Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell whoto trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsea will help you choose.
Whose views win?
Which ones lose?
Online haters are coming for you.
(00:24):
Baby, it's time to review the reviews!
All right.
Welcome back to our coverageof the Yelp reviews for Speed
Dating for New York Minute.
Okay.
In part one, we heard the one star review.
And now as we've been teasing,we are going to hear the
(00:46):
other side of the coin here.
Try.
Now we're going to hear the five star.
Yes.
But before we do, Chelsea, I think it'stime that we take a quick little spin.
On the Meryl go round.
Let's do it.
I don't feel like anicon as I feel like icon.
(01:09):
That's with an A.
Alright, here's the deal.
Trey and I have each picked a rotten,scathing, pithy one star zinger and
with 30 seconds on the clock we'lltake turns trying to recite the
zinger in as many genres as possible.
Just like Queen MerylStreep, who does it all.
Before the clock runs out,
(01:32):
all right, I try you go first.
You want me to go first?
Yes.
All right.
So in honor of the love theme,I found this one star walmart.
com review for a Jessica Simpsonperfume called fancy love.
(01:54):
Fancy love.
No idea.
Okay.
Um, and this is not, um, Amazon customer.
This is Walmart customer.
They don't want to self identify.
Now their, their, um, subject is,it's a no for me, doesn't smell right.
But their review is, itsmells like hairspray.
(02:20):
Okay.
Okay.
That was so funny.
Um, I'm going to strap you into thatgiant can of hairspray from like
Hairspray the Musical where they likebring them in like a Trojan horse.
Mm hmm.
You know what I'm talking about?
Of course I do.
Okay.
So that's what you're strapped in on.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
Three, two, one.
(02:43):
Shakespeare.
It smells like a hairspray.
Adult film.
Smells like hairspray.
TLC reality.
Smells like hairspray.
Disaster.
It smells like hairspray.
Devil Evangelist.
It smells like a hairspray, Jesus Christ.
(03:07):
Disney.
Oh, she's got a secure spoon!
Magic show!
Secure spoon!
Okay, I'll give it to you.
You gave us a visual.
Thank you.
That was really good.
All right, you got one, two,
seven!
D. Va, very good!
Thank you.
(03:28):
Amazing job.
Okay.
My one star zinger, I decided to explorethe LA side of speed dating and my
one star zinger and I found a companycalled The three day rule matchmaking.
This is a one star Yelp reviewthat is written by Cynthia S And
(03:48):
the review is quite succinct.
Terrible.
Oh, wow.
They don't hold back.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Are you ready?
Melodrama.
(04:10):
Disc jockey.
This is a terrible.
Opera diva.
True crime doc.
Terrible.
Magic show.
Terrible!
Yankee.
Terrible!
Lifetime.
Terrible!
(04:30):
Spy.
Terrible.
Lime.
WWE.
Terrible!
2, 4, 6, 8. Ten!
Woo!
I'm terrible.
I only had one word.
But still, you had the clarity of mind.
Aw, thank you.
(04:51):
Good job!
Thank you.
You really did it.
Oh my goodness.
I can't believe it.
Well, I am so excited to hear this fivestar review because I obviously have
my opinions about New York Minute, andI want to see if you can sway them.
So, to start us off.
Yeah, let's, let's take alittle gander over here.
So.
(05:11):
Today, I have this five starwritten by Elizabeth C, who
lives in Brooklyn, New York.
Brooklyn in the house.
And here we go.
I won't use NY Minute dating servicesanymore because I already found my
Mr. Right through one of their events.
(05:34):
I recommend their speed datingevents and their singles cruises
to all of my friends all the time.
Some of my friends have mettheir significant others
through these events, too.
They really do work.
I had attended three past events.
One was a speed dating event onValentine's Day in 2012 at a venue called
(05:58):
Slate on 21st Street and 5th Avenue.
The second speed dating event wasat the DL. on Delancey Street.
