February 16, 2025 • 32 mins
What if your greatest struggles were the foundation for your greatest impact?
In this powerful episode of Rise from the Ashes, we sit down with Richard Schreiber, a man whose life journey stretches from the gritty streets of 1980s New York—where addiction and the crack epidemic shaped the city’s pulse—to the forefront of artificial intelligence and ethical tech.
Richard opens up about his battle with addiction, the gripping reality of self-doubt, and the unrelenting pressure of balancing fatherhood—particularly raising a special needs child—while building a high-stakes career in IT. His story is one of raw transformation, fueled by resilience, faith, and an unwavering commitment to ethical AI’s role in autism care.
Inside This Episode:
🔹 The Dark Side of NYC in the ‘80s – Addiction, survival, and breaking free from destructive cycles
🔹 Beyond Sobriety – The deeper emotional work required for true healing
🔹 Imposter Syndrome in Tech – Overcoming self-doubt while navigating high-pressure environments
🔹 Faith & Meditation as Catalysts for Change – How spiritual practices became Richard’s anchor
🔹 AI & Autism Care – The groundbreaking intersection of technology and human empathy
From surviving the streets to leading innovation in artificial intelligence, Richard’s journey is proof that transformation is possible for anyone willing to embrace faith, purpose, and resilience.
🎧 Tune in now for a story of grit, recovery, and the future of AI-driven impact.
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Friends, as we wrap up today’s powerful conversation, hear me loud and clear: I’m grateful for you. You’ve chosen greatness over settling, clarity over chaos, and brilliance over burnout. Remember Great CEOs deserve NO burnout.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, whatever time
of day, it is, welcome toanother episode of Rising Ashes
podcast.
This is season five, and seasonfive is all about, from burnout
to brilliance, the roots ofburnout and betrayal in
leadership.
This is a vast subject becausepeople think burnout is just
(00:25):
fatigue.
Burnout is just a state.
It isn't, and there are manyforms of burnout Insomnia, there
is addiction and there is justtotal fatigue and collapse.
But they have many differentareas.
My next guest is an amazinghuman being.
(00:47):
He's very much heart-centered.
He's also a personal friend ofmine and I've known him for
nearly four years now.
Richard Schreiber is somebodywho has a heart of gold and I
invited him on the podcast toshare not just his wisdom but
his story of where he's comefrom through addiction, through
(01:10):
challenges and going through aperiod of his life where his
daughter had autism and thestruggles with that, and many
families often face thisdaunting time as well.
Richard, welcome to the showand how are you today?
Please tell the audience whatyou do and a bit about who you
(01:31):
are.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Sure.
First of all, thank you, baz,for having me.
Hello everyone, I'm doing great.
It's New Year's Eve about to be.
We're recording this, so 2025,I'm just so excited about and
really grateful to be here today.
What do I do, boy?
I have many differentidentities.
First of all, I am a Christianand a believer in Jesus Christ.
(01:57):
Secondly, I'm a father and ahusband.
I'm a father of a special needsdaughter which has created just
an amazing color and purpose inmy life.
I started as a journalist.
I still consider myself ajournalist.
That's how my mind operates.
I'm pretty good at interviewingand questioning and seeing both
sides of an issue, many sidesof an issue.
(02:18):
But I got into IT kind of earlyon in my career, even though my
background is more in liberalarts and journalism.
As I mentioned, worked on someof the biggest projects out
there with some of the mastersof the universe when I first got
started.
Created software platforms,custom platforms, for decades.
Also had some consulting careerin business process outsourcing
(02:43):
.
So I've got the operations sideof the brain too going on.
More recently, I have taken thebug, if you will, the AI bug, in
a big way, understanding andrecognizing that it is the
single biggest phase change inmy lifetime, even more so than
the internet or personalcomputing was and I'm just so
(03:05):
excited, in particular being anautism advocate, on what it
means for advances in autismcare and how AI, properly
deployed and I wrote abestselling book about this in a
very faith-based, in a veryhumanistic, compassionate and
ethical way, ai has a chance toreally change the world and
(03:29):
solve a lot of the world'sproblems, eliminate a lot of
diseases and provide advances inin medicine and medical
profession that are justtransformative yeah, I love what
you do and I know what you dovery well because I've been with
you and been friends for awhile now.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
When you were leaving and we'll back up to the
journalist part of it when youwere leaving and moving away
from the journalist and thatsort of theatre, what was the
transition like?
I believe it was about the 80s,wasn't it?
When you were coming back, whatwas the reason you actually
left?
Do you mind sharing?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah, I had a brief career in journalism but for
whatever reason, baz, I think atthat time in my life I
struggled with imposter syndromeand really reconciling if I was
good enough to be a journalistwhich is crazy, because I stuck
a microphone in Larry Bird'sface and in many professional
(04:34):
sports athletes while I was incollege and I was always a
really good interviewer becauseI was a great listener, very
learned, very well prepared butsomething happened, I'm not
quite sure why.
In any event, I don't like tolook back on life with regrets,
but, transitioning from that, Imoved to New York City with 40
bucks in my pocket, no place tolive, and it was a disruptive
(04:57):
time in my life.
I just gravitated towards atthat time what I needed to do
really to survive, towards atthat time what I needed to do
really to survive.
