May 16, 2023 • 25 mins
Today's episode is season 1's finale. Today's episode addresses addition. I start by reading a couple of emails and go into an interview with Seth discussing his relationship, and the ups and downs with his addiction throughout.
Thank you for listening to season 1!
Thank you for listening to season 1!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:16):
Hello, and welcome to the RightPerson, Wrong Time Podcast. I am
your host, Fallon. I'm goingto read a few emails. We have
a guest today, Seth will bejoining us. His portion is a little
bit shorter than some of the previousones I've had, So you know,
I thought, how about I diveinto some emails and this will be a
great way to round out season one. A few emails, a guest,
(00:38):
and just endless, endless amounts ofthank yous to you for listening and all
the feedback you've given along the way. It's always like, really helpful.
So let's start with this email,my Right Person, Wrong Time story.
It's about me and my current husband. It is the second marriage for both
of us. I'd like to shareabout how both of us made choices we
thought were right when we were youngerbecause of things we thought we wanted or
(01:02):
people we thought we were supposed tobe. I think a lot about what
you said on this so fail,so good podcast. That's a podcast I
did a few years ago. Iwas actually pregnant with a friend. And
you know what's funny, of allthe podcast interviews I've ever done, I
like that one the best because Igave my full story, which sounds I
(01:22):
don't know. Her name is Laura, and she I thought she did a
great job hosting the podcast isn't athing anymore. She's very busy. She
runs a full business. But anyway, I think that episode is still out
there and it tells like my fullstory of how I got where I am.
Anyway, she thinks about, let'ssee what I said on that podcast
about how sometimes the things you thinkyou want and you work really hard for
(01:42):
aren't actually what you want and youdon't realize it until later. Okay,
so let me go with that.That's like a valuable lesson I have had
to practice, because my example isI would see someone else in radio who
also had newspaper column and I'd belike, oh, I should I should
be doing that, And then Iwould sit there and think about it.
(02:06):
I'm like, I am not agreat writer. I don't actually enjoy writing
that much. Why do I thinkI want that? I don't want that
at all. So I think alot of the times we think we want
things because we'll see someone else havethem and we're a little bit jealous of
them, and then you're like,wait a minute, but I don't actually
want to do that, So anyway, that's something I learned along the way.
(02:29):
She says, in our case,we learned a lot about who we
truly were and what we wanted afterwe had invested a lot of time and
energy into being people we weren't.Now we are on the other side of
some of the consequences of former relationships. When I was younger, I was
very entrenched in a particular religion andthought I wanted a marriage based on that
religion. I had a child alreadyat the time and thought that one no
(02:52):
one would want to date me becauseI had a child from a former relationship
and some baggage too that I neededto find a father figure for my daughter
so I could give her the rightkind of family. So I married someone
else quickly, who I didn't reallyknow and who wasn't the right person for
me. My husband's story is similarto mine, minus the religious aspects.
He too has children from a formerrelationship and some complications with his ex.
(03:15):
In some ways, our pasts arewhat helped us relate to each other,
but in other ways we have bothbeen affected by past relationships and working on
feeling secure together with the right person. At the wrong time because we finally
found each other, but we haveso many responsibilities. He has two kids
that he brought into our relationship andI have three. Then we had one
(03:37):
together. Some people might think we'recrazy for having one more, but it's
a strange paradox where you finally meetthe person you wish you would have met
when you were twenty. I'm nowthirty four, he's forty two, and
you just want to do the familythings with the person you love. I
love my husband. He understands methe way I wish someone would have understood
me in my whole life. Hemakes me laugh so hard i pee my
(03:57):
pants. I mean, I've hadfour kids. He inspires my creativity and
I can talk with him for hours. But now that we both have so
many kids and work full time,we struggle to find time to do the
basic things that any couple wants.Go on dinner dates, have a five
minute conversation without interruptions, have anight alone together, or hell, maybe
even a week end trip. However, we make it work despite x drama,
(04:18):
lack of time, and what feelslike the one thousand needs we have
to meet for our kids. Onyour podcast, I Am happy to share.
Oh I think she oh, Ithink she was asking to be a
guest on here. Okay, Iapologize, I did not realize that.
I am so sorry. But youknow what, there's always season two that
(04:42):
is. I mean, that's alot in the relationship that would be so
hard. I always hear blended families. I mean, you are You're balancing
so many different schedules. You're notas balancing your kids schedules, You're balancing
the excess schedules. And I'm reallyhappy you found that person. I think
you'll realize later happy You'll be happyyou found them at thirty four, because
thirty four just isn't that old,you know. Yeah, you wish you
(05:04):
found them at twenty for sure,or even twenty five. But I still
I don't think you're crazy for havinga kid together. And I am happy
you found each other and you canfinally be yourself. And I will say
this, I think a lot ofpeople get in their heads. I think
it's becoming more acceptable to be likea single parent, you know, where
(05:25):
you don't look at yourself as like, oh, I have so much baggage,
who would want to date me?You know what I mean? I
mean Jake had a kid when wemet, and I never wanted kids,
but I then saw him as adad and I was like, oh wow,
you know what a a This isa quality person, you know what
I mean? So anyway, okay, let's jump into another one. Okay,
(05:46):
she says, this is a differenttake on right person, wrong time,
so we'll find out a quick breakdown. I was with someone for thirteen
years since I was sixteen years old, who moved. He moved in with
me and my family after a longdistance dating for eight months and has lived
with us ever since. We weretogether for ten years, culturally married for
three years, and now divorced.I honestly believe that we were brought into
each other's lives for a reason.That reason was to save each other and
(06:10):
help guide each other through our toughesttimes. There's so many interesting factors that
pulled us together. It's crazy howthe universe works. But before we met,
I was a young, stupid orvalue school dropout that couldn't find my
way out of a hell hole Iwas in. He was a twenty one
year old. Yes, I knowthere is an age difference, disgusting now,
but it was kind of normal inthe monk community, struggling to survive
(06:30):
living with his mom, trying tofigure out what he wanted to do with
his life. She was sixteen,by the way, I think I said
that, but just in case.There were so many things wrong on our
relationship, so many things that couldwould have should have been easily fixed,
but because of ego, selfishness,and pride, we couldn't conquer the struggles.
