Episode 56: Tattoo Salon: 1 vs. 5 Stars

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chelsey Donn (00:00):
One, Two, Three!

Trey Gerrald (00:02):
buckle my shoe.
Three, four, shut that door.

Five, Six, pick up sticks.

Seven, eight.
I'm not straight.

Nine, 10.
That's the end.

VOICEOVER (00:17):
[Theme
Song!]

hi,

hello.
Chels!
Hello listeners.
Welcome to Review That Review thepodcast dedicated to reviewing

Reviews!
We're just like Siskel and Ebert only insteadof reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

that is Chelsey Donn

And that is TreyGerrald.

and together.
We are.

VOICEOVER (01:16):
TheReviewQueens.

For access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus videos, merch discounts, and a whole lot more, truly, visit our Patreon!
All you got to do is go topatreon.com/ReviewThatReview.
Chelsey Goose!
Guess what I'm holding right here.

Oh, my goodness.
It's an Amazon package that I senta tray that maybe will be helpful.

Let's see, I'm going to open it

Oh my God.
Let's see.

This is a great plug for our, um, Patreon, if you want to watch.
Oh, I

in plastic, so fresh and so clean.

wrapping.

Oh, thank you.
can't take credit for that.
Is it soft?
So it's the, oh, I kind oflike how it's like sort of tie

dye.

I wasn't expecting that, but I

I actually really liked that,

I think I might've turned tray into a three Wolf's howling at the moon kind of guy.

it's a hundred percent cotton, so it does feel like a, like a Hanes t-shirt.

Sure.

Should I put it on

Yeah, you can.
So Trey's wearing the threewolves howling at the moon shirt.
That was, was that last week.

last week.

Wow.
Yeah.
See, thank God for Amazon.
Really on top of that, um, already.
Nice AMR.

well, I feel sexy.

Do you really.

And if you don't know what we're talking about, go back on your podcast player and listen to our three Wolf Review!
episodes.

Yes.
And then you'll be in the know.
Do you have something youwant to get off your chest?

Yes, actually, today I really have a very maddening complaint and I'm ready to.

VOICEOVER (03:07):
Lodge A Complaint.

Against button down.
T-shirts that come folded in their packaging?

Interesting.

Y.
do we fold nice button down shirts thatwe know we're going to have to iron?
Why, why they always have those metal clips?
They're like weird paperclips that like leaveindents on like The sleeves on the neck.
They always folded all weird.
Cause they make it a little square.

(03:37):
And then it's like this shirtI'm specifically purchasing.
Nice.
And wrinkle-free, it kills mewhen it's a wrinkle-free material.
And the first thing you do is you unpackage it.
You have that cardboard, you have thoseweird, like plastic things around the button.
like, yes, then sometimes there's thisrandom tissue paper and it's like, I'm fighting to get all the clips off.

(03:59):
Then they fall on the ground.
I have to pick it up from my dogs, bite it.
And then it's like, I like do thatthing where you're like to like,

sure.

what I'm talking about?
When you have a shirt
it's

like

out.
dryer?
Yeah.
You shake and it's like wrinkle to all hell.
It's like It's like the shirt was packaged sevenyears ago and it's been in some grandmas addict.
And now here I am having atit's like I'm running late.
I'm excited for my newshirt and it's all wrinkled.
There's like 900 wrinkles.
And then I have to like figure out causelike starches and on trend anymore.

(04:32):
And it's like, well, now I have to heatup my iron because a steamer is not going to get These out because these are.
like severe creases.
Do you, have you ever experienced that?
Is that like blouses?
I feel like you're usually onhangers, but like I'm buttoned down

Yeah.
I think it's not like I have, cause I have afew like nice Ralph Lauren button downs, but in the women's section, usually those are sold on hangers where I feel like in the men's section, it's more like, I don't know, I could be wrong.
Just have them all staff.

yes.
Both exist, but like, they are like folded.
I mean, I guess

No.
I know you mean,

to like ship that probably to like a store or something.
Well, that's my complaint.

Okay.
That's fair.
I hear you.

what about you?
Is there anything you.
want to complain?

Well, yeah, like in the interest of talking about time and how it feels like I have less and less of it, I might've brought this complaint up before.
I don't care.
I'm going to bring it up again.

okay.

Why do I have to talk to a robot before I talk to a human?
I would almost rather be put on hold unpopularopinion maybe, but when I call the pharmacy.

oh

Every time, like even today, I really need to call the pharmacy.
Cause there's something I need to deal with that.
Like, they didn't send me one of myprescriptions and I needed to deal with that.
But I was like, I can't call the pharmacyright now because that's like a two hour commitment because first I need to talk to a robot, convince the robot that yes, I need to speak with a pharmacist.

(06:08):
After I do that, then I wait on hold forlike an hour to talk to a pharmacist.
So it's just such a long process.
Maybe like this is kind of, I guess, specific tothe pharmacy, but really in general, it's fine.
If you're going to have one, that's liketo go to, you know, to be directed to the pharmacy press, One,, that's fine.
But I mean like I'm a robotthat can handle full sentences.