And God has gifted me with someskills and some abilities and I
guess I gravitated towards thatin operations and ultimately,
and I just made a career out ofit.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
What I love about you is your resilience, because the
transition for anything isquite hard Going from one thing
to another, because thetransition for anything is quite
hard Going from one thing toanother, there's all the
unknowns of it, and generalisticviews back then were very much
different than they are now.
There was a whole differenttheatre.
There was whole different ballgames.
The world was a lot different.
(05:39):
It was the 80s.
There were a lot of normalitieswhich was acceptable back then
the drugs, the sex, the rock androll, all the rest of that
stuff, which is a fantastic era.
If you grew up in that, becauseyou're not a snowflake in this
society now where you're justpampered, that's just my opinion
.
Right or wrong, it doesn'tmatter, but back then this was
(06:02):
acceptable.
Burnout there was often anormality.
For people like yourself whowere going through transitions.
The burnout factors came inmany different ways.
Addiction was one of them,because we masked things with
this.
Now I know, because I know youvery well.
You went through the drugaddictions.
(06:22):
How did that actually start foryou?
Well, you went through the drugaddictions.
How did that actually start foryou?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
if you don't mind sharing, yeah, that's definitely
an interesting point, certainlythe 1980s, at least the
beginning of the 1980s, in NewYork City where I grew up.
If you will, I graduatedcollege in 1980 and then moved
directly to New York City withinmonths of that.
It was a lovely time.
It was the height of the clubera in New York Danceteria Area,
(06:49):
red Parrot, all those funplaces, and even after hours
clubs.
New York was the place to befor the clubbing scene, at least
from my perspective.
And it was a fun time.
And you were young.
So, yeah, you would stay outtill two, three in the morning,
drink and smoke pot and get upat six to go to work, or at
least try to, and so the burnoutthere wasn't.
(07:11):
When you're young you don'teven think twice about burnout,
you just go full tail, fullwithout controls and you worry
about those other things later.
But it takes a toll and it hasa compounding effect and by the
end of that decade the lightthat the decade started in New
York turned into darknessbecause New York was overrun by
(07:31):
the crack epidemic by the latterpart of the decade and
unfortunately I got caught up inthat and as I think back as to
why that happened, certainly Iwas in proximity to it.
Think back as to why thathappened.
Certainly I was in proximity toit.
And what a lot of people failto realize is that at its height
, one in 10 people in New YorkCity were doing crack.
So it was in the boardrooms, itwas in the bedrooms, it was in
(07:54):
the bathrooms, you know, laterit became, unfortunately, a drug
that was primarily predicatedtowards lower income folks, but
in the beginning it was verywidespread.
For a couple of years and I gotcaught up in that and it
definitely anesthetized some ofthe pain.
(08:15):
But it also gave me this kindof exhilarating feeling that I
never felt before that I couldjust do whatever the F I wanted.
And of course, the high wasjust the first time you try that
substance.
It puts you in a stratosphereof euphoria that you just can't
even imagine.
And of course, each subsequenttime you do it diminishes and
(08:39):
that's why you keep doing itmore and more.
But yeah, it was a time in mylife where doing it more and
more.
But yeah, it was a time in mylife where, looking back, yeah,
I lost control and I'll neverforget.
There was one evening I think itwas in 1986 where it got to a
point where I looked up at thesky and said, god, this isn't
(08:59):
happening, this isn't right,this I'm not enjoying this.
Take me, god, I'm tired of thispain.
And I got through it.
I went away, visited a friendwhere I was drug free basically
for the week, and that helped alot, but it still took me a good
(09:21):
two to three years to get offthat merry-go-round.
I was able to find my way intoCocaine Anonymous and this was
at a very interesting time alsoNot interesting, in fact, very
dark time because the AIDSepidemic was running in parallel
to the crack epidemic and Ilost so many friends during that
(09:43):
period due to AIDS.
We're also intravenous drugusers and cocaine users.
It was the harshest time in mylife and, by the grace of God,
I'm just so grateful that I gotsober and now 29 years have been
(10:04):
changed.
But it changes your life againwhen you go through the darkness
and come out the other sideyour appreciation for life and
the positives in life.
I don't know how to ascertainthe chemical impact on my brain
and my body and my soul and mybeing, but I think yeah, you
(10:24):
mentioned the word resilience.
It wasn't my intention toreally test my resilience at
that age, but sure I certainlydid, and it's probably made me a
better man today.
I don't advocate, of course,anyone to go through something
like that.
If you can go through life drugand alcohol free, that's the
better route to go throughsomething like that.
(10:45):
If you can go through life drugand alcohol free, that's the
better route to go because youdon't need it.
It doesn't provide anythingpositive.
You don't need.
The experience and moments inmy life where I've chosen to be
drug and alcohol free were someof the most freeing, relaxing,
productive moments in my life,and I'm actually going through a
(11:08):
spell right now where I'vereturned to my roots, if you
will.
I was sober for eight yearswhere I didn't do so much as an
antihistamine in my body andthat allowed me to regenerate
and hit the reset button it'sinteresting.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You said that eight years, seven or eight years, you
didn't do anything.
People think that because theygo to rehab, or a group of
people, right or wrong, if theywork, great, if they don't, also
it's an experience.
But it doesn't stop there.
As you're you're going into now, which I think is very poignant
(11:47):
.
It's a poignant, pivotal pointin your life and so many other
people.
The journey doesn't stopbecause you go to rehab.
It's the start of a journey andthen it's re relearning how to
socialize and be another personor a different identity in
society.
