Cloe Xhauflaire was living her dream. A classically-trained Belgian actress performing on stages across Europe, she had built the career she'd always wanted. Then love changed everything.
When her partner was diagnosed with cancer, Cloe made the heart-wrenching choice that millions face: sacrifice her dreams to save someone she loved. She put her flourishing career on hold, dedicated her life to his healing, and watched helplessly as he slipped away.
In that devastating moment of loss, Cloe faced the brutal reality many know too well: she had lost her sense of self completely.
But this isn't a story about endings - it's about finding yourself again after sacrifice. From the ashes of her grief, Cloe discovered something powerful: her pain could become her purpose.
Her transformation: From Belgian stages → Career sacrifice for love → Devastating loss → Rebuilding after sacrifice → Creating "Acting Everywhere" coaching → Publishing "Dare to Shine"
If you've ever sacrificed your dreams for others and wondered who you are without them, Cloe's journey will show you the way back to yourself.
Key Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:34 Chloe's Background and Acting Journey
02:28 Life Challenges and Personal Growth
02:54 Favorite Countries and Cultural Experiences
05:00 Love, Loss, and Career Sacrifices
09:08 From Personal Struggles to Helping Others
13:10 Dare to Shine: Chloe's Book and Vision
17:45 Closing Thoughts and Inspirational Message
Cloe's Journey Back to Herself:
Thriving actress → Choosing love over career → Total dedication to partner's healing → Devastating loss → Complete loss of identity → Learning that "you can't save anyone" → Channeling grief into helping others → Creating new purpose through coaching → Reclaiming your identity on your own terms
Sometimes losing everything is the only way to find who you really are. ACTINEVERYWHERE.
If You’ve Been Hooked on These Episodes… This Is for You
If this podcast has been landing deep… if each story feels like it’s peeling back something raw and real in you… then don’t ignore that.
Every guest you’ve heard made the same decision: to stop performing and start healing.
Now it’s your turn.
Take the Silent Collapse Diagnostic. It’s not a quiz. It’s a wake-up tool for women who are done pretending they’re fine.
No fluff. No journaling prompts. Just a straight-up mirror into where you’re silently collapsing behind the mask of success.
If you're serious about reclaiming your energy, your clarity, your life start there.
Because breakthrough doesn’t begin with doing more. It begins with finally seeing what’s been stealing your power.
Learn more about Baz Porter at www.bazporter.com
Episode Transcript
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode
of Rise from the Ashes podcast.
I am joined with an absolutelegend in the acting industry,
in the personal developmentindustry.
She has gone through a hell ofa journey and I can't ever
pronounce her second name, so Iwon't even try.
Chloe, how are you?
(00:23):
She's an author, she's anamazing human being and I want
to introduce Chloe to the world.
Chloe, can you tell people whoyou are, what you do and what
you're passionate about?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi everyone.
My name is Chloe O'Flair and Iknow it's much easier to
pronounce than to write becauseit starts with an X, an XH, and
it's crazy.
I was born in Belgium, raisedin Belgium and it's a typical
name in Belgium, but it's mucheasier.
It could be Irish, actually,all flair, but it's not.
It's Belgian.
(00:56):
I was raised in Belgium and Idid my education there and then
I went to drama school in theConservatory of Brussels and
then became an actress from theConservatory Royal in Brussels,
being on stage for many years,and then at some point decided
to go to London and then end upto America doing a workshop over
(01:19):
there, ending up in a bigworkshop in America, fall in
love in New York and then thewhole journey led me to
Australia and I unfortunately mypartner at that time got cancer
.
So I came back to America andthen build started working as a
(01:43):
lead coach in a big studio overthere, susan Batson Studio which
is a very renowned acting coachyeah, acting coach business.
They are not doing the schoolanymore, but they were back then
.
And then, a few years after, Idecided to create my own company
.
I created Acting Everywhere andbecause I was from Europe,
(02:05):
raised and born there, educatedthere, european actress, and I
was in America with the methodacting and I decided to match,
both make a match and creatingsomething that really worked for
me.
