April 1, 2024 • 40 mins
Have you ever experienced that deafening silence between you and your partner, the kind where a million words hang unsaid? Renee and I open our hearts, sharing stories that shed light on the silent struggles within relationships. As we navigate these quiet spaces, our conversation uncovers fears, challenges the cultural stigmas against speaking up, and offers a beacon of hope for those aching to find their voice. With each anecdote and piece of advice, we aim to equip you with the courage to transform the unspoken into meaningful dialogue, fostering deeper connections with kindness and understanding.
Silence, while it can be a refuge, often morphs into a barrier in our most intimate bonds. In our latest heart-to-heart, we dissect the paradox of managing conflict professionally while floundering in personal squabbles, and the repercussions of letting fear dictate when we choose to stay quiet. Deliberating on the art of self-awareness and the power of active listening, we reveal how these tools can reshape our interactions, inviting you to join us on this continuous journey of growth. Our discussion is not just a lesson—it's an invitation to reflect, engage, and grow alongside us.
Looking ahead, our blueprint for future episodes promises to broaden the horizons of our intimate community. We'll be bringing in voices from all walks of life, as couples and singles share their own dance with silence and sound. We'll consider the timing and format that best fits your lives, because your stories, your questions, and your insights are the heartbeat of this ongoing dialogue. Together, we're crafting a symphony of voices, each unique but harmoniously joined in the quest for relationships where every silence is met with compassion and every word echoes with love.
RICH RELATIONSHIPS REFUGE
Meet: Gil & Renée
Rich Relationships Refuge podcast with Gilbert J and Renée M. Beavers is fantastic because it's the best place to explore the reality of relationships — the good, the bad, and the painful and confusing. This podcast helps to illuminate what it means to be intimate with others and what it teaches people about them. It will make you want to strive for a kinder, more fun relationship with others., This a place where love flourishes, bonds deepen, and relationships thrive. We're Gil and Renee, authors, and marriage coaches, and we're honored to walk alongside you on your journey towards a rich and fulfilling partnership.
In a world where relationships can feel like a maze, we believe in providing you with the compass and map to navigate the path of love with confidence and grace. Whether you're single and seeking, newly dating, or preparing for marriage, our app is your sanctuary—a refuge where you can find guidance, support, and inspiration every step of the way.
https://www.richrrmarriagementors.com/book-online
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
We are live.
Hey, everyone, welcome, welcome, welcome.
We are so excited and gratefulthat you are here with us, and
I'm Renee.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And I'm Gil from the Rich Relationship Refuge.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And we are so excited about tonight's episode.
Please comment in the chat, askquestions, give feedback, give
us some hearts and some likesand all of that good stuff.
We want to just connect withyou guys tonight, and tonight we
are going to talk about.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
You've probably seen the crazy little intro that
Renee shot earlier.
I kind of photobombed it.
I didn't know what she wasdoing, but I just kind of jumped
in there just to see.
And well, actually she told mewhat it was going to be about,
but I didn't think she was goingto post it.
That's why I was acting alittle bit silly.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
No, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It's okay for you to be silly, so we're going to be
talking about a subject thatWell, let's show it first.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh well, hopefully somebody's watching, Like you're
trying to talk and the otherperson is, like you know.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Oh, I'm supposed to be like doing this.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yeah, it's like and I don't want to talk, no, I don't
want to talk.
Have you ever had that tohappen?
Have you ever tried tocommunicate with someone and
they decided they didn't want to?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Especially your significant other.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Or have you ever had a situation where someone put in
the comments Well, what if youdon't want to break the silence,
what if you want to remainsilent?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And that's a whole, nother episode.
But on the serious side, if you, if the person who put the
comment, if you want to chime inand put it in a chat we can
actually address it.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
We would love to talk and pray and resolve some of
the things you know.
I'm going to start off with thestory and I'm going to share
from my own life.
One of the things I know for afact about myself is that I am
constantly growing andconstantly changing and
(02:08):
constantly becoming, hopefully,the best version of myself.
And in order to do was, if youwant to ruffle my feathers or
(02:34):
get me riled up, just don't talkto me.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I can testify to that for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And you would think that, because for me, I feel
that communication is the bestway to resolve anything, and so
to not talk, to ignore.
And then the thing for me is,the longer you don't talk to me,
the longer I begin to be OKwith not talking to you.
And something that Laura showedme was about me was that, yeah,
(03:06):
that may be the way you'rewired, but, no matter what the
situation is, grace and kindnessand love have to motivate us
for everything that we do.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Right, right, and that's something that what we're
going to be talking abouttonight is called breaking
through silence.
Breaking through silencebecause this is something that
we believe and, from the yearsof working with couples, that we
know is a common habit, acommon pattern, and we're going
to talk about some of the thingsof why that actually happens,
and we want you to jump in thereand chime in on whichever
(03:42):
platform you're watching from,whether it's Facebook, linkedin.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Can you hear us?
Can you guys hear us?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
If somebody can chime in, that you can hear.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Let us know if you can hear us.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Just give us a thumbs up, or anything posted in the
comments.
But anyway.
So we're going to be talkingabout it and we welcome you and
we thank you for joining ustonight.
We are trying a differentplatform.
Normally we would just go livefrom YouTube, but we're actually
trying to stream it live frommultiple sources to multiple
places through StreamYard.
(04:12):
Yes, non-sponsored or anythinglike that.
We're not sponsored.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
but if you use the link in the description, we do
get a kickback from that, If youdecide to join, if you decide
to use the product.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, but that's not why we're doing it.
We did that just so we couldstrengthen our people, yeah, at
one time.
So thank you for just joining us, and we actually talked about
breaking the silence, andthrough the breaking the silence
, we're going to give you acouple of things that you can
take away from.
After 35 years of doing this asa married couple and happily
married, we have realized thatthere are things that I think
(04:48):
some people just don't know ormaybe not be aware of, and I
think it impacted us, and that'sall we're doing is sharing, so
you can take from us some of theexperience that we have after
35 years and incorporate it ormake you consciously aware of,
maybe something that may beprevalent in your relationship
right now.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, cause I'm, you know, because you work with
couples for going on 19 yearsnow, and I never understood how
someone and I know you knowgrowing up, you know me and my
god sister.
We were, we shared a room andthere'll be times that she would
just go, she could just nottalk to me, and and I was, of
course, you know, a kid, maybeyounger, but I realized, for me
(05:29):
I never understood how couplescould not talk to each other,
right, because Gil and I talkabout everything, and I think a
part of it is our temperamentsare I'm not a hothead and Gil's
not a hothead, so when thingshappen, we can always talk
through it, and for me, mymistake is I think I can be like
(05:51):
that with everyone, and therelationship that we've
developed and cultivated overreally 38 years because we dated
for 30 years before we gotmarried is not going to be the
gauge for every otherrelationship.
So I think that you may havesomething.
You may have something that youdo that you've mastered in one
area of your life, but in otherareas you may struggle, and so
(06:12):
understand that what works inone relationship can work in
other relationships if you dealwith it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Understand that the other person is going to be
different, and I think a part ofit is being consciously aware
of the things that you may bedoing and maybe habits that you
have when it comes to some ofthe things that are impacting
the relationship, and I thinkthe reason why this topic
resonated with me is becausethis was one of my common
practices when we first gotmarried or even when we were
(06:41):
dating, because it was just mynormal habit and, after maybe
peeling back some things andtalking to some people and
talking to you and talking tothem, you got to talk and you
got to open up.
So if you find it difficultwhere you don't open up, this is
something that you may want tostart practicing.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Let's talk about some of the reasons why.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, then that's what I was getting at, because
some of the things that you haveto be of is a wear up, so give
them the first one.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
That's something that may be one of the main reasons
why you may not know how to, oryou may not open up, is because
of past traumas.
You know, maybe when you'regrowing up somebody told you to
shut up.
When you're growing up you weretold you were stupid.
Maybe something happenedbecause last week we talked
about identity and so maybesomething happened in your past
(07:31):
that made you afraid of openingup, and so you have to overcome
that.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Absolutely, and you think about Thanks for coming in
whoever's here.
Thanks for joining us Hieveryone.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Hey Cam thanks for joining us everyone.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So when you think about those past traumas that
can impact it, it can becomethose habits that you've
developed and you may be notaware of it, and when you are
practicing it, even in yourregular relationships, it's
something that is going toimpact you to the part of wow,
how did I become aware of it?
But you have to do what wealways talk about in maybe some
of the past episodes.
(08:06):
It's taking that long journeyinward where you come in and you
look at what are the thingsthat have impacted me to the
point that it's causing me toshut down and to be silent and
to just not want to engage withthe people that matter the most.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
And you know, one of the things that I think we don't
realize when it comes tobreaking the silence is that
there's the person who is silent, and then there's the person
who's being affected by theperson who is silent.