That's, I think, the hard bit.
(12:08):
But you mentioned somethingearlier which is great the
emotional impact.
You said you felt numb.
You said you felt as if youwere, you didn't want to be here
, you didn't belong.
That's an emotional componentthat a lot of people who go
through addictions, includingmyself I'm for those people who
know me, I'm an ex drug addict,alcoholic been there, done that,
(12:31):
got the t-shirt and the rainbowand the whole went to the other
side of the moon.
But the emotional component hasa longer, longer lasting effect
.
Your body can heal but theemotion it's still there, the
memory muscle for that is stillthere.
I still.
I walk past bars now and I'msure you sometimes feel the same
.
Walk past bars and go oh, I'lljust.
(12:52):
No, I won't just pop in for one, because that one will turn
into 16 and I'll be on the barsjumping around like a lunatic
and the next time I'll be in ajail cell and I may not come out
.
So it's the discipline and theemotional discipline that you
gather while doing it.
Now, richard, you're a highperformer.
You work at some of the highestlevels and have done for many
(13:17):
years.
Ai space at the moment, thecomputer space, the IT
journalistic interviews theseare all high, demanding jobs and
roles.
What was the driving force foryou transitioning out of
journalism, going into IT andthen realizing what you had as
an IT consultant and probablyone of the most leading,
(13:41):
formidable, leading experts inAmerica, if not the world, doing
what you do?
What happened in that period ofyour life where you were like I
want to do this and what didthe transition afterwards like?
How did you level up aftergoing after addiction, after the
emotional component, recovery,because this is huge for you
(14:03):
yeah, into.
I'm now an it consultant, I'mgoing to be responsible,
whatever that means, and step upmy game.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I have to first of all acknowledge and thank God
because when I started my ITcareer, I actually transitioned
into my drinking and druggingperiod and still managed to not
only keep myself intact, butthere was a brief moment where I
came back down to earth.
I was managing a billion-dollarstartup with a partner and we
(14:37):
were doing well, but my drinkingand drugging took effect and we
actually lost a client or twobecause of that and he ended up
selling the company.
I was not an equity partner andmy former boss, if you will,
really did not go out of his wayto provide me an opportunity
(15:01):
with the new entity.
So I took a 50% pay cut, but itwasn't just the financial
impact which was unwelcome, butit wasn't just the financial
impact which was unwelcome.
It was very humbling and veryhumiliating, but it was exactly
what I needed at that time.
May I ask why, richard?
Again, I think it harkens backto when you are a drug addict,
(15:31):
and a lot of people certainlywho did crack or cocaine during
that period lost it all and Iwas blessed and there were a
couple of times I fell threemonths behind on my rent and my
boss wrote me a check so that Icould get even and I made sure
that didn't happen again.
I always had.
I guess one of my realstrengths is that, in spite of
everything I did, god has givenme, like this, internal governor
(15:54):
that allows me to get to theprecipice but not go over the
edge.
I never ended up on the street.
I never hurt anyone, I neverrobbed from anyone.
I never did anything other thanto myself.
I didn't kind of damage or harmduring that period of my life.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But that takes self-discipline.
And you're mentioning somethinghere which I love.
It's faith, it's grace, it'ssomething that's a driving force
within you and addicts lose it.
They lose that component a lot.
I was one of them.
So when I speak about you losefaith, you lose grace within
yourself and everything aroundyou.
(16:31):
I know because I lost it.
I was an asshole for a very longtime, but you didn't.
You kept it and you kept yourintegrity.
That takes so much couragewithin you.
And don't confuse courage withresilience, because they're
separate.
Yeah, courage is great.
(16:54):
Courage is knowing.
It's an inner compass, it'sthat moral, the moral, uh, part
of you that goes I'm not doingthe nasty shit that everybody
else does and that that to staythat course is honorable for
anybody, especially being anaddict for drugs and then
alcohol intertwined with it.
Burnout comes and yourexperience in this now, with
(17:19):
what you're describing, isyou've replaced something from
drugs cocaine, the white powder,snow, whatever you want to call
it into masking something elsewhich is a deeper-seated issue,
and the IT component, the guidedfaith or an encompass, pulled
(17:40):
you out of it, didn't it?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah, no, it really did.
Because, again, my careerstarted before the drinking and
drunken period.
Somehow I survived through itand again, by the grace of God,
I avoided falling off the cliffentirely.
And then, once I gatheredmyself, then I began arguably
(18:05):
one of the most productiveperiods of my life in total
sobriety.
One of the most productiveperiods of my life in total
sobriety.
And a lot of that was triggeredalso by around 1996, when the
company that I was working forand managed to work myself back
into a favorable position.
There.
I ended up training myreplacements, two young MBAs who
(18:27):
came in and I trained them andtaught them everything about the
business and whatnot.
And then in December of 1996, Iwas ushered out the door, but I
was okay, and that's when Istarted my consulting practice
and within weeks I had my firstconsulting assignment with
Morgan Stanley and that lastedinto the next, the following
(18:50):
year, and then did moreconsulting work and that that
was a really good transition forme, because it taught me how to
fend for myself.
It taught me how to hang my ownshingle, it taught me the value
of being responsible in everyaspect of your life.
At that point I was in arelationship too, and that
(19:12):
person had two daughters that Iadopted and helped as best I
could, and so it was a periodwhere a lot of positive things
were happening.
