April 25, 2023 • 25 mins
Today's podcast does offer a Trigger Warning. Assault is mentioned but not described in the first email.
Emails begin around the 10 minute mark.
This episode features on-and-off-and-on-and-off relationships, infidelity, completely "meant to be" moments and more! Thank you for listening to my podcast!
Also, hear a tease for next week's guest at the end!
Submit your stories to falen@kdwb.com
Emails begin around the 10 minute mark.
This episode features on-and-off-and-on-and-off relationships, infidelity, completely "meant to be" moments and more! Thank you for listening to my podcast!
Also, hear a tease for next week's guest at the end!
Submit your stories to falen@kdwb.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:18):
Hello, and welcome to right person, wrong time. I am fallon and
I am excited to be here withyou. I mean, what are you
up to me right now? Ihave been really just over eating today at
lunch, so I had left overlike taco meat and some like corn,
(00:38):
and I mixed that together and somebeans, and then I just went to
town and honestly, I think Itook down the amount of food like a
family of five what an a Mexicanrestaurant sans the chips and salsa, which
was a big sadness of my day. But here we are. I've been
working out a lot, and thenI haven't been eating crap. I've just
(00:59):
been eating too much. And theworking out is not just to lose weight,
although hey, that'd be a greatbonus because I know it's mostly nutrition.
It's mostly been like the working outbecause it's like I need to be
healthier, like I need to beable to walk to another room without being
wended, and also keep up withmy kid. I spent the weekend with
(01:19):
another just delightful week of weather.That's sarcasm because it's terrible here, but
doing a lot of things getting ready. We're painting some cabinets and trim,
and by we, I mean someoneis doing it because Jake and I painted
a powder room ones and you cansee like there are certain corners where the
paint just dripped down and the drivelike that. See very classy here in
(01:40):
our house. We have a bigevent coming up in two weeks called Star
Party, and it's like a bigconcert. So I am trying to find
the perfect outfit. I've now orderedI think three. My dog is going
crazy. So if you hear that, I'm sorry. That means either someone
is walking past a window upstairs witha dog god forbid, or a FedEx
driver has arrived or am and she'snot having it not on her watch.
(02:02):
But I've ordered like three outfits.So the first outfit, well, I
ordered a skirt. It was themost overpriced skirt, but I thought,
you know what, we do onereally dressy event a week a year.
I'm going we used to too,because we used to have jingle Ball jingle
Ball rip. But I'm gonna geta nice skirt and I haven't. We
haven't had an event in so long. I was like, screw it.
(02:22):
The last one we had was twentynineteen, like a big concert, like
this, ordered the skirt. Itwas fine, it wasn't flattering, so
I sent it back. Next one, I ordered an outfit actually my friend
Tina sent to me from asos asosdot com. I love that site for
finding kind of event outfits and stuff, and it's it's pretty. I really
love the pattern on it. It'ssparkly. I don't think it's super flattering.
(02:42):
So it's like every picture of meon stage someone takes from down below,
and it's just like really amplifies myhips, if you know what I'm
saying. And then I have oneother outfit I know you care about this
deeply. It's a body suit.I ordered literally, I think in twenty
nineteen for an event. I thinkit was honestly, I was hoping to
wear it too, like jingle Ballin twenty twenty, and then of course
(03:07):
that didn't happen because of COVID,so I've been holding onto it. I
never even tried it on. I'verecently tried it on. It's like,
you know what, maybe I'll workfor Star Party and it's actually really cute.
So I ordered a skirt, waitingfor that to come in to make
my I guess final decision. Butjust so I've been picking out outfits,
kind of getting some stuff spring afight around the house, and a little
painting again, hiring someone to dopainting, and preparing for some vacations.
(03:30):
I this year, have you takena day off? And I know I've
talked about it on here. Ithink it's such a good reminder. I
know that a lot of people listeningprobably don't have as many vacation days as
I do. I've definitely built upmy vacation. When I started here,
I had two weeks, and Imy entire life, I've had two weeks
(03:52):
ten days a vacation, and soin radio, we have contracts and sometimes
they're like, we won't give youa right, but we'll give you an
extra vacation day anyway. So I'veused some vacation as leverage, so I've
and also I've been there for elevenyears now, so I've built up more
vacation. But the problem is Ievery single year do the same thing where
(04:14):
I'm like, I just took sometime off during Christmas, I won't need
vacation for a while, and thenI wait too long and I get burnout
and I just we all need likea day or two off here and there
if we can afford it. AndI know not everyone has that luxury,
so I don't want to sound outof touch, but it's just yeah,
so there's that, and I thought, actually, this wasn't even my idea.
(04:40):
I honestly should give a shout outto all the people who have sent
me messages over the past two yearsof me creating art. I've had women
over and over again say, ohmy gosh, fallon that painting would be
a beautiful note card. I waslike, oh, yeah, thanks.
Well, anyway, I finally waslike, you know what, for Mother's
Day, it might not be theworst. I did actually make a note
card set, so I looked intoand I was like, okay, and
(05:00):
I ordered them just to see whatthey would look like, and they were
so cute. So I sold ahandful of these and they sold out like
immediately, so I was like,oh my gosh. So I ordered a
different set of four that I'm goingto release this week for Mother's Day.
And anyway, it's just I haveto thank people that gave it an idea,
(05:20):
because it really is. I amnot saying this because they're mine,
because you usually we're harder on ourown work. I want these cards for
myself, like because I'll send likelittle you know, little cards to people
all the time, or you know, you just attach a card to something
you're giving to someone, and Iam out all I have right now or
thank you cards, and if I'mleaving just like a just a note card,
(05:43):
I don't have one of those.So anyway, I'm going to order
my own cards, is what I'msaying. Very and I'll give myself a
deal. I'm gonna give myself away better deal than I give everyone else.
