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January 1, 2025 โ€ข 33 mins

RE-VIEW: Planet Fitness (From Ep 30)

๐Ÿ‘‘ Happy New Year, Queens!

In this week's RE-VIEW Episode, we revisit a fan-favorite which originally aired on December 29th, 2021 when Trey and Chelsey donned their festive New Yearโ€™s attire to dive into a 3 Star Yelp Review of Planet Fitness. ๐Ÿ’ช๐ŸŽ‰

From bizarre locker room encounters ๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ to questionable grammar and outrageous claims, this review is a wild ride! Tune in to hear the queens break it all down, complete with an exploration of the unintentional hilarity in Matthew Qโ€™s infamous words. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‘

๐ŸŽง Highlights from this week:

  • Chelseyโ€™s New Yearโ€™s resolution to meditate once a week ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ
  • Treyโ€™s journey to becoming a runner in the snow โ„๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ
  • An outrageous locker room incident sparking questionable conclusions ๐Ÿค”

Catch this throwback of hilarity, reflection, and... tinsel boas? ๐ŸŽŠโœจ

Timestamps:

  • Lodge A Complaint โ€“ Resolutions Edition: [06:00]
  • Review Breakdown โ€“ Planet Fitness Yelp Review: [09:42]
  • The Verdict โ€“ Crowning Matthew Q: [24:30]
  • My Royal Highness โ€“ [27:26]
  • On This Week's After Show Pod โ€“ [30:00]

๐Ÿ‘‘ Donโ€™t miss next weekโ€™s exciting new chapter in the Review That Review journey! โœจ

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TREY GERRALD (00:00):
Happy New Year, Queens!
This is going to be our finalReview Review That Review episode.
We are now in the year 2025.
Something so exciting is happening nextWednesday, but until we get there, here we are.
We are going to Review ReviewThat Review episode 30.
This was our very first New Year's episode, andboy oh boy are we going to get Controversial.

(00:27):
This episode originally airedon December 29th of 2021.
Aw, what simpler times.
And it originally contained two complaints,two Royal Highness inductions, and a very hilarious review of Nikki Beach.
So let's jump back in to episode 30.
And hey, while you're at it, why don'tyou head on over to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening right now and give us a five star review.

(00:53):
Chelsey and I are so excited for next week.
Enjoy this final installment of Review,Review That Review, and if you head on out to the gym, make sure you keep your eyes down.
Love you, Queens.
Mwah.

VOICEOVER (01:09):
Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score.,
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Whose viewswin which ones lose, Online haters are coming for

CHELSEY DONN (01:37):
you, Baby, it's

TREY GERRALD (01:39):
time

CHELSEY DONN (01:40):
to Review That Review!

TREY GERRALD (01:47):
Hey, everyone.
Welcome to Review That Review.
We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

CHELSEY DONN (01:52):
Reviews!
We're just like Siskel and Ebert.
Only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces,we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
Trey, you all right?

TREY GERRALD (02:05):
Oh, I'm trying to put these stupid glasses on.
These um, Happy New Year They're like paper.
I bought these New Year's glasses.
Thinking they were real, but they're paper

CHELSEY DONN (02:17):
they r and d paper.
But you look amazing.

TREY GERRALD (02:20):
I'm wearing New Year's glasses for the Patreon.
Anyway, that voice is Chelsea Dawn,

CHELSEY DONN (02:25):
and that voice is Trey Gerald.

TREY GERRALD (02:27):
And together our voices form

CHELSEY DONN (02:29):
the review queens.
And you are an R cutie, if I might say so myself.
Trey looks so dapper.
You guys, first of all, he's sporting a very.
Dapper mustache.
The hair is perfect.
The glasses, even thoughthey're paper, are very chic.

(02:50):
And they have a crown on them.
They have a, Oh my God.
Yes.
I didn't even notice the crown.
They say Happy New Year.
Trey has a bow tie on and a nicelike tux moment and a tinsel boa.

TREY GERRALD (03:02):
This is actually a Hanukkah boa that I left out, but it's silver.
So.
It very much works.