Again, I can only say, by thegrace of God, whatever inside me
(19:41):
caused me to step up to theplate and do what I needed to do
and fulfill as best I couldwhat I was doing just happened.
The burnout really came laterperiod, when I took a job
running development, softwaredevelopment, and I did a Y2K
project in 1999.
It was a legitimate Y2K projectbecause it was for Goldman
Sachs and it was a system thatwe knew wasn't going to work.
(20:03):
It was an old VAX system, theyear was two digits and it was
an incredibly successful project.
But burnout, oh my gosh.
I worked so many hours and thatwas the beginning of this
mindset that I ultimatelydeveloped.
The kind of take no prisonersproject manager is what I
(20:24):
morphed into, and I think a lotof it was because of that
project, because that projecthad you do a project that has
literally a hard deadline Y2Kproject.
You had a hard deadline.
If the thing didn't work onJanuary 1st, you're fucked and
everything we did.
You know all the long hours Ihad to learn.
(20:45):
I had to learn how GoldmanSachs did their entire
international accountingpractices and learn their
general ledger, their accountingsystems, because we had to
recreate accounting entries topost to their general ledger
from the software system we werebuilding.
So it was a in retrospect itwas a pretty extraordinary
(21:06):
period to have to get up tospeed on all that and it turned
out to be incredibly successful.
We went to UAT afterThanksgiving, went successfully
January 1st, the light bulbscame on and no issues, and later
we actually yeah, Afterwards,goldman Sachs honored us with a
(21:27):
dinner saying it was one of themost successful independent
third-party software developmentprojects they'd ever been part
of.
So it was a lot of pride wentinto that.
It wasn't just me, I was theproject leader, you know we had
software people and it was allhands-on and it was a great
thing and so much.
Five years later they invitedus back Goldman to recreate,
webplifyify the system fromclient server and yeah, I was
(21:51):
with that company for about 14years.
We later white labeled theproducts and moved it on to most
of the investment internationalbanking community in New York
and I was running thingsbasically.
So it was quite an interestingperiod.
But again, there were otherprojects that, and adopting that
mindset as I said, I've takenno prisoners caused a lot of
(22:13):
friction.
There was a lot of ego involvedand definitely some burnout
Working with a Chinesedevelopment team 12 hours ahead,
often up till two, three, fourin the morning, getting very
little sleep but getting theresults.
But it was taking a toll on meand in other ways physically,
(22:34):
emotionally, and I don't recallif there was so much of a crash,
but there were times when stuffdidn't work.
I'm not the kind of guy thatplays the blame game, but there
were a couple of instances wherethat happened and which I truly
regretted because I've alwaysbeen someone who feels
(22:55):
accountability stops with me youmentioned two things here and
this still sounds true for youtoday.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I know that.
I know you very, very well.
I like to think so faith andself-responsibility, or
self-accountability.
Yeah, for those peoplelistening to now and they're
thinking, burnout it somechristian guy.
Drugs, rock and roll, 80s itdoesn't matter what era you were
(23:26):
born in, these things stillexist today, but they exist in
different forms.
So if you're now going, oh myGod, it isn't me, please take
another look at what yoursurroundings are, who you're
associating with, because thefive people you associate with
(23:48):
is who you're becoming.
So if you're surrounded by drugaddicts or people you don't
really like, or just there forpassing the time, you're going
to become that.
Equally, if you're surroundedby focused people who are
becoming billionaires ormillionaires, or seven figures,
six figures they have drive,they have impact, they want to
(24:10):
change people's lives.
That's also what you'rebecoming.
That's just fact.
It's just how it works.
Get a pen and a paper and writedown the four or five things
that are driving you in yourlife right now, because in the
next six months what's going tohappen is they're going to
(24:31):
change and you're going tonotice patterns.
So, for the listeners, writethese five things down and
understand what you're addictedto now.
Have no shame in it, be honestand then re-evaluate it in six
months.
Burnout isn't just about yourphysical burnout, it's about
(24:52):
emotional.
It's about mental, spiritualand the physical.
Yeah, what richard's journey hasdone and the way he's told this
story.
He's come from a place of beingdropped into an ocean in
journalistic realms which washeavy in many opinionated ways.
(25:14):
In the same thing, he wasdropped into IT and he rose and
recalibrated, but, moreimportantly, he didn't ever give
up.
Anybody who is successful hasalways got a past.
Cody Sanchez, who is aworld-renowned businesswoman she
(25:38):
owns multiple companies.
She says this quote anybody whohas ever been successful has
never had an easy past, andthat's very true.
I want to end part one, richard, with a quote from you.
What's one of your favoritequotes that still sticks with
you today?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
That's a good point.
I would think I would draw onmy spiritual and God's message
to me, which is we are not alone.
He is there and the path thatwe choose, if we just trust and
have faith in him, then we willsucceed.
(26:21):
He will deliver for us and it'shis will, not our will.
I spent much of my lifeimposing my will, only to
realize the damage it caused andinevitably it wasn't my will,
because it was his will, andthat's what I would invite
people to perhaps pray andmeditate over.
(26:43):
Get out of yourself, get intoyour heart and realize that.
Get into your heart and realizethat it's really up to him and
god loves you and god definitelyloves me.
Man, I've been a sinner.
