentleness this can bemisconstrued as weakness in
individuals, but in reality,this is a soft skill that does
provide a lot of strength, andwe want to use this strength in
the highest possible good.
(50:48):
But it's up to us to use ourfree will to make sure that it
is in our highest good.
So what can we do?
You want to cultivate a lot ofmercies in your dealing with
other people, but also withyourself.
You want to make sure that youhave compassion for yourself and
(51:09):
for others.
When we are out of alignment.
Maybe we've lost our way, webecome uncomfortable and we
don't know how to navigatethrough, and a lot of times this
creates a lot of sense ofrestriction as far as what it is
that we're trying to achieveand what we're trying to do, and
(51:31):
a lot of times the results arenot what we're intending or what
we had planned for ourselves.
So we do need to make sure thatwhen we're in a situation, that
we go with intention not withmalice, but with the mercy and
the grace that we should beliving in, living in our
authentic space, we need toproceed in a certain way and we
(51:54):
need to use our wisdom so thatwe can avoid other situations.
It's really important that weuse our own guidance and let it
lead us consciously, so that wecan learn to not get stuck.
We may be causing harm toothers through our own
unconsciousness, and it'simportant that we need to be
(52:17):
aware that sometimes the waywe're showing up in the world is
causing harm to others and weneed to take more accountability
as far as what it is that we'redoing.
This could the suffering, thiscould be a karmic lesson from
this or another lifetime, Idon't know, but our soul is
basically struggling tointegrate, a lesson that needs
(52:41):
to be learned and needs to befreed up so that we can continue
to move on in our journey.
Sometimes in our situations, wecan hold on so tightly that we
can't even see what it is thatwe're holding onto and where
we're supposed to be going witha direction.
So it's really important thatwe have this release.
(53:03):
I would say that when we're inthese times, it's really
important that we recognize ifwe're in any kind of cycle of
manipulation or if we're beingmanipulated.
Is there anything that isunkind?
Is there anything that ishappening unconsciously?
Look for these particular signsalong the way to help guide you
(53:30):
.
If you need to journal, journala lot of times, a lot of things
will come out just throughjournaling.
But pray for mercy, pray foryour strength, pray for your
situation to be disempowered anda release of any manipulation,
(53:50):
a release of any fear, anystruggling, any hurting or any
suffering, anything that is notof the highest good for you.
Ask for release of this fromyour life as you're guided
through your journey.
Acknowledge your spiritual gift, acknowledge living in your
(54:16):
authentic space.
Acknowledge that this is whoyou are and this is okay, to be
where you are and have peoplearound you that recognize this,
who see you for who you are,that can love you and support
you in your authentic space.
Because those people, those arethe people we call our tribe,
(54:40):
those are the people we call ourfamily, the people that we can
be real with, authentic with,and don't have to be anything
but so.
That's really important thatyou're surrounding yourself with
your authentic spiritualalignment of people.
When your situation is not goingright, do all that you can to
(55:04):
undo any negative effects ofwhat's already unfolded.
Ask for spiritual assistance,ask for loving, respect,
kindness and spiritual power.
And then just take a moment tojust be in meditation, close
(55:25):
your eyes and be aware of yourheart.
Imagine a soft, glowing lightin your heart space and follow
your breath and just perceivethat you're breathing in the
most beautiful light that youcan possibly breathe in.
And allow this beautiful lightjust to hold in its space, hold
(55:51):
in the space of your heart and,as you do this, just pray that
it is cleaning and cleansing allof everything that is not
serving you.
Allow the healing to happenwithin, be ready, be aware,
(56:12):
imagine yourself standing firmlyon the ground and just take the
time that you need to to alloweverything of abundance to flow
from you and live in yourauthentic space.
It is so, so important that, ashighly sensitive people, that
we continue to live in abundanceof peace, love, joy and
(56:36):
happiness.
I invite you to join me nextweek when my guest speaker,
david Hellingsworth, comes to mein his talk about get out the
door.
It is about being in discernment, of getting motivated and
moving in times that you findchallenging and times that you
don't feel like you have theenergy.
(56:58):
In these times that we'reliving in, I know things seem
heavy and it is hard to be inour authentic state, so it is
important that we use thesetools to help us get moving and
get out the door.
So please join us next week.
I hope you have an amazing,beautiful week ahead.
I look forward to spending timewith you next week and when we
(57:23):
talk to David, but I also inviteyou to take a moment and write
to me at retreat2peacellc atgmailcom.
I will put you on a mailinglist and if you're interested in
joining any of our retreats,any of our classes, anything
around spiritual healing, youwill get notified.
(57:45):
For all of that information.
This is Catherine Daniels fromRetreat to Peace, reminding you
to live your authentic life inpeace and, as always, retreat to
peace.
We'll see you next time geliyorSesham.
Hey you, wherever you are in the world right now.
Thank you so much for beinghere with me today.
We know that we're living insome volatile times and we know
that the world is changing.
So let's create a bridge as wetravel through one another's
countries, removing all labels,coming together as one people,
(00:34):
finding our home as one world,and as we do this, this is why
our signature talk today how toRise Up is so important.
And today I'm super excited towelcome my guest speaker,
Barbara Shelton.
Hi, Barbara.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hi Catherine, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I'm so excited to have this talk with you today
and I invite our audience justto settle in as we jump into
this conversation.
And Barbara is a coach and sheactually is a transformational
coach, a speaker and an author.