CHELSEY DONN (03:09):
Yes,

TREY GERRALD (03:11):
anyway, how is your week going, Chelsey?

CHELSEY DONN (03:14):
My week is going great.
I'll just start by saying that, So Treywas like, we should dress up because it's New Year, you know, our New Year's episode.
And I was like, oh yeah, I have this like perfectdress that's black and it has these gold dots on it, but I haven't worn it since pre, COVID.
So there's a little worry that it wasgoing to be tight and it's like loose.
So Mazel Tov.

(03:36):
So the whole like, yeah, I mean, I feel great.
So that's very exciting.
My week has been good.
I started going, I think I maybe mentionedthat I started going to acupuncture again, which has been life changing.
Obsessed.
He told me that I needed to sleep on my left side.
That's very, very important.
Apparently, are you a side sleeper?

TREY GERRALD (03:56):
I am a side sleeper.

CHELSEY DONN (03:57):
Do you know if you sleep on your left or your right side?

TREY GERRALD (04:00):
I switch.
I go back and forth.

CHELSEY DONN (04:01):
Apparently it's unhealthy to sleep on the right side.
It's healthy to sleep on the left side.
And I've been switching and I really,I don't think it's psychosomatic.
I feel better.
I wake up more awake.
I, my acid reflux, I have an acid reflux issue.
Much better.
So I don't know.
I'm just going to keep doing it, eventhough it does disrupt my sleep a little bit, cause I'm not used to it.

(04:22):
You know, new year, new sidesleeper, left sider for me.

TREY GERRALD (04:26):
It's probably something with like the heart and whatever, you know, I did buy the specific pillow that is like indented in the center, but it's

CHELSEY DONN (04:35):
four side sleepers.

TREY GERRALD (04:37):
Yes.
Yes.
But it's like the most comfortableI've ever laid on my back and I can't get comfortable laying on my back.
But yeah, I'm definitely a side sleeper.

CHELSEY DONN (04:45):
Yeah.
How's your week been otherwise?

TREY GERRALD (04:47):
Good.
I've been a little hesitant to share this,

CHELSEY DONN (04:50):
but

TREY GERRALD (04:51):
I have recently been investigating what it means to become a runner.
And so I downloaded an appcalled Couch to 3K, Couch to 4K.

CHELSEY DONN (05:02):
Okay.

TREY GERRALD (05:03):
And I'm just, you know, I'm just in week two.
I'm at the beginning of week three.
It's three runs a week and it's been going great.
And I've already lost four pounds.

CHELSEY DONN (05:12):
Oh my God.
Look at us just apparentlylosing weight or body mass

TREY GERRALD (05:17):
or something.
But I can feel it.
Like my knees, you know, it's like gives methe excuse to take a bath every night, which I love doing, but I can, you know, I can just feel like my joints and all of that, but I got fitted for like professional running shoes and I'm like doing it really real.
And of course it's like snowing.
So like, Oh, true.
I picked the worst seasonto become a runner, to start

CHELSEY DONN (05:37):
running,

TREY GERRALD (05:38):
but I'm so into it.
I love it.
And, um, I'm wondering ifmaybe talking about weight

CHELSEY DONN (05:44):
is a

TREY GERRALD (05:44):
good segue into

CHELSEY DONN (05:46):
Large complaint.
Trey, I just feel like it's a new year.
We got to bring in that positive energy.
So I'm thinking for this episode, let's notlodge a complaint, though we know we both have tons to lodge, but for today in honor of New Year's, do you have a resolution?

TREY GERRALD (06:03):
Let's do it.
Let's do resolutions instead.

VOICEOVER (06:06):
Come on and make a change, change, change, change, change it, change it, change it, change it, change

TREY GERRALD (06:11):
it, change it, change it,
change it.
Well, if anyone knows wherethat sound cue is from.
You're hilarious.
Chelsey, what is your resolution?

