PART TWO - YouTube: 1 vs 5 Stars - Review That Review with Chelsey and Trey

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
VOICEOVER (00:01):
Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score., Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Whose views win which ones lose, Online haters are coming for you, Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

CHELSEY DONN (00:31):
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Welcome back listeners.
Welcome back, Royal Squad.
We're here.
We told you we'd be here and here we are.

TREY GERRALD (00:41):
Yes, indeed.
Welcome back to our coverage of theApple App Store reviews for YouTube.
So in part one, we heard Chelsea'sfive star review from Namaste Scott.
Namaste.
But
before we get started, We cover that opposite end of the spectrum.
It's game time!

(01:03):
And Chelsey, it's time for us to takea little spin on the Meryl Go Round.

I don't feel the days I feel like I can't.
That's with an A.
Okay, here's the deal.
Trey and I have each picked a rotten,scathing, pithy One Star Zinger.
And with 30 seconds on the clock,we'll take turns trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.

Just like Queen Meryl Streep, who does it all?

Before the clock runs out.
All right, Trey, you'regonna, you're gonna go first.

Okay.
So I just stayed on theme and I founda another one star review on the Apple App Store for good old YouTube.
Now this one is written bya user named The Gamer Has.
Mm.
Okay.
And, um, the subject here isInstagram better and TikTok is better.

(02:04):
Mm.
And the one star zinger is Dash.
Now, that is not spelled out.
It's not d it's just a,

it's just literally a dash mark.
And that's the whole review.
, I'm gonna expect so much theatricsfrom you, Trey, I'm just warning you.
Alright.
I'm gonna strap you in.
To a dash.
Why not?
Um, Stacey Dash, don't,don't take my name anywhere.
No, that was Stacey's mom to Stacey Dash.
Stacy's mom, I'm gonna just driveyou into Stacey's mom, okay?

(02:41):
Okay.
Um, our, she's

a lovely woman.

She's a lovely woman.
She's got it going on.
Okay, are you ready, Queen?

I'm ready.
Are you?
Because this might go fast.

I'm ready.
I got my fingers ready.

Not saying anything, but I'm just saying.
Okay.
Yeah, here we go.

Yeah, sure.
Here we go.
Shakespeare, Dasha, adult film, Dasha,PLC reality, Dasha, disaster, Dasha,

televangelist, Dasha,
Disney, Oh, gosh!
Magic Show, Horror,
Breaking News,

Dash, Melodrama, That has got to be a show first.
That has got to be a show.
That's insane.
Two.
Ten.
Ten, Trey.
That is definitely a show first.
We've never done ten.
Have we?
We've never done ten.
I feel like we've never done seven.
We've done eight.
I think we've done eight.

Oh, yeah.

I think I've done eight, but never ten.
Well,

Quinn,

you've really set me up

here.
Here we go.
Let's see.
Let's see how we do.
Chelsey.
What is your zinger for today?

Okay, so my zinger for today, I also, of course, went in a similar vein, but I, I chose instead to do Making YouTube Videos for Dummies Junior Edition, Starring Your Own Videos.
This is a one star reviewwritten by Scarlet Kitchen.
The title of the review is Useless,Save Your Money and Wing It.

(04:25):
And Scarlet's review is Didn't Use It All All.

Okay.
That's it.
Well, I am gonna strap you into ablender since it's Scarlet Kitchen.
No!
Don't blend
me up!
Please!
Please, leave me.
Okay.
You feel ready?
I'm ready.
Here we go.
Opera Diva, Didn't use itall, True Crime Documentary,

Didn't use it all, all,

Yankee, Didn't

use it

all, all, Magic Show, Didn't use it all,
all,
Melodrama,
Didn't use it all, all,
Disc Jockey, Didn't use it all, all, let's see.
Didn't use it all,

VOICEOVER (05:14):
all, didn't use it all, all, didn't use it
all, all, that's all,

that's

VOICEOVER (05:22):
all,
all,

that's
all, all, okay, I'm proud of that, thatwas, that was a decent performance,
wait, two, four,

six, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,

Nine.
Nine.
I was going very fast.

