October 15, 2025 • 32 mins
In this episode, we ask an honest question: is the real issue about losing weight, or about why we want to lose it? We share personal stories—from the stage to the infusion center—about how numbers can become idols, how church culture sometimes mirrors the world’s standards, and how our bodies carry layered stories of illness, medication, and seasons of life. Together, we turn to Scripture for clarity: Romans 12:2 calls for renewal, not conformity; 1 Samuel 16:7 points us back to the heart over appearance; and 1 Corinthians 6 reframes ownership, not aesthetics.
We explore how the size of your body or number on the scale can get treated like a virtue and shift the conversation to motives—stewardship instead of insecurity, service instead of striving. We offer reflection prompts, identity truths to replace shame, and practical ways to reframe body stewardship around peace and function rather than optics. With compassion, we name the complexity of real bodies shaped by trauma, treatment, and hormones, and remind one another that worth can’t be measured by a number. Our hope is to invite listeners into freedom—where the mind of Christ guides our goals and joy is no longer held hostage by a scale.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within
on the Go.
I'm Heidi Bilesma Everson, oneof your hosts, and the owner and
the coach of theRevelationWithin.org ministry.
SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
And I'm Christina Molly, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach, andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
And we are so happy to inviteyou to join us for this very
special episode of RevelationWithin.
SPEAKER_01 (00:39):
Go, go, go, go.
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
Come join us.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Today we're diving into aquestion that we've heard a lot
of times over the years, butespecially over the last two and
a half years since we rebrandedfrom Sin Within to Revelation
Within.
Uh-huh.
Maybe you've asked it too.
Have you asked this question?
(01:05):
Is it a sin or wrong to want tolose weight?
Tricky, tricky, tricky.
Yeah, what do you think of that?
SPEAKER_02 (01:15):
That is a tricky question.
And maybe right next to that isanother question that we don't
always say out loud.
How about this one?
Am I wrong to care this much?
Or am I wrong to judge someoneelse because of their size?
SPEAKER_00 (01:36):
You know, that's something that I've noticed that
goes with those of us who haveover the years, you know, have a
feeling that we need to be acertain size and shape, is we
also tend to evaluate othersthrough that same lens.
Yep.
I know that there was a timewhere this is hard for me.
(01:57):
Oh, this is a hard one for me totalk about, but yeah, talk about
it anyway.
SPEAKER_02 (02:01):
Okay, go, go.
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Years and years and years ago, when I struggled with
my weight, I still can strugglewith it, but this happened years
ago.
I if I was on the upswing, Iwould step down from the worship
team.
Or I would step down from reallyI didn't know that.
(02:22):
Yes, I felt like I was a poorreflection of somebody who loved
the Lord.
Now, this is not what we teach.
No, no, no, no, no, absolutelynot.
But I I remember not that longago, it was probably within the
last couple of years.
Somebody in one of our classessaid how she struggles with
(02:45):
seeing overweight pastors oroverweight worship leaders
because she thinks theyshouldn't be that way.
And I get it, I get it, but youknow, we want to talk about this
a little bit.
And yeah, again, it's anotherbull to take by the horns.
SPEAKER_02 (02:59):
There's a lot of bulls running around, and we're
riding this is a topic thattakes courage.
SPEAKER_00 (03:07):
Oh, and I don't know if I have it or not, but um it's
and it's really not so black andwhite.
No, there's so much underneathit, but it's really worth
swallowing and getting up thecourage to dig into it with
honesty and yes, gentleness, ofcourse.
Yeah, like our Lord does, andscripture.
SPEAKER_02 (03:28):
Yep, let's do that.
You know, my mom was somebodywho really struggled with her
weight her whole life, and shewas very, very judgmental toward
others, you know, secretlybehind the scenes.
She would have never saidanything.
And I I always wondered aboutthat.
And I always thought, what isthis about?
(03:50):
You know, why wouldn't she havecompassion toward others who are
struggling?
And I think it was just thissense of of fear, and just like,
you know, she couldn't, she feltout of control with her own
situation.
She felt condemned with her ownsituation.
And I think this happens with alot of us, and so we look at
(04:13):
someone else and say, oh, well,oh, well, this.
And it's just our hearts arebroken, is what it is.
Our hearts are broken.
SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
That's a nice way of looking at it.
Um it really is.
And I think we're gonna betalking this episode about some
of the truth behind what mightbe going on when somebody is
struggling with their size, andit's not because they're
overeating.
Um, I think it's important torecognize that there are yes,
(04:44):
there's true situations in thisworld.
SPEAKER_02 (04:46):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (04:47):
Absolutely.
No matter what I eat, I may notlook like I eat that much or
that little or whatever mightbe.
SPEAKER_02 (04:52):
But anyway, so let's begin here.
Wanting to lose weight in and ofitself isn't sinful.
What?
Yeah, what?
But like so many things in ourwalk with God, it comes down to
motivation.
What's going on behind it?
What's going on inside?
What's going on in our heartsand minds?
(05:14):
Why do I want to lose weight?
What am I hoping weight losswill do for me?
What does it say about what Ibelieve about God and about
myself?
Ooh.
Big questions.
I mean, these are questions thattake courage to ask.
And actually, for many of us,they run really deep.
SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
Really deep.
So don't go away.
Don't go away.
More for you.
And of course, let's mentionRomans 12.2 because what episode
would be complete without it?
Not a one.
Yeah, Romans 12.2 says, do notconform to the pattern of this
world, but to be transformed bythe renewing of your mind.
(06:00):
Well, the pattern of this worldis obsession with appearance for
sure, with numbers, with size,with programs, with ways of six
days to a perfect body orwhatever.
This world trains us to measureour worth by what we look like,
not who we are in Christ.
(06:21):
We are taught from an early age,early, early, early, that thin
equals beautiful, lovable,acceptable, even godly.
Oh, is that true?
God, what do you have to sayabout that?
SPEAKER_02 (06:35):
Oh my goodness.
Well, and we want to askquestions like where did we
learn this?
Who told us that we're onlyworthy if we weighed a certain
number of pounds?
Oh my gosh, where did thatbegin?