CHELSEY DONN (06:22):
Thank you for asking, Trey.
So I've really been trying to getMore micro with my resolutions.
Cause I feel like in the past I'vealways done the typical resolutions where I'm like, I'm going to lose weight.
I'm going to do these thingsthat feel very overwhelming.
And last year, my New Year's resolution, which Ithink I mentioned was to accept compliments, which I thought was great because you know, anytime something like that would come up, I would, I would think about it and it was very helpful.

(06:49):
So this year I thought, what can I, whatcan I add to my life that doesn't feel too taxing, but that could help me a lot.

TREY GERRALD (06:56):
Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN (06:56):
And I was thinking, I want to commit to meditating,

TREY GERRALD (07:00):
but

CHELSEY DONN (07:03):
just once a week to start, you know, just once a week can be a short guided meditation and also like sound healing.
Like any of that stuff that I like to do thatcounts, but just to try to do it with consistency.
So that's my New Year's resolutionis to meditate once a week.
It feels not too daunting, which is what Ilook for in a New Year's resolution these days.

TREY GERRALD (07:26):
I think that's smart setting yourself up for success.
You know, the whole thing about a habit ishowever many hours and you got to start small.
You know, that's what this running app hasbeen for me is like small, achievable actions.

CHELSEY DONN (07:38):
Yeah,

TREY GERRALD (07:39):
I'm not trying to run a marathon yet.
I'm trying to, like, encourage running.

CHELSEY DONN (07:42):
I really like the name of the app.
It just makes you feel good.
Like, Oh, yes, I was on the couch.

TREY GERRALD (07:48):
Yeah, totally.

CHELSEY DONN (07:49):
Now I'm gonna, like, Ease my way.
We're all about easing our way into 2022.
Let's be honest, we've been througha lot the past couple of years,

TREY GERRALD (07:58):
but I love this.
We can, maybe we can periodically, um,check in, see if we need to support one another in our resolutions.

CHELSEY DONN (08:05):
Love, I would love to be your accountability buddy,

TREY GERRALD (08:08):
Listeners too,

CHELSEY DONN (08:09):
Yeah, right, Awesome, And also call in, leave a voicemail, Let us know your new year's resolution, And maybe we can remind you on the show or something, Help keep you accountable,

TREY GERRALD (08:17):
Actually, let's do that, Please call in our voicemail box and leave us a voicemail telling us what your resolution is, Maybe it's something we can like focus on for the month of January, Maybe even throughout the year, You know, there's nothing more powerful than wanting to be better.
So, 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.

CHELSEY DONN (08:36):
Call us up.
I was gonna say there might be one thing,Trey, that is more powerful than that.

TREY GERRALD (08:42):
Tell us, what is it?

CHELSEY DONN (08:44):
I think it's online reviews and the people who leave them!

TREY GERRALD (08:47):
Girl, you're profesh.
Look at that segue.
Who are you, Wendy Williams?
Well, I think that we should jumpin because, as you all know, Chelsey and I are your trusty Review Queens.
We each bring in a review from the Internetthat we feel needs to be inspected.

CHELSEY DONN (09:04):
We read the review, we break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns.
It's a very regal process thatwe call Assess That Kevich.
And this week, Trey and I are each sharingreviews from the Internet that are centered around New Year's Eve, because you guys know we love a special edition episode.

(09:24):
So this, of course, is our specialedition New Year's episode.
And your first today, RQT.
Oh,

TREY GERRALD (09:32):
New Year, new me.

CHELSEY DONN (09:33):
Yes, take it away, RQ,
Review That Review!

TREY GERRALD (09:42):
Okay, so today, I was really thinking, when I think of the new year, what are things I think of?
And I do think of Times Square,which we've thoroughly covered in this first year of the podcast.

CHELSEY DONN (09:57):
Yes.

TREY GERRALD (09:58):
So I was like, I don't want to do Times Square, but I want, like, what do I think of when I think of the, like, rockin New Year's Eve?
And I think of, like, all thefunny hats that everyone wears.
And people tend to be wearing funny PlanetFitness hats, because Planet Fitness, while having a sponsorship with the television show, The Biggest Loser, took an initiative to sponsor New Year's Rockin Eve for many years in a row, which is why you would see 8 billion commercials for Planet Fitness and all those purple and yellow Planet Fitness hats.

