EP10: Uncovering the Inner GPS

Alicia is on fire, using metaphors left and right to describe the nearly continuous flow of insights she's experiencing. With Rohini relating this understanding to Alicia's pre-established worldview (Christianity), Alicia can see clearly the power of letting God -- or the intelligence behind life -- take over in times of distress (and any time really) instead of relying on the intellect and her previous tendency to overthink.

One can feel Alicia buzzing with inspiration, relief, and a feeling of open-heartedness. It's such a relief to learn we don't have to control everything because in reality we can't control anything! She can see how her deepened understanding will help her in her relationship with Mateo, but also her relationships with others and perhaps most importantly, her relationship with herself.

This magical Rohini-Alicia session has Angus feeling a bit competitive, but mainly he's glad to hear about Alicia's big shift. When he suggests Rohini do a victory dance, she gently reminds him that couple's intensives are not a competition.

This episode explores:

• Resignation vs. acceptance
• Communicating from empathy rather than righteousness
• Understanding has a vast ripple effect
• Listening to our common sense is very practical, and yet it provides a powerful and comprehensive compass for navigating life
• Wisdom is infinite
• We can't undo a jump in consciousness - we will slip, but we can't un-see new insight
• Pressure and performance don't make very good bedfellows
• Increased resilience when in a place of presence
• Letting go of control is not a passive activity -- it's an active listening to inner promptings and letting them be the guide.

Show notes
The Uncomfortable seat: we learn that for episode 10's recording, Rohini has taken one for the team and sat in the uncomfortable seat -- not metaphorically, but physically and literally.
Jesus Take the Wheel: The prompting for one of Alicia's insights, and also a lyric from Carrie Underwood's country-western hit as Angus points out.
Click moment: Alicia's preferred term for insight.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 10 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: [e-mail]
To leave questions and comments for Ask Anything Episodes Call: [phone]

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode Transcript

Angus Ross (00:03):
Welcome to Rewilding Love. This season is with a
couple on the brink of divorce.

Rohini Ross (00:11):
This is episode number 10. Uncovering the inner
GPS

Angus Ross (00:17):
Five minutes, I was back loving my wife again and
worshiping the ground that shewalks upon five minutes earlier,
I was wishing the ground wouldswallow her up and take her into
the depths of hell never be seenagain.

Alicia (00:28):
No one has the power over me to make me feel certain
way.

Rohini Ross (00:32):
If you can see that, that's life changing.

Angus Ross (00:35):
What if we could somehow find a way to make you
poke proof?

Mateo (00:39):
I just rather not get poked.

Angus Ross (00:41):
Pressure and performance don't make very good
bedfellows. Do they?

Alicia (00:44):
Like having like a navigation system?

Rohini Ross (00:46):
Exactly. I love that! GPS!

Angus Ross (00:48):
What I've heard from it thus far that she's kind of
white knuckled her way throughlife, trying to control
everything. She's hopefullygonna press the spiritual
overdrive button.

Mateo (00:58):
What I think I experienced, at least a pin drop
of that bliss of just living inthe moment.

Alicia (01:06):
It's very different to think of things this way.

Angus Ross (01:11):
You are listening to Rewilding Love with me, Angus
Ross,

Rohini Ross (01:15):
and me Rohini Ross

Angus Ross (01:17):
Rewilding Love is a podcast about relationships.

Rohini Ross (01:21):
We believe that love never disappears completely
in relationships. It can alwaysbe rewelded, listen in as we
guide a real couple back totheir natural state of love,

Angus Ross (01:32):
Relax, and enjoy the show.

Rohini Ross (01:41):
I just would like it noted for the record that I
was willing to sit in theuncomfortable seat for this
podcast episode and I'm notspeaking metaphorically, I'm
actually speaking physically andliterally.

Angus Ross (01:54):
And I just want to note for the record that when I
was in the uncomfortable seat, Idon't think you enjoying the
amount of noise that I wasmaking. And so that's why we
decided to change I thought,

Rohini Ross (02:08):
it's true. And I have to acknowledge Angus that
you are very chivalrous andwould normally put yourself in
the uncomfortable seat. But interms of sitting down and doing
a recording, the squirmingwasn't working for this.

Angus Ross (02:23):
It wasn't. Anywhere else for sure our listeners
don't want us to share ourdifficulties with the seating
arrangements. Let's get on tothe more important matters at
hand.

Rohini Ross (02:35):
Well, in this episode, I was really interested
in seeing how there wassynchronicity between our
sessions. And how in the lastepisode with Mateo, he had this
what I thought was a pretty biginsight. And now in this episode
with Alicia, she has what shecalls this her click moment.

Angus Ross (02:58):
Yes, I think that the bar was raised
significantly, so you bettershow up in this particular
segment. And I don't know if aclick moment really qualifies as
an insight. But I guess it fallsinto that territory?

Rohini Ross (03:15):
Well, you'll have to tell me, but I think it does.

Angus Ross (03:17):
I think it probably does. But we'll see.

Rohini Ross (03:20):
And also, I do want to preface that the language
that I'm using with Alicia, sheis a Christian. And so I really
wanted to use language that shewould relate to. So I am using
words like God, and otherspiritual terms, because that
was something that is importantand meaningful to her. And with

(03:41):
all of the clients we work with.
We want to use language thatrelates to their worldview.

Angus Ross (03:47):
It's funny, I know that there are definitely
occasions where we have to sortof tailor our sharing this
understanding in a way where wefeel like we're not going to
offend anybody on religiouslines. But I think it's quite
difficult to do that, in myestimation, because I think that
a lot of this understandingfalls very nicely into most

(04:12):
people's religious beliefs. AndI and I certainly think with
Christian philosophy, a lot ofwhat Jesus was pointing to lines
up with this understanding invery elegant ways.

Rohini Ross (04:24):
Absolutely. And what we're really pointing to is
how we can all be rewilded byour true nature, that spiritual
essence that is found within usand so we're although we're not
speaking from any specificreligious or even particular
spiritual point of view, we arelooking in the direction of how

(04:46):
we can all be rewarded by thatinnate sense of self who we are.

Angus Ross (04:53):
Yeah, and I think that this understanding is baked
into pretty much all spiritualphilosophy and obviously Each
spiritual philosophy has itsown, maybe its own language
surrounding it. And I don'tthink that we ever find
ourselves out of kilter with it.
But I do appreciate you knowwhat you're doing here in terms
of trying to use terminologythat would be more alignment

(05:15):
with Christianity.

Rohini Ross (05:19):
Let's hear from Alicia

Alicia (05:25):
There's a higher power there that you can kind of have
your own relationship with andtalk to and absolutely go that
route and just know thatwhatever is meant to be is meant
to be and that all the strugglesthat you go through and all the
hard times like, it's becauseyou can withstand it.

Rohini Ross (05:39):
Yes. And what we've been talking about in terms of
when you said, do nothing andride it out, wat is allowing you
to ride it out is that higherpower that is taking care of you
that it's kind of that's whatclears your mind.