Right, so, for me, I am neversilent.
That is not my practice, and sofor the like for you.
(08:41):
Because he used to be silent, Idon't think he realized the
impact of his silence on me.
And so if you're the person wholikes to withhold yourself and,
you know, use silence as aweapon, it doesn't just affect
you, it affects the peoplearound you and I don't think it
at the time I was using it orconsciously thinking of it as a
(09:01):
weapon, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Think for me it was two things Fear of the
communication aspect that Ididn't have to be able to
articulate how I felt or what Iwas thinking or what I was going
through or whatever the reasonwas that I was being silent.
That made me want to reallyshut down.
And when I shut down, just likeyou just said, I was
(09:22):
withholding myself from Renee tothe point that it was having an
impact in our relationship.
And if you have had that as apractice, sometimes you're not
even aware of it and it canactually, like Cam just said, it
can trigger things in you thatexperience that other people are
going to experience it to thepoint that it's going to have
this kind of big, big impact.
(09:43):
For me it was really avoidingconflict.
I hated it and it's weirdbecause, being in law
enforcement, all that kind ofstuff, you actually are trained
to deal with it, but when youare actually involved in your
personal life, all that is outthe window.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Isn't it amazing how you can be trained to do
something and know how to do it,but in real life, sometimes we
fail to execute it and practiceit.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Oh, yeah, oh, absolutely, definitely,
absolutely.
When it comes to actuallypracticing the things that we
know, we always say we don'thave a knowledge problem.
We have more of an applicationproblem, because most people
we're not.
Bible says there's nothing newunder the sun, which means you
probably heard a lot of thesethings before.
(10:28):
You probably have even alreadysay I know all this stuff.
Right, but the question stillremains how am I practicing?
How are we practicing it?
And it is something that you'regoing to constantly be
re-engaging and going over andover and over.
Another one that actually comesup to mind is the fear of
rejection.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, I think that's a big one.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
And when you think about the fear of rejection it
kind of spills into the other.
One of that I just alreadyremembered or mentioned of
avoiding conflict is the one ofbeing rejected.
Nobody likes the feeling ofrejected, whether it's being
picked last on the dodgeballteam when I was in the sixth
grade.
No, I don't have an issue withthat.
(11:08):
That's just not something thatI'm just saying.
I'm just picking that as areference, OK.
Ok, but I was good.
Yeah, I'm just.
I just want to put that outthere.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I was good at it, but when you are rejected.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
You know it can still hurt, it still can do some
damage, but fear of rejection,that's one, and it's weird
because you know what is reallylayered in Insecurity.
Sometimes we cannot be feelconfident in the things that we
are or, as as a person, that Iam and that I bring.
And we're talking about thisfrom the aspect of relationships
(11:40):
, and how are you interacting inyour relationships?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
We talk about how to break the silence.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah.
So if I'm already avoidingcommunication because I'm
insecure, how am I going tore-engage or even bring up or
talk about the things that arehindering me in the relationship
that I'm in?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
And you know what is really sad about what you, the
thing that's sad about silenceis, and you're afraid of being
rejected.
But silence causes isolation,and so the very thing that you
don't want is what your habitends up leading.
So it ends up leading you alone, right, and normally rejection
(12:22):
is a result.
You know, you feel alone, youfeel unwanted, and so that's why
it's important for the personwho knows better to do better,
because in any situation I loveyou know Eddie Sanders.
He says this if you have aslice of the pie, you have to be
nice.
Everyone has a part.
So the person who iswithholding and being silent and
(12:44):
the person who's being affectedby it has to be able to say huh
, what's my part in this?
What can I do different?
What do I need to do different?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
And that goes back to that you doing some personal
inventory and being 100 percentjust like Rene's shirt about
being 100% honest with yourselfand you have to be transparent
with yourself to say you knowwhat?
I have an issue and if you'renot willing to meet that issue
head on and address it, how canyou rightfully think that it's
going to get better in yourrelationship?
(13:17):
And it's probably not.
And we're sharing things withyou in this episode of Breaking
the Silence on the RichRelationship Ref refuge podcast
with Gil and Renee is thingsthat we have experienced and
that we're still living throughtoday.
We're not talking about justtheory based stuff.
We're just sharing with youguys the stuff that we've
actually have gone through andwe're going through and and
(13:38):
continue to go through, you know, because this is something that
we, while we even do this, isto share with the community all
the people who watch this onYouTube and all the other
platforms, and all that that.
This is the things that we haveto be really conscious of if we
want to have the marriages andthe kind of relationships that
we have.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, and I think a part of it is understanding that
there are practical things youhave to do, that I think
sometimes we don't know.
We know what the Bible says,but how do I apply that in my
life?
And I know for me, when thingshappen you have to ask yourself
why is that bothering me so much, why am I so upset about that?
(14:18):
So even when you're on thereceiving end of the silence,
you have to ask yourself Is itgoing to change?
Because I realized for me, thelonger I experience silence, the
more I upset I get, and then Igo from being upset to it
changing my disposition and mydemeanor and the way I do things
(14:42):
.
And that's on me.
And so I realized that, like Irealized a few, especially when
we were younger, like when hewould be quiet what's wrong,
what's wrong, what's wrong,what's wrong, what's wrong,
what's wrong.
And then, thankfully, becauseGil is not a hothead, he would
never blow up, but it made hisability to open up take longer.
(15:04):
So we have a part in no matterwhat we go through, we have a
part, part in it.
We have to make sure we own ourpart absolutely so.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
If you don't own your part, how can you be rightfully
expecting that you're going toget better?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
at it, because you're not going to grow, you're not
going to change.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh, no, you're not, you're not so.
So those are actually.
That's two or three, that'sthree self-esteem, that's
something you can talk aboutthis.
I'll let you start this one off.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Well for me, because I'm growing up I had very, very
low self-esteem and it tookyears and I talked about it for
Valentine's Day how you gave mea thing from Joyce Meyers,
healing the Brokenhearted.
It's seeing yourself the wayGod sees yourself.
You have to begin to have asense of self-esteem and it
(15:51):
comes from your identity inChrist.
And when you don't have that,it's so easy for your identity
to be in other people, andthat's why what other people do
and what they think and how theymake you feel can be so
important.
And so it's just important thatwe really began to get our
identity and our self-esteem notfrom what we wear, where we
(16:12):
drive, where we live, but fromour relationship.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Let me ask you this how much does self-doubt or play
in insecurity when it comes toas an individual?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
And see, you know what?
I learned this a long time agoyou can like the way you look,
you can have good self-esteemand have poor body image.
You can have good self-esteemand you can have a low level of
faith.
So it is because we'remultidimensional, it's never
(16:46):
just one thing.
So I may have high self-esteembut I may not trust God.
Right, you know which is?
It affects my faith.
So my doubt is big because thesource of my, the source of
where I get things from, issmall.
So I think that that's you know.
That's why your relationshipwith God is so important,
because it helps you to havehealthy self-esteem, it helps
you to have a great sense offaith, it helps you to have a
(17:09):
great sense of your value.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
And it's amazing because how this can actually
spill into you being silent inyour relationships, because when
you're struggling withsomething, whether it's from a
low self-esteem, past traumas,avoiding the conflict and all,
the things, or just not being agood communicator.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
That's another one.
Yeah, just not knowing.
Some people just don't know howto articulate their words.
They don't know how toarticulate their thoughts or
their feelings.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
How many times have you been in a conversation and
you walk away and say, man, Ishould have said this.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I wish I would have said this.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I wish I would have said that.
Why can't you do that in themidst of the situation?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
because some people are slow processors and so I
think a part of it, like for me,and gil gil always say oh lord,
don't, don't use your wordmachine gun on me.
And so I had to learn, I had toslow down, I had to give him
time to think through yes, yes,I was slow, y'all I was slow, I
was slow it in the in theprocessing category but you
(18:12):
still process.
You're just a processor it takestime yeah, and I'm quick with
it, so I can.
Because you was like how do youdo that?
How do you come up with ananswer within a split second?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I think that's a a superpower that women have.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I I just don't take it as a chauvinistic thing.
Not all women have.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
It's a superpower.
I firmly believe that that is asuperpower, everything has a
flip point.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
It's also a curse If it's not used.
You said, use your powers forgood and not for evil.
If it's not used, with love andgrace and kindness, that
superpower can become a curse.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, absolutely I love this, Just like you said,
hey Robin.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Hey, thank you for joining us.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
It's being analytical , like you're saying here,
camille, and when you are, andthat's me, and when I'm thinking
about something, I'm processingsomething because I want to get
it right.
And that is so important whenyou are in a relationship with
someone and you're trying tobuild it, If your habit is just
flying off and just going out.