(06:31):
Please tell me what it isthat you need help with today.
Like, no.

I didn't get that.
Repeat that.

Yeah, exactly.
Representative representative representative.
I mean, how many times do I have to say it,

Did you say orange Tabby cat, if not repeated again,

It's so annoying.
So you do want to hear theprescriptions we have on file.
No, I don't.
I don't.
I don't.

today's working hours are, these are different from Tuesday, are Thursday.
We are here for that.
It's just mad.

It's so

You know, it's wild.
When I had to call the frauddepartment for that, those credit card

Oh yeah.

it, it rang like two times and then it was like a person and I was caught off

my God.
You're like, this is fraud.

I screamed.
I was like, This is a person.

I think it it's part of this culture, which I don't, I'm not going to dig into it too much because it just made me think of another complaint I want to complain about, but just the whole idea that nobody can talk to anybody anymore.
Like we can't have conversationscause we're so not used to talking.
We're used to texting, pressing one fordiff or two or three or talking to robots.

(07:44):
Siri, Alexa.
Dare.
I say those two words amongst devices.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's it.
I'm getting it off my chest.
I feel better now, but stillneed to call the pharmacy.
What am I going to find the time?
I don't know.

maybe you could do it in the background of today's episode.

Would you guys mind, would you mind if I just queue up the call?

Well, Chelsey, I am feeling really excited about going head to head.

Oh, my God.
I got scared a little bit.
I'm also excited about GO!.

Well, then let's do it

VOICEOVER (08:20):
Assess That Kvetch.

today.
Listeners is yet another.
Versus up or so, and today we are goingto cover both a one-star and a five-star Yelp review on the same subject.
Today's subject is Illuminati tattoo in Las Vegas.

That's right.
Sin city for this versus episode,Trey has selected the five star and I have selected the one star.
So to determine who readsfirst, we got to flip that.
I think you have to guess.

Okay, I'm going to say tails

Okay.

it's tails.

Woo five-star first, today.
I mean, I like going, that happens that way.

Yeah, I think so.

All right.
Today we are covering, as Trey mentioned, theLos Vegas tattoo salon Illuminati, a secret society, tattoo piercing, Coco penny company.
All right.
So presently on their website, this is how.

(09:34):
Illuminati describes their service.
They described themselves as being the best inVegas, five star reviews, one, but clock off Las Vegas, strip certified professional Las Vegas artist I'll tattoo designs and styles.
Any body piercing you wantlarge selection of body jewelry.

(09:59):
Walk-ins welcome.
Come in.
Visit with any of our professionalartists for a free tattoo quote.
There are 282 reviews forIlluminati tattoo on Yelp.
So with that background info in mind,and I'm like a little bit afraid with all the spelling issues on the website.

(10:20):
I mean, this could be a tattoo nightmare.
Okay.
Not saying I'm seeing

Your honor leading the witness.

Sorry.
Sorry.
All right.
Well we'll neutralize the space.
I'll I'll grab the Palo Santo.
All right, so let's get ready torumble for this versus battle, honey.

VOICEOVER (10:45):
Review That Review.

All right friends.
So today I am covering the five starreview from Yelp for Illuminati tattoo.
And my Review.
was written by Dave S

K, sorry.
I don't even have my ledger out.
What's wrong with

get that has led to.

I get my ledger.

And this was written three years ago, and this is a five-star review.

Okay.

My 16 year old son really wanted a tattoo and his mother and I both gave out consent.
However, when I took him to talk to atattoo artist in Los Angeles, we learned that you must be 18 to get a tattoo in California, regardless of parental.

(11:30):
So we researched some tattoo placesin Las Vegas and found Illuminati.
I called to confirm that we couldget it done there and learned we'd need IDs with matching last names.
I sat an appointment with an individualartist and when we arrived, there was some confusion because that artist wasn't working that day and there was no record of the.

Um,

I was kind of bummed initially, but Tommy stepped up and helped us out a lot, totally professional, solid information.
And he ended up doing the tattoo himself.
I don't have any tattoos, but I'm notthe kind of dad who thinks there's a reason for my son not to habitat.
It was an area.
I have little expertise in and oh, thinkTommy made it a solid experience for my son.

(12:24):
And the tattoo is great.
I'd recommend this place toanybody who wants some ink.
And this has been denoted twiceas useful and twice as cool.

Cool.
Dave.
All right.
Cool, Dave.
So I like this five star review try.
It's very interesting to me.
I think that like, you know how we have thiswhole theory about one star reviews where like you have to include something good.
And then I believe you, I'm justrealizing and hearing this Review!

(13:00):
like at first I was like, it doesn't really soundlike a five-star review, but then I was like, but I bet he's about to hit me with the compliment.
It could have turned out and I'm going to be morelikely to believe him because he was honest about the fact that they didn't have the appointment.
They didn't do whatever, but the tattooended up being good, which at the end of the day is the most important thing you want from a tattoo parlor.