I hate you have no idea, and wehaven't even talked about some
of my other addictions and wewon't go there.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
but he knows what's in our hearts, he knows the
goodness that's in our core andif we just trust in ourselves to
access that through through theholy ghost, through him, then
we're going to be all right Ilove that, richard, thank you
very much until we meet again inpart two, where we go into
(27:24):
artificial intelligence, whichI'm very passionate about, and
so is richard, but we'll alsospeak about how he transition
from the the cyber side of itinto an updated version of it
into, I think, is people arecalling it now the sixth, or
fifth, or sixth revolution.
It's going to set up the restof the world for a very long
period of time for myself.
(27:46):
Thank you for listening, thankyou for being here.
Please share the message,subscribe and change somebody's
day, because this message fromrichard and it's not my message,
it's richard's is a testamentto someone's resilience, coming
from burnout into brilliance.
That was rise from ashes.
(28:06):
Part one with richard schreiber, and I'll see you very shortly
for part two.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, whatever time
of day, it is, welcome toanother episode of Rising Ashes
podcast.
This is season five, and seasonfive is all about, from burnout
to brilliance, the roots ofburnout and betrayal in
leadership.
This is a vast subject becausepeople think burnout is just
(00:25):
fatigue.
Burnout is just a state.
It isn't, and there are manyforms of burnout Insomnia, there
is addiction and there is justtotal fatigue and collapse.
But they have many differentareas.
My next guest is an amazinghuman being.
(00:47):
He's very much heart-centered.
He's also a personal friend ofmine and I've known him for
nearly four years now.
Richard Schreiber is somebodywho has a heart of gold and I
invited him on the podcast toshare not just his wisdom but
his story of where he's comefrom through addiction, through
(01:10):
challenges and going through aperiod of his life where his
daughter had autism and thestruggles with that, and many
families often face thisdaunting time as well.
Richard, welcome to the showand how are you today?
Please tell the audience whatyou do and a bit about who you
(01:31):
are.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Sure.
First of all, thank you, baz,for having me.
Hello everyone, I'm doing great.
It's New Year's Eve about to be.
We're recording this, so 2025,I'm just so excited about and
really grateful to be here today.
What do I do, boy?
I have many differentidentities.
First of all, I am a Christianand a believer in Jesus Christ.
(01:57):
Secondly, I'm a father and ahusband.
I'm a father of a special needsdaughter which has created just
an amazing color and purpose inmy life.
I started as a journalist.
I still consider myself ajournalist.
That's how my mind operates.
I'm pretty good at interviewingand questioning and seeing both
sides of an issue, many sidesof an issue.
(02:18):
But I got into IT kind of earlyon in my career, even though my
background is more in liberalarts and journalism.
As I mentioned, worked on someof the biggest projects out
there with some of the mastersof the universe when I first got
started.
Created software platforms,custom platforms, for decades.
Also had some consulting careerin business process outsourcing
(02:43):
.
So I've got the operations sideof the brain too going on.
More recently, I have taken thebug, if you will, the AI bug, in
a big way, understanding andrecognizing that it is the
single biggest phase change inmy lifetime, even more so than
the internet or personalcomputing was and I'm just so
(03:05):
excited, in particular being anautism advocate, on what it
means for advances in autismcare and how AI, properly
deployed and I wrote abestselling book about this in a
very faith-based, in a veryhumanistic, compassionate and
ethical way, ai has a chance toreally change the world and
(03:29):
solve a lot of the world'sproblems, eliminate a lot of
diseases and provide advances inin medicine and medical
profession that are justtransformative yeah, I love what
you do and I know what you dovery well because I've been with
you and been friends for awhile now.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
When you were leaving and we'll back up to the
journalist part of it when youwere leaving and moving away
from the journalist and thatsort of theatre, what was the
transition like?
I believe it was about the 80s,wasn't it?
When you were coming back, whatwas the reason you actually
left?
Do you mind sharing?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah, I had a brief career in journalism but for
whatever reason, baz, I think atthat time in my life I
struggled with imposter syndromeand really reconciling if I was
good enough to be a journalistwhich is crazy, because I stuck
a microphone in Larry Bird'sface and in many professional
(04:34):
sports athletes while I was incollege and I was always a
really good interviewer becauseI was a great listener, very
learned, very well prepared butsomething happened, I'm not
quite sure why.
In any event, I don't like tolook back on life with regrets,
but, transitioning from that, Imoved to New York City with 40
bucks in my pocket, no place tolive, and it was a disruptive
(04:57):
time in my life.
I just gravitated towards atthat time what I needed to do
really to survive, towards atthat time what I needed to do
really to survive.
And God has gifted me with someskills and some abilities and I
guess I gravitated towards thatin operations and ultimately,
and I just made a career out ofit.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
What I love about you is your resilience, because the
transition for anything isquite hard Going from one thing
to another, because thetransition for anything is quite
hard Going from one thing toanother, there's all the
unknowns of it, and generalisticviews back then were very much
different than they are now.
There was a whole differenttheatre.
There was whole different ballgames.
The world was a lot different.
(05:39):
It was the 80s.
There were a lot of normalitieswhich was acceptable back then
the drugs, the sex, the rock androll, all the rest of that
stuff, which is a fantastic era.
If you grew up in that, becauseyou're not a snowflake in this
society now where you're justpampered, that's just my opinion
.
Right or wrong, it doesn'tmatter, but back then this was
(06:02):
acceptable.
Burnout there was often anormality.
For people like yourself whowere going through transitions.
The burnout factors came inmany different ways.
