November 26, 2025 • 19 mins
Holiday gatherings can feel like emotional minefields, and we know how easy it is to slip into using food as a buffer when old wounds or tense dynamics resurface. In this episode, we talk honestly about how we’re learning to stop hiding behind food and instead respond with wisdom, calm, and compassion. We reframe emotional eating as a short-term comfort that limits long-term growth, and then share a practical toolkit we use ourselves: crafting truth lists that anchor identity, setting healthy boundaries, and deciding food choices ahead of time so we don’t collapse under decision fatigue. When tensions rise, we lean on simple breath prayers, quick pauses, and moments of presence that let grace shape our responses instead of our triggers.
We also walk through our “look and learn” practice—an honest, shame-free way to reflect after a gathering and carry forward what actually helped. Scripture grounds every step for us: Romans 12:18, Psalm 139, Proverbs 4:23, Isaiah 26:3, and Colossians 3:15 remind us that peace is possible, even in difficult dynamics. We share real stories of setting boundaries, planning supportive conversations, and checking in with God throughout the day. When we choose presence over perfection and truth over people-pleasing, both our relationships and our food choices align more closely with who we are in Christ.
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within
on the Go.
I'm Heidi Milesma Epherson, oneof your hosts, and the owner and
the lead coach of theRevelationWithin.org industry.
SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
We are so happy to invite you tojoin us for this episode of
Revelation Within.
(00:35):
Hey, we're so glad you're hereto join us for this final part
of our holiday survival guideseries.
SPEAKER_01 (00:43):
As you may recall, or if you didn't, you can go
back and listen to it eitheragain or for the first time.
In episode one, we talked aboutpreparing your heart and your
intentions for the season.
In episode two, we explored whatto do when, in spite of all our
wonderful intentions, we stillfall short, or what we call
(01:04):
sploogie.
How to renew your mind whenthings don't go perfectly.
How can we think God's thoughtsabout our failures?
SPEAKER_00 (01:13):
So today we're going to talk about a huge trigger for
emotional eating.
What's emotional eating?
Have I ever done that?
unknown (01:22):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (01:24):
So many times.
Okay, holiday stress.
And what about disconnectionfrom God?
We're going to talk aboutrelationships today.
SPEAKER_01 (01:36):
Oh, this is lovely.
Just listen to this list.
Family dynamics, loss, unmetexpectations.
Oh, goodness.
Passive, aggressive commentsfrom Aunt Sally, loneliness,
grief, old wounds.
Oh my goodness.
This time of year tends to stirit all up.
(01:57):
This is gonna be a fun episode.
Yeah.
Are we sure we want to do thisone?
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Let's go have pizza.
Okay, well, let's just startright here.
Don't don't turn off theepisode.
Let's just start here.
God knows that people can bereally hard to deal with.
He knows.
Well, after all, he made us.
(02:24):
He knows.
He gets us.
And he doesn't ask us to denythe reality of what's happening
in our lives that are causingrelational pain.
Instead, he invites us to bringit to him.
SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
Oh, that makes me feel better.
Yeah.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah, we'll see you next time.
Romans 12, 18 tells us if it ispossible, as far as it depends
on you, live at peace witheveryone.
So we're not responsible for howothers act, but we are
(03:04):
responsible for how we respond.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:09):
Well, and that's where food can kind of sneak in
or storm in or rush in or Idon't know, um, stomp around.
How about emotional eating oftenbecomes a form of
self-protection or control orhow about escape?
SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (03:30):
You know, it can feel like a buffer between us
and difficult people.
Um, and I know that I we're notsaying anything that you don't
know.
This this is something that somany of us have experienced.
SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
Yeah, there was a united duh that we heard from
you all.
SPEAKER_00 (03:49):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
When we use food that way, though, you know, we
really tend to miss anopportunity to grow with God, to
kind of bring him into theproblem, into the pain, to let
him shape us instead of himdoing the soothing.
We don't want to self-soothewith food or whatever else.
We want to go to him and let himshape us and soothe us.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Well, and we all know how we feel when we're
self-soothing.
In the moment, maybe for a quicklittle moment, it feels better.
And then very quickly, it feelsworse.
It's draining, it's exhausting,it's bringing us down instead of
up.
And we know that we've done itso many times.
So we really don't want to gothere again.
(04:38):
Um, so imagine someone kind ofpushing your buttons at a
holiday gathering instead ofnumbing out or isolating or
going for a big plate of food.