It was the most heartbreaking situation forme. I was so miserable and
unhappy in the relationship because he didn'tknow how to love me. He could
(06:54):
have been the perfect man, buthe lacked the emotional connection that I so
truly needed as a woman. Iwas so hurt, but through it all,
I gained so much self love,self respect, and saw my self
worth. I can now say thatI have never been happier in my life.
It was the best decision I've evermade to leave the relationship. He
was also a big jerk during thebreakup, so it made it ten times
easier to leave, but it wasan ugly and toxic breakup. He really
(07:17):
showed me his true colors. Theperson whom I thought I once knew and
loved turned into someone I didn't evenrecognize. You think you know someone,
but wait until you get a divorceor breakup. Then you see who they
truly are. I made a poston Facebook announcing my divorce and independence to
all my friends and got so manyof my girlfriends messaging me afterward asking how
I did it? How did Ifind the courage? All these women who
(07:40):
thought I had the perfect relationship allstarted coming forward to me for help.
I've never felt so good but sadfor all these women who are going through
the same or similar situations. Iwanted to tell my story to help others
who can't find the strength. Peoplewill listen to who they want to,
and when they do, it'll opentheir eyes. That has happened to me
plenty of times. I'll have I'llhave friends give me so much advice but
(08:01):
not listen, and then I gowatch some random movie or YouTube video and
learn the same thing and decide tolisten to them instead. L O L
It's true, It's true. Andthen that your friends are like, I
told you this for so long,and you're like, I know, I
just needed to experience it for myself. That's why when you know your friends
in terrible toxic relationship and they needto get out. You pretty much can
do nothing but be there to supportthem and listen to them until they figure
(08:24):
it out for themselves. Anyway,thank you again, so much, so
much, so much for listening toseason one of Right Person, Wrong Time.
We're going to jump into our interviewwith Seth. Seth is joining me
this morning. Thank you so muchfor doing this. Seth. Let's go
ahead and dive into your relationship withSarah. Let's start from the beginning.
How did you guys meet? Okay, So we met in two thousand and
(08:46):
nine and she first met me.It was a guy that was in school.
He told her you have to meetthis guy. You have to meet
this guy. And she didn't understandwhy. She's like, okay, So
that first time we met, wemet several times she met me. She
was like, I was quiet,I didn't really talk to any I didn't
talk to her at all, likeand so afterwards she said to the guy,
(09:09):
why did I have to meet thisguy? So now look at you
know. Then the second time herbrothers were having a party, I went
over to the house. I wasinterested in her. I was trying to,
you know, talk to her andstuff. But we were juvenile,
we were younger then, and youknow, we weren't supposed to be partying
at her mom's house. And sheliterally was like, you know, pretty
(09:31):
much pretty much pushing me off.Like you know, she was, Yeah,
she's three years older than me.So she's like, okay, kid,
like stop, you know, stop, it's not happening. Yeah,
yes, exactly. She was like, just didn't know. I'm good.
Then the third time I guess thatI got a ride from her, Me
and her brother got a ride fromher seat. I was friends with her
(09:52):
brother, both of her brothers.And then when we got the ride from
her, I asked her to braidmy hair, which we had long flowing
locks at the time. Yes,I had. I had sort of the
MGK look back in those days,with just the long hair on top and
the side shaved. Yes, okay, okay, so yeah, good play
(10:13):
to be like, oh will youbraid my hair? Gotcha? Yes?
Yes? Uh. And then soshe apparently she thought I was older.
I have several brothers and stuff,but she thought I was an older brother
when she had met me. Um, so therefore she thought I was older,
so she was she Then then shewas down to date me. Then,
but then when she found out Iwas nineteen and she was twenty two,
(10:35):
she was like, oh, Idid not know you're a child.
Yeah, and then and then whichshe not interested again? Or did you
kind of move past that? Um? She moved past that because she said
I thought you were my age orif not older than me. So then
she she realized I was She didn'treally know fully what I was about.
Um. We were together for along time since to the nine ups and
(11:01):
downs. I did really bad things. I was in and out of treatment,
jail, prison, did drugs.I was just I was doing I
was doing really bad things. Iteven got so bad to a point one
time I stole her car or Itook her car without asking how. Yeah,
so let's go back to that seth. I mean, first of all,
(11:22):
it sounds like you've been through alot of learning through life. Maybe
like you said that you have you'veused. So what kind of what I
think you feel comfortable sharing? Whatkind of drugs were you using? Is
that what led you to steal?Because those things typically go hand in hand
because you're looking to gain access tomore drugs usually if you're addicted, yes,
(11:43):
one hundred percent, Yeah, I'mtotally open book. I just spoke
at a treatment center the other daytoo. Yeah, I was doing absolutely
everything. I'm nine years sober nowas of March twenty eighth, but yeah,
I was doing absolutely anything that Icould do. So, yes,
it was definitely four drugs. Andwhy do you think Sarah let you in
and out of her life throughout thesetimes? Because that especially was the was
(12:09):
the stealing the car, the finalthe final straw or what happened that was
like when she started saying, okay, this is crazy because she partied as
well, but she wasn't like me. She had a job, you know,
she's a hairstylist, and so shewent to work. You know,
she was functional, She did herthing so and she always was paying for
the apartments and all of that.But then finally, though, yes,
(12:30):
she finally was like after the carthing and all those types of things,
she was like, this cycle isdone. I will never do drugs again
with you. I'll never do I'llnever drink with you. Nothing. She
was done. And what was thatlike for you? Was that were you
kind of so far into it atthat point you were like whatever, because
I'm not stopping this or was thata wake up call for you. No,
(12:54):
I didn't stop because of that.I was, but it was it
was getting to me. I'm like, okay, she is. I definitely
took it into account because I wasin love with her. I was with
her two thousand and nine, andby this time when she was done with
the cycle, it was twenty fourteen. Wow. So she you guys had
gone through a lot together at thatpoint. I know you said you first
of all, congratulations on being nineyears sober. That's that's absolutely amazing.