(13:22):
So like good job, Dave kind of queenly move.

I know that's one of them.
Well, two reasons why I chose this.
I love the idea of like a parent.
Who's like, yeah, I don't care.
Like.
But then yes, it's the opposite ofwhat we cover so much on the show.
Like, I love that they like highlightthat it wasn't completely smooth sailings, but when you add up all the sums of the part, it's a five-star review.

So we have one spelling error and that's gave out consent.
Is that right?

And then at the end, they also say, and oh, think Tommy made at a solid experience.
I think they've been to say.

Ah, okay.
All right.
Well, I'm going to take James intoconsideration with my spelling and grammar critiques from now on.
Cause I'm going to think there's a slightpossibility that there could have been an issue.
So I think that's like that's a pass.

I have one other question.
What is your opinion on lowercase?
I lowercase D apostrophe S we learnedwe'd need IDs with matching lessons.

Uh, no.
I mean, like, I think that, that,like, that's almost like we need it.
It's like the, it, the egoand the superego, I think.
Yes.
In that case should be capital.
Okay.
All

but I still got the point.

Cool day is pretty cool.
Pretty cool dad to co-sign on the 16 year old son.
I mean, personally, I'm not a tattoo person.
Might as well got that off right out of the bat.
I'll never get one.
How about you?

I don't think I've been with two friends while they've gotten tattoos, but I just don't think I could do it like a, I don't know where I would want one.
I don't know what I would want.
Also.
I don't want to be committed tosomething the rest of my life also.
I don't think I could do the like hoursand hours of like the tiny needle.
I don't think I could do it.
Like, I don't think I have thestamina to like, withstand that.

(15:16):
That's really why I don't want One,.

I agree.
I there's so many reasons I just don't want, Icannot commit to something permanently like that.
I don't have that kind of personalityand also religious reasons, but that's.

I know, I thought of that too.

Yeah, but here's the thing I really liked.
Dave asses Review!
is kind of looking through it, just now lookingthrough my notes to see why I liked it so much.
And I think it's because there'sinformation and like a built-in referral within this review, the information of.
The IDs needing to match the last name.

(15:50):
Like maybe if I was parent like Dave and I was acool Dave, maybe I would want to know, oh, cool.
Like this is a place whereI can do this for my kid.
I just need to make sure that I have my ID orlike, I don't know, whatever it might be helping.
Maybe you have a different last name thanyour kid, and you'd have to like work a little bit harder or call them and figure out what you do, you know, in that case.

(16:13):
So I thought that that waskind of cool of cool, Dave.
I know that's not his name,but I can't call him anything.
And then I also liked that they shoutedout Tommy, Tommy obviously sort of saved the day in terms of customer service, then also took care of them and did a good job.
So if I go, I know, okay.

(16:34):
Tommy, somebody that maybe I'd want togo to, they didn't put a picture, right?

No image.
Cause that's a big question.
Am I do I do want to know wherethe son's tattoo is on the body?
I be curious, like, how detailed is it?
What is it, how long did it take?
But I do want to point out, I actually givea lot of credit to the fact that Dave cool, Dave specified that Tommy was professional with solid information because there's something in my mind, especially about a tattoo parlor off of the strip in Vegas.

(17:10):
that like you might be dealing withlots of drunk people or, you know, any breed of people on whatever.
I'm happy to know that at least when Davewas there, the people working weren't in that mindset, they were being professional, you know?
Cause I, I just feel like thatcould be very risky, especially in

Oh, yeah, it's interesting because normally, like a photo would just be an addition, but in the case of tattoo parlors specifically, I find it to be a ding.
You know, what do they say?
A photo is worth a thousandwords, especially in this case.

Uh, grade.

When I see a establishment and they have five star reviews across the board at that I wanted to say at that magnitude, but that many, you know, five star reviews.
To the point where they're overall is five, eventhough they have some one-star reviews, it makes me think maybe this establishment is giving some sort of kickback or some sort of incentive for your five star review, which might explain why.

(18:19):
This was a F a five and not a four, becauseit does feel a little bit Forry it makes me wonder, is there manipulation happening?
And I feel like there's a veryeasy way in a tattoo Review!
to prove whether or not that's true or not.
And that is include a photo,

Yeah.
I mean, I hear that.

but especially as a tip to like the business owner, because if you are going to have people do it, then at least have them take photos with your branding.
So we can see this is what'scoming out of the store.

It is interesting because this is written by the father and not the 16 year old.
But yeah, I asked, I also wish that there was.

Yeah.

Do we think it's common or fluky?
I mean, I wonder how many under 18year olds like get parental consent.
I wonder, I'm curious how often that happens.
It doesn't seem like the tattooparlor was thrown by that at all.
They talked about on the phoneand then Tommy was like, Yeah.
it's fine.
You know?