The other big thing that happened thisweekend on Friday, I went viral
on TikTok. This is not myfirst time going viral. I think I've
gone viral a handful of times now. But the funniest thing is two of
my viral videos. It's the samevideo. I just repurposed it like a
(06:06):
year and a half later and itwent viral again and even bigger. So
my biggest one is seven million.But I came home. This is TMI,
So I'm sorry. If this isTMI and you're listening to this,
I won't say anything gross. Iwill just allude. So I came home,
I go to the bathroom because I'mgonna go change into some clothes to
go for a walk, or Ithink it was gonna don't matter. I
was gonna ride the bike, godownstairs, or go to my bathroom.
(06:30):
And in my bathroom and there's abottle of Jurgen's Lotions sitting on the floor
in front of the toilet. AndI just started dying laughing because I knew
what that meant. So I gointo Jake's office and I was like,
get in here. You've been caughtright handed, and I videoed him.
I don't think he knew exactly whatit was, but he knew it was
something funny, and I got hisreaction to seeing it, and it's so
(06:55):
cute and so innocent. I said, I'm going to post that, and
he goes, don't post it please, And I know why he didn't want
me to, because he hit alot of his coworkers, I think follow
me on Instagram. But I waslike, oh, he's not on TikTok,
and I mine. The deals neverdo well on TikTok. I mean
they just don't. I'll put somuch effort and and nothing happens. So
I put it on and I didn'tpay attention, and then all of a
(07:15):
sudden, it was like two hundredthousand views. That's when you know it's
going viral, when it just is. The views are every time you refresh,
you have another, you know,ten thousand, two hundred thousand views.
I was like, oh god,I feel guilty. So when I
said, hey, I posted thison TikTok, I feel I couldn't say
it with a straight face. Ifeel bad, but it's kind of going
viral. Do you want me todelete it? He said, let me
(07:36):
see it. I showed him.He laughed. He's like, no,
you can keep it up. Sonow it's at a million and a half
views. But the craziest thing tome, and I just posted another video.
The comments fell into four sections,and I was so intrigued by two
sets of them. The first setwere people just laughing. The second set
(07:57):
were people saying they had similar situations, and one woman's said, like her
son, you self tanner. Hedidn't know what self tanner. He thought
it was lotion, and that's sofunny to me. Then the next two
sets were really surprising. So manywomen were like, I cannot no way
if my husband did that, Iwould lose it. That's digital cheating.
(08:20):
That's disgusting. Why do you thinkthat's funny or normal. I really couldn't
believe that response. Not because I'munaware that everyone has a different set of
rules in their relationship. It justfelt really because of how I am my
relationship. It felt really immature andclothes minded. But then I'm like,
(08:41):
you know what, when I wassuper young, I probably would have had
the same outlook. I don't know. I'm not saying all these people are
young. I'm just saying everyone's relationshipis different. There are other people that
would be totally okay with something thatI would be like that about. But
I'd never heard the term digital cheating. And I'm sorry that just made me
laugh, but I get it.Anyway, I was surprised by those and
(09:01):
then I was surprised, but notof the group of men that were like,
yes, you're not doing your job, and I was like, you
still exist. I'm just surrounded byso many decent, good guys. That's
so surprising to me. When aguy has a comment like that. I'm
always just like you, you stillexist. Okay, Okay, So anyway,
(09:22):
that was a fun little thing forme over the weekend and then we
got outside as much as we couldwith the crappy weather. But I hope
that you had a great week andI really thank you for being here today.
Now we're going to jump into someemails. I should have had something
like you. Remember I didn't neverwatch Blues Clues because that came after my
time. But didn't he have likea mailbox song or check the mail?
(09:46):
Okay, that wasn't thought out,So anyway, emails, here we go.
First email. Scott and I starteddating when I was fifteen. He
was one year older than me andmy cousin's best friend Gosh, our friend
group was so much fun. Everywith Scott was easy. We had so
much fun and it was just easy. My family loved him, his family
loved me. He was always sothoughtful and made me feel like I was
(10:07):
the only girl in the world forhim. We went to prom together twice.
We were each other's first love andfirst time. He never pressured me
into anything and always made sure Iwas okay and taken care of I remember
one night we were talking about astory about another couple that had something happened
to one person and the other personhad like a sixth sense type of thing
that happened where they had felt somekind of pain at the time of the
(10:30):
accident and knew something was wrong.Scott told me that would be us and
he would have the same feeling ifsomething ever happened to me. Everything was
perfect until my brother's twenty first birthday. I was seventeen. I've never told
anyone about what happened that night,but it is the night that changed so
many things for me. I wassober cab well. I ended up getting
served at one of the bars too, and you can imagine how that went.
(10:54):
I had way too much to drinkand only remember bits and pieces of
that evening. We went with someof his friends to a bar restaurant that
one of the friends owned. Thatowner was older, married and had a
kid. I remember part of himand I having sex. The bar owner
basically harassed and threatened me that hewould tell his wife what happened if I
didn't work for him. So Icaved and did work for him for about
(11:16):
sixty to nine months. Side note, I didn't realize until a few years
ago that what happened was not myfault. That guy probably knew what he
was doing. He basically assaulted megross. I felt disgusting and like trash.
That is where my self esteem selfforth took a tank after that night.
I just saw myself as worthless andnot good enough for him. I
cheated on him multiple times, horrible. I know. We would be off
(11:37):
and on for a while. ThenI broke it off for good. Well.
I got pregnant by my boyfriend atthe time, towards the end of
my senior year of high school.That guy left me, so I was
on my own. Scott and Iwould try to be together a few times
after that, but it never workedout. I was so traumatized by my
daughter's birth father leaving and having nothingto do with us, living on my
own, raising a baby, andgoing to college. Him and my cousin
(11:58):
were always there for both of us, and of course to spoil her with
presents. Fast forward a few yearsand we each and my daughter are asked
to be in my cousin's wedding.We both were with other people, but
made the best of it. Whenwe would be near each other, I
would get those butterflies in my stomach, but pushed them aside because we were
both happy and I thought it wasjust the memories. He asked me for
his class ring back and I toldhim I had no idea where it was.