What if we ask God, Lord, whatare you showing me through this
person or through thissituation?
(04:58):
And is there anything in me thatyou're inviting me to notice, to
heal, or even to surrender?
SPEAKER_01 (05:07):
You know, it's possible that you won't ask
these questions unless you taketime, you know, excuse yourself
and go to the bathroom orsomething.
You know, just take a momentaway, remove yourself from the
situation where you're beingtriggered emotionally, and then
you can ask the Lord thesequestions.
And Psalm 139, verses 23 and 24has a beautiful look and learn
(05:30):
prayer in it.
And this is what David wrote: search me, oh God, and know my (05:32):
undefined
heart, test me and know myanxious thoughts, see if there
is any offensive way in me, andlead me in the way everlasting.
SPEAKER_00 (05:46):
Beautiful.
So, this kind of prayer, I mean,it's like opening a door for God
to speak to us, not just aboutour eating, but about what's
happening in our hearts.
And he greets us always withcompassion, love, patience, all
of those things.
Imagine actually opening thatdoor for God to speak to us
(06:10):
about something really, reallyimportant.
SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
Yeah.
So, what do you suppose itactually looks like to walk in
this?
Here's some ideas that we havefor the event.
Maybe create a truth list aboutthe people or patterns that you
anticipate being hard.
What does God say about you,about your worth, about your
boundaries?
(06:34):
And if you need some fuel for anidentity in Christ truth list,
uh you can visit teamlife isgood.com forward slash identity.
And we have a nice like two anda half page list of things that
the word of God says about whathe says about you.
And that's a great place tostart.
(06:56):
So again, that's teamlife isgood.com forward slash identity.
So before the event, create atruth list, read it out loud,
uh, try to get it to soak intoyour heart and your mind.
And then during the event, takebathroom breaks with the Lord.
He's right there.
You can step outside if you wantto, you can breathe, or whisper
(07:18):
a breath prayer.
Like, you are my peace, evenhere, even now.
You are my peace on the inhale,and even here, even now on the
exhale, or whatever other truthyou might want to incorporate.
You know, again, breath prayingis not mystical or magical, it
just tells my nervous systemthere's no reason to be afraid,
(07:42):
that I can calm down, I can beat peace.
And God loves it when we pairdeep breathing with his truth.
You are my peace, even here,even now.
And then after the event,journal or pray through what
happened.
Ask God what he wants you tocarry forward.
That's you know, really look andlearn is what we're talking
(08:04):
about.
Look with the Lord at the event,at the relationship, at what you
said, at what was said to you,and ask God to show you.
What do I need to know about howthat went?
What do I need to know about howI responded?
And then ask him what he wantsyou to release or carry forward,
what does he want you to learnso that next time you're in a
(08:27):
similar situation, you canemerge victorious.
SPEAKER_00 (08:30):
Proverbs 4, verse 23 says, Above all else, guard your
heart, for everything you doflows from it.
So this means that it's notselfish to protect your
emotional space, it's actuallywise.
God is encouraging us to protectwhat is precious to him, and
(08:52):
that's us.
unknown (08:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
So, how can we renew our mind about difficult people
that we anticipate will beeither at a gathering or that
we'll have to interact with atsome level?
Christina and I are gonna readuh many truth lists that you can
use when people make your lifeless than ideal, maybe.
Yeah.
Um, so go ahead, Christine, readthat first one.
SPEAKER_00 (09:17):
I am not defined by their opinion of me.
SPEAKER_01 (09:22):
God's voice matters more than theirs.
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
I don't have to defend or explain myself.
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
God sees it all and loves me.
SPEAKER_00 (09:34):
My peace comes from Christ, not my circumstances.
SPEAKER_01 (09:40):
My identity is secure.
SPEAKER_00 (09:43):
I can show grace without becoming a doormat.
SPEAKER_01 (09:49):
Boundaries are biblical and loving.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
You know, you might even turn some of these into
personalized prayers.
For example, Lord, help me torespond with your wisdom, not
with my wounds.
Thank you that I don't have toearn approval.
Yours is already mine.
SPEAKER_01 (10:09):
Renew your mind with God's truth before you're caught
in a situation where you'rereacting.
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
Okay, so let's let's not forget, Jesus knows what
it's like to have relationalpain.
I mean, his family thought hewas crazy.