Yeah, I'm okay with that.
Not necessarily, I guess, being themost common in this sense, because the conclusion was so that the tattoo was good.
So even if you weren't in this quite thissituation, you would still leave knowing that Tommy is a good tattoo artist.

Any humor or entertainment here?

No pretty like dad.
Well, Dave keeps it nice and cool.
You know, the only thing I want to touchon again quickly, um, with common is just that, you know what we deal with in a lot of situations, just like this is that you have a huge tattoo shop, especially on the Vegas strip.
There's no guarantee you're getting Tommy.

That's true.
I think I could crown this.

I think I can crown cool.
Dave.
Let's do it.

All right.
So Chelsey and I each have our own set ofzero to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

VOICEOVER (20:06):
The Queens are Tabulating.

Interesting.
Okay.
So Trey is holding up three and a half crowns.
I'm holding up four crowns.
To be honest, I was teetering betweenfour and four and a half myself.
I decided to go with four because I, I,I kind of talked myself out of making this person a Review Queen, but I really liked that reversal of what I enjoy in the one-star review, being reflected here.

(20:35):
I took away the one crown because.
I'm a little bit suspiciousbecause I didn't get that photo.
I just wish I would've gotten that photo.
And then I think it would have taken me overthe top, but other than that good Review!
useful information specificity that I enjoyedand the unique spin on a situation that maybe somebody else might find themselves in.

(20:57):
So for that reason, I went withfour crowns, why three and a half.

Well, I think that you persuaded me cause I didn't.
I also in looking, I noticed tons of photos,but I didn't even think about it with this one.
And then I did sort of make me think, like,I there's at least half a crown taken off.
If you didn't include, like,this is an artwork, so.
I kind of want to see it for myself, butI, I actually appreciated the reversal the same as you of how we about the negative experiences, but then ultimately when you were like, this kind of feels like a four-star.

(21:30):
I agree.
I kind of think it feels like a four-star.
So I went with three and a half because I thinkit's, you know, I believe them, I think there is useful information, like you said, but I just went with three and a half because I don't know that I'll remember this and you know, a year,

Fair enough.

but good job Cole day.

Cool.
Dave, way to show up to the battle.
I got to say you put up a good fight.
Cool, Dave.

And I appreciate the cool Dave is like supportive of whatever their kid wants.
Like we should all be so as kids.

exactly.
All right.

All right.
So let's take a quick break.
And when we come back, we can hear anentirely different side of the story.

Ho ho ho ha ha.

tattoo.

Cute.

VOICEOVER (22:19):
Hold your crown.
We'll be right back.

It's game time.
And guess what?
Listeners, we have a brand new gamecreated entirely by Chelsey Donn, cello.
What are we doing?
I'm so scared.

my goodness.
I worked so hard on this Queens.
So this game is called tattoo.
R O.

Oh,

So here's the deal.
I am going to read something thatis either a tattoo or a Review!.
Trey's going to have about three secondsto decide, or we're going to have some fun playing tattoo or Review!.

Here's ed a tattoo Or is it a Review!?

Or both.
I don't know.
There's no doubt about that.
They're probably both.
Um, okay.
All right.
pickles, no ketchup,

Review!

right?
I know.
Okay.
Here we go.
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

tattoo.

I know Review!
for quest protein powder on Amazon.
It's not going to be easy.
I told you I worked hard on this.
Okay.
Here we go.

God

Moose meat.

tattoo.
I go vault.

That is a review for cryo healthcare, which didn't we do a whole one five on them.

Whoa,

Alright.
Roses are red.
My name's Dave.
This poem makes no sense microwave.

that's a tattoo.
Oh my God.
I got one.
Finally, I got a

Oh my God.
I know.
Isn't that such a crazy tattoo.
Okay.
Here we go.
More fun, little playground.

Review!

Rovio yeah.
Review!
that's the maple street playground.
staring bitch.

I hope it's a tattoo.
Oh, my God.

I know aggressive, right?

It's like those bumper stickers where you're like, okay, calm down.

Yes.
Okay.
Naughty or nice.

This could be either thing.
I'm going to say, I'm going to say Review!.

It is a reveal, but, but it was definitely planted.
Cause it could be either one.
It was a review for John, but Jews of all things.
All right.
How many more should we do?
I have like a ton.

It's up to you.
Let's do a few more and thenwe'll do the others in the AFTRA

Okay.
Don't mess with pizza.

tattoo.

That's good.
You're getting better.
There's a learning curve maybe.
Okay, bro.
I can handle my Saturday live.

Review!.

I know.
Can you believe it?

Yes.

Yes.
Just beat the devil out of it.

tattoo.
Okay.
Let's do a last one.
Do you have a big grand finale?

This place needed a new manager.

I'm just going to say tattoo.

It's a Review!, but I just thought it would be so funny if that was a tattoo.

What is that for?

Oh yeah.
That's our view for Chucky GS,

Ah,

this place data, new manager.

right.
Well, I got six listeners.
How many did you get?

really good.

Chelsey.
Those were so much harderthan I thought they would be.