(12:20):
I really didn't. We both endedup getting married to other people.
A few years ago, I foundhis class ring while going through some old
boxes. I don't have a rightto keep it, and figured his wife
would want it for sure for hisson and would love to have that someday.
So I called up my cousin andasked if he sees him very often,
and he said he would make surehe gets it to him. For
the last six month sixtish months,I've been having dreams about him. What
(12:41):
the heck is up with that?About my dreams? Some of my dreams
have predicted the future deja vu moments. So is that what these dreams are?
Or am I just reliving something thatI have romanticized in my head.
We were both different people than wewere over twenty years ago. I know
I'm a much better person that thanI was and have healed from past traumas.
We don't live too far from eachother and have run into each other
(13:01):
a few times over the years.I ran into him a few months ago.
We made some small talk. Ifthere would have been other people if
there wouldn't have been other people around, I would have loved to have had
a more in depth conversation. Thankhim for loving me and knowing who I
really was when I didn't. Maybeit would be closure. I don't know.
He will forever be that special firstlove and always have a piece of
my heart. I've had this emailin my draft for a couple of months.
(13:24):
We ran into each other a coupleof weeks ago and caught up on
each other's lives. Gosh, talkingwith him is so easy. I wish
I could go back and know whatI wish I could go back and know
what I know now, things wouldbe or could be different. It is
such an awful feeling to think thatyou could have been treated better and loved
better than you currently are. Idon't wish that upon anyone. Ah,
(13:45):
this just breaks my heart for you. I am so sorry you went through
that. I don't I'm going toguess every single person handles which you went
through very differently. And I alsojust I don't am for what you did.
I'm sure that that hurt him alot also, but it is interesting.
(14:07):
I'm sorry you were with someone andhad a child with someone who was
too immature to be there for you. I am sorry for a lot of
things, and I hope that youwill either be able to I think be
able to move on because it soundslike he's married and has a kid,
so we don't wish the worst forhim, but we wish the best for
you. So anyway, thank youfor sending your email. Okay, this
(14:28):
email says, does the saying rightperson, wrong time apply when you keep
circling back to someone ten thousand times? A laugh cry emoji. I was
actually on your Heartbroken podcast way backwhen with the story of my boyfriend who
at the time just up and leftone day and never came home. Well,
needless to say that man and Ibroke up. I had all but
(14:48):
given up on dating after that shitstorm of a breakup and countless situation ships.
When I matched with a guy onBubble in August of twenty nineteen,
I wasn't sure he was my type, but his pictures made him so fun
and adventurous. Plus he was tallas hell and oh so fit, so
I thought, what did I haveto lose. We set a date for
drinks, and when I tell you, it was love at first sight.
(15:09):
When this man walked in who Wespent three hours talking that night and closed
the place down. We spent anamazing year together before one day out of
the blue, in July of twentytwenty, he tells me he can't do
this anymore. He was mature andthoughtful during the breakup, but hearing the
person you were ready to spend therest of your life with doesn't feel the
same way is crushing. To saythe least I had and have never to
(15:31):
this day felt heartbreak like that.It took what felt like an eternity to
heal. Fast forward to a yearof no talking when in June of twenty
twenty one, he reaches out andsays he's been thinking about me and wanted
to check in. It felt likeall the stars aligned, and so I
eagerly suggested meeting up to catch up. We set a day to meet,
and the day of he calls meand tells me he can't because, drum
(15:54):
roll, he has a girl friend. He said he still misses me,
off regrets ending things, and becauseof those feelings for me, meeting up
wouldn't be right. I swear Iblacked out everything except he still misses me.
Pathetic, I know, fast forwardagain a few a few months to
November of twenty twenty one, whenhe reaches out again. We talk on
(16:14):
the phone and catch up and weagree to meet for drinks. In my
mind, he's single again and that'swhy he reached out. We go for
drinks, and the spark, theenergy, the feelings, they all come
crashing back. We fall back intothings and it isn't until a few months
pass and we're into early twenty twentytwo that I realized this man still has
a girlfriend. Yes, you readthat right. This should be the part
(16:38):
of the story where I say that'sthe end, and God, looking back,
do I wish it was. Westopped talking after I find out about
her, But for whatever reason,we cannot stay away from each other.
One of us is always reaching backout after time away, and we will
end up meeting up feeling the samelove, the spark and energy from the
first night we met, following easilyinto a month of old times before one
(17:00):
of us is inevitably realizing how dumbwe are and calls it off and we
go about our lives. I continuecasually dating and he continues with his girlfriend,
before one of us ends up pickingup that phone again knowing the other
will answer. So here we areApril of twenty twenty three, just deciding
for myself again that I cannot continueto do this after a few months of
(17:21):
back on, I feel so terriblefor being a willing participant in his infidelity.
I guess I always viewed our loveas right person, wrong time,
but I'm starting to see it's farmore complicated than that. Too much damage
has been done and I've compromised toomuch of myself for him to be the
right person. I just have toconvince my heart to believe my brain on
this one. Here's hoping this timesticks. Thanks for all you do and
(17:42):
for reading my email. Here's whatI know. The only thing you can
do if you really want to bedone is block him on everything and everyone.
I will say this, everyone saysI know, and nobody wants to
because there's still a little bit ofwant. And I've done years of heartbroken,
(18:03):
I've done months of this podcast,and I always get the same thing.