Alicia (05:54):
Yeah, right.

Rohini Ross (05:55):
You don't have to clear your mind. And and, you
know, in the in the Christiantradition, it's it's, you know,
you give you give your problemsto Jesus, or you give them to
God or, you know, let God takethe wheel. Yeah, like, that's
exactly what we're talking abouthere is that you recognize that
your engagement is not helpingthe situation, you let go, and
you let that deeper spiritualenergy take over and take care

(06:21):
of you. And so that's why itkind of fills you up. Yeah, you
know, when you when you let themore you let go, the more you
get filled up.

Alicia (06:30):
And so whatever you just said, really just clicked to me,
because I was just like, why didyou get stirred up? I should
just remember, like, Oh, my God,you got this.

Rohini Ross (06:38):
That's right.
Exactly.

Alicia (06:39):
And I don't think that I've ever thought of it that
way. I think that right now,just like that clicky moment
where I'm like, well, there's ahigher power that can handle

Rohini Ross (06:47):
Thas exactly that higher power to come in. Because
it's like, that's your truenature like that spiritual
energy is your essence. And, andso it's recognizing that the
essence of who you are, will beable to navigate that, and you
don't have... your intellect isnot going to be able to figure

(07:07):
that out. It's like way toocomplicated for your intellect
to do. I know we do. We like to,you know, I definitely can
relate to me, like, I havecontrol, I could work hard, I
can do this. And we just gettired and make a mess of things
sometimes.

Angus Ross (07:23):
So I think the exact line is let Jesus take the
wheel. And I think you'reborrowing that lyric from a
country and western singer, thename of which I have no idea.
But nevertheless, I think thatis the correct line.

Rohini Ross (07:41):
I would agree with you. But I think I got it pretty
close.

Angus Ross (07:45):
But I do like the direction that you're taking
this in?

Rohini Ross (07:49):
Yeah, I think it was really important for her to
see that the way that she wasnavigating the relationship and
life in general, was with a veryhigh effort of trying to control
things and putting the weight ofthat on her shoulders. And I
could hear when I said somethingalong the lines of you don't

(08:12):
have to clear your mind. Likethere was something when I just
listened back. I heard it. She'slike, Oh, yeah. And for her to
see that it's not on her, tohave her mind clear that there
is this knowing inside of herthat she would refer to as God
or spirit that actually has anintelligence within it to help

(08:34):
her stabilize, that she doesn'thave to figure everything out
with her personal mind thatthere's actually a way that she
can open to something that'sgreater and deeper within her,
and that just takes the pressureoff.

Angus Ross (08:48):
Yeah, it's almost playfully.

Rohini Ross (08:50):
Absolutely. And that she was saying that she'd
never thought of it that waybefore. That was also something
that I thought was really keyand that I look for when working
with clients. And so when shesaid that she hadn't thought
about it that way before I knewthat something was shifting
inside of her and that she washaving some fresh thinking. She

(09:11):
was looking at it from a newperspective, a new
understanding. And so that feltvery hopeful for me.

Angus Ross (09:17):
Yeah, she definitely seemed like she got some
elevation there.

Rohini Ross (09:20):
And so in the next clip, I just speak to her a
little bit more about this.
That's really the essence ofwhat we're talking about here.
Even though we don't just workwith Christians, like we're
really pointing to thatspiritual essence that is behind

(09:43):
life. Yeah, you know, thatdrives life and that there's an
intelligence in that, that isway more comprehensive and
infinite than our small mind canever figure out and we can you
know, it's great that you haveyour intellect to, you know, get
your job, things going like it'svery useful. But for the deeper

(10:06):
feeling more heartfelt things,it's like we want to really rely
on that deeper part of us tolead the way.

Alicia (10:13):
Yeah, definitely is liberating. Yeah, that it's like
you do have the assistance eventhough you think you're in it
alone, that you can look to ahigher power to be like,
Alright, help me through this.

Rohini Ross (10:28):
Exactly, yeah. I love how working in this
intensive format really allowsfor the deepening of the
sessions. And I feel that, asI've worked with Alicia,
throughout the sessions, thatwe've just gone deeper and
deeper each time, from lookingat the role that her

(10:52):
relationship with her thinkinghas in her life, to now looking
at this much deeper point, whichis what happens when she's not
identifying with her personalthinking, what else is available
to her. And I think, you know,she's really blossoming into
that exploration reallybeautifully here. And that the

(11:15):
experience of when I listened toher sharing, is that she's just
so much lighter and got so muchmore inner freedom.

Angus Ross (11:24):
Yeah, she's, she's really settled down. And that's
something that's been verynoticeable to me, listen to her
share. And I think that in thatsettling down, she's got to a
higher vantage point and hasmuch better perspective on the
relationship. And mostimportantly, the relationship
she has with herself, and isstarting to see how to move

(11:49):
forward on that level will bereally a great compass point for
her to focus on the ways thatshe can quiet her mind.

Rohini Ross (11:56):
And I really want to point everyone who's
listening to how this isgeneric, what we're talking
about is universal. This is notjust about Alicia and Mateo,
that whenever we don't identifyso strongly with our personal
thinking, and we open up to thatdifferent kind of knowing that
deeper knowing within ourselves,we're able to navigate life much

(12:19):
more gracefully.

Angus Ross (12:21):
Yeah, and I think that she, she is now willing to
tune into that other channel, soto speak channel of our highest
self. And that's what we'll beplaying on the radio, when Jesus
takes the wheel.

Rohini Ross (12:40):
But you are thinking like oh, that's for
those important things. But tostart to see actually, no, this
is a way of navigating day today life. And and to see that
Oh, that deeper knowing thatit's like, okay, you're going to
handle this, like that deeperknowing is communicating with
you, the whole time. Life getscreated differently, when that

(13:02):
has more of the lead. You comefrom a very different place
inside of yourself, when you'recreating from there.

Alicia (13:09):
It's almost like more tranquil to me,

Rohini Ross (13:11):
It is, I would absolutely agree that makes
perfect sense.

Alicia (13:15):
It's almost like nice to think that like, I don't have to
be in control of every Yes, Isee the boss or like, like,
that's actually like in thismoment, I just almost felt like
pressure, just release because Iwas like, I don't have to do
that I don't have to control Idon't have to be the responsible
adult like things will cometogether as they're meant to
come together.

Rohini Ross (13:34):
The key point I initially wanted to make here is
that listening to our innerknowing or common sense,
whatever we want to label thatis very practical, and available
day to day, it's not somethingthat's just reserved for big
problems or certain situations,that we can actually have that

(13:57):
as our compass point fornavigating life.

Angus Ross (14:00):
Yeah, it really feels like in this section,
she's getting a taste for whatthat means. And, and evidently,
it is something that is acomfortable fit or appears it's
gonna be a comfortable fit forher.

