June 4, 2025 • 42 mins
Have you ever felt like you're sitting on an emotional trash can, afraid that lifting the lid will make everything spill out? We’ve both been there. In this episode, we talk about how we've tried to hold it all together—telling ourselves to “move on” or “just get over it”—because that’s what we heard from others and from our own inner critic. But we’ve found that real healing doesn’t come from avoidance. It comes when we let God into the mess, one honest moment at a time.
We share personal stories—like digging through old journals and clothes tied to body image struggles—and how counterfeit comforts only gave temporary relief. The real shift started when we stopped numbing the pain and started facing it with God. Psalm 23 reminds us He walks with us through the darkest valleys, not around them. This isn’t about having it all figured out—it’s about trusting the One who holds us even in our weakness. We hope you’ll join us in exploring what it means to find lasting comfort, not in escape, but in Christ.
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi and welcome to our podcast, revelation Within On
the Go.
I am Heidi Biles-Muyeperson,one of your hosts and the owner
and lead coach of theRevelationWithinorg ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within, and we are sohappy to invite you to join us
for this episode of.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Revelation Within Welcome back, friend oh last
time we talked about why we turnto counterfeit comforts, and
it's not a new subject for us atall.
We've done other podcasts aboutit.
Today we're going to explorereally how we can move from
counterfeit comforts towardChrist-centered confidence.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
It's not a quick fix, but it isa real path to healing.
I love that.
So at Revelation Within, webelieve in taking the lid off
our trash cans.
Yes, I'm just saying, if youwant to keep that trash can lid
on, it's going to get smelly andyou will not be able to hide it
(01:21):
from anybody not be able tohide it from anybody.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I'm thinking, of course, of the old metal trash
can.
Is that what you're thinking?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
of and not the classic ones.
Green goo At Revelation Within.
We don't want to slap aBand-Aid or 12 on heartache.
Nope, nope, nope.
We want to invite God to do hiswork as he takes the lid off of
our trash can.
And the trash can, of course,is the metaphor for all the hard
(01:53):
things, all the yucky things,all of maybe even the sin in our
lives over the course of ourlives.
So we want to be sure we invitehim in and hand it over to him
to take the lid off and do whathe will.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh, invite him into the trash, can?
Oh, this is going to be tough.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
He's omnipresent, so he might be in there.
I don't know how that works,yeah that's true.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
He's omnipresent, he knows everything that's in there
already, right right.
He knows what's at the bottom,where you can't see and it's
like the smelliest.
Yeah, I think that so much ofkind of our culture, our world,
even our families, even ourchurch culture at times will
(02:38):
tell us put the lid on.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
And don't ever take it off.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
We don't want to see it.
We don't want to see it.
We don't want to hear about it.
Pull yourself up and just keepgoing.
Move on, get over it.
Get over it Like let's get going.
What's that old saying aboutthe bootstraps?
Last night my husband and Iwatched Little House on the
Prairie and let me tell you,those men had bootstraps and I
(03:07):
noticed them because of the waywe've used that.
You know that saying holdyourself up by your own
bootstraps, nobody else is goingto do it.
There's these little littlestraps that help you to pull
your boots up, and all the guysin the in the show had them.
I thought that was sointeresting and of course, it's
(03:28):
filmed in your neck of the woodsand I know that now, which is
really really fun.
It's fun to watch, anyway.
But I think that there is kindof this pressure, not everywhere
, certainly, but in families, inchurches, in schools even, and
it's like we don't want to seeit.
(03:48):
Put it away, sweep it under therug.
You know, let's just move onwithout dealing with it and
things will just get better overtime.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, it's so tricky.
I've been involved in Biblestudies with other women who I
know and admire and trust, andsome home groups with the men
too, where the idea of exploringanything that is difficult is
kind of cast aside as not havingvalue In fact it's cast aside
(04:22):
as being self-indulgent almostvalue.
In fact it's cast aside asbeing self-indulgent almost.
And yet when I look in thePsalms as one good example, I
see a lot of trash cans thathave the lids off.
I mean, psalm 88 is a goodexample.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Darkness is my greatest friend, my only friend.
I think it said yeah, myclosest yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Can you imagine.
So I think that it's importantto recognize that that may not
be God's thought about thosedifficult trials, the traumas
and so on.
Maybe he has a differentperspective.
And I like to think about itkind of like in Psalm 23, verse
four, it says even though I walkthrough the valley of the
(05:06):
shadow of death, I will fear noevil because you are with me.
I think of walking through thevalley of the shadow of death,
as sometimes it has been meinviting God along or he's there
anyway to walk through some ofthose difficult memories, the
traumas, the challenges, the sincommitted against me.
(05:27):
I mean, I'm talking aboutreally tough stuff and rather
than you know, here's the thingOur God is omnipotent, he is all
powerful, he is sovereign, heis good, he is loving, he's
compassionate, he's all thesethings.
And if he has allowed somethingin my life, I want to think the
way he does about it.
(05:48):
I want to reframe it by sittingat his feet and saying, okay, I
don't know what you werethinking when you allowed this
and he can take it.
So maybe it proves that he cantake it.
But I want to know how you wantme to think about it now.
What am I to learn from it?
And so it's like kind of like inPsalm 23, verse four, we're
(06:12):
going to walk through thatvalley together, within that
valley of the shadow of death.
We're not going around it, we'renot going to ignore it, we're
not going to pretend it neverhappened, right, I mean and this
can happen in a number of ways,really, when I've been with
Christian women, and sometimeswe will say things to one
(06:32):
another like, oh, but praise God, this happened afterwards, or,
and it's like it minimizes thatpain, that heartache, and we
don't want to do that.
You know whether it was aone-time thing, or I think we
tend to do that too with peoplewho are struggling with chronic
issues, and we really we don'twant to do that.
(06:53):
We want to acknowledge thatchallenge that God, for some
reason, not protected us from it, but allowed it, and what are
his purposes in it?
It doesn't mean he condones sin, of course.
It doesn't mean he condoneswhatever caused us the trauma,
but it does mean he has agreater purpose in it than we
(07:14):
might be able to fathom on ourown, so inviting him to walk
with me and show me.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I, you know, I think it just really has to do with
fear.
Um, when we are minimizing andpushing things away and
pretending they're not there and, you know, ignoring those kinds
of things, and I mean I've beenthere many times it's like if I
open this up, it's going to betoo scary.
(07:40):
I'm not going to be able to kindof get out of that dark place
or whatever.
So I think there's a lot offear there and that makes sense.
But God says again and againand again do not fear.
And then he says the reason whywe shouldn't fear and that is
because I am with you.
(08:02):
You know how they I mean 365times or more in the Bible it
says do not fear.
And God tells us again andagain I'm with you, that's why
you don't have to fear becauseI'm with you.
Let's open this box together.
Let's look at this memorytogether.
Let's process your feelingstogether.
(08:24):
You don't have to be afraid.
That helps me when I am tooafraid to go there.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I think about God saying gently, lovingly,
compassionately to me it's okay,I'm right here.
You don't have to be afraid.
That's beautiful don't?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
you don't have to be afraid, that's beautiful, you
know the whole.
Keep the lid on the trash, can?
Analogy reminds me of anotheranalogy that, uh, our marriage
coach once told us, uh, and thatwas, you know, when you try to
keep a beach ball under thesurface of the water yes, it
takes a lot of energy a lot ofenergy to just keep it under,
keep it it under, keep it under,don't let go, don't let go,
don't let go.
Oh no, there it goes.
(09:08):
And now everybody knows Right.
We really want to be able torecognize what's there and go
with God in the direction Godsays to go with it.
Christina, have you ever beentold, maybe directly or
indirectly, to kind of just moveon, get over it?
And how did that affect you, ifyou were?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah.