They find a way to reach meVenmo, Facebook, my work email,
and in those times all I knowis if they do, you have
to be strong there as well andjust block them. But see, we
all want that little bit of likeknowing they want us and we desire it,
(18:29):
and we hope this time will bedifferent. So I'm not going to
tell you anything you don't know,but I will tell you you know,
deep down, you are not theother woman. You are better than that,
and not because mistakes don't happen,but because you deserve more from someone
than that. Right. So thisis not an advice podcast, will I
(18:52):
would say that to my friend,though. You deserve someone to be someone's
main person and only person, andso I really hope you find that.
I think you're really gonna have toblock this person though, because you ended
at this time, So that meansit's April you said. Every few months
or so, one of you reachesout, knowing the other one will answer.
(19:15):
The only thing you can do.What do they say if you keep
doing the same thing and expecting differentresults, that's the definition of crazy or
something like that, or insanity.So to change it, you have to
not answer if he calls, youknow. So anyway, I wish you
the best because you realize you're like, ah, why am I doing this
to myself? Okay, here's ournext email. I'm excited I finally have
(19:38):
a story to share for one ofthese types of questions. So somewhere around
twenty two eleven, I was livingby myself with my dog in an apartment
building. At some point this guymoved in and was assigned to the parking
spot one over from me. I'dsee him all the time in the garage
and he'd always waved to me.After a few weeks of this, he
wrote a note with his name andphone number and stuck out on my car
windshield, and we texted for aweek or so, then a coffee date.
(20:02):
But then I had to fess upI was actually legally married. I
got married at nineteen when my highschool boyfriend was going to be deployed to
Iraq, and shocker, things weren'tgoing well. He cheated on me a
lot, but that's another story foranother time. Obviously, car note guy
and I didn't talk for a whileafter that, but remained friends on Facebook.
After I was officially divorced. Oneof us would periodically reach out to
(20:25):
the other, we'd go on acouple of dates, and then one of
us would ghost the other for variousreasons. In March twenty fifteen, Facebook
reminded me that it was his birthday, so I sent a message and asked
how he was. This time itstuck. We've been together for eight years
as of three thirty one. Wemoved in together in August of twenty sixteen,
got married in August of twenty eighteen, and had our beautiful daughter in
(20:47):
December of twenty nineteen. Side noteto add to the meant to be vibe,
I wasn't even supposed to be inthat apartment building or that parking spot.
Long story short, the apartment managementhad messed up and rented out the
apartment that I picked in the dogfriendly building, so I ended up in
this other building with the same floorplan. I didn't like the parking spot
(21:07):
that was assigned to the apartment,so I asked for a different one,
which was the spot I was parkedin when I got the note. I
one thousand percent believe that everything happensfor a reason and things work out exactly
how they're supposed to in the end. Thank you for reading. Love your
show, Brian, Oh, Ilove that. I love that you added
that last little bit too, becausewow, wow, that is so cool.
(21:32):
Heylan just saw your post and herewe go. Back in two thousand
and eight, I was twenty four, I had just gotten divorced and had
a two and a half year olddaughter. I started hanging out with a
guy named Adam, who was thirtyone and had a son with twin daughters.
We dated for about eight to ninemonths, but one of different things
and went our separate ways. Fastforward to twenty seventeen. I now have
five daughters, all with the fatherof my first child. No, we
(21:56):
never got remarried, but did tryto rekindle things, but officially broke that
off for good in twenty sixteen.And this isn't even the love story I'm
talking about l ol. And currentlysix months pregnant with another daughter with an
ex boyfriend. The biggest mistake yetan amazing blessing. Once I found out
I was pregnant, I was goingthrough a lot of emotions as I already
have five kids and I just fileda restraining order against this child's biological dad.
(22:19):
I thought of putting her up foradoption and needed a sign on what
to do. On October fourteenth,twenty seventeen, I saw a picture that
reminded me of Adam, my boyfriendfrom two thousand and eight, and in
my head, I thought, Iwonder what he's up to. I still
had his number on my phone,but I had never seen or heard from
him since two thousand and eighth,so I really had no idea if there
were still if it was still him. So I reached out and said hey.
(22:41):
Immediately I got a text back fromhim saying hey, and we chatted
a bed and then he asked ifI wanted to meet up to watch the
Badger basketball game. Okay, soat this point I needed to tell him
I was six months pregnant. Itold him, he didn't care, he
still wanted to meet me that night. We talked and talked, and he
told me that there was no wayI could give up my child for adoption.
(23:02):
Then twelve twenty seven came and Iwas thirty weeks pregnant and went into
labor. Adam spent all day withme at the hospital, stayed for the
delivery, and overnight with me.I knew at that point I was going
to marry this man someday. Well, now we fast forward to twenty twenty
three. We were finally married onthree fifteen. This man that I have
loved for so long is now myhusband. We have nine children together,
(23:26):
eight or girls and have an awesomelife. My youngest Sophia, which we
consider to be Adam's daughter as well, since he has been there for her
since day one, will now adopther. We all could not be more
excited. This is my love story. I hope you enjoy my story.
Oh I love that for you.That makes me so happy. That would
(23:47):
be scary, Bet Dubbs. I'msix months pregnant and look at this guy
just being like, I don't care. I love that for you. Congratulations.
This story came to mind when Isaw your post on Instagram. When
I was sixteen and eighteen, Istarted dating and well they started dating this
person at the end of his senioryear. We broke up. We had
(24:08):
a brief stint of dating in mylate teens, but after we didn't speak.
I was around twenty two and mybest friend and I happened to be
having a conversation about our former formerboyfriends and which ones were the best my
best day and I decided that Danny, the guy I was dating then,
was by far my best of myformer boyfriends, always respectful and you could
(24:29):
really tell he loved me. SoI decided to call Danny. I was
single I called his dad's house becauseit was the only number I had.
