August 24, 2025 • 22 mins
What happens when you're facing the impossible and there's literally no one coming to save you? Garcia was 8 months pregnant, 1,000 miles from home, with an 8-year-old daughter by her side. No family. No friends. No support system.
Then came the double attempted homicide that changed everything.
Choked and beaten while 8 months pregnant, Garcia escaped with her daughter to a neighbor's house at 11:30 PM, barefoot in pajamas. The police gave her a piece of paper with 1-800 numbers and said "do your thing."
She had exactly 45 days until her due date to figure out how to save two lives - her unborn baby and her 8-year-old daughter. The crushing reality? She was completely on her own.
900 phone calls later, Garcia discovered the brutal truth about crisis: when you need help the most, the system fails you. But she also discovered something else - sometimes being the only one who can save everything becomes your greatest source of power.
Discover how a woman with no resources, no support, and no time became her own savior - and why your isolation in crisis might be preparing you for your greatest breakthrough.
If You’ve Been Hooked on These Episodes… This Is for You
If this podcast has been landing deep… if each story feels like it’s peeling back something raw and real in you… then don’t ignore that.
Every guest you’ve heard made the same decision: to stop performing and start healing.
Now it’s your turn.
Take the Silent Collapse Diagnostic. It’s not a quiz. It’s a wake-up tool for women who are done pretending they’re fine.
No fluff. No journaling prompts. Just a straight-up mirror into where you’re silently collapsing behind the mask of success.
If you're serious about reclaiming your energy, your clarity, your life start there.
Because breakthrough doesn’t begin with doing more. It begins with finally seeing what’s been stealing your power.
Learn more about Baz Porter at www.bazporter.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode
of Rise from the Ashes.
I am absolutely honored andexcited to be in front of Garcia
today.
Now, those people who watchthis enough.
Forget me with names, secondnames.
I am terrible, garcia.
How are you Please introduceyourself and tell people who you
are and what you do?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I am great.
Thank you for having me here.
I go by A Garcia, but thosethat know me, agape is the name
and I am the founder ofConfronting Domestic Violence, a
501c3.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So where are you located?
And tell me a bit about the501c3 process, because it's not
as straightforward as peopleusually think, is it?
It's not as straightforward aspeople usually think.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Is it, oh, the process?
No, not at all.
Not at all.
The process can be very lengthy.
It depends which route you wantto take the short form or the
long form.
I always suggest do what'shardest first and get it out of
the way, so you're not having toget what you swept under the
carpet later on.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Now domestic violence is very close to your heart and
your mission, for not justyourself, but for many thousands
and possibly millions.
I don't know the numbers offthe top of my head, and these
are real numbers.
Why are you so focused onproviding support, guidance and
(01:26):
elevation for this mission ofyours?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Absolutely.
20 years ago, I survived adouble attempted homicide.
I was eight months pregnant, Iwas over a thousand miles away
from home and I had aneight-year-old daughter present
at the time.
So I was in a brand new spaceand I had no friends, no family
and I knew nothing and hadnowhere to go.
So today, that's whyconfronting domestic violence is
(01:53):
in existence, because of whatI've went through my personal
experience there is such a thingas post-traumatic growth, and I
have gone through that journey,and our mission at Confronting
Domestic Violence is to providereal-time resources to real-time
victims and help familiesrelocate when they have a safe
(02:13):
place to go and not the means toget there.
So I'm bridging those gaps.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I love that.
Can we go back for a moment toa time after that incident?
What was the follow-up?
Was there any help for you, wasthere any resources back then,
or were you just completely?
Did you feel just alone?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
All of the above.
So, of course, I felt alone,because that was reality.
I was alone and resources beingin a brand new state.
I didn't understand or know thelaws.
I had to do a lot of researchto learn them.
I didn't get much sleep,obviously, after that because I
was so extremely worried.
I couldn't believe that I hadjust moved and this was my new
(02:54):
life to figure out.
And as many places as I went Ican start with the arrest right,
the police.
They give you 1-800 numbers tocall.
They give you a piece of paperand say, okay, do your thing.
And so I did exactly that.
I started with those 1-800numbers.
I stood in line for food stamps, I stood in line for help, I
(03:16):
stood in line for anything thatI could receive as a victim,
with nothing.
And let me tell you that Iprobably made over 900 phone
calls before I found somebodywho actually was able to assist
me.
And I can share with you thatif I didn't have the tenacity to
(03:38):
fight and advocate for myself,I probably would not have, I
probably would not be here todayand I would not have been able
to make it this far either.