Rohini Ross (14:15):
Well, and she has this experience in this section
where she feels the pressurerelease off of her chest, and we
talk about it a little bit laterin the session as well. But she
has this visceral experience ofletting the anxiety go which to
me is a clear demonstration thather relationship with her

(14:38):
anxious thinking has shifted inthis moment that she went from
feeling the pressure and anxietybecause she was identifying with
that thinking to having aninsight, realizing that she can
let go be present and listen tothe deeper knowing within
herself and not try and navigatelife with her intellect and by
figuring things out and sheexperienced feeling of letting

(15:02):
go.

Angus Ross (15:03):
And you can feel the relief of that. And I definitely
always got the impression, orwhat I've heard from thus far
that she's kind of whiteknuckled her way through life,
trying to control everything,and hang on very tightly. And
now she can, she can see thatthere's an opportunity for some
great release and relief, andhaving to not hang on so

(15:26):
tightly.

Rohini Ross (15:27):
And really, this is a lesson for all of us, I'm
still remembering this andlearning this, this is an
infinite journey of waking up tothe fact that we can let go and
so the more that I see this inmy own life, the more that I
recognize when I'm thinking thatI'm running the show, or that

(15:48):
I'm getting caught up inthought, as a way to get, you
know, buy into that illusion ofcontrol. It is always such a
relief to remember that no,that's not how it works.

Angus Ross (15:59):
And I guess one of the most important elements of
this understanding. And itdoesn't matter where we were, we
all fall on the spiritual orphilosophical spectrum, with a
sense that there is a higherpower are an intelligence behind
life, is the realization thatwhere you tend to hang on really

(16:19):
tightly, is through the systemof your own thinking. And that,
and that's generally where youget yourself into trouble trying
to sort of control and manageevery part of your human
experience. And to think that atsome point, you can just let go
the wheel go into neutral, andfeel that there is a push from
that higher power that's alreadyalways leading you towards

(16:41):
balance and harmony. There is somuch relief in that. And we're
all hopefully learning that andawareness at this level will
make life a whole lot easier.

Rohini Ross (16:52):
And that's the rewilding that we're all
allowing ourselves to berewilded by that innate
intelligence is moving towardsbalance and harmony, and that
there's opportunities for everysingle one of us to open up to
that more fully.

Angus Ross (17:07):
Yeah, absolutely.

Rohini Ross (17:10):
So in the next section, we continue to use
navigational metaphors, but Iactually didn't come up with it.

Angus Ross (17:16):
I know you really you set a precedence, I feel by
talking about that song, thatsong line, or you're using
metaphors left, right andcenter.

Rohini Ross (17:30):
Letting yourself go with what is actually your
deeper knowing. That allowsthings to go more smoothly, but
you're still part of it. Soit's, it's like you show up? You
know? Okay. Turn right here.
Well, you do turn right there.
Yeah. But it takes the pressureoff of you. Like you said, when
you felt that pressure lift,it's kind of like, oh, you're

(17:52):
ready to show up. But you're noton constant duty. Right. Having
to figure everything out.

Alicia (17:57):
Yeah, totally. It's like Captain like a navigation
system. Exactly.

Rohini Ross (18:00):
I love that GPS.
Right, so you've got your GPS,and it gives you the next couple
of turns, but it doesn't giveyou the next 100 turns. So it's
like all you need is okay, thisis where it's pointing me right
now.

Alicia (18:11):
And you don't have to like making those turns and
whatnot. You can take some ofthe thinking out of it.

Rohini Ross (18:15):
I love that you're seeing that. And I love that you
felt kind of that pressure.

Alicia (18:20):
Yeah. I agree because I'm like, Oh, I can breathe. I
was like, yeah, whoa, where didthat come from?

Rohini Ross (18:26):
Yeah. That feeling is what I'm talking about. Yeah.
And so when you start to feelthe pressure come in, you're
forgetting that you have thatguidance system, a higher power
available to you. You're takingon too much of the
responsibility. Like you're...

Alicia (18:45):
Its like my check point.
Yeah. taking on too much. It'slike, you're gonna realize.

Rohini Ross (18:49):
Yeah, you're gonna feel it. Like, just like, we've
been talking about how ourfeelings come from inside of us.
Pressure is an indicator to letyou know that you've forgotten
who's really in charge. And it'snot Oh, it's because I have this
much work to do. It's like, No,I've forgotten who's really in
charge right now. Yeah, I thinkit's on me.

Alicia (19:09):
Yes.

Rohini Ross (19:10):
Yeah. You got a big smile!

Alicia (19:12):
Like thinking that too.
I'm like, literally, I justthought about my like to do
lists at work. And I was like,Yeah, you got it. It's
liberating to think that way.
It's liberating to be like,there's times Yes, you have to
be in control, of course. Butlike, I don't have to be
controlled and relax, right.

Rohini Ross (19:27):
Like, I love that GPS analogies, because it's
like, Yeah, you do what you'rekind of being called forward to
do but there's so much lesseffort when that's all it is.

Angus Ross (19:39):
Okay, well, what I love about this section is that
is the way that you pointed outto this year, that the pressure
that she feels in thesesituations, is akin to her to
getting out of kilter with herhigher self, a spiritual power,

(20:00):
she likes to see it. And I thinkyou missed an opportunity to use
another motoring metaphor,because I think that would be
her check engine light comingon. And that would be the
indicated to her that she needsto pull over to the side of the
road, take your hands off thewheel, I've actually doesn't

(20:21):
really need to pull it up, butshe can just, she can less just
let the autopilot kick in. Andthat's the beauty of this human
experience. When we really honorand respect. There is an
intelligence behind life, justtwiddling its thumbs in the
wings waiting for us to kind ofreach out. Because there are all

(20:41):
these problems that can comethrough through intuition or
instinct, we just get betterequipped to be able to listen to
them and follow them.

Rohini Ross (20:52):
And she did mention the tech point. And so I think
she was getting close to thatmetaphor.

Angus Ross (20:58):
She did but not quite

Rohini Ross (20:59):
Not quite.
I would agree that there's thatwonderful feedback system that
we have from our emotions. Andfrom this section, we can hear
how she finally realized thatpressure she was feeling in her
chest was not normal. Until thenthat had just been the chronic

(21:20):
norm. But once it got released,she has a new reference point
for what it feels like when it'snot there. So she's going to
notice much more quickly. Whenthat comes back in like you're
saying, and that's going to beher reminder, to let her know
when she's getting caught up inher anxious thinking, so that
she can do whatever she needs todo at that point to take care of

(21:41):
herself.

Angus Ross (21:42):
And it's such a glorious way to become present
to what is. Because I know thatif I'm fully aware of the
feeling state that is taking meinto a more negative way of
thinking, then I realize rightoff the bat that I'm not present
by virtue of the fact that mymind has taken me to some point

(22:05):
in the future is dredging up thepast. But it's not there, ready
and willing to receive themoment and experience the
moment. And that's the sweetspot. That's when the
intellectual machinery is notengaged. And that's a much
better place from which to livemy life at any point really.