Was that from God's word?
No.
No, no, no, no, that came fromthe culture that we live in.
(07:00):
That came from the voices thatare all around us.
Years ago, it came frommagazines, but now it comes from
social media and the internetand even our families.
SPEAKER_00 (07:13):
Oh, yeah, and church, church too.
And this is really where it getssuper tricky.
Yeah.
When our desire to lose weightturns into a need to weigh a
certain number so that we canfinally feel like we've done it,
we've arrived, we feel accepted,we feel approved, we feel
confident, we feel loved.
(07:34):
We have perhaps crossed overinto idolatry.
The number becomes our savior.
Yes, we want to bow before it.
I remember this so well when Ilived in this place all the
time, and it fed that behaviorgetting on the scale 25 times a
(07:55):
day.
Okay, maybe not 25, but at leastfive, okay, for sure.
And it was like, okay, I've gotto eat so little that I can hit
this particular number that Ihad in my head.
And I remember, I remember Iwanted to lose 100 pounds, not
96, not 98, but 100 pounds.
But the trick was, what was itgonna take me to get to that
(08:18):
place?
And what would happen afterthat?
Yeah, yikes, it was an idol inmy life.
That one zero zero was a bigidol in my life.
Wow, and the number on the scalewas, and it was like I looked to
it to provide my salvation onthis planet.
I don't mean salvation fromhell, I mean I will be liked,
people will treat me but andthey do.
(08:39):
I hate to say this, people dotreat me differently depending
upon my size.
I have been all sizes andshapes, and I was treated best
when I was thin.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02 (08:55):
Yep.
Whew.
This is um, yeah, this is a hardtopic.
I mean, boy, I think of all thetimes that I stood on that scale
and celebrated, but all theother times where I stood on
that scale, and I I justthought, I'm not enough, I'm not
(09:15):
enough, I'm not enough, I'm notenough.
And who is God in all this?
How does he see us?
That's the focus, that's wherewe need to go.
So, and then when we projectthat standard onto others, whoa,
that's judgment, that's pride,that's not the mind of Christ.
That's the mean church lady.
SPEAKER_03 (09:38):
Yeah, I remember it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:40):
Maybe you've never said one of those judgments out
loud, but they have been in yourmind.
And in my mind, we're we're allguilty of this.
We've all done this.
There's not a single person thathasn't judged someone else.
We've all done it.
SPEAKER_00 (09:56):
But there was a mean church lady at my church a long
time ago who didn't keep them inher mind.
She let those words out of hermouth.
I was on the worship team at thetime, even though I had been
gaining weight at that time inmy life.
And she had the audacity.
(10:18):
Oh my gosh.
This is kind of when it becameclearer to me that there is a
moral issue here, but it's notabout my size.
Right.
She told me that my extra weightwas actually keeping the glory
of God from being recognizablein me.
Oh my gosh.
I know that mean church.
(10:39):
I'm so sorry.
She told another woman sheneeded a breast reduction.
I'm like, what?
Does that have to do?
Yeah, exactly.
I don't get it.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, so it just proves 1 Samuel16, 7 is true.
People look at the outwardappearance.
They do, they do, but the Lordlooks at the heart.
(11:01):
Right, right.
Thank you, Lord, for looking atmy heart.
And God has never, no, not ever,ever, ever asked us to fix our
bodies to earn his love.
Never.
And he never will.
He already proved his love whilewe were still sinners.
That's from Romans 5:8.
SPEAKER_02 (11:23):
Yeah.
Wow.
When I think with the mind ofChrist, I begin to see what
really matters.
I mean, how do I know?
The world is screaming at meevery day, all the time.
How do I know what reallymatters to God?
I have to go to his word and Ihave to ask his spirit inside of
me.
That's the mind of Christ.
(11:44):
His kingdom isn't built onsix-pack abs or dress sizes.
It's not.
Go to the word and see if it is.
You will not find it.
You will not find it.
It's built on surrender,humility, and love.
That's what it's built on.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
That makes me think of another verse in Romans
chapter 14.
I forget which verse it isexactly, but it says the kingdom
of God is not about eating anddrinking.
It's about righteousness, peace,and love, I think, or maybe joy
in the Holy Spirit.
Wow.
I mean, that is not what theworld teaches us at all.
SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
No, it's kind of a whole, it's really the opposite
of the world, of what the worldteaches us.
The very opposite.
SPEAKER_00 (13:37):
All right.
So we've got to address thewhole stewardship conversation
too, because that's if we'vebeen hanging out in Christian
churches for very long, orcircles, or some of those are
homeschooling things for me.
This comes up, we need to begodly stewards of our bodies.
A lot of us were taught inchurch circles that we have to
(13:59):
take care of our bodies as anact of worship.
And certainly that's true.
There's no question that it'strue.
Right.
But let's be honest.
Sometimes what's actually beingpromoted in the name of health
and godly stewardship isactually a Christianized version
(14:20):
of the world's standards that weare called to not be conform to.
That's intense.
Oh my goodness.
It's like we have hidden thetruth beneath Christianity and
Christian terms and all of this,but the truth is it's still the
world's gospel.
It's their gospel.
(14:42):
And it's not God's gospel.
Things like you've got to be fitto honor the Lord.
Um, you've got to lose weight tohonor God.
Your body is the temple, so makeit look amazing.
Oh, and the tricky thing is,some of these might even sound
like they've got a modicum oftruth to them.
Yeah, but they've been twistedjust a bit to be lies, really.
(15:06):
Yeah.
Lose weight to honor God.
Oh, yeah.
You know, he tells us thatwhether you eat or drink, do all
to the glory of God.
He doesn't say whether you loseweight or not, do all to the
glory of God.
I don't know, maybe that's alittle off the topic, but
anyway.
SPEAKER_02 (15:22):
Well, so here's the thing
bodies.
Yeah.
I mean, he made our bodies, hemade us fearfully and
wonderfully.
He calls us his masterpiece.
He loves our bodies, and ourbodies are amazing.
You know, when we really thinkabout our ears and our eyes and
and our muscles and the bloodflowing through our bodies,
(15:44):
that's just incredible.