His disciples actually abandonedhim.
Judas betrayed him with a kiss.
I mean, Jesus lived on thisearth and he had all kinds of
(10:37):
relationships, and it wascomplicated at times and tricky
and difficult.
He gets it, he's been here.
SPEAKER_01 (10:45):
Yeah, and yeah, it's true.
He responded with truth, love,boundaries, forgiveness.
And yeah, he didn't avoid hardrelationships, but he also
didn't let them define him, andthat's where I struggle.
I do let those hard thingsdefine me in some way.
You know, I tend to carry thosewounds from my past, and then if
(11:05):
something happens in thepresent, I can easily let let
yeah, it comes rushing back.
SPEAKER_00 (11:12):
Yeah, and that happens to so many of us.
That's the pattern that we'reinvited to follow.
What you just shared, Heidi, notperfection, but presence, you
know, being present with God inour hard moments with people.
SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
Oh, and this is a truth that my peace isn't found
in people.
And I want I want to rememberthis and uh urge you all to
remember this.
People may never give you or mewhat we long for.
That affirmation, the apology,the connection, or the
(11:49):
compassion, they may never come.
That's just the reality.
And God wants to meet with us inthe midst of our disappointment,
in the midst of our heartache,in the midst of yet again
rehearsing the heartache that wewent through last year or that
we're in this year.
He will be enough for us in themidst of that.
SPEAKER_00 (12:12):
Yes.
Yeah.
You know, I'm thinking of asituation that I was in many
years in a row, really.
Um, I used to teach at anelementary school, absolutely
loved it.
Um, but every year we would havethese holiday parties.
And there was one person inparticular who was very
judgmental, very outspoken.
(12:33):
I think everybody kind ofdreaded being around this person
in a social event.
And actually, she was aphenomenal teacher.
She was so good at what she did.
But in a situation that wassocial, she was constantly
stepping on everybody's toes.
And it was unpredictable, it wasnerve-wracking.
(12:57):
I know that I was not alone infeeling this way.
We dreaded being at this partywith her.
And so, what do you do in asituation like that?
So I went to the Lord about it.
I mean, the first few years, Ididn't know how to renew my
mind.
I didn't have any idea what todo.
I just kind of avoided her.
(13:20):
Um, but that's not what Godcalls us to either, just
completely isolating or um, youknow, walking away.
And so I thought, yeah, I'mgonna invite God into this.
God loves this person.
He loves her, he made her.
He is chasing after her, he isdrawing her into his own heart.
(13:40):
He loves her just as he lovesme.
And so one of the ways that Idealt with it was writing a
truth list ahead of time abouther and about God's view of her
and the situation and renewingmy mind about it.
That was huge for me.
I remember having it on littlecards in my desk and pulling
(14:02):
those out just before the party.
But another thing that helped mewas to set up some boundaries
that were life-giving for me.
For example, I made the decisionthat I would never be in a room
alone with her.
I just thought, you know what?
This is a life-giving boundaryfor me.
I don't need to be alone withher in a room where, you know,
(14:25):
she might go off on me orwhatever.
And so that was that was veryintentional.
I was able to, you know, to dothat fairly easily.
And I really felt like God ledme to that as a protective
measure.
Um, another boundary was Iplanned in two breaks during the
party where I would either gointo another room, go outside,
(14:47):
or go in the bathroom, whateverit was, and just spend a minute
kind of debriefing, processingwith the Lord.
How's it going?
You know, how's it going?
And that kind of thing.
And then I had also I had a planfor what I could say to her that
would be something very positivethat she could talk about.
(15:08):
So that was kind of set up aheadof time so I could completely
focus on her, not focus onmyself and ask her about
something that I knew she wouldlove to talk about and share,
maybe a trip she had taken orsomething like that.
And then I was able to set up aboundary where I could say
something and walk away and joinsomeone else for a conversation.
(15:32):
Those are just a few things youcan think of, all kinds of
boundaries, especially if youask for God's wisdom in all of
that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:40):
You know, one of the things I love is, you know, and
we mentioned it previously, totake a break away to check in
with the Lord or to renew yourmind, but you scheduled those
ahead of time.
So it wasn't like you waiteduntil you were in dire straits
and swept up into it to try topull away.
You planned it, you know, andthat's oh, that's such wisdom.
(16:03):
Your boundaries were very wise,obviously.
SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
Well, and the other thing that I did was planned for
the food.