My final event was nota speed dating event.
It was one of their singles cruisearound Manhattan on March 26th, 2013.
(06:25):
Great drinks.
Great music.
Great people.
Parentheses.
I made lots of new friends that night.
And I met my B. F. that night there.
Highly recommend.
OK, so by cruise, do wemean the Circle Line?
(06:50):
You were waiting on that.
It's their single.
She's dying at herself.
I
mean, it's gotta be the Circle Line.
Oh my God.
Sorry.
I
used to live right nearthe Circle Line, so.
(07:11):
So
that is the review.
Okay.
I thought you had something else to say.
Okay.
So this feels a littlesaccharine to me, Trey.
Um, I have my thoughts on this.
I don't know that thisis an authentic review.
(07:33):
I shouldn't be so accusatory right outof the gate because maybe there is a
world in which this is Elizabeth C'struthful experience, but something just
smells fishy because I feel like thewhole review was like, uh, Just an ad.
It was like, I met my husbandand started my friends.
(07:53):
You know what?
I gave it three times.
One said Slate, which I love, by the way.
On 21st he used to go toacting school right next door.
Love Slate.
It's great.
Once was that sling, one wasdowntown, and the third was the big
one, the cruise around Manhattan.
Um, it just felt very sales pitchy to me.
I, I see that read on it.
(08:14):
Like, it's interesting to mebecause all of the specifics
feel a little unnecessary.
Like, I don't need to know that it was atthe DL or whatever, like, that's weird.
But I actually appreciated, like,it was actually the singles cruise.
That's not the circle line that likeprofitable for me, but right now that
(08:41):
you mentioned that I am sort of like, Oh,
I'm sure that's like the mostexpensive event, you know?
So I don't know.
It feels a little odd.
I agree with you.
I also think the specifics thatthey gave, I wish they had spoken
more about their significant other.
I wish they had been like, I metthem and like, this was, I don't
know, just like gotten more into.
(09:02):
Yeah.
What they were both doing there and howthey met and why they were such a good
match and just like something to makeme feel like this relationship is real.
So that was written April 22nd, 2015.
Okay.
On December 2nd, 2018.
So three years later.
We get an updated review.
(09:24):
Oh God,
okay.
I got engaged over the summer!
My fiancé and I met atan minute dating event.
I couldn't be happier.
I wrote an email directly to Jen atthe company and she wrote me such
(09:47):
a nice email congratulating us.
I didn't know if she would remember mesince it's been a few years since I last
attended one of their events, but she did.
They offered to pay for our weddingpictures slash video as a gift.
(10:07):
How sweet is that?
They're really amazing people.
Okay, now I'm even moreconvinced that this is fake.
Or, and, or, and, or, coerced,like, extremely coerced.
Really?
(10:28):
Yes, Trey.
They're paying for their photo, like,it's just like, okay, so, if I meet my
significant other on your thing, thenyou're gonna pay for my wedding photos.
Like, it just feels so I don't believe it.
You sent me a pictureof the engagement ring.
I mean, it, it, it could be Elizabeth
has also attached a photo, soyou'll see it up on the screen now.
(10:52):
Am I just like a total cynicbecause I'm single and I just like.
Don't want to believe that this is true.
Maybe I don't know butI also feel like it.
It's just like
too Complimentary,
but maybe that's just
the verbose way that Elizabeth speaks
(11:15):
It could be it could be um, all rightthe spelling and grammar Was fine,
right?
Like is there is there anyunique valuable information?
I would say if you see a photo of anengagement ring in a review of this thing,
then that's probably going to be valuable.
(11:35):
If we look a little deeper,are we starting to question?
But if this
is the same company that has actors andstand ins, I feel like it's pretty easy
to find, like Literally, you can justGoogle a picture of an engagement ring.
Touche.
Thank you.
I have several for drag.
Uh, that's right.
That could
be your hand.
This looks like, how dare you,I have much prettier fingers.