Addiction was one of them,because we masked things with
this.
Now I know, because I know youvery well.
You went through the drugaddictions.
(06:22):
How did that actually start foryou?
Well, you went through the drugaddictions.
How did that actually start foryou?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
if you don't mind sharing, yeah, that's definitely
an interesting point, certainlythe 1980s, at least the
beginning of the 1980s, in NewYork City where I grew up.
If you will, I graduatedcollege in 1980 and then moved
directly to New York City withinmonths of that.
It was a lovely time.
It was the height of the clubera in New York Danceteria Area,
(06:49):
red Parrot, all those funplaces, and even after hours
clubs.
New York was the place to befor the clubbing scene, at least
from my perspective.
And it was a fun time.
And you were young.
So, yeah, you would stay outtill two, three in the morning,
drink and smoke pot and get upat six to go to work, or at
least try to, and so the burnoutthere wasn't.
(07:11):
When you're young you don'teven think twice about burnout,
you just go full tail, fullwithout controls and you worry
about those other things later.
But it takes a toll and it hasa compounding effect and by the
end of that decade the lightthat the decade started in New
York turned into darknessbecause New York was overrun by
(07:31):
the crack epidemic by the latterpart of the decade and
unfortunately I got caught up inthat and as I think back as to
why that happened, certainly Iwas in proximity to it.
Think back as to why thathappened.
Certainly I was in proximity toit.
And what a lot of people failto realize is that at its height
, one in 10 people in New YorkCity were doing crack.
So it was in the boardrooms, itwas in the bedrooms, it was in
(07:54):
the bathrooms, you know, laterit became, unfortunately, a drug
that was primarily predicatedtowards lower income folks, but
in the beginning it was verywidespread.
For a couple of years and I gotcaught up in that and it
definitely anesthetized some ofthe pain.
(08:15):
But it also gave me this kindof exhilarating feeling that I
never felt before that I couldjust do whatever the F I wanted.
And of course, the high wasjust the first time you try that
substance.
It puts you in a stratosphereof euphoria that you just can't
even imagine.
And of course, each subsequenttime you do it diminishes and
(08:39):
that's why you keep doing itmore and more.
But yeah, it was a time in mylife where doing it more and
more.
But yeah, it was a time in mylife where, looking back, yeah,
I lost control and I'll neverforget.
There was one evening I think itwas in 1986 where it got to a
point where I looked up at thesky and said, god, this isn't
(08:59):
happening, this isn't right,this I'm not enjoying this.
Take me, god, I'm tired of thispain.
And I got through it.
I went away, visited a friendwhere I was drug free basically
for the week, and that helped alot, but it still took me a good
(09:21):
two to three years to get offthat merry-go-round.
I was able to find my way intoCocaine Anonymous and this was
at a very interesting time alsoNot interesting, in fact, very
dark time because the AIDSepidemic was running in parallel
to the crack epidemic and Ilost so many friends during that
(09:43):
period due to AIDS.
We're also intravenous drugusers and cocaine users.
It was the harshest time in mylife and, by the grace of God,
I'm just so grateful that I gotsober and now 29 years have been
(10:04):
changed.
But it changes your life againwhen you go through the darkness
and come out the other sideyour appreciation for life and
the positives in life.
I don't know how to ascertainthe chemical impact on my brain
and my body and my soul and mybeing, but I think yeah, you
(10:24):
mentioned the word resilience.
It wasn't my intention toreally test my resilience at
that age, but sure I certainlydid, and it's probably made me a
better man today.
I don't advocate, of course,anyone to go through something
like that.
If you can go through life drugand alcohol free, that's the
better route to go throughsomething like that.
(10:45):
If you can go through life drugand alcohol free, that's the
better route to go because youdon't need it.
It doesn't provide anythingpositive.
You don't need.
The experience and moments inmy life where I've chosen to be
drug and alcohol free were someof the most freeing, relaxing,
productive moments in my life,and I'm actually going through a
(11:08):
spell right now where I'vereturned to my roots, if you
will.
I was sober for eight yearswhere I didn't do so much as an
antihistamine in my body andthat allowed me to regenerate
and hit the reset button it'sinteresting.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You said that eight years, seven or eight years, you
didn't do anything.
People think that because theygo to rehab, or a group of
people, right or wrong, if theywork, great, if they don't, also
it's an experience.
But it doesn't stop there.
As you're you're going into now, which I think is very poignant
(11:47):
.
It's a poignant, pivotal pointin your life and so many other
people.
The journey doesn't stopbecause you go to rehab.
It's the start of a journey andthen it's re relearning how to
socialize and be another personor a different identity in
society.
That's, I think, the hard bit.
(12:08):
But you mentioned somethingearlier which is great the
emotional impact.
You said you felt numb.
You said you felt as if youwere, you didn't want to be here
, you didn't belong.
That's an emotional componentthat a lot of people who go
through addictions, includingmyself I'm for those people who
know me, I'm an ex drug addict,alcoholic been there, done that,
(12:31):
got the t-shirt and the rainbowand the whole went to the other
side of the moon.
But the emotional component hasa longer, longer lasting effect
.
Your body can heal but theemotion it's still there, the
memory muscle for that is stillthere.
I still.
I walk past bars now and I'msure you sometimes feel the same
.
Walk past bars and go oh, I'lljust.
(12:52):
No, I won't just pop in for one, because that one will turn
into 16 and I'll be on the barsjumping around like a lunatic
and the next time I'll be in ajail cell and I may not come out
.