(10:34):
So today, I have a three star review fromYelp written by Matthew Q for Planet Fitness.

CHELSEY DONN (10:46):
Let's hear it.
Isn't Planet Fitness the one that like, it's likea dollar a month or it's something like fair.
It's not a dollar, but like it's something very,

TREY GERRALD (10:54):
very cheap.
It is interesting.
So Planet Fitness.
This is like a nationwide gem that istraditionally anywhere between 10 a month or 20 a

VOICEOVER (11:03):
month,

TREY GERRALD (11:03):
and it was one of the first sort of very cheap cost gems.
Yeah.
Okay, glad

CHELSEY DONN (11:11):
I

TREY GERRALD (11:11):
know that.
All right.
So here we go.
Here is Matthew Q's three starYelp review for Planet Fitness.

CHELSEY DONN (11:19):
Can't wait.

TREY GERRALD (11:20):
LOL.
Where to start?
When I first came here and went to the changingroom for the first time, I see is a swing dick.
I thought this was a gay gym, so I wantdownstairs and demanded a refund, cause damn, this can't be an everyday thing, but they insisted this wasn't, so we LOL it off.

(11:49):
So a month in, I notice I getlooked at That's like the at symbol.
A lot by these hungry looking females.
So I'm thinking, damn, I guess the girlsin here like working their arms because I'm always on the upper body machines.
But I was wrong.

(12:10):
See, the name Planet Fitness is only 50 percentaccurate, but it's not a planet for fitness.
It's a planet filled with some of the mostthirstiest, dehydrated thoughts, In a concentrated area, The sexual frustration was real, So I made the George Bush decision, In almost getting with on of them, Until VV Cloths was off, Reverted story short, I came to the conclusion, That 70 percent of the girls in there got toxic pussies,

(12:53):
They probably wash theircoochies in the East River,

CHELSEY DONN (12:58):
Stop it,

TREY GERRALD (13:00):
If I had stuck my dick in there, It would have spontaneously combusted,

VOICEOVER (13:06):
Oh my god,

TREY GERRALD (13:08):
Also, if you want machines, go there at midnight, Way better.

CHELSEY DONN (13:15):
Oh my friggin God.
Okay.
Matthew is giving that otherguy, what was his name?
The Pillsbury

TREY GERRALD (13:22):
guy.

CHELSEY DONN (13:23):
Oh yeah.
The OkCupid guy, a real run for his money.
Isn't this crazy?
Okay.
This is so crazy for so many reasons.
Number one, I don't understandsome of the words in this review.
Am I just like, I mean, I justlooked up thought because I was like, I feel like I've heard that one.
So that's a woman who has many casualsexual encounters or relationships.

(13:44):
What is with like the attack on women and alsolike the Dick thing in the in the dressing room.
What what was he referencing?

TREY GERRALD (13:52):
So it does appear just off the bat Matthew did not do a spell check.

CHELSEY DONN (13:57):
Obviously, right?

TREY GERRALD (13:58):
So Thought it's funny to me that you didn't know thought but there's no judgment thought.

CHELSEY DONN (14:04):
Why thank you.
I've heard it before

TREY GERRALD (14:06):
Planet Fitness is a no judgment zone.
That's their slogan thought is anacronym and it stands for that hoe over

CHELSEY DONN (14:15):
there.
Okay.

TREY GERRALD (14:16):
Which can be any gender, any gender, men are lots of times hoes, non binary people can be hoes as well.

CHELSEY DONN (14:23):
Well, that's, I mean, that's really my biggest complaint with this review is like, why are we narrowing in on the women?
Why are we attacking the women here?
Like, all of a sudden, the women are thoughts.
I know some thirsty guys at gyms, too.
Well,

TREY GERRALD (14:38):
it sounds like it sounds like Matthew was thirsty.