And then you think of, wait aminute, God dwells in us, his
Holy Spirit is in us.
He wants us to care for ourbodies as vessels of his spirit.
Absolutely.
That is absolutely true.
Yeah.
But never once does he say, makesure you're a size six so you
(16:06):
can glorify me.
I mean, where did we get that?
You know, where do we get that?
From the world.
It's so easy for us to bedistracted.
It's so easy for us to try totake the world's message and
meld it in with God's truth.
We have to be so careful, all ofus.
(16:26):
I mean, I know I do, but God'struth is clear.
God loves what he made in us.
We're actually made in his veryimage.
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
Thanks for sharing that.
First Corinthians 6, 19, and 20is a verse that is quoted
oftentimes in Christian programsto help people get fit, stay
fit, lose weight, whatever.
But we're gonna put it in itscontext here.
Yeah.
So it says, you are not yourown, you were bought with a
(16:58):
price.
Therefore, honor God with yourbodies.
It's about ownership, it's notabout appearance.
Our bodies aren't our project,they're his, his in every way,
shape, and form.
Definitely.
SPEAKER_02 (17:14):
Yes.
So if someone feels led topursue weight loss for a medical
reason or to increase strengthand stamina to serve others,
that's not a sin.
That's not shameful.
It comes down to the posture ofthe heart.
SPEAKER_00 (17:32):
And of course, so very often we let the scale
define us.
And um, so let's ask some hardquestions related to this.
Do I measure my lovability byhow I look or what I weigh?
Think about that for a moment.
Do I measure my lovability byhow I look or what I weigh?
(17:56):
Do I see others that way?
Have I elevated thinness to avirtue?
This is really hitting the issueabout why we felt one reason
anyway, why we felt we needed torebrand from thin within to
revelation within.
(18:16):
We didn't want anybody to thinkthat we are elevating thin above
all of the other things that Godesteems.
Yes.
And you know, he esteems thosewhose hearts belong to him.
And not that you have to pickone or the other, but so very
often we do.
We sacrifice pursuing the Lordand his heart for the sake of
(18:41):
what our bodies will look like.
Oh, and it's tricky, but I'mjust gonna ask those questions
again in case you need to hearthem again.
Do I measure my lovability byhow I look or what I weigh?
Do I see others that way?
Have I elevated thinness to avirtue?
SPEAKER_02 (19:00):
Well, these are tender questions.
But you know what?
If we're honest, many of us havecarried this belief that we will
be more if we weigh less.
But God has already declaredthat we are his masterpiece in
Ephesians 2.10.
He has already told us what ourworth is and where it comes
(19:22):
from.
The question has been answeredby God himself.
SPEAKER_00 (19:29):
And you know what?
The fact is, sometimes ourbodies do change through
illness, medication, trauma.
There's a million reasons ourbodies might change.
Not all weight gain is fromovereating.
So let's extend grace both toourselves and to others.
It doesn't mean that we'recondoning sin.
It may not be sin.
I mean, and I just have to sayright now that when I had quite
(19:53):
an extensive medical issue, adefinite challenge in my life in
2014, I had to then go onantibiotics for the rest of my
life.
And I haven't told all of thedetails of this story ever
before, but I'm gonna say itnow.
Since I was released from thehospital during that time, and
(20:14):
after a back surgery and allkinds of rehab to learn how to
walk again and so on and soforth, I've been on antibiotics
since that time, since 2014.
And my weight has escalated andescalated and escalated.
And you know what?
It hasn't always been inresponse to what I've eaten.
(20:34):
In fact, I can say thatprobably, oh, the last 50 pounds
or so have not been.
I don't know.
I don't know how much of thisweight that I'm carrying.
I carry a lot of extra weight.
And I don't want to because Iknow it's a strain for my heart.
I know that it's a strain for myjoints, but I also know that it
(20:56):
is not reflective of my eatingright now.
I know that.
I know that.
And it's an extreme situation.
It's not everybody's struggle,but not all weight gain is from
overeating.
So when we judge others orourselves, it's wrong.
It's flat out.
That's where the sin is.
SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
Yeah, right.
Yeah, and I'm finding myself inthis really strange position for
the first time in my life whereI am being treated for breast
cancer, and I'm actuallyconcerned about losing too much
weight over time.
I've got seven months of chemo,which is so hard on the body,
(21:40):
and it's difficult to keep yourweight where it is during
something like that.
And I've never thought thoughtslike that before.
Never.
I've always thought the otherway.
And so, you know, I'm at ahealthy size right now, but I'm
concerned because I've still gotmonths and months to go.
(22:03):
And I want to be sure that mybody is as strong as it can be
to fight.
My body is fighting so hardright now.
And like I said, for the firsttime, I'm thinking, am I going
to lose too much weight becauseI see this all around me in the
infusion center where I get mytreatment and things like that.
(22:24):
And I'm like, Lord, you havebrought me full circle.
Like, I am at this whole otherplace now that I never even
imagined I would be.
And it's giving me a wholedifferent view of what other
people might be going through.
Really, either way, overweightor underweight, it's kind of the
same thing in many ways.
(22:45):
It's not always gonna be howyou're eating.
There are other factors, so manyother factors.
And we don't know what they are,you know, unless we ask or have
a conversation with somebodyafter we've loved them well.
SPEAKER_00 (23:01):
Yeah, they'll say if somebody gave me, why are you so
fat?
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
Oh, like no.
SPEAKER_00 (23:06):
No, no, no, no, no, I'm talking about glory of God
limited as it emerges from yourbody.
Oh, I can't believe that womansaid that.
SPEAKER_02 (23:15):
Oh, God.
SPEAKER_00 (23:17):
I was in this a similar position in that because
of the sickness that I had andwhat was going on with my body,
I lost a dangerous amount ofweight.
And so the doctors were tryingto give me things to add weight
to my body.
You can't tell somebody who wasso disordered with their eating
years before that they need togain weight, gain weight, gain
(23:39):
weight.