(19:15):
And I'm not talking about thesilent side of this, this is the
flip side of that, wheresomebody is just quick to say
what they need to say that comesout.
Guess what that's going to do?
That's going to trigger aperson who is silent to go
inward, and when they go inward,they are going to start
shutting down.
And if it's going to becounterproductive to what you're
(19:35):
trying to do, which is tocommunicate, because we all want
to be understood, we all wantto be heard, we all want to have
a level of understanding witheach other that we can build
upon in our relationships, butwhen we have these barriers of
breaking silence that's whatwe're talking about tonight.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
If you're just now joining us and we thank you, and
if you're just joining us andyou don't follow us and you do
not subscribe, please follow us.
Please subscribe, please like,please become a part of our
community, because you areimportant and what you bring to
the community is something thatwe all need.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I like this, Robin, that you said that I never spoke
up because I avoided conflict.
Now I understand to say what isneeded in the love and honesty
that kind of goes back to that.
That is the point that we haveto get to as individuals, that
we are clear about what it isthat we want to say and speak up
.
Especially, and you know, whatcan be challenging and this is
(20:30):
something that kind of spilledover into me was if you already
have a communication deficit, orwhen I say that, what I mean by
a deficit is you have troubleexpressing how you feel.
This is something that I haveto say.
This was something that my wifewas very, very instrumental in
in helping me to understand andprocess what I was feeling,
(20:51):
cause it got to the point wherewife was very, very instrumental
in helping me to understand andprocess what I was feeling,
because it got to the pointwhere it was like so that's what
that is.
If I'm feeling insecure aboutsomething or I'm feeling
vulnerable about something thatI may be sharing, if I break my
silence and I'm talking about itand then she kind of is not
(21:12):
very loving and kind, just likeyou're saying, and honest about
what I'm saying, guess whatthat's going to make me do.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Because a part of it is.
It's like we're all learning,we're all growing.
So, just like someone who isquiet has to learn how to use
their voice, but we have to be asafe place for them to learn
how to use their voice.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
For those of us who know how to use your voice, but
we have to learn how to use ourears and so it's important,
especially just like you'resaying, when you give Camille,
saying when you're being rushedwithout being having time to
process or really think aboutwhat it is that you want to say.
Those words elude you, itescapes you because you're not
(21:53):
able to bring them up at theright time to say the right
thing, because you want tocommunicate with the right thing
, but you feel hindered.
And if you're feeling hinderedit's because-.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
It's not telling what you're going to say.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And you don't want to say the wrong thing because
that's going to make the personshut down even more.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
And I think that in couples, where you have two
hotheads, and then you have twohotheads, and then you have a
person who is a quick processorand a person who is a slow
processor, I think that, whilesilence may be a big issue, but
blowing up is even a worse issue, and so it's just learning.
How do I do I process?
(22:31):
Am I a processor?
Am I a processor?
I'm a quick or slow processor.
It's getting to know yourself,because everybody you're going
to be in a relationship with isgoing to be different from you,
and it's, yeah, it's going to bedifferent.
I know you know, and so it'sjust understanding that I think
that through life, we have to bewilling to always look at
ourselves and say, okay, I'm inthis situation and I may not
(22:52):
have been the source of it, butI'm in it.
So what do I need to dodifferent?
Where do I need to adjust?
Where do I need to make coursecorrections?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Right, so if you just join us, we thank you for just
hanging out with us.
You know we're doing this on aSaturday night, for change.
We try different times.
We've jumping around time framewise to try to reach as many
people as we possibly can, butwe know a lot of people are
still going to be watching thisat a later time.
Yes, you can always put thingsin the comments.
You can go to the website, theweb page, and, just hey, put
your comments in there.
If you have a suggestion for anepisode or a topic that you
(23:23):
want us to cover, we will dothat yes, we will.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
We will talk about.
If you have a question in thechat, put it in the chat.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I like this.
Camilla and Robin have beenputting stuff down here.
I've been reading.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Thank you guys, thank you for participating, because
a part of it is that you don'trealize something that you share
might be something someone elseneeds, because we know we don't
have all the answers.
That's the purpose of communitywe all bring something
beautiful to the table thatsomeone else may need to hear,
and so always be open to sharing, and to sharing your comments
(23:54):
and your feelings, your thoughts, your views.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Absolutely, Just like Camille just said, singles oh
man, this is the time where youcan be practicing these things
and being made aware of thethings that we're kind of
talking about right now nosingles help us out here.
You know I can take that twoways.
I'm thinking that there's somesingle people who are on here
jump in there and talk about thethings that why are you silent
(24:17):
in your relationships when itcomes to things, but also topics
?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Or are you asking for topics for?
Are you asking for topics forsingles?
Because we have a bunch ofepisodes that we have done about
singles?
Is there a specific topic youwant us to talk about?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Because we'll bring it up and we'll bring you on.
Then you can be that boy.
You want to be the mouthpiece,you want to be the vocal boy.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
We're going to start doing more interviews with other
couples and with singles,because that's something we used
to do in the beginning and wereally loved it and I think that
that would be a nice change forthe way we create content.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Nice change for the way we create content and we
want to be able to make thecommunity a part of what we're
creating.
So, robin, yeah, I appreciateyou saying that about the time
change, because that's whatwe're trying to do to find the
best time change, because weknow everybody has life and
everybody got things going on.
Everybody has life to live,especially, but when it comes to
your relationships, when do youhave time to work on your
relationships?
And that's what we're trying todo is make a contribution, make
(25:14):
a deposit in you, but we wantto set a time.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
That can be a routine where you know okay, so what
time?
So is it Saturday morning workbetter.
You guys put that in the chatIf you're watching this now or
later put in the comments if youprefer Saturday morning or if
you prefer Saturday night.
It will be on Saturday, we'repretty flexible y'all.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
We'll do what's ever best for the community at large.
So we join you.
We thank you for jumping in andhanging out with us for the
time, even if you can't stay forthe whole time, because we
don't want to waste your time.
We want to bring value and addthings to you as it pertains to
relationships, but we also wantto hear your voice.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
We want to hear what you have to say and you know
what you're thinking and what'sgoing on in your heart, because
this is a place for us, a safeplace for us to share and for us
to grow.
And if there's things you wantto talk about that you don't
want to talk about openly, youcan send us an email at
richrelationshiprefuge atgmailcom, and we'll respond to
you and we'll get to you.
Know, because we had such greatcomments.
(26:14):
We read them all.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Everyone.
This is a sidebar, but thosewho are watching, who are just
chiming in and Renee don't evenknow I'm going to say this, but
I didn't mean nothing about theeyelashes.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh love oh baby it was just a comment.
It was just a comment, it wasjust something Okay, so we're
now on TikTok y'all, and TikTokis a different culture, a
different environment and thesame video that I should have.
The same video that we put onthe other platforms.
We put on TikTok and we got somany women.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
They definitely were.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
What makes men think that we do that for them?
We do that for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
See, camille know what I'm talking about.
Love my flashes, camille, youknow me.
I'm not harsh.
I'm not trying to be harsh, butall I made was a comment.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Well, actually it was my fault, because Gil was
talking to me and I said um,because I?
You know, we have men in ourcommunity.
I was doing a video and justtalking to women I said hey guys
, if you think I said, gil saidhe doesn't think long eyelashes
are pretty.
And so, men, if you don't thinkI'm long eyelashes and make
pretty, put it in the comments.
I wasn't saying that women doit for me.
(27:29):
I was trying to include the menin our community in the video.
I will never do that again.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
But again it got good engagement, it did but it was
scary.
But you know what?
Also, what we're talking abouttonight is about breaking the
silence.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Breaking the silence, and that could be breaking the
silence of we were talking to afriend.
I think we need to break thesilence of the expectations we
have of dating.
Or uncommunicated expectations,uncommunicated expectations.
I think that, unfortunately, somany times we have
uncommunicated expectations andwe need to.
(28:04):
We owe it to the people aroundus to share what we want, what
we need, how we feel, what wethink, but sometimes, once you
say it out loud, you're like isthat crazy, the things you keep
inside of you?
I always say you don't keepsecrets, they keep you.
Share talk.
(28:24):
If you can't, if you, if you'renot a good communicator, write
it down.
You know.
And for those of us who aregood communicators and people
are not good communicators givethem time, be patient be,
gracious.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And, as we're talking about the breaking through the
silence, one thing that I cansay, even from the list that
we're talking about and thethings that we share we're
talking about traumas andrejection.
Those are all realcommunication deficiencies, but
there are sometimes.
You can have things that arejust naturally in you.
That doesn't mean that you'rejust not afraid to break the
(28:59):
silence, like being an introvert, or you're just naturally shy.