So that's one thing that Ireally hone in on is if you
don't know who you are in amoment of devastation, that's
totally normal.
Know who you're not and startthere.
(03:59):
I love that advice.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I love that advice and thank you truly.
Thank you not just from me, butfrom the thousands of people
who have at some level beenaffected by domestic violence.
It's a campaign that is notjust close to your heart.
It's what you've decided toonboard and envision.
But one of the things I loveabout you is it's not for
(04:21):
yourself, it's to create freedomfor others.
About you is it's not foryourself, it's to create freedom
for others, and you've turnedtrauma into a growth spurt, but
it became more about a lifestylealready, didn't it?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I feel like this is my life mission, my
purpose.
I didn't go through all of thisfor nothing and I don't think
anybody deserves to go throughit.
And unfortunately, you know thenumbers that you, as you talked
about before.
You know, according to theDepartment of Justice, one out
of three women and one out offour men either have experienced
or will experience a form ofdomestic violence in their
(04:57):
lifetime.
And, with that being said, Iknow all too well what it's like
to be completely devastated.
And the unfortunate part isthat you're not looking for
these resources until you needthem.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, where did you first find out that after the
hundred I'm trying to comprehendthe hundred phone calls, 900
phone calls sorry, not a hundredphone calls Most people get
bored about 15 and say, oh,nevermind.
Most people get bored about 15and say, oh, never mind.
But the persistence, the 900,that's pretty.
The KFC the Colonel went around124 banks before he got a yes.
(05:37):
You went to 900 phone callsbefore you got a yes.
In some direction, that'scommitment for you.
What was the driving forcebehind it?
You said you had a child,eight-year-old child.
Was that a part of it or was itsomething much deeper?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
All the above right.
So I had my eight-year-oldchild and I had a brand new baby
right.
Wow, because I was eight monthspregnant.
I was 45 days from the date ofthe incident to my due date, so
I have 45 days to figure out.
What was I going to do?
Of course, I did not figure itout in 45 days.
(06:09):
That's where I started justsaying to myself I need to
advocate for myself and talk tothe leasing office.
How am I going to get myselfoff of this lease without my
credit being dinged, withouthaving this on my background, so
I can then go and findsomething else?
It was.
It's just a slew of things, butthe thing is that when you're
in a place of sink or swim,you're going to make that choice
(06:32):
, and that's where I was at.
So I had no choice but to makethese calls because I did not
have family, I did not havefriends, I did not know the area
.
I was only able to tap into theresources in my area.
Otherwise, I didn't know what Iwas going to do.
I didn't know where else to go.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Perhaps for you from a male point of view.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I can't even fathom what that was like going through
not just the physical journeybut the emotional journey and
the mental journey, theuncertainty and the hormones
pregnancy brings.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
On top of all that, again, I can't even speak into
it.
I have no clue.
I know I've got a lot of womenlisteners.
Could you share that experience?
It just helps them get a graspof what that journey was
actually like for a pregnantwoman, or post-pregnancy and
pre-pregnancy and in semester.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Absolutely 100%.
I can tell you hands down.
I feel it right now like it wasyesterday and I'm a mama bear.
I am going to protect mychildren.
I don't care who you are, whereyou're coming from, it's all
about the kids, especially inthat, under those circumstances,
right?
So, as I understood that I'mtheir sole provider, I'm the
(07:51):
only one that's here to protectthem.
I'm the only one here that's toprovide for them.
I have to figure it out.
This is on me to do, and thatwas my driving force.
If I got a few hours of sleep, Iwas great, because my
adrenaline was flowing so hardand I could feel it through my
veins.
I was just so committed onfinding a way out and getting
(08:14):
see.
I'm getting choked up andgetting what I needed because it
was about my kids.
I put them above me.
They need to eat before I needto eat.
They have to have a goodnight's sleep before I do.
They need to feel safe at homemore than I do.
And let me tell you, duringthat 45 days, while I was trying
to rush this birth, I'mliterally carrying my
(08:34):
eight-year-old, trying to makemy water break.
Of course, that did not happen,but I just wanted to have my
child out of me faster, so myunborn child didn't have to feel
all of what I was suffering andgoing through.
And, like I said, it didn'thappen.
However, I had an escape planfor my daughter.
(08:56):
I had the couch in front of thefront door.
I had things like Jimmy riggedall across the apartment so that
God forbid if he got out and hecame to the door.
I always had that in my mind,but there was that again, that
tenacity and persistence ofwhat's the status today?
(09:16):
Is he still behind bars?
Are you holding him?
What's going on?
What's happening?