So I knew you were going to askme this question, Heidi, and
when I first saw it, what was myresponse?
I don't know that I want toanswer this question.
That's a tough one for mebecause I feel like it happens
often, with with me having achronic illness and just in the
(09:51):
last few days, Um and I knowthat people mean well and I know
that they're not directlytrying to minimize what I'm
going through, but they do.
Some people just do, and I thinkit's out of fear maybe, and
it's almost like they don't wantto hear about it and I don't
(10:12):
talk about it very much.
I have my few safe people, ofcourse.
You're one of them, heidi, andHeidi knows all.
So she carries the burden withme, which is a hard thing to do
and I'm forever grateful.
But what happens is, you know,if we just choose a few people
who we can really trust withthat and that they won't say,
(10:35):
can you just kind of, you know,change your life so you can get
better?
Can you just rest more?
Are you drinking enough water?
I mean, what about this?
What about you know?
And there's a tone that says,can't you just move on?
There really is, and ourfeelings get hurt.
This happened just a few daysago.
(10:56):
A friend of mine, who I don'tsee that often, asked me how are
you feeling, how are you doingthese days?
And I thought, well, what do Ido?
Do I minimize it?
Does she really want to know?
Do I tell her that I'm reallyin the middle of a difficult
flare up or not?
So I decided to tell her andshe listened and then she said
(11:22):
wow, and changed the subject.
Yeah, and totally changed thesubject to something that she
was dealing with that wascompletely different.
So I'm just going to say thisto all of you who are listening
If you know someone who is inchronic pain or having a chronic
illness and they tell youwhat's happening, please say to
(11:43):
them.
That must be really hard todeal with.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I am sorry that you're going through that.
That must be really hard.
You don't have to know theanswers.
Just don't minimize whatthey're going through.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And really we minimize what they're going
through when we say, oh well,god's got you.
That may be true, but it'sminimizing what they just shared
.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, it is, and I think that we do that out of
fear, and I'm sure I've done it.
I'm sure I've done it in thepast, before I had a chronic
illness.
Wow, I mean, I think back.
How did I respond to people?
I'm sure I messed it all up.
So, you know, hear that from me.
But if you know someone who isin chronic pain or has a chronic
(12:33):
illness, please just validatethem.
You can say almost the samewords back to them Wow, you know
, that must be scary for you orhard for you or that kind of
thing.
You don't have to fix it, justbe there in, there, be in it
with them, because it's so hardwhen you are almost ignored, to
(12:56):
the point where someone issaying this is too scary for me
to listen to.
So will you please just sweepit under the rug.
That's what it feels like it'sreally tough, you know, and
that's this is from people wholove us.
Like it's really tough, youknow, and this is from people
who love us.
So, yeah, we don't want to dothat.
We are okay in the discomfort,we are okay to say this is
(13:19):
what's happening and invitingGod in and then inviting people
in, if they can be okay with ittoo.
That is so, so healing and soimportant, so important.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, I think it's a big, like you said, it's so
healing.
It's a big step on the path toexperiencing healing.
It really is we we have to be Idon't know trust God, that the
people that we share with hewill help us to process that too
.
You know, I have to tell you itkind of cracks me up a little
(13:56):
bit, but you know, we moved tothis new house recently and
Michael and I have been marriedalmost six years and but we're a
lot older than that.
So we have, you know, over ahundred years of baggage that we
do, the two of us and now I'mkidding, of course that's
emotional baggage, but then wealso have a lot of stuff.
(14:21):
So we had put because we haven'thad our own like home, to call
our own really.
Uh, since we got married, we'vemoved in and lived in camps and
whatnot all things that weretemporary and so it was time to
move to our own home, which wepurchased.
God has blessed us, and itmeant emptying out this storage
(14:43):
unit that we have been paying$130 a month for for five years
Wait a minute, what?
That's crazy Just to keep abunch of stuff that we don't use
.
Anyway, that's another storyentirely, but anyway, and so we
moved it all to our new home,into the carport the two car
(15:05):
carport.
It filled the carport carport.
It filled the carport.
No, I knew I was having troublegoing through the boxes, one at
a time.
I knew I was having troublewith that and I just assumed it
was because of my previousmarriage or because you know
something concrete and okay,that's yes, that's part of it.
But then I got to a box thathad I mean, yes, there was the
(15:30):
box with my previous husband'slove letters in it to me that
was hard Okay.
So I closed that box.
But then I got to the clothes,all the clothes I'd saved over
the years, all of the clothesthat represent all of the sizes
I've been, which, all at theheart of it, it's telling me you
(15:50):
have had this stronghold fordecades and are you really free?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yes, that's so real, heidi.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yes, and it's like not only that, but then there's
the box filled with my oldBibles.
That bible was given me to me bymy boyfriend in high school and
I'll it's like in that biblewas given to me by so-and-so my
cousin, who led me to the lordand then she died of brain
cancer and she had renounced herfaith.
(16:23):
Oh my gosh, okay, what do I do?
My husband wants me desperatelyto go through these boxes and
make it so hard, and so I yeah,I said to him I tried to get
through another box today and hegoes oh great, no, it didn't go
very well, and here's why.
(16:44):
And I told him some of thesereasons and he's like, yeah, I
have that problem too too, and Ifelt so minimized and it didn't
help a lot, and what I wantedwas him to acknowledge that I'd
been trying and to recognizethere's pain here, right, and so
(17:04):
I was able to, about a halfhour later, tell him that and
and we did have a goodconversation about it but really
, when you think about it, thereare so many things that still
affect me today and most of us,I think, can relate to that,
whether they're in boxes out inour carport or not.
(17:26):
Yeah, and God's healing.
Here's the thing.
God's healing may almostassuredly involve sifting
through some of that old pain,with him, but with his presence.
So, as I look at all of thoseold clothes, where am I now with
this Lord?
How am I growing in you?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
How am?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I turning to you to manage this stronghold that has
happened for so many years.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What can I?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
thank you for.
What can I anticipate in thedays ahead?
Oh, those are good questions,Aren't they?
Yeah?
They're from God.
I know they are from God.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
So Lamentations 3, verse 40, says Let us examine
our ways and test them and letus return to the Lord, which is
exactly what you were justtalking about, heidi.
Let's go ahead and open the box, let's examine, let's talk
about it, let's think about it,invite God in, test them, and
(18:24):
then returning to God with itagain and again and again.
I love that.
So you asked me earlier isthere a box from your past that
you've had to open up andprocess with God?
And I was thinking about how toanswer this and it came to me
while you were just talking.
So it wasn't when we firstmoved into this house.
(18:49):
It was when my mother-in-lawwas going to move in with us, so
we had to move out.
We moved across the street sothat the addition could be added
onto the top for her, and so wemoved across the street and
then, six months later, we movedback.
So that's the kind of thingthat really makes you look at
(19:11):
your stuff.
Because you're moving it somuch, it's like we have too much
stuff, like let's figure thisout, okay.
So that's when it was.
That was before I met you, heidi, that was two years before I
met you, so, and I had beenstruggling, you know, my whole
adult life with food and eatingissues, body image, all of it.
(19:31):
So I found a box and it justcame to me.
I just thought about this and Ihad to make a decision Am I
going to move it across thestreet and bring it back, or is
it time to sift through it andget rid of it?
And part of me wanted to justclose it up and move it and move
it back, but I did feel astrong nudge from the Lord let's
(19:57):
open it up.
I knew what was in it, but Ireally didn't want to look.
It was an entire box ofjournals.
Wow, you know, I had journaledfor years and years and years,
journaled my thoughts andfeelings and prayers and
scripture, and I didn't reallywant to look.
And this is why because at thetime I felt like I had not moved
(20:21):
forward at all in thestronghold.
I didn't even really realize itwas a stronghold.
At the time I was incrediblyself-condemning.