I'm telling you I didn't go for the low hanging fruit.
Like my entire algorithm in Instagram will foreverbe changed and I don't even want the tattoo.
So there you

Well, that was fun.
Thanks Chelsey.
Thanks
me on that fun adventure of tattoo or Review!
is it a hot too, or is it a raw view ground?
I find out we'll hear more on our after show.

Oh, that was fun.
All right.
We're back from that fun brand newnever been seen or heard game break.
I had

have one more sound effect.

VOICEOVER (28:15):
Review That Review.

Well, now we are really back.
We are back from that brand new game break.
And if you just skipped ahead to the secondreview, you might want to rewind back.
it was, uh, it was quite a good timeand something totally different.

Yeah.
Good job Chelsey.

Thank you.
Thank you.

All right, queen.
So let's hear the flip side.
I'm nervous.
Okay.
What is this one star you.
have?

Okay.
Don't be nervous.
Try.
You're safe.
It's okay.
All right.
So this is a one-star review written by Brooke B.
Obviously we know the subject,so let's just get right into it.

Okay.

Don't believe every Review!
you see?

Oh, no.

Me and my boyfriend when to get tattoos last night, because why not?
It's Vegas anyways.
I just wanted a simple line worktattoo, no shading, no depth.
Just simply line work.
When I showed the artist who did not tell me hisname, the tattoo I wanted, he said, and I quote.

(29:28):
Oh, sweet.
I love line work tattoos like that.
Like minimalistic.
I then send him the picture of what I wanted,which printed funky because of the lighting.
So he traced it out and looked awful on the face.
When he put that Sensel on my, I madesure to tell him I wanted the eyes like how they are on my reference pictures.

(29:56):
He said, don't worry.
He can do it.
Well, this had to took about anhour, which I thought was crazy.
He kept going back for more ink and changingthe needles and whatever, and it hurt.
I'll be honest.
I was wondering what the hell he's doing thathurts so bad and feels like he's scribbling all over my arm, but I figured what do I know?

(30:24):
He's the professional.
Right.
No.
When I saw my tattoo in the mirror, finally,

Oh no.

I almost passed out because I hated it so much.
Obviously it's permanent.
I don't know.
It's funny.
I got, obviously it's permanent and beyond fixing.
So

Ooh.

I paid.
Once I got outside, I was sobbing and howugly it is how much I hated it immediately.
After getting into the Uber, I startedresearching laser tattoo removal.
And once I realized that is so out of my budget,I've decided to get a coverup from a place.

(31:12):
I know once this awful thing heals, Ijust don't know where he went wrong.
There was such a simple design.
I gave him and he just completely chewed it up.
Shit it out, then set it on fire.
Feel free to laugh at how cute my original designwas and how the cherub I ended up with looks.

(31:36):
I wanted to cry.
Okay.
And then.
She did include two photos, the original photo,which I can share with Patreon, but it's like a very, it's just an outline of a chair up like very, very minimal, like, like she was saying just the lines and it says my drawing that I wanted.

(32:01):
So simple just lines,literally, no shading at all.
And then a photo of the actual tattoo.
And then.
Uh, it says now, um, now what is this shit?
It's fates looks like an old witch and a cherubhad a love child and what's with the hair.

(32:24):
So I'll show you.
I'll tell you yesterday.
Okay.
Sharing entire screen.
Oh, I don't want to.
Oh, yeah, that's not too that first.
Hold on.
So know, I feel bad for Brooke.
She definitely didn't get what she wanted.
Okay.
So this is Brooke's original concept.

(32:45):
Can you see.

Uh, it is

So it's like,

lines.

yeah.
So it's all singular lines.
Like it does look like there'slike, yeah, it's an angel cherub.
They have like cheek, like it looks like theyhave a little bit of blush, but I can see how you could easily say, like, don't include the blush.
I don't want any shading.
It's just, it's just line.
So it's clear.
They gave a, um,

the eyeball.

yeah, it's cute.
It's cute.
And then this is what they ended up with.

Oh, no, what's up with.
this arm.
Why is the arm red

Well, maybe blood

look at the shading in the, hair.
the hair is like bangs are black.

and so bad.
You guys it's, it's so bad.
Like.
I think I was going to saving thedescription is actually pretty accurate

uh,

that it has like, uh, its face looks like an old wedge and a chair I've had a love child and was with that hair.
I mean, really like what is with the hair.
And they will say, it's funny aboutBrooke is that Brooke didn't need.

no.

She used hardly any she's one of the, you know, I feel like it's a Jen.
Um, I leaving it up.
Cause it's so funny.
I know.
Um, I know I've, you know, like genZ, the ones that are younger than us?

I think so.
Yeah.

You know how they like do this thing where they just write in lowercase letters.
I don't know if you could seethis, but Brooke's entire Review!
was written in just lowercase letters though.
Like punctuation, commas, youknow, all of that was correct.

me crazy.