Six, seven, eight, nine.
Yeah.
Wow,

Trey, we're just breaking records all over the place here.

Wow, we're meant to be in front of the cameras.
Look at us.

I don't know if my life, my lifetime is a little bit of a cheat.
I don't feel like I fullycommitted, but I'll take it.
All right, Trey, you're

the winner.
Committed on lifetime.

I don't feel like I fully committed on lifetime.
I don't know what I could have done differently.
You think

they're fully committed on lifetime.

So maybe I did it right by virtue of doing it wrong.
Okay.
Great.
Thanks.

Should we jump back into YouTube?

Let's do

it.
Okay.
All right.
So this one is interesting.
So today I have a one star app store reviewfor YouTube written by, I'm going to say their whole username, cause it's not their name.
It's Nate space click, whichmakes me think of like click,

click,

click,

click that Adam Sandler movie.
Click.

I'm thinking of like mouse clicks, but yes, Adam Sandler too.
Okay, here we go.
So, subject is, I'm out, parentheses, update.
Here we go.
I don't see any reason to returnuntil competition either eliminates this app or makes this app better.

(06:58):
Why open an app I don't enjoy?
Better yet, why open a catalog of informationthat has NOTHING to do with interests?
Am I really giving up this much data just tosee your horrendous child oriented content?

(07:22):
Neil Mohan has destroyed thisapp, and I am confident in saying This empire is slowly collapsing,
asterisk update, asterisk, I'm feelingbetter without this app in my life, but can't help to reflect and wonder why this app had to go downhill to begin with.

(07:49):
What a shame, still waiting for the nextalternative to take over mainstream, Asterisk, asterisk, update, update, asterisk, asterisk, An extremely small amount of the positive reviews for YouTube are fake, dot, dot, An overwhelming majority of the negative reviews are real, Dot, dot, dot.

(08:15):
This is why this app is going to ultimately fail.
You can't hide the truth forever.
Asterick, asterick, asterick.
Updated, update, update.
Asterick, asterick, asterick.
Isn't it funny?
All of the real reviews are talking about me.

(08:36):
How bad the ads are, It shouldn't be too muchto ask for, To be able to put the phone down and listen to a video, Without having to worry about every couple minutes, Getting a four minute long, Parentheses, or longer, Who remembers those?

(08:56):
Multi hour long ads that were meant to takeadvantage of people who aren't physically able to skip the ad?, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, end parenthesis, dot, dot, dot.
Goodbye, YouTube.
You screwed up when you made Neil CEO.

(09:18):
Wow, this person

really

does not like Neil.
Right?
Who even knows who the CEO of YouTube is.
I don't

know what's going on.
Also.
Okay.
So here's my, here are my feelings.
First of all, update, update, update, update,update, update, update, update, update.

And the updates match the amount of asterisks that he cushioned it inside of.

I mean,

out of control,

out of control, too many updates.
We get the point.
We get the point, Nate.
Click, click away.
Okay.
Nate Click, you called yourselfNate Click, you can't click?
Click off?
Yep.
Why'd you, why'd you make that your name?
That's kind of weird for someonethat is not wanting to click, Nate

Click.
Move on.

Right?
Your name should be Nate Don't Wanna Click.

Yeah, it's interesting to me that the first update is like, you know, I'm feeling better without this app in my life.
And then we have two moreupdates about how it's terrible.
I'm like, wait, what?

It's a little bit unhinged.
Okay, so The first part of the review confusedme a little bit because it was talking about like a lack of catalog, which I find laughable because as you mentioned at the top of the show, there are so many videos on this platform and there's literally a video on YouTube for everyone in every genre you could possibly imagine.

(10:39):
If you want You're, I can guarantee you willfind something that fits your personal algorithm.
So I originally found that suspicious asa complaint because I was like, what do you mean like you're not finding content?
On the app or it's just for kids.
I don't think that that's true.
I think that there are things forkids, but I don't think it's all, you know, just for kids or I don't know.

(11:03):
That was kind of weird to me.
That made me immediately start to not trust Neil.
Then we started getting into theplethora of update and we really started to hone in on the ad complaint.