And so I pulled out thesejournals and started reading
them and pretty much they wereall the same.
I mean, there were there werewonderful things about my family
(20:43):
and my husband and things thathave happened and events, but
there was a theme to everyjournal and that was I'm a mess,
I'm a failure, I can't moveforward, there's no hope for me.
God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'msorry.
I blew it again.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
(21:03):
So I'm sitting here pouring overthese journals and it was just
kind of awful really to, to behonest and my husband comes over
and he says we need to, youknow, like, keep going, we've
got so much to do.
And he saw what I was doing andhe said would you like me to
burn those?
How did you know, I know?
(21:28):
And I said really?
And he said, yeah, I mean, isthere any reason for you to keep
those?
And he didn't really even knowwhat they were.
But I feel like God really usedhim to give me the courage.
And my husband loves to burnthings.
You know he loves fires.
He loves fires, he loves toburn and do fires outside,
(21:50):
inside, in our wood burningstove, and so I said yes, and he
put one in the fire, one at atime, and it was gone and it
wasn't.
It didn't feel so freeing thenbecause I didn't know what to do
with those feelings.
I didn't know.
It was like shame, shame, shame.
(22:11):
I and learning how to renew mymind.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
And.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I learned the truth about shame it's not from God.
It's not from God, I learned thetruth about being transformed
and forgiven and grace and allthose things, even though I had
(22:34):
been a Christian since I was alittle girl.
I had a lot of confusion there,a lot of lies going on, and so
later I mean I'm thankful thatthat box was gone at the time,
but later, and even now, I canlook back and say, wow, that was
something that God led me to.
He wanted to bring healing.
(22:55):
I wasn't quite ready, you know,for kind of the bigger healing,
the bigger understanding, butthen when it came, I thought
back to that box and I was sograteful that my husband had
burned all those journals thatwere full of guilt and shame.
That's not who I am, nope, andit's not who God calls me, and
(23:18):
it's not who he is either.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
This analogy that we've been using a box is from
our past is literal for us andit may be for you too, right,
but all of us have boxes quoteunquote boxes from our past that
we need to open up with theLord and process with him and
walk through the valley of theshadow of death with him.
And whether we do thatjournaling, or whether we do
that just prayerfully, whetherwe do that with a wonderful
(23:48):
Christian, hopefully therapistor a friend, or by ourselves
with him, it's just really animportant step in our healing to
dare to go there with him.
And, at the very least, if youlisten or decide to try this,
please call a friend and ask forprayer.
Yes, yeah, just let them knowthat you're trying to process
(24:11):
some things with the Lord thatare important to you and and
that you know he's calling youto it.
But you know it's going to behard and you'll want to run.
And if you want to run or shutdown, that's when the
counterfeit comforts are goingto seem most appealing.
He is the God of all comfortand he wants to comfort you.
So get some prayer support forthat, definitely.
(24:32):
You know, in our Christiancircles we really do have a lot
of people in the camp of forgetthe past.
And yes, there are scripturesthat speak of forgetting the
past.
I think we tend, when we usethose scriptures, we can misuse
them a lot of the time, becauseif you look at how the past is
(24:52):
treated, it's often becausewe've been wallowing in the past
that we need to forget it.
Yeah, right.
And so we want to find abiblical balance between
forgetting the past andremembering the lessons that can
come to us from looking withthe Lord at the past.
So, like perhaps, as you'velistened to us talking about
(25:15):
walk with the Lord through thevalley of the shadow of death,
you're like no, we're called toforget the past.
God has given us theseexperiences and he intends that
they become treasure.
I really believe that and it'simportant.
So let's, let's just be surethat we go there with the Lord
and recognize we want to balancethat thought, forget the past
(25:38):
or remember the lessons from thepast, and he will show us what
we need to do with that.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Right.
The Bible encourages us tolearn from the past while not
being defined by it.
We're not going to live there,we're not going to be defined by
it, we're not going to sit inthere, you know, sit there and
be consumed by it, but we'regoing to learn from it and then
truly move on in healing.
Not moving on towardcounterfeits, we're going to
(26:04):
move on toward healing andfreedom.
Philippians 3, 13 and 14.
Brothers and sisters, I do notconsider myself yet to have
taken hold of it, but one thingI do forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what isahead, I press on toward the
goal to win the prize for whichGod has called me heavenward in
(26:28):
Christ Jesus.
So forgetting what is behindbut pressing forward because of
what we have learned.
Amen, there's both.
We need both.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
And that's the way it is with many things it's an and
not an, either or or a but yeah, deuteronomy 8.2 says remember
how the Lord, your God, led youall the way in the wilderness.
I mean, there were a lot ofdifficulties in the wilderness,
but God had a very specificreason for challenging Israel to
remember.
(27:02):
And how do you suppose we canhonor the past that God has
allowed in our lives, bylearning from it, without
getting stuck there?
What comes to mind for you?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Yeah, what comes immediately to mind is my mom,
and I was just talking about herearlier in our podcast and it
was just Mother's Day, so shehas been on my mind so much this
week.
And again, you know, Imentioned we're going to go on
this trip.
We're actually going to go tothe place where she was born and
raised and went through thosedifficult, traumatic times, and
(27:39):
so I know I want to honor thepast that she went through and I
want to honor her and herefforts to love me and raise me
as well as she could, with allthe mistakes and stumbles.
I want to honor what she wentthrough.
I want to honor her.
A long time ago I had to gothrough some forgiveness work
(28:03):
with her.
I'm not with her.
It was while she was stillalive.
It was about her.
She had Alzheimer's disease, sothere wasn't an opportunity to
do it with her, which wastotally okay.
But I feel like I'm at a placenow where I can see so much more
of what was good in ourrelationship and how God was
(28:24):
there in the midst of it all andhow he protected me and
provided other supports in mylife to hold me up when she
couldn't, like my grandmotherlike best friends, things like
that.
Yeah, I love this idea ofhonoring the past by learning
from it, examining it, spendingtime in it, looking at the
(28:46):
pictures, the notes, whatever itis, but not getting stuck there
and it's a jumping off pointtoward healing and freedom
rather than, yeah, getting stuck.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, and it's good stuff.
It's challenging me with thistask ever before me this weekend
.
I want to heading back to thecarport and the boxes that are
out there.
I really do want to.
I really do want to processsome of it.
Try throwing some of it away.
(29:19):
Wouldn't that be novel?
I mean, michael bless his heart.
He saw that I had two flatboxes, you know the big kind
that fit under the bed.
He saw that there were twoboxes under our bed now and he's
like what, what is that therefor?
And I said it's just oldclothes.
(29:40):
And I said I know I'll never bethat size again.
It was too harsh what it tookto be that size, what I had to
do to my body to be that size.
That was part of my dysfunctionas well.
And he said why didn't you justget rid of it?
I mean, good question, right?
Yeah, whatever that is, it'sthere for me to go with God too.
(30:03):
I need to walk with him throughthat.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
And so I think I'm going to, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
It's hard.
Those things take a lot ofcourage.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, they do.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
And sometimes time is needed as well.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's true, yeah, so Christ-centered confidence is
what we're after, instead ofturning to counterfeit comforts,
and a really good thing to knowis that confidence living in
Christ-centered confidence isn'tabout me feeling strong.
Yeah, it's about knowing thatI'm held by the one who is, that
(30:37):
I'm held by the one who is.
I know that I need to go to Godwith this discomfort of oh,
it's just a huge discomfort.
It's making me squeamish eventhinking about it the whole
stronghold being so long lastingand all the different phases of
it, and on and on and on itgoes.
But I can bring it to him and Ican have prayer support, of
(31:00):
course, as I do, and not turn toself soothing or counterfeit
comforts.
I can do what we call titrating.