As long as I knew that he wasstill apprehended, then that
gave me another day ofresearching and figuring out
what I needed to do.
Hands down.
By far.
The kids were my priority, mystrength, my purpose, my drive,
everything my purpose my driveeverything.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Thank you for sharing that.
I can not just put the audience, who can physically see this
video on YouTube or whateverplatform you're listening on,
rumble or listening.
Go and have a listen again andhear the compassion in Garcia's
voice and what she's saying.
You can hear the journey.
This is truly not about anotherinterview.
(10:03):
This is about her reliving ajourney that she went through,
but she lives every day insomeone else's vision.
Another person approaches herand says I've had a similar
experience.
This is what Garcia does.
She lives and breathes it, andit's not for herself.
(10:23):
That's her mission.
That's a part of who she is,but it's for people like you
listening to this and if you'vehad an experience of this, pick
up the phone, tell somebody.
Pick up the phone to Garcia orgive her an email.
I can't give you the personaldetails on here, obviously, but
pick up the phone, tell someoneabout what's going on.
(10:46):
Don't hide from it.
That's right, because thelonger you hide and Garcia can
verify this the more it willcontinue, and the more it
continues in your life, the moreyou accept and devalue who you
truly are.
Please, for your future's sake,for your children's sake, don't
(11:06):
do that.
This is my battle cry to allthem people out there, male and
female, while going throughsomething right now, because
it's a predominantly femalechallenge.
People go through and it's morecommercialized in the female
world.
It doesn't mean men don't gothrough it, because I'm sure
they do.
I don't know the numbers,probably Garcia does.
(11:27):
She knows a lot more about thisthan I would ever do.
So you've gone through thatjourney.
Thank you truly for sharingthat.
It puts things not just formyself but for the audience and
you're listening into contextand you've gone through the
journey and you found, after 900phone calls which just blows my
(11:48):
mind, what next?
What?
Obviously it wasn't smooth,like just suddenly did it all
stopped?
What was the procedure for younext?
Was there help given straightaway?
Were there other barriers andchallenges?
Because it was a longer journeyit was absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
My whole thing was okay.
I need to find a job right,because I wasn't going to get
hired at eight months pregnant.
So the unfortunate part wasthat it robbed me of bonding
with my newborn child, becausemy needs were to have money to
(12:26):
pay for rent and find a place tomove into that was safe,
without a couch in front of thedoor or without ropes hanging
from windows.
Okay, and so I had to basicallylet go of almost everything.
Anything I couldn't carry on myback that had to be left behind
.
Anything I couldn't sell or getrid of had to be left behind.
(12:50):
Anything that I had planned asit relates to I was in school,
but I had to leave that as well.
I had a vision of a career path.
I had to leave that as well,because it just boiled down to
what are my immediate needs,what is going to pay the bills
and put food on the table,because that's what I'm going to
take, because that's what Ineed.
(13:10):
And that's how it started and,thank goodness, I was able to
get a job at probably my childwas maybe two months.
The moment that daycare canaccept the kids is when he was
there and that allowed me tohave an office with a phone and
I was able to blast through awhole lot more phone calls than
(13:34):
I was at home dealing with thekids and I will I'll be honest
here and say that it wasn'tuntil I found an advocate.
A lot of the 1-800 numbers thatI called only gave me another
1-800 number and another one,and so many were disconnected
and so many just gave me otherones.
And it just wasn't until Ireally connected with an
advocate.
And I am so big on advocatingfor survivors and victims to get
(13:56):
and find an advocate, and I amso big on advocating for
survivors and victims to get andfind an advocate.
Go to your attorney general,find out who's on the roster as
advocates.
Figure out who and what isavailable.
Whoever you're talking to findout.
Today I now know where I cansend people to get this
information.
Back then I did not, and so thatadvocate.
(14:18):
The reason why I'm so big onthe advocate is because that's
their life too.
They're already informed of thedifferent programs that your
state has, the differentopportunities that are available
for victims.
Also your rights as a victim.
There are so many things that Inever knew that this advocate
was able to share with me.
(14:39):
And then it was up to me to goand take I don't want to say
take advantage of it, but reapthe benefits from it Right.
For example I'll give a fewexamples I was able to take the
father's name off the birthcertificate, so there's no
rights at all.
You know what?
That eliminated Everything Ineeded to do in court.
(15:00):
There was no court becausethere was no name.
So I was so elated that I wasable to do that.
Another thing is there's a lotof states that offer, through
legislation, confidentialaddress program.