Which, yeah, I know it was, it was a little bit, but it didn't drive me that crazy.
But what was, what was interestingis that the word hurt is written

all

letters, which really makes it stand out.
It's almost like there's apoet that does this, right.
That just writes in lowercase

EE Cummings.

E Cummings.
Thank you.
It's almost like an EE Cummings poet,like a long E Cummings poem, because, because everything is lowercase.
All you see is hurt when you look at it,like really stands out like a word find.

Okay.
Well, okay.
So speaking, speaking on the hurt.
So I did think it was funny, likeBrooke says, why is it hurting?
Like, why is there scribbling?
Why it feels like someone's scribbling on my arm.
Yeah.
Uh, and then obviously we both died atobviously it's permanent, but this brings up a really interesting question is like, I think the problem was the transference from onto the stensul looked weird and Brooke like, oh, maybe it got messed up a little bit, but, but the guy was like, don't worry.

(35:46):
Or the girl, I don't knowwho the tattoo person was.
They didn't
give name, which

didn't the name.

but

Yeah.
Well, the person didn't give them the name,which is, I think is very interesting.

They don't have name tags.

No.
And the person like didn't give themthe name, maybe because they didn't want them to like blow them up on Yelp.
I don't know.

Also.
I was also curious, like,you can't see how it's going.
Like you only get a reveal, like amake-over on a show like you, like in Mrs.
Doubtfire,

I mean,

and it's like, hello.

I don't know, cause I've never had a tattoo, but like I've been watching this show called tattoo redo, and it's been fascinating to me that they're hiding it, but that's because it's more of a reveal, but I can see how like, you know, they're really getting in there when they're doing their work.
Like if it was on your arm, they're kindof like on top of it with a needle and then they have like this, like they like wipe it clean every once in a while.

(36:42):
ink smears.
I can kind of see how, if somebody wasjust in there and like Brooke said she was having these thoughts, but she was sort of like, well, they're a professional, right?
Like,

Oh, my God that

And, and something that they touched on that I think is really important is the first sentence of Brooks Review!
is don't believe every Review!
you see, because I think that thissense of false security of, oh, they're the artists, they got us right.
Came from the fact that they dohave so many, five star reviews.
And if you see so many, five starreviews, you are going to kind of think, you know, maybe it is good.

(37:17):
And it sounds like this was Brooke's first tattoo.

seem that way.
Yeah.

Cause they seem very new to this whole world.
Like I know nothing abouttattoos, like literally zero.
And I know it align work tattoo isthat is not aligned work tattoo.
Like they clearly had a conversationwhere it was like wine work.
No shading looks like this.
So even if something did go wrong withthe cental and maybe that should have been the first alarm bell of like, this is not going to go the way that I want it.

(37:50):
If.
It's so basic.
It's just like such a basic trace line,

what I was going say.

like a hard skill to do.
I don't.
I think that they're the people thatare really good at these thin lines.
Tattoos that a lot of celebritiesand people like are super popular.
Dr.
Wu.
I mean like the schedule, they areflying all over the world, you know, like whatever, like it's, it's a big deal.
I'm not demeaning the art of it, but Iwill say it seems very clear what Brooklyn.

(38:20):
There's no color in her image.
It's just a black and white image and thisfinal tattoo, it's like the hair's like kind of purple-y and there's like shades of black and

but the most part to me are the white dots and the.

Yeah.

It looks like they like went too dark and then just put in white.
Like, I think that is when Brooke referenceswhat's with all the changing of the needles.
I'm assuming that's

Oh, you're right.
Oh, you're probably, yeah,it was probably the color.
You're

Well, to all of this, I do think this is seeping and value B and it is your point from before.
It's like the before and the after, that's huge.
And I just feel like I believeit because I can see the image.
So I don't even questionif it's truthful or shady.
I mean, I guess like if I was tryingto like cover all corners here, No, because even the after is like so close to the, before that, why would they lie?

(39:21):
It just seems like yikes.
Now, as far as typical, common fluke, Ihave no idea, but we're in this debate now about like, is it is simpler one line designs harder or is it easier?
I don't know, but it doesn't seem like this islike the David or like some, it's like a little angel face with two wings and like, Curly hair.

(39:44):
Like it doesn't that involved.
Like you're

And if is, if it is my point, is that it's enough of a known this review by the way, was written.
Nine months ago.
So at this point in, you know, 20, 22 or 2021,when this was written, we know this design like this, this type of style of tattoo is a very popular, it is like the in wave tattoo.

(40:11):
So if somebody comes into a tattoo shopthat is this renowned and this whatever and everything that they're saying about themselves, you would think at very least.
They would say, oh, Bobby Bobby is theone that's really good at doing the line

going to say that too, right?
Like that ease that a lot of theartists would have their specialties.

Yeah.
Cause even on the tattoo redo show that I'mwatching, like each artist that they show, they all have totally different styles.
And that's like, what's coolabout these tattoo artists.
And I would imagine that that would be what'scool about coming to one of these places is that you have all these people with different.
Skillsets and different things to offer.