I can do a little bit of thehard work and then intermingle
that with a little bit ofsomething fun that I can enjoy,
like go and play with my dogoutside or go for a walk or
something like that, and thencome back to it.
(31:21):
I don't have to do it all inone sitting, and so I know that
in this way my capacity willgrow for processing the
uncomfortable stuff with theLord who loves me so much.
One of the things I think I'malso going to do to be able to
bring things to him as I gothrough this stuff in the
carport is I'm going to remindmyself of who God is.
(31:43):
Who God is, it's reallyimportant in all of this, and so
my God list.
I'll probably do a lot ofpraise, festing some of the
tools you've heard us talk about, and then I'm going to remind
myself who I am in Christ,because that's who I am.
I'm not defined by who I was.
I'm not defined by my choicesover the years.
(32:04):
I'm not defined by any of that.
I'm defined by the one who hasmade me and continues to do the
work that he planned to do untilit comes to completion, like
Philippians 1.6 speaks of.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I love that.
I love that.
I love what you said, heidi,about I don't have to do it all
at once.
I think that's huge for so manyof us.
I didn't realize that for along time I thought I'm going to
have to deal with this wholething this weekend or today or
whatever it is, and that is notat all true.
(32:38):
You could do one minute.
You could do one minute, that'sit.
Just go there for a minute andprocess.
Or, for me, invite God in andsay, lord, let's just do one
minute of that really hard thingand then put it aside for a
while.
God doesn't mind, he's notcalling us to do this huge, you
(33:00):
know difficult processing time.
I mean, sometimes that happens.
I think sometimes it does, butfor the most part it's really
okay to do little bits, becauseit's hard and it hurts.
It's okay to do little bits.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
So we have a couple of practical ideas for you, and
these are just a few of many,many, many different things that
you might do just to enter intothat minute or five minutes or
10 minutes, with the Lordprocessing something that's hard
.
One is just sitting with theLord, just sitting with him.
Actually, you don't even haveto say a word.
(33:41):
And if that's hard for youbecause your mind starts
spinning which happens to memaybe just grab one verse and
read it over and over or onetruth you know God is here, or
just Jesus, his name, just Jesus, yeah.
Invite him in in such a simpleway.
You don't have to figure it allout.
(34:03):
What am I going to say?
How am I going to do?
No, just sit with him, justinvite him in and begin that way
.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Great idea.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Another one is breath prayers during moments of
discomfort.
And we do this, heidi, and I,and we know a lot of people that
are using breath prayers.
Now, it's not complicated, it'sso simple.
It's just breathing in and outand saying truth as you do.
That's all it is.
It calms your body physicallyand it fills your mind with
(34:35):
truth.
So an example that would be sosimple would be breathing in and
saying, jesus, I trust you.
Breathing out and saying I knowyou're here.
Or you could use a scriptureverse or part of a scripture
verse or any truth that lines upwith scripture.
(34:55):
Maybe you want your breathprayer to be about inviting God
in.
Breathe in and say, god, Iinvite you in.
Breathe out and say to thistime with me, you know.
That's all it could be, itcould be so simple.
And those breath prayers inmoments of discomfort, it gives
(35:16):
you a little moment to just kindof pause before you run to the
counterfeit.
Pause and invite God in, and,of course, it cal've kind of
mentioned already, heidi, justbeing in community.
You don't have to do all of thisby yourself.
(35:37):
You know talking with peoplethat you know and trust about
what's going on, about whathappened.
Maybe it's confession.
Maybe it's something that notsomething you've done, but
something that's been done toyou, or pain from you know a
different circumstance.
Maybe it's something physical,you know, reach out to someone
(35:59):
who is a safe person and talkabout it, and you could even say
to that person do you have fiveminutes, cause that's all we're
going to do today?
We're just, if you, you know ifyou'll enter into this with me,
let's sit down for five minutesand then that's it for today.
That's, that's okay, and formany of us we think I have the
(36:21):
capacity for five minutes.
I can do that.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yeah, that's doable.
Second Corinthians, 12, verse 9, says this is Jesus speaking.
Of course, my grace issufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness.
You got to love it because heknew that we would wonder how on
(36:45):
earth can I do this?
But he says okay, you are weakand that's okay, because in your
weakness my grace is sufficient.
My power is made perfect in you.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Yeah, so thinking about that, what does
Christ-centered confidence looklike in the middle of discomfort
, not just after healing?
But you've done five minutes,it's still there.
There's still going to be a lotof work that needs to be done.
What does that look like?
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, I think for me it has to look like.
Even if there's no heavenlychorus of angels singing and
feathers falling from heaven,it's like I recognize and
confess the truth.
God has been here with me andhe has entered into this time
with me and I will be back.
(37:39):
I will do it again, and so,even if I don't feel like it's
finished, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
That's okay, right, right.
Yeah, that's so valuable, heidi.
I mean, does anybody ever tellus that?
Speaker 1 (37:54):
No, I don't think so, I don't think anyone's ever
told me that it's.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
You're okay, Even though you processed only five
minutes with the Lord or withthat difficult thing.
You're okay because you're inGod's grip and we'll get back to
it.
You're really okay, this isgoing to be all right and that's
Christ centered confidence, notme centered confidence.
There's a big difference there.
That feels really really good.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I think it's true that oftentimes, even in bless
their hearts recovery circles,which I don't consider
revelation within a recoveryministry but it is in many ways
consider revelation within arecovery ministry, but it is in
many ways, I suppose.
But it's almost like you areeither not yet healed or you're
all good.
And I don't think that's fromthe Lord, because if we set up a
(38:42):
dichotomy like that, we'regoing to, I think, always feel
like we're not quite doing itright.
And we have to just press intohim.
Press into him and recognizethis moment is one where he is
with us in our imperfection, inour weakness, and he is there to
love on us and to validate usand affirm us.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yes, so healing is a journey.
Processing with God is the onlypath to true peace.
What you're longing for, thatpeace, I mean what I'm longing
for in that moment, what you'relonging for, Heidi there is only
(39:24):
one place where we can findthat and that's.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
Jesus, the answer is always him.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
The rest it's all counterfeits.
When we go to him first, that'swhere we can find that peace
and everything else will beadded after yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I think there's a Bible verse about that.
Seek first his kingdom and hisrighteousness, and all these
things will be added to you aswell.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Well, and there's that other verse about life and
peace that you quoted when youwere going into surgery.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
That's in Romans and it, and Romans 8, 5 or something
like that.
Yeah, the mind controlled bythe spirit is life and peace.
There you go, love that verse,love it, love it, love it.
So consider, listener, as we'rewrapping up now, where do you
feel like you are tempted tonumb right now, like maybe not
(40:11):
this minute, but this evening ortomorrow sometime, or?
Speaker 2 (40:16):
or after that event or that difficult phone call.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yes, yeah, I mean it's interesting how many people
we have talked to over theyears who have said that, oh, I
did great on Thanksgiving day.
It was the day afterThanksgiving that I had all
kinds of problems and went offthe rails.
And I think that happens.
So, knowing ahead of time thatthere might be those situations
that will tempt you to numb out,look at that with the Lord.
(40:41):
Invite him to show you wheremight I be tempted to numb, if
not right now, then in thefuture, and then ask him to show
you what would it look like toinvite the Lord to take the lid
off or open the box or whateveryou want to call it, to look at
those feelings of discomfort,their origins, whatever it is
(41:04):
for you, what it would look liketo look at that with you.
Like, for me, you know, why do Ihave those boxes of clothes
that I'll never wear, ever again, and it's not just down a size,
I mean, it's down 10 sizes,basically, you know, or whatever
it might be.
And and the love letters frommy previous husband, what is
going on inside of me that makesme hang on to that?
(41:24):
And is that from the Lord?
And really invite him to showme.
What is his way of thinkingabout these things?