Which is an overwhelming conversation.

An overwhelming conversation.
Like I said, there were even five starreviews that had five star quote unquote experiences that still mention the ads.
I don't know how I feel about it.
Like, aren't, aren't we at a place in life,correct me if you disagree, where if we're getting free content, we kind of expect ads at this point.

(11:46):
Like we used to have cable shows wherewe would have to watch commercials.
Don't we expect that we should have to watchsome sort of ad, like you can pay to get ad free.

But that's a big sticking point in the one star reviews is that they're forcing our hand by making us pay because there's this monopoly.

I mean, but somebody, I guess, like has to, I don't know.
I don't know if I disagree with the ad model.
I mean, yes, I think it's annoying whenyou watch a video and it used to be like, oh, it's three seconds and now they have these long ones if you don't press skip.
And I
do think that that's annoying.
But I also kind of get it.
Like I'm not paying for this service.
It's something that I'm doing for free.

(12:29):
If it bothers me that much,

there's an alternative option.

There is an option for me.
So I don't know.

I mean, I think that that's something that's very common in this unhinged one star is that clearly if you just go and scroll at the most critical reviews, It is overwhelming.
There's a lot of feeling about too much reviews.
Too many of them.
They last too long.
They occur too often.
So there's like, that's a typical experience.

(13:02):
It's so like, what?
We're reading a one star review about YouTube.
What?
Like, it kind of raises this, like, areyou a disgruntled employee that got fired?
Why do you know so much about this?
Why CEO?
Yeah,

you're right.
I don't know, I can't tell if thisperson's just unhinged or if it's an inside job, but I don't know.

But a lot of these one stars do mention, like, why is there not, like, why has there not been a big competitor, which is interesting, right?
Like, well, hello, Shark Tank.
Um, Spelling grammar here also I just wantto quickly say is like generally it's okay but there are some instances where like they aren't doing capitals like it's neither here nor there you get the point you can read it but um I feel like they're like kind of shady I think it's shady too it's just a little like oh to your point originally about the content like you Isn't that just your algorithm?

(13:56):
Like you have to train youralgorithm a little bit.
Like does, does like a niece or nephewor like, does Neil, Nate have kids?
Like, is there someone elsewatching stuff on their account?
Therefore you're getting allthese kid oriented things.
Like

engaging

with the app and you'll get the catalog of stuff you want to say.
Like

who hurt you?
I don't understand.
Something, something's like a little off.

And the whole, like, there is a lot of Doth protesting too much about, Goodbye, YouTube, I'm leaving YouTube, I'm feeling much better without YouTube.
And then it's like, Hello

again, here I am.

And even if you did delete YouTube and you're not using it, Then get off of the App Store and leave reviews for it.
Like, if you're gonna leave it, leave it.

Like an extra, like, why are you so obsessed with me?
Like,

why are you

so obsessed with me?
You're only

hurting yourself, baby.

Exactly.
Babe, let it go.
We don't need the update.
This would have been finewithout the additional updates.
We didn't need it.
It didn't add anything.

Well, so like there, so like, what's the value here?

I mean, I don't think that there is that much value other than like what you can read in any other review in the app store, which is that they're ads.
Okay, great.
Moving on.

And then what about all these claims about, like, the fake reviews?

Weird, and like, I don't, I don't even understand what they're saying, because the statistics are very odd.
It was like, thank you for bringingthat up, it said a very small amount of five star reviews, extremely small amount of the five star reviews are fake.
Okay, who cares?
It's not like they said the vastmajority of five star reviews are fake.

(15:29):
A very small amount?
That's, that's marginal.
Who cares?
Who cares?

I'm just, I'm like, I'm not following.
I feel like, I feel like somethingelse is going on for Nate.
I think

something's happening for Nate.
I'm getting like a vibe of like, I don'twant to like make, minimize it, but that there's, there's a problem in Nate's life and they're taking it out on YouTube.
Not literally like by putting a vlog, butthey're taking it out on the app store.

Which, like, the impact here, like, is this going to keep me from downloading it, and No.
No?
And I don't even understand there are a lot ofads, and like, if there are fake reviews, like, maybe that is happening, but like, they don't really support the claim in any impactful way.
And also, they're just

hurting themselves.