(40:54):
And so when you are telling them, thisis what I want, you would think that they would be able to sway you towards going to the person that can give you what you want.
I mean, this is so not what was requested.

that's really like I'm sitting here thinking like, obviously I think I was entertained and I was laughing, but I, but like I'm debating on the, the spelling and stuff.
Cause that's a little to me, but I'm alsothinking I appreciate it because I imagined that I might kind of be like Brook where I would be like talking myself out of a conflict by being like, they know what they're doing.

(41:29):
It'll be okay.
figure it out.
They do those.
I don't know that like it does kind ofmake me think this is very queenly right?
It would really make me arm

like do.
Yeah.
It's like not like, do you specialize in this?
Do you have photos that you'vedone of like this style?

But then I also do think, like, you know, the, you know, devil's advocate here is like, obviously it is permanent.
And so like, you have to like it more thanlike offending or upsetting the artist.
Like it's going to be on you forever.
So I don't know.
Poor bruh.
Fuck.

I also feel like it's one of those things, like once the train leaves the station, you know what I mean?
And also I think the whole idea of the stencil andlike you were saying whether or not you can see it before, after as like they're using the central.
So the stencil is on top of the skin andthey're doing it like over the Stenzel.

(42:27):
You might not really know exactly what itis until they take the cents off and do the reveal and, and put the oil on or whatever they do before they send you out the door.
Like you might not actually see it, which makes merealize, I mean, Dutch palsy obviously, but why.
Dr.
Wu and celebrity tattoo artists thatliterally like one of my friend's sisters is a celebrity tattoo artists.

(42:52):
I think she does all of like HillaryDuff stuff and Hillary flies her out so that she can do her tattoo.
And I was like, wow, that's extreme, but no,it's not extreme because it's that important.
Like you have to be able to trust the personthat's doing it to be able to deliver.
1000%.
Like they have to have a home run every timebecause it's like, yeah, it's on you forever.

(43:16):
Scary stuff.

I think I can.
think I can crown Brock.
How do you feel?

I think I can Cranbrook.
Yeah.

All right.
Let's.

VOICEOVER (43:25):
The Queens are Tabulating.

Oh, wow.
Okay.
So I went with four and a half crownstray, one with a full Review Queen, which I got to say I was contemplating.
Tell us why you made Brooke B a Review Queen.
Nice constellation prize,

I don't like the use of all lowercase, but I that's my personal taste.
And that's my opinion.
That's really the negative here.
I honestly think like theimages really push it over.
I really now have a fuller sense of thatwas really lacking and the five star to give credibility, to bounce it against this.

(44:05):
One-Star-Zinger.
I just feel for Brock and I, I thinkthis is something I will remember.
I'm definitely going toremember that, which knows.
Um, why did you do four and a half?

know I was so teetering before between four and a half and five.
And I, I did take off the demeritfor the all caps, but I feel like I should change it to a Review Queen.
Cause I really feel like Brooke is so Review!
Queenie here and did everything that shewas supposed to do for the assignment.
She made me feel.
Genuinely bad for Like, and then after I felt bad,I looked at the photos and I was like, Ooh girl.

(44:42):
Like I, you know, so she was, she wastruthful and, and like made me feel something.
And then she provided the evidence.
So I'm, uh, I'm going to say, let's makeBrooke a full Review Queen signed off co-signed by both our QT and QC, because.
Good job Bruck.

(45:03):
You really brought it and I'm sorry.
And I hope, I hope it didn'tget on that show tattoo, redo,

I

and, uh, they can help you out,

I also just, I want to reiterate that like Brock, I mean, we're only getting Brooks point of view here, but Brooke doesn't slander anyone.
Brooke really treats them like the expert andyou see the, oh, I'm sorry, Brooke, but congrats.
You're a Review Queen for.

Yes.
I hope that that like makes thesting just a little bit less stingy, I hope that takes away some of the

some of the hurt
well, all of your listeners, If you haveany tattoos, call us, tell us about it.
Do you have any horror stories?
Do you have any fun stories?
Do you know anything about tattoos?
Cause we sort of are novices in that world.
So if you have anything you want to shareabout tattoos, call us, leave us a voicemail.
We'll discuss it on the show.
1 8 5 0 Review!
zero.

If you disagree, please always feel free to let us know.
So now we've heard this one staropinion of Illuminati, and we've heard this five star opinion of Illuminati.
How do we feel like would, ifwe were of the tattoo, getting persuasion, would we go to Illuminati?

(46:21):
I use the railway,

Yeah.
I mean, I would go, I just would be veryparticular and I, I will learn from Brock to be like very micromanaging because it's permanent.
What would you to,

I guess my overall feeling on it is that I think that I am right in that.
I think there's some insider incentive herefor these five-star reviews because we have so many, five star reviews that we're hiding.
These ones are reviews and.
We have that five serve you, thatfelt more like a four star review.