I also worked in Australia witha fabulous coach, larry Moss,
and that mix between everythingand adding my experience with
(02:30):
the death of my ex-partner, Ibecame a life coach because I
wanted to understand the processof the brain, process of what's
going on as a human being, andso I mix everything and I create
an act in everywhere and I'mdoing workshops and training all
around Europe and in America.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Well, it's a hell of a journey.
I'm going to ask you thiswhat's your favorite country?
Because you've traveled quite abit and that's why I love,
because people like you aren'tjust centralized and they
haven't got just the experienceof one country.
You've been to the States.
You've traveled vastlyexperience of one country.
You've been to the states.
You've traveled vastly in thestates.
You've been to australia, mostof europe.
What's the best part of whichis your favorite country and why
(03:15):
?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I think there's different countries depending of
what I'm looking for, but Ithink italy has my heart for
many reasons.
First, for the food, becauseit's one of the best food in the
world.
You can say whatever you want.
I'm trying to be gluten-free,but when you're in Italy it's
impossible.
I'm trying to be sugar-free,when you go to Italy, the
(03:39):
tiramisu is like just a hell ofa tiramisu, so you can't go
outside there.
The people, the language,everything is over there.
So I love going in Italy and Ilove going coaching there.
Now, regarding the country Ibasically what's funny is that
(04:01):
one of my favorite was Englandand I was not ready to work
there when I started English andlearning English, because I
moved from Brussels and I wentto London and I went straight to
America because when I was inLondon they said they protect
the actors so much you're notgoing to be able to make it with
your accent.
So that's the reason why Imoved to New York.
(04:22):
And then the journey.
But when I think about it, Ithink London has this mix
between everything I found inNew York and the kind of a cool
behavior that we have in Belgiumand the language that I love
English, I love English, so Ithink that's a country that I
really love as well.
I like the mix between thestrict respect of other and the
(04:46):
kind of humor as well.
I really love the humor thatbelgian and english have the
close in some reason.
That's because they'll laughabout themselves.
So that's the, I would say, thetwo countries that I really
love I know I love that.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Can we back up a minute where we, where you, fell
in love and that journeybecause that is a you.
The profession you're in is avery flamboyant, illustrious,
limelighted career.
Is it not a lot of the time,especially being in the media,
speaking to people, being thispersona for a lot of the time?
(05:21):
How did the marriage marry gelin together?
How did you meet him and howdid that affect your
relationship with your careerand managing a marriage?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I never got married with him.
It's just the thing is, when Iwas in New York we fell in love.
I moved to Australia to visitAustralia and to discover I was
not speaking English very wellback then and then,
unfortunately, six months after,he was a famous actor in
(05:56):
Australia.
I was not aware of it when Imet him because I was not really
aware of the Australianindustry back then and he was
born in America but making hiscareer in Australia and his
family was in Australia.
And then we decided to heal inAustralia and then I came back
in New York.
(06:17):
I started to work hard to makesure that I could help him with
my way of helping him.
It was a very weird moment forme because I was really at the
top of my acting in Belgium andthen I moved over there.
I fell in love, I wanted tolevel up and really rise in New
(06:37):
York and I was with a man whowas sick and there was no way I
could keep going on my journeyas an actress with him being
over there and struggling alone.
So I did everything I could tomake things work in New York for
him because he had an apartmentthere, so I rented and
transformed it.
(06:57):
I did everything, and then wewent to Australia and then the
life happened and I completelygave up on myself at that moment
.
I completely dedicated my lifeto save him and to make sure
that I was going to be the onesaving him and the one who was
(07:19):
going to be stronger than cancer.
In fact, I failed, but what Ilearned from this is that first
you're, never going to saveanyone, that's for sure.
Because if someone could havebeen saved, I would have done it
, because, with the dedication Ihad for that man, I truly know
(07:39):
that I did everything I could tomake it happen.
We went to Bali.
We're here, I'm excited,drinking sauerkraut and
spiraling at three in themorning.
I'm telling you it's not abeautiful journey, but I did and
in fact, what's crazy in inthis?