I knew what the food would be,and so I made a plan to have
this, but not this, for example,or to have this amount, or to
use this size plate, or I mean,I kind of made a plan with the
Lord ahead of time because it'sin those emotional, emotionally
charged settings that I wouldeat too much in the past, you
(16:30):
know, just without eventhinking.
Um, so that was very life-givingto me as well.
I made the decisions ahead oftime, and that helped me.
Made the decisions with theLord, asking for his guidance.
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (16:45):
I love that.
That's so wise.
And as, you know, another onethat I really liked that you
mentioned was planning a topicthat you could ask her about so
that she would be kind offocused on something positive
that she likes to talk about.
I love that idea.
SPEAKER_00 (17:00):
That's beautiful.
Yeah, it was it was good, itreally worked.
Um, it was really helpful.
Isaiah 26, 3.
I love this verse.
You will keep in perfect peacethose whose minds are steadfast
because they trust you.
That's that's me.
(17:22):
That's my job.
This part.
The first part is, of course,God's job.
He's gonna keep me in perfectpeace.
But what am I being called todo?
Keep my mind steadfast.
My mind needs to be renewedahead of time, and I can
experience that perfect peace.
As I renew my mind, my trust inthe Lord is built.
(17:45):
It gets stronger and strongerand stronger.
And boy, I love the way thatfeels.
And Colossians 3:15.
Let the peace of Christ rule inyour hearts.
Since as members of one body,you were called to peace and be
thankful.
I mean, we are called to peaceand we are called to be
(18:08):
grateful.
We want to let that peace ofChrist rule, actually rule in
our hearts.
It's a beautiful, beautifultruth.
SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
Yeah.
So, friend, this season, yourpeace doesn't have to come from
having the perfect family ordrama-free dinners, right?
It comes from knowing andwalking with the prince of
peace.
He has promised that he hasgiven us his peace, and his
peace walked with him to thecross.
(18:38):
So we know it's good enough forus for sure.
His peace he gives us.
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (18:44):
I know it's so good, and that means that actually you
could be the most calm, peacefulperson in the room.
Not because the people orcircumstances are easy, but
because your heart is alreadyanchored in him.
Wow.
Just imagine that.
Just imagine that.
SPEAKER_01 (19:05):
I am.
Well, thanks for joining us forour holiday survival guide
series.
And if you want to go deeper,explore our five intentions of
spirit-led eating or browse someof our courses and coaching
options at revelationwithin.org.
SPEAKER_00 (19:22):
Yes.
And until next time, renew yourmind, walk with the Lord, and
don't forget, you are deeplyloved.
We are so glad you've been heretoday.
We would love to invite you tojoin us for our next episode of
Revelation Within.
SPEAKER_01 (19:49):
See you next time.
Bye for now.
Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within
on the Go.
I'm Heidi Milesma Epherson, oneof your hosts, and the owner and
the lead coach of theRevelationWithin.org industry.
SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
We are so happy to invite you tojoin us for this episode of
Revelation Within.
(00:35):
Hey, we're so glad you're hereto join us for this final part
of our holiday survival guideseries.
SPEAKER_01 (00:43):
As you may recall, or if you didn't, you can go
back and listen to it eitheragain or for the first time.
In episode one, we talked aboutpreparing your heart and your
intentions for the season.
In episode two, we explored whatto do when, in spite of all our
wonderful intentions, we stillfall short, or what we call
(01:04):
sploogie.
How to renew your mind whenthings don't go perfectly.
How can we think God's thoughtsabout our failures?
SPEAKER_00 (01:13):
So today we're going to talk about a huge trigger for
emotional eating.
What's emotional eating?
Have I ever done that?
unknown (01:22):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (01:24):
So many times.
Okay, holiday stress.
And what about disconnectionfrom God?
We're going to talk aboutrelationships today.
SPEAKER_01 (01:36):
Oh, this is lovely.
Just listen to this list.
Family dynamics, loss, unmetexpectations.
Oh, goodness.
Passive, aggressive commentsfrom Aunt Sally, loneliness,
grief, old wounds.
Oh my goodness.
This time of year tends to stirit all up.
(01:57):
This is gonna be a fun episode.
Yeah.
Are we sure we want to do thisone?
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Let's go have pizza.
Okay, well, let's just startright here.
Don't don't turn off theepisode.
Let's just start here.
God knows that people can bereally hard to deal with.