CHELSEY DONN (14:40):
Yeah, it sounds like Matt.
I mean, he carried through with at least oneof these women that he's, you know, well,

TREY GERRALD (14:48):
I don't know, because It says, I came to the conclusion that 70 percent of the girls in there.
So as Matthew, a mathematician, likehow did they get the average of 70%?
Also, they sort of are veryhomophobic in the beginning.
Well, that's what

CHELSEY DONN (15:06):
I was asking.
What, like, what were they saying they saw?

TREY GERRALD (15:10):
It says the first thing I see is a swing dick.
I think they left out like a swinging

CHELSEY DONN (15:15):
dick.

TREY GERRALD (15:15):
That's what I think.
Like

CHELSEY DONN (15:16):
somebody has.
there, the, their dick out in the locker in

TREY GERRALD (15:20):
the locker room, which they call changing room, and then they immediately went downstairs cause they thought this was a gay jam, they can't go to a gay jam, I feel grossed out Okay, and then, there's just a lot of misspelling.
Every time the word, I, is here, unless it's atthe beginning of a sentence, it's lowercase, um,

CHELSEY DONN (15:37):
Yeah, spelling was terrible.

TREY GERRALD (15:39):
They used the at symbol twice.

CHELSEY DONN (15:41):
Doesn't bother me as much.

TREY GERRALD (15:44):
Like, it

CHELSEY DONN (15:45):
is colloquial, but we all know what it means, at least.
So, yeah, that's an

TREY GERRALD (15:50):
interesting point.
Yeah, I don't, yeah, yeah.

CHELSEY DONN (15:53):
It's not scholarly Review Queen y, but it's not like a demerit for me.

TREY GERRALD (15:58):
You know, also, it says, like, I made the George Bush decision and almost getting with On, but I think they mean one, getting with one of them, until, wait, wait,

CHELSEY DONN (16:11):
almost getting with one,

TREY GERRALD (16:13):
and almost getting with one of them until the, the, cloths, but it should be clothes, and it's only one the.
Okay,

CHELSEY DONN (16:23):
so, so what we're claiming, Matthew, which, again, doesn't, I don't think this holds up in a court of law, but what Matthew is claiming is that he went on a date with one of them or whatever it was, or took one of them home, they took their clothes off, and then he was like, get out of here, you thought,

TREY GERRALD (16:40):
I guess, I'm also recognizing here that twice Matthew Q speaks in percentages, saying that Planet Fitness is only 50 percent accurate, and then the conclusion that 70 percent of the girls got toxic pussies spelled p u s s y s.
Is that how you would spell pussies?

(17:01):
Wouldn't it be i e s?
Oh, plural of But how do you spell turkeys?
Because isn't that y s, turkeys?
Turkeys.
Oh, God.
I don't know.
I don't usually say turkeys.
Because kitties, you would say kitties is I E S.
I E

CHELSEY DONN (17:15):
S.

TREY GERRALD (17:16):
Puppies, I E S.
So would pussies.
It's probably

CHELSEY DONN (17:19):
I E S.
I don't know.
This conversation is making me very uncomfortable.

TREY GERRALD (17:23):
It's very interesting to me that you can say dick so many times and pussy.
Yelp didn't flag that.
I mean, I guess those are not, they'revulgar, but they're not cuss words.
But like, Like, to just come acrossthis review on Yelp is insane.

CHELSEY DONN (17:37):
Yeah, I mean, you obviously heard my multiple gasps.
I even interrupted a little bit, which Iapologize for, but I just, I couldn't hold back.
And here's where I'm struggling with, withMatthew Q here, even, even to give them anything.
Do we find any value in Matthew's review?
Is there anything in here thatyou're like, okay, good to know?

TREY GERRALD (17:59):
Will they say that if you want machines, go there at midnight.
It's way better.
It's the last statement.
I mean, okay.
The only point is that it's crowded.
So go at a late time.
Also, I'm thinking maybe like the locker roomsaren't very private because you can see people.