So if you have a restrainingorder, if you have some sort of
report, police report, to showthat your life is at risk, you
(15:24):
can be a part of a confidentialaddress program.
Then this way it's not publicrecord.
Those are just two, but there'smany, and so I was able to
really have that help with thatadvocate through the advocate.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I've got so many questions I this has opened up a
whole new debate in my head.
Oh my god, what about this?
I'm just trying to think ofwhat's going to best serve the
person.
Listen to this if they've hadan experience and they're going
through this now.
For instance, my max we're notmax, max has.
Max has come to join me.
(16:03):
My max is my cat and he decidesnever now again to just come
and join the interview.
So say hello to everybody, max,and then you can go and bugger
off somewhere and leave me alone.
Great, the imagine someone elsegoing through this right now in
this day and age.
I don't know in california,because I know a few people in
California.
Where would you recommend?
What's the first thing yourecommend they do right now?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
If they're going through an exact situation as
myself.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Very similar.
Yes, so if it's violence in thehome, they're married, they're
scared, they don't know what todo next.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
The person't leave this sort of scenario because
that's got to be the people juston my head that's what I was
going to say is that everybody'ssituation is different and the
phone calls that I get on adaily basis there's no two that
are alike.
For example, what I just sharedwith you maybe I didn't share
the whole thing, but when Isurvived that double attempted
homicide, I was able to run outof the home with my daughter
(16:58):
because I was able to push himoff of me.
I was on the floor being chokedand punched all at the same
time, while he's straddling mypregnant stomach, and I called
the police.
I went to a neighbor's housethat I saw the lights on at 1130
at night and I'm pounding onthe door barefoot in pajamas
with my kid and I'm like can Iplease use your phone?
I need to call the police.
They let me.
So from that moment when he wasarrested, for me it was done.
(17:22):
I chose not to engage furtherand I chose not to pursue or
accept the collect calls and Ichose to testify, which was the
hardest thing to do.
And that's a whole notherepisode, because for victims to
get on the podium and testifywhen they're bringing the
offender into the room is almostre-victimization.
(17:44):
Okay, because it took my voicefrom me.
I was ready to testify.
He comes in, we lock eyes andall of a sudden my voice went
like this and I couldn't eventalk.
Okay, so that was my situation.
Now, with other people,sometimes I'm getting phone
calls where they just left thehouse and they know that they're
(18:04):
done, they're not going backand they just need to know what
to do and where to go.
So in those circumstances, Isuggest that they call or
contact their family justicecenter so they understand what
their rights are, because Idon't know how long they've been
married.
I'm not asking these questionsso they understand what their
rights are Because I don't knowhow long they've been married.
I'm not asking these questions.
I'm trying to identify what isthe current needs right now,
based on their currentcircumstances, because as your
(18:25):
circumstances change, so do yourneeds right.
So if they know they're notgoing to go back, okay, that's
fine.
And you want to know what yourrights are?
Again, department, familyjustice department.
But are you going to go to ahotel?
Are you going to go to yourfriend's house?
Are you going to your parent'shouse?
Does that person know where youmight go?
Do you have your tracker on?
Do you have your location on?
(18:46):
These are things you might wantto turn off.
If you need to go and get anemergency restraining order, you
go to the local courthouse, yougo to the self-help center.
Yes, you might be there all day.
It's take a number and wait foryour name to be called.
But if you don't know theprocess or the procedures, then
wait for your name to be calledand have somebody help you.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
I love that advice because this I don't know any of
this stuff.
I can never advise somebody onwhat to do in this sort of
situation Not, I would ever geta call like that Very unlikely
I'd get a call for this.
Like they're very unlikely I'dget a call for this.
But this is why I love theseinterviews because you've been
through that journey and,horrific as it was, you've now
empowered yourself with theknowledge to help people
(19:28):
actualize that from the otherside of that journey.
But you already know what itfeels like in some degree and
and a huge degree of what youwent through way back when.
And obviously laws have changed.
The next part of this and thenext episode.
I want to go in through whatlaws and legislations and what
you're actually doingspecifically to really hone in
(19:51):
on this movement you've got forthese people and the nonprofit
and who it actually serves, howto get all of that in contact
with you.
So, if you're listening now,get on to this next episode,
which will be out on Wednesdayand Wednesday, next Wednesday,
whenever it is, and then Garciacan tell you what's actually
going on.
Garcia, before we leave thisepisode, is there anything else
(20:12):
you want to leave the audiencewith.
I know it's been emotional,it's been compassionate and I
really want to thank you foryour openness, your honesty and
being vulnerable there.