She specializes in helpingpeople who feel they don't fit
(01:15):
in to be their authentic self,to find their unique voice and
to connect with their soul'smission so they finally find
their place in this world andtheir calling becomes their
soulful, profitable business.
So this is a lot to take,because I think this process is
so hard to do.
(01:36):
Right, to get into youralignment with your authentic
self, your soul self.
But let me ask you, how did youget to this space that you're
actually doing this kind ofcoaching with people?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh, that is an excellent question.
And that obviously didn'thappen from yesterday until
today.
It started already.
When I was very young I got toldby my parents and my teachers
that I was too sensitive andthat I needed to learn to grow a
thicker skin, that I shouldn'ttake things so personally, that
I should learn to let things gomore.
(02:12):
And in hearing those words Isort of create this image that I
am not good enough the way I am, that people will not accept me
if I am who I am.
And in that moment I decide tosuppress a really big part of
myself and to survive all mypowers of reasoning.
So I suppressed the sensitiveside, I suppressed the quirky
(02:35):
side, I suppressed the weirdnessthat is me and that makes me
unique.
Because I thought that peoplewouldn't like me if I showed
that to them and that theywouldn't want to be friends with
me or didn't want to accept me.
And that was at a very youngage and that continued on
through my middle school andhigh school.
(02:57):
I got bullied a lot, I gotpicked on a lot, further
reinforcing that people don'tlike me when I am myself and
that there was something wrongwith me.
There was a time that I reallyseriously thought that there was
something wrong with me.
And if you then fast forward towhen I was 32 and I was working
in IT as a project manager, Iwas working a very difficult
(03:19):
project and after months andmonths of stress and being at
the tips of your toes and barelymanaging to keep everything in
the air all the balls up myboyfriend of seven years
suddenly ends our relationship.
I didn't see it coming.
There were no signs.
He just gets up one evening andtells me you know, I'm done
(03:41):
with this relationship and Iwant you to move out by the end
of the week.
And then everything camecrashing down and I ended up in
a severe burnout and all of asudden was confronted with a lot
of emotions and stuff I didn'tknow how to handle because I had
suppressed most of my emotionsfor most of my life and in that
(04:04):
burnout there was no way aroundit.
I was exhausted, I was empty, Iwas crying nonstop and I didn't
know anything anymore.
I didn't know what was up, Ididn't know what was down, I
didn't know what to do.
I didn't know how to get out ofit.
I was very disappointed inmyself.
I felt like I had let everybodydown.
(04:26):
I didn't see a way out.
And it is in that time that Idiscovered that I am a highly
sensitive person and I neverknew that before.
And the moment I found out andstarted to investigate what that
meant for me but also ingeneral, you know, it felt like
(04:47):
I was coming home to myself.
It opened up a whole new worldof insight into myself, in
discovering things about myselfand understanding things about
myself that I previously justdidn't know and didn't
understand.
And that was the beginning ofwhat I am doing right now.
(05:08):
That was the beginning ofgetting to know my own user
manual, knowing what makes metick, knowing what high
sensitivity means, especiallyfor me.
Also finding out that, besideshighly sensitive, I am a lot
more.
I'm also highly gifted, I'm ahigh sensation seeker, I'm an
extroverted introvert.
Basically, I am what I say,that I help.
(05:29):
I am an intuitive, ambitiousalien.
These moments were the start ofwhat I do right now.
In that period I discovered thatabout 20% of the world's
population is highly sensitive.
That means that we literallyhear more, see more, smell more,
feel more, taste more andexperience more, but it also
(05:51):
means that we get a lot moreinformation.
Then we process all thatinformation on a much higher
speed and also much, much deeper.
That brings with it its own setof challenges.
I discovered that the way intoa burnout for a highly sensitive
person is completely differentthan for a non-highly sensitive
(06:14):
person, but also the way out ofit is completely different.
That was where I first startedmy entrepreneurial journey doing
a lot for highly sensitivepeople with a burnout.
The more I started working withhighly sensitive people, the
more highly sensitive peoplecame into my practice.
I discovered that most of usdon't know that we are highly
(06:38):
sensitive.
The ones that do, about halfdon't want to call themselves
highly sensitive and most of usdon't want to be us.
We have learned to put on masksa mask for when you are with
friends, a mask for when you arewith family, a mask for when
(06:59):
you go to work, and we show theworld all different versions of
ourselves that we think thatthey want us to be or that we
think that they will accept,want to be friends with, can
love, and what usually happensis that we cannot keep up not
(07:19):
being ourselves.
So inevitably there comes atime when you hit rock bottom.
You constantly are confrontedwith the same type of situation
over and over again, until youcome to realize that you cannot
go on the way you are living,you cannot go on the way you are
(07:41):
going and something needs tochange.
And that's where I come in.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So, holy cow, that was a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot.
I mean, their journey has beenincredible as far as the process
, but I have to take a couple ofsteps back because I have some
questions in regards to thepeople in the audience who don't
know exactly what that means tobe a highly sensitive person.
(08:10):
I know that's a term that Ithink is relatively new as far
as societal norms and peopleunderstanding what that means,
especially for people that maybeare not in a space of
understanding that intuitivefactor or what energy really
(08:32):
involves or what that means.
So if you could just take astep back and just help the
audience understand what ahighly sensitive person means.
I know you talked a little bitabout having deeper feelings
around things, but can you justpull back a little bit more into
what that means exactly forsomeone who's highly sensitive?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yes, Well, the term highly sensitive was thought of
by its founder, elaine Aaron, inthe 1990s, so it's been around
now for 30 years.