Rohini Ross (22:23):
Yeah, that's a great point that what we're
talking about another way ofpointing to it is to talk about
presence that when we're reallyin the present moment, we are in
the now and there's anincredible lightness and
freedom, when we're able to dothat. And that it really opens
up the capacity to hear theinner feedback and be responsive

(22:45):
to that. And that was anotherpoint that I was was making in
the section was how, when we'retalking about letting go of
control is not a passiveactivity, it's really a very
active, listening to that deeperknowing within ourselves. And
that when we listen deeply tothat knowing there's going to be
actions that we get prompted toengage in so it's really just a

(23:09):
letting go of the illusion thatwe have to have it all figured
out. And allowing the innerpromptings to be the guide along
the way, but it's not a passive,I'm just gonna sit here and do
nothing and see how life unfoldsis a very much an active
engagement with that deeperlistening and acting from that
place.

Angus Ross (23:29):
Yeah, it's it's an act of engagement. But in a
sense, it's also it's a very, itcan be very subtle, and it can
be very quiet engagement. Whatis that? What is that Buddhist
term, or, quote, when the mindquiets the soul speaks? For me
that that really points to thisunderstanding from this vantage

(23:50):
point that when we get quiet,and when we will respect that
there is there is this GPSsystem, that those prompts and
those intuitions will be muchmore available to us, by virtue
of the fact that we aredisengaging ourselves from the
from the noise and the staticof, of our intellectual

(24:10):
machinery at those points wherewe can see that our feeling
state has gone south.

Rohini Ross (24:16):
And not only are we more capable of listening, when
we're in that more quiet mind,in this next part, I really look
at how there's an additionalbenefit of increased resilience,
when we're in that place ofpresence.

Angus Ross (24:30):
Love it.

Rohini Ross (24:36):
And when I'm talking about your resilience,
your ability to bounce back,that's where it comes from. Like
that's source the source of whoyou are. That's why you're
resilient because you alwaysbounce back. Yeah, like that's
inside of everybody. Whetherthey realize it or not, it's
there, but the more yourecognize like it doesn't matter

(24:58):
if I get knocked down becauseYou get filled up again you let
go. Okay. Now what? Yep, I'mgonna figure this out now.

Alicia (25:05):
Yeah. And I think it's kind of the analogy goes back to
like, even with children, likeif they touch the fire, they're
gonna learn real quick. And youknow, sometimes you have to
trust that you have to let themmake a mistake or fall. So it's
kind of the same thing now islike, I trust that, like, I'm
gonna make mistakes. I'm gonnafall but like, there's some
there's a safety net there.

Rohini Ross (25:24):
Absolutely. Yeah. I love that. I love what you're
saying. No, it's so great. Allthe metaphors, you're, you're
fantastic. So a safety neteffect. Yeah. Being Human,
there's going to be knocks alongthe way. None of us escape that.
But there's a safety net. . Soit doesn't matter.

Alicia (25:40):
It like makes you feel like a little bit more warm and,
like, secure that, like, thingsare gonna go awry. That's,
that's life. But it's like toknow that like, you're not
really ended alone, even thoughyou may think so. But you're
also going to be able to bounceback no matter how hard it may
that be.

Rohini Ross (25:57):
Exactly. And when you let go, and you allow that
deeper wisdom to come forward.
Like, that's infinite. what'savailable to you there. Like
you're gonna get fresh ideas,you're gonna get new thoughts,
like there's nothing that yourlife can hand you that that
wisdom that you have inside ofyou cannot handle

Alicia (26:15):
Yeah, yeah, it's like you're going and opening up all
the like, with chakra is andeverything. It's really cool,
actually. Because I feel likeI've always like, you know,
thought about it, or like,acknowledged it, and like seeing
that people feel these things,but then actually to like,
finally let it click withinyourself. You're just like,
Whoa,

Rohini Ross (26:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's experiential.

Alicia (26:35):
Yeah. And I feel like you have to almost really be
open to it before you canactually believe it or feel it.
Because I feel like I'veacknowledged it, right. But I
never really like was open tothis being like, let's see.

Rohini Ross (26:49):
Alicia is on fire with her metaphors.

Angus Ross (26:52):
She is.

Rohini Ross (26:54):
She's rivaling you.

Angus Ross (26:56):
Well, I don't know about that. Maybe I can get some
tips from her.

Rohini Ross (26:59):
I really appreciated her safety net
metaphor, because it it said tome that she was experiencing
that place of safety withinherself. She's no longer walking
on the tightrope of having toget it right. She's feeling that
inner relaxation of being okayto be human being okay to be

(27:20):
learning as she's going along,not having to hold it together.
Hearing that she's got her ownresilience, or recognizing she
has her own resilience to workthings out as she goes along. It
doesn't have to be working outall the time to me what she's
speaking to here, and especiallywith that reference point, to

(27:42):
that safety net. That's thatrecognition that she ultimately
is okay within.

Angus Ross (27:48):
Yeah, and I think you hit the nail on the head
when you talk about learning asyou go along. And I think that,
what are we here for, if not togrow and learn in our human
experience? I guess, you know,as I said before, I like to
think that our sole purpose tobe here in this human experience

(28:08):
is to evolve and consciousness.
And to look at it from thatperspective, growth and learning
would be the objective. And soon that basis, and understanding
that we have a GPS system that'sfeeding us prompts from the
wings trying to guide us andhelp us to move forward. And
really, that's really such arelief to think that you know

(28:31):
what, I'm just doing my best atall times. I'm doing my best.
And I have this incredible GPSsystem that will help me course
correct as I as I move along.
And I think that for mecertainly is is a great source
of comfort.

Rohini Ross (28:48):
And it really takes the pressure off. And what I
think is key, especially herewith Alicia Mateo, but for all
of us is to recognize that ashuman beings, the more pressure
we have on ourselves, the lessour performance benefits from
that. Pressure and performancedon't go well together.

Angus Ross (29:11):
Yes, pressure and performance don't make very good
bedfellows, do they?

Rohini Ross (29:16):
No, not at all.

Angus Ross (29:17):
Not very good in bed together.

Rohini Ross (29:22):
On many levels...

Angus Ross (29:23):
So many levels.

Rohini Ross (29:26):
So there was one point I wanted to make for this
section. Can I switch topics?

Angus Ross (29:30):
Yes.

Rohini Ross (29:32):
The other piece that Alicia noted, I thought she
had a lot of great insights andawarenesses here is that she
said...

Angus Ross (29:39):
You're very keen to point out all these great
insights and awarenesses thatAlicias has had, but I don't
know if she's caught up withMatteo yet based on his last
showing, anyway, but pleasecarry on.

Rohini Ross (29:51):
I don't think it's a competition but if it was..