It means so much to me and theaudience.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, thank you for allowing me this opportunity to
do and just to put things intoperspective, I would like to
drop something here, and that isyou mentioned you're in
California.
So imagine you just get a knockon your door or the alert on
your phone and you have threeminutes to pack your stuff
because the fire is only twoblocks away.
You need to know in threeminutes what are you going to
pack what's important to you andget out.
(20:44):
That's the same thing for asurvivor.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Three minutes or less , yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
That's very good advice, garcia, thank you very
much for joining me today, myaudience.
Be safe, be well, be blessed.
I love you.
Please share the message.
It's going to help somebody,guaranteed.
This is going to help somebodyTill next time.
See you very shortly.
This is Royce from the Attiers,I'm Baz Porter and this is
Garcia.
(21:12):
I never can pronounce yoursecond and first name, so I'll
just say Garcia, it's justeasier.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode
of Rise from the Ashes.
I am absolutely honored andexcited to be in front of Garcia
today.
Now, those people who watchthis enough.
Forget me with names, secondnames.
I am terrible, garcia.
How are you Please introduceyourself and tell people who you
are and what you do?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I am great.
Thank you for having me here.
I go by A Garcia, but thosethat know me, agape is the name
and I am the founder ofConfronting Domestic Violence, a
501c3.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So where are you located?
And tell me a bit about the501c3 process, because it's not
as straightforward as peopleusually think, is it?
It's not as straightforward aspeople usually think.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Is it, oh, the process?
No, not at all.
Not at all.
The process can be very lengthy.
It depends which route you wantto take the short form or the
long form.
I always suggest do what'shardest first and get it out of
the way, so you're not having toget what you swept under the
carpet later on.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Now domestic violence is very close to your heart and
your mission, for not justyourself, but for many thousands
and possibly millions.
I don't know the numbers offthe top of my head, and these
are real numbers.
Why are you so focused onproviding support, guidance and
(01:26):
elevation for this mission ofyours?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Absolutely.
20 years ago, I survived adouble attempted homicide.
I was eight months pregnant, Iwas over a thousand miles away
from home and I had aneight-year-old daughter present
at the time.
So I was in a brand new spaceand I had no friends, no family
and I knew nothing and hadnowhere to go.
So today, that's whyconfronting domestic violence is
(01:53):
in existence, because of whatI've went through my personal
experience there is such a thingas post-traumatic growth, and I
have gone through that journey,and our mission at Confronting
Domestic Violence is to providereal-time resources to real-time
victims and help familiesrelocate when they have a safe
(02:13):
place to go and not the means toget there.
So I'm bridging those gaps.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I love that.
Can we go back for a moment toa time after that incident?
What was the follow-up?
Was there any help for you, wasthere any resources back then,
or were you just completely?
Did you feel just alone?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
All of the above.
So, of course, I felt alone,because that was reality.
I was alone and resources beingin a brand new state.
I didn't understand or know thelaws.
I had to do a lot of researchto learn them.
I didn't get much sleep,obviously, after that because I
was so extremely worried.
I couldn't believe that I hadjust moved and this was my new
(02:54):
life to figure out.
And as many places as I went Ican start with the arrest right,
the police.
They give you 1-800 numbers tocall.
They give you a piece of paperand say, okay, do your thing.
And so I did exactly that.
I started with those 1-800numbers.
I stood in line for food stamps, I stood in line for help, I
(03:16):
stood in line for anything thatI could receive as a victim,
with nothing.
And let me tell you that Iprobably made over 900 phone
calls before I found somebodywho actually was able to assist
me.
And I can share with you thatif I didn't have the tenacity to
(03:38):
fight and advocate for myself,I probably would not have, I
probably would not be here todayand I would not have been able
to make it this far either.
So that's one thing that Ireally hone in on is if you
don't know who you are in amoment of devastation, that's
totally normal.
Know who you're not and startthere.
(03:59):
I love that advice.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I love that advice and thank you truly.
Thank you not just from me, butfrom the thousands of people
who have at some level beenaffected by domestic violence.
It's a campaign that is notjust close to your heart.
It's what you've decided toonboard and envision.
But one of the things I loveabout you is it's not for
(04:21):
yourself, it's to create freedomfor others.
About you is it's not foryourself, it's to create freedom
for others, and you've turnedtrauma into a growth spurt, but
it became more about a lifestylealready, didn't it?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I feel like this is my life mission, my
purpose.
I didn't go through all of thisfor nothing and I don't think
anybody deserves to go throughit.
And unfortunately, you know thenumbers that you, as you talked
about before.