She's done a lot of research init and what I said?
It's literally hearing more,feeling more, tasting more,
smelling more, experiencing more, and then processing all that
(09:15):
information on a much deeperlevel.
That's the official explanationof what high sensitivity means,
but in practice it means thatwe have this huge problem with
injustice.
Whenever we feel that somethingis being done to us or to
someone we love, or to animalsor children, the innocent, we
(09:37):
feel very strongly and verypassionately about it.
We cannot handle injustice.
That's one element of it.
Another aspect of it is that wetend to be perfectionists, so
we raise the bar really high,and especially for ourselves.
So good is often not goodenough, and we push ourselves to
(09:58):
high standards.
And we also love taking care ofother people and we are so
focused on other people andmaking their lives better and
being there for other peoplethat we tend to forget about
ourselves and our own needs.
So it's like what this tourdoes in the plane If the
(10:19):
airplane goes down, you firstneed to put on your own oxygen
mask before you can helpsomebody else.
We are the people thatcompletely forget about the
oxygen mask and try to save asmany people as we can, while
dying ourselves in the process.
If I put it crudely, that'sbasically what high sensitivity
is and what high sensitivitypeople do.
So it's a characteristic.
(10:43):
It's the same characteristic asyour hair color or your eye
color.
So I want to stress it's not adisease, it's not an inflection,
it's not something you can getrid of.
It's something that you areborn with.
That is hereditary.
It comes from your parents.
Either your father or yourmother is the one that passed it
(11:06):
down to you.
Sometimes it skips a generation, so it can also be from your
grandparents, but usually it'sfrom your parents.
In practice, many people findthat they get overwhelmed very
quickly, that they are exhausted, because you can imagine if so
(11:26):
much more information is comingin, then that can also easily
tire you and exhaust you if youdon't know how to handle it.
We can also take over otherpeople's energy and emotions
like they are our own and we canread between the lines.
So when people are telling astory, we can actually
intuitively feel what it is thatthey are not saying.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
How does that work, though?
How does somebody intuitivelyhave this energy transfer or
have this extra ability, I guess, to feel this energy?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Well, what they've discovered, because they did a
lot of research into it, is thatour nervous system is wired
differently.
So they put a highly sensitiveperson and a non-highly
sensitive person on renammari.
They showed them the samevideos, photos and audio
fragments.
What they then see is that forthe highly sensitive person, a
(12:27):
lot more areas of the brainlight up than for the non-highly
sensitive person, and actuallyit's been something that's been
around for ages.
It was already there in cavemenarea.
It's also in the animal kingdom.
You see it very much withanimals that have a lookout.
Those are the ones that sensedanger, that are constantly
(12:51):
looking and scouting to see ifthe rest of the group is still
safe and if a predator is coming, and then they warn the rest of
the group that danger is coming.
So it's a very useful trait tohave, not only in protecting the
people that you're with, butit's also very useful for
yourself, because it comes withits own set of well I like to
(13:14):
call superpowers, in the form ofinfallible intuition and great
empathy and the ability to formgenuine human connections, for
instance.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's really intriguing because you hear
about people that are moreadverse to going to, like
haunted houses and things likethat, and it's probably, you
know, they probably can feelsome of that energy, right that
from the home and things likethat, whereas other people they
have no problem in just walkinginto that space and it doesn't
(13:50):
affect them, they don't have anykind of association with it or
anything like that.
I actually am one of thosepeople like you that I do have
that ability to feel things andprobably am a higher sensitive,
you know, person in that sensebecause I will, my body,
(14:11):
physically, will react if I amin the presence of somebody that
is off I like to say quote,unquote, off because you know
their energy level is maybesomething that is not of a
vibration of love or higher.
It's probably something that isa lower vibration and has an
(14:34):
association to some sort ofsomething that isn't in the
light of goodness, right.
So it's not that my kids willshare, you know, share with
anybody that their mom needs tohave happy in her life, because
other than happy it's notworking and I do feel the
(14:55):
effects of that.
So I totally can understandthat.
But as far as your and thankyou for sharing a little bit
more of a deeper dive with theMRI, because I didn't even know
that.
So that's really intriguing tome as far as that is concerned.
But I find it interesting toobecause I know there's been a
lot of studies aroundindividuals who are very
(15:21):
involved in religion and thoseparticular people that do a lot
of praying and a lot of prayerwork with their religion.
They actually are reallysensitive people too, from my
understanding.
So I think that's aninteresting connection as well,
that you know there is thiscorrelation there and people are
(15:44):
, you know, they turn toreligion a lot.
So right now we're living in,you know, this really
interesting time where the globeis just going through this
adversity and there's a lot ofpsychological trauma, there's a
lot of, you know, grief that'sassociated with it and people
(16:04):
are really scared and they'reunsure of, you know, what the
future is and they're feelinganxious.
So it's interesting because aswe walk into the world today,
it's like everybody is reactingin a different way and I know
I'm seeing around me a lot ofpeople just saying they feel
this heaviness, they feel thisstrain, they feel like, you know
(16:28):
, things are just evolving insuch a way that it's difficult
for them to kind of lighten uphow they're feeling.
So I can understand for highlysensitive people.
This is probably a verydraining time for a lot of
(16:48):
people.
What I mean, what advice do youhave for that?
Like, what advice do you havefor those individuals who are
just feeling the heaviness ofthe world and the environment
and everything that's going onaround them?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That's also an excellent question.