He knows.
Well, after all, he made us.
(02:24):
He knows.
He gets us.
And he doesn't ask us to denythe reality of what's happening
in our lives that are causingrelational pain.
Instead, he invites us to bringit to him.
SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
Oh, that makes me feel better.
Yeah.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah, we'll see you next time.
Romans 12, 18 tells us if it ispossible, as far as it depends
on you, live at peace witheveryone.
So we're not responsible for howothers act, but we are
(03:04):
responsible for how we respond.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:09):
Well, and that's where food can kind of sneak in
or storm in or rush in or Idon't know, um, stomp around.
How about emotional eating oftenbecomes a form of
self-protection or control orhow about escape?
SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (03:30):
You know, it can feel like a buffer between us
and difficult people.
Um, and I know that I we're notsaying anything that you don't
know.
This this is something that somany of us have experienced.
SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
Yeah, there was a united duh that we heard from
you all.
SPEAKER_00 (03:49):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
When we use food that way, though, you know, we
really tend to miss anopportunity to grow with God, to
kind of bring him into theproblem, into the pain, to let
him shape us instead of himdoing the soothing.
We don't want to self-soothewith food or whatever else.
We want to go to him and let himshape us and soothe us.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Well, and we all know how we feel when we're
self-soothing.
In the moment, maybe for a quicklittle moment, it feels better.
And then very quickly, it feelsworse.
It's draining, it's exhausting,it's bringing us down instead of
up.
And we know that we've done itso many times.
So we really don't want to gothere again.
(04:38):
Um, so imagine someone kind ofpushing your buttons at a
holiday gathering instead ofnumbing out or isolating or
going for a big plate of food.
What if we ask God, Lord, whatare you showing me through this
person or through thissituation?
(04:58):
And is there anything in me thatyou're inviting me to notice, to
heal, or even to surrender?
SPEAKER_01 (05:07):
You know, it's possible that you won't ask
these questions unless you taketime, you know, excuse yourself
and go to the bathroom orsomething.
You know, just take a momentaway, remove yourself from the
situation where you're beingtriggered emotionally, and then
you can ask the Lord thesequestions.
And Psalm 139, verses 23 and 24has a beautiful look and learn
(05:30):
prayer in it.
And this is what David wrote: search me, oh God, and know my (05:32):
undefined
heart, test me and know myanxious thoughts, see if there
is any offensive way in me, andlead me in the way everlasting.
SPEAKER_00 (05:46):
Beautiful.
So, this kind of prayer, I mean,it's like opening a door for God
to speak to us, not just aboutour eating, but about what's
happening in our hearts.
And he greets us always withcompassion, love, patience, all
of those things.
Imagine actually opening thatdoor for God to speak to us
(06:10):
about something really, reallyimportant.
SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
Yeah.
So, what do you suppose itactually looks like to walk in
this?
Here's some ideas that we havefor the event.
Maybe create a truth list aboutthe people or patterns that you
anticipate being hard.
What does God say about you,about your worth, about your
boundaries?
(06:34):
And if you need some fuel for anidentity in Christ truth list,
uh you can visit teamlife isgood.com forward slash identity.
And we have a nice like two anda half page list of things that
the word of God says about whathe says about you.
And that's a great place tostart.
(06:56):
So again, that's teamlife isgood.com forward slash identity.
So before the event, create atruth list, read it out loud,
uh, try to get it to soak intoyour heart and your mind.
And then during the event, takebathroom breaks with the Lord.
He's right there.
You can step outside if you wantto, you can breathe, or whisper
(07:18):
a breath prayer.
Like, you are my peace, evenhere, even now.
You are my peace on the inhale,and even here, even now on the
exhale, or whatever other truthyou might want to incorporate.
You know, again, breath prayingis not mystical or magical, it
just tells my nervous systemthere's no reason to be afraid,
(07:42):
that I can calm down, I can beat peace.
And God loves it when we pairdeep breathing with his truth.
You are my peace, even here,even now.
And then after the event,journal or pray through what
happened.
Ask God what he wants you tocarry forward.
That's you know, really look andlearn is what we're talking
(08:04):
about.
Look with the Lord at the event,at the relationship, at what you
said, at what was said to you,and ask God to show you.
What do I need to know about howthat went?
What do I need to know about howI responded?
And then ask him what he wantsyou to release or carry forward,
what does he want you to learnso that next time you're in a
(08:27):
similar situation, you canemerge victorious.