CHELSEY DONN (18:18):
I just think this is so gross.
I hate when, I mean, I hate when anyone, likeif this was reverse gender and there was a woman that was talking about like a guy's dick smelling like the East River or some shit like that, I would be, I'm not going to say equally offended because I'm a woman.
So obviously this hits closer tohome, but I would be Peeved for sure.

(18:40):
I think it's inappropriate andcrazy and I'm so grossed out.
I'm going to try to like go throughsome of the notes that I made.
I mean, LOL'd it off.

TREY GERRALD (18:51):
Yeah.
Laughed out loud it off.
So does that mean, does that mean that thepeople at the front desk were homophobic as well?
Because they were laughing out loud with them.

CHELSEY DONN (19:00):
Why are we, we're mixing, we're mixing phrases here.
Let's just say laughed it off.
Why is it laughed out loud it off?

TREY GERRALD (19:07):
Oh, good catch.

CHELSEY DONN (19:09):
Why, you know, we, even if it was like we LOL'd, that's, I guess, okay.
I don't know.
There's something about the LOL'dit off that I'm like, all right.

TREY GERRALD (19:19):
This review was written seven years ago and it has not been taken down.

CHELSEY DONN (19:24):
Oh, really?
Interesting.
Yes.
That is crazy.
You'd think like someone wouldhave read it and reported it.

TREY GERRALD (19:30):
There's tons of replies on other reviews.
On

CHELSEY DONN (19:34):
other reviews.

TREY GERRALD (19:35):
Yeah.
So, you know, they saw it.

CHELSEY DONN (19:37):
Why wouldn't they report this?
I don't know.
It's very easy to report this review.
I mean, I almost want to go onand report it myself because there is a sexual conduct or something.
There is a category for inappropriate language.
And why is this three stars?
That was exactly the pointI was just about to make.

(19:58):
What, why is this three stars?
Like, like, in order for you to give it a threestar, which at first, before I found out the truth about Matthew Q, not leaning into the Q for any reason, but before I found out about Matthew Q, I thought, all right, I'm interested.
I like a three star review.
We've talked about this before.

(20:19):
It's sort of middle of the road.
When I read a three star review, I expect tohave some positives thrown into the review, a little negative sprinkled in there, but you know, a little enough to make it feel like I needed to take off a couple stars.
Something bad happened at this place that Ireally like, you know, even if it was just the swinging dick, which I think again, homophobic, but like still ew, gross, disgusting, but would make sense categorized as a three star review.

(20:50):
If you're so offended by 50 percent of planetfitness, and you don't even want to look at any of the women that are apparently just going gaga over you, which no offense, Matthew, I kind of doubt.
Why are you giving this?
Three stars.
Sounds like you hate 50 percent of it.

TREY GERRALD (21:12):
Well, I was thinking maybe it's three stars because this is the only place where Matthew gets attention from women that he deems are not good enough to him.
Also, I didn't think the idea ofseeing a swinging dick was homophobic.
I thought the idea of Ithought this was a gay gym.
So I went downstairs and demanded a refundbecause damn, this can't be an everyday thing.
That was the homophobic.

CHELSEY DONN (21:31):
Yes, I agree.
But that whole section like where Iwas like, I thought it was a dildo.
I don't know what he was.
They were talking, he was talking about, butI did think that he was alluding to something that felt immediately homophobic to me.

TREY GERRALD (21:48):
It's interesting.
I'm trying to take myself back to seven years ago.
Like, were we culturally in a placewhere it's like cool to say that?
Cause I, I would believe that.
Unless you're an extremist religious person,most straight men know, like, a lot of women are friends with gay people, so you can't, like, hate gay people, like, your women are not gonna think that's cool, like, thankfully, gay people have that going for them,

CHELSEY DONN (22:13):
Don't think Matthew has any level of self awareness, Who leaves this

TREY GERRALD (22:20):
review?

CHELSEY DONN (22:20):
This review is completely lacking self awareness.
I don't even think it's a time thing.
I don't want to give any excuses.
Obviously, I can never.
Really expect that people are going to seethe world the way you and I see the world.
I don't think seven years, 10 years, 20years, 30 years is an excuse for this kind of bigotry and not only for this kind of bigotry, but this kind of Public declaration of your bigotry as if this is okay.