How can I honor him and renewmy mind about yeah, I want to
think his thoughts about all theboxes and even if they aren't
literal boxes in your life, thenyou know, like the things, that
(41:45):
you know what they are, whatthe thoughts are that you
struggle with or that motivateyou to numb out.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Well, we are so glad that you've been here today and
we would love to invite you toour next podcast here at
Revelation Within.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
All righty, see you next time.
Bye-bye.
Hi and welcome to our podcast, revelation Within On
the Go.
I am Heidi Biles-Muyeperson,one of your hosts and the owner
and lead coach of theRevelationWithinorg ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within, and we are sohappy to invite you to join us
for this episode of.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Revelation Within Welcome back, friend oh last
time we talked about why we turnto counterfeit comforts, and
it's not a new subject for us atall.
We've done other podcasts aboutit.
Today we're going to explorereally how we can move from
counterfeit comforts towardChrist-centered confidence.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
It's not a quick fix, but it isa real path to healing.
I love that.
So at Revelation Within, webelieve in taking the lid off
our trash cans.
Yes, I'm just saying, if youwant to keep that trash can lid
on, it's going to get smelly andyou will not be able to hide it
(01:21):
from anybody not be able tohide it from anybody.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I'm thinking, of course, of the old metal trash
can.
Is that what you're thinking?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
of and not the classic ones.
Green goo At Revelation Within.
We don't want to slap aBand-Aid or 12 on heartache.
Nope, nope, nope.
We want to invite God to do hiswork as he takes the lid off of
our trash can.
And the trash can, of course,is the metaphor for all the hard
(01:53):
things, all the yucky things,all of maybe even the sin in our
lives over the course of ourlives.
So we want to be sure we invitehim in and hand it over to him
to take the lid off and do whathe will.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh, invite him into the trash, can?
Oh, this is going to be tough.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
He's omnipresent, so he might be in there.
I don't know how that works,yeah that's true.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
He's omnipresent, he knows everything that's in there
already, right right.
He knows what's at the bottom,where you can't see and it's
like the smelliest.
Yeah, I think that so much ofkind of our culture, our world,
even our families, even ourchurch culture at times will
(02:38):
tell us put the lid on.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
And don't ever take it off.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
We don't want to see it.
We don't want to see it.
We don't want to hear about it.
Pull yourself up and just keepgoing.
Move on, get over it.
Get over it Like let's get going.
What's that old saying aboutthe bootstraps?
Last night my husband and Iwatched Little House on the
Prairie and let me tell you,those men had bootstraps and I
(03:07):
noticed them because of the waywe've used that.
You know that saying holdyourself up by your own
bootstraps, nobody else is goingto do it.
There's these little littlestraps that help you to pull
your boots up, and all the guysin the in the show had them.
I thought that was sointeresting and of course, it's
(03:28):
filmed in your neck of the woodsand I know that now, which is
really really fun.
It's fun to watch, anyway.
But I think that there is kindof this pressure, not everywhere
, certainly, but in families, inchurches, in schools even, and
it's like we don't want to seeit.
(03:48):
Put it away, sweep it under therug.
You know, let's just move onwithout dealing with it and
things will just get better overtime.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, it's so tricky.
I've been involved in Biblestudies with other women who I
know and admire and trust, andsome home groups with the men
too, where the idea of exploringanything that is difficult is
kind of cast aside as not havingvalue In fact it's cast aside
(04:22):
as being self-indulgent almostvalue.
In fact it's cast aside asbeing self-indulgent almost.
And yet when I look in thePsalms as one good example, I
see a lot of trash cans thathave the lids off.
I mean, psalm 88 is a goodexample.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Darkness is my greatest friend, my only friend.
I think it said yeah, myclosest yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Can you imagine.
So I think that it's importantto recognize that that may not
be God's thought about thosedifficult trials, the traumas
and so on.
Maybe he has a differentperspective.
And I like to think about itkind of like in Psalm 23, verse
four, it says even though I walkthrough the valley of the
(05:06):
shadow of death, I will fear noevil because you are with me.
I think of walking through thevalley of the shadow of death,
as sometimes it has been meinviting God along or he's there
anyway to walk through some ofthose difficult memories, the
traumas, the challenges, the sincommitted against me.
(05:27):
I mean, I'm talking aboutreally tough stuff and rather
than you know, here's the thingOur God is omnipotent, he is all
powerful, he is sovereign, heis good, he is loving, he's
compassionate, he's all thesethings.
And if he has allowed somethingin my life, I want to think the
way he does about it.
(05:48):
I want to reframe it by sittingat his feet and saying, okay, I
don't know what you werethinking when you allowed this
and he can take it.
So maybe it proves that he cantake it.
But I want to know how you wantme to think about it now.
What am I to learn from it?
And so it's like kind of like inPsalm 23, verse four, we're
(06:12):
going to walk through thatvalley together, within that
valley of the shadow of death.
We're not going around it, we'renot going to ignore it, we're
not going to pretend it neverhappened, right, I mean and this
can happen in a number of ways,really, when I've been with
Christian women, and sometimeswe will say things to one
(06:32):
another like, oh, but praise God, this happened afterwards, or,
and it's like it minimizes thatpain, that heartache, and we
don't want to do that.
You know whether it was aone-time thing, or I think we
tend to do that too with peoplewho are struggling with chronic
issues, and we really we don'twant to do that.
(06:53):
We want to acknowledge thatchallenge that God, for some
reason, not protected us from it, but allowed it, and what are
his purposes in it?
It doesn't mean he condones sin, of course.
It doesn't mean he condoneswhatever caused us the trauma,
but it does mean he has agreater purpose in it than we
(07:14):
might be able to fathom on ourown, so inviting him to walk
with me and show me.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I, you know, I think it just really has to do with
fear.
Um, when we are minimizing andpushing things away and
pretending they're not there and, you know, ignoring those kinds
of things, and I mean I've beenthere many times it's like if I
open this up, it's going to betoo scary.
(07:40):
I'm not going to be able to kindof get out of that dark place
or whatever.
So I think there's a lot offear there and that makes sense.
But God says again and againand again do not fear.
And then he says the reason whywe shouldn't fear and that is
because I am with you.
(08:02):
You know how they I mean 365times or more in the Bible it
says do not fear.
And God tells us again andagain I'm with you, that's why
you don't have to fear becauseI'm with you.
Let's open this box together.
Let's look at this memorytogether.
Let's process your feelingstogether.
(08:24):
You don't have to be afraid.
That helps me when I am tooafraid to go there.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I think about God saying gently, lovingly,
compassionately to me it's okay,I'm right here.
You don't have to be afraid.
That's beautiful don't?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
you don't have to be afraid, that's beautiful, you
know the whole.
Keep the lid on the trash, can?
Analogy reminds me of anotheranalogy that, uh, our marriage
coach once told us, uh, and thatwas, you know, when you try to
keep a beach ball under thesurface of the water yes, it
takes a lot of energy a lot ofenergy to just keep it under,
keep it it under, keep it under,don't let go, don't let go,
don't let go.
Oh no, there it goes.
(09:08):
And now everybody knows Right.
We really want to be able torecognize what's there and go
with God in the direction Godsays to go with it.
Christina, have you ever beentold, maybe directly or
indirectly, to kind of just moveon, get over it?
And how did that affect you, ifyou were?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah.
So I knew you were going to askme this question, Heidi, and
when I first saw it, what was myresponse?
I don't know that I want toanswer this question.
That's a tough one for mebecause I feel like it happens
often, with with me having achronic illness and just in the
(09:51):
last few days, Um and I knowthat people mean well and I know
that they're not directlytrying to minimize what I'm
going through, but they do.
Some people just do, and I thinkit's out of fear maybe, and
it's almost like they don't wantto hear about it and I don't
(10:12):
talk about it very much.