(13:18):
I have to imagine that was notan easy process for you. But I
just I wonder a lot of people, I mean, is it Do you
think it's because she knew you beforehand? So she just she knew what you
were like before this, Because it'shard for most people to imagine staying with
someone, even if you're partying,if you're able to be responsible and pay
(13:39):
the bills, it's hard to likebe with someone and support someone and be
like, what are you doing.You're not doing anything to support our lives.
You're, if anything, you're wreckingour lives. It seems, so,
I mean, is it do youthink it's all because she just loved
you so much? From knowing youbefore all of this, that she stayed
with you through it well. Andactually she talked about that. The last
(14:00):
time I was in jail two shesent me a letter saying that because she
wouldn't call me, she wouldn't talkto me, she wouldn't put any money
on my books, nothing. Sheliterally wrote me a letter saying, like,
I'm done. I want to havea life I wanted because she had
when we met too. I didn'tmention to me and him are very close
now and obviously with the nine yearssober, but oh oh wolf Spot.
She had a three year old kidwhen I met her too, So she
(14:22):
was not she was finally, Yes, she was. She was done.
Yeah, I mean because she doesn'twant that in her child's life. And
it sounds like she let you bea part of his her child's life.
I'm guessing for a while. Andsince you guys were to gather from two
thousand nine to twenty fourteen, throughthe more hectic times, so you went
(14:43):
in and you did get Uh didyou did you go to a rehab facility,
a treatment facility or was it justso bring up in jail or what
was it for you? Um?It finally was my like probably since I
was because I was in and outof treatment though, since I was a
kid like eleven years old. Butthis was like my seventh eighth treatment center
and I finally it finally clicked goingto a What do you think I mean?
(15:05):
The podcast isn't about this, butI think people were curious. What
because you hear about people going inand out, in and out, and
it's devastating for the loved ones aroundthem, for the actual people because you
feel like you've got ahold of itand then something happens. What do you
think it was that finally clicked foryou on that seventh or eighth time.
(15:26):
Um, there were a lot ofspiritual awakenings I had. But the biggest
thing I heard when I was goingto a meetings with somebody said, your
bottoms when you stopped digging, sojust put the shovel down, And it
just clicked. I was like,just put the shovel down, stop it.
Wow. When you were going thisthat most recent time, were you
guys broken up or were you together? Um? Well, in in my
(15:48):
delusional mind, I always thought wewere together, right, ah okay?
And she would talk to people andlike it would just be sort of like
like I would talk to people,they'd be like, she's not with you.
But you know, I was inthat delusional stage where I, you
know, always thought we were together, you know, but in her mind,
she was just like, you know, get away. Yeah she was.
She was done with it, andI'm sure you can't blame her for
(16:12):
that. But no, So whenyou got out, did you go back
to her because you're like, oh, we're together, and she's like,
what are you doing? We're nottogether? That was yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, I'm like, yeah,so did it all? But this
time I was different because, likeI said, I had spiritual awakening.
So I was like, okay,I'll give you space. And then that
sort of tripped her out that Iwas being different, you know. Um,
(16:34):
So then she's like, all right, let's let's see what happens,
you know. And so then wegot back together. And the whole time
we never could have kids. Fromtwo thousand nine twenty fourteen and boom,
she's pregnant and I'm three months ober. Wow. Yep. So during that
time, she only you only hadwell, she had one child. You
guys didn't have any kids together.Yes, yeah, okay, when you've
(16:57):
talked to her about this, Whyhas she when she's talked to you about
it? Why did she keep youin her life? Do you think?
And because it seems to me likeit's obvious for you because you loved her
and you were getting supported, soit seems like an easy space for you
(17:18):
to be in, but it doesn'tsound as easy for her, and you
acknowledge that. I think was itdifficult for you? I mean, even
though you're showing different signs. Wasshe afraid and just waiting for you to
go back to your old ways again? Or what was going on in your
relationship? Was it? Was ittumultuous after that last time or was it
pretty smooth sailing? Well, that'swhat's crazy. We were actually talking about
(17:42):
this before we started doing this,and she was saying that it was because
she always knew deep down that therewas that version of me, and she
did believe that one day I wouldget sober. But she wrote in that
letter to me the last time Iwent in, saying I don't think it's
going to be with me, butI believe there's that good person inside of
(18:02):
you. So she said that's whatkept her around. Wow, So you
get out you kind of show thatthings are different. She let you back
into her life. You said,within three months, she's pregnant, So
what happens from there? So thenshe's like, oh my gosh, you
know, like because we could neverhave kids. That's a whole nother backstory.
(18:23):
Like I had a very casille Ihad surgery to where the doctor said
ninety nine percent chance you'll never havekids. That's a whole nother thing.