SPEAKER_02 (23:39):
Somebody told me once, and I I love this if you
find yourself for any reasonpointing your finger at someone
else, even if it's not like youknow, your actual finger, you're
doing it in your mind or in, youknow, that kind of thing, before
you think another thought, turnthat finger to yourself and
(24:00):
figure out what is going on.
Why am I in this position?
Uh, why am I judging this otherperson?
Something is going on withmyself, something is not right
with my soul.
That is not the mind of Christ.
No.
So 1 Corinthians 2.16 tells usthat we've been given the mind
(24:21):
of Christ.
We want to think with his mind.
Philippians 2.5 says, Let thismind be in you, which was also
in Christ Jesus.
And 2 Corinthians 10.5 tells us,take every thought captive to
make it obedient to Christ.
When I think with the mind ofChrist, these are some of the
(24:44):
questions that come up.
What does God say about me?
Am I following his lead or am Ifollowing the world's pattern?
Is my desire to lose weightcoming from insecurity or
stewardship?
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
Good questions.
SPEAKER_02 (25:05):
Yeah, those are good questions.
SPEAKER_00 (25:07):
Run through them again in case somebody needs to
hear them again.
SPEAKER_02 (25:10):
What does he say about me?
He being God.
Am I following his lead or am Ifollowing the world's pattern?
Is my desire to lose weightcoming from insecurity or from
stewardship?
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
And then we want to listen because if we ask him
that, yes, and the answer isinsecurity, that's not the time
for shame, which is often wherewe go.
Right.
But it is the time for truth.
Truth that says you arefearfully and wonderful made.
Psalm 139.14.
You are chosen, holy, and dearlyloved.
(25:50):
Colossians 3:12.
You are not your body, you arehis.
Romans 14.
SPEAKER_02 (25:56):
Does it really say that, Heidi?
Yeah.
I love that verse.
That's amazing, amazing.
And you know what?
If you want more of those, wehave a resource for you.
We have a whole list that wecall our Who Am I in Christ
list.
And it is one of my favoritego-tos when I get confused or
(26:17):
start believing lies about thissubject.
SPEAKER_00 (26:20):
You'll find that at teamlife is good.com forward
slash identity.
TeamLifisgood.com forward slashidentity.
And you will be able to downloadthat list of who I am in Christ.
SPEAKER_02 (26:33):
Thank you, Heidi.
Awesome.
Okay, so we have some reflectionquestions that we want to close
with.
And these are questions thatwe've asked ourselves.
I mean, we are in this boat withyou.
And we ask God too.
Because He's the one that knowsme better than I know myself.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
So these are questions that youmight want to take to God in a
(26:55):
quiet moment and just have aconversation, as if you're
talking with your best friend,because you are.
You are okay.
The first one, why do I want tolose weight?
SPEAKER_00 (27:09):
Yeah, and that one, you know, if you come up with an
answer too quick, maybe slowdown and ask the Lord to speak
very clearly to you about it.
Because He knows.
Another question you can ask himis where did I learn that I
needed to look a certain way tobe worthy?
(27:29):
Here's here's something kind ofrelated to that second question,
too, is in our From Shame toShalom class that we have, we
are looking at uh what the Lordsaid.
His his question to Adam and Eveafter they had um you know done
something they shouldn't have,they had eaten the fruit.
He's he asked them, who told youthat you were naked?
(27:52):
Who told you?
Yeah.
And in our case, maybe who toldyou you aren't lovable the way
that you are?
Right.
Who told you that you have tobe, I don't know, whatever
weight is stuck in your headthat you need to get to?
I mean, I am floored.
How many different people amongus have a number in their heads?
And it's a really good question.
(28:13):
Who told you that that's thenumber that's perfect for you?
Who told you that?
Where did we learn that we needto look a certain way to be
worthy?
SPEAKER_02 (28:22):
Yeah.
Another question Am I using thesame standard to judge others?
SPEAKER_00 (28:29):
Oh, you don't want to be a mean church lady.
No, no, no, because that's whatwe end up being when we, you
know, use those standards tojudge others.
Yeah.
I mean, we have not walked inanybody else's shoes for sure.
And Romans 14 also addressesthis.
It's like God tells us in thatchapter not to judge another
man's servant.
(28:49):
All right.
So here's another question tothink on and pray through.
What would it look like to thinkabout this, weight loss or not,
with the mind of Christ?
Yeah.
Really big question.
It is, it is.
And for years, I've felt soobsessed with all of this stuff,
(29:12):
weight loss and maintaining andmuscle building, and uh on and
on and on.
It went.
Am I getting more definition oram I getting more bulk?
And all these crazy questionsabout my body.
What would it look like to thinkabout this with the mind of
Christ?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:29):
We have whole classes about this in Revelation
within, and they are fantastic.
Yeah.
Okay.
And am I willing to let God leadeven in this?
Good question, right?
I mean, how many years did Isay, nope?
(29:49):
Lord, you stay over there.
I'll work on this, and thenwe'll come together when I've
figured it out.
Not even close.
You know, there's no freedomthere, there's no peace there.
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
Well, friend, it's okay to ask these questions.
It's more than okay, really.
It's okay to bring them to God.
Again, it's more than okay.
Bringing these questions to Godis a great idea.
He's not afraid of them.
He's not waiting for you to fixyour body.
Would you get it right, please?
No, he doesn't say that to you.
He is longing for your heart,for your heart to belong to him
(30:23):
completely, for your heart to behis, yeah, for your heart to be
free.
How much of our heart burden isbecause we put these things on
ourselves?
I have to be this size, I haveto be this shape, this fitness
level, I have to eat this way, Ihave to do this before that
reunion, I have to do thisbefore we go on that cruise, or
(30:45):
whatever it might be, or beforethe holiday season.
Which is where we are right now.
Yes, we are on the cusp of well,even now you walk through Costco
and you see holidays, have aride.
SPEAKER_02 (30:59):
God is longing for our hearts.
Yeah.
So this might have reallystirred something up in you.
If you want to walk this out incommunity with others who really
get it, we would love to inviteyou into our Revelation Within
community.
Oh my gosh, we have an amazing,amazing group of people there.
(31:21):
They are amazing.
Oh, I love them so much.