Angus Ross (29:59):
I could be Winning,

Rohini Ross (30:00):
I know who's ahead.
Well, what I was gonna say isthat she recognizes the
difference between gettingsomething intellectually and
having an experiential knowingof it, which I thought was very
astute of her, she said that youhave to be open to it. And what
she's pointing to is that shehad this visceral experience of

(30:21):
understanding that it's okay tolet go, it wasn't an
intellectual idea. She felt it.
So to me, that's the only thingthat matters, because we can
have all kinds of good ideasthat don't really do anything
for us in terms of ourexperience and our behavior. But

(30:42):
when it drops down to anexperiential knowing, that's
really powerful. And that's whatshe had a taste of here. And
even just a taste of that goes areally long way. And that's what
I point to in the next section.

Angus Ross (30:55):
Yeah, that's, that is quite powerful. I'll give you
that. I'll give her that. Idon't know if that gives it the
edge, though, yeah,

Rohini Ross (31:03):
That's very generous of you.
Because it's the natural design.
Like we're naturally designed tohave wisdom come forward, we're
naturally designed to have thisessence expressed in the world,
you just create a little openingor big opening, but even a
little opening, and it's gonnacome forward. It just needs a

(31:24):
little bit. And all of asudden, it's like, okay, there
it is. So I, you know, for me,what's what's really standing
out to me, but what you'resaying is, you're seeing that
it's not on you. And that youcan really rest so much better
understanding that it's not onyou and that, yes, you're
participating. And you'reshowing up, but it's a different

(31:47):
level of responsibility thanyou've been holding. And trying
to fit like, when you'reoverthinking. It's trying to
find the answer and theintellect. And it's not there.
It's never gonna come fromthere. Because if you knew the
intellect pretty much finefigures it out in a few minutes.
You know, I was like, Oh, I knowthe answer. What is it? But if
it's not there, you're not goingto get the answer from there.

(32:11):
It's going to come from newfresh thinking coming from that
wisdom coming in.

Alicia (32:16):
Yeah. And I think that that's something that'll create
the neutral state.

Rohini Ross (32:22):
Yes. Yeah, the neutral state is being just open
to that, and how it comesforward. And that when you, the
more stirred up you are, theharder it is to be open. So the
the more alone, you feel, eventhough you're not alone, but the
more alone you feel, becauseit's like, if you look at it,

(32:44):
like an open mind is, is wideopen. And so you can be really
connected and really feelpeaceful and feel that guidance
come in really easily. But themore stirred up our thinking
gets, it's like that contracts,and it becomes really small. So
it's really difficult to kind offeel or recognize whatever that
wisdom is, because there's justso much noise coming from the

(33:08):
other thought.

Alicia (33:08):
Yeah, it's all been blocked out.

Rohini Ross (33:10):
Exactly. Because it it's more of a subtle feeling.
You know, then the noise of ouranxiety or insecurity, like
that's really noisy and just,you know, wants to get our
attention. But this otherexperience of knowing of feeling
that tranquility, that you'retalking about feeling that

(33:31):
you're being held, and thatyou're not alone, like that's
much quieter, and subtle, butprofound and powerful.

Alicia (33:38):
Yeah, definitely.

Rohini Ross (33:39):
And it's you just, it's basically, you get better
at having the noise go into thebackground, and this other
experience come into theforeground. And you know, what
it feels like, and when itshifts, you're like, Oh, I'm on
the wrong side of things. Andyou can go back. And what's been
happening is you've just beenliving in the noise a lot. And

(34:00):
it's even like this. Oftentimes,this really shows up when life
situations happen that aredifficult. So you've been in a
difficult life situation, butit's just magnified what was
already happening internally.Sothis is the how you've been
navigating. And then thisdifficult life situation just
makes it more clearly Oh, thisisn't working. how I've been

(34:22):
navigating. So now though, thebeauty of it is because it's
like, Wait a second, this isreally difficult. You get to
learn and have a differentunderstanding that allows you to
even be in this difficultsituation, and a new easier way.
But you take it forward, evenwhen you're not in this
difficult situation. And youhave a new understanding so that

(34:44):
goes with you.

Alicia (34:44):
Yeah, no, I think that's like, such a key learning
because it's like, I don't know,it's just like different to kind
of just know that like, youaren't alone, it's not your
decisions. It's like just yeah,just follow the navigation. Just
go with it and just see where itlands, and it's nice to know

(35:05):
that's there. I just got quietout the noise.

Rohini Ross (35:08):
That's right.

Angus Ross (35:11):
So I love the way that you're guiding here. I feel
like she's, I will concede thatshe's evidently had quite a
major insight.

Rohini Ross (35:22):
Thank you.

Angus Ross (35:24):
With that insight, I would suggest that she's
probably had a jump inconsciousness. And in that jump,
what I really like about whatyou're doing is that you're
really helping her anchor thatin, getting a sense of what
she's seen, so that she canreally move forward with it in a
way where she has a keener senseof what she's seen, and can now

(35:48):
use it in practical terms.

Rohini Ross (35:51):
Yeah, that's a great way of putting it taking
something that she's feeling,but then helping her see how
that's going to support her invery practical ways in life. But
one of the things that she saidthat helped me recognize that
she's had that shift is shetalked about that neutral state,
and respecting that neutralstate. And I don't know that

(36:13):
she's even considered beforethis, the value of having a
neutral state of mind. And sothat opens up so many
possibilities for her.
And even though it's beenchronic it, it can it can shift

(36:34):
like that. Like what you justfelt what you've seen, like,
that's a shift, that's like alight bulb going on.

Alicia (36:42):
Yeah, it was weird. I've never felt that too. I was like,
we did I have like to havesomething on my chest. Like
what's going on here?

Rohini Ross (36:51):
Yeah. So that is what you get to take with you.

Alicia (36:54):
Yeah. And I think that that's, I wish for everybody
that they can stand thatinfield. And it's almost like, I
almost feel like, we've beengypped as children like to not
have a class like this andelementary school or high
school, to really get to knowmto be within yourself almost.

Rohini Ross (37:10):
Yeah, as you live this in your life, and you feel
that pressure continue torecede, and it becomes less of
the norm, and you live more fromthat place of a feeling of
connected and just reallyletting yourself be guided and,
and seeing how graceful mostthings are. When you do it that

(37:30):
way. Like Yes, there's stillgonna be knocks. But it's also
incredibly amazing how easythings are to when you do them.
But people will be impacted bythat. Like, there's gonna be a
ripple effect. Like if you and Ijust had this, and you went back
to him. He like, Oh, she'sdifferent. There will be a
ripple effect there. You'd showup differently. And you know,

(37:51):
who knows how that would unfold?
Even if he didn't? Your peopleyou work with that? See you
every day, they're gonna feelthat too. And family members. So
you're going to create your ownlittle ripple effect and who
knows what you'll share howyou'll share it, right?

Angus Ross (38:08):
Well, I imagine that when you were hearing what you
said real time, you would havebeen like one of those
linebackers who just receivedthe ball in the end zone, and
was now doing the victory dancetowards the cloud. That was

(38:30):
definitely quite an insight interms of how it was registering
on the Richter scale.

Rohini Ross (38:36):
I'm not really known for my victory dances in
session.