You know, according to theDepartment of Justice, one out
of three women and one out offour men either have experienced
or will experience a form ofdomestic violence in their
(04:57):
lifetime.
And, with that being said, Iknow all too well what it's like
to be completely devastated.
And the unfortunate part isthat you're not looking for
these resources until you needthem.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, where did you first find out that after the
hundred I'm trying to comprehendthe hundred phone calls, 900
phone calls sorry, not a hundredphone calls Most people get
bored about 15 and say, oh,nevermind.
Most people get bored about 15and say, oh, never mind.
But the persistence, the 900,that's pretty.
The KFC the Colonel went around124 banks before he got a yes.
(05:37):
You went to 900 phone callsbefore you got a yes.
In some direction, that'scommitment for you.
What was the driving forcebehind it?
You said you had a child,eight-year-old child.
Was that a part of it or was itsomething much deeper?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
All the above right.
So I had my eight-year-oldchild and I had a brand new baby
right.
Wow, because I was eight monthspregnant.
I was 45 days from the date ofthe incident to my due date, so
I have 45 days to figure out.
What was I going to do?
Of course, I did not figure itout in 45 days.
(06:09):
That's where I started justsaying to myself I need to
advocate for myself and talk tothe leasing office.
How am I going to get myselfoff of this lease without my
credit being dinged, withouthaving this on my background, so
I can then go and findsomething else?
It was.
It's just a slew of things, butthe thing is that when you're
in a place of sink or swim,you're going to make that choice
(06:32):
, and that's where I was at.
So I had no choice but to makethese calls because I did not
have family, I did not havefriends, I did not know the area
.
I was only able to tap into theresources in my area.
Otherwise, I didn't know what Iwas going to do.
I didn't know where else to go.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Perhaps for you from a male point of view.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I can't even fathom what that was like going through
not just the physical journeybut the emotional journey and
the mental journey, theuncertainty and the hormones
pregnancy brings.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
On top of all that, again, I can't even speak into
it.
I have no clue.
I know I've got a lot of womenlisteners.
Could you share that experience?
It just helps them get a graspof what that journey was
actually like for a pregnantwoman, or post-pregnancy and
pre-pregnancy and in semester.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Absolutely 100%.
I can tell you hands down.
I feel it right now like it wasyesterday and I'm a mama bear.
I am going to protect mychildren.
I don't care who you are, whereyou're coming from, it's all
about the kids, especially inthat, under those circumstances,
right?
So, as I understood that I'mtheir sole provider, I'm the
(07:51):
only one that's here to protectthem.
I'm the only one here that's toprovide for them.
I have to figure it out.
This is on me to do, and thatwas my driving force.
If I got a few hours of sleep, Iwas great, because my
adrenaline was flowing so hardand I could feel it through my
veins.
I was just so committed onfinding a way out and getting
(08:14):
see.
I'm getting choked up andgetting what I needed because it
was about my kids.
I put them above me.
They need to eat before I needto eat.
They have to have a goodnight's sleep before I do.
They need to feel safe at homemore than I do.
And let me tell you, duringthat 45 days, while I was trying
to rush this birth, I'mliterally carrying my
(08:34):
eight-year-old, trying to makemy water break.
Of course, that did not happen,but I just wanted to have my
child out of me faster, so myunborn child didn't have to feel
all of what I was suffering andgoing through.
And, like I said, it didn'thappen.
However, I had an escape planfor my daughter.
(08:56):
I had the couch in front of thefront door.
I had things like Jimmy riggedall across the apartment so that
God forbid if he got out and hecame to the door.
I always had that in my mind,but there was that again, that
tenacity and persistence ofwhat's the status today?
(09:16):
Is he still behind bars?
Are you holding him?
What's going on?
What's happening?
As long as I knew that he wasstill apprehended, then that
gave me another day ofresearching and figuring out
what I needed to do.
Hands down.
By far.
The kids were my priority, mystrength, my purpose, my drive,
everything my purpose my driveeverything.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Thank you for sharing that.
I can not just put the audience, who can physically see this
video on YouTube or whateverplatform you're listening on,
rumble or listening.
Go and have a listen again andhear the compassion in Garcia's
voice and what she's saying.
You can hear the journey.
This is truly not about anotherinterview.
(10:03):
This is about her reliving ajourney that she went through,
but she lives every day insomeone else's vision.
Another person approaches herand says I've had a similar
experience.
This is what Garcia does.
She lives and breathes it, andit's not for herself.
(10:23):
That's her mission.
That's a part of who she is,but it's for people like you
listening to this and if you'vehad an experience of this, pick
up the phone, tell somebody.