Danny wasn't there, but his daddelivered the message that I called and my
number. Danny called soon after,and the rest is history. We are
now married, short and sweet woo. I love it. Next week we'll
have a guest on the podcast,so I will leave you with a preview
(24:52):
of next week's episode. Thank youso much for listening to right person,
wrong time. I will be honest. I thought maybe the grass would be
greener. We got bored with eachother. I found I started dating an
attorney for a short amount of time, and I just I was in my
early, you know, mid twenties, and thought that I could find I
found him. Can I find better
Hello, and welcome to right person, wrong time. I am fallon and
I am excited to be here withyou. I mean, what are you
up to me right now? Ihave been really just over eating today at
lunch, so I had left overlike taco meat and some like corn,
(00:38):
and I mixed that together and somebeans, and then I just went to
town and honestly, I think Itook down the amount of food like a
family of five what an a Mexicanrestaurant sans the chips and salsa, which
was a big sadness of my day. But here we are. I've been
working out a lot, and thenI haven't been eating crap. I've just
(00:59):
been eating too much. And theworking out is not just to lose weight,
although hey, that'd be a greatbonus because I know it's mostly nutrition.
It's mostly been like the working outbecause it's like I need to be
healthier, like I need to beable to walk to another room without being
wended, and also keep up withmy kid. I spent the weekend with
(01:19):
another just delightful week of weather.That's sarcasm because it's terrible here, but
doing a lot of things getting ready. We're painting some cabinets and trim,
and by we, I mean someoneis doing it because Jake and I painted
a powder room ones and you cansee like there are certain corners where the
paint just dripped down and the drivelike that. See very classy here in
(01:40):
our house. We have a bigevent coming up in two weeks called Star
Party, and it's like a bigconcert. So I am trying to find
the perfect outfit. I've now orderedI think three. My dog is going
crazy. So if you hear that, I'm sorry. That means either someone
is walking past a window upstairs witha dog god forbid, or a FedEx
driver has arrived or am and she'snot having it not on her watch.
(02:02):
But I've ordered like three outfits.So the first outfit, well, I
ordered a skirt. It was themost overpriced skirt, but I thought,
you know what, we do onereally dressy event a week a year.
I'm going we used to too,because we used to have jingle Ball jingle
Ball rip. But I'm gonna geta nice skirt and I haven't. We
haven't had an event in so long. I was like, screw it.
(02:22):
The last one we had was twentynineteen, like a big concert, like
this, ordered the skirt. Itwas fine, it wasn't flattering, so
I sent it back. Next one, I ordered an outfit actually my friend
Tina sent to me from asos asosdot com. I love that site for
finding kind of event outfits and stuff, and it's it's pretty. I really
love the pattern on it. It'ssparkly. I don't think it's super flattering.
(02:42):
So it's like every picture of meon stage someone takes from down below,
and it's just like really amplifies myhips, if you know what I'm
saying. And then I have oneother outfit I know you care about this
deeply. It's a body suit.I ordered literally, I think in twenty
nineteen for an event. I thinkit was honestly, I was hoping to
wear it too, like jingle Ballin twenty twenty, and then of course
(03:07):
that didn't happen because of COVID,so I've been holding onto it. I
never even tried it on. I'verecently tried it on. It's like,
you know what, maybe I'll workfor Star Party and it's actually really cute.
So I ordered a skirt, waitingfor that to come in to make
my I guess final decision. Butjust so I've been picking out outfits,
kind of getting some stuff spring afight around the house, and a little
painting again, hiring someone to dopainting, and preparing for some vacations.
(03:30):
I this year, have you takena day off? And I know I've
talked about it on here. Ithink it's such a good reminder. I
know that a lot of people listeningprobably don't have as many vacation days as
I do. I've definitely built upmy vacation. When I started here,
I had two weeks, and Imy entire life, I've had two weeks
(03:52):
ten days a vacation, and soin radio, we have contracts and sometimes
they're like, we won't give youa right, but we'll give you an
extra vacation day anyway. So I'veused some vacation as leverage, so I've
and also I've been there for elevenyears now, so I've built up more
vacation. But the problem is Ievery single year do the same thing where
(04:14):
I'm like, I just took sometime off during Christmas, I won't need
vacation for a while, and thenI wait too long and I get burnout
and I just we all need likea day or two off here and there
if we can afford it. AndI know not everyone has that luxury,
so I don't want to sound outof touch, but it's just yeah,
so there's that, and I thought, actually, this wasn't even my idea.
(04:40):
I honestly should give a shout outto all the people who have sent
me messages over the past two yearsof me creating art. I've had women
over and over again say, ohmy gosh, fallon that painting would be
a beautiful note card. I waslike, oh, yeah, thanks.
Well, anyway, I finally waslike, you know what, for Mother's
Day, it might not be theworst. I did actually make a note
card set, so I looked intoand I was like, okay, and
(05:00):
I ordered them just to see whatthey would look like, and they were
so cute. So I sold ahandful of these and they sold out like
immediately, so I was like,oh my gosh. So I ordered a
different set of four that I'm goingto release this week for Mother's Day.
And anyway, it's just I haveto thank people that gave it an idea,
(05:20):
because it really is. I amnot saying this because they're mine,
because you usually we're harder on ourown work. I want these cards for
myself, like because I'll send likelittle you know, little cards to people
all the time, or you know, you just attach a card to something
you're giving to someone, and Iam out all I have right now or
thank you cards, and if I'mleaving just like a just a note card,
(05:43):
I don't have one of those.So anyway, I'm going to order
my own cards, is what I'msaying. Very and I'll give myself a
deal. I'm gonna give myself away better deal than I give everyone else.
The other big thing that happened thisweekend on Friday, I went viral
on TikTok. This is not myfirst time going viral. I think I've
gone viral a handful of times now. But the funniest thing is two of
my viral videos. It's the samevideo. I just repurposed it like a
(06:06):
year and a half later and itwent viral again and even bigger. So
my biggest one is seven million.But I came home. This is TMI,
So I'm sorry. If this isTMI and you're listening to this,
I won't say anything gross. Iwill just allude. So I came home,
I go to the bathroom because I'mgonna go change into some clothes to
go for a walk, or Ithink it was gonna don't matter. I
was gonna ride the bike, godownstairs, or go to my bathroom.