So it's the discipline and theemotional discipline that you
gather while doing it.
Now, richard, you're a highperformer.
You work at some of the highestlevels and have done for many
(13:17):
years.
Ai space at the moment, thecomputer space, the IT
journalistic interviews theseare all high, demanding jobs and
roles.
What was the driving force foryou transitioning out of
journalism, going into IT andthen realizing what you had as
an IT consultant and probablyone of the most leading,
(13:41):
formidable, leading experts inAmerica, if not the world, doing
what you do?
What happened in that period ofyour life where you were like I
want to do this and what didthe transition afterwards like?
How did you level up aftergoing after addiction, after the
emotional component, recovery,because this is huge for you
(14:03):
yeah, into.
I'm now an it consultant, I'mgoing to be responsible,
whatever that means, and step upmy game.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I have to first of all acknowledge and thank God
because when I started my ITcareer, I actually transitioned
into my drinking and druggingperiod and still managed to not
only keep myself intact, butthere was a brief moment where I
came back down to earth.
I was managing a billion-dollarstartup with a partner and we
(14:37):
were doing well, but my drinkingand drugging took effect and we
actually lost a client or twobecause of that and he ended up
selling the company.
I was not an equity partner andmy former boss, if you will,
really did not go out of his wayto provide me an opportunity
(15:01):
with the new entity.
So I took a 50% pay cut, but itwasn't just the financial
impact which was unwelcome, butit wasn't just the financial
impact which was unwelcome.
It was very humbling and veryhumiliating, but it was exactly
what I needed at that time.
May I ask why, richard?
Again, I think it harkens backto when you are a drug addict,
(15:31):
and a lot of people certainlywho did crack or cocaine during
that period lost it all and Iwas blessed and there were a
couple of times I fell threemonths behind on my rent and my
boss wrote me a check so that Icould get even and I made sure
that didn't happen again.
I always had.
I guess one of my realstrengths is that, in spite of
everything I did, god has givenme, like this, internal governor
(15:54):
that allows me to get to theprecipice but not go over the
edge.
I never ended up on the street.
I never hurt anyone, I neverrobbed from anyone.
I never did anything other thanto myself.
I didn't kind of damage or harmduring that period of my life.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But that takes self-discipline.
And you're mentioning somethinghere which I love.
It's faith, it's grace, it'ssomething that's a driving force
within you and addicts lose it.
They lose that component a lot.
I was one of them.
So when I speak about you losefaith, you lose grace within
yourself and everything aroundyou.
(16:31):
I know because I lost it.
I was an asshole for a very longtime, but you didn't.
You kept it and you kept yourintegrity.
That takes so much couragewithin you.
And don't confuse courage withresilience, because they're
separate.
Yeah, courage is great.
(16:54):
Courage is knowing.
It's an inner compass, it'sthat moral, the moral, uh, part
of you that goes I'm not doingthe nasty shit that everybody
else does and that that to staythat course is honorable for
anybody, especially being anaddict for drugs and then
alcohol intertwined with it.
Burnout comes and yourexperience in this now, with
(17:19):
what you're describing, isyou've replaced something from
drugs cocaine, the white powder,snow, whatever you want to call
it into masking something elsewhich is a deeper-seated issue,
and the IT component, the guidedfaith or an encompass, pulled
(17:40):
you out of it, didn't it?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah, no, it really did.
Because, again, my careerstarted before the drinking and
drunken period.
Somehow I survived through itand again, by the grace of God,
I avoided falling off the cliffentirely.
And then, once I gatheredmyself, then I began arguably
(18:05):
one of the most productiveperiods of my life in total
sobriety.
One of the most productiveperiods of my life in total
sobriety.
And a lot of that was triggeredalso by around 1996, when the
company that I was working forand managed to work myself back
into a favorable position.
There.
I ended up training myreplacements, two young MBAs who
(18:27):
came in and I trained them andtaught them everything about the
business and whatnot.
And then in December of 1996, Iwas ushered out the door, but I
was okay, and that's when Istarted my consulting practice
and within weeks I had my firstconsulting assignment with
Morgan Stanley and that lastedinto the next, the following
(18:50):
year, and then did moreconsulting work and that that
was a really good transition forme, because it taught me how to
fend for myself.
It taught me how to hang my ownshingle, it taught me the value
of being responsible in everyaspect of your life.
At that point I was in arelationship too, and that
(19:12):
person had two daughters that Iadopted and helped as best I
could, and so it was a periodwhere a lot of positive things
were happening.
Again, I can only say, by thegrace of God, whatever inside me
(19:41):
caused me to step up to theplate and do what I needed to do
and fulfill as best I couldwhat I was doing just happened.
The burnout really came laterperiod, when I took a job
running development, softwaredevelopment, and I did a Y2K
project in 1999.
It was a legitimate Y2K projectbecause it was for Goldman
Sachs and it was a system thatwe knew wasn't going to work.
(20:03):
It was an old VAX system, theyear was two digits and it was
an incredibly successful project.
But burnout, oh my gosh.
I worked so many hours and thatwas the beginning of this
mindset that I ultimatelydeveloped.
The kind of take no prisonersproject manager is what I
(20:24):
morphed into, and I think a lotof it was because of that
project, because that projecthad you do a project that has
literally a hard deadline Y2Kproject.