(11:56):
No offense, Elizabeth, that was a joke.
Okay.
Um, okay.
Yeah.
Spelling
grammar is fine.
Like, there's not reallyanything to talk about.
Right.
And then obviously been going back and
forth on the truthful shady.
The shady scale is high forme, but maybe I'm a cynic.
Well, it's funny because Ididn't get that read on the first
(12:17):
one,
like at all, except I was like, whyis she saying like the restaurant?
Like this is so weird.
Yeah.
But when you started putting out,I was like, Oh, but then it is sort
of like, Oh, I totally buy that.
Right.
And then I'm also like, it's so valuable.
I know how valuable it wouldbe to have a engagement ring.
(12:39):
Totally.
Review.
Right.
You mean like it'svaluable for the company.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
I mean, there must be, at very least,there's like, a big incentive, like,
if you write us a review, and like,you've met here, we will pay for
your, you know, like, there's gottabe We'll pick your wedding pictures.
(13:01):
Exactly.
I was like, I thought she was gonnasay they paid for the frickin wedding.
I know, I thought I wasgonna say that at first, too.
Like what?
Okay.
Yeah.
So do we think that this is common?
I mean, you were in the five star world.
Did you come across other engagements?
To be fair, there weren'tthat many to pick from.
(13:21):
Okay.
Just full disclosure.
Sure.
And um, the ones that were, weresort of like, you know, they
were like cynically, you know,
Realistic that it's like a crapshoot.
I mean, no matter how you goabout dating, no matter what the
convention is that you put around it.
It's like, you know,
(13:42):
yeah, I think that's it.
I think I wish there was a littlebit more of that in like that
groundedness in the reviewer.
It was like I had the hardest time dating.
I had the hardest time.
Like, give me something.
Give me something.
Give me story.
Okay.
All right.
So I feel
that to like something.
I don't know why, but something doesn't.
(14:03):
I don't like Elizabeth.
Like, if it was that easy,
you, like, you wouldn'teven need the speed dating.
Like, I don't know.
It's like, give me alittle drama, Elizabeth.
I want more.
But sometimes people don'thave any drama in their life.
How is that possible, Trey?
I don't know, but sometimespeople just f ing go to a singles
cruise and they f ing get engaged.
I guess.
But then I, even more so.
(14:25):
Think that Elizabeth is the anomaly.
Were we humored?
I was humored by the circle line.
I thought
you were going to sayElizabeth is the devil.
I don't know why I thoughtthat's what you were going
to say.
No, I don't think that they're the devil.
I think they might be Jen.
Oh, really?
Maybe.
(14:47):
Well, Jen, let us know.
Was it
you?
Defend yourself.
Humor, entertained.
I told you I was entertained by the circleline, but I'm entertained by the idea
of calling something a cruise that isjust like a little like dip rum and hat.
Oh, but like so many companies do that.
I know.
I know.
I don't know how entertained I am.
(15:09):
My whole perspective has beenshifted from this conversation.
So that is entertaining.
Okay.
Interesting.
Yes.
Okay.
So the impact, do you feel like ifyou are just looking at Chrissy and
Elizabeth C comparing their reviews?
Do you think it's worthit to go to this company?
(15:30):
You know, maybe this is the proofof concept on this, these versus
episodes because I literally came intotoday being like, there's no denying
the, it's like a engagement ring.
Like that's what you want.
But I feel so influenced by Chris seeson star that I'm like, let me go back
(15:50):
and look at these other 64 reviews.
Because I don't, I don't know.
I feel like the truth always landsa little in the middle, but I, where
Chris C had so many meticulous pointsabout X, Y, and Z could be fact
(16:10):
checked or exaggerate, whatever.
We don't get much of anythingfrom our five star, which may
be like the proof, you know, apicture's worth a thousand words.
But even the fact that the handisn't like with the man or like
maybe you don't want to put hisface on but it's like, I don't know.
(16:31):
I really feel completely differentthan how I thought I would at
this coming into this episode.