(06:30):
And in my bathroom and there's abottle of Jurgen's Lotions sitting on the floor
in front of the toilet. AndI just started dying laughing because I knew
what that meant. So I gointo Jake's office and I was like,
get in here. You've been caughtright handed, and I videoed him.
I don't think he knew exactly whatit was, but he knew it was
something funny, and I got hisreaction to seeing it, and it's so
(06:55):
cute and so innocent. I said, I'm going to post that, and
he goes, don't post it please, And I know why he didn't want
me to, because he hit alot of his coworkers, I think follow
me on Instagram. But I waslike, oh, he's not on TikTok,
and I mine. The deals neverdo well on TikTok. I mean
they just don't. I'll put somuch effort and and nothing happens. So
I put it on and I didn'tpay attention, and then all of a
(07:15):
sudden, it was like two hundredthousand views. That's when you know it's
going viral, when it just is. The views are every time you refresh,
you have another, you know,ten thousand, two hundred thousand views.
I was like, oh god,I feel guilty. So when I
said, hey, I posted thison TikTok, I feel I couldn't say
it with a straight face. Ifeel bad, but it's kind of going
viral. Do you want me todelete it? He said, let me
(07:36):
see it. I showed him.He laughed. He's like, no,
you can keep it up. Sonow it's at a million and a half
views. But the craziest thing tome, and I just posted another video.
The comments fell into four sections,and I was so intrigued by two
sets of them. The first setwere people just laughing. The second set
(07:57):
were people saying they had similar situations, and one woman's said, like her
son, you self tanner. Hedidn't know what self tanner. He thought
it was lotion, and that's sofunny to me. Then the next two
sets were really surprising. So manywomen were like, I cannot no way
if my husband did that, Iwould lose it. That's digital cheating.
(08:20):
That's disgusting. Why do you thinkthat's funny or normal. I really couldn't
believe that response. Not because I'munaware that everyone has a different set of
rules in their relationship. It justfelt really because of how I am my
relationship. It felt really immature andclothes minded. But then I'm like,
(08:41):
you know what, when I wassuper young, I probably would have had
the same outlook. I don't know. I'm not saying all these people are
young. I'm just saying everyone's relationshipis different. There are other people that
would be totally okay with something thatI would be like that about. But
I'd never heard the term digital cheating. And I'm sorry that just made me
laugh, but I get it.Anyway, I was surprised by those and
(09:01):
then I was surprised, but notof the group of men that were like,
yes, you're not doing your job, and I was like, you
still exist. I'm just surrounded byso many decent, good guys. That's
so surprising to me. When aguy has a comment like that. I'm
always just like you, you stillexist. Okay, Okay, So anyway,
(09:22):
that was a fun little thing forme over the weekend and then we
got outside as much as we couldwith the crappy weather. But I hope
that you had a great week andI really thank you for being here today.
Now we're going to jump into someemails. I should have had something
like you. Remember I didn't neverwatch Blues Clues because that came after my
time. But didn't he have likea mailbox song or check the mail?
(09:46):
Okay, that wasn't thought out,So anyway, emails, here we go.
First email. Scott and I starteddating when I was fifteen. He
was one year older than me andmy cousin's best friend Gosh, our friend
group was so much fun. Everywith Scott was easy. We had so
much fun and it was just easy. My family loved him, his family
loved me. He was always sothoughtful and made me feel like I was
(10:07):
the only girl in the world forhim. We went to prom together twice.
We were each other's first love andfirst time. He never pressured me
into anything and always made sure Iwas okay and taken care of I remember
one night we were talking about astory about another couple that had something happened
to one person and the other personhad like a sixth sense type of thing
that happened where they had felt somekind of pain at the time of the
(10:30):
accident and knew something was wrong.Scott told me that would be us and
he would have the same feeling ifsomething ever happened to me. Everything was
perfect until my brother's twenty first birthday. I was seventeen. I've never told
anyone about what happened that night,but it is the night that changed so
many things for me. I wassober cab well. I ended up getting
served at one of the bars too, and you can imagine how that went.
(10:54):
I had way too much to drinkand only remember bits and pieces of
that evening. We went with someof his friends to a bar restaurant that
one of the friends owned. Thatowner was older, married and had a
kid. I remember part of himand I having sex. The bar owner
basically harassed and threatened me that hewould tell his wife what happened if I
didn't work for him. So Icaved and did work for him for about
(11:16):
sixty to nine months. Side note, I didn't realize until a few years
ago that what happened was not myfault. That guy probably knew what he
was doing. He basically assaulted megross. I felt disgusting and like trash.
That is where my self esteem selfforth took a tank after that night.
I just saw myself as worthless andnot good enough for him. I
cheated on him multiple times, horrible. I know. We would be off
(11:37):
and on for a while. ThenI broke it off for good. Well.
I got pregnant by my boyfriend atthe time, towards the end of
my senior year of high school.That guy left me, so I was
on my own. Scott and Iwould try to be together a few times
after that, but it never workedout. I was so traumatized by my
daughter's birth father leaving and having nothingto do with us, living on my
own, raising a baby, andgoing to college. Him and my cousin
(11:58):
were always there for both of us, and of course to spoil her with
presents. Fast forward a few yearsand we each and my daughter are asked
to be in my cousin's wedding.We both were with other people, but
made the best of it. Whenwe would be near each other, I
would get those butterflies in my stomach, but pushed them aside because we were
both happy and I thought it wasjust the memories. He asked me for
his class ring back and I toldhim I had no idea where it was.
(12:20):
I really didn't. We both endedup getting married to other people.