You will find grace, truth, lotsand lots of practical tools, and
a whole lot of freedom in ourcommunity.
SPEAKER_00 (31:35):
We will be back with another episode, but until then,
renew your mind because that'swhat God wants us to do in order
to experience transformation.
Surrender your body and yourheart.
Be at peace in the one who madeyou.
SPEAKER_02 (31:52):
We are so glad that you have been here with us
today, and we hope that you willjoin us for our next episode of
Revelation Within.
SPEAKER_01 (32:09):
We both have arms in the air.
Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within
on the Go.
I'm Heidi Bilesma Everson, oneof your hosts, and the owner and
the coach of theRevelationWithin.org ministry.
SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
And I'm Christina Molly, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach, andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
And we are so happy to inviteyou to join us for this very
special episode of RevelationWithin.
SPEAKER_01 (00:39):
Go, go, go, go.
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
Come join us.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Today we're diving into aquestion that we've heard a lot
of times over the years, butespecially over the last two and
a half years since we rebrandedfrom Sin Within to Revelation
Within.
Uh-huh.
Maybe you've asked it too.
Have you asked this question?
(01:05):
Is it a sin or wrong to want tolose weight?
Tricky, tricky, tricky.
Yeah, what do you think of that?
SPEAKER_02 (01:15):
That is a tricky question.
And maybe right next to that isanother question that we don't
always say out loud.
How about this one?
Am I wrong to care this much?
Or am I wrong to judge someoneelse because of their size?
SPEAKER_00 (01:36):
You know, that's something that I've noticed that
goes with those of us who haveover the years, you know, have a
feeling that we need to be acertain size and shape, is we
also tend to evaluate othersthrough that same lens.
Yep.
I know that there was a timewhere this is hard for me.
(01:57):
Oh, this is a hard one for me totalk about, but yeah, talk about
it anyway.
SPEAKER_02 (02:01):
Okay, go, go.
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Years and years and years ago, when I struggled with
my weight, I still can strugglewith it, but this happened years
ago.
I if I was on the upswing, Iwould step down from the worship
team.
Or I would step down from reallyI didn't know that.
(02:22):
Yes, I felt like I was a poorreflection of somebody who loved
the Lord.
Now, this is not what we teach.
No, no, no, no, no, absolutelynot.
But I I remember not that longago, it was probably within the
last couple of years.
Somebody in one of our classessaid how she struggles with
(02:45):
seeing overweight pastors oroverweight worship leaders
because she thinks theyshouldn't be that way.
And I get it, I get it, but youknow, we want to talk about this
a little bit.
And yeah, again, it's anotherbull to take by the horns.
SPEAKER_02 (02:59):
There's a lot of bulls running around, and we're
riding this is a topic thattakes courage.
SPEAKER_00 (03:07):
Oh, and I don't know if I have it or not, but um it's
and it's really not so black andwhite.
No, there's so much underneathit, but it's really worth
swallowing and getting up thecourage to dig into it with
honesty and yes, gentleness, ofcourse.
Yeah, like our Lord does, andscripture.
SPEAKER_02 (03:28):
Yep, let's do that.
You know, my mom was somebodywho really struggled with her
weight her whole life, and shewas very, very judgmental toward
others, you know, secretlybehind the scenes.
She would have never saidanything.
And I I always wondered aboutthat.
And I always thought, what isthis about?
(03:50):
You know, why wouldn't she havecompassion toward others who are
struggling?
And I think it was just thissense of of fear, and just like,
you know, she couldn't, she feltout of control with her own
situation.
She felt condemned with her ownsituation.
And I think this happens with alot of us, and so we look at
(04:13):
someone else and say, oh, well,oh, well, this.
And it's just our hearts arebroken, is what it is.
Our hearts are broken.
SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
That's a nice way of looking at it.
Um it really is.
And I think we're gonna betalking this episode about some
of the truth behind what mightbe going on when somebody is
struggling with their size, andit's not because they're
overeating.
Um, I think it's important torecognize that there are yes,
(04:44):
there's true situations in thisworld.
SPEAKER_02 (04:46):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (04:47):
Absolutely.
No matter what I eat, I may notlook like I eat that much or
that little or whatever mightbe.
SPEAKER_02 (04:52):
But anyway, so let's begin here.
Wanting to lose weight in and ofitself isn't sinful.
What?
Yeah, what?
But like so many things in ourwalk with God, it comes down to
motivation.
What's going on behind it?
What's going on inside?
What's going on in our heartsand minds?
(05:14):
Why do I want to lose weight?
What am I hoping weight losswill do for me?
What does it say about what Ibelieve about God and about
myself?
Ooh.
Big questions.
I mean, these are questions thattake courage to ask.
And actually, for many of us,they run really deep.
SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
Really deep.
So don't go away.
Don't go away.
More for you.
And of course, let's mentionRomans 12.2 because what episode
would be complete without it?
Not a one.
Yeah, Romans 12.2 says, do notconform to the pattern of this
world, but to be transformed bythe renewing of your mind.
(06:00):
Well, the pattern of this worldis obsession with appearance for
sure, with numbers, with size,with programs, with ways of six
days to a perfect body orwhatever.
This world trains us to measureour worth by what we look like,
not who we are in Christ.
(06:21):
We are taught from an early age,early, early, early, that thin
equals beautiful, lovable,acceptable, even godly.
Oh, is that true?
God, what do you have to sayabout that?
SPEAKER_02 (06:35):
Oh my goodness.
Well, and we want to askquestions like where did we
learn this?
Who told us that we're onlyworthy if we weighed a certain
number of pounds?
Oh my gosh, where did thatbegin?
Was that from God's word?
No.
No, no, no, no, that came fromthe culture that we live in.
(07:00):
That came from the voices thatare all around us.
Years ago, it came frommagazines, but now it comes from
social media and the internetand even our families.
SPEAKER_00 (07:13):
Oh, yeah, and church, church too.
And this is really where it getssuper tricky.
Yeah.
When our desire to lose weightturns into a need to weigh a
certain number so that we canfinally feel like we've done it,
we've arrived, we feel accepted,we feel approved, we feel
confident, we feel loved.