Angus Ross (38:40):
I think you should incorporate them.

Rohini Ross (38:42):
Some movement therapy. expressive dancing,

Angus Ross (38:48):
Expressive dance.
Maybe a yodel. I don't know.

Rohini Ross (38:52):
I take it as a compliment.

Angus Ross (38:54):
I would love to hear a yodel in the therapy suite as
a sign that someone had a majorinsight.

Rohini Ross (39:01):
Well, anything else?

Angus Ross (39:03):
No, I think that again, you know, she's obviously
it's almost like it's so slowrelease better since she's had
this insight. And it's just,it's just sinking into greater
depths and having more and moreof an impact on her.

Rohini Ross (39:19):
Yeah. No, it was really beautiful to witness.
And, again, when there is thatkind of visceral response in a
session, it's such a clearindicator that there has been a
shift because it's not just anintellectual understanding, the
body is communicating the shift,which is profound. And what I

(39:42):
think is really key isrecognizing how in this session
and how change really happens isthat happens in an instantaneous
way. When we get that click whenwe see something new. When we
see something fresh when we havea realization of something that
we haven't seen before. There'san instantaneous shift that

(40:04):
changes everything. And I don'tknow enough about biology, but I
would imagine it has thepotential to shift things, even
down to a DNA level, I'm not anexpert in that area, I want to
be clear. But that kind of shiftis what we're always looking
for. And even when there is thatkind of shift, the person is

(40:25):
still on the learning curve forintegrating that shift. And I
think that that is key. And I'lltalk more about that with her as
well. But the recognition fromwhere change comes, I think, is
important. Because often peopletry to change at the level of
the intellect, the level ofbehavior. And what we're really

(40:47):
pointing our clients to, is thatchange comes from a new insight
coming from the unknown.

Angus Ross (40:54):
Yeah, whenthings click shift happens.

Alicia (41:06):
It's very different to think of things this way and
just being like, just roleplay Ithink I guess that's why they
have that saying, like, rollwith the punches.

Rohini Ross (41:14):
Yeah, yeah. And it's but I love that you're
seeing the spiritual element,because it's not kind of
nihilistic, I'll roll with thepunches. It's like, you're going
with the flow of a deeperintelligence. And even though on
the surface, it might feel likethe punches. It's actually
there's, there's alwayssomething greater right going
on. Sometimes it's more obviousto us than others, but that we

(41:39):
can trust that whatever is, ismeant to be

Alicia (41:42):
Totally, and that's what I mean by like, roll with the
punches, just like rolling with,like, whatever life throws you
because you are going to beguided whether you think that
you're not. And just goingwithin trusting it. And then
just being like, yeah, God is inyour hands or take the wheel and
just..

Rohini Ross (41:57):
That's right.

Alicia (41:59):
I'm gonna let you do you. And let's then let me know
how I react after you know, andjust kind of that almost like is
puts me at least at ease.

Rohini Ross (42:08):
Yeah, I'm hoping, yeah, can really allow you to
feel that more tranquility andpeace. And that even this
situation, is part of thatintelligence. Even though it's
not your preference this way,but it's that intelligence being
expressed through the two of youdoing the best that you can,

(42:29):
right. Like, there's wisdom init, as crazy as that sounds. .
Like, it's got a lot of, youknow, muddled up thinking in
there too. Well, as you said,the insight just keeps getting
deeper is a session unfolds. Andher use of the language, you
know, roll with the punches, shewas definitely speaking to it

(42:52):
from that place of acceptingwhat is, but I did want to make
sure that she was clear. And I'dlove to make sure that our
listeners are clear that there'sa distinction between
resignation and acceptance. Andwhen she's saying roll with the
punches, she's not talking aboutit from the perspective of
resignation, just kind of rollover and accept what is and you

(43:15):
know, it has to be good enough,even though we're not really
okay with it. Resignation isactually a form of resistance to
what is, it isn't trulyacceptance and acceptance is
really about being open to whatis without resistance to it. And
that's incredibly freeing, andliberating, when we're able to

(43:37):
do that. Whereas resignation hasresistance embedded in it, and
it is not freeing and liberatingat all. And so she was speaking
about rolling with the punchesfrom that place of accepting
what is. And Byron Katie has oneof my favorite quotes, where she
says, when you fight, this mightnot be the exact quote, but it's

(43:58):
something like this, when youfight with reality, you lose,
but only 100% of the time.

Angus Ross (44:04):
That's cool. Yeah.
And the thing that I that Iwanted to say, at this point,
which is I've feel is reallynoticeable. This is a beautiful
rapport between you two. There'sa real gentle quality to it a
real, you know, that seems toindicate a very settled mind as
far as she's concerned. And Ithink this is on the back of her
having what evidently is areally beautiful insight. And

(44:27):
what I find, I kind of find itsomewhat uncanny that both our
clients as it were, in separaterooms, are having similar
experiences. They're seeingsomething new and fresh for the
first time. And their wholeposition is really quietening
down, and they're getting awhole new fresh perspective. And

(44:48):
isn't it amazing how thatobviously was happening
simultaneously. And you wouldnever thought that as the day's
beginning. So I think that'swonderful.

Rohini Ross (45:00):
Yeah, it is really beautiful that we're all sort of
coming together meeting in thatspace you know, the field that'
s beyond right doing and wrongdoing, there is a field, we're
meeting in that place of nonjudgment, that place of
unconditional love, and they'rejust dropping into it.

Angus Ross (45:16):
Yeah. And, and doing everything to sort of validate
why we do our intensives in thisway to sort of create a sort of
almost like a spa setting wherethey just get to relax and and
unwind and settle. And here weare, at this point, both on the
same page, it's quiteremarkable.

Rohini Ross (45:38):
And I think it's also important to note that in
this session, with Alicia, we'renot talking about Mateo. There's
no blame. There's no, there's noexploration so much. We're
really looking at what allowsher to have her inner freedom
and peace of mind.

Angus Ross (45:56):
Yeah, it's just you know, he's getting new optics,
isn't it?

Rohini Ross (46:05):
I love how lit up you're,

Alicia (46:06):
It was like one of those like click moments. Yes. Like,
okay, like, this is what it wasintended to be. And, yes, you
know, that you you did spiraland then this is the bringing
you back to reality into thatcommon moment. It works out it

(46:27):
always does.

Rohini Ross (46:28):
Absolutely. So in terms of that click moment, in
terms of when you felt thatpressure lift off of you. That's
the experience of having arealization, right. So there's
the feet, the experientialfeeling of that. Now the
intellect is going to capturesome, you know, don't try to

(46:49):
intellectualize it, you mightget some ideas about it. But
it's it's beyond the intellect.
It's a it's a deeper feeling.
You get that right. Yeah, youfelt it in a deeper way. And you
just just follow the feeling.

Alicia (47:01):
Yeah. And it's like, kind of one of those things that
intellect is almost like it cansteer you the wrong way, start
making all these scenarios. Andin that of listening to that, I
mean, I can acknowledge it andnot give it any life.