So when this happened, I actuallywent and got checked and the doctor said,
I don't know if it's a miracle, but you can have kids.
Man, I don't know what happened. So she was freaking out though,
and she started buying drug tests online, you know, and giving me drug
(18:44):
tests all the time. And Iwas on probation, so I was getting
drug tests by the po by her, and she couldn't believe it. But
I stayed sober, I kept goingto meetings, and it kept going good.
That's amazing. And I'm sure youcan't blame her for, you know,
wanting to test you. That isa lot for you. But did
you feel it was your duty andyou owed her that much? Yes,
And those were the types of thingsthat were blowing your mind because she'd be
(19:07):
like, all right, let's doa UA and then I'd just go,
okay, baby, yeah understand.You know I was being so understanding about
everything. Yeah, and then youobviously had a baby, and having a
baby is really difficult. That canthat can really challenge a relationship in general.
Yep, yep. So what wasthat like for you guys? Well,
(19:29):
see, and like I said,we had been together so long and
had a kid. We were justwe were just stoked over the moon,
like it was. It was allgood and all the little victories that were
leading up to that, like Ididn't mention, like I ended up going
getting a job, getting my license, you know, saving up money,
so like everything was progressing in agood way. So it was all good
good. I'm I love hearing that. And then, um, you how
(19:52):
you've since then? Where is yourrelationship now? Where is it? Lad?
You had a baby? When didyou have your first baby? What
year with that? We had ourfirst baby twenty fifteen, Like I said,
I got sober in twenty fourteen,and since then we've had four babies.
Wow, So yeah, you definitelycan have kids then and you just
had one pretty recently, right,Yeah, yep, he is twelve days
(20:15):
old. Wow, and um,you guys got married at some point.
Yes, tell me about that.When did you get married? When did
you propose? Tell me about it? Well, I proposed shortly after.
That was part of the smaller victories. I proposed with a ring, and
there's patrone on that too. Therewere several times that I did propose with
(20:37):
rings, but when I was badin my addiction, I would sell the
rings horribly enough. But this timeshe still has the ring and I proposed
and we just we just got married, like we did it as a silent
thing of ourselves, you know,yeah, no big thing. Yeah,
what do your families think? Imean, now it's been it's nine years,
(21:00):
I'm sure that they've all moved pastit. But I'm sure that wasn't
easy for either of your families throughoutthis whole process. No, yeah,
both of our families were definitely,like you know, on that same perspective.
But we both I won't say theirbusiness, but on both of our
sides though, we've had addiction andother things in that lifestyle, you know,
(21:21):
so a lot of it would bethere'd be judgments, but at the
same time, you know, everyonehas their own things, So I feel
like people still though when they dosay it, Man, you've came far.
I can't believe you. Guys,you know, because we've done a
lot. We're big into finances andwe've saved up and sold houses, and
we're just they yeah, it's shockingpretty much. Do you feel like you're
(21:42):
kind of an exception in this situation, Like with you having four kids,
I'm assuming you have at least onedaughter. I mean, I'm always curious
because I feel like you have abetter perception of the life of an addict.
But we've had people email like ourshow before and they start dating someone,
they have a lot of lat incommon, they really like them,
(22:03):
and then they do find out aboutthat past, and it's very scary because
they don't like Unlike your situation,they don't know the person before necessarily,
they don't have all this history,and it's enough to spook a lot of
people away. What would your advicebe to someone? I would say on
both sides of it, to someonewho is seeking help and wondering if they'll
(22:26):
ever get out of their addiction,and to someone who maybe is encountering someone
going through it and thinking do Idate someone like this. Ah, Yes,
I know what you're saying. Yeah, For people who are dating someone
in that cycle of addiction, it'sbest to not enable. Its best to
not you know, give money.It's best to like, if you're going
(22:47):
to be with that person, youlet them know that I'm going to be
with you, but just to bewith you and not to be you know,
enabling you to you know, getyour stuff or give you money.
Because once my family and my wifenow all that, once they all stopped,
it really opens that addict's mind.Yes, as someone maybe who is
(23:10):
in that place that you were,what advice would you have for someone that
thinks that they're never going to getout of this cycle because you did it
and you're still doing it. Iwould say that the illusion that drugs and
alcohol are the problem is actually notthe problem. The problem centers in the
mind, and the actual problem isinside of you not loving yourself, so
(23:33):
you don't even need it's not aboutthe drugs and alcohol. You need to
find peace, and in order tofind peace, doing drugs and alcohol is
not going to get you there.It's going to just keep causing turmoil in
your life. So if you justput the drugs and alcohol down and give
yourself a chance to love yourself.You can see that there's there's a chance.
Yeah, Seth, I know youyou really. I know this episode
(23:56):
is a little bit unique because it'snot like we have a given I feel
like a ton of detail into youractual relationship. But we've kind of talked
more about some of the difficult aspectsof the relationship. But I also know
that you do, like you havea YouTube and TikTok and things like this
where you maybe you talk about andkind of help motivate people. So I
want you to give a little shoutout to that stuff too if people want
(24:18):
to check you out. Oh that'sawesome. Yeah, it's Seth Leroy Adventures.
That's on YouTube, that's on TikTok, that's on you know everything from
you know, everything that we've done. We've done so many fun things,
and it's just it's about our life, our kids. I mean, we've
ran businesses, We've done a bunchof fun stuff. But now it's just
(24:41):
literally vlogging for motivation inspiration if peopleneed help. I help people with businesses
too, and I help people growtheir businesses. And it's just been it's
been a really fun journey. Okay, well, I appreciate you coming on
and sharing your story. I mean, it's I think it's different cult to
share such a vulnerable part of yourlife. So I appreciate you sharing that.