That's one of the things thathappens to someone who has those
traits.
It's not that you don't want tobreak the silence, it's just
that's a part of who you are.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Sometimes you don't know, and that's why it's
important to have friends indifferent stages of your life
and from different places,because you get to be exposed to
, because, like with you beingso quiet, it taught me oh man,
there's a whole world out here.
You just learn how to listenand and not like for him.
He would probably say I taughthim to talk and so you need
someone in your life that'sgoing to help make you the best
(29:33):
version of yourself right, andeven for the, for those are our
viewers, who are shy, naturally.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
yeah, that is okay as long as you're not insecure or
insignificant.
Well, like I was yeah, I wasgoing to say some of the other
things that we talked aboutalready on this episode but if
you have, like, a communicationdeficit and you're shy and
you're introverted, that's ahuge obstacle that you have to
(30:00):
overcome because, by breakingthe silence, that's a habit that
you're going to have to develop, it's a skill.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It is a skill.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It can be learned.
You know we all go throughthings that are.
All the lists that we'veprovided to you tonight are
things that are impacting your,your communication style
primarily, especially when itcomes about breaking the silence
, because by breaking thesilence, that means you're
communicating.
So all the things that we'retalking about are naturally
(30:29):
embedded in us throughexperiences and things that have
happened to us, and conflictsand avoidance and all these
different things.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
And I want to say this it is okay and healthy to
be saved, believe in Jesus,speak in tongues, go to church
and have a therapist.
Sometimes you might need apsychotherapist, and that's okay
.
We need to stop making it likesomething is wrong with you when
(30:56):
you see a therapist.
No, I think that most of usthere's something wrong with us
because we don't think we needto.
We all need.
It could be through books, itcould be through courses, it
could be through physicallygoing through a therapist, but
you need to know the areas ofyour life that are broken and
wounded and that are hinderingyou from being the greatest
version of yourself.
And sometimes you need amarriage coach, you may need a
(31:18):
lifestyle coach, you may need atherapist, you need a team.
You need more than just you.
We'll never become everythingthat God has called us to become
by ourselves.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Because that's what we try to do, even in these
episodes and the lives and allthe things that we try to bring
to you guys is just thecommunity aspect.
The community aspect because werealized early in our
relationship that we weren'tgoing to figure it all out on
our own.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Because, think about it, you can only do as much as
you have the capacity inside ofyou.
Well, yes, the word of God, andGod gives you things beyond your
wisdom but then you still needpeople, because everything you
think you know, oh baby, it'sgoing to be tested.
It's going to be a practicetest.
It's going to be because we saywe believe these things.
(32:03):
But then guess what, when lifehappens to us, how do we respond
?
How do we react?
How do we practice it?
And so in life, you're going tohave to learn how to interact
with and to get along with andto develop relationships with
people other than you.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
So what we're talking about is breaking the silence,
and I got one more that we canbring up other than you.
So what we're talking about isbreaking the silence, and I got
one more that we can bring up,and this is something that I
think affects our community.
A lot is cultural.
When I was growing up, onething that I was told and you
probably can finish thissentence what?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
goes on at home, stays in our house.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
And that is true to a point Right.
What I'm talking about is whenit gets to the point where you
have developed a habit and apattern of not talking about
anything because you were toldto be quiet and to keep silent
because of cultural things thathave happened.
There are some cultural things,that about keeping silent and
(32:58):
being.
You know, the old adage backway, way, way back before we
were growing up, was there werecertain positions in certain
places that certain gendersneeded to stay in.
You know, like when men used tojust be in a room by themselves
and women couldn't even beinvolved and couldn't talk or
couldn't bring up that they justneed to serve and do those
types of things.
Those days are long gone, longgone.
(33:21):
You try to tell somebody tokeep quiet.
I don't care what culture theyare, what well, especially at
one, I don't care what cultureshe comes from or what ethnicity
she comes from.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Our voice is turned on honey.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Oh it's going, you're going to hear about it, but
sometimes that can be ahindrance in some people
overcoming oh yeah, absolutelyso.
Keeping that silence because ofcultural background, it's OK if
that's a part of your naturalintroversion and you shy the
point that you're not beingheard and you're being
(34:02):
suppressed in your vocalcapabilities and your vocal
communication and your talk andyour emotions.
That's something that isdefinitely going to impact your
relationship.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
So what do you do?
So how do you fix it?
I mean, what do you do goingforward?
How do you fix it?
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
First thing I would say is something that I think
gets developed is listening andobserving.
When I say listening, I'mtalking about all the stuff when
it comes to breaking thesilence, if someone is deciding
to share things with you andtalk to you and communicate to
you, listen to them, especiallyif it's your significant other,
if they have finally tried toexercise that thing, you have to
(34:41):
listen to them, to understand,not to respond, because if we
get into a habit of alreadythinking about what we want to
say, whether it's a normalconflict or just a natural
conversation, that means you'renot listening If you can't
listen.
People talk to us and they talkabout how we engage in these
(35:01):
videos and we're doing this live, and how we pitter patter back
off, back and forth off eachother.
Well, some of that hasdeveloped over time because
we've been with each other forso long, because we respect and
value each other.
But the other side of that isjust kind of what I was getting
to is we listen, we listen towhat you're saying in the
comments and try to incorporatethat and listen to understand.
Even if you don't agree withthe person that you're in
(35:29):
conversation with, it's OK.
But as long as you empathizeand listen to what they're
saying and listen to understand,it can be very effective in
breaking the silence.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
One of the things I would say that's important to do
is to always, always, always,extend grace and be kind,
because one of the things theLord showed me was grace is not
pulling people at my pace, graceis walking in theirs.
(35:57):
Kindness is not earned.
Earned kindness is a basicessential that, as believers, we
should be extending to everysingle person we come in contact
with.
And so, just thinking aboutthat, you know, one of the
things the Lord showed me wasbecause you know, I was like
it's right and it's the truth.
Well, after you get donetelling them what's right and
it's the truth, can you tellthem about Jesus?
(36:18):
If you, after you get donetelling the person what you want
to say, can you then turnaround?
And so, if not, so yeah, are wegonna miss it?
Are we gonna get it right everytime?
We're gonna miss it and we'renot gonna get it right every
time.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
So, therefore, we have to extend grace to
ourselves as well as the oldsaying goes, is it better to be
right or get it right?
Which one are you trying toachieve?
Which one are you trying toaccomplish, especially in our
relationships, as we're talkingabout breaking through the
silence?
You want to get to that point,to where, when the silence is
(36:53):
broken, these are the thingsthat you want to get into a
natural habit.
Another one social interaction.
Sometimes you got to read theroom y'all.
Yeah, you got to be veryconscious of your surroundings
and the people that you'retalking to.
That's a part of things thatare positive.
Now we're talking about socialinteraction.
When you're thinking about itin this form, putting what
(37:18):
you're putting in the chat, andif we're in the one that we got
multiple screens up and multiplepeople are talking, that's okay
, but you have to be consciousand aware of your interaction
with other people.
I'm just reading some of thecomments.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I'm trying kind of jumping back and forth but you
know, I think a part of readingthe room and it's funny because
even little kids like liza, hewould look at me like why are
you looking like that?
He's like what are you thinking?
He gets sick.
So reading the room begins tobe something that you do very
early and being aware of whatare we communicating with our
(37:54):
nonverbals?
You know, if we want, you knowthe Bible says in order to have
friends, you've got to befriendly.
If we want, you know the Biblesays in order to have friends
you've got to be friendly.
So we can't sit in a corner byourself away from everybody and
say I don't have any friends andno one wants to be my friend.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
We have to be willing to do our part.
Practice it when I say practiceit when you have decided to
break the silence and come outof the shell and talk about and
try to not do the things we'vealready talked about and you
start to open up and start.
You have to.
It's going to be weird in thebeginning.
It's going to be something thatit's just like working out.
(38:32):
How painful that is when youfirst start working out because
you hadn't, whether it hadn'tbeen in the gym for a while, or
it's a whole new exercise thatyou learn new muscles.
It's a new, new new thingsalways feel a little odd in the
beginning, especially if it's awhole new exercise that you
learn.
It's a new muscle.
It's a new, new, new thingsalways feel a little odd in the
beginning, especially if it'ssomething that you're trying to
incorporate into yourpersonality.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Especially if it's something that you've never done
before and it's not your normallife.
For me, when I'm learning howto be quiet, it's like what?
I don't talk, oh my God, who doyou think I talk?
But as you begin to practice it, it becomes more natural, and
so anything that you want to getgood at, you've got to just do
it.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Yep.
So we just wanted to share thisstuff with you guys tonight.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
We thank you guys for hanging out with us.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
We went a little bit over the time that we normally
allow.