Rohini Ross (47:15):
You don't want to overthink it, basically write it
but it's it's alive. It's thewisdom is in it, the follow the
feeling, you know, just soak upthat feeling. It's a beautiful
feeling. But yeah, don't crushit, with your intellect. You
can't get it wrong. I don't wantyou to think you can get it

(47:35):
wrong. But I really sort ofpointing to like, you can just
trust that feeling what you feltwas real and that's enough. That
means like, those are the kindsof things that Angus and I look
out for, like, how is thislanding? And not everybody has
that kind of really, you know,like clear experience the way
you did, but when it's likethat, it's really obvious like,

(47:57):
oh, something has landed, she'snow your understanding was here.
And now it's here. So that's thepart that is different and once
that happens, you can't go back.

Alicia (48:08):
Thank God!

Rohini Ross (48:08):
You can't go back.
So it doesn't mean that you'renot going to trip up. But you
can't see. You can't unsee whatyou've seen, right? So you saw
something that you're not goingto be able to forget forever. So
you might have momentaryforgetting, but then you
realize, Oh, yeah, that's right.
Let go of the wheel. Yeah, who'sin charge here? Yeah. And you'll

(48:31):
remember sooner, but it's, it'squalitatively different to live
from that place. And it is fromwhen you didn't see that before?

Alicia (48:40):
It's funny, because I feel like this whole situation,
hadn't I followed my head Iwould have been out

Rohini Ross (48:47):
Yes, exactly.

Alicia (48:49):
That would'nt have been following my intellect, decided
not to listen.

Rohini Ross (48:52):
With your friends is like, Is she crazy? Becasue
they're like, you should followyour intellect.

Alicia (48:56):
And I feel like that's probably viewed for the both of
us like, both sides. Like, areyou crazy? Is she crazy? And I
think that, despite everything,I mean, we're both still here.
Obviously, our hearts and ourinner wisdom was telling us...

Rohini Ross (49:10):
something else was bigger of what's going on here.
Which is really beautiful, it'sreally beautiful.

Alicia (49:16):
And that's why like when I thought, actually, when I
thought when I said yesterdaythat like he needed someone to
tell him what to do. I thinkthat it's more so like, you just
need to follow your heart andrealize that the wisdom and the
higher powers is what's going toguide you and pull you to this.
And I think that it's being saidthat like, we need to be all in
in this because this is wherewe're at right now. Versus
listening to all of the chaos.

Rohini Ross (49:38):
Right, exactly!

Angus Ross (49:39):
I love the fact that you're giving her all this room
to really acknowledge theinsight that she's had, and
helping her really get to seehow this experience is going to
be life changing. Its a realdefining moment for her. And I

(50:03):
think that you did a really goodjob and allowing her to really
expand into that some more.

Rohini Ross (50:09):
Thank you. It was really exciting to witness. It's
always exciting when we see ourclients make those kind of
shifts. So it was fun. And Icould see the shift in her face,
you know, the lightness, the thelight around her was wonderful.
And I wanted to reassure herthat, even though she wasn't

(50:29):
going to necessarily be in thiskind of peak experience for the
rest of her life, that what shewas seeing was what was
important, it's not the peakexperience, it's important, it's
the understanding that has thethe value, and that she's going
to have the understanding. Andthat's why I said you can't
unsee what you've seen, andwe've all had the experiences of

(50:53):
forgetting what we've seen, buteventually we will remember. And
there's a big difference betweennot having seen something. And
having seen something andforgetting and then remembering.
So I really wanted to reassureher about that. And I also think
it was really cool that she wasable to notice how she was
already listening to the call ofher heart, or as we might say,

(51:16):
the call of the wild that allalong, she had known to listen
to something deeper than herintellect and that Mateo was
doing the same thing as well.
And that was how they ended upworking with us that they hadn't
given up. And they werelistening to, you know, what
might have been a very smallseed of love. But there was
something in both of them thatwere they were both willing to

(51:38):
give it one more chance.

Angus Ross (51:42):
Yeah, there's a there's a phrase that I like to
use is not an original phrase.
I've heard other people's useit. So idea, you you thinking
with your head, or are youthinking with your heart, or
speaking from your head orspeaking from your heart. And I
feel that's what's very presentfor me in listening to her and
thinking about my session withMateo is that that's where

(52:03):
they've come to then arespeaking from their heart. That
is the cadence of theirlanguage. First before they were
very much engaged on anintellectual level.

Rohini Ross (52:19):
And that is the Rewilding of love

Angus Ross (52:21):
It Is.

Rohini Ross (52:23):
And then the next segment, I wanted to bring it
back a little bit to talk aboutthe relationship. And you and I
can talk a bit more about thepracticalities of how this
unfolds in relationships.
What's most important is thatyou know that you have that
resource inside of you that whenthe two of you come up against

(52:45):
things that are like, Oh, wedon't know what to do here, that
you both have the capacity toget neutral. And to listen more
deeply, and to communicate toeach other from that place. And
it's with respect. Yeah. Andit's, and it's, you communicate,
like I said, before, as long asyou need to, like it's not,
there's no time we notice, like,we just take whatever time and

(53:07):
if you get unnatural, like, wegot to revisit this another time
and go back at it another time.

Alicia (53:12):
Totally. Like I know, he has said before, he's like,
sometimes he doesn't want to getinto these, like deep
conversations, because I'mclosed minded on it. And so
like, I have to see my way, andI need you to see my way. And
now it's kind of like one ofthose things where I'm just kind
of like thinking about it andthinking back on it. It's like,
should have been more open justto hearing his opinion, because
maybe he would have changed, youknow, a little bit of what I was

(53:35):
thinking, or it would havesolidified what I'm thinking.

Rohini Ross (53:38):
Exactly. You don't know. Right? You could be really
surprised and like, Oh,actually, I agree with him. You
know, I didn't think I would.
And it's like what happens whenyou're open like that is you get
to hear your deeper. Like I'msaying that deeper wisdom guides
the process. And if you'remeant to be going over that way,
then you'd be like, okay, yeah,I'm on your side now.

Alicia (53:58):
Yeah. Or I just agree to disagree and then that's it.
That's respectful too. But Iknow that like for me, it was
just like, I'm selling you on mypoint. And you should be
thinking the same way I am. Andit's like, no, doesn't
necessarily be that.

Rohini Ross (54:11):
And it doesn't need to be that and it's absolutely
okay for the relationship to nothave to agree on everything.
Like you can't agree oneverything, that'd be
impossible.

Angus Ross (54:24):
I like the way that you're kind of gently bringing
her back down to earth, in asense here, because I think it's
important that she saidsomething she's obviously
uplifted by that and excited bythat. An I think that it's

(54:45):
important to consider or beinghelped to consider that there
will be moments in the futurenot too distant future, I'm sure
where you will get caught up orshe'll get caught up, and that's
not going to be the end of theworld. But it's important that
she maybe remembers what she'sseen here. And that will help

(55:10):
her on a practical level tonegotiate those challenges as
and when they show up, whichthey will. And so you're kind
of, I guess, trying to pointthat out,

Rohini Ross (55:20):
I thought it was very helpful that she was able
to see how she had been veryclose minded in the past.