(25:03):
And congratulations again to you and Sarah, especially on your newest baby.
Thank you so much
Hello, and welcome to the RightPerson, Wrong Time Podcast. I am
your host, Fallon. I'm goingto read a few emails. We have
a guest today, Seth will bejoining us. His portion is a little
bit shorter than some of the previousones I've had, So you know,
I thought, how about I diveinto some emails and this will be a
great way to round out season one. A few emails, a guest,
(00:38):
and just endless, endless amounts ofthank yous to you for listening and all
the feedback you've given along the way. It's always like, really helpful.
So let's start with this email,my Right Person, Wrong Time story.
It's about me and my current husband. It is the second marriage for both
of us. I'd like to shareabout how both of us made choices we
thought were right when we were youngerbecause of things we thought we wanted or
(01:02):
people we thought we were supposed tobe. I think a lot about what
you said on this so fail,so good podcast. That's a podcast I
did a few years ago. Iwas actually pregnant with a friend. And
you know what's funny, of allthe podcast interviews I've ever done, I
like that one the best because Igave my full story, which sounds I
(01:22):
don't know. Her name is Laura, and she I thought she did a
great job hosting the podcast isn't athing anymore. She's very busy. She
runs a full business. But anyway, I think that episode is still out
there and it tells like my fullstory of how I got where I am.
Anyway, she thinks about, let'ssee what I said on that podcast
about how sometimes the things you thinkyou want and you work really hard for
(01:42):
aren't actually what you want and youdon't realize it until later. Okay,
so let me go with that.That's like a valuable lesson I have had
to practice, because my example isI would see someone else in radio who
also had newspaper column and I'd belike, oh, I should I should
be doing that, And then Iwould sit there and think about it.
(02:06):
I'm like, I am not agreat writer. I don't actually enjoy writing
that much. Why do I thinkI want that? I don't want that
at all. So I think alot of the times we think we want
things because we'll see someone else havethem and we're a little bit jealous of
them, and then you're like,wait a minute, but I don't actually
want to do that, So anyway, that's something I learned along the way.
(02:29):
She says, in our case,we learned a lot about who we
truly were and what we wanted afterwe had invested a lot of time and
energy into being people we weren't.Now we are on the other side of
some of the consequences of former relationships. When I was younger, I was
very entrenched in a particular religion andthought I wanted a marriage based on that
religion. I had a child alreadyat the time and thought that one no
(02:52):
one would want to date me becauseI had a child from a former relationship
and some baggage too that I neededto find a father figure for my daughter
so I could give her the rightkind of family. So I married someone
else quickly, who I didn't reallyknow and who wasn't the right person for
me. My husband's story is similarto mine, minus the religious aspects.
He too has children from a formerrelationship and some complications with his ex.
(03:15):
In some ways, our pasts arewhat helped us relate to each other,
but in other ways we have bothbeen affected by past relationships and working on
feeling secure together with the right person. At the wrong time because we finally
found each other, but we haveso many responsibilities. He has two kids
that he brought into our relationship andI have three. Then we had one
(03:37):
together. Some people might think we'recrazy for having one more, but it's
a strange paradox where you finally meetthe person you wish you would have met
when you were twenty. I'm nowthirty four, he's forty two, and
you just want to do the familythings with the person you love. I
love my husband. He understands methe way I wish someone would have understood
me in my whole life. Hemakes me laugh so hard i pee my
(03:57):
pants. I mean, I've hadfour kids. He inspires my creativity and
I can talk with him for hours. But now that we both have so
many kids and work full time,we struggle to find time to do the
basic things that any couple wants.Go on dinner dates, have a five
minute conversation without interruptions, have anight alone together, or hell, maybe
even a week end trip. However, we make it work despite x drama,
(04:18):
lack of time, and what feelslike the one thousand needs we have
to meet for our kids. Onyour podcast, I Am happy to share.
Oh I think she oh, Ithink she was asking to be a
guest on here. Okay, Iapologize, I did not realize that.
I am so sorry. But youknow what, there's always season two that
(04:42):
is. I mean, that's alot in the relationship that would be so
hard. I always hear blended families. I mean, you are You're balancing
so many different schedules. You're notas balancing your kids schedules, You're balancing
the excess schedules. And I'm reallyhappy you found that person. I think
you'll realize later happy You'll be happyyou found them at thirty four, because
thirty four just isn't that old,you know. Yeah, you wish you
(05:04):
found them at twenty for sure,or even twenty five. But I still
I don't think you're crazy for havinga kid together. And I am happy
you found each other and you canfinally be yourself. And I will say
this, I think a lot ofpeople get in their heads. I think
it's becoming more acceptable to be likea single parent, you know, where
(05:25):
you don't look at yourself as like, oh, I have so much baggage,
who would want to date me?You know what I mean? I
mean Jake had a kid when wemet, and I never wanted kids,
but I then saw him as adad and I was like, oh wow,
you know what a a This isa quality person, you know what
I mean? So anyway, okay, let's jump into another one. Okay,
(05:46):
she says, this is a differenttake on right person, wrong time,
so we'll find out a quick breakdown. I was with someone for thirteen
years since I was sixteen years old, who moved. He moved in with
me and my family after a longdistance dating for eight months and has lived
with us ever since. We weretogether for ten years, culturally married for
three years, and now divorced.I honestly believe that we were brought into
each other's lives for a reason.That reason was to save each other and
(06:10):
help guide each other through our toughesttimes. There's so many interesting factors that
pulled us together. It's crazy howthe universe works. But before we met,
I was a young, stupid orvalue school dropout that couldn't find my
way out of a hell hole Iwas in. He was a twenty one
year old. Yes, I knowthere is an age difference, disgusting now,
but it was kind of normal inthe monk community, struggling to survive
(06:30):
living with his mom, trying tofigure out what he wanted to do with
his life. She was sixteen,by the way, I think I said
that, but just in case.There were so many things wrong on our
relationship, so many things that couldwould have should have been easily fixed,
but because of ego, selfishness,and pride, we couldn't conquer the struggles.