I have my few safe people, ofcourse.
You're one of them, heidi, andHeidi knows all.
So she carries the burden withme, which is a hard thing to do
and I'm forever grateful.
But what happens is, you know,if we just choose a few people
who we can really trust withthat and that they won't say,
(10:35):
can you just kind of, you know,change your life so you can get
better?
Can you just rest more?
Are you drinking enough water?
I mean, what about this?
What about you know?
And there's a tone that says,can't you just move on?
There really is, and ourfeelings get hurt.
This happened just a few daysago.
(10:56):
A friend of mine, who I don'tsee that often, asked me how are
you feeling, how are you doingthese days?
And I thought, well, what do Ido?
Do I minimize it?
Does she really want to know?
Do I tell her that I'm reallyin the middle of a difficult
flare up or not?
So I decided to tell her andshe listened and then she said
(11:22):
wow, and changed the subject.
Yeah, and totally changed thesubject to something that she
was dealing with that wascompletely different.
So I'm just going to say thisto all of you who are listening
If you know someone who is inchronic pain or having a chronic
illness and they tell youwhat's happening, please say to
(11:43):
them.
That must be really hard todeal with.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I am sorry that you're going through that.
That must be really hard.
You don't have to know theanswers.
Just don't minimize whatthey're going through.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And really we minimize what they're going
through when we say, oh well,god's got you.
That may be true, but it'sminimizing what they just shared
.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, it is, and I think that we do that out of
fear, and I'm sure I've done it.
I'm sure I've done it in thepast, before I had a chronic
illness.
Wow, I mean, I think back.
How did I respond to people?
I'm sure I messed it all up.
So, you know, hear that from me.
But if you know someone who isin chronic pain or has a chronic
(12:33):
illness, please just validatethem.
You can say almost the samewords back to them Wow, you know
, that must be scary for you orhard for you or that kind of
thing.
You don't have to fix it, justbe there in, there, be in it
with them, because it's so hardwhen you are almost ignored, to
(12:56):
the point where someone issaying this is too scary for me
to listen to.
So will you please just sweepit under the rug.
That's what it feels like it'sreally tough, you know, and
that's this is from people wholove us.
Like it's really tough, youknow, and this is from people
who love us.
So, yeah, we don't want to dothat.
We are okay in the discomfort,we are okay to say this is
(13:19):
what's happening and invitingGod in and then inviting people
in, if they can be okay with ittoo.
That is so, so healing and soimportant, so important.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, I think it's a big, like you said, it's so
healing.
It's a big step on the path toexperiencing healing.
It really is we we have to be Idon't know trust God, that the
people that we share with hewill help us to process that too
.
You know, I have to tell you itkind of cracks me up a little
(13:56):
bit, but you know, we moved tothis new house recently and
Michael and I have been marriedalmost six years and but we're a
lot older than that.
So we have, you know, over ahundred years of baggage that we
do, the two of us and now I'mkidding, of course that's
emotional baggage, but then wealso have a lot of stuff.
(14:21):
So we had put because we haven'thad our own like home, to call
our own really.
Uh, since we got married, we'vemoved in and lived in camps and
whatnot all things that weretemporary and so it was time to
move to our own home, which wepurchased.
God has blessed us, and itmeant emptying out this storage
(14:43):
unit that we have been paying$130 a month for for five years
Wait a minute, what?
That's crazy Just to keep abunch of stuff that we don't use
.
Anyway, that's another storyentirely, but anyway, and so we
moved it all to our new home,into the carport the two car
(15:05):
carport.
It filled the carport carport.
It filled the carport.
No, I knew I was having troublegoing through the boxes, one at
a time.
I knew I was having troublewith that and I just assumed it
was because of my previousmarriage or because you know
something concrete and okay,that's yes, that's part of it.
But then I got to a box thathad I mean, yes, there was the
(15:30):
box with my previous husband'slove letters in it to me that
was hard Okay.
So I closed that box.
But then I got to the clothes,all the clothes I'd saved over
the years, all of the clothesthat represent all of the sizes
I've been, which, all at theheart of it, it's telling me you
(15:50):
have had this stronghold fordecades and are you really free?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yes, that's so real, heidi.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yes, and it's like not only that, but then there's
the box filled with my oldBibles.
That bible was given me to me bymy boyfriend in high school and
I'll it's like in that biblewas given to me by so-and-so my
cousin, who led me to the lordand then she died of brain
cancer and she had renounced herfaith.
(16:23):
Oh my gosh, okay, what do I do?
My husband wants me desperatelyto go through these boxes and
make it so hard, and so I yeah,I said to him I tried to get
through another box today and hegoes oh great, no, it didn't go
very well, and here's why.
(16:44):
And I told him some of thesereasons and he's like, yeah, I
have that problem too too, and Ifelt so minimized and it didn't
help a lot, and what I wantedwas him to acknowledge that I'd
been trying and to recognizethere's pain here, right, and so
(17:04):
I was able to, about a halfhour later, tell him that and
and we did have a goodconversation about it but really
, when you think about it, thereare so many things that still
affect me today and most of us,I think, can relate to that,
whether they're in boxes out inour carport or not.
(17:26):
Yeah, and God's healing.
Here's the thing.
God's healing may almostassuredly involve sifting
through some of that old pain,with him, but with his presence.
So, as I look at all of thoseold clothes, where am I now with
this Lord?
How am I growing in you?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
How am?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I turning to you to manage this stronghold that has
happened for so many years.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What can I?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
thank you for.
What can I anticipate in thedays ahead?
Oh, those are good questions,Aren't they?
Yeah?
They're from God.
I know they are from God.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
So Lamentations 3, verse 40, says Let us examine
our ways and test them and letus return to the Lord, which is
exactly what you were justtalking about, heidi.
Let's go ahead and open the box, let's examine, let's talk
about it, let's think about it,invite God in, test them, and
(18:24):
then returning to God with itagain and again and again.
I love that.
So you asked me earlier isthere a box from your past that
you've had to open up andprocess with God?
And I was thinking about how toanswer this and it came to me
while you were just talking.
So it wasn't when we firstmoved into this house.
(18:49):
It was when my mother-in-lawwas going to move in with us, so
we had to move out.
We moved across the street sothat the addition could be added
onto the top for her, and so wemoved across the street and
then, six months later, we movedback.
So that's the kind of thingthat really makes you look at
(19:11):
your stuff.
Because you're moving it somuch, it's like we have too much
stuff, like let's figure thisout, okay.
So that's when it was.
That was before I met you, heidi, that was two years before I
met you, so, and I had beenstruggling, you know, my whole
adult life with food and eatingissues, body image, all of it.
(19:31):
So I found a box and it justcame to me.
I just thought about this and Ihad to make a decision Am I
going to move it across thestreet and bring it back, or is
it time to sift through it andget rid of it?
And part of me wanted to justclose it up and move it and move
it back, but I did feel astrong nudge from the Lord let's
(19:57):
open it up.
I knew what was in it, but Ireally didn't want to look.
It was an entire box ofjournals.
Wow, you know, I had journaledfor years and years and years,
journaled my thoughts andfeelings and prayers and
scripture, and I didn't reallywant to look.
And this is why because at thetime I felt like I had not moved
(20:21):
forward at all in thestronghold.
I didn't even really realize itwas a stronghold.
At the time I was incrediblyself-condemning.
And so I pulled out thesejournals and started reading
them and pretty much they wereall the same.
I mean, there were there werewonderful things about my family
(20:43):
and my husband and things thathave happened and events, but
there was a theme to everyjournal and that was I'm a mess,
I'm a failure, I can't moveforward, there's no hope for me.
God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'msorry.