Angus Ross (55:27):
Yeah, that's fantastic. Because that will
help, hopefully put herself inMateo's shoes in the future to
be a little bit more empathic.
Rather than being closed minded.
Seeing it only from her point ofview.

Rohini Ross (55:43):
Yeah, you can hear some common ground here even in
what she's saying between whatwe've heard in your sessions
with Mateo so that makes me veryhopeful as well. And that, in
that space of having an openmind, I did, as you're saying, I
did want to look back to thepracticalities and help her see

(56:03):
how having an open mind havingan open heart is what's needed,
when communication is happeningin a couple relationship. And
that when that's not available,communication tends to not go
well. And it's not really thatcomplicated. But we have to know
the difference between whenwe're caught up in our position

(56:23):
when we're caught up in a closedmind when we're not really open
hearted and when we're notthere. And what happens with
most couples as they try tocommunicate from a place of
fear, a place of righteousness,which are all indicators that
the mind is closed, and thehardest close and communication
doesn't go well. And then theytake that to mean something

(56:45):
about their relationship.

Angus Ross (56:47):
Yeah, it seems to be that the ticket is to
communicate from one's positionof righteousness, when the real
way, as I see it, is to alwaystry and put yourself in the
other person's shoes. And Ithink that when we do that, we
once again, that's another waythat where we where we become

(57:07):
present, because when we'reputting on putting ourselves in
their shoes, we're listeningdeeply. And if we're listening
deeply, in that sense, again,we're not engaging with the
intellectual machinery andtaking ourselves elsewhere,
we're fully present to them whatit is, and that in itself is
something that's very settling.
And in that position of empathy,it's easy to see how compassion

(57:29):
is pretty close. And that's thesweet spot as that's the point
where people get the shift thatthey need in a relationship for
fear to to feel like it willcome work here.

Rohini Ross (57:44):
And what's exciting is that they both seem to be
experiencing that capacity forempathy right now. So we'll just
finish off with this lastsegment from the session.

Alicia (57:59):
Feel like, which is really weird within 24 hours,
like it's such a complete 180.
And even from like this morning,yeah, like just kind of just
being more in tune with yourselfand just being like, really,
like, out of us of things andjust being like, you're not in
control. You're not gonna figureit out. It's not gonna happen.
Just go with it.

Rohini Ross (58:18):
Yeah, I know. It's amazing. Because you have the
difference of experience betweensort of weekly and this and
yeah, that's what I love aboutthis is that each session like,
it's almost like there's a monthin between sessions. Yeah, terms
of how they work. And like, whathappened so far? I know, I know.
It's just amazing. But it'sbecause you're settling. And
it's because that intelligencewants to come forward. So it

(58:42):
doesn't take a lot. And that'swhy you know, here sleep, relax,
mind open, comes in. Like that'sthe formula basically.

Alicia (58:50):
Yeah. And if you take out any he always mentions like
more simpler life, but like nowI actually see it like taking
out all of the chaos andeverything. Like just being in a
moment. I'm like, yeah, it'd benice come back every once in a
while.

Rohini Ross (59:03):
Yeah, you know where it is.

Alicia (59:05):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's, it's really interesting to
view and it's almost like, howdoes this not more common sense?
Like, how is this novel?

Rohini Ross (59:14):
It is common sense, right? Oh, yeah. But but it's
like, how is it not for otherpeople? Absolutely, I understand
what you mean but once you seeit, like it is common sense.
Yeah, that's all it is.

Alicia (59:26):
It definitely is. It's also like, wait, I was over
complicating everything. And Iwas thinking that things weren't
complicated snd I can handle andit's like, what?

Rohini Ross (59:35):
I know. Well, it's it's always funny. Like, when
when our understanding goes upwe look at how we were before,
what was I thinking like that'sjust really normal.

Alicia (59:43):
Literally, this whole time, like I gotta be this boss
and try to handle everything.
No, no. Yeah.

Rohini Ross (59:50):
And it's a lot nicer not to have to.

Alicia (59:52):
It's so much nicer. You can breathe in and out.

Rohini Ross (59:55):
Yeah, good. It was a really nice way to This
session on that high note. Andit's really common when we see
something new to look back athow we saw things previously,
and to be kind of horrified. Iknow that I felt that way after
I've seen things fresh. It'slike, really, I behaved that

(01:00:17):
way, or I thought that before.
So I was hoping to help hernavigate that in a kind, gentle
way. But, of course, it's gonnalook kind of crazy when you look
back once you see somethingfresh about it, and that she's
now more connected with her owncommon sense about how to
navigate the relationship.

Angus Ross (01:00:38):
Yeah, it kind of almost reminds me of my
experience at school withmathematics. I always imagined
it was extremely complicated.
And for the most part, it stillis. But on the rare occasions,
where I was able to solve aproblem, it was the inherent
simplicity in that problem thatalways kind of blew my mind is

(01:01:02):
actually Oh, gosh, Yeah, wow,this is really simple when you
understand it. And I think thatthis is what's happening for
her, she has now quite a goodunderstanding through this
insight that she's had. And shesees the inherent simplicity in
it. And, obviously, yeah, itsounds like complete common
sense, and that's really whatwe're sharing.

Rohini Ross (01:01:26):
And she's also valuing a quiet mind.

Angus Ross (01:01:30):
Yes, absolutely. And you can see that reflected in
her voice, the cadence of hervoice.

Rohini Ross (01:01:35):
Yeah, she's liking how she feels. And she realizes
that she wants more of that,which is wonderful.

Angus Ross (01:01:40):
Yeah, she's got a taste for the soul.

Rohini Ross (01:01:43):
Tastes for the wild.

Angus Ross (01:01:45):
That's right.

Rohini Ross (01:01:46):
So we've done quite well, I would say with both of
them individually. And so nowthe proof is in the pudding.
What's gonna happen when webring them together?

Angus Ross (01:01:56):
I know!

Rohini Ross (01:01:59):
Is it all gonna go south?

Angus Ross (01:02:00):
This is where we should have our soundman put in
a heavy drum roll.

Rohini Ross (01:02:07):
So next session, we'll be sharing how our joint
session was when we brought usall together again. So take
care.
Thank you so much for listeningto Rewilding Love. If you
enjoyed this podcast, please letus know by subscribing on

(01:02:28):
iTunes, and we would love foryou to leave a review there.

Angus Ross (01:02:32):
iTunes reviews will steer people to this podcast who
need help with theirrelationships.

Rohini Ross (01:02:38):
If you would like to learn more about our work and
our online community, pleasevisit our website
TheRewilders.com

Angus Ross (01:02:46):
Thanks for listening. Join us next week.