It was the most heartbreaking situation forme. I was so miserable and
unhappy in the relationship because he didn'tknow how to love me. He could
(06:54):
have been the perfect man, buthe lacked the emotional connection that I so
truly needed as a woman. Iwas so hurt, but through it all,
I gained so much self love,self respect, and saw my self
worth. I can now say thatI have never been happier in my life.
It was the best decision I've evermade to leave the relationship. He
was also a big jerk during thebreakup, so it made it ten times
easier to leave, but it wasan ugly and toxic breakup. He really
(07:17):
showed me his true colors. Theperson whom I thought I once knew and
loved turned into someone I didn't evenrecognize. You think you know someone,
but wait until you get a divorceor breakup. Then you see who they
truly are. I made a poston Facebook announcing my divorce and independence to
all my friends and got so manyof my girlfriends messaging me afterward asking how
I did it? How did Ifind the courage? All these women who
(07:40):
thought I had the perfect relationship allstarted coming forward to me for help.
I've never felt so good but sadfor all these women who are going through
the same or similar situations. Iwanted to tell my story to help others
who can't find the strength. Peoplewill listen to who they want to,
and when they do, it'll opentheir eyes. That has happened to me
plenty of times. I'll have I'llhave friends give me so much advice but
(08:01):
not listen, and then I gowatch some random movie or YouTube video and
learn the same thing and decide tolisten to them instead. L O L
It's true, It's true. Andthen that your friends are like, I
told you this for so long,and you're like, I know, I
just needed to experience it for myself. That's why when you know your friends
in terrible toxic relationship and they needto get out. You pretty much can
do nothing but be there to supportthem and listen to them until they figure
(08:24):
it out for themselves. Anyway,thank you again, so much, so
much, so much for listening toseason one of Right Person, Wrong Time.
We're going to jump into our interviewwith Seth. Seth is joining me
this morning. Thank you so muchfor doing this. Seth. Let's go
ahead and dive into your relationship withSarah. Let's start from the beginning.
How did you guys meet? Okay, So we met in two thousand and
(08:46):
nine and she first met me.It was a guy that was in school.
He told her you have to meetthis guy. You have to meet
this guy. And she didn't understandwhy. She's like, okay, So
that first time we met, wemet several times she met me. She
was like, I was quiet,I didn't really talk to any I didn't
talk to her at all, likeand so afterwards she said to the guy,
(09:09):
why did I have to meet thisguy? So now look at you
know. Then the second time herbrothers were having a party, I went
over to the house. I wasinterested in her. I was trying to,
you know, talk to her andstuff. But we were juvenile,
we were younger then, and youknow, we weren't supposed to be partying
at her mom's house. And sheliterally was like, you know, pretty
(09:31):
much pretty much pushing me off.Like you know, she was, Yeah,
she's three years older than me.So she's like, okay, kid,
like stop, you know, stop, it's not happening. Yeah,
yes, exactly. She was like, just didn't know. I'm good.
Then the third time I guess thatI got a ride from her, Me
and her brother got a ride fromher seat. I was friends with her
(09:52):
brother, both of her brothers.And then when we got the ride from
her, I asked her to braidmy hair, which we had long flowing
locks at the time. Yes,I had. I had sort of the
MGK look back in those days,with just the long hair on top and
the side shaved. Yes, okay, okay, so yeah, good play
(10:13):
to be like, oh will youbraid my hair? Gotcha? Yes?
Yes? Uh. And then soshe apparently she thought I was older.
I have several brothers and stuff,but she thought I was an older brother
when she had met me. Um, so therefore she thought I was older,
so she was she Then then shewas down to date me. Then,
but then when she found out Iwas nineteen and she was twenty two,
(10:35):
she was like, oh, Idid not know you're a child.
Yeah, and then and then whichshe not interested again? Or did you
kind of move past that? Um? She moved past that because she said
I thought you were my age orif not older than me. So then
she she realized I was She didn'treally know fully what I was about.
Um. We were together for along time since to the nine ups and
(11:01):
downs. I did really bad things. I was in and out of treatment,
jail, prison, did drugs.I was just I was doing I
was doing really bad things. Iteven got so bad to a point one
time I stole her car or Itook her car without asking how. Yeah,
so let's go back to that seth. I mean, first of all,
(11:22):
it sounds like you've been through alot of learning through life. Maybe
like you said that you have you'veused. So what kind of what I
think you feel comfortable sharing? Whatkind of drugs were you using? Is
that what led you to steal?Because those things typically go hand in hand
because you're looking to gain access tomore drugs usually if you're addicted, yes,
(11:43):
one hundred percent, Yeah, I'mtotally open book. I just spoke
at a treatment center the other daytoo. Yeah, I was doing absolutely
everything. I'm nine years sober nowas of March twenty eighth, but yeah,
I was doing absolutely anything that Icould do. So, yes,
it was definitely four drugs. Andwhy do you think Sarah let you in
and out of her life throughout thesetimes? Because that especially was the was
(12:09):
the stealing the car, the finalthe final straw or what happened that was
like when she started saying, okay, this is crazy because she partied as
well, but she wasn't like me. She had a job, you know,
she's a hairstylist, and so shewent to work. You know,
she was functional, She did herthing so and she always was paying for
the apartments and all of that.But then finally, though, yes,
(12:30):
she finally was like after the carthing and all those types of things,
she was like, this cycle isdone. I will never do drugs again
with you. I'll never do I'llnever drink with you. Nothing. She
was done. And what was thatlike for you? Was that were you
kind of so far into it atthat point you were like whatever, because
I'm not stopping this or was thata wake up call for you. No,
(12:54):
I didn't stop because of that.I was, but it was it
was getting to me. I'm like, okay, she is. I definitely
took it into account because I wasin love with her. I was with
her two thousand and nine, andby this time when she was done with
the cycle, it was twenty fourteen. Wow. So she you guys had
gone through a lot together at thatpoint. I know you said you first
of all, congratulations on being nineyears sober. That's that's absolutely amazing.