We try to keep it under about ahalf hour because we know
everybody has other things thatthey're trying to do, but we
appreciate you guys hanging outwith us.
We hope you we bring some valueand some some things that maybe
you're aware of I hope it wasfun and we hope it was
informative.
Thanks for camille and robinreally engaging, thank you guys,
(39:34):
appreciate you guys who is thatbuilding the whole?
Speaker 1 (39:37):
you hey we love y'all we appreciate you, you guys, so
much.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Thank you, guys for hanging out.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
So please share this video with one person.
Everybody share with one personand leave a comment on whatever
platform you're on, and if youdidn't subscribe, please
subscribe If you didn't like andfollow.
Please do that.
It really helps us, becausewhen you do that, that helps us
to help other people.
(40:04):
So we love you and we're sograteful to be able to serve you
guys.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Because we appreciate it, because we know this is an
investment in your time, sodon't take it lightly.
We really appreciate it, welove you guys and we will see
you guys next week same time,yep same time.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
We're going know stick here next week all right,
let us know we love you guys.
We'll see you guys again nextsaturday have a good night.
Have a great week.
Remember you are more thanenough in christ jesus.
Use your voice.
People need to hear what youhave to say.
We are live.
Hey, everyone, welcome, welcome, welcome.
We are so excited and gratefulthat you are here with us, and
I'm Renee.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And I'm Gil from the Rich Relationship Refuge.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And we are so excited about tonight's episode.
Please comment in the chat, askquestions, give feedback, give
us some hearts and some likesand all of that good stuff.
We want to just connect withyou guys tonight, and tonight we
are going to talk about.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
You've probably seen the crazy little intro that
Renee shot earlier.
I kind of photobombed it.
I didn't know what she wasdoing, but I just kind of jumped
in there just to see.
And well, actually she told mewhat it was going to be about,
but I didn't think she was goingto post it.
That's why I was acting alittle bit silly.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
No, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It's okay for you to be silly, so we're going to be
talking about a subject thatWell, let's show it first.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh well, hopefully somebody's watching, Like you're
trying to talk and the otherperson is, like you know.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Oh, I'm supposed to be like doing this.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yeah, it's like and I don't want to talk, no, I don't
want to talk.
Have you ever had that tohappen?
Have you ever tried tocommunicate with someone and
they decided they didn't want to?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Especially your significant other.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Or have you ever had a situation where someone put in
the comments Well, what if youdon't want to break the silence,
what if you want to remainsilent?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And that's a whole, nother episode.
But on the serious side, if you, if the person who put the
comment, if you want to chime inand put it in a chat we can
actually address it.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
We would love to talk and pray and resolve some of
the things you know.
I'm going to start off with thestory and I'm going to share
from my own life.
One of the things I know for afact about myself is that I am
constantly growing andconstantly changing and
(02:08):
constantly becoming, hopefully,the best version of myself.
And in order to do was, if youwant to ruffle my feathers or
(02:34):
get me riled up, just don't talkto me.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I can testify to that for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And you would think that, because for me, I feel
that communication is the bestway to resolve anything, and so
to not talk, to ignore.
And then the thing for me is,the longer you don't talk to me,
the longer I begin to be OKwith not talking to you.
And something that Laura showedme was about me was that, yeah,
(03:06):
that may be the way you'rewired, but, no matter what the
situation is, grace and kindnessand love have to motivate us
for everything that we do.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Right, right, and that's something that what we're
going to be talking abouttonight is called breaking
through silence.
Breaking through silencebecause this is something that
we believe and, from the yearsof working with couples, that we
know is a common habit, acommon pattern, and we're going
to talk about some of the thingsof why that actually happens,
and we want you to jump in thereand chime in on whichever
(03:42):
platform you're watching from,whether it's Facebook, linkedin.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Can you hear us?
Can you guys hear us?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
If somebody can chime in, that you can hear.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Let us know if you can hear us.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Just give us a thumbs up, or anything posted in the
comments.
But anyway.
So we're going to be talkingabout it and we welcome you and
we thank you for joining ustonight.
We are trying a differentplatform.
Normally we would just go livefrom YouTube, but we're actually
trying to stream it live frommultiple sources to multiple
places through StreamYard.
(04:12):
Yes, non-sponsored or anythinglike that.
We're not sponsored.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
but if you use the link in the description, we do
get a kickback from that, If youdecide to join, if you decide
to use the product.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, but that's not why we're doing it.
We did that just so we couldstrengthen our people, yeah, at
one time.
So thank you for just joining us, and we actually talked about
breaking the silence, andthrough the breaking the silence
, we're going to give you acouple of things that you can
take away from.
After 35 years of doing this asa married couple and happily
married, we have realized thatthere are things that I think
(04:48):
some people just don't know ormaybe not be aware of, and I
think it impacted us, and that'sall we're doing is sharing, so
you can take from us some of theexperience that we have after
35 years and incorporate it ormake you consciously aware of,
maybe something that may beprevalent in your relationship
right now.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, cause I'm, you know, because you work with
couples for going on 19 yearsnow, and I never understood how
someone and I know you knowgrowing up, you know me and my
god sister.
We were, we shared a room andthere'll be times that she would
just go, she could just nottalk to me, and and I was, of
course, you know, a kid, maybeyounger, but I realized, for me
(05:29):
I never understood how couplescould not talk to each other,
right, because Gil and I talkabout everything, and I think a
part of it is our temperamentsare I'm not a hothead and Gil's
not a hothead, so when thingshappen, we can always talk
through it, and for me, mymistake is I think I can be like
(05:51):
that with everyone, and therelationship that we've
developed and cultivated overreally 38 years because we dated
for 30 years before we gotmarried is not going to be the
gauge for every otherrelationship.
So I think that you may havesomething.
You may have something that youdo that you've mastered in one
area of your life, but in otherareas you may struggle, and so
(06:12):
understand that what works inone relationship can work in
other relationships if you dealwith it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Understand that the other person is going to be
different, and I think a part ofit is being consciously aware
of the things that you may bedoing and maybe habits that you
have when it comes to some ofthe things that are impacting
the relationship, and I thinkthe reason why this topic
resonated with me is becausethis was one of my common
practices when we first gotmarried or even when we were
(06:41):
dating, because it was just mynormal habit and, after maybe
peeling back some things andtalking to some people and
talking to you and talking tothem, you got to talk and you
got to open up.
So if you find it difficultwhere you don't open up, this is
something that you may want tostart practicing.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Let's talk about some of the reasons why.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, then that's what I was getting at, because
some of the things that you haveto be of is a wear up, so give
them the first one.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
That's something that may be one of the main reasons
why you may not know how to, oryou may not open up, is because
of past traumas.
You know, maybe when you'regrowing up somebody told you to
shut up.
When you're growing up you weretold you were stupid.
Maybe something happenedbecause last week we talked
about identity and so maybesomething happened in your past
(07:31):
that made you afraid of openingup, and so you have to overcome
that.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Absolutely, and you think about Thanks for coming in
whoever's here.
Thanks for joining us Hieveryone.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Hey Cam thanks for joining us everyone.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So when you think about those past traumas that
can impact it, it can becomethose habits that you've
developed and you may be notaware of it, and when you are
practicing it, even in yourregular relationships, it's
something that is going toimpact you to the part of wow,
how did I become aware of it?
But you have to do what wealways talk about in maybe some
of the past episodes.
(08:06):
It's taking that long journeyinward where you come in and you
look at what are the thingsthat have impacted me to the
point that it's causing me toshut down and to be silent and
to just not want to engage withthe people that matter the most.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
And you know, one of the things that I think we don't
realize when it comes tobreaking the silence is that
there's the person who is silent, and then there's the person
who's being affected by theperson who is silent.
Right, so, for me, I am neversilent.
That is not my practice, and sofor the like for you.
(08:41):
Because he used to be silent, Idon't think he realized the
impact of his silence on me.
And so if you're the person wholikes to withhold yourself and,
you know, use silence as aweapon, it doesn't just affect
you, it affects the peoplearound you and I don't think it
at the time I was using it orconsciously thinking of it as a
(09:01):
weapon, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Think for me it was two things Fear of the
communication aspect that Ididn't have to be able to
articulate how I felt or what Iwas thinking or what I was going
through or whatever the reasonwas that I was being silent.
That made me want to reallyshut down.
And when I shut down, just likeyou just said, I was
(09:22):
withholding myself from Renee tothe point that it was having an
impact in our relationship.
And if you have had that as apractice, sometimes you're not
even aware of it and it canactually, like Cam just said, it
can trigger things in you thatexperience that other people are
going to experience it to thepoint that it's going to have
this kind of big, big impact.
(09:43):
For me it was really avoidingconflict.