I blew it again.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
(21:03):
So I'm sitting here pouring overthese journals and it was just
kind of awful really to, to behonest and my husband comes over
and he says we need to, youknow, like, keep going, we've
got so much to do.
And he saw what I was doing andhe said would you like me to
burn those?
How did you know, I know?
(21:28):
And I said really?
And he said, yeah, I mean, isthere any reason for you to keep
those?
And he didn't really even knowwhat they were.
But I feel like God really usedhim to give me the courage.
And my husband loves to burnthings.
You know he loves fires.
He loves fires, he loves toburn and do fires outside,
(21:50):
inside, in our wood burningstove, and so I said yes, and he
put one in the fire, one at atime, and it was gone and it
wasn't.
It didn't feel so freeing thenbecause I didn't know what to do
with those feelings.
I didn't know.
It was like shame, shame, shame.
(22:11):
I and learning how to renew mymind.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
And.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I learned the truth about shame it's not from God.
It's not from God, I learned thetruth about being transformed
and forgiven and grace and allthose things, even though I had
(22:34):
been a Christian since I was alittle girl.
I had a lot of confusion there,a lot of lies going on, and so
later I mean I'm thankful thatthat box was gone at the time,
but later, and even now, I canlook back and say, wow, that was
something that God led me to.
He wanted to bring healing.
(22:55):
I wasn't quite ready, you know,for kind of the bigger healing,
the bigger understanding, butthen when it came, I thought
back to that box and I was sograteful that my husband had
burned all those journals thatwere full of guilt and shame.
That's not who I am, nope, andit's not who God calls me, and
(23:18):
it's not who he is either.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
This analogy that we've been using a box is from
our past is literal for us andit may be for you too, right,
but all of us have boxes quoteunquote boxes from our past that
we need to open up with theLord and process with him and
walk through the valley of theshadow of death with him.
And whether we do thatjournaling, or whether we do
that just prayerfully, whetherwe do that with a wonderful
(23:48):
Christian, hopefully therapistor a friend, or by ourselves
with him, it's just really animportant step in our healing to
dare to go there with him.
And, at the very least, if youlisten or decide to try this,
please call a friend and ask forprayer.
Yes, yeah, just let them knowthat you're trying to process
(24:11):
some things with the Lord thatare important to you and and
that you know he's calling youto it.
But you know it's going to behard and you'll want to run.
And if you want to run or shutdown, that's when the
counterfeit comforts are goingto seem most appealing.
He is the God of all comfortand he wants to comfort you.
So get some prayer support forthat, definitely.
(24:32):
You know, in our Christiancircles we really do have a lot
of people in the camp of forgetthe past.
And yes, there are scripturesthat speak of forgetting the
past.
I think we tend, when we usethose scriptures, we can misuse
them a lot of the time, becauseif you look at how the past is
(24:52):
treated, it's often becausewe've been wallowing in the past
that we need to forget it.
Yeah, right.
And so we want to find abiblical balance between
forgetting the past andremembering the lessons that can
come to us from looking withthe Lord at the past.
So, like perhaps, as you'velistened to us talking about
(25:15):
walk with the Lord through thevalley of the shadow of death,
you're like no, we're called toforget the past.
God has given us theseexperiences and he intends that
they become treasure.
I really believe that and it'simportant.
So let's, let's just be surethat we go there with the Lord
and recognize we want to balancethat thought, forget the past
(25:38):
or remember the lessons from thepast, and he will show us what
we need to do with that.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Right.
The Bible encourages us tolearn from the past while not
being defined by it.
We're not going to live there,we're not going to be defined by
it, we're not going to sit inthere, you know, sit there and
be consumed by it, but we'regoing to learn from it and then
truly move on in healing.
Not moving on towardcounterfeits, we're going to
(26:04):
move on toward healing andfreedom.
Philippians 3, 13 and 14.
Brothers and sisters, I do notconsider myself yet to have
taken hold of it, but one thingI do forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what isahead, I press on toward the
goal to win the prize for whichGod has called me heavenward in
(26:28):
Christ Jesus.
So forgetting what is behindbut pressing forward because of
what we have learned.
Amen, there's both.
We need both.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
And that's the way it is with many things it's an and
not an, either or or a but yeah, deuteronomy 8.2 says remember
how the Lord, your God, led youall the way in the wilderness.
I mean, there were a lot ofdifficulties in the wilderness,
but God had a very specificreason for challenging Israel to
remember.
(27:02):
And how do you suppose we canhonor the past that God has
allowed in our lives, bylearning from it, without
getting stuck there?
What comes to mind for you?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Yeah, what comes immediately to mind is my mom,
and I was just talking about herearlier in our podcast and it
was just Mother's Day, so shehas been on my mind so much this
week.
And again, you know, Imentioned we're going to go on
this trip.
We're actually going to go tothe place where she was born and
raised and went through thosedifficult, traumatic times, and
(27:39):
so I know I want to honor thepast that she went through and I
want to honor her and herefforts to love me and raise me
as well as she could, with allthe mistakes and stumbles.
I want to honor what she wentthrough.
I want to honor her.
A long time ago I had to gothrough some forgiveness work
(28:03):
with her.
I'm not with her.
It was while she was stillalive.
It was about her.
She had Alzheimer's disease, sothere wasn't an opportunity to
do it with her, which wastotally okay.
But I feel like I'm at a placenow where I can see so much more
of what was good in ourrelationship and how God was
(28:24):
there in the midst of it all andhow he protected me and
provided other supports in mylife to hold me up when she
couldn't, like my grandmotherlike best friends, things like
that.
Yeah, I love this idea ofhonoring the past by learning
from it, examining it, spendingtime in it, looking at the
(28:46):
pictures, the notes, whatever itis, but not getting stuck there
and it's a jumping off pointtoward healing and freedom
rather than, yeah, getting stuck.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, and it's good stuff.
It's challenging me with thistask ever before me this weekend
.
I want to heading back to thecarport and the boxes that are
out there.
I really do want to.
I really do want to processsome of it.
Try throwing some of it away.
(29:19):
Wouldn't that be novel?
I mean, michael bless his heart.
He saw that I had two flatboxes, you know the big kind
that fit under the bed.
He saw that there were twoboxes under our bed now and he's
like what, what is that therefor?
And I said it's just oldclothes.
(29:40):
And I said I know I'll never bethat size again.
It was too harsh what it tookto be that size, what I had to
do to my body to be that size.
That was part of my dysfunctionas well.
And he said why didn't you justget rid of it?
I mean, good question, right?
Yeah, whatever that is, it'sthere for me to go with God too.
(30:03):
I need to walk with him throughthat.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
And so I think I'm going to, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
It's hard.
Those things take a lot ofcourage.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, they do.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
And sometimes time is needed as well.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's true, yeah, so Christ-centered confidence is
what we're after, instead ofturning to counterfeit comforts,
and a really good thing to knowis that confidence living in
Christ-centered confidence isn'tabout me feeling strong.
Yeah, it's about knowing thatI'm held by the one who is, that
(30:37):
I'm held by the one who is.
I know that I need to go to Godwith this discomfort of oh,
it's just a huge discomfort.
It's making me squeamish eventhinking about it the whole
stronghold being so long lastingand all the different phases of
it, and on and on and on itgoes.
But I can bring it to him and Ican have prayer support, of
(31:00):
course, as I do, and not turn toself soothing or counterfeit
comforts.
I can do what we call titrating.
I can do a little bit of thehard work and then intermingle
that with a little bit ofsomething fun that I can enjoy,
like go and play with my dogoutside or go for a walk or
something like that, and thencome back to it.
(31:21):
I don't have to do it all inone sitting, and so I know that
in this way my capacity willgrow for processing the
uncomfortable stuff with theLord who loves me so much.
One of the things I think I'malso going to do to be able to
bring things to him as I gothrough this stuff in the
carport is I'm going to remindmyself of who God is.