(22:52):
It's not okay, Matthew.
I'm not pleased.
I hope that in the seven years sinceyou've written this review, there has been some growth and I will leave the option open that you can change.
But the Matthew that opted to write thisreview not only is Extremely inappropriate, extremely hurtful, and just gross and irksome.

(23:19):
You are clogging up the Planet Fitness Yelp.

TREY GERRALD (23:24):
In that context, it really is so weird.
Like, I wonder if Matthew Qwould be ashamed of this today.
It is like, it's such a portrait.
of, of a person's viewpoint in life.
That is so unflattering.
Even if you don't like gay people, even ifyou have an issue with that, but I think we all can understand, like, you can't speak about women like this, especially if you were wanting to have sex with them.

(23:51):
Like, what woman is going toread this and then be into that?

CHELSEY DONN (23:56):
I'm disappointed.
I'm disappointed.

TREY GERRALD (23:59):
Okay, we've said this spelling grammar is awful.
Uh, we don't really find muchvalue in maybe the last sentence.

CHELSEY DONN (24:05):
No, it's not funny.

TREY GERRALD (24:07):
It's hilariously not funny.

CHELSEY DONN (24:10):
No.

TREY GERRALD (24:10):
So do we think, I mean, we don't even think, That Matthew's being truthful here because they're saying they've reached this conclusion after almost getting with someone and then they speak in these percentages.
Right.
But like, how did you reachthat mathematical conclusion?
Correct.
Don't trust him now.
Like, I think I could crown this.

CHELSEY DONN (24:30):
I, I'm going to struggle to crown it because I, you know, but I will crown Matthew.

TREY GERRALD (24:36):
I do want to tell before we do one person has found this.
Useful in the seven years, threepeople have marked it as funny and one person has marked it as cool.

CHELSEY DONN (24:49):
The only, I'm sorry, I'm flustered.
The only thing that is a little reassuring aboutthat is that it has been there for so long.
And I guess only that amount of the populace,you know, is in some agreement with Matthew, which Makes me hope that the majority of people who read this are like WTF.

TREY GERRALD (25:09):
Literally.
All right, let's crown Matthew.
So Chelsey and I each have our own set ofone to five crown cards, and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

CHELSEY DONN (25:24):
The queens are tabulating.

TREY GERRALD (25:26):
Okay, are you ready?

CHELSEY DONN (25:27):
I'm ready.
Total Score

TREY GERRALD (25:34):
I really thought you might do zero.
I thought we were going to have a show for.

CHELSEY DONN (25:36):
Well, exactly.
I mean, I really want it.
We're both holding up a half crown.
I really wanted to do zero.
I don't have a zero crowns card.
I, after reading Matthew's review,I think maybe I need to make one.
Quite frankly, I, Trey's puttingback on his New Year's glasses.
I think there's no value here.
The only reason why I was even ableto muster half of a crown for Matthew was because of what you brought up.

(26:01):
I guess I roll with the coming aftermidnight to be able to utilize the machines.
I guess you can say a tip there.
I really, really, really wantedto give Matthew Zero crowns.
And if I was his grandmother, Iwould give him a spanking for sure.
I mean, not in a good way,not in like a sexual way.

(26:22):
No, a bad

TREY GERRALD (26:22):
one.

CHELSEY DONN (26:23):
A bad spanking.
Anyway, Trey, why did yougive Matthew half of a crown?

TREY GERRALD (26:29):
I did half of a crown because of that final sentence.
I do think that as a gay person, thereis an inherent sexual energy at a gym.
And so If I was a straight man and I wasreading this, then like maybe there would be some value to me to think that like, Oh, maybe I can like hook up with people.
I don't find Matthew Q to be trustworthy.

CHELSEY DONN (26:52):
Me neither.

TREY GERRALD (26:53):
So I just said half a crown because If I was similar to Matthew in morals and ethics, then maybe this would be valuable to me at that point, but it has nothing to do with Planet Fitness, there's nothing, there's no value, like, it's just, the spelling is atrocious, so, for that reason, I did half a crown.