I hated it and it's weirdbecause, being in law
enforcement, all that kind ofstuff, you actually are trained
to deal with it, but when youare actually involved in your
personal life, all that is outthe window.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Isn't it amazing how you can be trained to do
something and know how to do it,but in real life, sometimes we
fail to execute it and practiceit.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Oh, yeah, oh, absolutely, definitely,
absolutely.
When it comes to actuallypracticing the things that we
know, we always say we don'thave a knowledge problem.
We have more of an applicationproblem, because most people
we're not.
Bible says there's nothing newunder the sun, which means you
probably heard a lot of thesethings before.
(10:28):
You probably have even alreadysay I know all this stuff.
Right, but the question stillremains how am I practicing?
How are we practicing it?
And it is something that you'regoing to constantly be
re-engaging and going over andover and over.
Another one that actually comesup to mind is the fear of
rejection.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, I think that's a big one.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
And when you think about the fear of rejection it
kind of spills into the other.
One of that I just alreadyremembered or mentioned of
avoiding conflict is the one ofbeing rejected.
Nobody likes the feeling ofrejected, whether it's being
picked last on the dodgeballteam when I was in the sixth
grade.
No, I don't have an issue withthat.
(11:08):
That's just not something thatI'm just saying.
I'm just picking that as areference, OK.
Ok, but I was good.
Yeah, I'm just.
I just want to put that outthere.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I was good at it, but when you are rejected.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
You know it can still hurt, it still can do some
damage, but fear of rejection,that's one, and it's weird
because you know what is reallylayered in Insecurity.
Sometimes we cannot be feelconfident in the things that we
are or, as as a person, that Iam and that I bring.
And we're talking about thisfrom the aspect of relationships
(11:40):
, and how are you interacting inyour relationships?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
We talk about how to break the silence.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah.
So if I'm already avoidingcommunication because I'm
insecure, how am I going tore-engage or even bring up or
talk about the things that arehindering me in the relationship
that I'm in?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
And you know what is really sad about what you, the
thing that's sad about silenceis, and you're afraid of being
rejected.
But silence causes isolation,and so the very thing that you
don't want is what your habitends up leading.
So it ends up leading you alone, right, and normally rejection
(12:22):
is a result.
You know, you feel alone, youfeel unwanted, and so that's why
it's important for the personwho knows better to do better,
because in any situation I loveyou know Eddie Sanders.
He says this if you have aslice of the pie, you have to be
nice.
Everyone has a part.
So the person who iswithholding and being silent and
(12:44):
the person who's being affectedby it has to be able to say huh
, what's my part in this?
What can I do different?
What do I need to do different?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
And that goes back to that you doing some personal
inventory and being 100 percentjust like Rene's shirt about
being 100% honest with yourselfand you have to be transparent
with yourself to say you knowwhat?
I have an issue and if you'renot willing to meet that issue
head on and address it, how canyou rightfully think that it's
going to get better in yourrelationship?
(13:17):
And it's probably not.
And we're sharing things withyou in this episode of Breaking
the Silence on the RichRelationship Ref refuge podcast
with Gil and Renee is thingsthat we have experienced and
that we're still living throughtoday.
We're not talking about justtheory based stuff.
We're just sharing with youguys the stuff that we've
actually have gone through andwe're going through and and
(13:38):
continue to go through, you know, because this is something that
we, while we even do this, isto share with the community all
the people who watch this onYouTube and all the other
platforms, and all that that.
This is the things that we haveto be really conscious of if we
want to have the marriages andthe kind of relationships that
we have.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, and I think a part of it is understanding that
there are practical things youhave to do, that I think
sometimes we don't know.
We know what the Bible says,but how do I apply that in my
life?
And I know for me, when thingshappen you have to ask yourself
why is that bothering me so much, why am I so upset about that?
(14:18):
So even when you're on thereceiving end of the silence,
you have to ask yourself Is itgoing to change?
Because I realized for me, thelonger I experience silence, the
more I upset I get, and then Igo from being upset to it
changing my disposition and mydemeanor and the way I do things
(14:42):
.
And that's on me.
And so I realized that, like Irealized a few, especially when
we were younger, like when hewould be quiet what's wrong,
what's wrong, what's wrong,what's wrong, what's wrong,
what's wrong.
And then, thankfully, becauseGil is not a hothead, he would
never blow up, but it made hisability to open up take longer.
(15:04):
So we have a part in no matterwhat we go through, we have a
part, part in it.
We have to make sure we own ourpart absolutely so.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
If you don't own your part, how can you be rightfully
expecting that you're going toget better?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
at it, because you're not going to grow, you're not
going to change.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh, no, you're not, you're not so.
So those are actually.
That's two or three, that'sthree self-esteem, that's
something you can talk aboutthis.
I'll let you start this one off.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Well for me, because I'm growing up I had very, very
low self-esteem and it tookyears and I talked about it for
Valentine's Day how you gave mea thing from Joyce Meyers,
healing the Brokenhearted.
It's seeing yourself the wayGod sees yourself.
You have to begin to have asense of self-esteem and it
(15:51):
comes from your identity inChrist.
And when you don't have that,it's so easy for your identity
to be in other people, andthat's why what other people do
and what they think and how theymake you feel can be so
important.
And so it's just important thatwe really began to get our
identity and our self-esteem notfrom what we wear, where we
(16:12):
drive, where we live, but fromour relationship.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Let me ask you this how much does self-doubt or play
in insecurity when it comes toas an individual?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
And see, you know what?
I learned this a long time agoyou can like the way you look,
you can have good self-esteemand have poor body image.
You can have good self-esteemand you can have a low level of
faith.
So it is because we'remultidimensional, it's never
(16:46):
just one thing.
So I may have high self-esteembut I may not trust God.
Right, you know which is?
It affects my faith.
So my doubt is big because thesource of my, the source of
where I get things from, issmall.
So I think that that's you know.
That's why your relationshipwith God is so important,
because it helps you to havehealthy self-esteem, it helps
you to have a great sense offaith, it helps you to have a
(17:09):
great sense of your value.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
And it's amazing because how this can actually
spill into you being silent inyour relationships, because when
you're struggling withsomething, whether it's from a
low self-esteem, past traumas,avoiding the conflict and all,
the things, or just not being agood communicator.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
That's another one.
Yeah, just not knowing.
Some people just don't know howto articulate their words.
They don't know how toarticulate their thoughts or
their feelings.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
How many times have you been in a conversation and
you walk away and say, man, Ishould have said this.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I wish I would have said this.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I wish I would have said that.
Why can't you do that in themidst of the situation?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
because some people are slow processors and so I
think a part of it, like for me,and gil gil always say oh lord,
don't, don't use your wordmachine gun on me.
And so I had to learn, I had toslow down, I had to give him
time to think through yes, yes,I was slow, y'all I was slow, I
was slow it in the in theprocessing category but you
(18:12):
still process.
You're just a processor it takestime yeah, and I'm quick with
it, so I can.
Because you was like how do youdo that?
How do you come up with ananswer within a split second?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I think that's a a superpower that women have.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I I just don't take it as a chauvinistic thing.
Not all women have.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
It's a superpower.
I firmly believe that that is asuperpower, everything has a
flip point.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
It's also a curse If it's not used.
You said, use your powers forgood and not for evil.
If it's not used, with love andgrace and kindness, that
superpower can become a curse.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, absolutely I love this, Just like you said,
hey Robin.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Hey, thank you for joining us.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
It's being analytical , like you're saying here,
camille, and when you are, andthat's me, and when I'm thinking
about something, I'm processingsomething because I want to get
it right.
And that is so important whenyou are in a relationship with
someone and you're trying tobuild it, If your habit is just
flying off and just going out.
(19:15):
And I'm not talking about thesilent side of this, this is the
flip side of that, wheresomebody is just quick to say
what they need to say that comesout.
Guess what that's going to do?
That's going to trigger aperson who is silent to go
inward, and when they go inward,they are going to start
shutting down.
And if it's going to becounterproductive to what you're
(19:35):
trying to do, which is tocommunicate, because we all want
to be understood, we all wantto be heard, we all want to have
a level of understanding witheach other that we can build
upon in our relationships, butwhen we have these barriers of
breaking silence that's whatwe're talking about tonight.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
If you're just now joining us and we thank you, and
if you're just joining us andyou don't follow us and you do
not subscribe, please follow us.
Please subscribe, please like,please become a part of our
community, because you areimportant and what you bring to
the community is something thatwe all need.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I like this, Robin, that you said that I never spoke
up because I avoided conflict.
Now I understand to say what isneeded in the love and honesty
that kind of goes back to that.
That is the point that we haveto get to as individuals, that
we are clear about what it isthat we want to say and speak up
.