(13:18):
I have to imagine that was notan easy process for you. But I
just I wonder a lot of people, I mean, is it Do you
think it's because she knew you beforehand? So she just she knew what you
were like before this, Because it'shard for most people to imagine staying with
someone, even if you're partying,if you're able to be responsible and pay
(13:39):
the bills, it's hard to likebe with someone and support someone and be
like, what are you doing.You're not doing anything to support our lives.
You're, if anything, you're wreckingour lives. It seems, so,
I mean, is it do youthink it's all because she just loved
you so much? From knowing youbefore all of this, that she stayed
with you through it well. Andactually she talked about that. The last
(14:00):
time I was in jail two shesent me a letter saying that because she
wouldn't call me, she wouldn't talkto me, she wouldn't put any money
on my books, nothing. Sheliterally wrote me a letter saying, like,
I'm done. I want to havea life I wanted because she had
when we met too. I didn'tmention to me and him are very close
now and obviously with the nine yearssober, but oh oh wolf Spot.
She had a three year old kidwhen I met her too, So she
(14:22):
was not she was finally, Yes, she was. She was done.
Yeah, I mean because she doesn'twant that in her child's life. And
it sounds like she let you bea part of his her child's life.
I'm guessing for a while. Andsince you guys were to gather from two
thousand nine to twenty fourteen, throughthe more hectic times, so you went
(14:43):
in and you did get Uh didyou did you go to a rehab facility,
a treatment facility or was it justso bring up in jail or what
was it for you? Um?It finally was my like probably since I
was because I was in and outof treatment though, since I was a
kid like eleven years old. Butthis was like my seventh eighth treatment center
and I finally it finally clicked goingto a What do you think I mean?
(15:05):
The podcast isn't about this, butI think people were curious. What
because you hear about people going inand out, in and out, and
it's devastating for the loved ones aroundthem, for the actual people because you
feel like you've got ahold of itand then something happens. What do you
think it was that finally clicked foryou on that seventh or eighth time.
(15:26):
Um, there were a lot ofspiritual awakenings I had. But the biggest
thing I heard when I was goingto a meetings with somebody said, your
bottoms when you stopped digging, sojust put the shovel down, And it
just clicked. I was like,just put the shovel down, stop it.
Wow. When you were going thisthat most recent time, were you
guys broken up or were you together? Um? Well, in in my
(15:48):
delusional mind, I always thought wewere together, right, ah okay?
And she would talk to people andlike it would just be sort of like
like I would talk to people,they'd be like, she's not with you.
But you know, I was inthat delusional stage where I, you
know, always thought we were together, you know, but in her mind,
she was just like, you know, get away. Yeah she was.
She was done with it, andI'm sure you can't blame her for
(16:12):
that. But no, So whenyou got out, did you go back
to her because you're like, oh, we're together, and she's like,
what are you doing? We're nottogether? That was yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, I'm like, yeah,so did it all? But this
time I was different because, likeI said, I had spiritual awakening.
So I was like, okay,I'll give you space. And then that
sort of tripped her out that Iwas being different, you know. Um,
(16:34):
So then she's like, all right, let's let's see what happens,
you know. And so then wegot back together. And the whole time
we never could have kids. Fromtwo thousand nine twenty fourteen and boom,
she's pregnant and I'm three months ober. Wow. Yep. So during that
time, she only you only hadwell, she had one child. You
guys didn't have any kids together.Yes, yeah, okay, when you've
(16:57):
talked to her about this, Whyhas she when she's talked to you about
it? Why did she keep youin her life? Do you think?
And because it seems to me likeit's obvious for you because you loved her
and you were getting supported, soit seems like an easy space for you
(17:18):
to be in, but it doesn'tsound as easy for her, and you
acknowledge that. I think was itdifficult for you? I mean, even
though you're showing different signs. Wasshe afraid and just waiting for you to
go back to your old ways again? Or what was going on in your
relationship? Was it? Was ittumultuous after that last time or was it
pretty smooth sailing? Well, that'swhat's crazy. We were actually talking about
(17:42):
this before we started doing this,and she was saying that it was because
she always knew deep down that therewas that version of me, and she
did believe that one day I wouldget sober. But she wrote in that
letter to me the last time Iwent in, saying I don't think it's
going to be with me, butI believe there's that good person inside of
(18:02):
you. So she said that's whatkept her around. Wow, So you
get out you kind of show thatthings are different. She let you back
into her life. You said,within three months, she's pregnant, So
what happens from there? So thenshe's like, oh my gosh, you
know, like because we could neverhave kids. That's a whole nother backstory.
(18:23):
Like I had a very casille Ihad surgery to where the doctor said
ninety nine percent chance you'll never havekids. That's a whole nother thing.
So when this happened, I actuallywent and got checked and the doctor said,
I don't know if it's a miracle, but you can have kids.