You know, a lot of highlysensitive people go into a
profession that allows them tolead the people to a better
place or a new world, or howeveryou want to call it, and a lot
of them call themselves starseats or light workers or dark
workers, and we sense thechanges in the universe and also
(17:28):
the changes in the planet.
And since COVID hit, a lot ofpeople have been home and a lot
of people have been anxious andscared, and we sense all this
growing anxiety, this growingfear.
That's much further than justthe people around you.
It's collective, it's worldwideand it can definitely feel very
(17:50):
, very heavy.
The energy can feel very heavyand that will do a lot,
especially with sensitive people.
It will do a lot with oldpeople, but especially with
sensitive people.
So my advice would be to takereally good care of yourself,
because somewhere along the way,we've learned that when you
take care of yourself, you'rebeing egoistical, and that being
egoistical is somethingundesirable, something bad.
(18:14):
But I'm here to tell you thatit's not the case.
Something about yourself isessential, because you cannot
pour from an empty cup.
If you are not doing okay, youcannot help somebody else.
So you need to think about yourown needs first in order to be
able to help other people, inorder to be there for others, in
(18:37):
order to lead others, to guideothers or to do whatever is
necessary.
And then we come back to theairplane example, when the
stewardess says you need to puton your own oxygen mask first,
and that's literally what youneed to do.
You need to make sure that youcan breathe, that you have
enough energy, that you aremotivated and that you are in
(18:58):
the right mindset and with theright spirits.
And if you are not in thatmindset, not in that energy,
then it will be very, verydifficult, if not impossible,
for you to help other people andto lead by example, because
you're not giving the rightexample.
So, take care of yourself.
(19:19):
For me, that means that I spenda lot of time in nature.
Nature is the thing that makesme replenish my energy, it makes
me feel better.
I walk a lot, I meditate a lotin nature or I just am in nature
, and that does so manywonderful things for me.
(19:42):
And if I cannot be in nature,then I meditate in my own house,
because meditation andspiritual practice are both very
important things, also to keepyourself grounded and to keep
yourself present and to keepyourself motivated and energetic
.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Those are really great suggestions and I also
would add another as far as justtaking care of yourself, like
just drinking a lot of water,making sure that you're
releasing any toxins from yourbody that you can.
I know being out in nature atleast 10 minutes a day has a
phenomenal effect on the body,but I know for myself.
(20:27):
I love epsom salts, and justbathing in epsom salts to help
release the toxins from the bodyis just so powerful.
I think it's interesting toothat in this moment in time,
people are being forced to kindof go inward and look at their
own spaces, as they may havelost their job and they're being
(20:50):
forced to re-examine their life.
So maybe they haven't losttheir job and they're being
forced to work from home andeverybody is like collectively
under one roof, whether you'rehomeschooling or working from
home.
There's a lot of changes thathave occurred around the world
(21:10):
and as people have been forcedto go inward, it's really
interesting that when you gointo this space, people are also
being forced to re-examinewhere they are.
Are they living in a place thatthey are the authentic selves,
right?
Are they living in a spacewhere they are being true to who
(21:32):
it is that they are, whetherit's their jobs, their careers,
their relationships, could beeven just how they've been
conducting their life on aday-to-day basis and how they're
treating people around them.
So I think that this issomething that people, as a
highly sensitive person, they'reactually being forced to.
(21:57):
Additionally, turn inward andlook at themselves, but then
also asking the question what doI do going forward, how do I
move forward and what isweighing me down?
Because I think the weightprobably feels even heavier
because you're feeling theoutside forces of the world, but
(22:18):
then it's also your internalstuff.
So what kind of advice do youhave to offer for people that
are feeling that?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Well, you are spot on with what you're saying.
Now is the time that we arebeing asked to re-examine
ourselves, to look at where weare right now and how happy we
are or how unhappy we are, andto make choices regarding our
happiness and how we want tomove forward in the future.
(22:47):
So it is an excellent time tostop and take notice, to
inventarize how you are doing,if you're happy in your job,
because most people that I talkto are miserable in their job,
and they are miserable in theirjob because they only think
about the job as a means ofpaying their bills, instead of
(23:10):
looking at it as a thing thatfulfills your passion or your
dream and something that reallymakes you happy.
So I want to invite everybodythat's listening to be brutally
honest with themselves and toreally look at themselves and
their life and see what isworking and what is not working,
what is giving me energy andwhat is completely draining me
(23:33):
of all my energy, and then,especially, look at the things
that are draining you and comeup with a way of banning those
things from your life as much aspossible.
And if your job is draining you,then it might be a really
excellent time to look at whatelse could you do or what is
(23:54):
your calling, what is yourpurpose, why are you here, and
what can Be a job or maybe starta business.
If that's for you, that couldactually benefit both you but
also the world and the peoplearound you in, for instance,
leading by example.
And if your Household choresare draining you, for instance,
(24:17):
then maybe look at if it'spossible to just hire someone to
do that for you, so that youhave more time to devote to
proper self-care taking a bath,showering, go into a spa or Old
that's maybe a bit moredifficult right now with corona,
but you get my drift doingsomething nice for yourself,
(24:37):
even though maybe it be orderinga book online and Amazon,
retreating in your favorite roomwith your essential oil
diffuser in your favorite cup oftea, reading the entire
afternoon in one of yourfavorite books.