(31:43):
Who God is, it's reallyimportant in all of this, and so
my God list.
I'll probably do a lot ofpraise, festing some of the
tools you've heard us talk about, and then I'm going to remind
myself who I am in Christ,because that's who I am.
I'm not defined by who I was.
I'm not defined by my choicesover the years.
(32:04):
I'm not defined by any of that.
I'm defined by the one who hasmade me and continues to do the
work that he planned to do untilit comes to completion, like
Philippians 1.6 speaks of.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I love that.
I love that.
I love what you said, heidi,about I don't have to do it all
at once.
I think that's huge for so manyof us.
I didn't realize that for along time I thought I'm going to
have to deal with this wholething this weekend or today or
whatever it is, and that is notat all true.
(32:38):
You could do one minute.
You could do one minute, that'sit.
Just go there for a minute andprocess.
Or, for me, invite God in andsay, lord, let's just do one
minute of that really hard thingand then put it aside for a
while.
God doesn't mind, he's notcalling us to do this huge, you
(33:00):
know difficult processing time.
I mean, sometimes that happens.
I think sometimes it does, butfor the most part it's really
okay to do little bits, becauseit's hard and it hurts.
It's okay to do little bits.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
So we have a couple of practical ideas for you, and
these are just a few of many,many, many different things that
you might do just to enter intothat minute or five minutes or
10 minutes, with the Lordprocessing something that's hard
.
One is just sitting with theLord, just sitting with him.
Actually, you don't even haveto say a word.
(33:41):
And if that's hard for youbecause your mind starts
spinning which happens to memaybe just grab one verse and
read it over and over or onetruth you know God is here, or
just Jesus, his name, just Jesus, yeah.
Invite him in in such a simpleway.
You don't have to figure it allout.
(34:03):
What am I going to say?
How am I going to do?
No, just sit with him, justinvite him in and begin that way
.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Great idea.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Another one is breath prayers during moments of
discomfort.
And we do this, heidi, and I,and we know a lot of people that
are using breath prayers.
Now, it's not complicated, it'sso simple.
It's just breathing in and outand saying truth as you do.
That's all it is.
It calms your body physicallyand it fills your mind with
(34:35):
truth.
So an example that would be sosimple would be breathing in and
saying, jesus, I trust you.
Breathing out and saying I knowyou're here.
Or you could use a scriptureverse or part of a scripture
verse or any truth that lines upwith scripture.
(34:55):
Maybe you want your breathprayer to be about inviting God
in.
Breathe in and say, god, Iinvite you in.
Breathe out and say to thistime with me, you know.
That's all it could be, itcould be so simple.
And those breath prayers inmoments of discomfort, it gives
(35:16):
you a little moment to just kindof pause before you run to the
counterfeit.
Pause and invite God in, and,of course, it cal've kind of
mentioned already, heidi, justbeing in community.
You don't have to do all of thisby yourself.
(35:37):
You know talking with peoplethat you know and trust about
what's going on, about whathappened.
Maybe it's confession.
Maybe it's something that notsomething you've done, but
something that's been done toyou, or pain from you know a
different circumstance.
Maybe it's something physical,you know, reach out to someone
(35:59):
who is a safe person and talkabout it, and you could even say
to that person do you have fiveminutes, cause that's all we're
going to do today?
We're just, if you, you know ifyou'll enter into this with me,
let's sit down for five minutesand then that's it for today.
That's, that's okay, and formany of us we think I have the
(36:21):
capacity for five minutes.
I can do that.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yeah, that's doable.
Second Corinthians, 12, verse 9, says this is Jesus speaking.
Of course, my grace issufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness.
You got to love it because heknew that we would wonder how on
(36:45):
earth can I do this?
But he says okay, you are weakand that's okay, because in your
weakness my grace is sufficient.
My power is made perfect in you.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Yeah, so thinking about that, what does
Christ-centered confidence looklike in the middle of discomfort
, not just after healing?
But you've done five minutes,it's still there.
There's still going to be a lotof work that needs to be done.
What does that look like?
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, I think for me it has to look like.
Even if there's no heavenlychorus of angels singing and
feathers falling from heaven,it's like I recognize and
confess the truth.
God has been here with me andhe has entered into this time
with me and I will be back.
(37:39):
I will do it again, and so,even if I don't feel like it's
finished, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
That's okay, right, right.
Yeah, that's so valuable, heidi.
I mean, does anybody ever tellus that?
Speaker 1 (37:54):
No, I don't think so, I don't think anyone's ever
told me that it's.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
You're okay, Even though you processed only five
minutes with the Lord or withthat difficult thing.
You're okay because you're inGod's grip and we'll get back to
it.
You're really okay, this isgoing to be all right and that's
Christ centered confidence, notme centered confidence.
There's a big difference there.
That feels really really good.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I think it's true that oftentimes, even in bless
their hearts recovery circles,which I don't consider
revelation within a recoveryministry but it is in many ways
consider revelation within arecovery ministry, but it is in
many ways, I suppose.
But it's almost like you areeither not yet healed or you're
all good.
And I don't think that's fromthe Lord, because if we set up a
(38:42):
dichotomy like that, we'regoing to, I think, always feel
like we're not quite doing itright.
And we have to just press intohim.
Press into him and recognizethis moment is one where he is
with us in our imperfection, inour weakness, and he is there to
love on us and to validate usand affirm us.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yes, so healing is a journey.
Processing with God is the onlypath to true peace.
What you're longing for, thatpeace, I mean what I'm longing
for in that moment, what you'relonging for, Heidi there is only
(39:24):
one place where we can findthat and that's.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
Jesus, the answer is always him.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
The rest it's all counterfeits.
When we go to him first, that'swhere we can find that peace
and everything else will beadded after yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I think there's a Bible verse about that.
Seek first his kingdom and hisrighteousness, and all these
things will be added to you aswell.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Well, and there's that other verse about life and
peace that you quoted when youwere going into surgery.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
That's in Romans and it, and Romans 8, 5 or something
like that.
Yeah, the mind controlled bythe spirit is life and peace.
There you go, love that verse,love it, love it, love it.
So consider, listener, as we'rewrapping up now, where do you
feel like you are tempted tonumb right now, like maybe not
(40:11):
this minute, but this evening ortomorrow sometime, or?
Speaker 2 (40:16):
or after that event or that difficult phone call.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yes, yeah, I mean it's interesting how many people
we have talked to over theyears who have said that, oh, I
did great on Thanksgiving day.
It was the day afterThanksgiving that I had all
kinds of problems and went offthe rails.
And I think that happens.
So, knowing ahead of time thatthere might be those situations
that will tempt you to numb out,look at that with the Lord.
(40:41):
Invite him to show you wheremight I be tempted to numb, if
not right now, then in thefuture, and then ask him to show
you what would it look like toinvite the Lord to take the lid
off or open the box or whateveryou want to call it, to look at
those feelings of discomfort,their origins, whatever it is
(41:04):
for you, what it would look liketo look at that with you.
Like, for me, you know, why do Ihave those boxes of clothes
that I'll never wear, ever again, and it's not just down a size,
I mean, it's down 10 sizes,basically, you know, or whatever
it might be.
And and the love letters frommy previous husband, what is
going on inside of me that makesme hang on to that?
(41:24):
And is that from the Lord?
And really invite him to showme.
What is his way of thinkingabout these things?
How can I honor him and renewmy mind about yeah, I want to
think his thoughts about all theboxes and even if they aren't
literal boxes in your life, thenyou know, like the things, that
(41:45):
you know what they are, whatthe thoughts are that you
struggle with or that motivateyou to numb out.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Well, we are so glad that you've been here today and
we would love to invite you toour next podcast here at
Revelation Within.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
All righty, see you next time.
Bye-bye.
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