Because we were both actors Iwas really emotionally trying to
(08:02):
understand what was going onwith this journey, the body
journey, and how the mind affect.
So that led me to a lot ofbooks, a lot of information to
understand the process of howthoughts are creating your own
journey, how thoughts arecreating your own journey, how
thoughts are creating yourfeelings, are creating your
reaction and all that.
So it led, unconsciously, ittaught me what I was going to
(08:27):
teach later to help actors toreally level up.
But at that time I had no ideamy mistake, which I don't think
it's a mistake today, because myjourney has been there and I
would have done exactly the samething with the knowledge I had
back then.
But there was no way for me tokeep going in America and keep
(08:48):
driving my force on being anactress and having him
struggling over there.
So it was really my journeyback then to make it happen.
And then, when I came back inNew York, it was me having to
deal with my own self and makeit happen.
(09:09):
And what happened is that Irealized that there was a lot of
actors struggling withemotional disturbance and a lot
of mindset.
That was not clear, and I amconvinced that he had this issue
too and he had struggled withanger and resentment and all
(09:30):
that.
And, believe it or not, I dobelieve that has a huge impact
on the health.
I know some people don't.
I do believe it and I see thataround me and what I realized
that is with seeing actorsstruggling and struggling with
what they've been going throughas kids and as human being.
(09:51):
During the journey, I wanted tobe a stand for the help of
making them being better forthemselves in order for them to
succeed and having the mindsetthat they could have in order
for that journey to be abeautiful journey instead of him
being a hell of a journey,because we know this industry is
so rough, and so I dedicated mytime to really help others
(10:16):
because I couldn't help himanymore.
So somehow I transposed that tomy actors and the actors I'm
coaching even today.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
There's a load of points there that I want to.
I could spend all day talkingabout One of the points that I
really is.
You said earlier you gave yourall to save somebody else.
That's a common theme withentrepreneurs, with people who
go through journeys, especiallywomen like yourself, who
sacrifice everything that theyare, including their identity,
(10:52):
sometimes in order to please andserve other people.
But you took what you learnedand you went.
I got this and instead of going, this is all happening to me
and I can't deal with this.
You took it and you builtsomething very remarkable and
you reclaimed yourself.
(11:14):
That takes courage.
Firstly, there isn'tcoincidence, because there's no
such thing as a coincidence Ifyou look at the word to coincide
or to align.
Going back to the Sanskrit andhow English words are
interpreted from Sanskrit nevermade it.
That's another lesson, but allof it is becoming who you're
(11:34):
supposed to be.
You said something earlierabout you gave everything for
somebody else, but what I reallylike is what you said
afterwards.
I realized that it wasn't meantto be.
Yeah.
At that point, you switched notjust mindset from self-service,
(11:59):
which is what you've been taughtto do by serving someone else
in a relationship to.
I want to give impact.
I want to change people's lives.
But you switch mindsets.
From there you get a complete180.
Now that just doesn't takecourage.
(12:19):
That takes a certain kind ofperson with a certain kind of
upbringing and a bigger vision,and that's what I want to talk
to you about now.
Is that bigger vision?
Because the shell of what youare now is everything combined.
But now you're like what's next?
How do I take that?
(12:39):
Help people and go?
That's interesting, that's cool.
So, yeah, that happened to forme, but you've packaged
something.
Now that's really I know whatit is, um, but you've packaged
it into something that reallychanged people's lives.
I've read it.
I've read that book from frontto back.
(13:01):
Can you speak briefly about thebook you've just launched?
Not the book, anything else butthe book you've just done,
that's for next time.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
So Dare to Shine is really.
It's a journey.
It's dare to shine yeah,exactly, it's daring and it's
there to shine yeah, exactly,it's daring.
And it's something that I neverdid and what I witnessed when I
was in New York in the studio,working with those international
actors.
I was really okay.
Those actors are reallysometimes extremely skilled and,
(13:33):
as I was too, I have beentrained by the best in the world
and, as I was too, I have beentrained by the best in the world
and I was like, okay, whatmakes the difference between
someone who's making it andsomeone who is struggling day
after day after day?