Man, I don't know what happened. So she was freaking out though,
and she started buying drug tests online, you know, and giving me drug
(18:44):
tests all the time. And Iwas on probation, so I was getting
drug tests by the po by her, and she couldn't believe it. But
I stayed sober, I kept goingto meetings, and it kept going good.
That's amazing. And I'm sure youcan't blame her for, you know,
wanting to test you. That isa lot for you. But did
you feel it was your duty andyou owed her that much? Yes,
And those were the types of thingsthat were blowing your mind because she'd be
(19:07):
like, all right, let's doa UA and then I'd just go,
okay, baby, yeah understand.You know I was being so understanding about
everything. Yeah, and then youobviously had a baby, and having a
baby is really difficult. That canthat can really challenge a relationship in general.
Yep, yep. So what wasthat like for you guys? Well,
(19:29):
see, and like I said,we had been together so long and
had a kid. We were justwe were just stoked over the moon,
like it was. It was allgood and all the little victories that were
leading up to that, like Ididn't mention, like I ended up going
getting a job, getting my license, you know, saving up money,
so like everything was progressing in agood way. So it was all good
good. I'm I love hearing that. And then, um, you how
(19:52):
you've since then? Where is yourrelationship now? Where is it? Lad?
You had a baby? When didyou have your first baby? What
year with that? We had ourfirst baby twenty fifteen, Like I said,
I got sober in twenty fourteen,and since then we've had four babies.
Wow, So yeah, you definitelycan have kids then and you just
had one pretty recently, right,Yeah, yep, he is twelve days
(20:15):
old. Wow, and um,you guys got married at some point.
Yes, tell me about that.When did you get married? When did
you propose? Tell me about it? Well, I proposed shortly after.
That was part of the smaller victories. I proposed with a ring, and
there's patrone on that too. Therewere several times that I did propose with
(20:37):
rings, but when I was badin my addiction, I would sell the
rings horribly enough. But this timeshe still has the ring and I proposed
and we just we just got married, like we did it as a silent
thing of ourselves, you know,yeah, no big thing. Yeah,
what do your families think? Imean, now it's been it's nine years,
(21:00):
I'm sure that they've all moved pastit. But I'm sure that wasn't
easy for either of your families throughoutthis whole process. No, yeah,
both of our families were definitely,like you know, on that same perspective.
But we both I won't say theirbusiness, but on both of our
sides though, we've had addiction andother things in that lifestyle, you know,
(21:21):
so a lot of it would bethere'd be judgments, but at the
same time, you know, everyonehas their own things, So I feel
like people still though when they dosay it, Man, you've came far.
I can't believe you. Guys,you know, because we've done a
lot. We're big into finances andwe've saved up and sold houses, and
we're just they yeah, it's shockingpretty much. Do you feel like you're
(21:42):
kind of an exception in this situation, Like with you having four kids,
I'm assuming you have at least onedaughter. I mean, I'm always curious
because I feel like you have abetter perception of the life of an addict.
But we've had people email like ourshow before and they start dating someone,
they have a lot of lat incommon, they really like them,
(22:03):
and then they do find out aboutthat past, and it's very scary because
they don't like Unlike your situation,they don't know the person before necessarily,
they don't have all this history,and it's enough to spook a lot of
people away. What would your advicebe to someone? I would say on
both sides of it, to someonewho is seeking help and wondering if they'll
(22:26):
ever get out of their addiction,and to someone who maybe is encountering someone
going through it and thinking do Idate someone like this. Ah, Yes,
I know what you're saying. Yeah, For people who are dating someone
in that cycle of addiction, it'sbest to not enable. Its best to
not you know, give money.It's best to like, if you're going
(22:47):
to be with that person, youlet them know that I'm going to be
with you, but just to bewith you and not to be you know,
enabling you to you know, getyour stuff or give you money.
Because once my family and my wifenow all that, once they all stopped,
it really opens that addict's mind.Yes, as someone maybe who is
(23:10):
in that place that you were,what advice would you have for someone that
thinks that they're never going to getout of this cycle because you did it
and you're still doing it. Iwould say that the illusion that drugs and
alcohol are the problem is actually notthe problem. The problem centers in the
mind, and the actual problem isinside of you not loving yourself, so
(23:33):
you don't even need it's not aboutthe drugs and alcohol. You need to
find peace, and in order tofind peace, doing drugs and alcohol is
not going to get you there.It's going to just keep causing turmoil in
your life. So if you justput the drugs and alcohol down and give
yourself a chance to love yourself.You can see that there's there's a chance.
Yeah, Seth, I know youyou really. I know this episode
(23:56):
is a little bit unique because it'snot like we have a given I feel
like a ton of detail into youractual relationship. But we've kind of talked
more about some of the difficult aspectsof the relationship. But I also know
that you do, like you havea YouTube and TikTok and things like this
where you maybe you talk about andkind of help motivate people. So I
want you to give a little shoutout to that stuff too if people want
(24:18):
to check you out. Oh that'sawesome. Yeah, it's Seth Leroy Adventures.
That's on YouTube, that's on TikTok, that's on you know everything from
you know, everything that we've done. We've done so many fun things,
and it's just it's about our life, our kids. I mean, we've
ran businesses, We've done a bunchof fun stuff. But now it's just
(24:41):
literally vlogging for motivation inspiration if peopleneed help. I help people with businesses
too, and I help people growtheir businesses. And it's just been it's
been a really fun journey. Okay, well, I appreciate you coming on
and sharing your story. I mean, it's I think it's different cult to
share such a vulnerable part of yourlife. So I appreciate you sharing that.
(25:03):
And congratulations again to you and Sarah, especially on your newest baby.
Thank you so much
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