Pick up the phone to Garcia orgive her an email.
I can't give you the personaldetails on here, obviously, but
pick up the phone, tell someoneabout what's going on.
(10:46):
Don't hide from it.
That's right, because thelonger you hide and Garcia can
verify this the more it willcontinue, and the more it
continues in your life, the moreyou accept and devalue who you
truly are.
Please, for your future's sake,for your children's sake, don't
(11:06):
do that.
This is my battle cry to allthem people out there, male and
female, while going throughsomething right now, because
it's a predominantly femalechallenge.
People go through and it's morecommercialized in the female
world.
It doesn't mean men don't gothrough it, because I'm sure
they do.
I don't know the numbers,probably Garcia does.
(11:27):
She knows a lot more about thisthan I would ever do.
So you've gone through thatjourney.
Thank you truly for sharingthat.
It puts things not just formyself but for the audience and
you're listening into contextand you've gone through the
journey and you found, after 900phone calls which just blows my
(11:48):
mind, what next?
What?
Obviously it wasn't smooth,like just suddenly did it all
stopped?
What was the procedure for younext?
Was there help given straightaway?
Were there other barriers andchallenges?
Because it was a longer journeyit was absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
My whole thing was okay.
I need to find a job right,because I wasn't going to get
hired at eight months pregnant.
So the unfortunate part wasthat it robbed me of bonding
with my newborn child, becausemy needs were to have money to
(12:26):
pay for rent and find a place tomove into that was safe,
without a couch in front of thedoor or without ropes hanging
from windows.
Okay, and so I had to basicallylet go of almost everything.
Anything I couldn't carry on myback that had to be left behind
.
Anything I couldn't sell or getrid of had to be left behind.
(12:50):
Anything that I had planned asit relates to I was in school,
but I had to leave that as well.
I had a vision of a career path.
I had to leave that as well,because it just boiled down to
what are my immediate needs,what is going to pay the bills
and put food on the table,because that's what I'm going to
take, because that's what Ineed.
(13:10):
And that's how it started and,thank goodness, I was able to
get a job at probably my childwas maybe two months.
The moment that daycare canaccept the kids is when he was
there and that allowed me tohave an office with a phone and
I was able to blast through awhole lot more phone calls than
(13:34):
I was at home dealing with thekids and I will I'll be honest
here and say that it wasn'tuntil I found an advocate.
A lot of the 1-800 numbers thatI called only gave me another
1-800 number and another one,and so many were disconnected
and so many just gave me otherones.
And it just wasn't until Ireally connected with an
advocate.
And I am so big on advocatingfor survivors and victims to get
(13:56):
and find an advocate, and I amso big on advocating for
survivors and victims to get andfind an advocate.
Go to your attorney general,find out who's on the roster as
advocates.
Figure out who and what isavailable.
Whoever you're talking to findout.
Today I now know where I cansend people to get this
information.
Back then I did not, and so thatadvocate.
(14:18):
The reason why I'm so big onthe advocate is because that's
their life too.
They're already informed of thedifferent programs that your
state has, the differentopportunities that are available
for victims.
Also your rights as a victim.
There are so many things that Inever knew that this advocate
was able to share with me.
(14:39):
And then it was up to me to goand take I don't want to say
take advantage of it, but reapthe benefits from it Right.
For example I'll give a fewexamples I was able to take the
father's name off the birthcertificate, so there's no
rights at all.
You know what?
That eliminated Everything Ineeded to do in court.
(15:00):
There was no court becausethere was no name.
So I was so elated that I wasable to do that.
Another thing is there's a lotof states that offer, through
legislation, confidentialaddress program.
So if you have a restrainingorder, if you have some sort of
report, police report, to showthat your life is at risk, you
(15:24):
can be a part of a confidentialaddress program.
Then this way it's not publicrecord.
Those are just two, but there'smany, and so I was able to
really have that help with thatadvocate through the advocate.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I've got so many questions I this has opened up a
whole new debate in my head.
Oh my god, what about this?
I'm just trying to think ofwhat's going to best serve the
person.
Listen to this if they've hadan experience and they're going
through this now.
For instance, my max we're notmax, max has.
Max has come to join me.
(16:03):
My max is my cat and he decidesnever now again to just come
and join the interview.
So say hello to everybody, max,and then you can go and bugger
off somewhere and leave me alone.
Great, the imagine someone elsegoing through this right now in
this day and age.
I don't know in california,because I know a few people in
California.
Where would you recommend?