Alright,
well I think you should thinkabout that while we crown.
Should we do it?
Yeah, let's do it.
Okay.
Okay.
The queens
are tabulating.
Time
for school.
Okay, I'm holding up two crowns.
(16:51):
Trey's holding up three and a half crowns.
I'll go first.
I just don't believe them.
I think that maybe I'm a total cynic andthat's where the two crowns came from
because I could be totally wrong andElizabeth C maybe really did, you're the
one in a million and you met your person.
It's totally possible that it could havehappened, but because I didn't have any
gravitas there, I didn't have anythingelse to really balance out the review.
(17:15):
It felt really saccharine to me andbecause of that, I could only give you
two crowns, but Trey gave you threeand a half, so why'd you do that?
Just because.
In the details, Elizabeth pointsout they took the cruise in March
of 2013, they leave a review inApril of 2015, and then they show
(17:41):
the engagement of December of 2018.
So there's a long enough, I mean, Idon't know, the whole timeline of this
Yelp review section is confusing to me.
Yes.
With when Jen chooses to reply.
It's like.
Also, it's worth nothing, but there is areply from the owner that's literally, Hi
(18:05):
Elizabeth, thank you very much for sharingyour experience with the Yelp community.
Like that's your reply to someonewho has an engagement ring photo?
Weird, weird.
Especially considering how passionatewe were about our last reply
and when you like offered to payfor their pictures and videos
Like you just wrote one sentence,
(18:25):
right?
Something's odd Yeah,
I don't know I don't thinkI'm gonna use this company,
sorry I don't know guys if you have beento any of these events Let us know in the
comments Are there any like speed datingorganizations that you do recommend?
(18:48):
Let us know in the commentsbecause I feel like
what makes a good speed dating event.
Oh,
asking our audience.
I think being clumped into groupsbased on your favorite diva.
I think so.
I think that was a great idea.
Okay.
Someone should take note of that.
Watch that's going to become likethe next million dollar idea.
(19:10):
Right.
Better be patented by us.
We have so many patentshere on Review That Review.
All right.
Well, that was super fun.
I'm glad that we did that.
I feel thank you again,Taylor, for the suggestion.
I feel like it was a good one.
I think this was fertile soil,and I'm really glad we did this.
Love you, Queens.
Keep your crowns up.
(19:31):
We'll see you on Wednesdayfor an entirely new topic.
I wonder what it will be.
Hmm, so curious.
So curious.
That's my beard.
And please like, comment, subscribe,share, do all the things, do the big one.
It's free for you.
It's so meaningful to us.
So meaningful.
Thank you so much for being here.
Love you.
See you soon.
Love you,
Queens.
(19:51):
Bye.
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Arc vetch line is open 247 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.
(20:13):
Don't be a ogana.
Call the kvetch line today.
Ah, so fun.
Honestly, I'm so glad I don'thave to do a speed dating event
'cause you're married.
Some of us might need toactually go on speed date.
I just think that even if Iwas single, that is not the
(20:34):
environment for me to thrive in.
It seems like very stressful, likeit's just too, but also maybe it's good
because if it's speed dating and I'm like,this is awkward, it's thank you next.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Something about that.
Just how does anyone, what if we did a
review, like a reviewqueen's speed dating?
What would that
(20:54):
be?
Okay, so it'd be like, you'd be loopedtogether by your favorite review platform.
Oh, yes.
That sounds good.
And you would talk about, maybe youwould share like a favorite review
and see if you like get along basedon your decided humor about reviews.
(21:14):
The Kleenex review.
The Kleenex review.
That we both brought
in.
We did.
We did.
I re listened to that episode recently.
If you haven't listenedto it, it's a winner.
It's from the first Thanksgiving episode.
All right.
Queens.
We love you guys.
We love you.
See you soon.
Bye.
Thanks
(21:38):
for watching Queens.
Click here to subscribe andclick here for more videos.