A few years ago, I foundhis class ring while going through some old
boxes. I don't have a rightto keep it, and figured his wife
would want it for sure for hisson and would love to have that someday.
So I called up my cousin andasked if he sees him very often,
and he said he would make surehe gets it to him. For
the last six month sixtish months,I've been having dreams about him. What
(12:41):
the heck is up with that?About my dreams? Some of my dreams
have predicted the future deja vu moments. So is that what these dreams are?
Or am I just reliving something thatI have romanticized in my head.
We were both different people than wewere over twenty years ago. I know
I'm a much better person that thanI was and have healed from past traumas.
We don't live too far from eachother and have run into each other
(13:01):
a few times over the years.I ran into him a few months ago.
We made some small talk. Ifthere would have been other people if
there wouldn't have been other people around, I would have loved to have had
a more in depth conversation. Thankhim for loving me and knowing who I
really was when I didn't. Maybeit would be closure. I don't know.
He will forever be that special firstlove and always have a piece of
my heart. I've had this emailin my draft for a couple of months.
(13:24):
We ran into each other a coupleof weeks ago and caught up on
each other's lives. Gosh, talkingwith him is so easy. I wish
I could go back and know whatI wish I could go back and know
what I know now, things wouldbe or could be different. It is
such an awful feeling to think thatyou could have been treated better and loved
better than you currently are. Idon't wish that upon anyone. Ah,
(13:45):
this just breaks my heart for you. I am so sorry you went through
that. I don't I'm going toguess every single person handles which you went
through very differently. And I alsojust I don't am for what you did.
I'm sure that that hurt him alot also, but it is interesting.
(14:07):
I'm sorry you were with someone andhad a child with someone who was
too immature to be there for you. I am sorry for a lot of
things, and I hope that youwill either be able to I think be
able to move on because it soundslike he's married and has a kid,
so we don't wish the worst forhim, but we wish the best for
you. So anyway, thank youfor sending your email. Okay, this
(14:28):
email says, does the saying rightperson, wrong time apply when you keep
circling back to someone ten thousand times? A laugh cry emoji. I was
actually on your Heartbroken podcast way backwhen with the story of my boyfriend who
at the time just up and leftone day and never came home. Well,
needless to say that man and Ibroke up. I had all but
(14:48):
given up on dating after that shitstorm of a breakup and countless situation ships.
When I matched with a guy onBubble in August of twenty nineteen,
I wasn't sure he was my type, but his pictures made him so fun
and adventurous. Plus he was tallas hell and oh so fit, so
I thought, what did I haveto lose. We set a date for
drinks, and when I tell you, it was love at first sight.
(15:09):
When this man walked in who Wespent three hours talking that night and closed
the place down. We spent anamazing year together before one day out of
the blue, in July of twentytwenty, he tells me he can't do
this anymore. He was mature andthoughtful during the breakup, but hearing the
person you were ready to spend therest of your life with doesn't feel the
same way is crushing. To saythe least I had and have never to
(15:31):
this day felt heartbreak like that.It took what felt like an eternity to
heal. Fast forward to a yearof no talking when in June of twenty
twenty one, he reaches out andsays he's been thinking about me and wanted
to check in. It felt likeall the stars aligned, and so I
eagerly suggested meeting up to catch up. We set a day to meet,
and the day of he calls meand tells me he can't because, drum
(15:54):
roll, he has a girl friend. He said he still misses me,
off regrets ending things, and becauseof those feelings for me, meeting up
wouldn't be right. I swear Iblacked out everything except he still misses me.
Pathetic, I know, fast forwardagain a few a few months to
November of twenty twenty one, whenhe reaches out again. We talk on
(16:14):
the phone and catch up and weagree to meet for drinks. In my
mind, he's single again and that'swhy he reached out. We go for
drinks, and the spark, theenergy, the feelings, they all come
crashing back. We fall back intothings and it isn't until a few months
pass and we're into early twenty twentytwo that I realized this man still has
a girlfriend. Yes, you readthat right. This should be the part
(16:38):
of the story where I say that'sthe end, and God, looking back,
do I wish it was. Westopped talking after I find out about
her, But for whatever reason,we cannot stay away from each other.
One of us is always reaching backout after time away, and we will
end up meeting up feeling the samelove, the spark and energy from the
first night we met, following easilyinto a month of old times before one
(17:00):
of us is inevitably realizing how dumbwe are and calls it off and we
go about our lives. I continuecasually dating and he continues with his girlfriend,
before one of us ends up pickingup that phone again knowing the other
will answer. So here we areApril of twenty twenty three, just deciding
for myself again that I cannot continueto do this after a few months of
(17:21):
back on, I feel so terriblefor being a willing participant in his infidelity.
I guess I always viewed our loveas right person, wrong time,
but I'm starting to see it's farmore complicated than that. Too much damage
has been done and I've compromised toomuch of myself for him to be the
right person. I just have toconvince my heart to believe my brain on
this one. Here's hoping this timesticks. Thanks for all you do and
(17:42):
for reading my email. Here's whatI know. The only thing you can
do if you really want to bedone is block him on everything and everyone.
I will say this, everyone saysI know, and nobody wants to
because there's still a little bit ofwant. And I've done years of heartbroken,
(18:03):
I've done months of this podcast,and I always get the same thing.
They find a way to reach meVenmo, Facebook, my work email,
and in those times all I knowis if they do, you have
to be strong there as well andjust block them. But see, we
all want that little bit of likeknowing they want us and we desire it,
(18:29):
and we hope this time will bedifferent. So I'm not going to
tell you anything you don't know,but I will tell you you know,
deep down, you are not theother woman. You are better than that,
and not because mistakes don't happen,but because you deserve more from someone
than that. Right. So thisis not an advice podcast, will I
(18:52):
would say that to my friend,though. You deserve someone to be someone's
main person and only person, andso I really hope you find that.