And the mix between the mindsetand accepting who you are and
(13:55):
the truth of what has happenedand not feeling embarrassed
about it anymore?
Because what happened is, whenI arrived in New York, I was
working in the studios and inscenes and I was struggling with
the fact that I was in pain,with all these emotions, and I
was using that as the skill asan actor, but it was not acting
(14:16):
anymore.
It was suffering, and Iwitnessed that with a lot of
actors being on stage or beingon set and struggling with what
they had inside and not level upto what they can use in order
for them to go to the next level.
And so Dare to Shine was bornbecause I really wanted to mix
everything and give everythingfor them not to lose the time to
(14:41):
dedicate their time to someoneelse, but dedicate their time to
them to be the best person andthen helping someone else.
Because I was not healed and Iwas not aware that I was doing
that 100% losing myself backthen, was not aware that I was
doing that 100% losing myselfback then.
(15:02):
And what I wanted is how can I,how can an actor come on stage
and feeling fully free toexpress, to love, to create and
be the channel, the vessel foranother one, to have access to
emotions, because that's what wedo as actor, right?
So in order for that, andwitnessing so many actors on
stage and in front of a camera,I was like there is something
(15:23):
that we need to heal to let themshine and from there they will
help other people to shine.
So that was my littlecontribution to the world to
help other people to shine aswell.
I really thought if one personcan be healed and can express
herself fully with what she'sbeen going through, then the
(15:48):
other one who's been in theother side of the camera will
see that, will feel it, and thenin the audience, everybody will
be able to shine as well.
So that was my desire isunleash your true potential and
really giving the best you can.
But when you're full of block,full of things that have been
happening back then, you cannotdo it.
(16:11):
So the idea was really to givea book to touch many actors in
the whole world instead ofstaying in my little bubble.
It was an act of generosity,basically.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I love that.
Just hear the passion, not justin your voice I know the
listeners can as well but inyour mannerisms, your smile.
You glow when you light up,when you speak about this and
it's something very close toyour heart and what the book is
about Dare to Shine.
Please go and look at it onAmazon and any other stores that
(16:44):
have been.
The links are below.
Go and buy the bloody book,because it's awesome.
The whole book is aboutauthenticity and you don't know
this, but I want to share thiswith the audience and with you
now, because I like droppingsurprises.
I have RAMS, which you know asResults, attitude, mastery and
Systems.
You've heard that before.
I've spoken to you about it,but I added something else in
(17:05):
there because of you, and youwere the inspiration for this.
It's an extra A and it wasauthenticity.
So it's Attitude andAuthenticity, mastery and
Systems, and you were theinspiration behind it from a
conversation that we had a fewmonths ago.
So I want to thank you fordoing that for me.
That was my gift to you and tothe world from something you
(17:28):
taught me within that lastconversation.
I'm going to end it part onehere.
I really want people to listento this and go and get that book
, because I promise you, if youread it, apply it, understand it
, it will change your life.
Before we go, chloe, is thereanything else you'd like to
leave the audience with?
An inspiration or a direction?
(17:51):
We're going to lead in Acliffhanger, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
What I think is that your only fear is an emotion and
you can do everything in yourlife if you nail how to deal
with your emotions and onceyou're digging it and you allow
the emotions to be there.
They are emotions though theyare, they are meant to go away,
(18:19):
but we're scared of it.
So if you allow them to be andfeel the feelings they are there
, right, you feel it and you letthat emotion be, then you can
do everything you want in life,because there is no other fear I
love that for my audience.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
To Chloe thank you very much, you're awesome.
This is the end of part one,but it's not the end.
On part two, we'll go in forthe essential and what's really
going on in her life right now.
Chloe, you're awesome.
Thank you very much for joiningme To my audience, please, and
share this with somebody who mayneed it.
Even on a dark day, there'salways light at the end of the
(18:58):
tunnel, so be the light in thetunnel For my audience.
Thank you very much.
This is Rise From the Ashespodcast.
I'm Baz Porter.
This is Chloe.
I'm not going to say yoursecond name because I always
mess it up.
I'm dyslexic and that's justwhat happens.
No-transcript.
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