So now is the time to look atwhat is working for you and what
is not working for you and takeappropriate action.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, and I think this time, right now, I equate
it to kind of like a butterfly,like we're in a cocoon state,
and If you're doing theself-work and you're doing the
inward stuff right now, on theother side, when the world opens
back up, you're gonna spreadyour wings and you're gonna fly
and it's gonna be such anamazing Flight, you know, when
(25:23):
you fly, because you'll havedone everything that you need to
do and it will just be More inalignment with who you are and
how you're operating in thespace of the world.
So I couldn't agree more withyou.
And you know it's interestingbecause you talk about this
process that you went throughpersonally, where you had this
(25:44):
Relationship and someoneliterally said to you you have
to be out in a week.
I can't even imagine what thatwas like for you and what you
had to go through during thatmoment in time.
But it also reminds me that whenwe experience Uncomfortable
things, especially things likethat, how much it changes
everything that's ahead, right.
(26:06):
It changes the direction, itchanges the course of where
we're going in our lives, and Ithink it's so important for
people to remember that, eventhough that this is an
uncomfortable time, it's notforever and things are changing
and it is uncomfortable, butallowing yourself to be in that
space, knowing that it is goingto get better and, just you know
(26:29):
, understanding that it's goingto be okay.
So I know when you were in thatmoment, because somebody in our
audience right now it'sprobably in a similar situation,
or maybe they're not in exactlythat situation, but maybe it's
something a little bit more direwhere there's, you know, abuse
occurring or something like that.
(26:51):
So when I Mean, what would youradvice be to that person who's
listening right now that youknow is in a similar situation
that you had been in?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
well, the best advice that I can give you is To not
be afraid to ask for help.
I see so many people in similarsituations that have been
taught by their parents probablythat have learned that from
their parents and they fromtheir parents that you shouldn't
air your dirty laundry, youshouldn't talk about what's
(27:27):
going on and you need to Carryyour burden by yourself.
And that's not true.
There are many, many morepeople out there that have
similar situations, similarexperiences that could be at
least a listening ear, ashoulder to lean on, and maybe
(27:48):
even have solutions that couldhelp you if you need a place to
live because your currentsituation has become unlivable
due to abuse or othercircumstances.
When you share what's going on,then you also give other people
the opportunity to share theirhome with you or To share
another solution that wouldsolve your housing issue for you
(28:11):
, for instance.
And that's just one example ofthe things that could come on
your path if you would just openup and share.
Because If people don't knowwhat's going on and you keep
everything inside, that's notonly harmful for your health,
because it will definitely harmyour internal health and
(28:33):
Eventually also your externalhealth.
But people cannot help you, soyou are not alone, and please
Talk to someone about it, evenif it's just a stranger or
someone you meet on a forum.
But share your burden.
You don't have to do it alone.
I.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Couldn't agree more, and I think a lot of times when
people are in that situation,they are feeling ashamed or
they're feeling a sense of Justfear, in the sense that they
don't know what to do.
So I I appreciate that messageand giving permission to you
know, open up that space andshare it with other people.
(29:16):
And I think also it's importantfor anyone listening to
understand that you have to letgo of certain things in your
life to allow the new things tocome in.
So sometimes theseOpportunities that's what I call
them, whenever you haveadversities I call them
opportunities because it is anopportunity to open up a new
(29:38):
space and Inviting somethingelse into your life that
wouldn't have been thereotherwise.
You may not see it at the time,but yes, I think it's.
It is that for you.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
When the door closes, a window always opens, and I've
also learned and that took me awhile, if I'm being honest, to
learn this but I've also learnedthat things happen for a reason
and when they happen, usuallyyou don't understand why they're
happening and you usually don'tsee the reason.
But there comes a moment and itcan be sooner, it can be later,
(30:15):
but there will always come amoment when all of a sudden you
realize oh, that is why it'shappening.
You know my burnout when ithappens.
I thought it was the worstthing ever, but if I look back
on it now, it was maybe the bestthing that has ever happened to
(30:36):
me, because it was the catalystI needed to start looking at
myself, to start working onmyself, to find my true,
authentic self and To be able todo the work that I do right now
, which I love to do, what Ithink would not have been
possible had I not gone throughit.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, and it's hard to surrender, to get into that
space, I think, at times, untilyou're on your knees.
Until you're on your knees andyou have nowhere else to go, you
don't surrender.
So you, if you, if you practicethe process of surrendering,
understanding that Things arehappening for a reason and it's
(31:19):
for your good, it's not for yourbad, it's for your good, that
it's going to be okay, when youcan fully surrender, in that it
does make a difference.
Yes, but how, how by how do wego in to this new space and
really face it and like, how dowe Incorporate tools to help us
in this new space?
(31:40):
I mean, I think you're a wholetalk today about being a highly
sensitive person.
I think is so powerful.
But you know, we all come withthese scripts in our heads and
we all come, as you said, withthis Neurological system that's
built in our body that we haveto control of.
How do we face it?
How do we go into this newspace and understanding that,
(32:03):
okay, maybe we're highlysensitive.
What now?
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Well, that's another excellent question.
Um, for me it starts with whatI already told you getting to
know your own user manual reallywell.
Finding out what makes you you.
Finding out what highsensitivity means, especially
for you personally, how thatrelates to the elements in your
life, your job, your friends,your family, your partner.
(32:29):
Find out what are yourstrengths, what are your
weaknesses, what are yourpitfalls, what gives you energy,
what drains your energy.
So, really really getting toknow yourself on a very deep
level.
I think it starts with that,because then you will have a
very strong foundation uponwhich you can build the rest of
your life, your new career, yournew friends, your new family it
(32:53):
doesn't really matter.