I think you're really gonna have toblock this person though, because you ended
at this time, So that meansit's April you said. Every few months
or so, one of you reachesout, knowing the other one will answer.
(19:15):
The only thing you can do.What do they say if you keep
doing the same thing and expecting differentresults, that's the definition of crazy or
something like that, or insanity.So to change it, you have to
not answer if he calls, youknow. So anyway, I wish you
the best because you realize you're like, ah, why am I doing this
to myself? Okay, here's ournext email. I'm excited I finally have
(19:38):
a story to share for one ofthese types of questions. So somewhere around
twenty two eleven, I was livingby myself with my dog in an apartment
building. At some point this guymoved in and was assigned to the parking
spot one over from me. I'dsee him all the time in the garage
and he'd always waved to me.After a few weeks of this, he
wrote a note with his name andphone number and stuck out on my car
windshield, and we texted for aweek or so, then a coffee date.
(20:02):
But then I had to fess upI was actually legally married. I
got married at nineteen when my highschool boyfriend was going to be deployed to
Iraq, and shocker, things weren'tgoing well. He cheated on me a
lot, but that's another story foranother time. Obviously, car note guy
and I didn't talk for a whileafter that, but remained friends on Facebook.
After I was officially divorced. Oneof us would periodically reach out to
(20:25):
the other, we'd go on acouple of dates, and then one of
us would ghost the other for variousreasons. In March twenty fifteen, Facebook
reminded me that it was his birthday, so I sent a message and asked
how he was. This time itstuck. We've been together for eight years
as of three thirty one. Wemoved in together in August of twenty sixteen,
got married in August of twenty eighteen, and had our beautiful daughter in
(20:47):
December of twenty nineteen. Side noteto add to the meant to be vibe,
I wasn't even supposed to be inthat apartment building or that parking spot.
Long story short, the apartment managementhad messed up and rented out the
apartment that I picked in the dogfriendly building, so I ended up in
this other building with the same floorplan. I didn't like the parking spot
(21:07):
that was assigned to the apartment,so I asked for a different one,
which was the spot I was parkedin when I got the note. I
one thousand percent believe that everything happensfor a reason and things work out exactly
how they're supposed to in the end. Thank you for reading. Love your
show, Brian, Oh, Ilove that. I love that you added
that last little bit too, becausewow, wow, that is so cool.
(21:32):
Heylan just saw your post and herewe go. Back in two thousand
and eight, I was twenty four, I had just gotten divorced and had
a two and a half year olddaughter. I started hanging out with a
guy named Adam, who was thirtyone and had a son with twin daughters.
We dated for about eight to ninemonths, but one of different things
and went our separate ways. Fastforward to twenty seventeen. I now have
five daughters, all with the fatherof my first child. No, we
(21:56):
never got remarried, but did tryto rekindle things, but officially broke that
off for good in twenty sixteen.And this isn't even the love story I'm
talking about l ol. And currentlysix months pregnant with another daughter with an
ex boyfriend. The biggest mistake yetan amazing blessing. Once I found out
I was pregnant, I was goingthrough a lot of emotions as I already
have five kids and I just fileda restraining order against this child's biological dad.
(22:19):
I thought of putting her up foradoption and needed a sign on what
to do. On October fourteenth,twenty seventeen, I saw a picture that
reminded me of Adam, my boyfriendfrom two thousand and eight, and in
my head, I thought, Iwonder what he's up to. I still
had his number on my phone,but I had never seen or heard from
him since two thousand and eighth,so I really had no idea if there
were still if it was still him. So I reached out and said hey.
(22:41):
Immediately I got a text back fromhim saying hey, and we chatted
a bed and then he asked ifI wanted to meet up to watch the
Badger basketball game. Okay, soat this point I needed to tell him
I was six months pregnant. Itold him, he didn't care, he
still wanted to meet me that night. We talked and talked, and he
told me that there was no wayI could give up my child for adoption.
(23:02):
Then twelve twenty seven came and Iwas thirty weeks pregnant and went into
labor. Adam spent all day withme at the hospital, stayed for the
delivery, and overnight with me.I knew at that point I was going
to marry this man someday. Well, now we fast forward to twenty twenty
three. We were finally married onthree fifteen. This man that I have
loved for so long is now myhusband. We have nine children together,
(23:26):
eight or girls and have an awesomelife. My youngest Sophia, which we
consider to be Adam's daughter as well, since he has been there for her
since day one, will now adopther. We all could not be more
excited. This is my love story. I hope you enjoy my story.
Oh I love that for you.That makes me so happy. That would
(23:47):
be scary, Bet Dubbs. I'msix months pregnant and look at this guy
just being like, I don't care. I love that for you. Congratulations.
This story came to mind when Isaw your post on Instagram. When
I was sixteen and eighteen, Istarted dating and well they started dating this
person at the end of his senioryear. We broke up. We had
(24:08):
a brief stint of dating in mylate teens, but after we didn't speak.
I was around twenty two and mybest friend and I happened to be
having a conversation about our former formerboyfriends and which ones were the best my
best day and I decided that Danny, the guy I was dating then,
was by far my best of myformer boyfriends, always respectful and you could
(24:29):
really tell he loved me. SoI decided to call Danny. I was
single I called his dad's house becauseit was the only number I had.
Danny wasn't there, but his daddelivered the message that I called and my
number. Danny called soon after,and the rest is history. We are
now married, short and sweet woo. I love it. Next week we'll
have a guest on the podcast,so I will leave you with a preview
(24:52):
of next week's episode. Thank youso much for listening to right person,
wrong time. I will be honest. I thought maybe the grass would be
greener. We got bored with eachother. I found I started dating an
attorney for a short amount of time, and I just I was in my
early, you know, mid twenties, and thought that I could find I
found him. Can I find better
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