Why do we need to look back at our past to move forward in marriage? In this meaningful episode, Rebekah and Gabe explore how unresolved childhood experiences shape our marriage conflicts today. They share that the number one trigger in marital fights is actually tone—not words—because "we sense before we make sense" of what our spouse is saying.
The Lyons vulnerably discuss how Gabe's counselor once told him he communicated "like an Excel spreadsheet"—all facts with no heart—revealing how childhood trauma had caused him to shut down emotionally.
Drawing from their book "The Fight For Us," they introduce Dr. Chip Dodd's eight primary feelings (hurt, loneliness, sadness, anger, fear, shame, guilt, and gladness) and explain how confessing these emotions transforms them from impairments into gifts. When loneliness is shared, it leads to intimacy; when fear is named, it builds faith.
The episode closes with a beautiful blessing for couples willing to be vulnerable and trust each other, especially when it requires risk.
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