But you need that strongfoundation that you get when you
really really look at yourselfand get to know yourself really
well.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
And how do you address people who don't
understand you?
So I know I've experienced thispersonally where people have
said, oh, you're too sensitiveor oh, you're just taking things
personally.
And I used to.
Until I understood myselfbetter, I used to take it maybe
personal because I didn'tunderstand that.
(33:24):
I did have a deeper sensitivityto what was happening.
So how and I know what I do buthow would you suggest to the
audience, you know, somethingthat could?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
come back.
Right, I used to take it verypersonal as well, but it had to
do with my own insecurity and myown lack of self-confidence.
And now that I know who I amand I know my worth, if people
call me too sensitive, orsometimes they call me direct,
and it's because I don't likechit-chats, I like deep
(33:59):
conversations, meaningfulconversations, and if you ask me
, does this look good on me?
I say well, not really no,because that's the question you
ask, and then they find thatvery direct.
But I'm just being honest andthat's the same with your
question.
You know you need to get to knowyourself really well, and then
(34:19):
what other people say and thinkabout you becomes less and less
important, because you know whoyou are, you know your value,
you know what a wonderful,beautiful person you are and you
feel confident and relaxed inyour own skin.
And the more confident andrelaxed you are in your skin,
the less other people have thepower to hurt you, because what
(34:41):
you need to understand is thatother people don't hurt you.
You allow them or what they sayto hurt you, because it touches
something inside of you thatstill needs to be healed.
So as soon as you heal thatpart deep inside of you, then
other people don't have thatpower anymore to heal you,
because those words will nothurt you or touch you as they
(35:05):
did before.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
That's so true, I mean, that's just so, so true.
So I know for myself that was aprocess that I went through,
probably like after, maybe in my20s, I kind of went through
that process and I think for alot of young adults that's
something that is difficultbecause they're going through a
(35:30):
lot of changes and there's a lotof self discovery and there's a
lot of learning about who theyare and how they're showing up
in the world and with societalnorms of what's acceptable and
what's not acceptable forsomeone who has a higher
sensitivity level, they could bemade to feel different and,
(35:51):
with my upbringing beingunconventional, the way that it
was, it was interesting becauseI never felt like that.
I actually always felt like youknow what?
I am unique, I am different andI'm supposed to be that way and
it's okay, right.
So for someone to say or to tryto make another person feel
(36:12):
different, I always thoughtthat's something that they need
to work on, because they haven'taccepted themselves fully,
understanding that they're theirown unique person too and they
have their own special qualitiesto bring into the world.
So that was just me, but I knowfor most people it's not that
(36:32):
way.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
But I think what you're describing is the way it
should be, and it's not justpeople in their late teens.
I was in my 30s when Istruggled with this and my
mother learned it from me,actually, and she was already in
her 50s when she went throughthis whole period and 60s even
end, 50s, beginning of 60s so itdoesn't really matter what age
(36:55):
you are when you are strugglingwith this.
Know that you're not alone andknow that at the end of the
rainbow you do find that pot ofgold.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I couldn't agree more , and I would encourage anybody
who is connecting to thisconversation we're having today
to also seek out other peoplethat are in this space, because
they're also a safe place toshare what it is you're going
through at different moments intime when maybe you're not being
(37:25):
understood by someone who isnot a highly sensitive person,
so I encourage that as well.
And is there any other tools oranything that maybe we missed
in our conversation today thatyou'd like to add?
Speaker 2 (37:43):
But with regards to actual tools, there are a lot of
things that I teach people inmy practice, but it starts with
breathing from your belly,making sure that you're grounded
and getting to know yourselfreally well.
Those are your main threecomponents, and then after that,
there are a lot of other thingsthat you could teach or learn
(38:05):
in forms of energy protection,energy release, stress
management and so on, but Ithink proper breathing breathing
from the belly, being groundedand staying grounded throughout
the day and getting to knowyourself really well are the
first three things that youshould pay attention to.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah and Barbara, how can people meet you?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I am on most social medias on their HSP Coach
Barbara and my website isHSPcoachbarbercom, so that would
be the easiest.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yeah, thank you.
And I have one last questionfor you.
If I were to find your earthangel feather on the ground and
picked it up, what would yourmessage to the world be?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Rise up and show yourself.
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Makes me think of a bird.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Yes, it's also described as spread your wings
and fly, so that's very, verytrue.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
So thank you so so much for being a guest today.
I have so much gratitude forsharing this space with me.
I think your conversation todayis so necessary in the world
that we live in.
I just know there's so manypeople out there that can
resonate with our conversationand maybe discover something
(39:27):
about themselves that maybe theydidn't even know.
You know, and it does validatewhat it is that they're
experiencing.
So, and not making them feellike, you know, ashamed or
anything like that, it'sperfectly okay, like you've been
wired with this in yourneurological system.
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
We're not weird, you're not strange and there are
lots of people like you.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Exactly, yeah, so I love that you're.
You know that you're givingpermission like that.
I think it's wonderful.
So I just want to thank youfrom your corner of the world in
Netherlands to my corner of theworld in the United States.
Thank you so much again,Barbara, for being with me today
.
I just so so appreciate it,Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Oh, it was my pleasure, catherine, and I love
being with you and I loved ourtalk and thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
And we're back.
This is Catherine Daniels, withRetreat to Peace, and I am so,
so appreciative that you'respending this time with me each
week as we share stories ofeveryday people from around the
world, just sharing their uniqueinsight to their journeys and
how they've lived life and thetools that they've used to help
(40:49):
them get through some reallydifficult times.