What's the first thing yourecommend they do right now?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
If they're going through an exact situation as
myself.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Very similar.
Yes, so if it's violence in thehome, they're married, they're
scared, they don't know what todo next.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
The person't leave this sort of scenario because
that's got to be the people juston my head that's what I was
going to say is that everybody'ssituation is different and the
phone calls that I get on adaily basis there's no two that
are alike.
For example, what I just sharedwith you maybe I didn't share
the whole thing, but when Isurvived that double attempted
homicide, I was able to run outof the home with my daughter
(16:58):
because I was able to push himoff of me.
I was on the floor being chokedand punched all at the same
time, while he's straddling mypregnant stomach, and I called
the police.
I went to a neighbor's housethat I saw the lights on at 1130
at night and I'm pounding onthe door barefoot in pajamas
with my kid and I'm like can Iplease use your phone?
I need to call the police.
They let me.
So from that moment when he wasarrested, for me it was done.
(17:22):
I chose not to engage furtherand I chose not to pursue or
accept the collect calls and Ichose to testify, which was the
hardest thing to do.
And that's a whole notherepisode, because for victims to
get on the podium and testifywhen they're bringing the
offender into the room is almostre-victimization.
(17:44):
Okay, because it took my voicefrom me.
I was ready to testify.
He comes in, we lock eyes andall of a sudden my voice went
like this and I couldn't eventalk.
Okay, so that was my situation.
Now, with other people,sometimes I'm getting phone
calls where they just left thehouse and they know that they're
(18:04):
done, they're not going backand they just need to know what
to do and where to go.
So in those circumstances, Isuggest that they call or
contact their family justicecenter so they understand what
their rights are, because Idon't know how long they've been
married.
I'm not asking these questionsso they understand what their
rights are Because I don't knowhow long they've been married.
I'm not asking these questions.
I'm trying to identify what isthe current needs right now,
based on their currentcircumstances, because as your
(18:25):
circumstances change, so do yourneeds right.
So if they know they're notgoing to go back, okay, that's
fine.
And you want to know what yourrights are?
Again, department, familyjustice department.
But are you going to go to ahotel?
Are you going to go to yourfriend's house?
Are you going to your parent'shouse?
Does that person know where youmight go?
Do you have your tracker on?
Do you have your location on?
(18:46):
These are things you might wantto turn off.
If you need to go and get anemergency restraining order, you
go to the local courthouse, yougo to the self-help center.
Yes, you might be there all day.
It's take a number and wait foryour name to be called.
But if you don't know theprocess or the procedures, then
wait for your name to be calledand have somebody help you.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
I love that advice because this I don't know any of
this stuff.
I can never advise somebody onwhat to do in this sort of
situation Not, I would ever geta call like that Very unlikely
I'd get a call for this.
Like they're very unlikely I'dget a call for this.
But this is why I love theseinterviews because you've been
through that journey and,horrific as it was, you've now
empowered yourself with theknowledge to help people
(19:28):
actualize that from the otherside of that journey.
But you already know what itfeels like in some degree and
and a huge degree of what youwent through way back when.
And obviously laws have changed.
The next part of this and thenext episode.
I want to go in through whatlaws and legislations and what
you're actually doingspecifically to really hone in
(19:51):
on this movement you've got forthese people and the nonprofit
and who it actually serves, howto get all of that in contact
with you.
So, if you're listening now,get on to this next episode,
which will be out on Wednesdayand Wednesday, next Wednesday,
whenever it is, and then Garciacan tell you what's actually
going on.
Garcia, before we leave thisepisode, is there anything else
(20:12):
you want to leave the audiencewith.
I know it's been emotional,it's been compassionate and I
really want to thank you foryour openness, your honesty and
being vulnerable there.
It means so much to me and theaudience.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, thank you for allowing me this opportunity to
do and just to put things intoperspective, I would like to
drop something here, and that isyou mentioned you're in
California.
So imagine you just get a knockon your door or the alert on
your phone and you have threeminutes to pack your stuff
because the fire is only twoblocks away.
You need to know in threeminutes what are you going to
pack what's important to you andget out.
(20:44):
That's the same thing for asurvivor.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Three minutes or less , yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
That's very good advice, garcia, thank you very
much for joining me today, myaudience.
Be safe, be well, be blessed.
I love you.
Please share the message.
It's going to help somebody,guaranteed.
This is going to help somebodyTill next time.
See you very shortly.
This is Royce from the Attiers,I'm Baz Porter and this is
Garcia.
(21:12):
I never can pronounce yoursecond and first name, so I'll
just say Garcia, it's justeasier.
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