SPEAKER_00 (08:30):
Proverbs 4, verse 23 says, Above all else, guard your
heart, for everything you doflows from it.
So this means that it's notselfish to protect your
emotional space, it's actuallywise.
God is encouraging us to protectwhat is precious to him, and
(08:52):
that's us.
unknown (08:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
So, how can we renew our mind about difficult people
that we anticipate will beeither at a gathering or that
we'll have to interact with atsome level?
Christina and I are gonna readuh many truth lists that you can
use when people make your lifeless than ideal, maybe.
Yeah.
Um, so go ahead, Christine, readthat first one.
SPEAKER_00 (09:17):
I am not defined by their opinion of me.
SPEAKER_01 (09:22):
God's voice matters more than theirs.
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
I don't have to defend or explain myself.
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
God sees it all and loves me.
SPEAKER_00 (09:34):
My peace comes from Christ, not my circumstances.
SPEAKER_01 (09:40):
My identity is secure.
SPEAKER_00 (09:43):
I can show grace without becoming a doormat.
SPEAKER_01 (09:49):
Boundaries are biblical and loving.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
You know, you might even turn some of these into
personalized prayers.
For example, Lord, help me torespond with your wisdom, not
with my wounds.
Thank you that I don't have toearn approval.
Yours is already mine.
SPEAKER_01 (10:09):
Renew your mind with God's truth before you're caught
in a situation where you'rereacting.
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
Okay, so let's let's not forget, Jesus knows what
it's like to have relationalpain.
I mean, his family thought hewas crazy.
His disciples actually abandonedhim.
Judas betrayed him with a kiss.
I mean, Jesus lived on thisearth and he had all kinds of
(10:37):
relationships, and it wascomplicated at times and tricky
and difficult.
He gets it, he's been here.
SPEAKER_01 (10:45):
Yeah, and yeah, it's true.
He responded with truth, love,boundaries, forgiveness.
And yeah, he didn't avoid hardrelationships, but he also
didn't let them define him, andthat's where I struggle.
I do let those hard thingsdefine me in some way.
You know, I tend to carry thosewounds from my past, and then if
(11:05):
something happens in thepresent, I can easily let let
yeah, it comes rushing back.
SPEAKER_00 (11:12):
Yeah, and that happens to so many of us.
That's the pattern that we'reinvited to follow.
What you just shared, Heidi, notperfection, but presence, you
know, being present with God inour hard moments with people.
SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
Oh, and this is a truth that my peace isn't found
in people.
And I want I want to rememberthis and uh urge you all to
remember this.
People may never give you or mewhat we long for.
That affirmation, the apology,the connection, or the
(11:49):
compassion, they may never come.
That's just the reality.
And God wants to meet with us inthe midst of our disappointment,
in the midst of our heartache,in the midst of yet again
rehearsing the heartache that wewent through last year or that
we're in this year.
He will be enough for us in themidst of that.
SPEAKER_00 (12:12):
Yes.
Yeah.
You know, I'm thinking of asituation that I was in many
years in a row, really.
Um, I used to teach at anelementary school, absolutely
loved it.
Um, but every year we would havethese holiday parties.
And there was one person inparticular who was very
judgmental, very outspoken.
(12:33):
I think everybody kind ofdreaded being around this person
in a social event.
And actually, she was aphenomenal teacher.
She was so good at what she did.
But in a situation that wassocial, she was constantly
stepping on everybody's toes.
And it was unpredictable, it wasnerve-wracking.
(12:57):
I know that I was not alone infeeling this way.
We dreaded being at this partywith her.
And so, what do you do in asituation like that?
So I went to the Lord about it.
I mean, the first few years, Ididn't know how to renew my
mind.
I didn't have any idea what todo.
I just kind of avoided her.
(13:20):
Um, but that's not what Godcalls us to either, just
completely isolating or um, youknow, walking away.
And so I thought, yeah, I'mgonna invite God into this.
God loves this person.
He loves her, he made her.
He is chasing after her, he isdrawing her into his own heart.
(13:40):
He loves her just as he lovesme.
And so one of the ways that Idealt with it was writing a
truth list ahead of time abouther and about God's view of her
and the situation and renewingmy mind about it.
That was huge for me.
I remember having it on littlecards in my desk and pulling
(14:02):
those out just before the party.