As I speak with you today, I amso appreciative of the audience
as it's growing, and I justknow that there's so many
inspirational people that I'vehad as guests on my show that
hopefully you're feelinginspired by.
I know Barbara's talk aboutbeing a highly sensitive person
(41:14):
is something that a lot ofpeople can relate to.
I know for myself that'ssomething that I always was very
aware of within my own beingbut really didn't have a way to
articulate it until I was mucholder, and I think that's true
for most people.
Most people, they go throughtheir journey and they really
(41:35):
don't feel that they fit in orthey feel like they're different
than other people because theyare more sensitive as far as
what it is that they are goingthrough or experiencing, and I
just invite you to reallyembrace that part of you because
it is a very, very special partof you.
(41:57):
I know for myself I have a verykeen and a awareness of people
around me and how their soulsare as far as their energy level
is concerned.
So I try to be very aware andcognizant of who it is that I
invite into my space and how Iwork in their spaces as well,
(42:20):
because I do have to beprotected of my energy.
One of the things that Barbarahad talked to was being a highly
sensitive person.
We get this from our parents,and one parent or another will
be a highly sensitive individual.
For myself, it was my mom.
She was definitely a highlysensitive person.
(42:42):
Everything she did, she didwith her heart.
Everything that she said, shesaid with her heart.
Everything that she put intothe world, you could feel a
piece of her soul was attachedto it, and I know that's
something that I adopted fromher, and the interesting thing
about that is that I didn't evengrow up with my mom.
(43:04):
So to have that ability to bethat way and then later find out
that that's how she was, it wasvery intriguing and I hear
often, especially with peoplewho are adopted or people who
have been estranged like I waswith my mother, that they do
(43:24):
have these unique quirks orabilities that are keenly tied
to their parent, and I alwaysfind that very fascinating.
One of the things that I wantedto just speak to today, around
being a highly sensitive person,is how other people's energies
(43:45):
can attach to us, and I know formyself.
This is something that I havebeen feeling fiercely with
everything that's going on inthe way of the world.
It's something that I have hadto find a more cognizant way of
protecting myself, and I didn'treally understand that it was
(44:08):
happening until I startedtalking to other people that are
highly sensitive and they alsohad said that their energy has
been less, they're eating less,they're definitely feeling more
fatigue and a lot of theirexperience is definitely
heightened as far as what'shappening in the world today.
(44:29):
So I wanted to just share withyou some of the things that I'm
doing to help protect myself.
One of the things that I'mdoing is just being very aware
of how I'm spending each of mydays, so I actually put into a
calendar schedule with my phonewhere I get updates of reminders
(44:52):
to remember to do basic thingslike remember to drink my water
to detox my body, remember to domy breathing so when I do my
breathing.
I breathe, I take a deep breathin for four, hold it for four
and then I release it for fourand part of the release process,
(45:12):
I also asked to releaseanything that is not of love and
light attached to my body to bereleased as part of that.
At the end of the day, one ofthe things that I've had to do
too, especially if I've beenaround a lot of people that are
having a lot of heavy energyattached to them is I have to
(45:33):
use my epsom salts to detox andshield my body, to replenish and
get restored.
A lot of people aren't sleepingvery well and a lot of that is
just coming from a space ofbeing in your authentic space as
a light worker.
You may feel this war that ishappening between good versus
(45:58):
evil, and you may actually be ina battle of good versus evil in
your walk right now.
If you were in this battle, Ireally strongly encourage you to
use protection before you closeyour eyes at night and go to
sleep.
Find ways to use meditationwith your higher power.
(46:19):
Ask for your angels to come inand protect you while you sleep.
Ask for guidance from God tohelp restore you through the
night and protect you throughthe night, Because one of the
things that we do hear peopleexperiencing is that they are in
this spiritual battle withother beings that are literally
(46:43):
fighting against them, and it isspiritual warfare.
So make sure that you're reallypaying attention to yourself,
make sure that you're takingcare of yourself, make sure that
you're doing all the rightthings to live in your authentic
state.
I am always intrigued, too, thatduring our sleeping time, how
(47:08):
many times we get woken upabruptly between the hours of 1
and 4 am, and a lot of timesthis is something that is
happening to us deliberately,because we're being called by
our higher power, by ourguardian angels, whoever it is
(47:29):
that's trying to messagesomething to us.
So if you're finding that thisis happening to you, I highly
encourage you to be very awarethat something is at work that
is trying to message somethingto you.
For example, last night, Iactually was awoken at 4 am
(47:52):
abruptly.
I was in a deep sleep andabruptly I was woken up at 4 am,
and one of the things that Iwas messaged was that we have
free will.
God gives us our free will tomake our decisions, to do the
things that we're doing on aday-to-day basis.
Now, some of us are walkingthrough our life and may not be
(48:15):
living in our authentic space asfar as how we're conducting our
life or how we're living ourlife, and it's really, really
important that we are living inour truth.
We're living in our truth inhow we conduct ourselves.
We're living in our truth inhow we are as a soul being, so
(48:36):
that we can put our head at ourpillows each night, knowing that
we are living our lifeauthentically and not in a lie,
because the lies, thedistortions, the things that are
draining us are only drainingus from the good and the
well-being of what it is that wecan provide ourselves had we
(48:58):
not placed that in our life andhad we not released it.
So it's really important thatwe release these things.
So this sense of free willreally is a directional pull of
where it is that you're going inyour journey and in your walk.