CHELSEY DONN (27:16):
It needs to go, if we had like a Review Queen's equivalent to like Razzie's.

TREY GERRALD (27:21):
Yeah,

CHELSEY DONN (27:22):
for worst review ever, I think this would be a nominee for me.

TREY GERRALD (27:26):
I think it would be a nominee, but I do think ultimately I wouldn't want to honor Matthew any more than I have by putting him on the show.
That's true.
All right.
But in the meantime, Chelsey, we have officiallyreached the most regal portion of our show.
I'm so curious.
I would love for you to tellme, who are you inducting?
This week for

CHELSEY DONN (27:47):
My Royal Highness, I had this planned and I'm going to still do it even though one of our reviewers today made me really upset.
I'm going to make for My Royal Highness this NewYear's people who write online reviews, right?
I mean, we got to give it up for thepeople that write online reviews.
We wouldn't have a show if so meta, right?

(28:09):
But if people were not so Brave enough to atleast step forward and give us their opinions.
We would have no opinions to share.
You're doing it for free.
Obviously we've, we've had afew review queens on the show.
We've given many people high ratings in termsof their reviews, which means that constantly we're consuming these reviews that impact where we're going to go, where we're going to spend our money, all this information.

(28:33):
And I just think it's, it's.
It's overdue, Trey.
We have to induct the online review writersas our Royal Highness, don't you think?

TREY GERRALD (28:45):
It's so smart and such a great induction.
There is power in sharing truth.
Yes.
And there's fun in reading shared shadiness.
I mean, it's all about the show that we love.
Exactly.
All right, my queen.
Well, that's it.
Happy New Year's.
Happy New Year's.

(29:06):
That is another round on the R U AR Q Ferris Wheel New Year's Bash.

CHELSEY DONN (29:11):
New Year's Bash.
I love that.
Thank you for joining us today.
If you like what you heard, will you do usa special New Year's favor and tell your friends, tell your family, tell your dogs.
Tell all the people.

TREY GERRALD (29:24):
And if you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.
We would love for you to join ourmailing list to stay up to date with the goings on in the Queendom.
You can do so by joining themailing list at ReviewThatReview.
com or clicking on the show notes below.

CHELSEY DONN (29:37):
And don't forget, we want to hear from you.
Call in, tell us your New Year's resolutions.
We'll help keep you accountable.
If you forgot the number,it's 1 850 REVIEW THAT REVIEW.
Zero.
You can also follow us on all ofthe socials at The Review Queens.
I'm at ChelseyBD, and that's Chelsey with a Y.

TREY GERRALD (29:55):
And I am at Trey Gerrald.
I've just put on the seventh pairof glasses, so just under the wire.
Become a member of the Royal Court whereyou can see all seven pairs of glasses when you join our Patreon at patreon.
com slash review that review.

CHELSEY DONN (30:13):
And remember, ignore the haters this year and every year.
You are a queen!

TREY GERRALD (30:19):
Gender nonspecific New Year's bash queen.

CHELSEY DONN (30:22):
Yes.
Love it.
Bye!
Bye,

TREY GERRALD (30:25):
everyone.
Happy New Year.
Happy New

CHELSEY DONN (30:27):
Year.
Ten, nine Review That Reviewis an independent podcast.
Certain names have been redacted or changed toprotect The Guilty, executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn, with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald, with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, our cover art was designed by LogoVora, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.
I

TREY GERRALD (30:52):
mean, talk about wild and zany.
All right.
Well, did you love it?
Do you remember listening in 2021?
Are you just teeming to get backinto brand new episodes every week?
Because Chelsey and I certainly are.
On a very serious note,here we are at the very end.
How many of you are listening right now?
so much.
If you are from the bottom of me andChelsey's heart, thank you so much for your patience as we worked on pivoting the show.

(31:14):
We are so excited to debutnext week our new chapter.
Thank you for being loyal listenersand thank you for leaving a five star rating and review and see you next week.
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