But another thing that helped mewas to set up some boundaries
that were life-giving for me.
For example, I made the decisionthat I would never be in a room
alone with her.
I just thought, you know what?
This is a life-giving boundaryfor me.
I don't need to be alone withher in a room where, you know,
(14:25):
she might go off on me orwhatever.
And so that was that was veryintentional.
I was able to, you know, to dothat fairly easily.
And I really felt like God ledme to that as a protective
measure.
Um, another boundary was Iplanned in two breaks during the
party where I would either gointo another room, go outside,
(14:47):
or go in the bathroom, whateverit was, and just spend a minute
kind of debriefing, processingwith the Lord.
How's it going?
You know, how's it going?
And that kind of thing.
And then I had also I had a planfor what I could say to her that
would be something very positivethat she could talk about.
(15:08):
So that was kind of set up aheadof time so I could completely
focus on her, not focus onmyself and ask her about
something that I knew she wouldlove to talk about and share,
maybe a trip she had taken orsomething like that.
And then I was able to set up aboundary where I could say
something and walk away and joinsomeone else for a conversation.
(15:32):
Those are just a few things youcan think of, all kinds of
boundaries, especially if youask for God's wisdom in all of
that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:40):
You know, one of the things I love is, you know, and
we mentioned it previously, totake a break away to check in
with the Lord or to renew yourmind, but you scheduled those
ahead of time.
So it wasn't like you waiteduntil you were in dire straits
and swept up into it to try topull away.
You planned it, you know, andthat's oh, that's such wisdom.
(16:03):
Your boundaries were very wise,obviously.
SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
Well, and the other thing that I did was planned for
the food.
I knew what the food would be,and so I made a plan to have
this, but not this, for example,or to have this amount, or to
use this size plate, or I mean,I kind of made a plan with the
Lord ahead of time because it'sin those emotional, emotionally
charged settings that I wouldeat too much in the past, you
(16:30):
know, just without eventhinking.
Um, so that was very life-givingto me as well.
I made the decisions ahead oftime, and that helped me.
Made the decisions with theLord, asking for his guidance.
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (16:45):
I love that.
That's so wise.
And as, you know, another onethat I really liked that you
mentioned was planning a topicthat you could ask her about so
that she would be kind offocused on something positive
that she likes to talk about.
I love that idea.
SPEAKER_00 (17:00):
That's beautiful.
Yeah, it was it was good, itreally worked.
Um, it was really helpful.
Isaiah 26, 3.
I love this verse.
You will keep in perfect peacethose whose minds are steadfast
because they trust you.
That's that's me.
(17:22):
That's my job.
This part.
The first part is, of course,God's job.
He's gonna keep me in perfectpeace.
But what am I being called todo?
Keep my mind steadfast.
My mind needs to be renewedahead of time, and I can
experience that perfect peace.
As I renew my mind, my trust inthe Lord is built.
(17:45):
It gets stronger and strongerand stronger.
And boy, I love the way thatfeels.
And Colossians 3:15.
Let the peace of Christ rule inyour hearts.
Since as members of one body,you were called to peace and be
thankful.
I mean, we are called to peaceand we are called to be
(18:08):
grateful.
We want to let that peace ofChrist rule, actually rule in
our hearts.
It's a beautiful, beautifultruth.
SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
Yeah.
So, friend, this season, yourpeace doesn't have to come from
having the perfect family ordrama-free dinners, right?
It comes from knowing andwalking with the prince of
peace.
He has promised that he hasgiven us his peace, and his
peace walked with him to thecross.
(18:38):
So we know it's good enough forus for sure.
His peace he gives us.
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (18:44):
I know it's so good, and that means that actually you
could be the most calm, peacefulperson in the room.
Not because the people orcircumstances are easy, but
because your heart is alreadyanchored in him.
Wow.
Just imagine that.
Just imagine that.
SPEAKER_01 (19:05):
I am.
Well, thanks for joining us forour holiday survival guide
series.
And if you want to go deeper,explore our five intentions of
spirit-led eating or browse someof our courses and coaching
options at revelationwithin.org.
SPEAKER_00 (19:22):
Yes.
And until next time, renew yourmind, walk with the Lord, and
don't forget, you are deeplyloved.
We are so glad you've been heretoday.
We would love to invite you tojoin us for our next episode of
Revelation Within.
SPEAKER_01 (19:49):
See you next time.
Bye for now.
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