So are you following the waysthat are authentic and true to
(49:22):
your authentic state and to yourauthentic self, or are you
pulling against what is what ismeant for you?
Are you trying to make andmanifest something working for
you that is not in your highestgood or your best interest.
It's really, really importantthat we're very aware that we're
(49:44):
working in a state of being inour highest good.
So, as you do this, you do needto have the power and the
awareness of how it affects you,how it affects others in your
life, and you do want to createa space of peace and expression
(50:05):
of power that you can literallycall on your angels, your
protectors, whoever it is thatyou use.
You know God, whoever it may be, that you may use, and call
upon them for your greatstrength, and call upon them to
have the power to be kind, tohave the gentleness, to have the
(50:27):
compassion and the caring A lotof times, compassion, caring,
gentleness this can bemisconstrued as weakness in
individuals, but in reality,this is a soft skill that does
provide a lot of strength, andwe want to use this strength in
the highest possible good.
(50:48):
But it's up to us to use ourfree will to make sure that it
is in our highest good.
So what can we do?
You want to cultivate a lot ofmercies in your dealing with
other people, but also withyourself.
You want to make sure that youhave compassion for yourself and
(51:09):
for others.
When we are out of alignment.
Maybe we've lost our way, webecome uncomfortable and we
don't know how to navigatethrough, and a lot of times this
creates a lot of sense ofrestriction as far as what it is
that we're trying to achieveand what we're trying to do, and
(51:31):
a lot of times the results arenot what we're intending or what
we had planned for ourselves.
So we do need to make sure thatwhen we're in a situation, that
we go with intention not withmalice, but with the mercy and
the grace that we should beliving in, living in our
authentic space, we need toproceed in a certain way and we
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need to use our wisdom so thatwe can avoid other situations.
It's really important that weuse our own guidance and let it
lead us consciously, so that wecan learn to not get stuck.
We may be causing harm toothers through our own
unconsciousness, and it'simportant that we need to be
(52:17):
aware that sometimes the waywe're showing up in the world is
causing harm to others and weneed to take more accountability
as far as what it is that we'redoing.
This could the suffering, thiscould be a karmic lesson from
this or another lifetime, Idon't know, but our soul is
basically struggling tointegrate, a lesson that needs
(52:41):
to be learned and needs to befreed up so that we can continue
to move on in our journey.
Sometimes in our situations, wecan hold on so tightly that we
can't even see what it is thatwe're holding onto and where
we're supposed to be going witha direction.
So it's really important thatwe have this release.
(53:03):
I would say that when we're inthese times, it's really
important that we recognize ifwe're in any kind of cycle of
manipulation or if we're beingmanipulated.
Is there anything that isunkind?
Is there anything that ishappening unconsciously?
Look for these particular signsalong the way to help guide you
(53:30):
.
If you need to journal, journala lot of times, a lot of things
will come out just throughjournaling.
But pray for mercy, pray foryour strength, pray for your
situation to be disempowered anda release of any manipulation,
(53:50):
a release of any fear, anystruggling, any hurting or any
suffering, anything that is notof the highest good for you.
Ask for release of this fromyour life as you're guided
through your journey.
Acknowledge your spiritual gift, acknowledge living in your
(54:16):
authentic space.
Acknowledge that this is whoyou are and this is okay, to be
where you are and have peoplearound you that recognize this,
who see you for who you are,that can love you and support
you in your authentic space.
Because those people, those arethe people we call our tribe,
(54:40):
those are the people we call ourfamily, the people that we can
be real with, authentic with,and don't have to be anything
but so.
That's really important thatyou're surrounding yourself with
your authentic spiritualalignment of people.
When your situation is not goingright, do all that you can to
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undo any negative effects ofwhat's already unfolded.
Ask for spiritual assistance,ask for loving, respect,
kindness and spiritual power.
And then just take a moment tojust be in meditation, close
(55:25):
your eyes and be aware of yourheart.
Imagine a soft, glowing lightin your heart space and follow
your breath and just perceivethat you're breathing in the
most beautiful light that youcan possibly breathe in.
And allow this beautiful lightjust to hold in its space, hold
(55:51):
in the space of your heart and,as you do this, just pray that
it is cleaning and cleansing allof everything that is not
serving you.
Allow the healing to happenwithin, be ready, be aware,
(56:12):
imagine yourself standing firmlyon the ground and just take the
time that you need to to alloweverything of abundance to flow
from you and live in yourauthentic space.
It is so, so important that, ashighly sensitive people, that
we continue to live in abundanceof peace, love, joy and
(56:36):
happiness.
I invite you to join me nextweek when my guest speaker,
david Hellingsworth, comes to mein his talk about get out the
door.
It is about being in discernment, of getting motivated and
moving in times that you findchallenging and times that you
don't feel like you have theenergy.
(56:58):
In these times that we'reliving in, I know things seem
heavy and it is hard to be inour authentic state, so it is
important that we use thesetools to help us get moving and
get out the door.
So please join us next week.
I hope you have an amazing,beautiful week ahead.
I look forward to spending timewith you next week and when we
(57:23):
talk to David, but I also inviteyou to take a moment and write
to me at retreat2peacellc atgmailcom.
I will put you on a mailinglist and if you're interested in
joining any of our retreats,any of our classes, anything
around spiritual healing, youwill get notified.
(57:45):
For all of that information.
This is Catherine Daniels fromRetreat to Peace, reminding you
to live your authentic life inpeace and, as always, retreat to
peace.
We'll see you next time geliyorSesham.
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