(07:34):
We have perhaps crossed overinto idolatry.
The number becomes our savior.
Yes, we want to bow before it.
I remember this so well when Ilived in this place all the
time, and it fed that behaviorgetting on the scale 25 times a
(07:55):
day.
Okay, maybe not 25, but at leastfive, okay, for sure.
And it was like, okay, I've gotto eat so little that I can hit
this particular number that Ihad in my head.
And I remember, I remember Iwanted to lose 100 pounds, not
96, not 98, but 100 pounds.
But the trick was, what was itgonna take me to get to that
(08:18):
place?
And what would happen afterthat?
Yeah, yikes, it was an idol inmy life.
That one zero zero was a bigidol in my life.
Wow, and the number on the scalewas, and it was like I looked to
it to provide my salvation onthis planet.
I don't mean salvation fromhell, I mean I will be liked,
people will treat me but andthey do.
(08:39):
I hate to say this, people dotreat me differently depending
upon my size.
I have been all sizes andshapes, and I was treated best
when I was thin.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02 (08:55):
Yep.
Whew.
This is um, yeah, this is a hardtopic.
I mean, boy, I think of all thetimes that I stood on that scale
and celebrated, but all theother times where I stood on
that scale, and I I justthought, I'm not enough, I'm not
(09:15):
enough, I'm not enough, I'm notenough.
And who is God in all this?
How does he see us?
That's the focus, that's wherewe need to go.
So, and then when we projectthat standard onto others, whoa,
that's judgment, that's pride,that's not the mind of Christ.
That's the mean church lady.
SPEAKER_03 (09:38):
Yeah, I remember it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:40):
Maybe you've never said one of those judgments out
loud, but they have been in yourmind.
And in my mind, we're we're allguilty of this.
We've all done this.
There's not a single person thathasn't judged someone else.
We've all done it.
SPEAKER_00 (09:56):
But there was a mean church lady at my church a long
time ago who didn't keep them inher mind.
She let those words out of hermouth.
I was on the worship team at thetime, even though I had been
gaining weight at that time inmy life.
And she had the audacity.
(10:18):
Oh my gosh.
This is kind of when it becameclearer to me that there is a
moral issue here, but it's notabout my size.
Right.
She told me that my extra weightwas actually keeping the glory
of God from being recognizablein me.
Oh my gosh.
I know that mean church.
(10:39):
I'm so sorry.
She told another woman sheneeded a breast reduction.
I'm like, what?
Does that have to do?
Yeah, exactly.
I don't get it.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, so it just proves 1 Samuel16, 7 is true.
People look at the outwardappearance.
They do, they do, but the Lordlooks at the heart.
(11:01):
Right, right.
Thank you, Lord, for looking atmy heart.
And God has never, no, not ever,ever, ever asked us to fix our
bodies to earn his love.
Never.
And he never will.
He already proved his love whilewe were still sinners.
That's from Romans 5:8.
SPEAKER_02 (11:23):
Yeah.
Wow.
When I think with the mind ofChrist, I begin to see what
really matters.
I mean, how do I know?
The world is screaming at meevery day, all the time.
How do I know what reallymatters to God?
I have to go to his word and Ihave to ask his spirit inside of
me.
That's the mind of Christ.
(11:44):
His kingdom isn't built onsix-pack abs or dress sizes.
It's not.
Go to the word and see if it is.
You will not find it.
You will not find it.
It's built on surrender,humility, and love.
That's what it's built on.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
That makes me think of another verse in Romans
chapter 14.
I forget which verse it isexactly, but it says the kingdom
of God is not about eating anddrinking.
It's about righteousness, peace,and love, I think, or maybe joy
in the Holy Spirit.
Wow.
I mean, that is not what theworld teaches us at all.
SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
No, it's kind of a whole, it's really the opposite
of the world, of what the worldteaches us.
The very opposite.
SPEAKER_00 (13:37):
All right.
So we've got to address thewhole stewardship conversation
too, because that's if we'vebeen hanging out in Christian
churches for very long, orcircles, or some of those are
homeschooling things for me.
This comes up, we need to begodly stewards of our bodies.
A lot of us were taught inchurch circles that we have to
(13:59):
take care of our bodies as anact of worship.
And certainly that's true.
There's no question that it'strue.
Right.
But let's be honest.
Sometimes what's actually beingpromoted in the name of health
and godly stewardship isactually a Christianized version
(14:20):
of the world's standards that weare called to not be conform to.
That's intense.
Oh my goodness.
It's like we have hidden thetruth beneath Christianity and
Christian terms and all of this,but the truth is it's still the
world's gospel.
It's their gospel.
(14:42):
And it's not God's gospel.
Things like you've got to be fitto honor the Lord.
Um, you've got to lose weight tohonor God.
Your body is the temple, so makeit look amazing.
Oh, and the tricky thing is,some of these might even sound
like they've got a modicum oftruth to them.
Yeah, but they've been twistedjust a bit to be lies, really.
(15:06):
Yeah.
Lose weight to honor God.
Oh, yeah.
You know, he tells us thatwhether you eat or drink, do all
to the glory of God.
He doesn't say whether you loseweight or not, do all to the
glory of God.
I don't know, maybe that's alittle off the topic, but
anyway.
SPEAKER_02 (15:22):
Well, so here's the thing
bodies.
Yeah.
I mean, he made our bodies, hemade us fearfully and
wonderfully.
He calls us his masterpiece.
He loves our bodies, and ourbodies are amazing.
You know, when we really thinkabout our ears and our eyes and
and our muscles and the bloodflowing through our bodies,
(15:44):
that's just incredible.
And then you think of, wait aminute, God dwells in us, his
Holy Spirit is in us.
He wants us to care for ourbodies as vessels of his spirit.
Absolutely.
That is absolutely true.
Yeah.
But never once does he say, makesure you're a size six so you
(16:06):
can glorify me.
I mean, where did we get that?
You know, where do we get that?
From the world.
It's so easy for us to bedistracted.
It's so easy for us to try totake the world's message and
meld it in with God's truth.
We have to be so careful, all ofus.