Especially, and you know, whatcan be challenging and this is
(20:30):
something that kind of spilledover into me was if you already
have a communication deficit, orwhen I say that, what I mean by
a deficit is you have troubleexpressing how you feel.
This is something that I haveto say.
This was something that my wifewas very, very instrumental in
in helping me to understand andprocess what I was feeling,
(20:51):
cause it got to the point wherewife was very, very instrumental
in helping me to understand andprocess what I was feeling,
because it got to the pointwhere it was like so that's what
that is.
If I'm feeling insecure aboutsomething or I'm feeling
vulnerable about something thatI may be sharing, if I break my
silence and I'm talking about itand then she kind of is not
(21:12):
very loving and kind, just likeyou're saying, and honest about
what I'm saying, guess whatthat's going to make me do.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Because a part of it is.
It's like we're all learning,we're all growing.
So, just like someone who isquiet has to learn how to use
their voice, but we have to be asafe place for them to learn
how to use their voice.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
For those of us who know how to use your voice, but
we have to learn how to use ourears and so it's important,
especially just like you'resaying, when you give Camille,
saying when you're being rushedwithout being having time to
process or really think aboutwhat it is that you want to say.
Those words elude you, itescapes you because you're not
(21:53):
able to bring them up at theright time to say the right
thing, because you want tocommunicate with the right thing
, but you feel hindered.
And if you're feeling hinderedit's because-.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
It's not telling what you're going to say.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And you don't want to say the wrong thing because
that's going to make the personshut down even more.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
And I think that in couples, where you have two
hotheads, and then you have twohotheads, and then you have a
person who is a quick processorand a person who is a slow
processor, I think that, whilesilence may be a big issue, but
blowing up is even a worse issue, and so it's just learning.
How do I do I process?
(22:31):
Am I a processor?
Am I a processor?
I'm a quick or slow processor.
It's getting to know yourself,because everybody you're going
to be in a relationship with isgoing to be different from you,
and it's, yeah, it's going to bedifferent.
I know you know, and so it'sjust understanding that I think
that through life, we have to bewilling to always look at
ourselves and say, okay, I'm inthis situation and I may not
(22:52):
have been the source of it, butI'm in it.
So what do I need to dodifferent?
Where do I need to adjust?
Where do I need to make coursecorrections?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Right, so if you just join us, we thank you for just
hanging out with us.
You know we're doing this on aSaturday night, for change.
We try different times.
We've jumping around time framewise to try to reach as many
people as we possibly can, butwe know a lot of people are
still going to be watching thisat a later time.
Yes, you can always put thingsin the comments.
You can go to the website, theweb page, and, just hey, put
your comments in there.
If you have a suggestion for anepisode or a topic that you
(23:23):
want us to cover, we will dothat yes, we will.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
We will talk about.
If you have a question in thechat, put it in the chat.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I like this.
Camilla and Robin have beenputting stuff down here.
I've been reading.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Thank you guys, thank you for participating, because
a part of it is that you don'trealize something that you share
might be something someone elseneeds, because we know we don't
have all the answers.
That's the purpose of communitywe all bring something
beautiful to the table thatsomeone else may need to hear,
and so always be open to sharing, and to sharing your comments
(23:54):
and your feelings, your thoughts, your views.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Absolutely, Just like Camille just said, singles oh
man, this is the time where youcan be practicing these things
and being made aware of thethings that we're kind of
talking about right now nosingles help us out here.
You know I can take that twoways.
I'm thinking that there's somesingle people who are on here
jump in there and talk about thethings that why are you silent
(24:17):
in your relationships when itcomes to things, but also topics
?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Or are you asking for topics for?
Are you asking for topics forsingles?
Because we have a bunch ofepisodes that we have done about
singles?
Is there a specific topic youwant us to talk about?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Because we'll bring it up and we'll bring you on.
Then you can be that boy.
You want to be the mouthpiece,you want to be the vocal boy.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
We're going to start doing more interviews with other
couples and with singles,because that's something we used
to do in the beginning and wereally loved it and I think that
that would be a nice change forthe way we create content.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Nice change for the way we create content and we
want to be able to make thecommunity a part of what we're
creating.
So, robin, yeah, I appreciateyou saying that about the time
change, because that's whatwe're trying to do to find the
best time change, because weknow everybody has life and
everybody got things going on.
Everybody has life to live,especially, but when it comes to
your relationships, when do youhave time to work on your
relationships?
And that's what we're trying todo is make a contribution, make
(25:14):
a deposit in you, but we wantto set a time.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
That can be a routine where you know okay, so what
time?
So is it Saturday morning workbetter.
You guys put that in the chatIf you're watching this now or
later put in the comments if youprefer Saturday morning or if
you prefer Saturday night.
It will be on Saturday, we'repretty flexible y'all.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
We'll do what's ever best for the community at large.
So we join you.
We thank you for jumping in andhanging out with us for the
time, even if you can't stay forthe whole time, because we
don't want to waste your time.
We want to bring value and addthings to you as it pertains to
relationships, but we also wantto hear your voice.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
We want to hear what you have to say and you know
what you're thinking and what'sgoing on in your heart, because
this is a place for us, a safeplace for us to share and for us
to grow.
And if there's things you wantto talk about that you don't
want to talk about openly, youcan send us an email at
richrelationshiprefuge atgmailcom, and we'll respond to
you and we'll get to you.
Know, because we had such greatcomments.
(26:14):
We read them all.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Everyone.
This is a sidebar, but thosewho are watching, who are just
chiming in and Renee don't evenknow I'm going to say this, but
I didn't mean nothing about theeyelashes.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh love oh baby it was just a comment.
It was just a comment, it wasjust something Okay, so we're
now on TikTok y'all, and TikTokis a different culture, a
different environment and thesame video that I should have.
The same video that we put onthe other platforms.
We put on TikTok and we got somany women.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
They definitely were.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
What makes men think that we do that for them?
We do that for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
See, camille know what I'm talking about.
Love my flashes, camille, youknow me.
I'm not harsh.
I'm not trying to be harsh, butall I made was a comment.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Well, actually it was my fault, because Gil was
talking to me and I said um,because I?
You know, we have men in ourcommunity.
I was doing a video and justtalking to women I said hey guys
, if you think I said, gil saidhe doesn't think long eyelashes
are pretty.
And so, men, if you don't thinkI'm long eyelashes and make
pretty, put it in the comments.
I wasn't saying that women doit for me.
(27:29):
I was trying to include the menin our community in the video.
I will never do that again.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
But again it got good engagement, it did but it was
scary.
But you know what?
Also, what we're talking abouttonight is about breaking the
silence.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Breaking the silence, and that could be breaking the
silence of we were talking to afriend.
I think we need to break thesilence of the expectations we
have of dating.
Or uncommunicated expectations,uncommunicated expectations.
I think that, unfortunately, somany times we have
uncommunicated expectations andwe need to.
(28:04):
We owe it to the people aroundus to share what we want, what
we need, how we feel, what wethink, but sometimes, once you
say it out loud, you're like isthat crazy, the things you keep
inside of you?
I always say you don't keepsecrets, they keep you.
Share talk.
(28:24):
If you can't, if you, if you'renot a good communicator, write
it down.
You know.
And for those of us who aregood communicators and people
are not good communicators givethem time, be patient be,
gracious.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And, as we're talking about the breaking through the
silence, one thing that I cansay, even from the list that
we're talking about and thethings that we share we're
talking about traumas andrejection.
Those are all realcommunication deficiencies, but
there are sometimes.
You can have things that arejust naturally in you.
That doesn't mean that you'rejust not afraid to break the
(28:59):
silence, like being an introvert, or you're just naturally shy.
That's one of the things thathappens to someone who has those
traits.
It's not that you don't want tobreak the silence, it's just
that's a part of who you are.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Sometimes you don't know, and that's why it's
important to have friends indifferent stages of your life
and from different places,because you get to be exposed to
, because, like with you beingso quiet, it taught me oh man,
there's a whole world out here.
You just learn how to listenand and not like for him.
He would probably say I taughthim to talk and so you need
someone in your life that'sgoing to help make you the best
(29:33):
version of yourself right, andeven for the, for those are our
viewers, who are shy, naturally.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
yeah, that is okay as long as you're not insecure or
insignificant.
Well, like I was yeah, I wasgoing to say some of the other
things that we talked aboutalready on this episode but if
you have, like, a communicationdeficit and you're shy and
you're introverted, that's ahuge obstacle that you have to
(30:00):
overcome because, by breakingthe silence, that's a habit that
you're going to have to develop, it's a skill.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It is a skill.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It can be learned.
You know we all go throughthings that are.
All the lists that we'veprovided to you tonight are
things that are impacting your,your communication style
primarily, especially when itcomes about breaking the silence
, because by breaking thesilence, that means you're
communicating.