It feels, yeah, like, if it's bad for you, then leave.
Yeah, I agree.
You want to crown Nate?
I can crown Nate.
All right, let's do it.
The queens are tabulating.
Total score.

Okay, I'm holding up a half crown.
Trey's holding up one crown.
I'll go first.
I threw them a half crown for the ads comment.
I really think that most of what else,whatever else is in here on the updates, the updates and the information about the reviews that was very strange and the connection to the CEO is sort of neither here nor there.
It's not really giving me any value as we stated.

(16:49):
So half crown.
Why did you go for the full crown?

Literally the same reasons I just said a full crown.
I could have said half as well.
I just, even the subject is I'mout, but you're leaving the review.
Like, so then I'm just sort of like, it's afull crown for me because I, the points that are sprinkled on there, I actually understand and I get them, but I do feel like, what?

(17:14):
Like, It's a little incoherent, andlike, all over the place, so like, this is not more than a crown for me, no.

Yeah, I agree.
It is kind of funny though, it is, it'sfunny, with like all of the updates.
Because it's unhinged,

yeah.
And

the fact that you're right, that the subject is, I'm out, and then it's, I'm out, updated, like even that as a title, is kind of funny.

It is kind of funny.

Yeah.

Alright, so then here, right here at the end of part two, based on Namaste Scott and Nate Click, where, what are you, where are you in comparing the two ends?

I think that like it's probably not a full five star experience in the sense of the ads are there, but I would say my overall for like a YouTube score is probably like four and a half crowns, nearly a queen, if not a queen on most days, like I've been there where I'm just doing laundry in the background and I don't want to press skip and that is annoying.

(18:13):
So I want to just give that to,I just want to give that to Nate.
Subs But other than that, I really, like,would much rather sit down and have a green juice or something very healthy with Namaste

Scott.

Wow, my brain.
I'd rather have a green juice withNamaste Scott and hang out with him and be, like, healthy and go for a walk than, than hang out with Nate Click any day.

Yeah, I mean, I'm very biased here because I only consume YouTube.
We don't pay for cable anymore.
I barely watch Netflix.
I can't be bothered.
Everything is YouTube.
I've still not purchased premium,even though I kind of want to, and I also kind of want to get YouTube TV.
Subs Based on these two reviews,there's dark energy around Nate.

(18:59):
There's very positive energy around Scott.
So

it is interesting how we went so polar opposite there with the namaste and the good vibes and the, the cloud.
I'm out.
That is Nate.
I'm out.
Updated.
Um, I

think it just highlights, like you get from the world what, what you put into it.
And, um, I think like it's diverseenough to have either impact, but like, I would still be interested in trying it.

I mean, trying it.
We're on it, baby.
Here we are.
All right, listeners.
All right, Royal Squad.
If you agree, if you disagree,please leave a comment down below.
Let us know what you think of Namaste Scott.
What you think of BuzzkillNateClick.
Let us know if you agree with us.
Let us know if you beat Treyin the game in part one.
All the things.

(19:53):
Thank you for being here today, listen,subscribe, comment, review us, do all the things, we appreciate you.
All the

things.
And if you want more and you wantmore exclusive content, just a reminder, go over, join our Patreon.
You can do that at reviewthatreview.
com slash Patreon.
We love you guys.
Love you.
Stay queenly.
Until Bye.
Queens next week, Ky.

See you

later.
Later.
Keep

your crowns up.
Keep your crowns up.
Queens love you.

VOICEOVER (20:23):
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Follow us on all the socials at the review queensand join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com.
Arc vetch line is open 247 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.
Don't be a ana.

(20:44):
Call the kvetch line today.
Hey.

Oh my goodness.
Trey Hat.
Hat on.
Hat on hat.
Talk about a hat.
On a hat.
Betcha.
Buy our merch.

Buy our merch and um, go buy YouTube premium and give me your password, . Just kidding, I didn't say that.

Love you.

Love you guys, bye.

Bye!

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}PART TWO - YouTube: 1 vs 5 Stars