You had a hard deadline.
If the thing didn't work onJanuary 1st, you're fucked and
everything we did.
You know all the long hours Ihad to learn.
(20:45):
I had to learn how GoldmanSachs did their entire
international accountingpractices and learn their
general ledger, their accountingsystems, because we had to
recreate accounting entries topost to their general ledger
from the software system we werebuilding.
So it was a in retrospect itwas a pretty extraordinary
(21:06):
period to have to get up tospeed on all that and it turned
out to be incredibly successful.
We went to UAT afterThanksgiving, went successfully
January 1st, the light bulbscame on and no issues, and later
we actually yeah, Afterwards,goldman Sachs honored us with a
(21:27):
dinner saying it was one of themost successful independent
third-party software developmentprojects they'd ever been part
of.
So it was a lot of pride wentinto that.
It wasn't just me, I was theproject leader, you know we had
software people and it was allhands-on and it was a great
thing and so much.
Five years later they invitedus back Goldman to recreate,
webplifyify the system fromclient server and yeah, I was
(21:51):
with that company for about 14years.
We later white labeled theproducts and moved it on to most
of the investment internationalbanking community in New York
and I was running thingsbasically.
So it was quite an interestingperiod.
But again, there were otherprojects that, and adopting that
mindset as I said, I've takenno prisoners caused a lot of
(22:13):
friction.
There was a lot of ego involvedand definitely some burnout
Working with a Chinesedevelopment team 12 hours ahead,
often up till two, three, fourin the morning, getting very
little sleep but getting theresults.
But it was taking a toll on meand in other ways physically,
(22:34):
emotionally, and I don't recallif there was so much of a crash,
but there were times when stuffdidn't work.
I'm not the kind of guy thatplays the blame game, but there
were a couple of instances wherethat happened and which I truly
regretted because I've alwaysbeen someone who feels
(22:55):
accountability stops with me youmentioned two things here and
this still sounds true for youtoday.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I know that.
I know you very, very well.
I like to think so faith andself-responsibility, or
self-accountability.
Yeah, for those peoplelistening to now and they're
thinking, burnout it somechristian guy.
Drugs, rock and roll, 80s itdoesn't matter what era you were
(23:26):
born in, these things stillexist today, but they exist in
different forms.
So if you're now going, oh myGod, it isn't me, please take
another look at what yoursurroundings are, who you're
associating with, because thefive people you associate with
(23:48):
is who you're becoming.
So if you're surrounded by drugaddicts or people you don't
really like, or just there forpassing the time, you're going
to become that.
Equally, if you're surroundedby focused people who are
becoming billionaires ormillionaires, or seven figures,
six figures they have drive,they have impact, they want to
(24:10):
change people's lives.
That's also what you'rebecoming.
That's just fact.
It's just how it works.
Get a pen and a paper and writedown the four or five things
that are driving you in yourlife right now, because in the
next six months what's going tohappen is they're going to
(24:31):
change and you're going tonotice patterns.
So, for the listeners, writethese five things down and
understand what you're addictedto now.
Have no shame in it, be honestand then re-evaluate it in six
months.
Burnout isn't just about yourphysical burnout, it's about
(24:52):
emotional.
It's about mental, spiritualand the physical.
Yeah, what richard's journey hasdone and the way he's told this
story.
He's come from a place of beingdropped into an ocean in
journalistic realms which washeavy in many opinionated ways.
(25:14):
In the same thing, he wasdropped into IT and he rose and
recalibrated, but, moreimportantly, he didn't ever give
up.
Anybody who is successful hasalways got a past.
Cody Sanchez, who is aworld-renowned businesswoman she
(25:38):
owns multiple companies.
She says this quote anybody whohas ever been successful has
never had an easy past, andthat's very true.
I want to end part one, richard, with a quote from you.
What's one of your favoritequotes that still sticks with
you today?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
That's a good point.
I would think I would draw onmy spiritual and God's message
to me, which is we are not alone.
He is there and the path thatwe choose, if we just trust and
have faith in him, then we willsucceed.
(26:21):
He will deliver for us and it'shis will, not our will.
I spent much of my lifeimposing my will, only to
realize the damage it caused andinevitably it wasn't my will,
because it was his will, andthat's what I would invite
people to perhaps pray andmeditate over.
(26:43):
Get out of yourself, get intoyour heart and realize that.
Get into your heart and realizethat it's really up to him and
god loves you and god definitelyloves me.
Man, I've been a sinner.
I hate you have no idea, and wehaven't even talked about some
of my other addictions and wewon't go there.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
but he knows what's in our hearts, he knows the
goodness that's in our core andif we just trust in ourselves to
access that through through theholy ghost, through him, then
we're going to be all right Ilove that, richard, thank you
very much until we meet again inpart two, where we go into
(27:24):
artificial intelligence, whichI'm very passionate about, and
so is richard, but we'll alsospeak about how he transition
from the the cyber side of itinto an updated version of it
into, I think, is people arecalling it now the sixth, or
fifth, or sixth revolution.
It's going to set up the restof the world for a very long
period of time for myself.
(27:46):
Thank you for listening, thankyou for being here.
Please share the message,subscribe and change somebody's
day, because this message fromrichard and it's not my message,
it's richard's is a testamentto someone's resilience, coming
from burnout into brilliance.
That was rise from ashes.
(28:06):
Part one with richard schreiber, and I'll see you very shortly
for part two.
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