(16:26):
I mean, I know I do, but God'struth is clear.
God loves what he made in us.
We're actually made in his veryimage.
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
Thanks for sharing that.
First Corinthians 6, 19, and 20is a verse that is quoted
oftentimes in Christian programsto help people get fit, stay
fit, lose weight, whatever.
But we're gonna put it in itscontext here.
Yeah.
So it says, you are not yourown, you were bought with a
(16:58):
price.
Therefore, honor God with yourbodies.
It's about ownership, it's notabout appearance.
Our bodies aren't our project,they're his, his in every way,
shape, and form.
Definitely.
SPEAKER_02 (17:14):
Yes.
So if someone feels led topursue weight loss for a medical
reason or to increase strengthand stamina to serve others,
that's not a sin.
That's not shameful.
It comes down to the posture ofthe heart.
SPEAKER_00 (17:32):
And of course, so very often we let the scale
define us.
And um, so let's ask some hardquestions related to this.
Do I measure my lovability byhow I look or what I weigh?
Think about that for a moment.
Do I measure my lovability byhow I look or what I weigh?
(17:56):
Do I see others that way?
Have I elevated thinness to avirtue?
This is really hitting the issueabout why we felt one reason
anyway, why we felt we needed torebrand from thin within to
revelation within.
(18:16):
We didn't want anybody to thinkthat we are elevating thin above
all of the other things that Godesteems.
Yes.
And you know, he esteems thosewhose hearts belong to him.
And not that you have to pickone or the other, but so very
often we do.
We sacrifice pursuing the Lordand his heart for the sake of
(18:41):
what our bodies will look like.
Oh, and it's tricky, but I'mjust gonna ask those questions
again in case you need to hearthem again.
Do I measure my lovability byhow I look or what I weigh?
Do I see others that way?
Have I elevated thinness to avirtue?
SPEAKER_02 (19:00):
Well, these are tender questions.
But you know what?
If we're honest, many of us havecarried this belief that we will
be more if we weigh less.
But God has already declaredthat we are his masterpiece in
Ephesians 2.10.
He has already told us what ourworth is and where it comes
(19:22):
from.
The question has been answeredby God himself.
SPEAKER_00 (19:29):
And you know what?
The fact is, sometimes ourbodies do change through
illness, medication, trauma.
There's a million reasons ourbodies might change.
Not all weight gain is fromovereating.
So let's extend grace both toourselves and to others.
It doesn't mean that we'recondoning sin.
It may not be sin.
I mean, and I just have to sayright now that when I had quite
(19:53):
an extensive medical issue, adefinite challenge in my life in
2014, I had to then go onantibiotics for the rest of my
life.
And I haven't told all of thedetails of this story ever
before, but I'm gonna say itnow.
Since I was released from thehospital during that time, and
(20:14):
after a back surgery and allkinds of rehab to learn how to
walk again and so on and soforth, I've been on antibiotics
since that time, since 2014.
And my weight has escalated andescalated and escalated.
And you know what?
It hasn't always been inresponse to what I've eaten.
(20:34):
In fact, I can say thatprobably, oh, the last 50 pounds
or so have not been.
I don't know.
I don't know how much of thisweight that I'm carrying.
I carry a lot of extra weight.
And I don't want to because Iknow it's a strain for my heart.
I know that it's a strain for myjoints, but I also know that it
(20:56):
is not reflective of my eatingright now.
I know that.
I know that.
And it's an extreme situation.
It's not everybody's struggle,but not all weight gain is from
overeating.
So when we judge others orourselves, it's wrong.
It's flat out.
That's where the sin is.
SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
Yeah, right.
Yeah, and I'm finding myself inthis really strange position for
the first time in my life whereI am being treated for breast
cancer, and I'm actuallyconcerned about losing too much
weight over time.
I've got seven months of chemo,which is so hard on the body,
(21:40):
and it's difficult to keep yourweight where it is during
something like that.
And I've never thought thoughtslike that before.
Never.
I've always thought the otherway.
And so, you know, I'm at ahealthy size right now, but I'm
concerned because I've still gotmonths and months to go.
(22:03):
And I want to be sure that mybody is as strong as it can be
to fight.
My body is fighting so hardright now.
And like I said, for the firsttime, I'm thinking, am I going
to lose too much weight becauseI see this all around me in the
infusion center where I get mytreatment and things like that.
(22:24):
And I'm like, Lord, you havebrought me full circle.
Like, I am at this whole otherplace now that I never even
imagined I would be.
And it's giving me a wholedifferent view of what other
people might be going through.
Really, either way, overweightor underweight, it's kind of the
same thing in many ways.
(22:45):
It's not always gonna be howyou're eating.
There are other factors, so manyother factors.
And we don't know what they are,you know, unless we ask or have
a conversation with somebodyafter we've loved them well.
SPEAKER_00 (23:01):
Yeah, they'll say if somebody gave me, why are you so
fat?
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
Oh, like no.
SPEAKER_00 (23:06):
No, no, no, no, no, I'm talking about glory of God
limited as it emerges from yourbody.
Oh, I can't believe that womansaid that.
SPEAKER_02 (23:15):
Oh, God.
SPEAKER_00 (23:17):
I was in this a similar position in that because
of the sickness that I had andwhat was going on with my body,
I lost a dangerous amount ofweight.
And so the doctors were tryingto give me things to add weight
to my body.
You can't tell somebody who wasso disordered with their eating
years before that they need togain weight, gain weight, gain
(23:39):
weight.
SPEAKER_02 (23:39):
Somebody told me once, and I I love this if you
find yourself for any reasonpointing your finger at someone
else, even if it's not like youknow, your actual finger, you're
doing it in your mind or in, youknow, that kind of thing, before
you think another thought, turnthat finger to yourself and
(24:00):
figure out what is going on.
Why am I in this position?
Uh, why am I judging this otherperson?
Something is going on withmyself, something is not right
with my soul.
That is not the mind of Christ.
No.
So 1 Corinthians 2.16 tells usthat we've been given the mind
(24:21):
of Christ.
We want to think with his mind.