(46:53):
And we're leading on our website withall these five star review things.
So something smells fishyand Illuminati town to me.
And I do not think that I can trust this Yelp.
That is my takeaway.

um,

And, and that's, that's the feeling that I'm going away with, that this is not an accurate.
Representation now a 3.5 mightbe, you know, I don't think that a five-star across the board is accurate.

I get it.
Yeah.
Oh, here you

Yeah.
Yeah.

All right.
My equation, we have reached themost Regal portion of our show.
Who are you inducting today for?

All right.
We know friend of the pod, Emily Crowder,we've already nominated her before, but I love an, because she shall share like, just good content on Instagram.
When you, like, when you need a littleserotonin boost, you know, go to Emily Crowder's page and she might share something.
So one day I was going through Emily's storiesand she happens to share Mandy Patinkin Instagram.

(48:02):
Now, I don't know if do you follow Mandy Patinkin?
No, you don't.
Well, you shed because it is like, so Idon't know why it's just so comforting.
It's Mandy Patinkin.
As we know the actor, the famed actor, Broadwaymovies, all the things he shares this page with his wife, Katherine grody, and the two of them they've been married for like 45 years.

(48:30):
And their son, I guess, is involved withfilming them in these videos that are just like slice of life, them at home than being them, them being sorry, but like kind of boomers and not knowing the answers to a lot of questions or one time Catherine read this amazing segment from Anne Lamont.

(48:51):
That was just like, so poignantand Lamont wrote bird by bird.
I just think there's not enough contentout there that just makes you feel good.
It makes you feel comfortable to watch it.
And I highly recommend you get Mandy Patinkin.
I'll follow whether or not you're ahuge fan of him as an actor or not.
I just find his page to be soendearing and I have to endorse them.

(49:11):
And I will say that beyond the factthat they have these videos that are.
Heartwarming and them at home and feel veryauthentic and real, like a real relationship.
They also are pretty outspoken interms of advocacy for standing up for different charities and awareness.
Like they're really big with the IRC,um, international rescue committee and they S they curate the page really well.

(49:33):
It's a nice mix of like, it's inspiring.
It's funny.
It's boomers that, you know,don't know millennial things and.
It's just a hodgepodge of everything that Ilike when it comes to a great Instagram page.
So thanks Emily Crowder, fraternity me on to itand check it out at Mandy Patinkin on Instagram.

(49:57):
So I'm going to make you My Royal Highness,Mandy Patinkin and Catherine grody.

Wow.
No, I don't follow Mandy Patinkin,but I obviously know who he is.

Yes.

All right.
Well, that was fun.
Good.
I'm going to follow him into Patinkin andthen I'll know what you're talking about.

Yes.

All right.
Well, we did a queen that is another round on theREU, a herder head RQ Ferris wheel of that hurts.

Good try.
Thank you for joining us today.
If you like what you heard, please shareit with a friend and share it forever.

Forever and ever if he didn't like what you heard.

If you'd like to support the production of our show, please visit Review That Review dot com slash donate where even a $1 tip is so appreciated and guys just helps keep the lights on.
So let's keep the show going.
And I know a few of you have saidyou wanted that kind of offering.
So it is there now for you and wegreatly appreciate whatever you can.

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with all of the goings on and The Queens.

Hit up our voicemail box 1 8 5 0 Review!
zero.
Let us know about your tattoos,stories and anything else.
You can also follow us on allthe socials at the Review!
Queens.
I'm at Chelsey BD.

And I am at Trey Gerrald on today's after show pod, Chelsey and I are going to rate and review a five star Amazon review.
For a Guston farms, lunch and dinner, variety,pale emergency food supply, four gallon pail of it's like clam chowder or something.

oh my God.
If I was going down, I don't knowthat I'd want clam chowder, you know,

so to find out what made Chelsey say.

poop, poop, poop, poop.
And find out what made Trey say,

Oh ass oh Asperger.

then join our patreonPage@Patreon.com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast.

And remember

Ignore the haters.
You're a queen.

gender nonspecific and consumable.

Of course.

Bye

VOICEOVER (52:35):
Review That Review as an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty executive produced by TreyGerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky.
Our cover art was designed by LogoVoraand our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Mandy Patinkin and huh.

I mean, was it a left field?
I just listen.
Maybe when you start following, you'll understand.
Now you're wearing the Wolf shirt.
Maybe you're going to start feeling differently.
I don't know.

I thought you were going to do that tattoo thing.
So that really threw bait.
I was like Mandy

I was, let's get to the tattoo redo, but they don't know anything about tattoos.
So I didn't feel like I should, co-signa tattoo or redo show that people seem to have problems with the actual word.

Oh,

And last minute I just thought, well, I have been spending a lot of time lately on Mandy Instagram.
So I might as well give Mandyand, and, uh, his wife credit

And sun,

and son.
Yeah.
Well, you know, it's a decisionthat I made and now it's permanent.

I love that you did.
I just literally was like, how is she going toget to this tattoo show by talking about Emily

Emily Crowder.

And then it was like Mandy Patinkin.
And I was like, what?

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