So all the things that we'retalking about are naturally
(30:29):
embedded in us throughexperiences and things that have
happened to us, and conflictsand avoidance and all these
different things.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
And I want to say this it is okay and healthy to
be saved, believe in Jesus,speak in tongues, go to church
and have a therapist.
Sometimes you might need apsychotherapist, and that's okay
.
We need to stop making it likesomething is wrong with you when
(30:56):
you see a therapist.
No, I think that most of usthere's something wrong with us
because we don't think we needto.
We all need.
It could be through books, itcould be through courses, it
could be through physicallygoing through a therapist, but
you need to know the areas ofyour life that are broken and
wounded and that are hinderingyou from being the greatest
version of yourself.
And sometimes you need amarriage coach, you may need a
(31:18):
lifestyle coach, you may need atherapist, you need a team.
You need more than just you.
We'll never become everythingthat God has called us to become
by ourselves.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Because that's what we try to do, even in these
episodes and the lives and allthe things that we try to bring
to you guys is just thecommunity aspect.
The community aspect because werealized early in our
relationship that we weren'tgoing to figure it all out on
our own.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Because, think about it, you can only do as much as
you have the capacity inside ofyou.
Well, yes, the word of God, andGod gives you things beyond your
wisdom but then you still needpeople, because everything you
think you know, oh baby, it'sgoing to be tested.
It's going to be a practicetest.
It's going to be because we saywe believe these things.
(32:03):
But then guess what, when lifehappens to us, how do we respond
?
How do we react?
How do we practice it?
And so in life, you're going tohave to learn how to interact
with and to get along with andto develop relationships with
people other than you.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
So what we're talking about is breaking the silence,
and I got one more that we canbring up other than you.
So what we're talking about isbreaking the silence, and I got
one more that we can bring up,and this is something that I
think affects our community.
A lot is cultural.
When I was growing up, onething that I was told and you
probably can finish thissentence what?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
goes on at home, stays in our house.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
And that is true to a point Right.
What I'm talking about is whenit gets to the point where you
have developed a habit and apattern of not talking about
anything because you were toldto be quiet and to keep silent
because of cultural things thathave happened.
There are some cultural things,that about keeping silent and
(32:58):
being.
You know, the old adage backway, way, way back before we
were growing up, was there werecertain positions in certain
places that certain gendersneeded to stay in.
You know, like when men used tojust be in a room by themselves
and women couldn't even beinvolved and couldn't talk or
couldn't bring up that they justneed to serve and do those
types of things.
Those days are long gone, longgone.
(33:21):
You try to tell somebody tokeep quiet.
I don't care what culture theyare, what well, especially at
one, I don't care what cultureshe comes from or what ethnicity
she comes from.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Our voice is turned on honey.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Oh it's going, you're going to hear about it, but
sometimes that can be ahindrance in some people
overcoming oh yeah, absolutelyso.
Keeping that silence because ofcultural background, it's OK if
that's a part of your naturalintroversion and you shy the
point that you're not beingheard and you're being
(34:02):
suppressed in your vocalcapabilities and your vocal
communication and your talk andyour emotions.
That's something that isdefinitely going to impact your
relationship.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
So what do you do?
So how do you fix it?
I mean, what do you do goingforward?
How do you fix it?
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
First thing I would say is something that I think
gets developed is listening andobserving.
When I say listening, I'mtalking about all the stuff when
it comes to breaking thesilence, if someone is deciding
to share things with you andtalk to you and communicate to
you, listen to them, especiallyif it's your significant other,
if they have finally tried toexercise that thing, you have to
(34:41):
listen to them, to understand,not to respond, because if we
get into a habit of alreadythinking about what we want to
say, whether it's a normalconflict or just a natural
conversation, that means you'renot listening If you can't
listen.
People talk to us and they talkabout how we engage in these
(35:01):
videos and we're doing this live, and how we pitter patter back
off, back and forth off eachother.
Well, some of that hasdeveloped over time because
we've been with each other forso long, because we respect and
value each other.
But the other side of that isjust kind of what I was getting
to is we listen, we listen towhat you're saying in the
comments and try to incorporatethat and listen to understand.
Even if you don't agree withthe person that you're in
(35:29):
conversation with, it's OK.
But as long as you empathizeand listen to what they're
saying and listen to understand,it can be very effective in
breaking the silence.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
One of the things I would say that's important to do
is to always, always, always,extend grace and be kind,
because one of the things theLord showed me was grace is not
pulling people at my pace, graceis walking in theirs.
(35:57):
Kindness is not earned.
Earned kindness is a basicessential that, as believers, we
should be extending to everysingle person we come in contact
with.
And so, just thinking aboutthat, you know, one of the
things the Lord showed me wasbecause you know, I was like
it's right and it's the truth.
Well, after you get donetelling them what's right and
it's the truth, can you tellthem about Jesus?
(36:18):
If you, after you get donetelling the person what you want
to say, can you then turnaround?
And so, if not, so yeah, are wegonna miss it?
Are we gonna get it right everytime?
We're gonna miss it and we'renot gonna get it right every
time.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
So, therefore, we have to extend grace to
ourselves as well as the oldsaying goes, is it better to be
right or get it right?
Which one are you trying toachieve?
Which one are you trying toaccomplish, especially in our
relationships, as we're talkingabout breaking through the
silence?
You want to get to that point,to where, when the silence is
(36:53):
broken, these are the thingsthat you want to get into a
natural habit.
Another one social interaction.
Sometimes you got to read theroom y'all.
Yeah, you got to be veryconscious of your surroundings
and the people that you'retalking to.
That's a part of things thatare positive.
Now we're talking about socialinteraction.
When you're thinking about itin this form, putting what
(37:18):
you're putting in the chat, andif we're in the one that we got
multiple screens up and multiplepeople are talking, that's okay
, but you have to be consciousand aware of your interaction
with other people.
I'm just reading some of thecomments.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I'm trying kind of jumping back and forth but you
know, I think a part of readingthe room and it's funny because
even little kids like liza, hewould look at me like why are
you looking like that?
He's like what are you thinking?
He gets sick.
So reading the room begins tobe something that you do very
early and being aware of whatare we communicating with our
(37:54):
nonverbals?
You know, if we want, you knowthe Bible says in order to have
friends, you've got to befriendly.
If we want, you know the Biblesays in order to have friends
you've got to be friendly.
So we can't sit in a corner byourself away from everybody and
say I don't have any friends andno one wants to be my friend.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
We have to be willing to do our part.
Practice it when I say practiceit when you have decided to
break the silence and come outof the shell and talk about and
try to not do the things we'vealready talked about and you
start to open up and start.
You have to.
It's going to be weird in thebeginning.
It's going to be something thatit's just like working out.
(38:32):
How painful that is when youfirst start working out because
you hadn't, whether it hadn'tbeen in the gym for a while, or
it's a whole new exercise thatyou learn new muscles.
It's a new, new new thingsalways feel a little odd in the
beginning, especially if it's awhole new exercise that you
learn.
It's a new muscle.
It's a new, new, new thingsalways feel a little odd in the
beginning, especially if it'ssomething that you're trying to
incorporate into yourpersonality.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Especially if it's something that you've never done
before and it's not your normallife.
For me, when I'm learning howto be quiet, it's like what?
I don't talk, oh my God, who doyou think I talk?
But as you begin to practice it, it becomes more natural, and
so anything that you want to getgood at, you've got to just do
it.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Yep.
So we just wanted to share thisstuff with you guys tonight.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
We thank you guys for hanging out with us.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
We went a little bit over the time that we normally
allow.
We try to keep it under about ahalf hour because we know
everybody has other things thatthey're trying to do, but we
appreciate you guys hanging outwith us.
We hope you we bring some valueand some some things that maybe
you're aware of I hope it wasfun and we hope it was
informative.
Thanks for camille and robinreally engaging, thank you guys,
(39:34):
appreciate you guys who is thatbuilding the whole?
Speaker 1 (39:37):
you hey we love y'all we appreciate you, you guys, so
much.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Thank you, guys for hanging out.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
So please share this video with one person.
Everybody share with one personand leave a comment on whatever
platform you're on, and if youdidn't subscribe, please
subscribe If you didn't like andfollow.
Please do that.
It really helps us, becausewhen you do that, that helps us
to help other people.
(40:04):
So we love you and we're sograteful to be able to serve you
guys.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Because we appreciate it, because we know this is an
investment in your time, sodon't take it lightly.
We really appreciate it, welove you guys and we will see
you guys next week same time,yep same time.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
We're going know stick here next week all right,
let us know we love you guys.
We'll see you guys again nextsaturday have a good night.
Have a great week.
Remember you are more thanenough in christ jesus.
Use your voice.
People need to hear what youhave to say.
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