Philippians 2.5 says, Let thismind be in you, which was also
in Christ Jesus.
And 2 Corinthians 10.5 tells us,take every thought captive to
make it obedient to Christ.
When I think with the mind ofChrist, these are some of the
(24:44):
questions that come up.
What does God say about me?
Am I following his lead or am Ifollowing the world's pattern?
Is my desire to lose weightcoming from insecurity or
stewardship?
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
Good questions.
SPEAKER_02 (25:05):
Yeah, those are good questions.
SPEAKER_00 (25:07):
Run through them again in case somebody needs to
hear them again.
SPEAKER_02 (25:10):
What does he say about me?
He being God.
Am I following his lead or am Ifollowing the world's pattern?
Is my desire to lose weightcoming from insecurity or from
stewardship?
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
And then we want to listen because if we ask him
that, yes, and the answer isinsecurity, that's not the time
for shame, which is often wherewe go.
Right.
But it is the time for truth.
Truth that says you arefearfully and wonderful made.
Psalm 139.14.
You are chosen, holy, and dearlyloved.
(25:50):
Colossians 3:12.
You are not your body, you arehis.
Romans 14.
SPEAKER_02 (25:56):
Does it really say that, Heidi?
Yeah.
I love that verse.
That's amazing, amazing.
And you know what?
If you want more of those, wehave a resource for you.
We have a whole list that wecall our Who Am I in Christ
list.
And it is one of my favoritego-tos when I get confused or
(26:17):
start believing lies about thissubject.
SPEAKER_00 (26:20):
You'll find that at teamlife is good.com forward
slash identity.
TeamLifisgood.com forward slashidentity.
And you will be able to downloadthat list of who I am in Christ.
SPEAKER_02 (26:33):
Thank you, Heidi.
Awesome.
Okay, so we have some reflectionquestions that we want to close
with.
And these are questions thatwe've asked ourselves.
I mean, we are in this boat withyou.
And we ask God too.
Because He's the one that knowsme better than I know myself.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
So these are questions that youmight want to take to God in a
(26:55):
quiet moment and just have aconversation, as if you're
talking with your best friend,because you are.
You are okay.
The first one, why do I want tolose weight?
SPEAKER_00 (27:09):
Yeah, and that one, you know, if you come up with an
answer too quick, maybe slowdown and ask the Lord to speak
very clearly to you about it.
Because He knows.
Another question you can ask himis where did I learn that I
needed to look a certain way tobe worthy?
(27:29):
Here's here's something kind ofrelated to that second question,
too, is in our From Shame toShalom class that we have, we
are looking at uh what the Lordsaid.
His his question to Adam and Eveafter they had um you know done
something they shouldn't have,they had eaten the fruit.
He's he asked them, who told youthat you were naked?
(27:52):
Who told you?
Yeah.
And in our case, maybe who toldyou you aren't lovable the way
that you are?
Right.
Who told you that you have tobe, I don't know, whatever
weight is stuck in your headthat you need to get to?
I mean, I am floored.
How many different people amongus have a number in their heads?
And it's a really good question.
(28:13):
Who told you that that's thenumber that's perfect for you?
Who told you that?
Where did we learn that we needto look a certain way to be
worthy?
SPEAKER_02 (28:22):
Yeah.
Another question Am I using thesame standard to judge others?
SPEAKER_00 (28:29):
Oh, you don't want to be a mean church lady.
No, no, no, because that's whatwe end up being when we, you
know, use those standards tojudge others.
Yeah.
I mean, we have not walked inanybody else's shoes for sure.
And Romans 14 also addressesthis.
It's like God tells us in thatchapter not to judge another
man's servant.
(28:49):
All right.
So here's another question tothink on and pray through.
What would it look like to thinkabout this, weight loss or not,
with the mind of Christ?
Yeah.
Really big question.
It is, it is.
And for years, I've felt soobsessed with all of this stuff,
(29:12):
weight loss and maintaining andmuscle building, and uh on and
on and on.
It went.
Am I getting more definition oram I getting more bulk?
And all these crazy questionsabout my body.
What would it look like to thinkabout this with the mind of
Christ?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:29):
We have whole classes about this in Revelation
within, and they are fantastic.
Yeah.
Okay.
And am I willing to let God leadeven in this?
Good question, right?
I mean, how many years did Isay, nope?
(29:49):
Lord, you stay over there.
I'll work on this, and thenwe'll come together when I've
figured it out.
Not even close.
You know, there's no freedomthere, there's no peace there.
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
Well, friend, it's okay to ask these questions.
It's more than okay, really.
It's okay to bring them to God.
Again, it's more than okay.
Bringing these questions to Godis a great idea.
He's not afraid of them.
He's not waiting for you to fixyour body.
Would you get it right, please?
No, he doesn't say that to you.
He is longing for your heart,for your heart to belong to him
(30:23):
completely, for your heart to behis, yeah, for your heart to be
free.
How much of our heart burden isbecause we put these things on
ourselves?
I have to be this size, I haveto be this shape, this fitness
level, I have to eat this way, Ihave to do this before that
reunion, I have to do thisbefore we go on that cruise, or
(30:45):
whatever it might be, or beforethe holiday season.
Which is where we are right now.
Yes, we are on the cusp of well,even now you walk through Costco
and you see holidays, have aride.
SPEAKER_02 (30:59):
God is longing for our hearts.
Yeah.
So this might have reallystirred something up in you.
If you want to walk this out incommunity with others who really
get it, we would love to inviteyou into our Revelation Within
community.
Oh my gosh, we have an amazing,amazing group of people there.
(31:21):
They are amazing.
Oh, I love them so much.
You will find grace, truth, lotsand lots of practical tools, and
a whole lot of freedom in ourcommunity.
SPEAKER_00 (31:35):
We will be back with another episode, but until then,
renew your mind because that'swhat God wants us to do in order
to experience transformation.
Surrender your body and yourheart.
Be at peace in the one who madeyou.
SPEAKER_02 (31:52):
We are so glad that you have been here with us
today, and we hope that you willjoin us for our next episode of
Revelation Within.
SPEAKER_01 (32:09):
We both have arms in the air.
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